And then I found me a lover who could play the bass
He's kinda quiet, but his body ain't
Spend the days dreaming and the nights awake
Doin' things we know we shouldn't do
'Cause I wouldn't be with you

Secret one: Eddie held Julia first

Though the night that Eddie spilled his feelings for Camila, due to a mix of rum and coke and having met the end of his patience for one Billy Dunne, was always going to be significant, he would not categorize it as the start of his story.

His and Mila's, specifically.

No, that was the night that everything became real.

It was also the night that changed everything.

But if he was being perfectly honest, they'd been walking that line for a bit now, both of them getting close to the edge, and often backing away before something happened that either of them might regret.

It wasn't a secret that he was in love with her. He was sure, on some level, she had to know, right? He wasn't very good at his poker face (told to him constantly by Warren). He knew from the pitying looks that Karen gave him, or the half-frustrated ones Graham threw his way (not wanting to get into a fight between one of his bandmates and his brother), or from the way Warren would shake his head that Eddie Roundtree wore his heart on his sleeve. It seemed sometimes that the only people who didn't know were the two people at the center of it.

Camila, which tore his heart out, and Billy.

Billy not knowing was probably for the best.

Well, he was pretty sure Billy knew he had once held a candle for her, and Eddie was almost sure that Billy was foolishly pretending that it had just evaporated like the water in California. Once again, Eddie wasn't upset. If Billy truly knew how Eddie felt, he would have been kicked out of the band a while ago.

Their story didn't start as youngsters either, though. That would be dialing it too far back. It was the start of a friendship, sure, but friendship wasn't the same as what would happen after. Eddie was friends with Graham or Warren and he sure as hell hoped it never turned into anything romantic.

There was a time that felt almost effortless, but equally like he was constantly gasping for oxygen, unable to take full breaths, and just floating on the thought that what he was doing with Camila wasn't wrong, it arguably wasn't right. It was addictive and enchanting and he'd never feel the air in his lungs again to keep getting to see her smiles when she saw him across a room.

For example; August 1974.

It was the first time that Eddie acted upon those little voices in his head, the ones that gave him terrible advice that would surely give him a black eye, curtsey of Billy fucking Dunne, if he always listened.

Up until now, Eddie had kept his sorrows to himself. He hadn't let Camila see them. He'd watched Mila give up her whole life for Billy and follow them out here (but at least she was still around, right?). He'd heard them have sex only once for him to demand that Warren switch bedrooms with him because he'd never make it if he had to hear that every night. He'd bit his tongue as Camila and Billy shared grossly affectionate kisses, trying to shake away the fantasies of what it might feel like if Camila kissed him. He tried not to let his glass slip through his fingers when Camila announced that she was pregnant.

He hadn't even been lying when he told Camila he was happy for her at her wedding. Billy could fuck right off, but Camila was glowing, and not just from her pregnancy. She was so happy. For one second, Eddie let himself live with the idea that perhaps this was going to work. That Billy would be the perfect husband and Camila would want for nothing. She'd always be loved. She'd never be unhappy.

Eddie wasn't a monster. He wanted that for her, genuinely.

But he wasn't surprised when it wasn't. In fact, his most present feeling was fury towards Billy.

How he could just throw aside someone like that, and for what? Sex with groupies that would just be clambering to get at the next rockstar that rolled through town? While Camila waited for him at home, pregnant with his kid?

If it wouldn't make Camila utterly devastated, Eddie would be lying if he said there weren't nights he didn't wonder if anyone would think the death of a young Billy Dunne would be anything other than an overdose by an addict.

But the world came crashing down and shifted his entire attitude and own pre-set rules about everything the night Julia was born.

Everything came at him like whiplash, each truth hurdling toward him like a wave, hitting him again and again before he even had a chance to process the last communication.

Camila went into labor.

She had a little girl.

Billy didn't see them at all, didn't even call.

Teddy checked Billy into a place to get him help.

The tour was canceled.

"Awe, fuck, man!" Warren groaned as they loaded up their instruments, "Think we'll get to keep the advance?"

"I'd sincerely doubt it," Karen replied, more frustrated than bummed, "It was given to us as a promise that we'd do the tour."

"I mean, they gotta get it, right?" Warren protested, moving his hands around as he gesticulated, "Extenuating circumstances?"

"Keep dreaming," Eddie grumped, his single contribution to the ongoing conversation, just enough to not be obvious that his thoughts were anywhere but here.

Camila was a mother. She'd given birth. Alone.

