Clash

by keoo19

It was supposed to be an easy escort mission. But what was easy when you had a hotheaded Kunoichi and a stoic Ninja? Especially when their names are none other than Haruno Sakura and Hatake Kakashi. KakaSaku, Slight SasuSaku. Rated M for Language & Content.

24. Avoidance

Avoidance

---

"Full disclosure, this is going to hurt like a bitch."

"I'm sure I can take it."

"And you'll probably be sick for a couple of days while your body tries to readjust to chakra flowing through its channels. Your full strength will come back in stages. I'm sure it will be back before we return home. It hasn't been long, but it's like trying to get water to push through old pipes—"

"Sasuke, just get on with it."

"Okay, you've been warned." She huffed and crossed her arms. While she was in the eye of the storm, one of her first requests was to get her chakra unsealed. Of course, Sasuke was hesitant, seeing as though Sakura could just be asking so she could have the means and full power to inflict pain on him. Her temporary placidity being a ruse to get what she wanted. But truthfully, she just hasn't felt right. Her limbs have been heavy, she's been super slow, and she's felt like she's lost her sixth sense. Better to go through the side effects now versus waiting until they were back home and back in the fight. She would hate to be a sitting duck.

She again had her head in his lap. He was seated against the headboard and she was laying between his legs. He lightly cupped her face with his hands.

"You ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

"Okay, look at me." She looked back up at him, and in a moment his Sharingan flashed back at her. Instantly her body was on fire as she felt her chakra trying to push itself through her channels, like water trying to flow through stone. She gritted her teeth and gripped Sasuke's legs that were situated on either side of her. "Breathe, Sakura." He whispered trying to coax her. Her heart was beating erratically fast; the pulsing in her ears deafening her as tears left her eyes.

"I—" She panted before squeezing her eyes shut so tightly, colorful circles started to dance behind her lids. She bit down on her lip, hard, a whimper rising in her throat. She could swear she tasted blood. And her body was hot; she felt sweat start to bead on her forehead and drip down her back.

"Breathe, Sakura!" He said more firmly. In that moment, she released her lip and gasped for air. He held on tightly to her face to keep her still as her body started to shake. More tears fell from her eyes and down into her ears. Now it felt as if a thousand needles were prickling her skin. "Try to summon your healing chakra." She closed her eyes again and willed her chakra to move. Her body was still convulsing just not as violently, as she started to glow green. She forced her breathing into short, steady, pants.

"Sasuke, I—" Instantly she felt saliva build up into her mouth. She shot up and ran to the bathroom, throwing herself against the porcelain bowl. Her body heaved violently as she emptied the contents of her stomach until she was dry-heaving and nothing was left but bile. She slid unceremoniously to the floor, her eyes closed and her head laid against the cool, ceramic toilet. The stickiness of her sweat clung from her skin to the object. She placed a hand on her stomach.

"I told you," Sasuke whispered as he leaned against the door jamb. She shook her head.

"Not the time, Uchiha." She rasped. "Water please." He left the room and returned with a glass of water. He knelt beside her, one hand holding the back of her neck and the other tilting the water into her throat. "Thank—" As soon as it reached her stomach it came back up, almost missing the toilet. Sasuke sighed.

"I—"

"Save it." She said weakly with her hand up and her face positioned inside the bowl. "Can you…can you get Kakashi?" She whispered. He furrowed his eyebrows before nodding. "Thank you." Then he was gone.

She kept reminding herself it was better to face the repercussions now versus later when they got back to Konoha, but that thought was heavily shrouded by her light-headedness, and her throwing up nothing but air every other minute. And she could barely get through this first session.

What did Sasuke do to her?

Okay, so Kakashi did bring up the fact that she was fist-happy. That is usually the answer for her emotional distress and it shouldn't be, but that would be a problem for later. And no, like Sasuke so nicely articulated, she could not remember how much power she put into her fist. But he was a whole two heads taller than her! There were so many other ways he could've subdued her versus this. Evidently, every action had a consequence and this was hers.

She was supposed to dance at the Kansai tomorrow night but had no idea how she would manage, depending on how long it took for this feeling to wane. She was sure Kakashi couldn't do anything for her either, but she definitely wouldn't mind his company. He hasn't said so much of a word to her since he came back from speaking with her Shishou, and that was odd considering Kakashi always had a mouthful. At least with her.

Honestly, it kind of felt like he was avoiding her. It's only been a day and a half, but he didn't linger in the room with them for too long, and if there was ever a time it seemed like the two of them would be left alone together, he respectfully excused himself. Like he had something much more important to take care of. Which she knew could've only consisted of watching porn and reading smut.

This made her frown. Especially since this time, she was absolutely positive she did nothing to him. If anything, it should be him, apologizing to her, again, for the stunt he pulled at the diner. But that's why she told him to forget it, because Kami knows they didn't need anything else to be at odds about. She just missed him. And while everything was "alright" between her and Sasuke again, he was still a man of very few words. And he was acting…weird. Not weird unlike anything she's ever seen before, but Sasuke weird when he wanted something. He's been cuddling her in her sleep, he offered to do her hair, he even made breakfast this morning. She didn't know what the hell the Uchiha was up to, but she figured she'd better get down to it before she was blindsided.

Again.

"Sakura?" She heard a voice call. She lifted her head slightly from the toilet seat, one arm still loosely slung along the rim.

"Naruto? Where's Kakashi?" She asked as her two teammates appeared in front of her. Naruto scratched his head awkwardly.

"Eh, he said he was awfully busy." He responded nervously. She frowned.

"Awfully busy doing what?" She grumbled. Naruto shifted on his feet and she could tell by his demeanor the boy did not want to get into the middle of their mess. "Did you tell him I wasn't feeling well?" She asked, throwing a pointed look at Sasuke, who then, rolled his eyes in return.

"Yes of course, I told him you've fallen ill. I used every trick in the book to try and get your knight to come save his damsel." He retorted sarcastically before heading to the living room. It was her turn to roll her eyes. She looked back to Naruto who only shrugged his shoulders.

He was definitely avoiding her. But why.

With a sigh, she let her head fall back on the toilet.

"Look, we don't need him, Sakura." Naruto said as he crouched beside her, running his hands through her hair affectionately. "Besides. I have a huge surprise for you today."

"Surprise?" She asked, her voice echoing inside of the toilet bowl. "Can we save it for when I feel a little better?" He stood.

"Nope. Get your wits about you and get dressed. We're leaving the Village."

---

"Sensei,"

"Hm?"

"What are you reading?"

"Porn."

"But you're not."

"I'm sorry?"

"You haven't turned a page in an hour."

"How would you know?"

"I can hear. And I haven't heard you turn a page."

"Ah…Naruto?"

"Hm?

"Mind your fucking business." The boy in question frowned as Kakashi threw him a pointed look, and then turned a page. Naruto sighed.

"I'm just saying if you have something going on, feel free to vent to me." Kakashi raised an eyebrow in response.

"And what could I possibly have going on?" Naruto turned away from the TV and faced the Copy-Nin, who was currently situated on the other side of the couch.

"You and Sakura." Kakashi ignored him and went back to his book.

"There's nothing going on between me and Sakura." Naruto tried to shift closer, which earned him a glare from Kakashi, then he sighed again.

"That's the point—you've been avoiding her. It's rather obvious if you ask me."

"I haven't been—" Kakashi stopped himself. He definitely didn't mind being a pathological liar. That was a part of his MO. But why exactly was he avoiding Sakura?

Oh right. Because his Hokage sent him on a bullshit mission to help his bipolar student and his mental abuser student get back together. Honestly, those adjectives were synonymous with the either one of them.

The truth is, he's been uneasy around her since her declaration, and even more so after he found out the real reason behind this "vacation." He wanted no parts; especially since this was just going to blow up in all of their faces. He would rather be far, far away from the blast radius if he could help it. Sakura's tactical mind was far superior to his, but even she wouldn't be able to see this coming. And what then? She finds out that she's supposed to single-handedly restore the Uchiha clan with her womb, she'll probably try to defect, enlisting the help of none other than Kakashi himself, and somewhere along the way, because it was just his luck, she'd find out that he actually knew about it all along. Cue mental breakdown, cue the end of their friendship. Again.

Or, he could try and be a good friend, betray the trust of the Hokage, tell Sakura, she could still try and defect, and then somehow Tsunade would find out and string his balls from the top of the Hokage Tower.

Or his least favorite alternative of them all, she'd find out her role in the future of the Village, agree without a scream or stomp, and suffer silently for the rest of her life. Sakura didn't want to be with Sasuke without a gun to her head. Imagine a written declaration signed by the Hokage herself. The last time Sakura was forced to care for the Uchiha against her will, she used every weapon in her arsenal to get away from it. Kakashi and Naruto's careers at that. And almost the life of the Uchiha himself. Now her womb was at stake?

Sasuke was a runner. It's in his blood. When the trials and tribulations of parenthood and Sakura's hormones on crack get too much for him, he can see his idiot student leaving her to raise their child by herself, forcing Kakashi to play step-daddy to the Uchiha's seed. 'I think the fuck not.' Kakashi thought to himself.

There was no possible win in this situation. Honestly. And every day Kakashi was around her while she was blissfully ignorant was making him complicit in this crime. And though he had absolutely nothing to do with the plan, only finding out a couple of days ago himself, it seemed to always be his fault. Did the Hokage really think that this would go over well? At all? Has he not complained at her desk numerous times about his woes and afflictions with this team that he, by the way, never wanted to take on?

