Ok so Pat may have made a mistake.
Apparently letting go the biggest discovery in history, other than maybe Aliens being real, due to a code of honor does not go well with the big suits of the United States government.
Apparently.
So that's where he finds himself, in a room behind a desk as he gets a dressing down by a guy he doesn't even remember the name of "WHAT IN THE BLUE HELL WERE YOU THINKING AGENT 737!? YOU LEFT HONEST TO GOD PROOF OF GOD WALK OUT OF A HIGHLY SECURE FACILITY BECAUSE YOU FELT BAD?!"
The guy was nearly as red as the imps he met a few days ago, but as Pat tried to give a response the official slammed his hands on the desk right next to Pat's head as he got into Pats face "YOU'RE LUCKY YOU'RE THE STRONGEST SON OF BITCH AROUND OR I WOULD'VE HAD YOUR ASS COURT MARTIALED AND SERVED ON A PLATTER!"
The official then stuck his finger right in front of Pat's face "YOUR SORRY ASS BETTER HOPE WE FIND THOSE DEMONS AGAIN AND WHEN WE DO YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE THEM IN PERSONALLY OR YOUR ASS IS MINE!!!" The official then left the desk Pat was sitting on and stood next to his own.
"AGENT 737 YOU ARE DISMISSED!" The official said without looking back at Pat. Pat rolled his eyes, gave a mock salute, then left the room.
As he closed the door behind him he sees his colleagues Agent 1 and 2 as they held a sympathetic look even with their glasses on. Agent 2 came up and placed a hand on Pat's shoulder "So how bad was that chewing out?"
Pat gave a shrug as the three of them began walking out down the hallway passing "Could've been worse if I actually cared what he thought about me or if I regret what I did which I don't. Did mention my ass a lot, that was kinda weird."
As they made their way into a part of the building that leads to an entrance Agent 1 got a bit ahead of them as he looked at Pat "Pat you really should care what General Green thinks, he's too important of a guy! He could potentially get us better funding for D.H.O.R.K.S"
Pat rolled his eyes as they walked out of the government building "Sure, only he could and not the mounds of evidence we had at the facility that captured the five demons on camera."
Seriously there is no way this government could be that dumb and not give D.H.O.R.K.S whatever they wanted. Literal multiple first hand accounts between three agents and one even got possessed!
The three reached a four door vehicle with Pat going into the back immediately as the other two take the front seats "So Pat me and Agent 2 are about to head for lunch. Want to come with?" Agent 1 said as he started the car and began to drive off.
"Nah just take me home, you can go on without me."
The two agents shrugged their shoulders as they sat in the car as it played some generic pop music. Seven minutes later they were at the outskirts of the town. Agent 1 pulled the car over by the side of the road. "We'll see you tomorrow Pat."
Pat gave a nod as he got out of the and waived goodbye. Once they were out of sight Pat turned and walked up the hill. At the top stood a small house.
It was nothing special, and he was fine with it.
Once he reached his home he sat down on a recliner in front of a TV. Pat then pulled out a small circle with holes on it. It was the receiver half of the button he gave to Stolas, once Stolas pushed the button it would send a signal to this half and it would let out a noise and some lights.
He hopes Stolas asks for that rematch soon, Pat is so very curious about the powers of the owl demon. But with that out of his mind he set down the receiver and turned on the TV.
He wonders what types of entertainment this Earth had compared to his old one?
Months later
As the days turned to weeks, then to a month, and then to months. Pat was very sure of one thing…
HE
WAS
BOREDDDDD!!
LIKE OH GAMI KAI HE WAS BORED!!!
With the evidence D.H.O.R.K.S provided to the United States Government, their funding and manpower had increased substantially. Hell right now the government is building a state of the art and experimental new base with, in theory, the ability to travel to Hell and back.
That's where the increase in manpower came in, with the building of something that important the U.S. spared no expense with hiring more security with updated weapons to actually fit the level of security required to protect something of this magnitude.
So that left Pat with even less of a role than he already had. But hey with the increased attention D.H.O.R.K.S was receiving that mean he could hang out more with the first two people he met on this Earth, right?
Wrong.
With the increase in funding and manpower came bigger responsibilities to Agents 1 and 2 with their promotions and all. That goes back to when Pat let the the demons go, if he would've brought them in when they first met than Pat would've also gotten a promotion along with the other Agents.
But since he had a heart and let the five demons go he was overlooked and ignored.
He still didn't regret letting Blitz and his crew go. Damnit he hopes Stolas calls for that rematch soon.
