Hello.
Glad to have you all back for another chapter. We are making good progress! Getting these first few episodes out at least once a month is great, but I doubt we'll be able to keep this pace as we get into longer episodes.
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"Talking"
'Thinking'
"Host talking"
'Host thinking'
Episode 9
"So, they are left with just Sirzechs, Saji, and Millicas." Azazel tallies.
"And Sirzechs was just knocked down by Riser." Grayfia added. "Definitely something you won't normally see."
"And we are still waiting on Issei." Vali finished for them. "Care to explain what's taking him so long?" He says, turning to the fans.
"Well, I think it's a matter of the incredible distance he has to cover." Irina theorized. "At least I think that was the reason for Goku taking so long."
"I'll be there soon." Issei gulped, knowing that by the time he arrived, the battlefield would look...worse.
[DISCLAIMER]
KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.
(scene opens up with Millicas trying to wake up Sirzechs, who is unconscious from Riser's attack last episode)
MILLICAS: Mr. Sirzechs, wake up! You have to stop him!
SIRZECHS: (incoherent mumbling)
"The Maou ladies and Gentlemen" Azazel said before laughing followed by a few others. While Sirzechs sinks in his seat.
SAJI: Don't worry, Millicas! Issei's never let us down! I'm sure he'll be here any second!
(scene cuts to Issei eating food at Princess Snake's castle at Other World)
"Oh come on!" Issei cried out. "I'm not that bad! And neither is Goku!"
"Seems you lack self-control." Vali said in a mocking way getting chuckles from everyone else.
"Now now." Akeno cooed. "It just shows that Issei could not resist spending more time with me." She trills giving Rias a playful look.
ISSEI: (with his mouth full) Thanks for the food again, Princess Snake!
PRINCESS SNAKE: Well, it's the least I could do for trying to eat you like that. But I thought there was... (ISSEI: Hmm, bacon!) something else you had to do? Something about Saiyans...and the Earth?
(Issei gulps down his food and takes a long pause)
(scene cuts to Issei running on Snake Way)
ISSEI: Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap!
"You better move your ass Hyoudou or we're good as dead!" Saji yelled shaking his fist at Issei while Grayfia was glaring at him.
[OPENING SEQUENCE]
(scene shifts to Millicas still trying to wake up an unconscious Sirzechs)
MILLICAS: Mr. Sirzechs, get up! Please, get up! Seriously, he's gonna kill us!
RISER: Well, the green guy's out. Too bad. Guess I'll have to find someone else to play with!
SAJI: (thinking) Please not me! Please not me! Please not me! Please not me! PLEASE NOT ME!
RISER: Eenie-meenie-minie-(to Millicas) you.
"What!" Rias and Grayfia cried out.
MILLICAS: Wh-What?! (Riser kicks Millicas) AUGH!
(Millicas gets sent flying into a boulder and lands on the ground)
SAJI: (off-screen) WHOOO! Not me! (notices Millicas does not get up) Millicas? (Riser looks towards Saji) Uh-oh! Thought that would have lasted longer!
Saji could feel the glares aimed towards him, as if they were burning holes through his skin, making him slide down as much as possible.
RISER: Midget's next! (charges after Saji) RHAAAA!
SAJI: (desperately) Wait! My turn! My turn! My turn!
RISER: Oh! (suddenly stops dead in his tracks)
VALI: What- Riser, what are you doing?
RISER: It's his turn, Vali. I have to wait for him.
"Hmmm. That's actually clever Saji." Sona said. "Taking advantage of your opponent's simple mind to trick them." Her words made Saji perk up. "But it's only good if you can actually take full advantage of it." that made him go flat again.
VALI: (stammers in complete confusion while his nose starts to bleed)
RISER: You okay, Vali?
VALI: Yes just...just an aneurysm out of sheer stupidity...
"I feel that here." Vali groaned as he held in face in his hands. "Thankfully I'm more durable and don't get aneurysms that easily
RISER: Wow, didn't think you were that stupid, Vali.
(Vali screams in frustration)
VALI: (struggling to restrain his temper) Nine minutes, eighteen seconds... Nine minutes, eighteen seconds...
RISER: What's that, Vali?
VALI: Happiest...moment...of...my life.
SAJI: Hey! STOP TREATING ME LIKE A JOKE, DAMMIT! I've got a new technique- (begins charging his Destructo Disc) Which I probably could have used earlier and maybe saved all of our friends' lives... But, that's besides the point! Get ready for my DESTRUCTO DISC!
"You took too long to take advantage of the opening you created." Sona lectured Saji, making the sandy blond sulk deeper in his seat.
SIRZECHS: (barely alive) Laaame...