Guilt pooled in his stomach, which was absurd because it was not like he could have dropped everything if someone had phoned him to let him know before it started. Though, perhaps the key word here was 'could' because if he was given the option, he absolutely would.

No one would notice a missing bassist anyway, right?

The ride back to Los Angeles was eerily silent. The uncertainty of what tomorrow would bring seemed to rest heavily on everyone's shoulders.

"But we'll go see Camila tomorrow," Graham tried to lighten the moods of everyone, "And absolutely spoil that little girl. I'm sure that will brighten Camila right up."

"You mean distract her from the fact her husband is a piece of shit who didn't even have the balls to meet the kid he created?" Eddie didn't mean to say it out loud. It was meant to be an inner thought, accompanied by a snort. But it came out anyway.

Not like it wasn't true.

Graham's face turned ugly, "He's doing this to get better. For her."

"Whatever," Eddie rolled his eyes, "Seems awfully convenient. Seems like Billy is doing it for Billy. I just…dunno."

He could have said far more, and far worse things, but he recognize he was tired as hell and upset about the tour and scared, just like everyone else, that their California dream was dead.

"I think we've all deserved a good rest," Karen clapped her hands, "Let's go."

Though she claimed to not want children, she was particularly good at Mother Henning everyone.

Eddie trudged inside with everyone else, and they went to bed with the promise of going to the hospital first thing tomorrow morning.

And if Eddie had stuck with that plan, maybe nothing would have ever shifted. Maybe he would have never known what he knew now or did what he did.

You see, the thing is, Eddie could not sleep. He lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling, and mapping out the water damage with his eyes as he tried to lull himself to sleep. But whenever he started to drift off, he thought of Mila, having to sleep alone. Yes, she'd just had a daughter, but a newborn wasn't much of a comfort.

How could he possibly sleep knowing that no one was there for her? Tomorrow, everyone would be there for the baby, but what about Camila?

Now, Eddie had a handful of cousins that had given birth, so he knew two things.

One; the birth was usually meant to include the mother and the baby's father, which is why it would have been inappropriate for him to go be with her, even if Billy had asked him to. Not that Billy ever would, granted.

Two; the first twenty-four hours or so were meant to be a time to bond between the new family of three.

This is where Eddie crossed the line, but he couldn't help himself.

At 2 A.M. he found himself driving through the nearly empty streets of L.A. to Cedar- Sinai. He figured that if Camila didn't want him there she'd simply turn him away. But at least he could claim he tried.

He'd told himself long ago that he'd always just be a friend to Camila and that was enough. But he wasn't being a friend here. Being a friend would be coming with the rest of the band tomorrow morning, as a group or set, and not setting himself so obviously apart.

Truth be told, he wasn't sure he could just sit by being her friend when Camila was in need of a partner, and it was abundantly clear that was not going to be Billy.

At the entrance, he was told by a night nurse that visiting hours were over. A problem he hadn't anticipated.

Until…he hedged a bet.

The hope was that Billy hadn't been to any hospital visits with Camila, too busy with the band to attend, or at least, that no one here knew what he looked like. While Eddie liked to think that their band totally rocked, and The Six had sold a fair amount of records (enough to get them that tour), he was praying that everyone on the night crew here hated pop music and loved Christain Gospel or Redneck Country and therefore would have zero ideas what Billy Dunne looked like.

"I'm Camila Dunne's husband, Billy. I was at work in San Diego, but I came down as soon as I heard," He lied, knowing that he should just go home instead. But he was in too deep now.

He tried to summon the attitude of Billy. Narcissistic, ego-driven, and arrogant. He couldn't have the nurses having too good of opinions of the husband of Camila, in case Billy ever showed up.

Though it was late, Camila was awake, trying to soothe her newborn daughter. The baby in her arms was squirming and crying out.

She looked so lonely in that room. It was a moment Eddie would never forget; the way the light of the machines reflected on the walls, the bareness of the room, and how small and fragile Camila looked, begging her baby to go back to sleep.

"Mrs. Dunne, your husband's here," The nurse said, nudging Eddie in.

"My husband, but I thought-," Camila looked up, so hopeful that, at this moment, Eddie felt like the biggest dick alive. Of course, this ruse would have given her false hope. He hated how he was the one that now made her look like she wanted to start crying herself when she realized it wasn't Billy.

But, it seemed to be fine when, a moment later, relief broke over her face. He instantly understood; someone had come to join her. She wasn't completely alone. Someone was still here for her.

