AN: Too many guessed right so complimentary Cyber Cookies for all! Roxanne is Roxanne Wolf from FNAF

Disclaimer: Bonesboy15 doesn't own Helluva Boss or Naruto. The following is a written work of fan-fiction. It contains adult language and situations. Reader discretion is advised.

Who's That Father?

Whatever

(Then: Beelzehaven, Rave Town)

"You're an annoying little shit, you know that."

Golden eyes glowered down at the not yet year-old puppy sleeping on her lap. Lavender fur that puffed out everywhere and gave her that hint of a fuzzy newborn puppy coat. Dammit, she hated that the little thing was so fucking adorable.

"Parking your ass on my fucking bladder. Falling asleep like you don't have a care in the world. Shitting a fucking biohazard...Pissing on my favorite top..."

At least got a new shirt out of it, though. The Dark Waters concert shirt she coveted from his closet was finally hers! Her fingers traced along the puppy's little paws as they kicked the air.

"...I hated your mom, you know. I was never happier than the day I heard they broke up. Fuckin' uppity bitch, thought she was better than us, growing up on the right side of the fuckin ring...Getting knocked up by your dumbass daddy..."

Her eyes burned and her lip warbled before she grit her teeth.

"No. No! You could be Vortex's. He just, he couldn't let you die...Fucking thought Vortex was fucking decent, raised right and shit. Fuckin' asshole."

She stared down at the little lavender pup and tried so hard to match any feature she could of the burly black Hellhound onto it. Her jaw started to hurt and her eyes burned some more. All she saw when she looked past the lavender was him. His rounder face, his sleeker snout, his little nose.

"Dammit. Fuckin...S'not fuckin fair."

She whimpered and carefully cradled the little puppy. She rubbed her head against its little face and choked back a sob.

"I could handle it if you were just his. With his ugly fuckin' coat and his dumb weird eyes and his stupid little nose. I could pretend, then. But you're just not, and...fuck, I don't want you to be hers. I saw him first. I found him first. He was mine and she...your bitch of a mom stole him. Used him, took him away and then tossed him out when she thought she found somethin' better and it almost fuckin' broke him."

Seventeen-year-old Roxanne Wolfsbane curled up on the couch with the puppy that belonged to her crush. He was the first boy that didn't treat her like a freak for being so freakishly tall, for having Goetia power coursing through her veins but not a hint of talent for magic, for having spastic bursts of irrational anger because of biological shit outside of her control. For the first time in years, she allowed herself to cry and nuzzled her head against the sleeping puppy.

"It's just not fuckin' fair, puppy. I wanted him...I wanted you to be mine."

(Now: Beelzehaven, Rave Town)

Walking out of The Bowl, the diner owned by a family of Akita-like Hellhounds, and back toward Business Boulevard, Loona felt like she'd never have to eat again in her life. She discreetly ran a hand over her flat stomach. It didn't feel like she'd ballooned out, but fuck if it didn't feel like she'd put on fifty pounds from the great meal she had. Beside her, her date muffled a deep belch. He was even courteous enough to keep his muzzle averted on that first post-burp breath, something her previous dates were incapable of.

"Pardon." He chuckled at himself before he glanced at her. "Well, I think that meal spoke for itself."

"I feel like I'm going to explode." She muttered before she let out a burp that was not flattering in the slightest. Sure it gave her some relief from the bloated feeling, but it was not attractive. Her ears flushed and she looked away. "Sorry."

"For natural biological functions? Don't sweat it, it happens–" Naruto started to say and cut himself off when his watch vibrated. Not an exceedingly common thing that happened during lunch, but he'd cut himself off mid-story several times to respond to a text or check a number. Kind of rude, but Loona guessed from listening to Blitzø's bitching that running a business wasn't easy. In this instance, he arched an eyebrow and pulled his phone out. "I gotta take this. Two seconds."

