Foreword: OMG, Maris Interlude!

Timestamp: Present day, right around the time of Volume 3, Chapter 8.

Epilogue (Interlude)
Until she gets an answer, Maris Hackard will continue to ask that question.

"Heya, Chris. It's been a while. I know." The tombstone in front of me didn't respond, and it wasn't like I expected it to. But I still felt the need to say something else as Chris's name silently stared back from where it was engraved into the stone. "... Sorry."

It had been a while. The last time I was here had been when Chris had been buried.

With that thought in mind, I reached into the bag I was holding to pull out a bottle. "It's not much in the way of apologies… but I brought your favorite." Uncorking the bottle of mead from the Hibachitei, I splashed the drink over the headstone, watching the stuff trickle into the ground before taking a pull myself.

It was my favorite, too, after all. Chris never minded splitting a bottle while he was alive, so it was probably still okay as he was… well, as he was right now.

After I swallowed, I dumped some more from the bottle over Chris's headstone before taking another sip. It wasn't a lot, obviously–even getting tipsy would've taken a lot more than this–but it was enough to make me remember.

It just didn't taste the same, these days. Didn't really feel the same, either. The floating feeling of being with your friends–family, really–the warmth in my gut that used to not just be the alcohol… these days, it was mostly just that, the heat and the rush. And I would've traded that away for that old feeling in a heartbeat.

I swallowed another mouthful, and paused. Chris's grave couldn't talk, after all. It was just me, but as I waited for the words to come in this one-sided conversation, nothing came.

Where did I even start? With myself? Or with how everyone else was doing?

I still drank with Umbar sometimes, but not really, not a regular thing like we did in the past. Still wrote to Yelena every so often–but not frequently enough to really be constant, not when I was always busy, running around and doing things.

–No. Not busy. That part wasn't true.

Even if I couldn't say it out loud, even if I couldn't tell Chris to his face how I'd let him down, I could admit it to myself. Something like 'being busy' wouldn't have stopped me, not if I had really cared about it.

I had just been running away. Burying everything under the pretense of being busy, having work, or telling myself that I'd respond later… all I was doing was kicking the can down the road, delaying the problem until another day so I wouldn't have to face reality.

–Coward. You're just running away. I had said that to Hikigaya back then. But how was it any different for me?

"We're not a party anymore." The words hung in the air, faintly echoing in the silence, before I realized that I was the one who had said them.

From there, the events of the past week spilled out as I stumbled over my words. The commission Hermes-sama had given to me, to go with Hikigaya to the 18th Floor to help Lulune. How the attack on Rivira had ended with Hikigaya almost getting killed. Evilus's sneak attack on Orario, taking a volley of acid to the face in Hikigaya's place. Dissolving the party.

–"Face it, Hackard. It's over." … Hikigaya had been right, hadn't he? It had ended a long time ago at this point. Since Chris's death, probably.

I lowered my gaze, suddenly unwilling to look at the grave as the emotions swelled in my throat. Tears pricked at the corner of my eyes, but I stubbornly tried my best to blink them away.

It was my fault, wasn't it? It was always my fault.

–"Schwartz is dead, Hackard. He made the wrong choice and he paid for it." Hikigaya's words echoed through my head with awful clarity, and my hands curled into fists. I wanted to refute them. I wanted to say that Chris had been doing the right thing and that it was just bad luck that got him killed.

But I couldn't. Because Hikigaya hadn't been wrong. It was the wrong choice. Chris hadn't given up his life for anything worth a damn.

And if Chris had made the wrong choice that day, he wasn't the only one.

The only reason we had ever decided to engage that Green Dragon that day was because I had agreed. All of that for a dead man's request. If it weren't for my choice, then maybe–maybe Chris wouldn't have died.

But I did make that choice. By throwing in my lot with Chris, I had ended up causing his death. And because of that choice, because of my choice, Chris had died, Yelena had left, and Hikigaya had nearly killed himself fighting in the Dungeon without stopping on that first dive back.

Because of me.