Eddie pressed a finger to his lips behind the nurse and winked, and after a beat, a wide grin spread over Camila's face.

"Oh, Billy, glad for you to finally arrive!" She crowed dramatically, "I've been dying to see you!"

"I ran every red light to get to you, my darling wife," Eddie said, coming over to kiss her forehead. She leaned into his touch, and when he looked back, the nurse was gone. The door had been shut behind the pair, allowing them to have their quiet family reunion.

"Eddie, what are you doing here?" Camila finally asked, her shoulders slumping. Eddie pulled a stool next to her, studying her face. Her eyes were rimmed red, and she looked exhausted. But completely beautiful, even after giving birth just hours before.

"I'm here for you," Eddie answered honestly, "Did Teddy-,"

"He called," Camila said flatly. It was obvious that Billy was a topic she did not want to talk about. Sure, Eddie didn't want to either. There were a million better topics than the man he hated most in the world.

"That's why I'm here. No one should have to do this alone." Eddie said.

"My mom's coming. But it will take her a bit to get here. But she'll be here…in a week," Camila furrowed her brows, "Or two. The baby came early."

"I know." Eddie was acutely aware of each month of her pregnancy, and while Julia wasn't in danger, this was an earlier date than anyone had thought. The hope had been that their tour would finish up nicely with a few days of buffer before Camila gave birth, but of course, the universe never worked right like that.

"She's coming, of course, she is," Camila said, sniffling, but at that moment, Eddie was sure she was secretly wishing that she was so sure of Billy's arrival.

"And I'll be here until she does, because as of tonight, my schedule's wide open," Eddie tried to pitch a joke, but it fell flat, "Unless you don't want me to be here-,"

"Stay," Camila whispered suddenly, wincing as though angry at herself for needing him, "Please, you're right…I don't want to be alone."

As though on cue, both looked down at the baby in her arms, the third 'person' with them, but not someone who could offer emotional support. The reason he'd crossed this first line in the first place. Later, he'd think that something or other would have eventually led him to make those leaps, but he was sure glad it was this little thing that forced it.

"What's her name?" Eddie whispered, not wanting to break the slumber the baby had fallen into like it was soothed to know her mother had someone to watch her.

"Julia," Camila whispered with a happy, drowsy smile, "I just love that name, and well, Billy isn't here to argue it."

"It's perfect," Eddie said, "Seriously. I mean it."

Camila tilted her head, "Do you want to hold her?"

Rule Three about birth: Ignoring doctors and nurses, the order in which a baby was held went like this - Mother and then Father and then everyone else.

Eddie swallowed. To accept felt like agreeing to some shift in their relationship, some path to light his way that hadn't been open before.

But if he said no, someone from the bad would be the second person to hold Julia tomorrow. It wouldn't be Billy for a long time. So, why shouldn't it be Eddie? The person who showed the fuck up here?

"Sure," Eddie said, "I've held my cousin's babies. I know how to do it." He said, "Support the head, close to your body," He whispered, echoing what he'd been told, trying to convince Camila he wasn't going to drop her newborn on the floor by accident.

Camila handed Julia over seamlessly.

Eddie hadn't ever really given thought to wanting kids before now. Too many drugs, sex, and rock-n-roll to think like that. Plus, he'd never met a girl (sans Camila) that he wanted to spend more than two nights max with.

But staring down at this tiny baby, this half-Mila person, he was overcome by not quite a roaring desire, but a sense of protection he'd never felt before. A duty, almost bestowed upon him, as though being the second person to hold her bequeathed him magic, or the universe was slotting him into where Billy should have been.

Even if Billy came back from his little drug-free holiday, Eddie knew he'd be there for Julia until his last breath. He loved this baby with the same intensity he loved Camila, even despite half of her genetic makeup being Billy.

Some part of him never wanted Billy to return. Sure, he liked the band, but this reality, this possibility, was much more appealing.

Julia didn't so much as even fuss, despite the change of hands.

"I think she likes you," Camila said with a relieved grin.

"I think I like her," Eddie laughed, almost giddy and totally unprepared. He hadn't even felt such deep paternal love with his cousin's kids.

God, if Billy had mustered the strength to come up here, he would have never left, because as it was, Eddie didn't know how he could tear himself away from either of these two girls right now.

Camila yawned.

"Tired?"

"No, no," Camila tried to wave it away, but at Eddie's raised eyebrow, she pressed her lips together into a thin line, "Yeah."