"Whatever." Loona sighed and pulled her own phone out to tag her location and leave the place a bomb review. She didn't openly stare at him while he was on his phone this time, but kept her notched ear turned in his direction. Her tail swayed a bit when he answered his phone with that same suave professionalism he'd used on her when he barged into I.M.P. and her life two weeks ago.

"Principal Sheppard! To what do I owe this pleasure?" Naruto asked before he stopped walking. She followed suit and glanced at him. Her brows shot up; his eyes were scrunched, his lips twitched like they wanted to pull back, and his big dark paw fell from his pocket to ball curl into and relax out of a fist, like he was going to squeeze something. "Is that right? ...Well, did she win? ...Donovan, you and I both know that it fucking matters."

A long silence passed before his near-snarl relaxed and his tail wagged. Loona snorted and went back to writing her review. She jumped when he barked out a laugh.

"Did she really–? ...Yeah, yeah, I'm just fucking sure the school board will go into a tizzy. Heard all that shit last week." His smile fell and he snarled, again. "The fuck do you mean 'suspended'? She's the one that was–! Well, who gives a shit if she broke a nose or two? ...Oh, fuck off! ...Yeah, I'll fucking come get her. ...I'd fuckin' love to see anyone try it. See you soon, Floppy-Donnie."

Naruto hung his phone up and grumbled to himself under his breath. He let out another sigh and then looked at her with a smile. Not the usual one that made her melt, but a fake one. One that she saw on a lot of pups back in the orphanage. Shit, she still saw it now in public or at the rare party she went to.

"So," he said as he pocketed his phone. Wait, was-oh hell no, she was not going to be left hanging. She was too fucking curious now. "I hate to do this, but unless you want to come with me to pick Himawari up–"

"I don't mind." Loona shrugged as she pocketed her phone and crossed her arms. He blinked at her and the fake smile fell away. Loona almost smirked. Yeah, your turn to be pleasantly surprised handsome. Instead, she tilted her head and stared at him. "So, what happened? She got into a fight over some chicken nuggets or something?"

"Uh...Retaliating, actually. Another name-calling thing." He blinked again before he shook his head. "Sorry, are you sure you want to–?"

"Did I fucking stutter? Yes, Naruto. I'll come with you to pick up your puppy." Loona smirked as she put a hand on her hip and leaned back on a leg. "I heard half of the conversation and I'm fucking curious. Sue me."

"...Don't think you want to afford the fees I'd charge you." He slowly smiled back at her while his tail wagged. She tried to ignore the way her ears burned and kept a lid on the way her tail wanted to swish about. He nodded up at the approaching intersection when they started walking again. "Alright. C'mon, it's a brisk walk after this left."

"How brisk are we talking?"

"About three or four minutes."

"That's pretty convenient."

"Most parentless pups live in Rave Town." Naruto shrugged. He glared into an alley as they walked past. A glance in and she saw a bunch of angry little red or blue eyes. Geez, some pack pups ran young. "That's why there's so many Packs running rampant."

Loona hummed and kept pace with him as they trudged toward the school. She reflected on the day this far: She'd gotten ready and slipped out of the apartment twenty minutes before Blitzø even woke up; met the hot – and possibly bi-polar – Roxanne "The Rockstar" Wolfsbane that showed her one of the worst and cheapest ways to get to Gluttony; got 'first-base grooming' by her hot date before he took her to an amazing, warm and filling lunch at the coziest diner she'd ever been to; and now she was on her way with said date to pick up his daughter from a prior relationship. That might not even be his. That part didn't..she wasn't sure how to absorb that.

"Why'd you even keep her?" Loona asked before she could stop herself. Fuck. Shit. She didn't mean to say that aloud! She didn't mean to fucking say that at all!

"Excuse me?" Naruto looked down at her with a narrowed eye. Fuck, it would be hot if his glare wasn't aimed at her. ...No, fuck it, it's still hot. "What the fuck did you just say?"

Alright, new lesson for this asshole. Hot glare or not, Loona was no one's bitch. She got he cared about the pup, that much was thoroughly hammered in, but she wasn't going to back down and bend over for him…Well, she wasn't going to back down. The bending over thing was totally on the table. Or couch. Or bed. Hell, she'd even take it by that park bench right over there.