"You use the last of your life to throw an insult?" Grayfia asked stockily as Sirzechs could only chuckle and shrug his shoulders.
"Not much else he can do at this point" Azazel commented
SAJI: Now, take THIS! (throws Destructo Disc at Riser)
RISER: Ooo! A frisbee, Vali!
VALI: Riser, no! It's a trick!
RISER: But Vali, Trix are for kids.
VALI: ...You know what, Riser? On second thought, catch it. Catch it with your teeth.
Everyone looked at Bikuou, making him turn around.
"What?" He asked.
"We're wondering if you're that stupid as well." Kuroka spoke up, grin on her face.
"Screw you guys!"
RISER: Yay, like a doggy! Bow-(gets cut by the disc, which rebounds towards a small mountain) Ow!
RICOLA GUY: Riiiicolaaaa... (The disc cuts the top of the plateau off, causing it to fall) OH, GOD DAMN IT! (the top collapses into a pile of rubble)
"Uhahah...whoops...sorry about that" Saji laughed nervously.
"Sooo close" Vali said hoping the attack would lop the annoying bastards head off.
RISER: (seeing the cut on his face) Oh no! My face! My precious modeling career!
(Remembers having his photo taken for a Vogue magazine)
Rias felt like throwing up, while Ravel buried her head in her hands.
"It sucks how I can see him doing this." Rias groaned in disgust.
"He actually did brag about being model level handsome one time." Ravel groaned. "But this is just ridiculous."
"Well I have to say it's nice to see that face of his all messed up." Issei chuckled.
"Same." Vali nodded.
RISER: You know, I was trying to be a team player. (begins charging a blast) Trying to be a nice guy!
SAJI: You killed half our friends!
RISER: I said, "trying!" (throws blast at Saji)
SAJI: Well you're failing- Oh, God! (gets hit by Riser's blast)
(Saji Owned Count: 8)
RISER: And so are you!
SIRZECHS: I'm back! (shoots Riser in the back)
RISER: AAAAAUGH... Iseewhatyoudidthere.
"That's what you get for underestimating me." Sirzechs declared puffing his chest out.
SIRZECHS: Now, it's you and me, big guy! And I'm gonna kick your a-
(Millicas, also regaining conscious, kicks Riser into a pile boulder)
MILLICAS: Take that, you insufferable f*king simpleton!
SIRZECHS: WHOA, Millicas! What the hell?!
The audience was just as shocked, though in different ways. While all of them were surprised at the swearing that came out of nowhere, Grayfia and Rias were more angry surprised.
"Millicas!" Grayfia scolded. "There is no reason for you to use such language!"
"But mother, I didn't." Millicas pouted.
MILLICAS: (calmed down) Oh? Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Sirzechs, I didn't mean to snap like that!
SIRZECHS: No, stay snapped! STAY SNAPPED- (Riser recovers from the attack) Augggh, God damn it...
RISER: (growls) You-a-making-me-so-mad! (begins charging up a powerful blast while Millicas stands still, completely paralyzed in fear)
RISER: Vali, look, "Imma firing my-" (face turns into Shoop the Whoop) BLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!
"That joke." Issei groaned.
(Millicas still does not try and dodge the blast and stands still, paralyzed with fear)
SIRZECHS: (thinking while running towards Millicas) Alright, it's time to redeem myself- through one final act of redemption. (appears in front of Millicas to protect him from Riser's attack) I'll save Millicas and- Wait a second, why didn't I just grab him? I can probably still do that now, actually! Yeah, that's it, I'll grab him and throw him out of the way- (gets hit by Riser's blast) GAAAAAAAAAAH!
"Reaaaally should have done that first." Sirzechs groaned. "I know that I would first grab Milicas and take him to a safe spot first."
"I would believe that you would first make sure he's nowhere near a battleground in the first place." Grayfia interjected, narrowing her eyes at Sirzechs.
"Yes of course." He replied quickly.
(a giant explosion occurs, which causes a giant shockwave)
SAJI: WAAHAA!
(smoke clears, revealing that Sirzechs is still alive, but mortally wounded)
SIRZECHS: Yeah, that's right, I can take anything you can dish o- (in his thoughts) oh, God, there go my organs. (falls to the ground)
MILLICAS: Mr. Sirzechs!
SIRZECHS: (weakly) Unh... Millicas...come closer... There's...something...I have to tell you...
MILLICAS: Is it that you always pictured me as a son, because you can never make your own- considering you lack the reproductive organs to produce your own legitimate offspring?
"But you are my son." Sirzechs pouted.
"Not there. That version is Issei's son." Millicas replied, making the crimson devil glare at Issei, who tried to hide in his seat.
SIRZECHS: (weakly) Neeeeerrrrrrd.
MILLICAS: Wh-what?
