A/N - Lots of rewards and exploring game mechanics this chapter. One more chapter in Diagon after this with some plot building and then some real action!
As usual, Game text is in BOLD, thoughts are in Italics.
Chapter 3 - Quest Rewards Really Are My Bag
Now that Sirius had gone, I was left completely alone in Flourish and Blotts. As usual, the main area of the shop was completely packed with students looking to buy their school books, but I could barely see anyone from my year. The inane chatter and random movement of the crowd was quite the assault on the senses. I spotted Ernie Macmillan waiting for his turn up at tills in a great long queue that snaked around the store, but I wasn't about to battle the crowds just to make small talk with him.
That little gold icon in the corner of my vision was driving me absolutely nuts, not only because I was anticipating what I would find when opening the Profile, but because having it constantly there was annoying in the way an itchy spot is on that part of your back when you can't quite reach it. I couldn't scratch it right now, not around all these people. I needed a quiet spot, but maybe I didn't need to leave the store. I knew that upstairs, if you go far enough along the bookshelves, at the far end was a little alcove of books that was barely ever used. It was the area containing books on Ministry regulations. 'Percy Weasley cauldron bottom thickness' kinda stuff, and of course they have all those regulations to hand in the Ministry.
I headed up quickly, giving polite smiles to those passing me on the staircase. At the top, I accepted a handshake from a wizard on the landing just wanting to thank me for defeating You-Know-Who, and then I was on my way.
It was obvious how little the section was used purely from how dusty the bookshelves were, and how faded some of the books' lettering was. The dust itching my nostrils, I gave my nose a quick wipe to stave off a sneeze and looked at the bookshelves, giving the impression I was perusing.
Profile
Ding! Magical Quest - 'Save a Life' Completed!
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Gained 100% Magical Spec XP.
Gained 100% Character XP.
You have been rewarded 1 Gacha Token.
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Congratulations, your Magical Spec has increased to Rank 2.
You have been rewarded 1 Arcane Sorcerer Talent Point.
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Congratulations, your Character Level has increased to 21.
1 to all numbered stats.
You have been rewarded 1 Gacha Token.
Yes! Gacha baby, here we come!
Ding! Secret Social Quest - 'A Sirius Conversation' - Completed!.
Gained 100% Social Spec XP
You have been rewarded 1 Gacha Token.
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Congratulations, your Social Spec has increased to Rank 2.
You have been rewarded 1 Lothario Talent Point.
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Ding! Secret Physical Quest 'Grumpy Bogrod Isn't Toast, Today the Goblins Love You Most' - Completed!
Gained 100% Supreme Hunter XP
You have been rewarded with one of three Rare Rewards (On selection of desired skill tree)
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Congratulations, your Physical Spec has increased to Rank 2.
You have been rewarded 1 Supreme Hunter Talent Point.
Hell yes! Three Gacha tokens! And all these Talent points to spend! Hmm, I'm most excited about the Gacha, so I'll save it til the end. What about my Quest Reward though? How do I choose?
You'll be able to select your reward when the Inventory is unlocked, or you'd have nowhere to put it. Are you thick or something? You just gonna carry a big fucking sword through Diagon Alley?
—The GameMaster
So a sword must be one of the rewards. That would be cool. Do I need one though? Meh, maybe at some point. Must be the Supreme Hunter item, not like I'm gonna be doing much close-quarters fighting, though right? Talents first, I guess.
Talents
Talents
Please select a tree:
Social (Lothario)
Magical (Arcane Sorcerer)
Physical (Supreme Hunter)
Social
Before my eyes, I was taken to a dark green screen, with only the title Lothario at the top. Below this were two small boxes, containing images. One was a picture of an eye, the other, a speech bubble. As I looked at each one, the words and descriptions for both Inspect (Lothario) and Flirtastic Flirtation were displayed in popup boxes to either side. Below each of the bottoms, connected by a single silver line, were two more boxes. The images in these boxes weren't in colour and below that, they connected to a single blacked-out box.
I looked at the greyed-out boxes in turn.
Lothario Talent - Passive Attribute
Magnum Dong
Blesses the user with premium-sized junk that would make a Lust Genie blush. Don't let it go to your head, or do, I don't care.
—The GameMaster
Change will happen immediately when the game menu is closed.