Okay, maybe that was going a bit deep in the vault but face it, if he was never punished to take on these three knuckleheads, a life of misfortune would've been someone else's problem. But here he was. Always the fall guy. And what the fuck was he to do about it?

For starters, he could avoid Sakura until he figured out a smart enough plan that resulted in Kakashi being less of a traitor to the party that would affect him the most. Loyal to a fault is what he told the Hokage and that was true, but his loyalty to whichever entity depended solely on the stakes. He could be loyal to the Village, and support this arranged coupling. By the way, were they back in the dark ages? He thought the days of arranged marriages and breeding was far over.

He could be loyal to himself, and keep his fucking trap shut. But who was he kidding? Somehow, someway he would be dragged into this mess and suffer the consequences regardless.

Or, he could be loyal to Sakura. And like he always did, try and protect the interests of her heart and livelihood. But then what? They run off into the sunset and live happily ever after? Now if he ever had to run away, and had to choose someone to defect with, he was sure it would be Sakura. They would figure it out as they always did, from every single mission they went on together while he sponsored her for Anbu, to their unfortunate detainment in Grass after the scroll of approval was misplaced. Which he would continue to swear up and down that it was stolen.

But then what?

His thoughts trailed right back to the beginning of his afflictions. Sakura didn't want to be with him, right? That was just a part of their little game. They would toy back and forth, teasing each other about who wanted who. 'But to what end?' Kakashi thought.

What if Sakura was right? What if Kakashi did want her, but couldn't have her? Well scratch that. Kakashi was possessive. He knew he wanted Sakura to himself, but in what form would that take? They were friends, close friends, and he knew she preferred him. That was a no brainer. As a partner? If they had to go on a two-man, her name would be the first he chose. But as a lover? How the hell was he supposed to decide that?

This train of thought made Kakashi so uneasy, he actually went out yesterday to pick up a book about relationships. He switched out the covers of course, replacing the self-help guide bindings with one none other than Icha Icha. These were things his father and mother were supposed to teach him. Hell, even life experiences. But he's been so fucked up and so institutionalized to the Shinobi life and the Village, that he never picked up basic skills on how to have a healthy relationship with a woman.

Now this is not to get confused. Kakashi was smooth and could talk any woman into his bed. But keep her there? Or actually want to keep her there? All he's learned in this dumb ass book is that life with a significant other is full of willing compromise and unending sacrifice and change that is supposed to make you happy. And all he's done the past couple of years was compromise for Sakura to ensure her happiness. And he can agree she's done more than her share for him in return. Monitoring his wellbeing, forcing him to unload years of childhood trauma, and then of course saving his ass on more than one occasion. But if that's all there was to it then why the hell did Sasuke and Sakura not work out?

The Uchiha was an egotistical maniac but they were also together for two years.

He needed to find that out. Kakashi was never a person to rely solely on emotions. He couldn't deny he had them, but emotions make a person weak. This has to be a logical decision. Because all of their livelihoods depended on it. He needed to find out more before Sasuke impregnated Sakura and left her a bump on the log for the upcoming war that they started. There were a lot of things he knew could anger Sakura, but not finishing what she started had to be at the top of the list.

"Naruto?" He asked, shutting his book. Naruto, completely forgoing their previous conversation, assumed Kakashi was just lost in his thoughts again and turned his attention back to the TV.

"Hm?" He responded without turning his head.

"Why do you think Sasuke and Sakura never worked out?" The boy froze before slowly turning his head to face Kakashi.

"Weird question."

"In light of recent events—"

"Coming from you, Sensei." Kakashi frowned.

"Humor me." Naruto sighed and ran a tired hand through his currently dark blue locs. Just the question alone seemed to have aged the boy and he wouldn't doubt it, considering Naruto has been running around his two teammates tragic love story since his youth.

"Where do I even begin?" He started.

"The short answer, Naruto." Kakashi said, knowing he'd be there for hours if he let him.

"They love each other. But that's not what's in question. We all love each other. Because we're family. Not the family we chose either. And that's how it goes right? You're born into a family and you have no choice over your parents or your siblings, but you love them regardless. Hell, you even love us in your own fucked up way and you've told us from the beginning you didn't want us." Kakashi let him continue. "Sometimes things just don't work out no matter how much we want them to. That's just life. And that's okay. But I think Sakura figured this out a very long time ago."

"What do you mean?"

"She told me when we first brought Sasuke back. She feels like she confuses what was just supposed to be a schoolhouse crush with actual romantic love. And sure, that fueled all of her pleas to bring Sasuke back—I mean I wanted him back too, that's my brother. But it didn't necessarily mean she was in love with him. And for two whole years she tried… But Sasuke mentally wasn't able to reciprocate that. We all know the majority of those two years was spent reconditioning Sasuke for society. Sakura was a caregiver. And we didn't even notice how much that took a toll on her. We only finally figured out how good she was at putting on a façade about how she really was when we brought her back from captivity." Kakashi lowered his head in remembrance. "No one ever takes care of the caregiver. She was suffering in silence but somewhere in her she knew…Well you know how much she values her virginity. And she kept it from Sasuke for that long? That wasn't just a coincidence. They lived together. Sakura just didn't feel the same as she did before.

"And I know Sasuke loves her, like we all do. But he's trying to force it too. Because he knows…he knows the decision to come back wasn't based upon my pleas or your warnings. It was for Sakura. And just for her? That decision to forgo his freedom and everything he's know had to be hard. But again, that doesn't mean he's in love. He doesn't even have enough social awareness to know what that means. He's borderline psychotic and can barely feel. He does obscene things just to make himself feel. And we all know he doesn't mean to he's just…"

"Sick." Kakashi finished with the simplest word that they could use to describe the man.

"Yeah. But it's not anything anyone can fix. Unfortunately." He finished in a whisper. "He's trying to finally answer Sakura's pleas and Sakura's trying to make sure he doesn't go off the deep end again when he finds out what he actually came back home for doesn't exist. It's a sick cycle. I know you don't care much whether they're together or not, but the sooner the both of them just give it up and realize they can love each other without these unreasonable expectations, everyone can breathe a little bit easier." Naruto finished and flopped back on the couch.

If anyone felt the brunt of this, it was definitely Naruto.

He sighed again, opening his mouth preparing to speak. But then three short raps were heard at the door before it opened.

"Kakashi," He heard from none other than Sasuke. Speak of the devil. "The Queen has requested your audience." The book seemed to have reappeared out of nowhere.

"And what does she want?"

"None other than your presence. Again." He responded, seemingly annoyed. Kakashi turned a page, fully indulged in his book again. He was going to get down to the bottom of this "relationship" thing and he wasn't interested in being distracted by the very person he was trying to make sense of it for. Go figure.

"Is she dying?"

"Pretty much."

"I'm awfully busy. I'm sure you can handle it, Sasuke-kun." He said sarcastically, earning him an eyeroll.

"I'll go." Naruto stood. "I'm going to take her out of the Village today." Kakashi raised an eyebrow but figured the less he knew the better.

"There. Naruto should be a suitable replacement." Naruto scoffed.

"Not in the least. You can only avoid her for so long before she comes barging down here, Sensei. Just saying." He stood as Sasuke raised his eyebrows. He then followed the brown-haired man out of the door.

"I hope you can take today to figure out whatever else you have to before this thing goes south. Again." He pursed his lips as the door shut.

Naruto was far from dumb, no matter how senseless everyone around them thought the boy was. He willingly chose to stay blissfully ignorant and out of everyone else's business until it concerned him. And his choice to prefer peace and happiness versus involving himself in the more difficult intricacies of life was a trait that he actually envied.

But he would just have to endure a little bit more because Kakashi had a lot to figure out and he wasn't moving from his spot until he did.

---

"How do you feel, Haruno?" She wiped the sweat from her brow.

"Never better." She grumbled, as she adjusted her dress. She wore a light pink kimono that was cut low so the spillage of her cleavage was on display. It was long but also had a slit on the side that stemmed from her thigh. Her body was unnaturally hot, so much so that she felt she was catching a fever.

"It's okay, we're almost there. I promise it will be worth it." She huffed, blowing her bangs out of her face.

"Yeah, right." They were in the port town, where Sakura and Mei previously planned for her to escape to. It was a beautiful small town, and Naruto took her to a tiny restaurant situated right above the water. He opened the door and allowed her to walk in first, then led her to chairs that sat in front of large windows giving her a breathtaking view.

There was someone already seated in one of the chairs he was leading too, wearing a long, hooded overcoat and Shinobi sandals. She furrowed her eyebrows and as the person turned, tears welled in her eyes.

"Oh, Pig." Ino enveloped her in a tight hug as Sakura's shoulders shook with each cry that left her body. Naruto stook back and looked at his work with a smile.

"I told you it would be worth it, Sakura." She mouthed a 'thank-you' to him and he nodded. "I'll go stand watch." Ino gave him a nod back in return before pulling Sakura back, her eyes filled with tears as well.

"You've gotten yourself into so many messes since I've last seen you, huh?" Ino choked out, before the taller woman hugged Sakura again, her hands caressing the tops of her head. "I've missed you so much, billboard brow." Sakura nodded against her before wiping her tears. They both sat down, their eyes looking at each other in awe. They were speechless a moment before she spoke.

"How did Naruto even pull this off…?"

"You know as future Hokage, Naruto has been kept up to date on all the matters back home. Not always by our Shishou herself but he has his own orderlies that report to him. I was on a reconnaissance mission when I got a message that you could use a friend. I split immediately." Sakura smiled softly. "Foxy knows he can't do much, but he always knows what you need." She finished.