Even if I tried, I couldn't forget the way Hikigaya had moved in the Dungeon back then. The Hikigaya I knew–even now, 2 years later–fought like a machine: calculated, decisive, dishing out hits while avoiding or blocking them the best he could.

But that day in the Dungeon, he had fought like he didn't care what happened anymore. He had simply fought, moved, and kept fighting. Even as he started taking hits, all he did was keep moving and fighting, never stopping to heal or to take a break.

He hadn't been steady, or reliable, or dependable back then.

And now, he was going to be fighting alone again. Against that red-haired Tamer that had almost cut him in half, against those Irregular caterpillars that could melt him with their acid, and against other Level 5s and 6s.

And I couldn't do anything about it.

"Hey, Chris." Slowly, I let myself drop into a sitting position on the ground, slumping back against his headstone and staring up into the sky. "What should I do?"

There wasn't an answer, of course. It wouldn't matter how long I waited. Chris was dead. He'd never be able to answer the question. And sitting there, no matter how I thought about it, I didn't have an answer, either.

Eventually, I got up from the ground. Thinking about it like this wasn't going to do anything. It was time to go.

Before I left, however, as I stared at Chris's grave, the need to say something rose from inside of me.

"I… I'm heading out now. I'll leave this with you." Taking one last gulp of the mead before emptying the rest of it over his grave, I set the bottle down on the stone slab in front of the headstone. "Sorry for taking so long this time. I'll try not to make it a habit." Nothing had changed, but somehow, the words came easier than earlier.

"... See ya around, Chris." With that, I walked away. And for the first time in awhile, even though I hadn't made any progress or found any answers, it felt like for once, just this once, I had finally done something that was alright.

~~This is a Line Break~~

The following day, I found myself at the Guild, waiting for someone the way I'd been doing for the past few days. Sitting in the chair inside of Eina's booth that she had found for me, I leaned against the counter, letting myself doze off before a cry jolted me to my senses.

"Maris-senpai!" Blinking back to full awareness, I watched as Bell happily plodded up to the counter, an excited expression on his face as usual.

"Heya, kiddo." Reaching out across the counter as I got up, I patted the kid's head, and his expression brightened even more. It was nice. Compared to a lot of the other kouhai I'd dealt with in the past, Bell was easily one of my favorites.

Compared to them, he wasn't a very good adventurer. But he was new new, fresh in a way a lot of other adventurers weren't. It made him curious about things, and that meant he was always eager to learn. He soaked up Eina's lessons like a sponge and then took every word I handed him to heart.

Not to mention how cute he was. He was fluffy, and huggable, and always so happy to be adventuring. It was nice to just be around him, and talk to him. Somehow, he'd already burrowed his way into my world.

And he was kind. Kind, the way very few of us adventurers were. It was the kind of kindness that Hikigaya might've humorlessly laughed at if he ever saw the kid.

I'd seen him with that supporter before. I hadn't gone diving with them, obviously–it definitely would've messed up the party dynamic if I was there–but from the little bits and pieces I had seen, Bell treated that supporter like an equal. He asked for her honest opinion, split the day's pay with her at the 50/50 mark–something no adventurers I'd ever heard of did–and treated her the way he treated me. Like friends, or maybe equals, since they weren't as close. He respected that supporter and her skills.

There weren't a lot of adventurers who did the same–at least, not adventurers that new to the gig. It was different once you got to the Middle Levels and definitely past Rivira, because supporters would make or break a dive's success of failure and most people were smart enough to realize that, but Bell was doing so right now, when he hadn't even been diving for half a year at this point.

I could've knocked it off as him being aware of his own situation as a newbie if it weren't for the fact that he had asked me about Soma Familia. When I asked him why, he had said that Lili–the supporter–was a member of that familia, and that the situation wasn't great for her. That was why he had asked me for any information to begin with.

Because Bell Cranel was kind, and he wanted to help. And to me, that was something more important than what he could or couldn't do right now.