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Lothario Talent - Skill
Serious Smoulder
Cooldown (Once weekly)
Gives a magical smouldering look that instantly raises the seduction level of those below Seduction Level 4 (Lusty), by 2 levels for one hour.
Well fuck! Let's get both!
I instantly accepted the Magnum Dong Talent and then went to accept the other one. Only to be greeted by the message:
Error. Unable to accept Talent (Serious Smoulder).
This Talent requires 2 Social Talent points.
You currently have: 1 Social Talent point.
Oh for fucks sake!
I'd thought that the little golden Roman numerals I and II, overlapping the bottom edge of the icons were just numbering the talents, not the talent cost. Now I'd need to earn another Social point to get that one.
For the Arcane Sorceror and Supreme Hunter trees, there was only one option available for each, though I could see that next level I would have multiple options. Still, I got two new talents out of it.
Arcane Sorcerer Talent - Spell
Elemental Whip
Cooldown: None
Using your wand, you can wordlessly channel a whip in the elements of Fire, Lightning, Water and Earth. Albus Dumbledore, eat your heart out.
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Supreme Hunter Talent - Skill
Stealth
Cooldown: None
At any time, activate this skill and then stay perfectly still. You now essentially have an undetectable 'Notice me Not' charm on you, until you move. Will not work on beings who've already spotted you!
I was obviously way more excited to try out the Elemental Whip. Surely my Invisibility Cloak, being a Deathly Hallow would be way more effective than Stealth, but I didn't have it on me right then, so useful sometimes, I supposed.
I was just about the open the Gacha menu when I heard a loud bang right behind me, and a little yelp of surprise.
Shit what's that? Exit menu.
That was a bad idea.
You know that pain you get when you get kicked in the nuts? The kind that makes you want to vomit, like somehow your balls are all the way up in your throat? Well, this was not like that. No, this was like someone had grabbed my junk, ravaged it with a thousand papercuts and then poured lemon juice on top. I was just lucky that it was so noisy downstairs and that I bit down hard on my forearm to muffle my scream as I collapsed to my knees. It only lasted for about five seconds, thank God.
Still, I felt a hand on my back.
"Sir, sir? Are you alright? Do you need a healer?"
I turned and looked up, the pain now gone, into the face of a wizard in his mid-thirties. Clearly a staff member, his midnight blue robes covered his gangly frame and his pockmarked face hinted what must've been a set of uncomfortable, acne-ridden teen years, I saw genuine concern. As our gaze met, his cool grey eyes widened in surprise through his heptagonal glasses as he recognised who I was.
"Mister Potter! Are you okay?" he asked again.
"Yeah," I grumbled, getting to my feet and realising the large bang must've been caused by a set of books he'd dropped, "Just a sudden stomachache. It's gone now. Weird. I'm fine."
"If you're sure," he replied, his look hesitant. "Can I help with anything? Don't get many customers over here."
"Nah, I'm good," I said, straightening my glasses, "Just looking over some stuff for a friend."
"I'll leave you to it then," the staff member replied, "Let me know if you need anything."
He turned and raised his wand, levitated all the loose books at once and then marched out of sight towards the staircase, the books trailing in his wake.
'Phew! Close one,' I thought, turning back towards the staircase.
Really fucking hurt though, did it work?
I leaned backwards to look out of the alcove opening, checking there was no one in sight before resuming facing the bookcases in the most secluded corner. I reached into my boxers and had a little feel, my own eyes widening now.
That's…that's as big as I was when I was soft!
Resisting the urge to just flop my knob out in the middle of the shop for a proper look, I opened the profile again.
Ding! Feat Achieved! - Specialise in all three Talent Trees.
You have been rewarded 1 Gacha token.
Result!
I could barely contain my excitement and instantly opened the now available Gacha section.
Congratulations! You have unlocked the Gacha Section. Spend Gacha tokens to select one of four cards, each refreshed when one is selected. You can be awarded with Spells, Items, Consumables, Weapons and Wearables.
To contain items unlocked: Inventory (Base Level)
The Inventory Section has now been unlocked in your menu.
The moment I finished reading the text, it disappeared, replaced by four floating cards of different colours with a single line of text at the top of them. The pale pink said Lothario, the royal blue, Arcane Sorceror, the blood red, Supreme Hunter, and the slate grey, Generic. All at once they were flipped, their backs a gleaming gold. Now, below each card was a number. I worked out the selection process easily enough, and the other cards faded to nothing, while the one I selected moved to the center.