"How is everything back home?" Sakura whispered. Ino pursed her lips as a look of dread overtook her.

"I'm afraid war is unavoidable at this point. They've taken so many of our own. Their attacks are no longer just skirmishes and ambushes, they're cutting off trade routes and our access to much needed supplies for the Village. They're trying to starve us out." Sakura turned pale. "We're doing what we can to fight back, and we're trying to prepare a frontal assault to end this once and for all, but honestly first and foremost we're just trying to figure out what it is they want. They have to have some type of ace up their sleeve to believe that they can restrain the Kyuubi and capture all of our bloodline limits. Not knowing what is putting us at an extreme disadvantage." Sakura shook her head.

"I agree. Something was fishy from the moment we escorted that Grass Ambassador back. I think you should go back to the source Ino; go back to the reason he was here. He had to have taken something from us. Kakashi and I getting detained wasn't on accident." To think that the mission that started all of this between her and her partner was also a plot for war. Irony.

"I'll definitely bring that back to Konoha. I know Shishou is waiting for you all to return. You and Kakashi especially. There has to be more that we're missing and she thinks if you two can go through all the details from your initial mission, along with the mission to capture the spy, we can try one last time to get around this thing." Ino paused. "How are you and Kakashi, anyway?" Sakura visibly shrunk at the question. "Spill it, billboard brow."

Sakura spared no detail about Sasuke, about Kakashi, she even brought up her trauma from Ren. It wasn't like Ino would let her either. But it felt good letting it all out to her best friend who had no stakes in the game.

When she finished, Ino sighed. There was a long pause as she digested all of the information.

"And you said this to him? That he wanted you?" Sakura nodded. "What a typical male response he gave." She said with a roll of her eyes. "And I'm guessing you said that to him because somewhere in you, that's how you feel too, huh?" Sakura nodded again, more shyly this time. "About damn time you admit it, billboard brow." Sakura's mouth opened in shock.

"How did you—?!" Ino held up a hand.

"It wasn't hard to guess, Sakura. I know you like the back of my hand. Did you really think you could keep this from me?" Sakura looked away. "Besides, I knew something was up with him when he took you away for two years. He may not have known it then, but there had to be something there. Ex-sensei or not." She finished.

"Sometimes I feel so lost in all this, Ino. Life especially." Sakura whispered. Ino's eyes softened and she took Sakura's hands into her own.

"We all go through different hardships, and we have different thresholds for pain. It's tough on all of us, trying to navigate this world with no blueprint and everything changing for us constantly. We've all been through it. But you... life has not been fair to you, Sakura." Her eyes finally met the blonde woman's pair. "You grew up with the orphaned Kyuubi and a boy who got his whole family slaughtered by his brother. Two outcasts. Not to mention all the shit Kakashi went through. Your whole team left you to fight their own demons in one way or another. Then you brought a criminal back that was supposed to love you but he didn't even know how... I've watched you suffer through that relationship all for you to get cheated on?" Ino smacked her lips. "Then you finally obtain something for yourself, Anbu, and you get fucking captured? Then cheated on? Again? Sakura, how are you still standing?"

She bit her lip as Ino recounted the trials and tribulations she's been through. Kakashi told her this as well. She was always putting others first, always thinking about the traumas and hardships that her teammates have been through but never about her own.

"You know, I can cry about my petty woes in life, but I've always had my teammates beside me. We lost our Sensei and that was really tough on us, but…" She looked out of the window onto the water. "Outside of that, I've never gone through anything particularly hard… I'm with the love of my life, Sakura." Ino gave a small smile as she thought of her boyfriend. "I'm in awe of your strength and you deserve something easy. Believe it or not, Kakashi is the easiest you will experience in this life. I mean, all you did was stop confiding in the man for a couple of days and he broke into my house to watch you sleep. He still owes me a window, by the way." She said, shooting Sakura a glare. She smiled back sheepishly.

"Heh. Forgot about that."

"Sakura, everything has been so hard for you. And at no fault of your own. Unfortunately, that's just how the chips were laid for your life. And Kakashi is too dumb to recognize what feelings are. He's going to fight it because he doesn't understand it. But if you two just continue on the way that you have… honestly, outside of Naruto, I've never seen another man fight just to be in your presence like this. And I mean, Sasuke did try and to no fault of his own, he just emotionally can't. And boys are so dumb and it takes them so much longer to realize these things. So when he does, and he will, just let him."

"And if he doesn't?"

"Return the favor. Fight for him like he risked everything to fight for you." How could Ino forget the months that Sakura was captured. They all experienced their own version of hell but Kakashi…no one saw him. And when they did, he looked as if he was on his death bed. Which was true, due to the traces of poison he was still letting ravage his body. He was physically and emotionally punishing himself for what happened to Sakura. And as loyal as Kakashi was to the Village, she's only ever known him to put his interests first. So to watch him literally risk his livelihood, and everything he has worked for since he was young, disobey every order in the book to put a team together to go and get her back, the answer was clear to Ino.

Kakashi was in love with her. He just hasn't realized it yet.

And her poor, poor friend. She's only ever been consumed with Sasuke, and has only known love that caused her to go through suffering first. She wouldn't know what real love was if it punched her in the face. That's why she was struggling with her feelings so much right now. She couldn't even see that everything that Kakashi did for her went way beyond the throes of friendship. Hell, Ino's never had any friends like that.

She never saw a pair like this coming. But what she's witnessed the past couple of years, Kakashi was hellbent on saving Sakura. He just didn't know he was saving her for himself.

Gray and pink clash together but, they're cute.

"How are you and Hatsuharu?" Sakura asked, bringing her out of her thoughts. Ino blushed.

"We've been talking about getting married. And when I say talking, I mean he proposed!" Sakura's eyes widened and she squealed in delight as Ino pulled her necklace from underneath her clothing. There was a ring on it, and the rock was huge. "It's probably because of war time and all of that but I couldn't care less. After this war is over and the fog clears, it's seriously time for us to settle down. We've already been through enough—the both of us need to retire and start popping out babies!" Sakura raised her eyebrows.

"Speak for yourself, Ino. I'm missing an important piece of the puzzle to make that happen. You know, someone from the male species." She said sarcastically. "Maybe when we get back from this stupid "vacation" Shishou forced upon us I can try out the dating scene." She threw up air quotes with a roll of her eyes. "Oh, who am I kidding. I don't know why we were given this mission anyway, when really anyone could've handled this. War is brewing and I'm stuck playing stripper." She grumbled. Ino bit her lip.

"Mission, huh." She whispered while shaking her head.

"What?"

"Sakura, I'm going to tell you this, because out of everyone you could hear it from, I feel like you'll take it best coming from me." Sakura furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

"What are you talking about, Pig?" Ino looked back out onto the water as she contemplated her words.

"You always get so emotional. I know you haven't been in the best mental state but I'm going to need you to use everything that they've taught you in Anbu when I tell you this." Sakura leaned in closer.

"Tell me what?"

"Kakashi probably knows, but knowing him, he's honestly probably trying to find a way to tell you that will result in the least amount of backlash possible. I don't know how long he's known, but I know he knows. And I told you it takes him a long time to figure things out but when he does—"

"Ino, spit it out." Sakura urged. Ino sighed deeply and closed her eyes. Sakura waited and didn't realize she was holding her breath until her friend spoke.

"Shishou sent you on this mission mostly in part to get you back with Sasuke. There have been talks of the restoration of the Uchiha Clan. And you're it, Sakura." Her eyes widened and she felt her heart beating so loud she could feel it in her ears. She quickly remembered what Ino said. That was why she ran away for two years, right? To control her wildcard emotions. She exhaled sharply and retreated to her mind.

What were the facts?

This was something she should've saw coming a long time ago. Naruto and Sasuke himself said he only came back for her. What did she think, he just loved her so much he just wanted to be with her and not produce any heirs? And they were together for two years, he cheated on her when she denied him sex…In his head he's waited long enough. He's always said he couldn't lose her. He couldn't lose the most important piece to completing his puzzle…her heart clenched painfully and her body became hot but she continued to breathe.

But her Shishou…she knows. She knows what he's put her through. But she's also tasked with protecting the Village. That's why they're in the position they're in now with Grass, aren't they? They've lost the most powerful stronghold they've had in defense of the Village. The Uchiha Clan. And with one remaining Sharingan user, he had to produce heirs eventually. Sooner rather than later. And just like Ino said, Sakura was it.

"This complicates so much, Sakura. I know." She pursed her lips together.

"The information was right in front of me, but I guess I never wanted to see it." Ino shook her head.

"We both know Sasuke. And I know that your brain is probably trying to tell you that every interaction between you two was just a ploy for his end game. But in this situation, listen to your heart. Sasuke does love you." She looked into the eyes of her friend and remembered a time that they both vied for the Uchiha's attention. "I hate to say it, because he's a grown ass man and should, but he just doesn't know any better. He probably assumes this is the only way. And Shishou…she's just doing her duty to the Village. Kami knows whenever Naruto takes over, he's going to try to keep Sasuke as far away from you as possible." She finished with a laugh. Sakura looked away.

"This is how it will always be, won't it? I'll come to a realization about finally ending this painful cycle with Sasuke, just to find out I'll be stuck in it forever." She said sadly. Ino shook her head again and grabbed Sakura's shoulders.