So that left Pat back in his small house and bored out of his mind. You can only do so much training until you start getting bored with monotony of it, especially without a good sparring partner to test yourself. Pat had to make do with the local bear population and even then they all began to avoid his little cabin.
Maybe it's because he picked the hobby of watching professional wrestling, they reminded him of Mr Satan. The bears must've gotten annoyed with him practicing the moves he saw on TV against them.
But today their was no show he wanted to watch, no bear to wrestle with, no training he hasn't done already, and no technique he hasn't mastered. (Seriously if it wasn't for the Multi Form technique he would start to really feel the rust.)
So he's just sitting there, in a tank top and loose fitting pants, on a recliner mindlessly scrolling through trashy TV trying to find something interesting as a he had a bowl of instant ramen. He's found a rerun of show about a Dr something or other like that.
He's not really paying attention to the show.
He unconsciously starts eating the ramen with a fork, like a heathen.
RING
"AH DAMNIT MY RAMEN!"
Not expecting that noise Pat is shaken and he accidentally spilled his lunch on his pants and floor. He groans as he gets up and then grabs some paper towels to start cleaning himself off.
RING
The noise continues, Pat stopped cleaning himself as he looked up and saw that it was the receiver, and it was flashing a white light. His eyes widened THE RECEIVER!
"HAHA YES FINALLY!"
Ramen dropped and show ignored Pat quickly went to a room that had his capsules and items from Conton City. He grabbed a bag brown bag of senzu beans that always restores to five at the end of twenty four hours. Pat then pulled out his Gogeta outfit from when he fought Janemba. He ripped off the tank top and quickly put on the vest, pants, then the shoes and tied up the sash around his waist.
Now for the best part, Pat grabbed some wrap from his white Ultimate Turtle Hermit Gi then quickly wrapped it around his forearms, wrists, and hands. With both arms wrapped the way he wanted he ripped the tape with his teeth and flattened the wrap on his arms. He got up and looked himself in the mirror, doing quick jabs.
When he sees Stolas he has to look his best for their fight.
Pat then grabbed his capsule case and put it in the brown bag with the beans. So with everything set up he put his index and middle finger on his forehead and began to search for Stolas energy.
He found the birdman.
With a giddy smile he then teleports to Stolas but not directly on to him probably a few feet away. Once he arrived he quickly got into a fighting stance, with him bowing over his lead leg, his lead arm over his ankle, his back leg stretched, and his back arm raised high and behind him.*
"ALRIGHT FINALLY STOL-"
Pat stopped talking.
He looked around and noticed that he was in a cave with a very heavy western theme to it. With all of the railroad tracks. He looked ahead and saw a very strange sight. He obviously sees Stolas on the ground tied up and in very rough shape. That's not the strange thing, Pat sees a cowboy themed… Imp?
This is the fourth imp he met so forgive him because he looks very different from the three he already met. He also had a statue of himself near him with something in his pants if that giant bulge was anything to go by.
Anyway he sees the imp sitting on Stolas with a strange glowing knife in his shoulder. Pat looks back and forth between the two than raised and eyebrow as he stood up straight.
"Stolas, what the hell? How did this guy hurt you more than I did when we fought?"
Stolas gave a weak smile "Forgive me Patrick." Eye twitch "But he has me trapped in holy material. My powers are AGGHHH!" Pat's eyes widened as the imp pushed the knife further into Stolas.
"Now I know that I wasn't getting ignored was I?" The cowboy imp said as he stood up and turned to face Pat. The imp gave a smirk.
"Stolas this is just embarrassing, since your little lapdog couldn't bother to show up you have to go and bet on a ridiculously dressed human?" The imp laughed as Pat looked down at what he was wearing.
"Not your Legions, a fellow Goeita, not a pack of Hellhounds, shit not even another Imp. Just a normal ass human, but credit where credit is due. This one showed up, not like your little rodeo clown."The imp said with a cruel smirk as he looked back at Stolas who's eyes kept flickering down and to the knife in his shoulder.
The imp then raised his hand and Pat could make out a familiar button.
This imp is the one who pressed it.
Pat narrowed his eyes as the imp tossed the button behind him and onto Stolas. "You know I've killed a lot of different demons in my day." The imp pulled out two revolvers from his waist as he cracked his neck.
"Imps, Hellhounds, sinners, overlords, and lower ranking Goeita." He then raised his two revolvers and aimed it at the human "But never just a plain old human. The name is Striker friend, remember that once you wake up in heaven or when you're back in Hell"
"Okay."