Item unlocked!
Category: Generic. Rarity - Trash
A Rusty Spoon.
Pretty much useless, unless you need to make a deal with Mr Salad Fingers himself.
,
A Rusty Spoon has been added to your Inventory.
Well that's… shit. Ah well. Three tokens left. Maybe I'll get something good.
Item unlocked!
Category: Arcane Sorceror, Rarity: Legendary (Unique). Usable at Level 30.
'Manipulation of Space and Interdimensional Portals' by Myrddin Emrys.
The last tome written by Myrddin Emrys himself. This book, written in Latin, vanished from existence shortly after the Legendary wizard himself disappeared. Some say this book contains exactly how he did it. I haven't got a clue, what's an extradimensional GameMaster need with a book so basic? Still, you might like it.
-The GameMaster.
Holy shit! What a 180! Myrddin! That's Merlin's real name! I'm sure of it. I'll need to make sure I can read Latin properly by the time I hit level 30.
Okay, two more.
Consumable unlocked!
Category: Supreme Hunter, Rarity: Rare
Eagle Eye Potion (Single use only)
Pour three drops of this potion into each eye to not only receive permanent perfect vision but to be able to focus at distances on par with a Bald Eagle.
Warning. Stings like a motherfucker.
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Weapon unlocked!
Category: Generic, Rarity: Common
Bludgeoning Damage - Very Low
The Happyslapper
A ping pong paddle with a smiley face on it. Slap someone with it to instantly cheer them up. Works on everyone. Seriously, you could use it on Colin Creevey after you smashed his camera and he'd want to be your best friend (still).
That potion is wicked. I hate having to wear these bleeding glasses. Still feel weirdly not used to it since the merging. Better do it later, I'm not having that shop assistant come back again. The Happyslapper though? That's pretty useless when I can just use a cheering charm. Ah well. Wish I got something better, but I suppose Fred and George might like it. Hmm, the cards have disappeared now though. What's the big 'F' for?
Unhappy with your rewards? You may destroy or more Gacha rewards together to forge one random reward of the same Rarity or of 1 rank higher, once per week. Rewards must be of the same or of one Rank difference in rarity. Only available to Trash, Common, Uncommon and Rare Rewards. Epic, Heroic and above are not accepted.
Brilliant. Guess I know what I'm doing then.
A Rusty Spoon and The Happyslapper have been destroyed.
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Consumable unlocked!
Category: Lothario, Rarity: Uncommon
Caractacus Crumplecock's Carnal Cologne
A bottle of cologne designed by none other than Grand Incubus Caractacus Crumplecock himself. One squirt lasts approximately four hours. Females within a ten-metre radius will have their seduction level increased by 75%, and feel a strong a compulsion as possible to divest themselves of their items of clothing until the bare minimum of what would be socially acceptable. Works on ages 17- 49.
That's more like it! I woulda thought it would be rare at least, but it will run out, I guess. Or maybe there's an even better version!
Back
Should I put some of the cologne on now? Might as well. It'll be in the Inventory, right?
Inventory
Inventory
Level 1 out of 10. (Upgradeable)
Capacity - 4 out of 5 slots filled.
Now I was greeted with a grid, well, what would be a grid eventually, I guess. For now it was just a line of 4 square images, with the fifth space being black.
Wait what's that question mark? Oh yeah, the quest reward! How do I select it?
To select an item, say the row and number for the given item. For example, to select the item on the top left of the grid, think 'Select A1'.
Selected Unidentified Quest Item (Epic). Do you wish to choose your item?
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Please select a reward.
Item to unlock:
Categor: Arcane Sorceror, Rarity: Rare
Spork-Key
Hold up your Spork! Love and Waffles! After the writer of the worst Harry Potter fanfic ever created - My Immortal - died of pure cringe from the planet reading it, her soul was bound into this magical spork. Just like her five readers who actually enjoyed it and were transported to a fantastical realm that wasn't a pure shitshow to them, the Spork-Key allows you to Portkey with four others through any ward.
I sniggered.
Tempting, though. Could make travelling into Hogwarts' wards a breeze, at least.
Weapon to unlock:
Category: Supreme Hunter, Rarity: Rare
A Lightsaber
Laser Damage - High
Do I need to say more?