"I know this feels like the end, but you have the power here. I'm sure every single person who is privy to this information was tasked with not telling you. No one thinks you can handle it or make the right decision. But I have faith in you. I always have." Sakura's outbursts have always been so explosive, and as of late with everything that has happened to her mentally, she can understand why the information was hidden. But just what power does Ino think she has?

When Sasuke came back she was literally forced by written declaration just to care for him. She can assume the restoration of his Clan is something that is going to be taken far more seriously. And then there was Kakashi. Is this why he was avoiding her? Did he just find out and didn't have the wherewithal to face her? He probably felt sorry for her. And Kakashi never came to her without a solution. Hence the reason she hasn't seen him for days. Makes sense.

"Ino, you think I'm strong enough for this, but I'm not…" She whispered while looking away. Ino, grabbed her chin forcefully and looked into her eyes. Her bright blue pair beamed vigorously against hers.

"Kakashi would probably argue me on this until the end of his days. But I know you. Better than anyone. You know that? Sakura I've…I've been in your head so I know…I felt…" She grabbed the material of her overcoat above her heart. "I have felt every single experience of yours as if I've faced it myself. I tasted the desperation of fighting to bring Sasuke back. I experienced the hate and loathing you felt for him upon his return. I also felt your helplessness as he went through his bouts of psychotic episodes." She turned her head slightly as her eyes shone with sadness. "I've felt your power, your dedication, your happiness…" She closed her eyes as tears threatened to fall. "But your suffering in captivity…There's no word to describe how that feels. The images I've seen in your head. The pain that overtakes your body. When I was in there, I experienced that too, and I…They've never felt that. Sasuke, through all he has experienced. Naruto, on the run his whole life. Even Kakashi, as seasoned and accepting of his end as he is. None of them, Sakura. None of them know what it feels like to look death in the face every single day and continue to stand. They don't understand. They don't know what it feels like. But you do."

Sakura closed her eyes and breathed slowly as images flashed behind her eyelids. Painful visions of death and destruction that were implanted in her psyche. Disturbing recounts of what it felt like, awaiting her demise. The devastating feeling of losing hope each and every day. Living with the thought that no one was ever coming for her. Until they did. And then having to go back to the shattering existence of the real world with those thoughts continuously consuming her, not allowing her to decipher between reality and delusion.

Unfortunately, when the mind transfer user places themselves in the psyche of another, they are tied to their subconscious for a period of time. Ino tried to strengthen the barriers in her mind but there were none left. She was in there so long… Every memory she saw and every feeling Sakura felt associated with it, Ino subjected herself to that. It's different when it's someone she has no emotional connection to. But not only did Ino feel everything Sakura felt, she's watched it all from the sidelines. She finally had an emotion she can attach to what she's seen her experience. And because of that, she's the only one she trusted explicitly upon her return. She's the only one who knows…

"What about Kakashi?" Sakura asked softly.

"You've always put others first. Duty, the Village, your team… you take time to decide what Sakura wants for once. No one thinks you're strong enough to handle this on your own but I burdened you with this information because I know you are. Once you decide what you want, I'll stand behind you to the end." Ino said firmly. "And Kakashi… Sakura, when you tell him what you want you have to be sure. Because he will go to the ends of the earth for that decision whether it's in his favor or not. You know that, right? You have to be sure." She repeated. Sakura nodded, taking in her words.

Those were the facts. Kakashi has always fought for her. And what she wanted. Whether she knew it or not. So whatever she decided to do, he would take that burden on. He always did. Whether he wanted to or not.

"And Sasuke?"

"Just move carefully. If you guys really are in a better place, somehow someway you'll have to make him see that you guys being bonded together forever by a child will literally be detrimental. Not only to you both, but everyone around you. Just look at the civilian casualties you guys have taken, and you're not even together!" Sakura frowned, thinking of the impending visit she and Mei had to Asami.

She sighed, running a hand through her hair.

"I love you, Ino. I don't know where I would be without—"

"Enough of that, Sakura. We're sisters, remember? Even more so now that I've been in that crazy head of yours. And I'm thankful for you, too. If it wasn't for you and Kakashi's dumb ass starting this war who knows how many more years it would've taken Hatsuharu to propose." She said with a wink. "Finish this mission carefully and come home. I want to fight alongside my sister and end this thing. But more importantly, I want to see you at peace. With Kakashi, that is." She gave her a playful nudge.

The two girls talked for what seemed like hours, catching up on less impending topics like the Village gossip and who was dating who. Sakura's heart swelled and everything she dreaded about the future seemed to disappear. Right up until Naruto came back.

"I guess that's my queue. Back to work for both of us, eh?" Sakura smiled softly. "And I'm really digging the prostitute look on you, Billboard Brow! Can I borrow this for my wedding?" Sakura laughed and shoved her playfully.

"They should've sent you here instead, then." They hugged one final time and held on tight. The next time the two women would see each other, they would both be in a fight for their lives. Ino departed them, and she and Naruto returned back on the path toward the Hot Springs Village.

They walked in step in a comforting silence before Sakura spoke.

"You knew, didn't you?" She asked quietly, looking up at him. He sighed, hanging his head slightly.

"Sakura…"

"No, I don't blame you, Naruto. It makes sense, you know. Why you fight so hard to keep him away. You've probably known a long time." She looked back to the road ahead as they continued to walk. It was quiet for a long time.

"My loyalty is to you, Haruno." She nodded.

"I know. Thank you for that. For always…" She trailed off, letting the words go unspoken. "And thank you for this. I needed her." She placed a hand above her heart and grabbed what little fabric remained there. "I didn't even know how much I needed her. "

"Big brother Naruto always knows best." He said with a soft smile. She smiled back in familiarity. They walked for a while in contemplative silence as she mulled over Ino's words.

"War is brewing, huh." She stated, now fully understanding the extent of Naruto's knowledge and everything he's tried to do to keep them together. It's all served a greater purpose.

"Faster than we can imagine, Haruno. But I'm ready this time. We're ready. Faster, stronger. We'll get them. And we'll end this." He bit out.

"When is the last time you slept, Uzumaki?"

"…" She shook her head.

"It's been months, hasn't it? All this time your worrying about me has caused you to run yourself ragged. In order to be truly ready for war, at your best, you need sleep." He frowned.

"But I also need to trust that you'll be okay." She grabbed his arm and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"I will. Kakashi's got me. You know that."

---

Honestly, any other day, literally any other day, Kakashi's particular interest in this practice or even the suggestion of participating in something like this would be a hard fuck no. But at this point, and this was hard to admit, he was lost.

He can never really say there was a point in his life where he felt particularly lost, either. Depressed, maybe. But losing more loved ones than you can count on your hands and toes would do that to a person. But even then, he buried himself deep into duty and continued to do the thing he was practically bred to do. Protect the Will of Fire.

There weren't many milestones in this life that he had left to accomplish. He was still Anbu, as far as he knew. Just stripped of his position indefinitely. And he couldn't really care less about that either because, to be honest, all the operatives that come to mind that he'd be placed with would look to him for leadership anyway.

All the operatives except one.

The one operative in question being the basis of his current affliction and the reason he was presently kneeling on a pillow, donning a loose satin shirt and pants, surrounded by holistic deities and supernatural trinkets.

No, he never really felt lost. But now, as he sat awaiting a Shaman to make sense of life and spiritually guide him in the right direction, whatever that bullshit meant, he felt truly lost. Because what the fuck was he doing here?

"Whose idea was this again?" He heard Sasuke say, annoyed.

"Shhhhhh." It was Yuuki this time. "She's coming." Just as he finished speaking, a small elderly woman walked through the curtains of the candle-lit room they were in. She knelt on a pillow before them, her hands placed on her knees. Yuuki touched his head to the ground and Sasuke and Kakashi shared a look before cautiously doing the same.

No, he was right. Whose idea was this?

---

"As always, I'm grateful for your wise words and teachings." Yuuki said, offering a curt bow. The elder woman just smiled in response.

"Well that was a waste of time," Sasuke grumbled as they started to leave the dimly lit room.

"The others may go. But not you," They all turned to see the woman pointing. Right at Kakashi. "The young one."

"Young?" Sasuke scoffed before he and Yuuki exited.

"Sit." She commanded softly. Kakashi did as she asked, albeit a bit warily. He bowed his head. "You have something on your heart, young one. What is it?" Kakashi contemplated letting it go, considering their previous session was filled with generic idioms that Yuuki ate right on up. But he figured since he was dragged here, it wouldn't hurt. It's not like she could solve the answer to world peace in a day and truthfully, Kakashi would probably leave here just as confused as he came.

"I feel…lost."

"In regards to what?"

"Due to my…occupation, life has always laid out a clear path for me. I never expect others to stay too long, because my lifestyle is dangerous. People come, and people go. So I don't typically lean toward creating emotional attachments. Those create problems with such a thing as transient as this life."

"I see."

"Complications arise when you create close bonds."

"So you're not a man of many friends." Kakashi frowned.

"No, I have friends,"

"And you understand that they can leave you at any moment due to your…lifestyle, as you put it."

"Yes, I've made my peace with that. It's the way the world goes unfortunately, so there isn't a need to dwell on that fact. I mourn them by respecting their memory and continuing to live as they would. Our lifestyle." He touched the eye that held the Sharingan, currently concealed by his special contacts. All of his friends, especially Obito, gave their lives in service. In duty to their Village. And they told him to live. And he does, knowing at any moment he could share the same fate. But that's the fate of all Shinobi, isn't it?

