Many were surprised by the prowess Cadet Sorrengail showed her first year in the quadrant, especially with her underwhelming health.
I wished her progress kept going in that direction, but I am saddened to report that your hopes for your daughter were misplaced.
After the events of the previous War Games, I recommend her to contact Commander Chandlyr for retirement.
~ Memorandum from Professor Kaori to General Sorrengail

Chapter Two

Great.

Nothing I like more than having a Lilith Sorrengail lecture heading my way. The general has always been a stickler to the rules, and punctuality was like a virtue to her.

' "Not respecting an appointment's time shows a lack of respect for your superiors and their time." ' I chuckled at hearing Andarna's imitation of my mother. She did not hold the General in very high esteem. 'She hasn't shown me much to deserve MY respect.'

'Maybe' I replied, hurrying through the Tunnel. I was already half an hour late for that stupid informal weekly meeting. Making sure Lenore did not put herself into more danger was worth it, but I am not looking forward to be found yet again lacking in the eyes of my mother.

Also, I really wished her office was not up seven flights, I sigh arriving at the correct staircase at the end of the Administrating Building. Seeing all those stairs almost made me wish for the gauntlet again.

Almost.

Thank Dunne I was not out of breath once I reached her door, but my sore hip was screaming at me. Maybe I'll treat myself to a hot bath before falling headfirst in bed tonight… though that would not be in many more hours.

Colonel Aetos was not at his desk, guarding the front of my mother's office. One of his roles as her aide was to make sure she was undisturbed when working, and filter the unimportant requests of her time, the nuisances, or even her unruly children had seemed to take on most of his time. I used to sit by the window and read for hours in front of his desk while my mother dealt with matters more important most of my adolescent years.

How obedient I had been then.

I waited for a minute to make sure no one else was coming up the staircase and ensuing hallway, then I sat myself at Dain's father's desk.

I may never have such an opportunity to snoop for unredacted memos before they reached the general.

'What if you get caught?'

'I have papers to grade, and I can say I was looking for extra blank pages for notes to focus on for my next class'

It had become a weird ritual between Andarna and I to run through our alibis in the past 5 years. She comes up with some brilliant and weird ones. But sometimes, easy boring explanations can do the trick.

I made sure I was not making any noise as I opened different drawers in this desk. Only one was warded. Strange.

Breaking the enchantment would take too much time and probably would be noticeable. I really sucked at warding.

After… well after everything, I had Quinn, then later on Sawyer and Sloane ward my rooms for me as I never managed to manipulate that magic to work properly. I always said no one could excel at everything, but failing at wards hurt my ego more than my actual failing body when I could not keep pace with the others in my squad.

Especially when I could remember how great at it, he was…

I stopped my musings and even my breath caught when I stumbled across a rumpled sheet of paper by the waste basket. I could only see the word "Interrogation" from where it was discarded.

Odd.

Most sensible documents were immediately burned as to avoid falling into the wrong hands… like mine right now.

I bent down to retrieve it and immediately stood as I heard the doorknob from my mom's office turn.

Loudly, I dropped my bag by the desk and let myself fall into the comfy chair. No time to get grading papers out.

'What was that about not letting them see you out of breath?'

'Better that than seeing me snoop.'

"Violet!" Dain's dad voice rang in the outer office. I turned in his chair to face him.

"I'm sorry." I smile anxiously, " I saw your desk empty and thought I could have a minute to catch my breath."

The older man chuckled patiently as he moved around his own desk to pat me on my shoulder. He opened his mouth, ready with some fatherly concern, I'd bet, when another voice rang from behind us.

"You're late"

Warm as ever mom!

"We went over time with my third-year class going over-"

"Third years should not be spending their time in your little classes. They are about to be sent to outposts in a matter of weeks. Their time should be in the flight fields, not learning ancient history."

"Yes, General." I bit my tongue, as a snarky remark made itself front and center in my mind. Anything to avoid making them curious about the holes and contradictions in our history!

My mother and I stared at each other. Going along with her plans and ideas were always the easiest option when dealing with Lilith Sorrengail and to this day, she still saw me as a weakly scribe posing as rider in black.

Never mind she put me in this path herself.

No. That is not true.

My mother took my choice away from me on Conscription Day, but it was MY choice to stay. It was MY choice to tackle the Gauntlet MY way. It was MY choice to fight in Resson and it was MY choice not to retire once I lost him.

Swallowing the last and most painful admission, I lowered my eyes. Let her and all the others think me weak, tame and powerless. Let them underestimate me. My ego can take it.

'That also makes you more dangerous'

I smiled through the bond to Andarna. Hopefully her teenage years were almost over as her point was calmer than what I expected. Not even a year ago she would have encouraged me to push my mother down the flight of stairs to see her crawl them back up to see who was truly weaker.