Even if he wasn't a great adventurer right now, he was promising. The kid had all the qualities on a checklist for Level 2: he was good at fighting, eager to learn, quick to pick up new ideas and incorporate them into his style.

Even if he wasn't good at thinking on his feet just yet, that was fine. That was why you got a supporter or other party members. Everyone had their own specialties; that was the whole point of a party, because otherwise you'd just dive alone.

As I watched Bell catch his breath after working through a swarm of Killer Ants by himself, I couldn't help but whistle in amazement. That was damn impressive, especially for someone Eina-san called "a complete newbie".

"How'd I do, senpai?" He turned to me with an excited look on his face that I returned right back at him.

"Great stuff! You were doing really good back there balancing being aggressive but also being careful not to be surrounded. Good situational awareness!" For that, I rewarded him with a headpat, which he looked pretty happy with. The kid liked headpats. I liked headpatting. Maybe the real adventure was the friends we made along the way.

We decided to take a break for the time being, and after busting a hole in the wall, I found myself sitting down to just chat with him. But it wasn't long before I suddenly remembered what I needed to tell him.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. But this'll be our last day for awhile." He looked kinda confused by that, so I did my best to explain while keeping things as vague as possible. "My familia's going on an expedition soon, so I'm going with them. Can't really be watching you when I'm deeper in the Dungeon, y'know?"

"Okay, senpai. Be careful!" He said that with such sincerity that I couldn't stop myself from pulling him into a hug, ruffling his hair as I did so.

"Don't worry, I will." As we separated and I looked at him, however, I felt compelled to say something else as well. "... Bell. You're a good kid." He looked surprised by my words, but I pushed forward. "You learn fast. You're determined. Both of those things will go a long way inside of here. But… if you don't mind, I have something to ask of you." It wasn't really based on any concrete, just a gut feeling. But I felt like it was important to say it anyways.

"... Don't ever stop being kind, yeah? The way you are now… I think that that's one of your greatest strengths. So don't… don't change that part of you, alright?"

As those words left my mouth, I blinked as I finally realized it. This. This was why I wanted to talk to Bell. That kindness, that earnestness, that straightforward and pure want to help…

He reminded me of Chris.

"..." I didn't know if I was doing the right thing or not. But there was something I wanted him to know anyways. Because kindness wasn't always enough. And sometimes, that kindness could lead you to make the wrong choice.

"But… be careful, alright? There's a thin line between being kind and being stupid. Think things through. Know what you might be risking or not before you make a choice. Please. Just… be careful." I tried to pick my words carefully, but you just couldn't capture a mess like that in words. In the end, that was the best I could do.

I must've had the dumbest expression on my face, because instead of nodding and looking like he understood, Bell just looked really concerned. "Maris-senpai… are you okay?"

I opened my mouth to tell him that I was fine, but instead what came out was, "I don't know if I'm doing this right or not."

The kid tried to protest, but I shook my head and stopped him with a hand. "I know Eina-san asked me to do this and help you and all that, but that's about Dungeon-diving. Not this kinda stuff, y'know?" I waved my hand at the Dungeon.

"When it comes to this… being you, being me, being someone, I can't say whether I'm doing the right thing or not. After all, I…" Umbar's missing limb. Chris, bleeding out on the Dungeon's floors. Yelena, riding away from Orario for the right time. "... it's not like I have the right answers, either. Not as I am right now. All I'm doing is taking things as they are right now, one step at a time. And I don't know if that's the right way to go about it. But… I thought… maybe, I could do something right and stop you from making the wrong choice, I guess."

There was a long silence as I finally managed to shut up, but instead of looking more concerned, Bell just looked thoughtful.

"Maris-senpai…" He stopped for a moment. "I don't think… well, I might not be the right person for this, but… do you want to talk about it? You've talked about your friendship with Hikigaya-san before, but… if there's something I can help with, you could just tell me!"

"Nah, it's not…" I faltered as I was reminded of my visit to Chris's grave last night, and my words stopped. …. I can't. It's not right to drop my problems onto him, of all people. "That's… not something for you to worry about."