"You seem to understand the way of life, but there is still something you're confused about, yes?"

"Yes."

"So what is it that troubles you, young one?" Kakashi furrowed his eyebrows in thought, before exhaling.

"I have a friend that I'm not sure I would be able to make my peace if they were gone."

"They?"

"She."

"Ah," The elder woman said, as if finally understanding what Kakashi was adamant on beating around the bush about. "You've created a close bond with this friend."

"Yes."

"Against your will?" Kakashi tilted his head back and forth.

"Yes. Well, sort of. In the beginning, definitely." Because taking on third-rate, wet behind the ears Genin was definitely at the Third Hokage's behest. "Then I kind of…continued to let it happen."

"You encouraged it."

"I guess you could say that." He said, remembering how he agreed to spend two years with another human being, in semi-close quarters, knowing that personal space can only be maintained but for so long.

"You and this friend both live the same lifestyle, yes?" He nodded. "So you are also aware that at any point in time, either of you could perish."

"I understand that. It's our duty." She cocked her head to the side.

"Hm. So you understand that. But in this moment, you aren't talking about your friend perishing." He looked away.

"I guess I'm not."

"So why are you lost, my child?"

"Because I let this person into my life, and I'm not sure if I would be okay if they left it." Saying it out loud unintentionally confirmed what Sakura said to him. He felt beads of sweat trail down his back. Was it hot in there?

"And not pertaining to perishing, because you understand that is a consequence of what you do." He nodded again. "So if she's your friend, how do you fear her leaving your life?" He was quiet a moment, as he pursed his lips. There it was. "From what you're saying child, you value the few bonds that you do cultivate with others. I'm sure you wouldn't do anything to jeopardize those, and certainly not a bond that you encouraged."

"I wouldn't." He responded. "I would do anything to stay friends with this person."

"You would?"

"Yes. And I have done a lot to maintain our friendship." She clicked her tongue.

"I see." She paused. "So you've allowed someone close, which is unusual for you, but since the deed is done, you know that you will do whatever it takes to maintain this connection."

"Yes."

"I'm sure you would do this for all of your friendships, no?"

"I would, if it came to it."

"So my child, why do you fear this friend leaving you the most, if this is the case for all of your friendships? What makes this particular friendship special?" He looked away. "Unless this is more than just a friendship."

"I'm lost because I don't know that answer. How would I know?"

"But you do know."

"How?" Kakashi pleaded, impatience in his voice. She smiled softly.

"Because you just explained it to me." His eyes widened. "You have a woman, who you call a friend, that you fear leaving you. But not dying. You would understand if she died. So you fear her leaving you otherwise," She started. Her voice was soothing, he realized. "But her leaving you wouldn't be on your accord. It would be her decision. So that leaves me wondering, my child. What could she possibly leave you for?" He rolled his eyes.

"I mean, a plethora of things, knowing her. She could decide that I'm way too irritating to her that day, she could be in a mood, because to be honest I'm not the easiest to deal with." Which Sakura has mentioned to him on many occasions, and also how she was the only one who could possibly put up with him. "She could be angry that I haven't fed her that day, she could realize there's someone easier to create our bond with—" The elderly woman held up her palm, signifying him to stop.

"I'm sure she has other friends, yes?" He scoffed.

"More than I do."

"So why do you fear her creating another friendship with someone else?" He pressed his lips together. "Unless it's not that you fear losing her as a friend. It's that what you both have is more than a friendship and that's what you truly fear." He exhaled deeply.

"But how would I know. I'm lost because I don't know, I—"

That's why he was here, wasn't it? That's why agreed to go on a spiritual journey at the insistence of Yuuki. Because there was no amount of self-help books that would help him in figuring out what the hell Sakura was to him if she wasn't a friend.

He tried comparing her to Guy and Tenzou, even Genma. Some of his oldest friends, who, admittedly, he would lay his life down for. Doing any and everything to maintain their friendship might be an excessive statement. He would actually do everything in his power to avoid being found by them, because it would eventually lead to being paraded to a bar and a nasty hangover the next morning. But they were still friends nonetheless, and they shared the same hardships.

They've lost the same people.

But he couldn't try that hard to hide from Sakura, and even if he did, she'd find him somehow. He swore that tattoo she made him get had to have her chakra signature in it or something…

Even so, if it did come down to a disagreement between his friends, he would hope that they would be mature enough to handle it like real men.

By fighting.

And if that didn't work, if they absolutely insisted that they parted ways, Kakashi would be levelheaded enough to accept that.

So what was the issue?

He can count at least three times Sakura tried to cast him out of his life and he wouldn't let her.

Kakashi. The Copy-Ninja. The social outcast. The man who would be perfectly fine if not a soul bothered him all day and he was left to his own devices and his book. He was bothered by Sakura trying to leave him. And that in itself made him question every single thing he knew about their relationship. On top of the fact that soon she will be forced against her will to rekindle with Sasuke.

And playing devil's advocate, no one inside of the walls of the Village wants the reconciliation of Sasuke and Sakura, not just him. But his issue is that he doesn't want anyone to have Sakura.

"Do you know what love is, child?" The elder brought him out of his thoughts.

"Sure, I guess."

"Have you ever been in love with anyone before?" Kakashi shrugged.

"I love my friends—" She held up her palm again.

"I think we've deduced that this isn't about your friends, yes? Let's stop prevaricating." Kakashi frowned.

"No, I don't think I've been in love with another woman before. There was a woman I felt deeply about. I cared about her, and I would've done anything to protect her. I tried…" He clenched his teeth as he thought about Rin. "But we didn't have the time. Our occupation." The woman nodded in understanding.

"And you feel deeply about this woman, your special friend. You would do anything to protect her. You care about her as well, yes?" He nodded more slowly this time. "So then you know." She finished and smiled. Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

"Know what?"

"You know that you are in love with this woman." He nearly choked, and as he cleared his throat he broke out into laughter. He noticed the woman didn't laugh with him.

"I'm not—I mean it's true that what me and—" He stopped himself before naming Sakura. "It's true that it may be more than a friendship, but love? We're not in a relationship—I mean, we've never even had sex!"

"And you equate sex to love?" Kakashi rolled his eyes.

"God, no. I'd be in love with a hundred women then." He snickered. He noticed the scowl on the woman's face and cleared his throat. "How can you be sure that I'm in love with this woman?" She leaned forward and placed her hands on top of his.

"Because while yes, love is intimacy, but it's also about earned trust. It's about protection, kindness, compassion, and selflessness. It is a possessive devotion, love." The woman patted his hands and stood. "When you are near this woman, are you lost? Or do you feel a sense of calmness that completes you. A peace that you fear you would lose if that person were to go away from you?" She stated, regurgitating his words to him. "You say you are lost, my child. But you are not. You're pained by feelings you've never felt before, and the dread that comes along with the realization of loving someone. I'm sure in your profession it's rather easy to lay your life down for your friends. But which one of them would you go to the ends of the earth to live for?" She turned and walked back through the curtains she entered. Kakashi sat in shock before slowly standing and exiting the room. He blinked a couple of times as his eyes adjusted to the light.

"About damn time, Kakashi. What the hell was that about?" Sasuke asked, no doubt angry about having to wait on him.

"Are you jealous I was the chosen one, Sasuke-kun?" Kakashi said cheerily. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Stop calling me that." Yuuki reappeared.

"Are we ready?" The two men nodded. "Great. Hatashi I'd like to show you where the other guards work…" Kakashi drowned him out as they left the dojo and the sounds of the elderly woman's soothing voice echoed throughout his head.

Emotions were stupid, he figured. Which is why he never bothered with them. And if Yuuki hadn't insisted on this spiritual retreat, he wouldn't have had to subject himself to listening to some old spiritual Shaman tell him that he was in love with Sakura. He's just barely scratching the surface on fully understanding what a relationship requires and she went ahead and skipped several chapters.

He really couldn't deny any of the things she was saying, but there had to be another explanation. It's true, he told Sakura that he'd rip his left arm off before he let her die. Then he went and let her get captured.

In those three months that he stayed isolated in his home, allowing the remnants of a nasty poison destroy his nervous system and break his body down, he wanted death. He welcomed it. Because he figured the inevitable happened to her. Awaiting the lockdown to be lifted if only to confirm her fate. He recognized he felt an emotion so foreign, it was something he had never experienced following the death of his loved ones.

They all told him to live. To continue on in protection of the Village and carrying on the Will of Fire. And he could do that, to honor them. When Sakura threw that scroll at him, basically telling him the same thing, telling him to live, forcing him to continue on without her…

He realized that life wasn't all that worth living if she wasn't there.

He came looking for answers and left with even less.

---

Naruto used the toe of his boot to smush the butt of the cigarette into the withering grass.

What a dirty habit, he knew. But the stress he's faced over the past year was immeasurable. From Sakura being gone in order to become an Anbu Operative, to her simple escort mission that went way, way wrong. Then adding the multiple reconnaissance missions they went on after that. He wishes he could say that her being in captivity for those 3 months was the worst part of the year but no, no it was the aftermath. It was her mental state, it was Ren, it was Kakashi, it was Sasuke— the toll that all of her plights have taken on him have been hard to put into words. And none of it was her fault. it was just, their adult years have not been kind to his pink-haired teammate at all.

