Galinda's head feels heavy even as she lifts it quickly, looking to her left where she knows Elphaba is sitting, only to her surprise...she isn't there.
Turning to her right, she quickly looks for Fiyero because surely Fiyero will know where she could have gone.
Her eyes widen slightly and her brow furrows as she realizes he isn't beside her either.
Neither one of them is next to her.
Galinda's heart aches as she puts two and two together as her eyes flit over towards the 'cage' that housed the tiny lion cub. The cage that sits open and empty in the middle of their classroom.
Galinda's breath catches as she tries to calm herself, her hands clasping each other as her thumb rubs the flesh between her index and thumb of her other hand, self-soothing as her mind races with thoughts on Elphaba's whereabouts, hoping she's okay and not doing anything too dangerous or silly.
But at least she'll have Fiyero with her.
The thought leaves a slightly acrid taste in her mouth.
Why him?
Why not me?
Why Fiyero?
Galinda doesn't know whether or not she absorbed any information, if there was any information to be absorbed, that was delivered after everyone awoke in that classroom. All she knows is she spends the whole time wondering whether or not Elphaba will be coming back any time soon.
Galinda gathers her own belongings and carefully picks up Elphaba's as she tries to put on a very brave face in light of all of the questions had by the students that were also left behind.
Left behind.
Her thoughts stutter to a stop at that.
Left behind.
Elphie left me behind.
Galinda shakes her head resolutely, dispelling those hideoteousthoughts. Or trying to, at the very least.
Elphie wouldn't.
Not on purpose.
She wouldn't do that.
Maybe she just didn't know. She didn't know Galinda was willing and able to help her. Always. Elphie simply didn't know she would do anything to help her, in any way that she can. In fact, she would also help her in ways she can't, just to prove how much she can help.
Left behind.
Left behind.
Galinda hurriedly makes her journey to their room and breathes deeply once she is safely behind closed doors.
Her ears are ringing slightly and her grip on their shared belonging is so tight. She inhales again, her eyes shut tight as she counts before exhaling. She repeats this a couple of times before she's fully aware of the fact that she's inhaling the scent of home.
Elphaba's love for the scent of Quoxwood is endearing and Galinda is most certainly quite fond of it as well. Moreso now than she'd ever been before meeting the other woman.
Galinda carefully walks over to put Elphaba's belongings away before turning to her own and stiltedly makes her way towards her dresser to get ready for the rest of her day devoid of Elphaba. And Fiyero.
She tries. She most ardently tries not to dwell on the pitiful feelings she's been fighting ever since Dr. Dillamond's class.
The blonde's eyes fill up with unshed tears against her will and she's confusified as to their appearance. Surely her body knows better than to take her by surprise like this. Surely her body is aware of how hard she's telling it not to break down and spiral. Elphaba will be back, before she even knows it, there really isn't a reason to cry over something that is going to be resolved.
The shuddering breath she takes as she tries to quell her tears say otherwise. The quake taking over her body nearly drops her to her knees in her despair.
Left behind.
Left behind.
Left behind.
Galinda's tears come in forcefully now and she has no means to stop them on her own. As her knees continue to shake, and the rest of her body trembles, her legs give way as she crumples to the ground, her sight blurry with tears. Her hands claw at each other, aching to grasp onto Elphaba, to ground herself in some way, to gather Elphaba close and express to her that Galinda isn't useless, that she can help, that she wants to help, that she can be helpful and a person someone can lean on, she's someone that Elphie can lean on, and utilize and draw strength from, someone worth not leaving behind.
Left behind.
Left behind.
Left behind.
The choked sobs escaping Galinda fall unacknowledged as Galinda rocks on the floor, at the foot of her bed, her head bent, a vision of repentance, sorrow and regret, her shoulders hunched up and she's shaking from the force of her mournfulness.
It's many a minute before her tears dry and all she's left with is a breathlessness and thirst, her breaths shaky and short as she tries to curb the onset of more tears. Galinda grips her own hands tightly and squeezes her eyes shut, her thumb rubbing the palm of one hand hard before switching and doing the same with the other. Her mind is an endless swirl of cacophonous turmoil, flitting from one thought to the other, never pausing long enough for her to catch her breath before moving to a different, even more gutting, thought. But one remains steadfast and ever present.
Left behind.
Left behind.
Left behind.
Galinda's body aches where she sits, exhaustion crashing through her like a tidal wave, her eyes burn behind her still tightly clamped shut eyelids, her hands stuck in her own vice-grip.
She feels a feather-light touch ghost against her cheek and she gasps as she hurriedly opens her eyes, and she's filled with even more disappointment when there's, still, no one there. Her chest tightens and she bites her lip to try and stifle the sob that builds as she realizes that Elphaba hadn't returned yet.