That would probably have to come later, though. Right now, she had to stand her fucking ground. Metaphorically speaking.

"I asked why you kept her?" Loona repeated herself as they came up on a rusted chain link fence that cut the surrounding area off from a dinky old playground just beyond it. "If she wasn't yours–"

"Himawari is mine." Naruto stopped to turn and growl at her fully. Her tail almost curled around her feet but she kept it out and her ears up as she growled back. So he had two feet and a couple hundred pounds of muscle on her, so fucking what? She could take him, he didn't fucking scare her. He bared his teeth and she returned the gesture. They stared each other down before his snarl diminished. "What the fuck is this about?"

"I was just asking a fucking question."

"Are you trying to find a way to get rid of her?"

"No, asshole!" Loona snarled. Like she would fucking do that! She could be a total bitch, but she wasn't a fucking monster. "I just want to know why you kept her when she might not be yours!"

"Does it fucking matter?!" He snarled.

"No! Yes?! I don't know, alright?!" She scowled.

"Then why the fu–?" He cut himself off with a snarl and rubbed at his face. "No, you know what? Fuck this."

"Fuck what?" Loona narrowed her eyes. Hot or not, she'd bring this cocky fuck down if he was about to switch it up and turn total 'asshole alpha' on her. She'd had it happen before on the few other first dates she's been on, but having it happen on the second was a new switch up.

"This is a stupid argument. It's a waste of time." He growled one last time and rested his hand over his eyes. He sighed and scowled at her. "Look, do you want me to call you a cab?"

"Are you fuckin-?!" She bared her teeth and stomped up to him to jab him in the stomach. "What?! You don't want to fight so you're sending me home?!"

"Wh-No! Anti-Christ, Loona—why the fuck am I even arguing with you still?!" He took a deep breath and spoke with a low growl, betraying his agitation. "Listen, I have to go deal with the fucktard they hired as a principal and check on my pup. If you still want to come, that's fucking fine. But we're done arguing about this-this fucking not-argument. I'm not going to argue for the sake of arguing. Not fucking again."

"The fuck does that mean?!"

"It means that if you're just going to be another fucking Roxanne, then this relationship isn't going to fucking go anywhere." He growled before he stormed toward the doors of the school. She stared at his back as the fight was knocked out of her. He thought–? Wait a fuckin–! That meant...Oh, fuck. Unholy shit!

He used to date fucking Roxanne?! Loona's jaw parted, but she kept it from dropping outright.

"Loona!" The bark has her snap her head toward Naruto. He had the door open and was staring at her, not glaring, but his hackles were still raised and his still stupid-sexy shoulders were still visibly tense. "Are you coming or not?"

"..You're not getting rid of me that fucking easily, you stupid sexy asshole." Loona grumbled under her breath as she flicked her tail. She strode over and brushed past him into the school with a firm hip check that had him stumble back. He growled as he caught up to her, a hand on his side.

"A yes or no would've fuckin' sufficed."

"And you could've told me I was with your fucking ex." She snapped back.

"Well to be fucking fair, we never dated...officially." He grunted as he led her through the hallways. Bunch of half-assed trophies and who gives a fuck achievement awards lined the walls. Like the puppies' parents or caretakers had to be convinced to take them to this school when there wasn't another one around in the entire ring. Naruto stuck his hands in his pockets as he took another calming breath. "We tried it. Didn't work out. Stuck with an alternative arrangement. That worked for about two more years."

"So, what the fuck happened?"

"She wanted me to come with her on tour."

"...And?"

"Aside from the fact I had a business to run and that we'd been arguing a lot at that point?" He growled again as his tail lashed the air. "She dropped the fact that she didn't want Himawari to come. Ever."

"...That...Okay." Loona frowned. That was...she could see how he would take that as a deal-breaker. Still, he wasn't entirely in the fucking right for what happened just now. "You know it's a fucking dick move to compare us like that, right?"

