When you come to your senses you are curled into a ball with your head under a pillow with light snores coming from beside you. Uncurling yourself, your bones crack causing you to groan softly from being in such a position for a while. Sitting up, you look around trying to remember which door leads to the bathroom. Carefully slipping out of the bed, you wince having to walk on your feet, but there's no way in hell you're about to ask for help. It takes too long for your liking to get to the bathroom door, but you eventually do and you're able to relieve your very full bladder.
As you wash your hands, you glance up into the mirror and are taken aback by your reflection. You had only been able to see yourself in the reflection of the glass in the basement but never in a mirror. Its quite a bit different than looking at yourself in glass and you find that you like what you see. While you were in the bathroom, Bucky had woken up and quickly searched for you in the bed after finding the spot you had previously been in cold. He had finally seen the light in the bathroom on, so he waited for you to come out… and continued to wait. After fifteen minutes though, Bucky twisted the doorknob to find it unlocked thankfully so he cracks it open.
"Doll, are you alright?" Bucky calls out in a somewhat rough voice from sleeping.
Unbeknown to Bucky, you had gotten too tired to walk back to the bedroom, so you sat down against the bathtub and fell back to sleep. Bucky can see your slightly slumped sleeping form on the floor from the mirror. Pushing the door open, Bucky walks over and carefully picks you up, startling you awake.
Bucky begins to shush you immediately, soothing you instantly with his voice. "It's okay, doll. I'm taking you back to bed."
You rest your head against his shoulder and as Bucky lays you down in bed, covering you back up he situates himself in bed. Neither of you two wake up until the next morning which finds you curled up into a ball once again while Bucky is nowhere to be seen. Judging by the opened door to the bathroom he's not in the bedroom at all which relaxes you and puts you on edge at the same time.
Meanwhile Bucky had woken up in the early morning hours, unable to sleep any longer as certain things had bothered him. He had been reluctant to leave you at all as in your sleep the two of you curled yourselves around the other and you're now clinging to him as you mumble softly in your sleep. Carefully, he detangles limbs and soothes you softly as you begin to stir.
When Bucky is able to slip out of bed, he doesn't bother with changing clothes just yet instead just walking down to the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. Steve is sitting at the island looking intently at his laptop raising his own cup of coffee to his mouth.
"Just wake up?" Steve asks tiredly, his eyes not leaving the screen.
Bucky lets out a grunt of confirmation as he's not much of a morning person and especially not before having his first cup of coffee. Being his best friend for so many years, knows this tidbit and waits until he's stirred in sugar and cream and taken his first sip.
"Hurry up and drink that," Steve demands, as he stands for a refill for himself.
Bucky nods as he brings his coffee mug to his lips and takes a drink. "Did you even sleep?"
"Yeah," scoffs Steve. "I just don't need as much sleep as you clearly do. Anyways," Steve puts his coffee mug down and beckons Bucky over, "you need to see this."
Downing the remaining of his coffee, Bucky walks to the other side of the island to Steve's laptop to see multiple tabs pulled up on his screen. Judging by a few of the pulled-up screens, he was able to find what Bucky had requested of him last night.
"You might need to sit down for this," Steve warns worriedly.
Steve had watched these videos and read everything three times over again and… well… being in the mob isn't for the faint of heart by any means and he's done some shit and seen some shit and gone through some shit…
"I can't be sure until I am able to clear up one of the videos but from the looks of it… it's the girl," Steve tells Bucky before selecting the video.
"No!" screams a girl through the video. "Let me go! Get off me!"
The girl sounds younger admittedly, looks younger as well but still has the same characteristics as Bucky's girl laying in his bed.
Two men are dragging the naked young girl towards a clear looking bathtub that contains chains and straps. While the girl is quite small, she puts up one hell of a fight for the two men which make it a struggle to keep her under control.
"Please! No! Not again!" she cries out.
Someone zooms in on the girl's body, showing all the bruising and cuts on her body before slowly going back out of focus and goes to the men- never showing their faces but showing how they strap the girl down.
"Shut up and take it," growls one of the men. "Should've listened but you didn't."
Bucky watches as the men force the girl in the video down, continuing to watch as buckets and buckets of ice and water is filled up around her. Begs and pleas and cries sound out the whole time and it breaks his heart for her. The tub gets filled until it's almost completely to the young girl's mouth to the point if she speaks water will enter her mouth. You can see pure panic in her. To make matters worse they leave her completely alone for a half hour in the dark, loud sounds banging around to scare the girl, so she jostles and sloshes the water. Coming back inside, one of the men come in with an electric cattle prod.
"If this isn't her," Bucky mutters to Steve, "it's her twin," he shakes his head.
"That's what I thought," Steve replied. "The video never shows the men and since the views change and angles change, there is a third person in the room. If we show her the video, she can tell us who- "Bucky shakes his head.
"She isn't to know these exist," Bucky tells Steve. "She doesn't even know her own name, do you really think she'll know theirs?"