Striker made a face "The fuck you mean just ok-" pain was all Striker knew as he is sent flying back and crashed into the sign that read killer venom.
Pat had his fist extended as he stood over Stolas, he then looked down at the Goeita. "Sheesh he roughed you up good didn't he buddy?" Stolas gave a light groan.
"Right right, knife in your shoulder."
Pat went to grab the brown bag he brought.
"FUCKING VERMIN!"
BANG BANG
Pat looked up then tilted his head from side to side to dodge the shots that flew besides his head. He then sees Striker jump up and fired two more shots. He caught both bullets and dropped them both.
Striker landed, his hat was gone and his head dripping black blood. "What the fuck are you!? There ain't no way your just some human!" His tail was holding a knife as he kept his guns trained on Pat. Pat's only answer was a finger telling Striker to 'come on'
With a growl Striker ran up to the much taller opponent letting out multiple shots as he closed the distance. They seemed to bounce off the human. Striker ran past him and tried to slash Pat with the knife in his tail but only managing to hit air as Pat ducked the blade.
Pat grabbed the tail of Striker, who's eyes widened at the act, Pat then tossed Striker hard against a boulder. So much so that it left an indent of Striker against the rock.
Striker was gasping for breath as he tried to stand up and get back into the fight. Of course now was the perfect time for his phone to start ringing, with a groan he answered.
"What!?"
"E-FUCKING-SCUSE ME!? THAT IS NO WAY FOR AN EMPLOYEE TO ANSWER AN EMPLOYER! NEVERMIND AN IMP TO ONE SUCH AS MYSELF!" Oh great the blue blood that hired him.
"Now, behavior aside, onto more pressing matters I need the prick alive." Oh great he was getting his ass kicked and now the best part of his job is being taken away from him.
He should ask for double when he could.
"FINE YES MA'AM!" before the bird could screech anymore he tossed his phone and pulled out his lasso. A normal lasso save the holy ones for the big game, though this human is starting to creep up there.
With a growl he tossed the lasso onto a boulder and he began to pull with enough effort for it to break off. With that momentum Striker tossed it directly to Pat who was still standing over Stolas.
Much to Strikers shock the human just punched the piece of the boulder and it blew into pieces. Growling he made mad dash to Pat, the next thing he knew he was off the ground with a deep pain in his chin.
As he flies up he noticed a large and sharp stalactite, Striker used his lasso and his weight to pull down the rock onto Pat. It was a direct hit that kicked up a lot of dust that covered both Pat and Stolas
Striker landed with a grunt and smirk "Hehehe got you ya bas- ACKK!" Pain was all Striker knew as he was hunched over a fist.
The dust cleared up and it showed that Pat didn't even have a scratch on him. Pat pulled his fist back and Striker fell forward onto the ground clenching his stomach.
"So hey this has been interesting but it's time for us to go. So if you don't mind I'm going to take the bird leave." Pat squatted down to Strikers level and held out a hand and he gave a smile.
"No hard feelings?"
Striker glared at Pat with venom in his eyes "If you think I'm letting you go then your as stupid as you look." Striker tried getting up but his hands kept slipping on the dirt.
La cucaracha but horny
BANG
Pat looked back and he saw a van falling through cave ceiling and then through some tracks. It drove down a slope before turning on its side and tumbling until it came to a complete stop because of some well placed rocks.
The big van doors were open and out came three familiar Imps.
"ALRIGHT YOU COW FUCKER! YOU CAUSED ME TO SKIP OUT ON MY DAUGHTERS HELLBIES SHOT I'M GOING TO-" Blitzø's rant came to a halt as he sees Pat crouching over the downed Striker.
"Okay what the fuck!? How are you here!?"
Pat stood up and waved "Hi Blitzø! This guy pushed the button I gave to Stolas!" Pat gestured to the downed Striker.
Blitzø gave a smirk as he see the downed cowboy, remembering what he did to MnM and nearly did to his bird back in Wrath.
"Blitzø look at Stolas he's hurt bad!" Blitzø heard Millie speak and looked at the tied up Stolas, and his blood ran cold.
His long leg was bent at an unnatural angle leaking blood, he was bruised and bleeding at different parts of his body. The worst part of it all. He had a holy knife deep into his shoulder and his breathing, heavy but shallow at the same time. All four of his eyes opening and closing as he battled to keep himself from passing out. From the blood loss or the pain.
He really didn't want to know.
But the worst part of it all… Stolas turned his gaze to Blitzø and he could see his eyes softening and his beak gave him the softest smile he's ever seen.
Blitzø didn't deserve that smile.