"...Yeah. I know." He rubbed his face and sighed. "I'm sorry. I fucking overreacted, but–"

"If you say anything about your puppy, you're just wrong. That will get you a fuckin pass only so many fucking times." Loona growled. He glanced at her from the corner of his eyes and then stared straight ahead again. His lips pulled up in a quick smile before they returned to the grimace he had put them in. Her eyes narrowed, she caught the change, brief as it was. "What's so fuckin' funny?"

"...The implications." He answered after a beat. She arched a brow.

"The fuck does that mean?"

"Means you're not sick of my stupid ass yet." Naruto cracked a smile and his tail wagged twice before it stilled again. "Fine by me. Now I get a chance to make it up to you."

Loona scowled as she tried to work out what he meant while they rounded another corner. He doesn't get a pass for the puppy...only so many–Oh. Her ears burned and she kept her eyes averted. If she looked at him and he had that stupid smile back on his face again– Angry sex was still doable in the janitor's closet, right?

"There's my Pickle!"

Loona looked up when Naruto's massive strides outpaced her until he could reach out and pluck the hooded puppy out of her chair set up against the wall. The puppy squealed and giggled as he pulled her in for a tight hug and huffed into her cheek like she was a line of coke.

"Daddy! Stop!" The puppy giggled and did her laughably pathetic growl that he returned with his own real one.

"Stop loving you? Never," he said with a chuckle before he rubbed his face against hers. He pulled back to grin at her – dammit, Loona was still pissed at his bullshit attitude and reaction, but her instincts were all about him being doting and shit. Being angry and horny was not a fucking fun time – and then planted another obnoxious kiss on her cheek. "My sweet Sunflower's blooming into an absolute badass!"

At that proclamation, the door cracked open and the Principal, a flop-eared Shepard-like Hellhound, poked his head out.

"Ah, uh, Mr. Uzumaki." He greeted the giant hound. Dammit, the size comparison was doing things for Loona. "Good to see you're here. We can get started on the meeting."

"Meeting?" Naruto's puppy frowned. The hound in question poked her nose as he grinned.

"Just a bunch of grown ups bitching because you're too amazing." He cooed and bit at the tiny purple-white paws that tried to swat his larger, darker paw away. He grinned and nuzzled the Puppy again, both of their tails wagging wildly. "Yeah, Daddy has to smooth a few ruffled coats because you broke a few pup's noses."

"They started it!" The puppy scowled over at the three other runts that were sitting on the other side of the door. Yeesh. One had a swollen eye, and the other two were cupping their snouts. Pools of semi-dried blood were resting on the floor.

Loona wasn't going to lie, she was impressed that the fuckin' five year old runt beat the three bigger boys up.

"Oh, I'm fuckin' sure they did." Naruto rumbled and glanced down at the three that seemed to shrink under his gaze. His tail swished once as he looked back up at his pup, then glanced at her. His eyes lit up and – what the fuck was he thinking? Loona knew that look, that was the same fucking 'I have an idea look' that Blitzø got every now and then that was really fucking stupid – he pecked his pup's cheek. "Pickle, Daddy's gotta go talk to the grown ups now. If I leave you out here with Loona, you promise to behave for her?"

...What. Oh no. No no no. No he was not leaving her with the Pup. She was not here to babysit!

"Miss Loona's here?" His puppy looked at her with her big blue eyes and her wagging tail drooped when their gazes locked. What was–? ...Oh, terrific. Her phenomenal first impression with the puppy was going to cost her that dick, wasn't it?

...What? Yeah, pissed she might be about his reaction to her mistake of a question – she would own that it was her fuck up that started the argument, but that's the most of the blame she'd take for it – Loona still wanted the DILF's dick. Both she and her instincts were in agreement on that.

(Then: Beelzehaven Orphanage)

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" A crowd of puppies chanted as they circled two others.