SIRZECHS: Just...shut up and...listen.
MILLICAS: What is it, Mr. Sirzechs?
SIRZECHS: (weakly) Why...didn't...you... (at the top of his lungs) DOOOOOOOODGE?! Bleh. (dies)
Members of the audience lowered their heads in respect, never expecting to see Sirzechs actually fall in battle, even if it was an alternate version.
"You know he has a point." Bikuou spoke up. "If the kid didn't just stand there, he wouldn't have had to jump in at all..." he trailed off as he felt an increase in intensity in the atmosphere of the room. He looked around to see glares leveled at him. At the same time, Millicas was hugging his father, clearly upset. Making Grayfia glare at Bikuou even harder.
There was a moment of rest before they continued to watch.
MILLICAS: NOOOOOO! (his scream continues to echo, eventually being heard at Michael's Lookout)
MICHAEL: Ugh! Well Ms. Ophis, it seems my time has come.
"Interesting." Michael commented. "So, our life forces are connected."
"Hah." Azazel chuckled. "The holder of title Lucifer and holder of seat of God connected. Can't tell if that's fitting, or ironic."
"Well," Michael began.
"No!" Issei interjected. "We are not having that Red vs Blue debate!"
"Huh?" most of the older audience members said.
"Forget it." Issei sighed. "Just don't. We'll be here forever."
MICHAEL: But don't worry, my friend, you can go to Namek and wish myself and the others back with their Dragon Balls. It will be a long and arduous journey, but I'm sure you can-
MS. OPHIS: Bitch, I ain't going nowhere.
MICHAEL: But Ms. Ophis, the fate of the entire universe is-
MS. OPHIS: Pecking order!
"Big mistake thinking anyone can order around Ophis." Ddraig spoke up.
"You said it." Albion shuddered. "Reminds me of that one time some god tried that."
"Wait what?" Azazel turned around. "First I've heard!" his brother nodded in agreement.
"That's how bad they got wiped out." Ddraig said. "Not even a trace left."
"They were annoying." Ophis interjected, confirming to everyone that this indeed did happen.
MICHAEL: But... I... Well then... goodbye, my friend. (fades away following the death of Sirzechs)
MS. OPHIS: (zooms in to her eyes) BYYYYE.
Everyone backed away, they could see that a hundred times but still feel like thier souls where wrapped in permafrost from the sight.
(scene shifts back to the battlefield, with Saji helplessly watching Millicas mourn over Sirzechs's death)
RISER: Vali, did you see me kill the green guy?
VALI: (reading a magazine) Yes, Riser, that was a very good kick.
"That's how I feel being in charge of you two." Vali said pointedly to Bikuou and Kuroka.
RISER: Daww, Vali! You weren't watching! Can you at least watch me kill the toddler?
VALI: Ugh, fine! (throws magazing at the ground)
MILLICAS: GRAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! I'm gonna eviscerate you and use your gastrointestinal tract as a condom while I fornicate with your skull!
Most of the audience sat there in utter silence at the absolutely HORRIFIC and not to mention GRAFIC image the little devil had created from his words. Poor Rias and Grayfia were pale white like statues hearing their adorable Son/Nephew paint such a vile and violent scene with his sweet voice. While others of the less mature bracket, including Azazel were laughing their Asses off at what the kid said.
"Damn kid you kiss your mother with that mouth!" Azazel said between laughs.
RISER: (short pause) What?
MILLICAS: I'M GONNA SKULLF*CK YOU! MASENKOOO-HAAAAA! (fires a Masenko at Riser)
That erupted more laughter which eventually snapped the stunned Grayfia and Rias from their petrified state.
"Millicas!" Grayfia and Rias cried out in shock.
"It's not me!" The young boy protested. "I never heard of that expression before!"
"And you will certainly not say it ever!" Grayfia scolded.
RISER: AAAAAH!
(Riser deflects Millicas's blast into a plateau)
RISER: (while holding his hand, which is numb) Arrrrrgh. Bitch Please!
MILLICAS: I'm sorry, Mr. Sirzechs. I-I failed you...
SAJI: You sure did! I uh... I mean...sorry for your loss.
RISER: Well, it's been fun, kid-I mean, for me, not for you. As for you, everyone important to you is dead.
SAJI: Hey, I'm still alive-
RISER: Everyone important!
Saji just flipped off the On-screen Riser for that comment.
SAJI: (sadly) Damn it.
RISER: (raises his foot) Now, Riser Smash!
Those who have never seen Dragon ball where on pins and needles thinking the boy was done for and Grayfia closed her eyes not wanting to see her son crushed under the brutes' foot.