They were on the cusp of war, and just depending on how this one ended directly affects how the beginning of his term as the Rokudaime Hokage goes. Will he have a grateful Village? Thankful that once again the powers that be allowed the good of the Shinobi World to prevail? Or will he—

He interrupted his own thoughts with a deep sigh, not even wanting to think of the alternative. As they stood now the odds weren't in their favor. Do they have the firepower? Sure. At least he thinks they do. With Grass threatening to steal and contain all of their Kekkei-Genkai, he can only imagine the secret weapon they have in their arsenal. And according to all the reports he's gotten, they weren't even close to deciphering what exactly that was.

Their presence is needed back home, Team 7, but here they all were, playing hot potato with Sakura's womb.

He was privy to the talk of the Restoration of the Uchiha Clan from the beginning, which was about 2 months before Sakura returned from Anbu training. And at first it was something he could just brush off. 'It's just talk.' He thought. Even so, he did everything in his power to support Sakura finding love with someone other than Sasuke and keeping the deranged boy far from her uterus. Even Kakashi unknowingly assisted in his ploy, much to his own disadvantage. Naruto could complain all he wanted but their former Sensei has gotten it the worst this past year.

And now this.

The four of them were thrust into the undercover world with hopes to reunite the two star-crossed lovers, but even a blind man could see that Sakura would rather set fire to her own skin before she even thought of giving her womb to the Uchiha.

Which he supposed was good news for him, it was just that the process was so excruciating.

She would realize there wasn't a fat chance in hell she would ever reunite with his brother, but not without the most unspeakable events occurring. He supposed Sasuke horrendously fucking things up, in his natural fashion, was making things easy for Sakura to never want to go back. But at what cost? Everyone, especially those closest to her, could see her mental health has taken a serious hit, and she didn't have much left until she seriously, irreparably, had a mental breakdown.

He wished he could say it was her fortitude keeping her in the fight, but it was literally only the war that was about to begin that pushed her will to stay sane. And that was for two reasons. One, she felt that she wasn't an asset in the last one, even though it was a known fact that without her thousands would have perished. Two, it was a running joke between them all that Kakashi and Sakura started this conflict, and she wouldn't feel right not finishing what she started. But with everything that's happened, and especially overhearing her and Ino's conversation, the two of them were just the unsuspecting Trojan Horse that Grass needed to kickstart their plans. If not them, it would've been two other less formidable Shinobi, and they could've been worse off than how they are now. He hated to admit it, but it's a good thing his Sensei is chronically late. Him getting slammed with that C-Class mission might've just saved them all.

And Kakashi was holding up rather well with everything going on. He knows the older man has seen a lot in his lifetime, and this was not even his first, second or third war, but there was so much more at stake this time. Sakura was the key to it all, and this year he was super close to giving his life to prove that.

With everything that's happened, he knows that Baa-chan kept the talks of the restoration on the hush, but with the conversation they had this morning she must've just spilled the beans. Kakashi would much rather remove his good eye himself before letting Sasuke impregnate Sakura, let alone get back with her. Honestly, he now believed Kakashi would go to the ends of the earth before he let Sakura be with anyone.

And that bothered him.

But not for the reasons one would suspect.

'Kakashi's got me. You know that.' Those words rang in his head, just like Kakashi questioning why Sasuke and Sakura didn't work out did. He trusted Kakashi with Sakura's life because she does, undoubtedly and wholeheartedly. And that was a hard thing to do, releasing the reigns to someone else when Naruto and Sakura grew up together. But like he noticed, there was so much more at stake. Kakashi has taken a fondness to Sakura. And not just in a platonic way.

At first, sure. He could completely reason with why he would sponsor her for Anbu. Naruto had no wish nor a need for the organization, and Kakashi just didn't like Sasuke enough, actually at all, to spend two years in isolation with him. That and the last time Kakashi took the younger boy under his wing, he still crashed out and defected. You could barely fool the Copy-Nin once, so he definitely wasn't going to give him another shot.

But now it was like, Kakashi just could not live without Sakura and that was made evidently clear by the way he literally tried to let himself die by poison after she was captured. The only thing that kept him going was the will to see his plan through. To bring her body back home, if that did turn out to be her fate. He was never one for hospitals anyway but that… That was him punishing himself for losing a teammate in the first place. Kakashi has lost Asuma and many other comrades he's grown with in the line of duty. But he's never reacted like this.

Naruto deduced that Kakashi was in love with Sakura, and that bothered him.

It bothered him because only Sakura has realized this, Sasuke was starting to catch on, and Kakashi was either too ignorant to realize, or he's choosing to back out.

And he could only assume it's the latter, considering the fact that he had a private meeting with Baa-chan, and has avoided Sakura ever since.

What does that mean for the rest of them?

If Kakashi doesn't fight, or chooses to acquiesce, Sakura will feel she has no reason not to surrender her womb in duty to the Village, even though he knows that's far from what she wants. A future where Sasuke and Sakura were tied to each other by an innocent child was not a reality anyone within 150 miles of the two ticking time bombs wanted to live in. The thought itself brought on a headache and that along with the absence of restful sleep Naruto's had over the last couple of months made him sick to his stomach. He ran a hand through his dark-blue locs.

"I need another cigarette. You got one?" He grumbled to Hiro, Mei's bodyguard, as he stood as still as a statue with his hands crossed at his waist. He shook his head. Naruto frowned. If he knew the women would be in there for that long he would've brought more, already having gone through a pack today, but the smell alone would not only irritate Sakura, it would cause her to worry that she's brought this stress upon him to start this dirty habit in the first place. He'd rather suffer in silence.

Hiro shuffled his feet a moment before speaking up.

"Do you believe they're okay in there?" Naruto chuckled dryly. The civilian was probably traumatized from the events that took place at the lounge. Watching Sakura fight in itself make the most prominent Shinobi shake in their boots, so he could only imagine the fear it strikes in a regular man's heart. And that was her not even at half strength.

"I'm sure they're making peace." Naruto's hearing is a blessing and a curse, but this time he was grateful for it. "Believe me, we wouldn't be able to ignore their screams." His head whipped back to face Naruto. "Joking," He offered cheerfully.

As a bodyguard whose sole purpose was to ensure they avoided conflict, Naruto assumed he didn't find much humor in that.

Ah well. These days he had to make light of the little things while he still could.

---

"You were only doing your job. No matter who it was, a paying customer is a paying customer. Despite what the blogs say, Sai and I are far from perfect and have way more problems than we let on. We pulled you into our mess and for that I'm sorry." She said sincerely.

Even in her real life, apologies weren't really her thing. Especially to women caught fraternizing with her supposed partner. It took Sakura almost 6 years to even try to make amends with TenTen. And even then she got the door slammed in her face. This was a reasonable reaction, considering she and the weapons master have been going back and forth with multiple men since they were in their teens. But the two of them were comrades at the end of the day, and that animosity was only personal. While Sakura was sure her Shishou would never place the women on a two-man together, if hell ever froze over and they were forced to do so, she would hope that their personal problems wouldn't bleed over in a life or death situation within their profession.

But Asami… the girl held no loyalty to her and there was nothing binding them together. They haven't even danced together yet. And with her brother swearing to make Sakura pay and a charge stemming from her family, this made the situation that much more dangerous.

"I never wanted to hurt you, and I know I deserve whatever actions you want to take against me." Asami sat back on her futon, curling her feet underneath her. She stared for a long time before shaking her head. Then Sakura heard a laugh come from the woman and raised her eyebrows questionably.

"You were raised by the streets for sure. You are scrappy, girl." Sakura smiled sheepishly. "But to that effect, it was just a dance. I didn't have sex with him. I wouldn't have taken it that far even if he wanted. I don't need the world against me." She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. Sasuke told her that himself, but still. His track record isn't the cleanest. "He came to me for a dance, paid top dollar too. I wouldn't expect anything less from him, anyway. He seemed into it at first, but then I looked into his eyes. His eyes…" Asami frowned. "After doing this for a while you get to know the difference in the men that come to you. Some of them just looking for an emotionless fuck, and some of them searching for more. But for Sai… for the most part I couldn't read him. But there was one moment, for just a second, there was just so much pain behind them. And I'm sorry if that hurts to hear but I just felt like you should know." Sakura bit her lip before nodding slowly. She wondered… how was Sasuke doing? Knowing that he was ordered to impregnate Sakura? Restoring his clan is something he has to do but despite how troubled he is, there are remnants of a soul left. And he does show genuine remorse. He probably wished—

"Haruka." Mei said as she nudged her, bringing her out of her thoughts.

"I said don't worry about the lawsuit. I haven't spoken to my family in years and that's their attempt at 15 minutes of fame. They don't agree with my lifestyle but I'm sure they see this as an opportunity to get whatever coins they can off of my name. But my brother…" Sakura tensed, regarding her less than pleasant encounter with the mercenary. She was powerless, and she hated feeling like that. "We're close and I promise I didn't tell him to do that. Since then, he's been sent on some mission by the Daimyo so I couldn't tell you where he is but I will say that whenever I see him I will call him off." Mei moved in closer to her.

"He's one of the Daimyo's henchmen." She whispered as Sakura nodded. "You're looking way better, Asami. And Haruka, too. Your fight was pretty nasty," She said as she shook her head. "But Yuuki knew some chakra healers and he wanted to ensure the both of you wouldn't scar." That probably explains why Sakura's broken nose wasn't that apparent when she finally woke. They did nothing for her concussion though; his healers were probably not as skilled and not comfortable messing around in anyone's brain. "While you're on leave Asami you'll be paid each day's full rate until you can dance again." She fist pumped the air.