"You're just a puny! Little! Mutt!" A large Shepherd-like Hellhound Pup with floppy ears snarled as he drove his fist into the orange coated Pup's bloody muzzle. "That's why no one fuckin' wants you, Runt-O!"

He then yelped as a knee shot up and got him between the legs. He whined and crumpled to the fetal position while his punching bag rolled to the other side and got back to his feet. The little orange runt of the 'litter' glared at him with big blue eyes.

"Maybe, but at least I don't puss out like a bitch after one cheap shot! Wuzzat say 'bout you, Floppy Donnie?" Naruto spat blood to the side and then glared at the rest of the ten and under Pups around him. He bared his teeth and claws as a few stepped back and others stepped up. "Come on! Who's next? I can do this all da—yipe!"

A larger paw grabbed onto his scruff and he went mid-air fetal instinctively. He tried to growl as he was lifted up to look into the red eyes of a spotted Hellhound.

"Congrats, Uzumaki, you just won yourself another night of toilet-duty with that little stunt."

Aw, dammit, Naruto scowled and glared down at Donnie that was helped to his feet by another caretaker and ushered toward the medical bay. He didn't even do anything.

(Now: Beelzehaven, Cerberus Elementary)

"Right this way, Mr. Uzumaki."

"Yeah, gimme a sec, Donovan." Naruto walked over to Loona and crouched down to set Himawari on the ground and keep his hands on her shoulders. His puppy whined slightly and he smiled down at her for a moment before he looked back at his date. There was still a hint of fire in the Pride-native's eyes from their argument – he had to get Pris' advice on how he could apologize for that – but not enough of it for him to be wary of leaving Himawari with her. He gave his date an apologetic grin. "This is the not so fun part about being a Dad. Do you mind watching her for me for a minute?"

"...Do I really have a fucking choice?" Ouch, but fair.

"She'll sit and behave if I tell her to, but.." He leaned in as he covered his pup's ears with his hands. "You and I can agree that she's done good today, right? That this" he nodded at the still waiting principal "is bullshit?"

The she-Hound bit her lip and shifted her weight before she sighed.

"...Yeah, fuckin' whatever." Loona huffed and stepped up to poke him in the chest again. "But you owe me. I don't babysit. Got it?"

"Name your price...Anything you want..." He stood slightly and leaned in so their noses almost touched. The lingering fire in her eyes was really doing something for him, and her perfume smelled amazing. He felt his grin grow when her ears started to warm up and her arousal became apparent. He liked that smell, too.

"Anything?" She asked lowly.

"Anything." He nodded.

"...Pegging included with that?"

Uh, wait, hold on. Errors were made! He backed away at the challenging arch of her brow and she huffed a quiet chuckle. Dammit, she got him. It was wrong how much the smirk she gained turned him on. She reached up and patted his cheek.

"We'll table that for your next fuck-up."

Okay, that told him two things.

One: Loona was willing to keep giving this a shot so long as he didn't fuck it up again today.

Two: Loona was apparently kinky... and he had really mixed feelings about that.

Fuck...He really needed to talk to Pris so that he didn't fuck up again.

"Daddy, what's peg-legging?"

Naruto choked on his spit and looked down at his puppy that he had totally forgotten was present. She stared up at him with her wide, innocent, beautiful blue eyes. He looked back up at Loona, who arched her brow, smirked and crossed her arms.

"Yeah, Daddy." Oh, that wasn't fair, not only was he more aroused by the way she said that, but she was teasing him while she did so! This cheeky little bitch! He narrowed his eyes. She damn well better not–! "What is 'peg-legging'?"

Well, alright then.

To war.

"It's a grown-up game, Pickle. Really grown up," he smiled down at his baby girl and facetiously gasped. "Baby girl? Do you want to sit tight with Miss Loona so that she can tell you all about our lunch date we just had at The Bowl?"

"You two were on a date at The Bowl?!" Himawari squealed and her tail whapped back and forth against the insides of his legs on rapid-fire. He kept his smile up and looked at Loona, who was bright red from ear to ear as she stared down at the excited pup. His date caught his stare and mustered up the nerve to glare at him. He winked and pushed his now super happy puppy forward.