Steve huffs nodding. He hadn't thought about that actually. "Right. Uhm, well you're also not gonna like what's next, Buck."
"What is it?"
"There is another video, and it looks to be as if they were experimenting on her," Steve tells his friend quietly. "There's an older woman with her and she looks almost on her death bed. Obviously, it's speculation until we get answers from her but… well either they took that girl to experiment or to be a live in donor for the other woman."
Watching the next video, Bucky see's what Steve means and it makes him almost sick to his stomach. By this point, the sun is shining through the house now and the clock is reading nine in the morning.
"Send me everything and I'll take a look through everything when I can, no jobs for the next couple of days. I'm going to send for a wardrobe for her though," Bucky stands, walking over for another cup of coffee just as the housekeeper comes in with fresh bagels from the bakery down the street.
"Good morning, Mr. Barnes," the much older lady named Helga smiles brightly. "Mr. Rogers, I got you the asiago cheese bagels you enjoy."
"You're the best, Helga, thank you," Steve smiles, as he sends all the information off to Bucky's email and closing his laptop.
"Mr. Barnes I also got you the chive and onion cream cheese for your bagels," Helga informs him as she places everything on the counter and begins to work.
"Much appreciated," Bucky replies with a nod. "I'll take it and a couple extra back to my room. We're going to have an extra guest from now on."
You had just gotten back into bed when the bedroom door opens to show Bucky carrying a tray of food and drink.
"Oh good, you're awake," Bucky says closing the door and placing the tray on his dresser. "Fresh bagels and cream cheese, you like those right?"
Not really knowing what to say you simply shrug because back at the basement, they gave you dry toast every morning. Honestly you had been lucky if you had gotten an actual hot meal. Bucky files away your reaction for later and begins to spread on the cream cheese on the bagel for you. Opening up the Tylenol, he takes out two pills and places them in a little clear disposable cup before turning around and handing you a cup of orange juice.
"Take these, it should help for your discomfort," Bucky tells you and waits patiently for you to hesitantly reach out for the cup of juice and Tylenol.
Looking from the two items in Bucky's hand to his face a couple of times, you finally reach your hands out to toss the pills in your mouth before taking the juice and taking a drink.
"Good girl," Bucky praises, enjoying when you shift slightly as your face heats slightly under his gaze. "Now try to eat. I'll give you my laptop in a little bit so you can order some clothes." The look on your face must've been a funny one as he chuckles at you softly. "What is it?"
"I'm allowed to have clothes?" you ask innocently, completely shocked that not only did he tell you that you can have clothes- but they will be brand new!
"Of course, babydoll, anything you want you can have," Bucky tells you honestly. "You need to tell me everything though."
With that knowledge, the bagel he had handed you now makes your stomach churn as you look at it. "Everything like what…?"
"Eat. We'll discuss it after I check your bandages."
After eating most of your bagel and drinking some more of the juice, you try to stand up on your own but are quickly scolded by Bucky. Walking over from the chair in the corner of the room, Bucky grabs your items and places them back onto the tray where he then carries them out and comes back a couple of minutes later. Walking back in, Bucky lifts you gently into his arms and into the same spot he had placed you in the bathroom to take a look at your feet.
"Much better," he tells you softly. "Should be able to take those stitches out in a day or so. Then you'll be able to walk on your own."
"I can walk," you try to tell him, you know how much of a burden you are and being aware of that you certainly don't want to inconvenience him by any means. "It's nothing I haven't had before." And that is the truth, you once had a broken foot that Pepper and Scar made you walk on for a month before they finally took pity on you and fixed it.
"Doll, look at me please," Bucky demands in a soft yet firm tone.
Your heart skips a beat before thudding against your ribcage as you slowly lift your eyes to meet his own.
"Whatever happened to you before I got you, doesn't apply here," he tells you, his voice so affirmative and sounding so truthful that you almost believe him.
Can you trust this man though? A part of you wants to so badly, he hasn't given you reason not to, but with as much trauma you've gone through… great, now you're crying. Suddenly you're being cradled in Bucky's arms with soothing words being whispered in your ear to try to console you. After a few minutes you are able to calm down but now all you feel is embarrassed for your weakness.
"That's a good girl," Bucky murmurs, rubbing gentle circles on the small of your back. "Let me change your bandages and we'll get you back to bed."
Not trusting your voice, you simply nod in agreement and wait patiently and try to not show any more weakness when he wipes a particular sore spot. Once done, Bucky carries you back to the bed, tucking you in before grabbing his laptop and making himself comfortable in front of you on the bed as well.
"Okay doll, I know it's going to be uncomfortable for you," Bucky begins softly, making you look at him, "but I need you to tell me everything you can remember starting from the very beginning."
Your chest already feels constricted, and you haven't even started yet, but you swallow down your nerves and look down at the duvet that covers you. Shuffling through your memories, you take yourself back as far as you can. Vaguely you can see a woman with long dark hair and green eyes much like your own walking with you down an ally. The woman is dirty, and it looks like she's been up for days on end as she drags you by the hand. You tell this to Bucky; you tell him of this woman's description and how old you looked- no more than three or maybe even four.