"Thank God something good is coming out of this." She said with a laugh. Sakura looked over at Mei. I guess she was taking care of the business perspective of things, considering the media and legal implications that could come from both of the Kansai's dancers being at odds. "Haruka, you're dancing tomorrow night, right?" Sakura nodded. How could she forget? That was what she was here to do anyway. "When was the last time you danced?" She shrugged.

"Years, maybe." Asami unfolded her legs and stood.

"I have a pole in the back. Why don't we dust off those heels of yours?"

---

"Ever since they've been under new management, there's a storyline attached. It's not even porn anymore, it's a… Romcom." Sasuke shuddered.

"Not sure what bothers me more. The fact that it's probably a woman in charge of the biggest smut enterprise or the fact that it's actually good." Sasuke shrugged as the door opened. "There goes our peace." Kakashi turned to the door to see Sakura and Naruto come through. Sakura, in a very revealing pink kimono. The moment they locked eyes his book appeared in front of his face. She rolled hers.

"Teme, we have to case the Kansai before Haruno goes on tomorrow. Kami knows Sensei won't do it, even though it's his job." Naruto grumbled. Sasuke sighed.

"I'm assuming this is you forcing me to come with you." He pointed a finger at him and winked.

"Precisely." He inhaled before placing his hands on his knees to raise.

"I hope they kill each other before we get to the lounge. In that event, casing the place will end up pointless." Sasuke said hopefully as he shut the door behind them. Sakura pursed her lips as she began moving to the living space. At that same time, Kakashi shut his book and stood.

"Well, I guess that's my queue—"

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" She asked, stepping in front of him and placing a manicured digit on his chest.

"Sakura, you're blocking my path of life." He said sarcastically with a smile. She crossed her arms across her chest. His eyes immediately went down to observe the spillage of her breasts from her kimono. When he met her eyes again, they were dangerously narrow. He was sure his admiration of her top half was caught.

"Kakashi, why are you avoiding me?" He took a step back.

"Avoiding? I'm not avoiding you." He responded with his hands raised in surrender. Her and Naruto were so quick with it.

"And you're a liar." He frowned. "You can't spend more than 30 seconds in a room with me. What's with that?"

"I miss the days you were blissfully ignorant and weren't able to catch my tells." She rolled her eyes.

"Would you focus?" He sighed.

"Not… not avoiding you, Sakura. I've just been trying to give you space to navigate Haruka and Sai again." She didn't buy it one bit.

"You literally just told me that you don't trust me and Sasuke to act like adults around each other."

"Yeah, well, every day is a new day." He grumbled. She sighed, running her hands through her hair.

"You've really doubled down on your lies as of late." He placed a hand on his chest and feigned his offense to her statement. "I feel like I've needed you the past couple of days. Like I'm a child again. It's actually a little embarrassing to admit it, but I do." He tilted his head as his eyebrows furrowed, not truly understanding. She mulled over her thoughts for a moment as she contemplated speaking up.

What would this change?

Probably nothing. And she didn't know if she had the mental toughness to deal with that just yet. Hell, she just found out a couple of hours ago herself.

'Sakura, when you tell him what you want you have to be sure. Because he will go to the ends of the earth for that decision whether it's in his favor or not. You know that, right? You have to be sure.' Ino's words echoed in her head. And she was so right. When her resolve was strong, and she went to Kakashi, he took action immediately. Stemming all the way back to her sleeping on his couch, sometimes beat up, but sure about the rumors that TenTen would start and how she just wanted them to stop. How she ran to him, tear-filled, after Sasuke cheated on her, and begged him to sponsor her for Anbu. His action was always swift and immediate.

But if she wasn't sure, if there was too much emotion and not enough logic, like her kissing Nao, like her relationship with Ren, Kakashi would very much take over and move on whatever way he felt was in her best interest.

She had to be sure. But what is it that she wants?

Peace, she came to that conclusion with Mei's mother. And she also realized she would never have that with Sasuke. So if she folds, if she has this baby for him—for the good of Konoha, she will be revered a great deal. Isn't that what she always wanted though? She wanted to matter. She wanted to ensure that she was present in the Shinobi world and her actions and accomplishments actually made a difference. She came from nothing, a civilian family, no Kekkei -Genkai, just blood. Blood, sweat, and literal tears to place her where she is now. But if she does this, if she has this child that can awaken the Sharingan, she will be creating the single most significant human in the modern Shinobi world. However, her child will also be the most hunted person in modern times. Just thinking of Naruto in his youth brought a shiver down her spine. The security of Village would increase ten-fold. But who was she kidding. Sasuke's offspring? With her team around and the Shinobi she has in her corner her baby will be safe.

But then what about her? She still has so much more fight left in her. Just to think, at the beginning of the year she just returned as an Anbu Operative. She hasn't even had time to fully appreciate her accomplishment, because hell quickly broke loose. Having this baby will bring her purpose, sure. But her Shinobi career, everything she has fought so hard to conquer since she was so young, all of that will be forgotten. She will be coddled, and cared for, with 24 hour security no doubt. No leaving the Village, no missions, and definitely no war. And that made her sick.

How many will she be expected to produce anyway?

There were too many variables. The risk of this child does not outweigh the reward. Not to mention, she decided that peace was what she wanted. She will never know peace with Sasuke. No matter the condition, and no matter if she's carrying his offspring. Somehow, she figured it would get worse. Not on purpose. But deep down, somewhere inside of him where the sickness festers, he knows that they are tied, irrevocably forever. So no matter what, their cursed cycle would never end. That is a power she could never place in his hands.

So now when she was slapped with a declaration from the Hokage upon her return what does she do? She has to fight this war she has to finish what they started. How does she bargain with her Shishou, when everyone knows full well that not only are Grass Ninja coming for Konoha, they are gunning for Kakashi and Sakura's blood. Their head on a spike to be specific. And that would be leniency in their eyes, considering the blood that was shed at just the hands of those two.

Sakura's capture in itself is telling enough. Tsunade will try and keep her from the front lines but she's sure, she holds the key and only she can end this war. She just has to figure out how. That's her bargaining piece.

"I don't mean to avoid you, Sakura." Kakashi spoke, his voice low and smooth. Her eyes immediately turned to his. "Do you remember those times in training when I would make it my mission to hide from you?" She frowned.

"Unfortunately."

"I've just needed time to myself. I'm still the same old recluse you know. I know everything around us has changed but not much with us." What a good liar he is. He even sounded convincing, it almost fooled Sakura. It was true, he was always a recluse, forced into proximity with Sakura by her own doing. But he was a liar. They have changed. Everything has changed.

If the roles were reversed, Kakashi wouldn't hesitate to break windows or go as far as inviting himself to her childhood home to find out what the actual problem was.

In his defense, it was probably the news from Shishou that has him shook. And with her still trying to process it herself, it's best not to throw all the cards out on the table until she was sure.

"Are you positive?" She whispered, her voice small as she avoided his gaze. He blinked, taken aback.

"I'm positive." What a good liar. Everything has changed between them. But how could she put that into words? How did she tell this man that she felt safe with him? That she trusted him with her life, her heart? How did she convey that at her lowest moment she craved him and only him? That each day she looked forward to being in his presence and listening to his annoying sarcasm? And the hole that his absence created over the past couple of days left an ache that she could feel deep inside of her?

Did he not notice?

Did all of the problems she's faced over the past year overshadow that?

Maybe deep inside her she's always known, but the idea was just so farfetched that she could never let herself even fathom the thought. So she settled for something more obtainable, like Ren. Or something "safe" like Sasuke. Someone she's only ever known.

And if he knew… if he knew that she was cursed to give up her womb for the good of the Village, maybe he saw such an idea as farfetched as well.

Maybe it wasn't worth trying.

"Where did you go today?" She was brought out of her thoughts by his voice. She noticed his book was back in front of his face and his legs were kicked up. Maybe she should settle for this. The friendship that they have created. Maybe she should settle for him just being close. Close enough for her to still have him around, in her corner, to save her when everything else was burning.

"I went to go see Asami." His eyebrows raised.

"I see no scars so, I take it went well?" She rolled her eyes.

"It did, surprisingly. I want to bounce something off of you."

"Shoot." She pursed her lips.

"Something strikes me as odd. The man who attacked me when I tried to escape was her brother."

"Not odd, if he felt you slighted her. Take Naruto damn near ready to pummel TenTen at a moments notice." She frowned.

"Yeah, but I wanted that. He knows her lifestyle and she claims she didn't ask that of him." He sat up, the hand that held the book falling to his knee.

"Go on,"

"I also found out that he is one of the Daimyo's dogs." He paused for a moment as he contemplated her words. "Kakashi…"

"I'm thinking," he said for a moment as he looked off into the distance. "So what you're saying…" She nodded swiftly.

"What if—"

"We're found out." He completed for her.

"What if the Daimyo found out what we were trying to do, and is now trying to take us out? Starting with me?" He leaned back.

"There's contingencies that we take when we go undercover. Especially when Shinobi like us are high profile. The source Village that accepts the client is always hidden to protect our identities so that we won't be tracked, but even then."

"It's not unlikely. There's been no movement between me and Yuuki. Definitely none between you and Mei. I got into a fight with another dancer because of Sasuke. And he's the Daimyo. Anyone skilled could probably sense something was awry, especially since we've been here for two weeks and the wedding is in another two. He probably has eyes watching our every move." Kakashi sighed.

"First we find out the Daimyo is dirty, and now he wants to take us out. Can we not have a simple mission for once?" She chuckled.

"Considering the both of us are on it, you know our luck." He shook his head. "What's our next move?"