Yeah, don't try to beat me at this game. I'm a pro. He thought vindictively. "Yep, and Miss Loona will tell you all about it. And you two can pick dinner tonight."

"Dinner?" "Miss Loona's staying for dinner?!"

"Yes she is." Naruto grinned at Loona, who looked torn between being excited and furious. She thought she had him beat, she thought wrong. He'd been playing this game for almost six years already. He tousled Himawari's hooded head and then stood up fully. "Talk about what you like to eat and the date. I've got to go be a boring dad now."

Just before he ducked into the Principal's office, while Himawari began her excited chattering about food and the coveted dinner time meals they shared, he heard his date mutter a revelation under her breath.

"...That fucker set me up..."

You bet your sweet ass I did, honey. Naruto chuckled. If she tried to back out now, she would make Himawari sad. If she tried to continue a fight later, that would make Himawari scared. Either way, Naruto wasn't the bad guy...until he had to explain a suspension to her.

Additionally, he would get a reprieve from angry Loona for a few minutes – maybe they could both calm down a bit – and his little girl could bond with his maybe-future girlfriend.

"What the Fuck is taking-...Oh...him." One of the six other parents in the room looked up as he walked in. Naruto leaned against the wall and crossed his arms as the Principal went to his desk.

"Sorry about the wait, Mr. Uzumaki decided that a domestic issue needed to be resolved before he could deign to join us."

"Oh, fuck you, Donovan." Naruto growled at Principal Sheppard. "The fuck is the point of this? You've made your stance on what happened clear."

"Some of us didn't get the courtesy of an explanation over the phone." A white and brown retriever-esque Hellhound huffed. He gave her a flat stare.

"My puppy kicked your puppies' collective asses after they tried to jump her," he said. His eye twitched and his lip curled briefly. No, don't get mad. Himawari handled it exactly as he told her to. ...She shouldn't fucking have to, but she did. "Explanation over."

"...Well, it's no wonder she reacted so violently." A Retriever-like Hellhound grumbled. Blue eyes narrowed and he sneered at the speaker..

"Oh, hey Sawyer, how's life at the steel mill working out for you – oh, that's right...You got canned for drinking on shift." He chuckled darkly. "Literally! How stupid do you have to be to fucking manage that?"

"Fuck you, Uzumaki!"

"Nah, still not into dudes. But if your poor missus wants some compensation for her...lackluster love life..." He winked at the cute collie playfully and she flushed. He wasn't going to do anything, but hey, he found a potential backup in case Loona didn't want to stick around with his stupid ass. Sawyer's hackles rose up as he snarled. Principal Sheppard slapped his desk and growled.

"Enough! This meeting isn't to resurface old schoolyard grudges."

"Speak for yourself." Naruto deadpanned as he pushed off the wall. "This meeting is a waste of my time." He glared at the parents. "My puppy defended herself from your brats." He pointed at the principal. "This spineless shit even admitted it."

"It was an overreaction!" Sheppard snapped, his floppy ear folded back. He glared at Naruto, who frankly had seen scarier glares, and then pointed his finger at him. Oh, chills. "Your daughter broke two muzzles and gave the Johnson boy a black eye!"

"Right, obviously we need to talk about my daughter, who is five, because she beat three six-year-old boys. Boys that are one," Naruto raised one finger. "Bigger than she is. Two," a second finger went up. "Older than she is. And three," he lowered the first finger to flip the entirety of the room off. "Clearly dumber than she is." He lowered the middle finger and crossed his arms. "So, who knows? Maybe they're all Sawyer's bastards."

"Fuck you!"

"Quiet, Sawyer." The cute wife of the Hound growled and the retriever-like Hound slumped in his seat. Wow, talk about whipped. Uh-oh, she fluttered lashes his way. Shit, she took the flirt seriously. Dammit, this is why Naruto didn't do things like that. How does he–? Ignore it. Just ignore it. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore–Seriously?! She just licked her chops!