"Darling…" Fuck his voice was so light.
As if knowing that Blitzø was there and he'd be okay Stolas laid his head back onto the tracks and just focused on his breathing.
"Blitzø come on we can let muscles handle Striker! We have to get the prince to a hospital!" Millie said as she made a dash for Stolas while Moxxie quickly trailed his wife.
Blitzø while still in a daze shook his head "Hospital… Right."
Blitzø then slapped his face "Right! Loona keep the van running we're about to go mach fucking Satan!" Blitzø followed after the married couple.
"Oh really there's no need for hospital let me just-" Pat went to reach for his brown bag
"AIN'T NONE OF YOU GOING ANYWHERE!"
"AHHHHH!"
"Muscles turn around!"
Pat turned around and he had a face full of crotch and pants.
"HAHAHA IF I CAN'T KILL ALL OF YOU I'M AT LEAST TAKING THIS FUCKING HUMAN!"
Pat freed his face from the pants and looked up, he sees Striker with the same glowing knife that was in Stolas' shoulder, still dripping with his blood, raised high above his head as he prepares to jab it into Pat's head. Pat wrapped his hands around Strikers thighs and the Imp was shocked at the humans action, if his face was anything to go by.
"Powerbomb."
Striker's eyes widened as he felt himself be thrown hard into the ground.
BOOM
"AUGHH!" Striker crashed into the ground letting out both spit and blood as he lay there wheezing and in the most pain he's ever been in. His holy knife skidding to I.M.P where Blitzø quickly snatched it up.
He's lost again.
This time not even against Blitzø and his crew but to some fucking human. Time to cut his losses. With the remaining strength he had he whistled for his hellhorse, Bombproof. His faithful hellhorse appeared swiftly and snatched Striker in its teeth.
"Make like the wind boy…"
With the command given Bombproof made trails as Striker slowly fell unconscious and they left the abandoned mine.
Pat watched the horse disappear from his sight as he tilted his head. "What an interesting looking horse."
"HEY MUSCLES ARE YOU GOING TO HELP OR WHAT!?" Pat turned around and saw that the three Imps were surrounding Stolas as they slowly lifted him up.
"Oh right!"
Pat made his way to Stolas and the three Imps and reached for his waistband.
"There's no need for a hospital I have something for him here." Pat pulled out his brown bag and grabbed a green bean. He then squatted over Stolas and as he made to give it to him, a red and white hand stopped him.
"Hey fucko what in Satan are you thinking!? Do you really think this little shit can help Stolas!?" Blitzø looked up at Pat with a snarl.
Pat looked down at Blitzø with an eyebrow raised "Well yes, these beans have never failed me before." Blitzø narrowed his eyes then showed the holy knife to Pat.
"Prove it then."
With a sigh Pat grabbed the knife and cut his hand. Once he did he showed the open wound to Blitzø while also putting the bean in his mouth. With a few chews and a swallow the cut disappeared not even leaving a scar.
"There now can I give Stolas a bean?" Pat asked as he reached for another bean in the bag. Blitzø just nodded. Pat had the bean ready and squatted next to Stolas and placed the bean in his beak.
"Right then Stolas I'm going to need you to chew then swallow this or it won't work can you do that?"
Stolas wearily shook his head.
"N-no teeth c-cant chew." Pat nodded as he grabbed the bean from Stolas' beak.
"Don't worry I'll chew it for you just make sure you swallow every bit of it." Pat was about to put the bean in his mouth, instead Blitzø snatched the bean with his tongue and chewed it aggressively as he glared at Pat.
Blitzø then placed his lips onto Stolas' beak with practiced ease as he made sure every bit of the bean fell into Stolas' mouth. Blitzø pulled back from Stolas' mouth and looked back at MnM and Pat. Millie had a wide smile, Moxxie, the little bitch, looked very smug, and Pat was just bewildered.
"What!? Muscles here would've fucked it up! He doesn't know how to work his beak like I do!"
"Sure boss whatever you say…" Millie said with a big toothy grin.
"Not to sound ungrateful darling, but can you please get these blessed ropes off of me?" Blitzø looked back at the completely healed Stolas. He just has some drying blood on him.
"Yeah yeah unclench your bird-"
"I got it!"
Blitzøs sees Pat straddle Stolas, an involuntary growl escaped, and grabbing the blessed ropes. He went to grab the human.
"Hey you don't know what you're do-"
SNAP
"Oh my."
There goes the holy rope, into a bunch of pieces. He's really has to stop third guessing this freak of a human.
*Its Goku pose against Vegeta in the Saiyan Saga