The ghost of a touch traces against her cheek again and a barely there breeze wisps past her, gently tousling her hair as it swirls by, but Galinda doesn't notice, her ears have picked up on movement outside of their window.
She swallows hard and resolutely decides to get up and do better. She will not wallow. She is Galinda Upland, and she is good.
Good.
Useful.
Wanted.
Galinda takes a steadying breath as she carefully stands back up, deciding to change out of her current outfit seeing as it brought her such dreadful sorrow and she doesn't want to dwell on it any longer. Maybe, she thinks to herself, she'll put it in the back of her closet and give it some time before she wears it again.
Managing to put herself together again, Galinda makes her way down and out to the courtyard, sensing that, by now, they must have returned, surely they won't be out way past dark. Surely Elphaba knows better than to be out too late what with all the strange and terrifying things happening all around Oz.
Fiyero is with her.
Fiyero will keep her safe.
Fiyero will bring her back.
Galinda's mantra helps keep her feet moving as she strides even faster towards the main entrance.
She sees him and she stumbles before catching herself.
Fiyero.
But.
Fiyero?
Her feet keep her moving even faster towards him, her eyes darting everywhere but not finding her.
Elphaba.
Where is Elphaba?
She throws her arms around his neck, "Where is she?" she asks breathlessly into his shoulder, pulling away to look at his face, eyes searching his, pleading.
Fiyero looks at her guiltily as he lifts a shoulder in a half shrug, "She can take care of herself, Galinda."
Galinda clenches her jaw and says nothing, her mind reeling, her palms sweating as she aches to rub them together. She takes a breath and counts to ten.
Then does it again.
And again. Galinda is not saying a word as their friends come up to them, Boq and Nessa easily take on the mantle of keeping up conversation.
Galinda's hand finds Fiyero's and she tugs him along behind her, away from the main area in the courtyard, hoping, though she knows better, that Fiyero is simply jesting and that Elphaba is already on her way to their suite.
Why Fiyero?
Galinda shakes her head as soon as the question pops into her mind, refusing to allow herself to think about anything at the moment lest she allows herself to be consumed as she had a while ago.
They walk towards the cafeteria and Fiyero is more than happy to fill his plate, and his stomach, as he regales the table with his adventure cryptically and boisterously enough to allow Galinda to sit in silence, eyes continuing to dart towards the doors, hoping, waiting, for Elphaba to come walking in.
Elphaba does not walk in.
Elphaba does not come back to their room either. Not while Galinda is awake. And Galinda stayed awake for quite some time.
The blonde sullenly got ready to sleep, in absolute silence, lest she miss Elphaba's return, her eyes heavier than ever. Which makes her decision to wait up for Elphaba harder than she'd care to admit.
Galinda climbs into bed, her covers wrapped tight around her as she sits up against her mountain of pillows, a low lit lamp turned on at her bedside, emitting just enough light to allow Elphaba to see her way through the room.
Galinda doesn't know when she fell asleep, only that she did because her eyes are heavy like they were the day before as she begins to wake up, her neck stiff and her throat dry.
The first thing Galinda sees is that Elphaba is here.
Elphaba is here and is sleeping, soundly, in her bed, hair down and draped around her head in a halo, her mouth slightly ajar as she breathes in and out.
Galinda covers her mouth to stop the squeak from escaping and possibly waking her roommate, her eyes blink rapidly as she battles against the tears again.
Galinda jumps out of bed quietly, her robe is thrown on before she hastily runs to the kitchens to gather some food and coffee, knowing Elphaba has not eaten since the day before.
The curious looks from other students don't register to Galinda as she is single-focused and determined to get back quickly before Elphaba has a chance to wake up.
'Is that Galinda?'
'She's not in her heels!'
'Her make-up isn't done.'
'Is she alright?'
Galinda, who had made quick friends with the kitchen staff, is in and out in less than a clock-tick and the murmurs and curious looks continue to follow her on her way back to their suite, but she's even less inclined to notice now that her hands are full of sustenance for Elphaba.
Galinda balances the tray as she quietly re-enters their room, her eyes quickly checking to make sure Elphaba is asleep before clicking the door shut and tiptoeing towards the spot they've designated for snacks and breakfast when they decide they don't want to socialize with others.
Galinda clears some more space so that when she grabs another blanket she has the space to toss it when they've no use for it, before she shuffles over towards her sleeping roommate.
Her lips quirk as she notes Elphaba's breathing is different and is herself fighting a small smile on her lips.
"Are you going to keep sleeping or are you going to come join me in having some breakfast?" Galinda asks quietly, her fingers lightly dancing across Elphaba's brow, tapping on her nose as she finishes.
Elphaba's eyes flutter open as she chuckles lowly, a slow smile appearing on her face, "I might still be resting if not for the delectable smell of food making it hard to do so."