Nope, he fucked up. Time to bail.

"Mr. Uzumaki–" Principal Sheppard started to say.

"Save it, Donovan." Naruto snarled and glared each and every other parent in the room into submission – it was easier to cow the wives than the husbands; save for Jerry, but he always had a feeling Jerry was more open than he let on – before he glared at the Principal. "I won't fight the fucking suspension, I know a lost cause when I see it, but none of you spineless fucks better even fuckin' think about pressing charges. Beelzebub forbid that we embarrass those poor boys any further than they already have been by losing magnificently to my daughter by putting them on a stand, having them take an oath in front of who knows how many cameras – because in case any of you dipshits forgot, I'm a household name now – and making them recount their ass-kicking. You want money? Wild Things is always hiring. You want my money, the money that is meant for my puppy, to feed her, clothe her and make her happy?" He narrowed his eyes and bared his teeth with his next snarl as he flexed his claws. "Do yourself a favor and skip the legal shit. Step the fuck up and make me a Challenge. I promise you, it will be your last mistake."

The room was quiet. The parents of the boys that got beaten wouldn't meet his eyes. The Principal himself was at a loss for words. Naruto huffed and crossed his arms.

"Are we fucking done here, Principal Sheppard?"

"...Yes, Mr. Uzumaki." He slumped down.

"Good. Because now I have to go tell my daughter that she's been fucking suspended for doing nothing wrong." Naruto grumbled. He was not looking forward to that flood of tears. He walked out of the office and slammed the door behind him. A snarl was directed at the three pups still sitting there. Once they were properly scared, he snatched up his puppy's backpack before he walked back over to where Himawari and Loona were.

Loona was nodding and giving a very forced smile to the enthusiastically talking puppy. Oof, she really didn't babysit, did she? Well, given most of her life has been spent in Pride's Orphanage, that probably makes sense. Maybe she won't be too – Nope, she's pissed. How does he know? The very instant she caught sight of him, she gave him a glare that would probably kill him on the spot if it was capable of doing so.

Regardless of the death glare from his date, Naruto smiled at her and let his tail wag – he liked the sight of Loona and Himawari together, sue him – before he put a finger to his lips. She huffed and rolled her eyes before she looked back down at the puppy, who didn't notice their quick exchange.

Once he was in range, he struck and hoisted his unaware puppy up from the ground.

"C'mere, you!" Naruto grinned at the squeal his baby girl let out. He cackled and spun her around before he popped her up on his shoulders. "C'mon, Pickle, we're going for ice cream."

"Ice cream?! Yeah!" Himawari cheered before she stopped and grabbed his ears. "...But Daddy, school isn't over yet."

"It is for you today, sweetheart." Naruto sighed. He smiled at Loona and nodded in the direction of the exit. She crossed her arms and stayed at his side as they walked out.

"But why?"

"Because you beat up three boys." Loona deadpanned. Naruto gave her a sidelong look at the blunt answer and she arched her brow. Alright, fair, maybe that was as nice as she was going to get for now. They'd just have to spend a bit more time together.

"But...But they started it!"

"I know, Sunflower." Naruto reached up to scratch at her side and back as she whined and slumped onto his head. She whimpered and a salty-smelling droplet fell onto his snout. Naruto felt his shoulders sag and he pulled her down to hug her – yep, big ol' fat puppy tears. He let her cling to his neck and nuzzled her head while she cried into his chest. "Oh, my sweet little Pickle. Shh, shh, it's okay."

"But they...they started it! I was good, Daddy!"

"I know. It's just...Grown up Hounds have to fucking ruin everything." Naruto grumbled and his tail lashed. Himawari whined and he stroked her back.

"'Snot fair!" She sobbed and rubbed into his neck. "I'm a good girl, Daddy! I promise! I promise I'm good!"