Probably. It doesn't have any magical properties and will not deflect spells, but it will let you slice open and climb into a dead bantha in minutes if you get cold. It's also got only about an hour left in the Khyber crystal.
Man, that would be cool, but when would I ever use it? It might deflect lasers, won't deflect spells and would last maybe two or three fights anyway. Rubbish. Maybe if I unlock a permanent one...
Wearable to Unlock:
Category: Lothario, Rarity: Rare
Horny Dragon Boots
Boots made of the hide of the Ancient Dragon Pyralagon. One seriously depraved lizard, Pyralagon was the only dragon to ever successfully copulate with a human. Of course, she died immediately, but that's what you get for playing just the tip with a legendary beast's legendary beast. Extremely durable, being made of dragonhide and will change colour with a thought to match any outfit. While worn, the user is granted the ability to see a being's Fantasies and Kinks while using the 'Inspect' Talent.
Hmm. Maybe the spork? But will I get any use of out of it? I'm literally just gonna be at Hogwarts and I'm not gonna miss out going on the Hogwarts Express. I can already apparate and I'm guessing once I'm able to read Merlin's book I might be able to create portals or something anyway.
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Select Horny Dragon Boots. Is that really a phrase I just deliberately thought?
Horny Dragon Boots selected.
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And yes, it was.
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Accept or Cancel?
Accept.
Received Horny Dragon Boots, do you wish to equip them? Your current item (Dudley's Shitty Cast-Off Trainers that you Really Should've Replaced by Now) will be added to your inventory.
Yes
I mean, I know I still had the Game Menu up, so that was all I could see, but the sensation of my battered, ultra-stretched-out put low-rise trainers disappearing and being instantly replaced with rather tight boots felt really weird.
Don't think I'll get used to that anytime soon. Right, the Inventory icons.
Theres the spellbook, and my trainers, and the two potions bottles there, but how do I know which is which?
Select A2
Selected A2 - Eagle Eye Potion.
Underneath the text, there were two options 'See info' which I'd obviously have to select to read the description again, and 'Withdraw.'
Well I don't want that one. Deselect.
But how do I deposit things?
To deposit an item, hold onto your desired item and think, 'Deposit to Inventory.
Yes, this works if you're holding someone's skirt, perv.
— The GameMaster
Ha, might piss them off a bit though. Select A3.
Selected 'Caractacus Crumplecock's Carnal Cologne.'
Withdraw.
Item withdrawn from Inventory. Your inventory has 3 out of 5 slots filled.
I'm gonna have to do some shopping and hey, I'd rather have my hands free if I can. How do I increase the space?
In order to increase the quantity of Inventory slots, you must complete the current bag level's bag challenge.
Bag Challenges.
Bag Challenge Quest - Level 1.
Fit the word 'Bag', as well as fourteen other words that rhyme with 'Bag', or are another word for Bag' in a single conversation with one person that lasts five minutes or less.
Reward: Increase Inventory Capacity by 5 slots.
Oh for fucks sake. This is silly.
Yes, it is.
Fine. Exit.
Suddenly, the whole menu closed and I felt in my hand a small crystal bottle with an atomiser at the head. It looked like a muggle bottle of aftershave if anything.
At least it'll be inconspicuous if I just leave it out. Just one squirt was it?
I squirted a single squirt on my wrist, rubbed the scent together and gave it a sniff. It smelled like absolutely nothing, but I shrugged, rubbed both wrists together and then rubbed them on my neck. I felt no different, but I wasn't sure what I was expecting to happen anyway.
Right…erm…books. Oh, and I've gotta get Hermione's too. Should I try the Bag Challenge? I hope if I have the shopkeeper put them in a bag it will only count as one in my inventory, but I'd rather not fill all my slots if I don't have to carry all the damn books around, plus any other stuff I might wanna buy today. At least the staff usually puts in stacks downstairs next to the tills, sorted for each year.
I made my way back down the stairs, and realised that thankfully the main room was significantly less busy than it was before. I waited in a queue of four other people, trying to work out how on earth I was gonna attempt this stupid quest. When I got to the front, manning the till was the very same shop assistant I'd met upstairs.
"Hello again," I greeted him cheerfully, stomach buzzing with nerves.