"Hey, you get some rest," Eddie said, "I've already proven I'm a competent babysitter, and I've been around a baby or two. I was supposed to be doing encores and partying in swanky bars until dawn, so I'm totally awake right now. And I'll just..be with her," Eddie promised, "Really, Camila, get some sleep. You deserve it."

"Just an hour," Camila said, but her words were already half slipping, so tired that by the time Eddie processed her words, Camila was already asleep.

There was a sofa against a window, near the bed, which Eddie would bet doubled as an uncomfortable cot for the father to sleep on. The stool he had pulled up was really not pleasant, so being extra careful and quiet, he situated himself on the sofa, sinking into the springs.

Julia continued to sleep in his arms, her head burrowing toward his chest for warmth.

He was glad he changed from his clothes from the tour that smelled like smoke and booze into something soft and clean.

"You know, I really love your mom, kid," He whispered, only speaking because he was sure Camila wouldn't register it because her snores filled the room with ambient noise, "And I think I'm gunna love you just as much."

A lie; he already did, but he didn't know how to admit it out loud.

Camila did not wake up in an hour, but Eddie sure as hell was not going to wake her. He tried setting Julia into her crib, but she started fussing as soon as human contact disappeared from her swaddle.

"Shh…shh…" Eddie winced, frantically looking over to Camila, praying Julia hadn't woken her bone-tired mother. If Camila woke up, she'd stay up the whole day, tending to Julia, or worrying.

Eddie wouldn't stand for that.

He found a spare blanket, though it was threadbare and pilling, and pulled it over himself as he held Julia to his chest. Her head nestled right underneath his chin, on his shoulders, and he found a way that also afforded him some comfort, halfway upright arms wrapped around Julia.

He didn't mean to fall asleep, but the heartbeat of Julia and the sounds of Camila sleeping peacefully lulled him as the adrenaline of the day wore off.

When the rest of the band would arrive at normal visit hours starting at 9 am, they would walk into Camila's hospital room and find the new mother deep in sleep, and her baby nowhere near her. This would cause a moment of quiet panic before Karen would quietly explain that sometimes doctors took babies away for tests and it was perfectly normal.

But, as they crowded into the room, looking for places to sit so as not to bother Camila, they'd find Eddie. Eddie, who they assumed was too heartsick to respond to their knocking on his bedroom door this morning, and would be avoiding this baby at all costs.

They'd stop dead, all wondering what they should say or do, when they would find Eddie also fast asleep, Julia drooling on his shirt, his large hands cupping her with such gentleness, and such a look of peace on his face that Warren would have to leave the room due to a nervous reaction of laughter, with Graham and Karen furiously shushing him and trying to push him out the door.

This startled Camila awake, who at first panicked as well when she saw Julia wasn't next to her until her eyes would scan the room and see Eddie, waking up from his sleep as well, blinking into the harsh lights of the hospital room. Her eyes would flicker back to Graham and Karen, whose eyes held unasked questions and worry, and Camila would not stand for any of that.

"Wasn't it nice of Eddie to come last night?" Camila asked, "Making sure I wasn't alone. What a good friend he was."

"Yeah," Karen recovered first, "He is."

As Graham and Warren collected their shock, Eddie woke up enough to catch a grateful, almost adoring smile from Camila. It was everything he'd ever wanted from her, and it was so brief, but it would keep him going for weeks later, just thinking back to that one moment.

"If it comes up, by the way, I'm her husband," Eddie said, handing Julia back to Camila, rubbing his neck from sleeping in such a strange position all night.

"But-," Graham started to protest, but Eddie narrowed his eyes.

"Last I heard, he won't be coming in to claim that for a while. And if he changes his mind, I'll step aside," Eddie said, crossing his arms, standing between Camila and the band, as though marking where his loyalties lay as of now and forever going forward.

"Will you?" Graham huffed, not a comment directed at Eddie, but an underhead remark.

"Stop it," Camila interjected, "He showed up."

Everyone winced because the rest of that thought didn't need to be said.

He showed up, but Billy didn't.

"Congrats," Karen said, deciding to move the conversation away from this. She gave one long side-eye to Eddie, but it was never brought up explicitly again, "What's this darling princess' name?"

"Julia," Camila said, running a finger down the bridge of her daughter's nose, "Meet your Aunt and Uncles."

Eddie stepped back to let the rest of the band coo and aww over the baby. He'd already gotten his chance.

As far as Eddie knew, they never told Billy about that first hospital visit, nor would bring up the circumstance that Eddie practically moved into the hotel room, under Billy's name, until Camila was released from the hospital.

After all, the Six's best skill was keeping secrets.