"Oh, I know you are, Pickle. I know." Naruto cooed as he pet her head. He glanced at Loona with a wince – she definitely didn't sign up for this – and mouthed a 'sorry'. She gave him a small smile and waved him off. While one hand held his puppy in place against him, he pulled his phone out and fired a text her way before he pocketed it again.

(U want to bail?)

(No judgment)

Loona looked at her phone when it buzzed and then gave him an arched brow. She huffed and her thumb tapped on the screen a few times before she pocketed the phone. His watch buzzed and he glanced at it while he continued to pet his crying puppy.

(And miss out on free ice cream?)

(U wish)

He glanced at her with an arched brow. Loona smirked at him. She strode ahead of him to the exit and he watched her hips sway with her steps. Damn those shorts looked great on her. This fuckin' tease...His tail started to wag and then stopped when his puppy spoke again.

"I'm sorry Daddy." Himawari snuffed and whimpered.

"No, Pickle, you don't have to apologize." He cooed and kissed her head. "You were very good. So good. My good little girl."

"'M sorry."

"I know, baby." He nuzzled her again. "Cheer up, Pickle. It breaks my heart whenever you're so sad. C'mon, what kind of ice cream d'you want?"

"...Bee-Scream..."

"Yeah? You wanna split a Monster Ball with Daddy and Miss Loona?"

"...Mons'r B'll?"

"Yeah." Naruto smiled at Loona as she got the door for him. She shrugged and followed him out to the steps. "We'll show Miss Loona what some real Bee-Scream is. Did you know she's never had it?"

Himawari looked up at him.

"Never?"

"Never." He confirmed with a nod. She whirled around best she could to look at Loona, hanging from him with one arm.

"You ne'er had Bee-Scream?"

"Never even heard of it." Loona shrugged. Himawari gasped.

"Daddy, she's never heard of it!"

"I know." Naruto grinned. "We better show her what it's about."

"Bee-Scream is amazing, Miss Loona! It's the bestest, sweetest, most deliciousest ice cream in all the Rings!"

"Wow, sounds pretty good." Loona smirked as she glanced at him. "You guys are really hyping this stuff up. Hope it lives up to it."

"I mean, you've been to The Bowl." Naruto grinned at her. Loona flushed in that cute bashful way and her tail swished a bit. "Shouldn't you trust my food instincts by now?"

"You drink coffee black." Loona grumbled as she crossed her arms. She looked at Himawari and cracked a small smile at her. "And we haven't had food together yet, squirt."

"But you're coming for Bee-Scream, right? She's gotta come, Daddy. She's gotta!"

"She is, Pickle." Naruto chuckled. He smiled at Loona and she flushed before she smiled back. While Himawari began trying to describe the gloriousness that was Bee-Scream, Loona pulled her phone out and tapped at the screen a few times.

Another text had him look at his watch again.

(JSYK this doesn't count as the 3rd date)

(Better bring ur A-game 4 that)

He couldn't withhold his laughter after that. Readjusting Himawari to sit on his hip with one arm to support her, he reached out and put his arm around Loona's shoulders. With very little resistance on her end, he was able to pull her against his side. Her tail crossed over his as they wagged out of sync.

And when Himawari got distracted by a midday blimp advertising the next Queen Bee Party, he bent over and kissed the cute secretary from Pride on the cheek.

"Thanks for coming with me today." He mumbled. Before he could pull away, she grabbed his muzzle and kissed his cheek in turn. He stared at her owlishly while his ears burned and she gave him the cute bashful awkward smile before she coughed and looked away.

"Thanks, um, thanks for inviting me."

He just knew he grinned like an idiot for the rest of the walk to the Bee-Scream shop. He couldn't help it. His puppy was happy and excited again – as all puppies should be – and a cute Hellhound he was interested in just kissed him on the cheek.

Naruto's life was almost perfect.

AN: Almost perfect? But what does that mean?!

Guess you'll have to stay tuned to find out.

Thanks for reading!

R.I.P. James Earl Jones. Voice of such elegant and famous roles such as Darth Vader and Mufasa. His time with us has ended, but his memory will last forever.