Galinda grins at her easily, thumb brushing against her cheek, "Are you still tired?" Her eyes search Elphaba's, earnest and open.
Elphaba shakes her head slightly, a flash of guilt flickers across her face, "No, not really. But I am hungry." She admits sheepishly, as her stomach gives a quiet grumble in agreement.
Galinda bites her lip to stop from outright laughing as she steps back and allows the other woman to get up and throw on her own robe, "Remind me to always ensure we are well equipped to feed The Beast."
Elphaba rolls her eyes good-naturedly as she chuckles, "Like you need any reminder of that, my sweet."
The room stops.
Galinda's cheeks pink as Elphaba's cheeks darken in a blush.
Elphaba refuses to meet Galinda's eyes and Galinda can do nothing but blink in surprised delight.
"I like that," Galinda finds herself saying, her fingers dancing along the hem of her robe, eyes flicking from the food spread before them to Elphaba, a gentle smile on her face, enjoying the feeling that the term of endearment fills her with.
"You do?" Elphaba asks, the hint of astonishment not lost on Galinda.
The blonde nods her head as she gently grasps Elphaba's hand as she tugs her to sit beside her, "I do, yes. I like that I'm your sweet. That you see me as such."
Elphaba grins at her charmingly, giving her hand a gentle squeeze, "There's no real other way to see you."
Galinda squeals in delight and Elphaba feels her heart skip a beat in her chest, Galinda's smile infectious and fulfilling.
Galinda hums to herself as she picks up a slice of toast and spreads butter and then applies a layer of apricot jam before graciously offering it to Elphaba, "For my sweet," she says with a dimpled smile, delighting over the blush Elphaba now sports.
Their morning is as regular as all others and it's because of this that Galinda can't find it in herself to bring up the lion cub incident. Not yet. Not when Elphaba is here and is well and is being so sweet and not at all making it appear as if she thinks Galinda is incapable.
No. Galinda will wait to speak to her, to convince her that she is ready and willing to be there for her, to convince her that she can be trusted, to show her that she can be chosen and not have that decision be a regret.
The opportunity doesn't reveal itself until a few days later, while they both are studying sorcery together to get ahead of some of their schoolwork.
Galinda's wand tinks against the table as she waves it towards the damnable coin that just will not float.
Elphaba, Galinda notes, has just walked in.
Galinda sighs as the stubborn coin in front of her stubbornly sits there, stubbornly refusing to float, despite her best efforts.
"I didn't expect magic to be so hard," Galinda laments morosely, gently placing her hands in her lap as she watches Elphaba remove her coat and gathers her things before she takes a seat on the couch, notebook opened and pen already in hand.
"Maybe," Elphaba's tone is warm as she softly says, "it's harder for you to make magic because things have been kind of easy for you. So you don't need it."
Galinda hums as she faces the stubborn coin again, turning over the words in her mind, having never really thought of it that way before.
Maybe.
She looks towards Elphaba once again, and a small smile ghosts across her features as she gives herself a nod, making up her mind that this was as good a time as any to speak to Elphaba about the topic that's been weighing on her so heavily. Even though her heart is beating thunderously in her chest. Even though her hands shake at the thoughts of what Elphaba's response will be. Even though she can't actually be certain Elphaba won't laugh at her. Even though-
"Elphie," Galinda starts before she works herself up and out of saying anything, "the other day when everyone fell asleep," she pauses just a moment before continuing on softly, gently, as if worried she'll scare Elphaba away with her words.
Galinda's eyes roam over Elphaba's demeanor, hoping Elphaba understands her need to speak about this. Elphaba's hand stalls for just a breath before resuming her writing though a tad bit more stiltedly than before.
Galinda continues, "When I woke up and the lion cub was gone...so were you and Fiyero."
Elphaba lifts her head and looks towards Galinda as she shakes her head slightly, "Fiyero just helped me rescue the cub." She turns back to her notebook and resumes her note taking.
Galinda takes a breath and nods, bites her lip before forging on, determined to try and get Elphaba to understand. She stands up and makes her way closer to Elphaba. She kneels onto the couch and sits on her legs, her hand reaches out and holds onto the back of the couch as she says,"Right. But..." she stops for a moment, eyes darting away from Elphaba's form as she wrestles with not losing her nerve or the words she's trying to say.
She swallows before continuing, "I would have helped you...if you needed someone." Galinda pauses again, eyes never leaving Elphaba's form as she says, "You could have picked me."
And Galinda waits.
She's quiet and still and undoubtedly feeling adrift on the inside as the silence keeps on. Her heart in her throat, her ears ring as her mind ramps up the cacophony from before. Her want to reach out to Elphaba, to ground herself, is so strong, but she can't. She won't. She's going to let her have her space. Galinda is going to give her space, if that is what she desires and she can and will do so, if that is what she wants.