"To move quickly, if anything. We need the missing piece to take him down." She nodded.

"I'll get with Mei. Speaking of missing pieces," He looked up at her. "The war."

"Ah,"

"It's us. We're the missing piece. It has to do with our first escort mission. That has to be the key that we are missing to turn this thing around."

"You've been talking to Naruto?" She nodded again.

"Things don't look good right now." He shook his head.

"We need to finish this up and head to the real fight. We need to go back home." Something in her shook when she heard those words. Home.

What exactly would be waiting for them there?

---

"Haruka?" She inhaled and exhaled sharply.

"Come in," She called. Naruto peeked his head into the dressing room before his body followed and he shut the door behind him. She perked up once she noticed who it was. "Oh, Naruto." She said with soft eyes. He smiled. "How are you feeling?"

"Way better." He answered with a sigh of relief. She nodded and smiled.

"I would've loved to give you a week, a month in better conditions—" He held a palm up.

"A day was just fine. It did me a lot of good." After he and Sasuke returned from casing the lounge, he had Sakura put him to sleep. A day and a half, really. Honestly, he doesn't remember feeling this refreshed. In a better, more peaceful time, Sakura would put him to sleep for longer periods. So just to see how much a day revived him really spoke to how deprived he was. He stood behind her at her vanity. "How are you?" She exhaled, blowing her bangs out of her face.

"Oh, I can't complain. Just about to be the object of lust in front of throngs of horny men while all my friends watch." She said sarcastically. He bent over to match her gaze in the mirror. He pointed his thumb at his chest.

"I won't be watching you. I'd throw up." She stuck her tongue out at him. "But Kakashi and Sasuke will be. Throngs of horny men, you're used to. This isn't your first time on the job. I'm guessing it's them making you nervous?" She looked away.

"Maybe." He put his hands on her shoulders.

"Sasuke has seen you naked and Kakashi has watched you dance before. What changed?" Everything.

"I don't… I don't know, Naruto." He frowned.

"I know you have a lot on your plate, Sakura. Not only the war back home and the mission, you have the restoration to worry about. Not to mention…" She whipped her head back around to look at him.

"What?" He sighed.

"Kakashi. What will you do with Kakashi?" She furrowed her cerulean blue eyebrows.

"What do you mean what will I do?" He pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes.

"Sakura…" She crossed her arms.

"What, Naruto?" She huffed.

"Well, it's been a while since we had this conversation but now is as good of a time as ever I guess." He pulled up a chair behind her and spun hers around to face him. She frowned the entire time. "Now, you know big brother Naruto will always have your back with whatever boy decision you want to make. Well, as long as it's not Sasuke. Don't do that again. Please." She rolled her eyes. "I typically stay out of your affairs unless you ask but—"

"So stay out of it. Last I checked you encouraged me to go after Ren." She grumbled. He raised a finger.

"Aht, Aht. I specifically told you it would be between Ren and Kakashi. You chose wrong. Don't try to point the blame for that train wreck; nothing could get you away from that man." She turned her chair away from him and he turned her right back. He couldn't help the corners of his lips turning up into a smile. There was a time when the mere mention of that man's name would catapult Sakura into a deep depression. But now she can throw it around as a joke? That's progress. "But I'm serious, Sakura. You have the opportunity to choose right this time. What will you do?" She looked away.

"Why am I even talking about this with you…" She whispered under her breath as she looked down to her fingernails and started to fidget. He took a finger and lifted her chin.

"You already got everything you needed from Ino. Kakashi is who you would usually turn to for advice but I'm pretty sure that would be awkward. I'm left. Suck it up and let it out." She exhaled and looked to the ceiling. Her demeanor frustrated.

"Truthfully, I… I don't want to do any of this. I don't want to deal with any of this!" She blurted out. Naruto blinked, taken aback. "I'm scared of war. I'm scared that we won't all
make it out this time." She said, her voice smaller. "I'm terrified for Mei. We're only here a short time. We usurp the Daimyo and leave, but then what? We think he's just going to walk away from this quietly, like he won't have the dogs he currently has doing his dirty work, do everything in their power to continuously make Mei's life a living hell?" Her arms were outstretched now. She pulled them back in and sat them in her lap, her thumb lightly caressing her stomach through the fabric of her robe. "And I don't want to have a baby for him. I love Sasuke but not in that way. Not anymore. And to be a slave to this cursed cycle for the rest of my life? But I think I…" She trailed off as she met the Uzumaki's eyes. "I feel like I haven't gotten rest in so long… it's been a hell of a year. And I'm tired. But I think about how much I've lost…and also how much I've gained. And in retrospect I wish I could change so much of it. I wish I would've hand-walked our final mission report to the Hokage herself so we wouldn't have been saddled with that escort mission. I wish I carried the Scroll of Approval in my vest pocket. I wish we didn't slaughter hundreds of nameless Shinobi, I wish I didn't get captured, I wish I didn't use Ren as an outlet for all the pain I was going through and I truly wish I didn't use Ren as a replacement for…him." She rattled on.

"Sakura…" Naruto said quietly, wiping tears from the brims of her eyes as they threatened to fall.

"There's a lot of bullshit that I had to experience this year that I really wish that I didn't. But if I didn't, I wouldn't have known, Naruto." She whimpered as she leaned into the hand that now cupped her face. "I wouldn't have known that he was it, all along. Through the toughest times I've experienced this year he never gave up on me. Ever. He never left me, or abandoned me. Instead, he stood by my side and tried to be near me even when I pushed him away. He fought beside me and for me. To bring me back. Not just from the clutches of captivity, but back from the darkest depths of my mind. He saved me." The tears flowed freely now. "And even still—even now, he wrestles with the information that I'll have to give birth to Sasuke's offspring for the good of the Village. My burden afflicts him so much that he can barely face me. What do you call that, Naruto?" She choked out. His eyes softened.

"Love." He whispered. She nodded and pulled back, wiping the remnants of her tears with the backs of her hands.

"And what have I returned to him outside of pain and suffering?"

"Sakura—"

"His love for me has drug him through arguably the most confusing year of his life. He's not an emotional man! And yet he feels this, this sense of possessiveness and need to protect me. I've caused him to experience these feelings that are so foreign to him, that are so unlike him, all for what, my desires? Do you know all of what I've put him through this year? What if I'm just his Sasuke? Creating a sick cycle of pain and suffering on my behalf. How selfish is that? I've always been so selfish. Everything has always been about me. You guys risking your livelihood to protect me. Save me. What kind of life is that?" He pursed his lips.

"You don't think he knows that? You think he's doing this against his will?" She shook her head as she fisted her hands in the fabric above her knees.

"Why do you think…Why do you think I felt so indebted to Sasuke? I was so confused, I felt like I owed him something. That everything I did, I had to." She whispered as she looked down. "I wouldn't wish this on anyone and it's just better if I…" Ino's words pulsated in her ears. Was she sure? Not by a long shot. But what were her options? Put Kakashi in the most comprising situations on her behalf? She couldn't do that to him. She wouldn't. She would be content if she could just have him near her…

"Have the baby? Haruno I didn't go through hell and high water just for you to stop fighting." She took his hands in hers.

"I can't forget how much I've put you through, Naruto. Since you were this little." She sized the floor with her hand and smiled sadly. "It would be remiss of me to throw that away, but I can't think of my feelings. I have to think of the future and the fight ahead. We have so many. And just imagine the position I'd be putting you in as the Rokudaime trying to dispute this. I mean, the restoration of the Uchiha Clan?" He looked away. "I'm strong, Naruto. And no one believes that I am, so they feel like they have to fight for me. But I've got this, okay? I've got it." She squeezed his hands and leaned over to kiss his cheek as he avoided her gaze. "Now get out. I have to prepare to show my ass." She finished with a chuckle. He sighed deeply and stood, heading for the door.

"Haruno…" She placed her hands on her chest.

"I would be nowhere without your loyalty, Uzumaki."She finished for him. He nodded before leaving. She huffed as she sat back down.

This was the part of love that Hatsumi spoke of. It's so ugly and honestly leaves you with nothing. She was in love with Kakashi. And the admittance alone didn't free her. It only trapped her. Because he's willing to throw everything away for her. Everything. His career? And to let him…how could she? This wasn't the first time either. He nearly threw everything away just to bring her back from captivity. Not to mention nearly throwing away his life. He's proved time and time again that his love for her made him reckless. So it wouldn't be the last.

She grabbed a brush from the vanity and quickly touched up her make-up before shrugging off of her robe. She gazed at herself in the mirror as she ran her hands through her curls.

Unrecognizable.

Her thoughts turned back to the first time she had to assume this personality. It was scary at first; learning how to dance, unlocking this whole other side that she never knew she possessed. But in reality… becoming Haruka allowed her to shove all of her responsibilities and fears that she faced in real life to the back of her mind. It allowed her to be someone different. To avoid the person she actually was. Someone who was struggling with depression and mental illness, someone who was gripped by the clutches of the greater good of the Shinobi world, someone who was saddled with so much pain and heartbreak. She could just dance. For a moment, she could dance and be someone else. So she embraced it.

She had no definitive answer on how to conquer tomorrow, or the Daimyo, the fight back home or the fight for her womb. But today, she could do.

So when she heard three short raps on the door, she stood, shoving Sakura to the farthest corner of her mind.

Her future is uncertain. But today, she could do.

---

Stay tuned for Clash Chapter 25! Thank you for sticking with me. We're not done yet XD