"Well?" Mom said tapping her foot. "Get in there." She moved away from the door frame to step into her office.

I had long since stopped looking at details in this room. Nothing ever changed. A map on the left, tidy shelves of books behind the desk, a cart full of reports and manuscripts by the door and a lone hailripple fern plant by the window. The plant was a gift from dad from one of his expeditions when we were little. I couldn't recall where exactly he had picked it up, but he had it with him for weeks before coming home and giving it to my mother, a colonel at the time. This plant used to fascinate me because it could predict a change in temperature and atmospheric pressure by the color and pattern of its leaves. I had seen it develop icy tendrils through its leaves hours before a bad snowstorm when I was 12. Honestly the perfect gift for a woman whose signet was to wield the weather.

I was so preoccupied with memories of dad and the plant that I had not noticed the other presence in the room.

"Vi."

I knew that smile as well as I knew my own. His beard had grown since the last time I saw him, but Dain was the same as always in every other regards. Sitting straight with an eyebrow raised in a perfectly neat and pressed uniform.

"Dain," I greeted him as enthusiastically as I could. He did not rise from his seat, so I went to him and kissed his bearded cheek politely.

I took the seat next to his and faced my mother. I would catch up with him regardless later, so I might as well deal with her first.

She had taken her seat behind her desk already and had her nose in some expense report. She did not even look up before she started speaking.

"General Melgren and 10 others leadership officials will be arriving next week."

What?

"For the War Games?" I knew it was a stupid reply but i needed to know more about such a large group of official meeting here. Asking directly would only get me a 'above your station, lieutenant' but playing the fool could give me more indirect information.

"Of course not, Violet." My mother eyes finally left her documents to stare me down. Her eyes lingered on my hair. Again. Like usual.

I had succumbed to her demands a year ago and had cut my then waist length hair just above my shoulders to rid myself of those incriminating silver ends, her greatest shame. Only for my hair to almost fully turn silver in a matter of weeks. Barely my roots showed my original brown hair now.

I might let my hair grow again in the future but for now, i kept the short style, which could not be braided back as a silent act of defiance against her.

"There has been some development in the past few years with our border conflicts with the gryphons." I nodded along her propagandist history. Gryphons. Sure. They were the real problem… "some infantry generals want to meet to discuss the potentialities of modifying our outposts positions and how they are to be manned."

A full restructuring of Navarre's military.

Damn.

I mean, it was time for them to realize the way they were doing things was not viable but still, it could be a step in the correct direction. Or a chance to place key players- I stopped my train of thoughts. This room was too dangerous for strategy. I reinforced my shields and focused solely on the words said.

"We are producing less riders than ever" Dain joined the conversation, "and we are losing our numbers too quickly even after they graduate."

I was weirdly taking offense on that. "We cannot control how many dragons are willing to bond." We had almost 60 unbonded riders this year which would be repeating their first year in hope of securing a dragon during Threshing. "And if you dare insinuate that us, teachers, are not preparing our cadets well enough-"

"That wasn't what I was saying Vi."

"And we could prepare them more if they did not spend over half their third year manning empty midland posts." I kept going, ignoring Dain's response.

"This is why I need you to keep quiet when the others arrive, Lieutenant Sorrengail." My mother's voice did not rise, quite the opposite as the room got a tad chillier. The emphasis on my rank was not lost on anyone. I spared a glance at the fern whose leaves were quickly turning a pale blue.

I kept looking at my father's fern refusing to meet her gaze like I knew she wanted.

Lilith sighed and I finally turn to face her. She has her fingers crossed under her nose as she leans forward on her elbow, her cold brown eyes fixed on me. "Many discussions will happen in the coming weeks. I am warning you that a lot of the leadership will be in attendance to present their arguments as there is some..." She dipped her head to the left, searching for words "debates on how to proceed." She finally finishes after a pause.

Debates. Arguments. Leadership.

Shit!

This could be my window.

"To avoid riling the aristocracy-" Lilith continues, rolling her eyes. My mother despises the nobles, a sentiment shared by most riders who do not accept having power given to you because of the circumstances of your birth and not because you earned it. "- the talks will happen in Basgiath and not Calldyr. They will happen the day after Unification Day since most will be in attendance already for the party and will last until the end of the War Games since the college will be mostly empty during that time."

Their timeline made sense but did not leave me with much time to prepare. Hopefully, others were already aware and had started their own preparations.

'Do you need me to fly to Calldyr tonight?'

'We'll see.'