I tried to wave if off, but instead of accepting the answer, he sat up straighter. "Maris-senpai, you've done so much for me. I don't know if I can help you with whatever it is you're dealing with, but… I feel like even any bit, even if it's just a little like talking about it, can do something, at least."

"I…" I tried to find some way to refuse, but there wasn't any. Almost as if he had opened some floodgate, the words came rushing out of me. "I don't know if I can ever reach him." There wasn't a name, but from the look in Bell's eyes, he understood who I was talking about. "He seems to think that just because he cares about me and doesn't want me to get hurt that he has to do everything himself. Always moving ahead, always leaving me and everyone else behind, running ahead as he gets hurt… I'm not saying that it's ideal, but I get it. But… I just wish that he wouldn't do it alone."

I paused for a second to blow out a frustrated breath. "But I don't know how to tell him, or get that through his skull. We're not a party anymore. And it's not like I can just chase after him when he runs off and hope that he slows down enough to listen to what I have to say. Or that he's even willing to hear me out." Because that had worked out so well last time, back in that Dian Cecht Familia pharmacy room, but I just closed my eyes and

There was a moment of silence before Bell spoke.

"... I think I get it." That wasn't what I was expecting, and it made me pause. For a kid so young, those words had that kinda 'weight' to them that meant that he really did understand, to some extent. "I can't really say that it's the same, not even close, but… sometimes, senpai, I really do wonder." Next to me, I watched as Bell tilted his head up with a sigh. "I… I don't know if I'll ever catch up."

Right. The kid had a crush on Aiz Wallenstein, Sword Princess and adventuring prodigy extraordinaire. Eina had told me that apparently, the reason he'd been covered in blood the day we met for the first time was because the Sword Princess had saved him from a monster.

Bell's voice was soft and hesitant, different from his normally eager and excited one. "Eina-san showed me her records recently. She's already so strong. And her Level Ups have happened so quickly. I… I just don't know how I could ever possibly catch up to her. I don't know if I can be the person I want to be so that I can stand at her side."

To my surprise, he scoffed a little. "I… I don't even know her, not really. Every time I've come face to face with her, I've just run away, like a coward. How can I possibly even hope to catch up with her and be that person if I can't even look her in the eyes while I'm rolling away in embarrassment?"

There was a pause before I watched as he went red. "Ah, s-sorry, I said too much! Just forget about that last part!" I watched as Bell flailed around, blushing red with embarrassment and did my best to stifle my laugh. 'Rolling away in embarrassment'... and from a 1st-class adventurer, at that… I could see it coming from him, too.

It wasn't long before he recovered, though, and his voice was thoughtful once again. "But… Maris-senpai, I think that as things are now… for people like us, we can only keep moving forward. I don't know if that's the right answer, but… I think that's it's the only way for us to do anything at all.

"Even if you're not in a party anymore, I don't think it's the party that mattered to begin with. Ah, not that I'm saying what happened in the party doesn't matter or anything!" Bell was panicked, clearly thinking that he had said something wrong, but I felt like I knew what he was trying to say.

His next words only confirmed it. "What I'm trying to say is… I don't think it matters if you're party members or not. You're still friends, right? I think that that's what really counts, senpai. Even if things have changed between you two, that's not going to change that fact or anything that's already happened. So… I think that all you need to do is to keep going, senpai."

Bell offered me a small smile. "One step at a time, right?" To that, I could only give a laugh.

He was right. Thinking about all of this complicated stuff wouldn't solve the problem–at least, not for me. That kind of thinking was better left for Hikigaya to deal with, honestly. Maybe he'd be able to spin up an answer where I came up blank.

Because even if I finished thinking things through, Bell was right. What had happened in the past had already happened, and I couldn't change it no matter how hard I thought about it. All I could do now was to carry those memories as a reminder, so that I wouldn't make that same mistake again.

Even if he ran away, I'd do my best to catch up. If he needed help, I'd help him. If that was all I could do, chasing after Hikigaya when he ran ahead and bailing him out when he needed it the most… I'd do it as many times as I needed to get it through his thick skull. I wouldn't stop until he finally understood.