(Millicas and Saji both close their eyes, preparing for the worst, but Millicas is suddenly moved out of the way before Riser can crush him with his foot)
RISER: Oo-wa-waa? Hey! Where'd he go! Did he disappear, or was he never there to begin with? (dramatic music and screen zooms in on Riser's face)
(Millicas is shown to be on top of Flying Nimbus)
Issei smirked. "That can only mean one thing."
"He's stealing my thing." Bikuou pouted.
RISER: Oh, wait, there he is.
MILLICAS: Huh?
(Issei lands, finally arriving at scene of the battle)
The girls of the ORC cheered as Issei appeared, finally.
ISSEI: Hey, guys! What'd I miss? I-(notices everyone's corpses) Oh, are they all... Kiba... Sirzechs...? Motohama? Oh wow, especially Motohama... (notices Gasper's body is nowhere to bee seen) Wait, where's Gasper?
SAJI: Oh, he's here...and there...and there...and-
MILLICAS: Saji!
SAJI: What?
MILLICAS: Too soon!
"Yeah Saji." Kiba said glaring at his fellow blonde.
ISSEI: I'm sorry I'm late, you guys. But I brought some Senzu Beans for you!
SAJI: Woohoo! Thank you, Ex Machina.
ISSEI: (to Vali and Riser) Hey! Which one of you did all this?
RISER: That was me, totally calling it. (Issei is shaking in rage over the loss of his friends) I killed every single one of them- except for Gasper. He blew himself up!
(Issei continues to shake in anger and begins to power up)
ISSEI: (powering up) HHHHAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!
"Rival if you can do even remotely one favor for me. Is that you will shut this jibbering oaf up" Vali said while also being impressed by Issei's explosive power up.
RISER: Vali, what does the scouter say about his power level?
VALI: (Takes off his scouter) It's...one thousand and six.
"Huh?" Issei and Irina said.
"That doesn't sound right." Gorou commented.
RISER: Wha- really?
VALI: Yeah, kick his ass, Riser! (turns off his scouter)
RISER: YAY! (charges into battle with Issei)
(Riser gets beaten to pulp while Vali, Millicas, and Saji watch, completely shocked at Issei's beatdown)
RISER: (while getting pummeled by Issei) OOOWWW! Ow ow ow ow! Dah! Doh! Dah! Doh! Doh! Doh! Doh!
VALI: Hm, that doesn't seem right...
RISER: (faintly in background) My arm doesn't bend that way! My arm doesn't bend that way! (loud crunching sound is heard) Oh, now it does!
VALI: Wait, wait, wait, wait... Riser!
(Riser gets knocked over next to Vali)
RISER: (in pain) WHAAAAAT?!
VALI: I had the Scouter upside down. (once again takes off his scouter) It's over nine thousand. (calmly crushes scouter) Rah.
"Ohhhhh." The native japanese said in realization.
"Well this does confirm its more like the american version." Issei commented. "Because it's supposed to be eight thousand. Uncultured swine."
RISER: Why do you sound so bored?!
VALI: Because, Riser, it's still not a threat.
RISER: But-
VALI: To me. Besides, once we get the Dragon Balls, we'll just wish for immortality! Then no one will be able to stop us.
ISSEI: Wait, what? But you killed Sirzechs.
"Still wrong to think happened." Rias said.
VALI: And your point is...?
ISSEI: Well, if he's dead, the Dragon Balls don't work.
VALI: Wh... what?
RISER: Oh, and I totally killed that guy. Oh well, at least we still had fun getting here, right, Vali? (Vali growls in anger) Vali? Remember the bug planet? (Vali continues growling in anger) Vali? Vali? Vali? Vali? Vali? Vali? Vege- (scene cuts to Riser getting killed by Vali) AAAAAAAAAGH! (gets obliterated in an explosion as Vali is last seen staring at the sky and giving an evil smirk)
[ENDING SEQUENCE]
"Ohhhh yes." Vali shivvered in excitement. "The idiot is finally gone!"
"That's my brother you're talking about!" Ravel cried out.
"Is he that stupid in real life." Vali asked.
"No."
"Then nothing to worry about." The White Dragon Emperor shrugged.
"That's not the point Vali." Issei interjected.
"Whaaatever." He said. "Now we get to the real fight." He grinned. Everyone else just sighed at his obvious battle lust.
'Be careful what you wish for' Issei thought knowing full well how the battle with Vegeta ended for him and how it will end for Vali.
Once again, many thanks to everyone for following along.
Seems like no one got the reference last chapter. The whole thing with Whales, we made a reference to Good Omens. Specifically, the scene where God starts ranting to Job about everything that went into creation, and Job walks away remembering how proud God was with the whales.
That's it for now. Please Favorite, Follow, and Review. But most of all, thank you for reading!