Galinda tries to swallow, her mouth suddenly so very dry as she sees Elphaba put away her notebook and pen. She watches Elphaba get up, turn and mirror her position on the couch, closer to her. Elphaba faces her and says clearly, and oh so gently, "I'm sorry."
Galinda leans in just that tiny little bit more as she hears this, her eyes boring into Elphaba's as she meets her gaze unabashedly, as she continues, "It was a mistake."
Galinda can hardly believe how quickly, how easily, the roaring tidal waves of sound quietens down at those words, at Elphaba's sincerity.
Elphaba reaches out and gently takes Galinda's hand, her own warm hands a distinct contrast to Galinda's rather cold ones, and Galinda is alight with relief at having this contact, "I won't leave you behind again."
Elphaba's eyes never leave Galinda's for a moment as she says all of this, her lips turning up in a warm smile as she squeezes Galinda's hand, watching as the words register. And Galinda can do nothing but allow the words and the actions pour over her, a sated hum escapes her and her body does a gentle wiggle as her dimpled smile returns, eyes fluttering shut in relief at not being ridiculed for this.
I won't leave you behind again.
Her brain loops those words over and over, as the rest of her body aches to be able to physically manifest those words so she can hold onto them and never let them go.
"Were you...thinking of this all this time?" Elphaba asks gently a short time later, her fingers tracing over Galinda's fingers absentmindedly as they sit comfortably on the couch still.
Galinda scoots a little closer, heart thudding in her chest as she stiffly nods once, "Yes, but only a little."
Elphaba quirks an eyebrow but says nothing and Galinda sighs as she squeezes Elphaba's hand, "Okay, maybe more than that."
Elphaba remains silent and Galinda sighs and acquiesces, "Alright, fine, constantly."
Not being able to withstand whatever look may be on its way, Galinda buries herself into Elphaba's side and hides her face. Elphaba chuckles warmly as she adjusts to better accommodate Galinda, and she starts the soothingly rub Galinda's back, "Why have you waited this long to say anything, my sweet?"
Galinda blushes profusely at the term of endearment and the feeling of Elphaba rubbing her back as she murmurs in response, "I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous. Or most atrociously needy."
Elphaba hums, and Galinda feels the other woman's hand rest against the center of her back, her nails now lightly scratching her back through her clothing, "I could never think that, not in a negative way at least."
Galinda shivers at the delightful feeling of having Elphaba speak to her like this, so openly, so unguarded. The added bonus of having her back scratched just the way she likes is also rather delightful.
Elphaba quirks her lips as she senses Galinda fully relaxes against her, her shoulders fall and her breathing slows and she knows Galinda is entirely herself at this moment.
"I fear you've gotten yourself a rather bothersome companion, one that is quite impossible to be rid of," Elphaba drawls gently as she continues her ministrations across Galinda's back, her nails drawing languid patterns against her as she breathes evenly.
Galinda hums against her, her mind blissfully content, "I shan't even begin to attempt to try to rid myself of you, Elphie. I fear you've quite solidly made myself a permanent fixture in your life the moment you appeared."
Elphaba chuckles as she playfully scratches the back of Galinda's neck, knowing it would make her squeak, "I believe you mean the moment I gave you a backscratch."
Galinda shrieks and quickly squirms away from any more tickling as Elphaba just laughs. Galinda soon joins her, unable to keep from doing so.
Elphaba, of her own volition, reaches out for Galinda once more and the blonde eagerly snuggles into her arms, hugging her close.
"I promise, you know." Elphaba murmurs against Galinda's temple.
"Promise what?" Galinda questions softly, her thumb rubbing against Elphaba's side, waiting for her response.
"I promise I'm not ever leaving you behind." Elphaba says, her voice soft but determined.
Galinda fights the tears that start to accumulate in her eyes, "Thank you," is all she manages to whisper before she bites her tongue so as not to give away her emotional response to this moment.
Galinda should know better though. There's no hiding from Elphaba.
"What is it?" Elphaba asks, her voice laced with worry, pulling back to get a look at the blonde in her arms, her eyes worried as she sees the state of Galinda, "What's the matter? Did I hurt you?"
Galinda is quick to shake her head at that, "No, no Elphie, no you didn't hurt me. I-you have no idea just how good it feels to hear that, that's all. I'm so glad. You- I'm just so glad." Her voice trembles as she speaks and her vision is blurry but she can make out the slight confusion and unsureness on Elphaba's face.
Galinda uses one of her hands to wipe away her tears while her other holds Elphaba's securely, "You're my very best friend Elphie. You're..." she trails off, before she shakes her head seemingly to gather her thoughts before she meets Elphaba's eyes again and simply repeats, "You're my best friend."
Elphaba nods her head and squeezes Galinda's hand, "And you're mine."
Galinda gives her a watery smile and nods.
Yours.