"... Thanks, Bell." I hadn't expected it, but the kid's words had been exactly what I needed to hear. I watched as his expression, nervous and tense from waiting for a response, broke into a smile as I ruffled his hair, giving him a grateful smile of my own.

–Is it that you find my care for you unacceptable somehow?

Back then, in that hospital room, he hadn't actually answered that question. He had dissolved the party and argued about it the way he usually did, all facts and logic, but he hadn't given me a proper answer. But that was okay.

If that was the case, I'd ask that question over and over again, until I had his answer.

Afterword: And on that (slightly) uplifting note, we close the pages of this volume. Thanks for reading No Battle Scenes, the Finale (LOL).

Hi, it's me again. Welcome back!

Volume 3.5 is at a close, and for now I've told the stories I want to tell about the timeskip, so in the majority of Volume 4, we'll be going back to the present of Otherworldly (that is to say, immediately following Volume 3). There are still a few more stories that I have in store as ideas, but I'll save them for later down the line, when they're topically relevant and come up.

I have a tendency of not revealing too much of my thoughts or creative process while the volume is being published, because I feel like that will ruin, to some extent, the illusion of storytelling if I were to accidentally indicate the direction my story's heading in outside of what exists in prose. But of course, with this volume finally at a close, I can now pull back the curtain and invite you, the readers, to take a peek behind the scenes as to how I created these chapters–more short stories, really.

As you can tell, a massive theme of this volume was nostalgia. If you're ever curious, yes, Frieren had a humongous influence on the feels and vibe of Volume 3.5. I cannot understate how many times I listened to milet's "Anytime Anywhere" (which might as well be the theme song of this volume, honestly) and "Bliss" while writing.

The lyrics from "Anytime Anywhere" perfectly capture things, too: "Wanting you to smile/I hold onto memories I'd like to keep fresh/There's something I'd like to tell you/With words more precious than a goodbye". Like, damn if that doesn't sum things up for our beloved characters, right?

Overall, I think this volume turned out pretty well, especially since I basically got it done almost twice as fast compared to Volume 3, which took 4 months. I mean, this one also took 4 months, but there's obviously a lot more content to it, both in terms of chapters and things conveyed. Just by a quick tally, Volume 3 had 33.5k words, while this volume tops out at 69.9k words (not counting this chapter), so literally I've done double the amount of writing.

I'm pretty pleased with the results, if I do say so myself. Hopefully I'll be able to keep pace and get Volume 4 and 5 out before the end of the school year, but no promises!

Anyways, onto this chapter! Did you like it? I tried to make sure that Maris had a lot of that "Hikigaya-ness" to her, because he's definitely rubbed off a lot on her. She comes off as incredibly clumsy, but I think that's one of the best parts. That kind of awkward and clumsy but still… personal, intimate way of thinking and interacting… I thought it was very Maris-like and very Oregairu-like to do.

For this chapter specifically, the song that had the biggest influence was definitely Hitsujibungaku's "More Than Words". I feel like that song kind of summarizes Maris's characterization as-is right now pretty well, and it's just a really great song.

There's also, of course, the conversation with Bell, which I hope was convincingly Bell-like, if you get what I mean. I think one of the parts of Bell that doesn't get touched upon as much (but should, especially early on) is his internal doubt about his abilities. Isn't that part of why he's trying so hard? I thought it would add a bit more complexity to Bell's character to open up about his troubles (or what he thinks are his own troubles, considering that he doesn't know about Liaris Freese) to Maris so that the two of them bond. I thought it made for a pretty heartwarming scene.

Thanks for following me on this journey! For Volume 4, we'll be picking up about a week after Volume 3's Epilogue, on the Hermes Familia expedition that was mentioned last time! It might take me a bit to just get other things in order, but I should release the first chapter in February (if things go according to plan).

See you guys then! Thanks for reading!

Sincerely,
Oreo the Cookie