The next memory is one where she's not in the picture at all, instead you're surrounded by different men poking you with needles and taking blood from you. Next to you is who you later find out is Peppers wife who you simply named Lady Pepper. They were testing you for something to see if you were a match for her and soon after that they had started to experiment on you. They never told you what they were doing so of course you weren't able to tell Bucky either. Saying every little thing out loud, caused a weight you hadn't known you were carrying around on your shoulders, lift. Every misdeed, whether it be small or large, you told him as he had instructed you to.
While you had told Bucky everything, Bucky himself took notes on his laptop to send over to Steve for later. Once they pinpoint the people who specifically did these horrendous things to you, he was going to do them tenfold.
"I'm going to show you a couple of videos that Steve found," Bucky tells you with caution. "I need you to tell me if it is you or not and if it is I need you to tell me who the men are."
Hesitantly you nod and watch as he scoots closer to you before pressing play. Your heart leaps as you see your younger ten-year-old self getting dragged to the icing tank.
"Stop it! Stop it!" you shout and cover your ears in pure panic.
Bucky instantly stops the video, that was all the confirmation he needed to let him know it was indeed you. "Who were the men in the video, babydoll? I need you to tell me, we're almost done and then we can rest."
You shake your head vigorously. "I don't know their names, just the names I gave them!" you shout at Bucky crying.
"Point to them," Bucky demands you. "Point too them and tell me the names you gave them and why."
"I- I don't want to watch it," you beg him. "Please don't make me."
As much as it hurts Bucky to hear you beg him not to make you do this, he needs you to so he can get closer to the men. While he does have a suspicion on who they are he does still need confirmation.
"I'm sorry babydoll, but I need you to do this, I promise we're almost done," he tells you in a softer tone.
After calming down enough, you point out the men in the room, telling Bucky the names you gave them and why. The last man however, he never gotten a name he remained nameless to you.
"Why didn't you ever name him, doll?" Bucky asks, something thick in his voice that you're not too sure of.
Keeping quiet for several minutes before raising your eyes to his, you reply, "he shattered my spirit and ripped out my soul."
A knock on the door stops any further questioning, you lay down and cover up with the blanket suddenly tired beyond belief. Recognizing the voice from the car last night, you deduct that Bucky is talking to the man named Steve. You don't care, you close your eyes instead and let sleep overtake you.
When Steve had knocked on Bucky's door it to drop off the ten bags of clothing and other items that Natasha, Steve's wife, thought that the new girl might need and like until she was able to get some things for herself. When Bucky had turned back after telling his friend thank you, he frowned when he seen you had fallen back to sleep. Taking the bags, he places them on the side of the bed for you to look through when you wake before grabbing his laptop and placing it on charge then opting to take a long hot shower.
Bucky recalls the absolute terror that your body and eyes held when he had to basically drag you to the bathtub literally in a full-blown panic. He's not too sure if you remember everything you seemed to scream or the fact that you fought until you couldn't anymore and even surpass what your body could do which resulted in him injecting you with the sedative.
Getting out of the shower, he dries himself and dresses in sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt before checking back in on you. There is a frown on your face and your breathing is coming in short, ragged breaths so Bucky walks over to kneel beside you where he takes one of your hands in his own and begins to talk to you. Minutes later, much to his happiness, you calm down enough that your breathing has returned to normal, but you still sport the frown. It's a small win in Bucky's book for now.
Deciding to follow your lead on the whole sleep thing, even if he doesn't feel much tired right now, Bucky decides to climb into bed just to rest his eyes for a minute or two. That minute or two turns into an hour and a half with his eyes closed where he had fallen completely asleep just to wake up with his face tucked in the crook of your shoulder. Bucky see's you're awake and stiffens as he isn't sure how long you've been awake nor how long he's been forcing himself on you in such an intimate position. By the looks of it, it doesn't seem like you're angry, but…
"I'm sorry," Bucky apologizes, untangling his limbs and moving a few inches back to give you space. "I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable."
"It's okay," you reply lowly, your shyness on full display as every inch of your exposed skin heats up. "I- I didn't dream…"
"Do you have nightmares?" Bucky asks, concerned, his hand tugging on your own so you turn over to face him now.
You ponder for a moment. "Hmm… a nightmare is one way to describe it I suppose," you tell him but even to you it doesn't sound right but whatever it is, it doesn't matter because while Bucky held you close- everything felt right. All the bad things went away even the nightmares.
A/N: Hey guys! So, I've received multiple messages about wanting to collaborate to bring my ideas into a piece of art which I find absolutely amazing! However, I have not replied to anyone as I honestly never done anything like this before and don't even know where to begin. That being said, if you guys really want to try to create a piece of work just message me your idea's and how you'd like to go about this. I would love to see what we can come up with. Thank you for all your support!