"Brigadier General Mordane also brought forth that without Cadets to oversee, you teachers could be present." Dain chimed in. Veyra Mordane had been in the same squad as my brother, Brennan. I did not know much of the beautiful red-head until Dain had been assigned to her. Since then, there was not much I did not know of the tall, poised and disciplined rider. She leads her command with quiet authority but was a strict enforcer of Navarran's laws. Her name was often whispered around as someone destined to become a General like my mother.

"Present, but silent." My mother interjected before I could open my mouth.

Dain spared her a glance before continuing. "She feels like any changes made to the riots should be incorporated to the Cadets as soon as they arrive in the Quadrant to fasten change."

"What changes does she think will need to happen?" I ask, turning in my seat to face Dain.

"That will be discussed in a few weeks between Leadership."

My mother rises from her seat, concluding the conversation. A conversation I will bring back up with Dain once we are in our quarters. Something he knows and dreads judging by the look he sends my way.

"You, Violet, will be privileged enough to participate in some of the discussions and I better not hear you insist on attending more meetings than those you should be privy too. Am I understood."

Understood, sure. Obeyed… I bit down my reply as I nod to the General.

Feeling like I had been dismissed, I also rise from my seat, Dain following suit. I turn to leave my mother's office, thanking the gods my mother did not broach the subject of my health this time.

"Before you leave," shit, I spoke too soon. I turn to my mother who is facing her office's window, looking far over the mountain range surrounding Basgiath. "Winifred has told me you haven't seen her this week."

"I haven't." I reply flatly.

My mother turns to face me, face unreadable. "Why?"

"Because I do not need her help."

"Are your tremors gone?"

I raise my left hand in front of me at shoulder level. After a second, it starts to shake. I see Dain in the corner of my eye come closer to me, but my gaze is fixed ahead on my mother. She tsked under her breath, staring at my trembling digits.

I don't move my eyes from her disapproving face as I drop my left hand and in the space of a breath, take the dagger from my hip sheath and send it flying at the target she keeps in the corner of her room. Bullseye.

"It's been 5 years. I learned to live with my deficiencies and no amount of healing or tonic is going to fix me more than what you see. I have accepted that." Even if you haven't, I thought to myself.

"We had an agreement. You were to see Winifred and the healers every week or I would push for your retirement, Violet."

"We made that agreement when I was a second-year Cadet, General." I insist on her title. "And the agreement was that I would see Winifred at least once a week during my time in the Quadrant."

"You are STILL in the quadrant." My mother walked to the training target and ripped my dagger from it.

"I am willing to rejoin my squad in Elsum or accept any other assignment. Just as willing if not more than I was on my graduation day, where YOU overrode my assignment to keep me here." A storm was brewing outside, but even thunder would not drown out our raised voices. Hopefully she had erected a sound barrier on her office or Dain's father might be privy to yet another Sorrengail argument.

"A rider who cannot fly has no place in the riot. You should have retired after your first year but I leniently let you finish your training. However, I will not endanger any rider by assigning you to an outpost."

It was an old argument between us now. One we regularly had over the past 3 years. And one I had to let her win again.

I lowered my voice and walked up to her. I had to crane my neck to see her face, but I would not let my height belittle my fight.

"I was hurt, badly. And my convalescence was less than ideal." She let out an uncharacteristically snort. "And I will agree with you that retirement could have been a good option. At the time."

I reached her hand and took my dagger back. "But I did not retire. I endured. I learned. I adapted. I will never be a traditional rider, but I. AM. A. RIDER."

I took a step back and raised my chin in defiance. "I'll respect my superiors and my post here as a History Professor. But at some point, you will need to respect my choices. And when I'll be appointed to a riot outside Basgiath, I will take it and fly with my fellow riders. Damned scars, tremors and all."

"What command would want a rider with a useless signet like yours."

"Captain Hollis in Rathmere thinks my illusions would complement her signet quite well."

"Your dragon cannot fly to Rathmere, let alone patrol the mountain range." She scoffs

While I grew immune of others' dismissal of my skills, my mother has no rights to criticize any dragon, especially not Andarna who risked everything for me.

"Andarna-"

"Is no Tairn."

The growing storm outside had finally reached us, and rain pelted the windowpanes. I was staring straight in the eyes of my mother. No. Of this woman who held no motherly affection for me nor any humane respect either.

I could feel spasms of despair and hurt shock me to my very being and it took all I had to keep my face impassive and not break into tears.

'Breathe.'

I could feel Andarna open our bond deeper to take on my pain as she guided my very breath. I only needed to keep it together until I could break down in my private quarters.

I took one more breath before answering. "Andarna and I can fly and can hold our own."

"If you could hold your own, Violet, you would not have let Tairn die and disrespected his legacy by outliving your dragon."