"Hello Mister Potter," he replied with a kind smile, "What can I do for you, I don't see any of the books from upstairs."
"Well," I sighed dramatically, "I've been looking everywhere and I'm at the end of my rag."
First one! An alright start. Nice.
"For what?" the man replied, "Is it something we can order in?"
"Oh," I said, like I'd just realised I'd been ridiculously stupid. They're there. I just wanted two sets of seventh-year books. God I'm so blind. Never mind your obvious signs, I clearly needed a flag."
That earned me a chuckle as I praised myself again.
"Oh don't worry about it, Mister Potter," he answered, "You did seem a bit dazed up there earlier. I'll get the books rang up for you."
"Thanks. I'm not surprised I seemed dazed. Truth be told, I had a pretty bad experience as I was walking past the entrance to Knockturn Alley earlier. Still thinking about its making my brain lag a bit. There was a… a hag."
I have no idea what I'm saying, but that's four!
"Really?" The shop assistant asked, taken aback and pausing his ritual of piling up books onto the counter and tapping them with his wand so they would be removed from the shop's inventory. "What coming out of Knockturn, they don't ever come that way! I've never seen one in the light! What did she look like?
"Yeah! Broad daylight!" I said, trying to seem as astonished as he was. "She wasn't looking where she was going, just staring at this great dirty rag. Tripped right into me, she did, nearly knocked me over. She was pretty damn ugly, honestly. Crooked nose, ancient skin, a great thing on her cheek…not a mole…what are they called… a skin tag! She just ran away when she saw me. I'm glad she wasn't horrible and bony though. Crashed into me with some massive tits, but wow did they sag, but at least they were cushion, I guess."
Yes!. I think that was another three. Or was it four?
The shop assistant was looking a bit odd at me now, but he carried on with his work as he said, "Bit too much info there Potter, but I'm glad you're alright."
"Well, you asked," I responded with a grin. "I had to check my pockets afterwards you know, in case she pickpocketed me. I'm not one to brag, but she didn't manage to snag a single galleon, she was trying that is.
"That's… good," the man replied, definitely looking at me strangely now.
Hmm, he's looking at me strangely now.
See, told you.
How many am I on now? What else is there?
"It is. Though some witches who saw thought it was a right gag."
Gotta be nearly there now.
"So, how much will it come to?" I asked, "Not that I care about the price tag, but I only brought so much money as it is."
Fuck I used 'tag' already, didn't I? Damn, how many am I on? What rhymes with bag?! What rhymes with bag?!
"You're looking at seventeen galleons, eleven sickles and a knut." said the shopkeeper.
"No problem," I replied, "It's a lot to carry, and I'm not gonna have many hands free in a while, do you reckon you can get them all in one bag?
Thank god I didn't forget that one. Surely I'm at ten now, at least. There can't be many more words that rhyme with…wait. It also said words meaning bag, didn't it? But how many do I need?
"Certainly, I can just shrink and featherlight them."
"Brilliant," I said, reaching into my pocket for my gold pouch.
God damn, but how do I fit the words in? I'm not going through this again?! Oh, to hell with it.
"Funny word, isn't it…bag," I said, nonchalantly. "Such a generic term when there are all kinds of them. Duffel, Tote, Holdall, Knapsack, even Suitcase. They all mean bag, but bag's much easier to say.
"Yes… I suppose you're right," the shopkeeper said, frowning deeply at me as he finished charming my books to fit in the standard Flourish and Blotts carrier bag. Shame I couldn't have used that one, but it's just bag again, isn't it?
"Well, here's you're money," I said, smiling at the flashing golden bag icon now flashing in the corner of my peripheral vision. I was so pleased I handed over eighteen galleons and told him to keep the change.
"Thanks, Mister Potter."
"No worries, see you later" I replied cheerfully. Turning to leave the store.
"Oh, Mister Potter?" I heard his voice call from behind me as I touched the door handle to lead me back out onto the street.
"Yeah?" I replied, only half turning back around.
"After your stomach issue earlier and with the hag, I really do think you should pop by St Mungo's on your way back. You seem a bit… muddled."
"I just might," I responded with a grateful nod, "Thank you. Sorry, I didn't catch your name."
"It's Satchel. Satchel Blotts."
No way!
"Well thanks for your help Satchel" I said, trying not to burst out laughing as I turned back around, "See you later."