2/10/25 A/N: see you at the bottom.

CHAPTER 17

The One Where They Both Need To Hear It

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Sakura glanced at Hidan's list again, silently mouthing the ingredients as she matched each written item with its physical counterpart. She lifted the phone back to her ear.

"Okay, I have everything." She smiled into the receiver.

After last night, Sakura decided she did not want to wait a few days before bothering Hidan. In an attempt not to be too obvious, she texted him asking for a few easy meals since he had not approved of her empty fridge. The reply was quick–each meal had only a few ingredients and was easy for a cooking novice such as herself.

Now, at the end of her day, Sakura wandered the small grocery store with Hidan on the phone. Something along the lines of, they didn't have this ingredient and calling is faster than texting..., which she thought was quite clever on her part, considering he remained on the phone long after telling her an alternative.

"I guess I can rest easy now knowing you won't be starving in your home." She could hear his smile.

Sakura turned into another aisle. She wanted a soda. "The beer and flan would've sustained me for at least another day or two."

"Don't fuck with me." Hidan laughed. "I gotta leave now though, my break is over." Someone spoke in the background, but Sakura couldn't make out their words.

"Thanks for the list." She stood in front of the soft drinks, scanning the bright labels.

"Send me pics of the food when you make it."

"So you can judge me? I don't think so."

"I already judged you. You can thank the flan and beer for that."

"Oh, whatever ."

Hidan chuckled followed by a flirty, bye Sakura . A titillating drawl at the end of her name.

For the millionth time, Sakura found herself amazed at how easy it was with Hidan. Each time they hung out, the original reason drifted further and further away until Nagato was barely even a blip on her radar anymore. Sakura couldn't speak for Hidan about Konan, but if their interactions last night were anything to go by, she was sure she was not alone in her feelings.

New Years, she resolved. She'd do something about it at the party. It was cliché, but a new year brought new things and what better time to start over and make new memories –

"Sakura?"

Before her brain could register the voice, Sakura turned to the only other person in the aisle.

From habit, her lips moved to speak their name before her senses rushed back and she snapped her mouth shut.

Nagato was here. In the aisle. Standing there, looking at her, speaking her name.

"Hey." Nagato greeted, the corner of his mouth quirked up. He looked unsure.

It had never occurred to her that she might run into Nagato alone, which was an absurd thought in retrospect, considering they lived in the same city. Without Hidan by her side, she felt exposed and off-kilter. Hidan had grown into a shield for these cases, offering up a type of security.

But he wasn't here now. Just Nagato. And the sodas. And the pounding of her heart that mingled with the creeping dread that slithered up her spine.

Nagato shifted his basket and Sakura's attention snapped to the items inside. There was a 4-pack of sparkling water and a small bag of hot chips. Neither, Sakura knew, were snacks he was particularly fond of.

A twinkling chime vibrated through her phone, jolting Sakura out of her stupor. She glanced at the screen, seeing a message from Hidan, but the words blurred together. Only that didn't matter though, not when Hidan managed to still be her shield despite his absence.

Sakura typed swiftly, call me right now, and looked up as she hit send.

"Hi."

The confrontation was not sweet. It was not satisfying. There were no big words or snarky comments. Hidan called immediately, and Sakura, flooded with relief at an escape, answered.

Whatever greeting Hidan said was bulldozed over by Sakura's cheerful, oh, are you outside already? Okay, one sec.

Nagato's unsure demeanor morphed into apparent agitation, and there was a subtle sweet twinge of vindication in it. Sakura moved the phone away from her ear to rest lightly on her shoulder in a mock display of privacy. Sorry, she had said, my boyfriend is waiting outside, it was nice seeing you.

She wanted to twist the knife.

Labels passed in a blur as she left the aisle, nothing in particular sticking out as she walked aimlessly.

"What the fuck was that?"
Blood flowed back into her fingers in tingles as she loosened the grip on the phone. "I'm sorry I made you call. I know you're working and I…" Sakura cut herself off. She did not want to be here, she didn't want to buy her groceries anymore, she didn't want to explain to Hidan how she just used him.

"Sakura?"

"It was Nagato. I just bumped into him."

"Did he say something fucked up to you? Is he being a freak? Where're you?"

"No. No, I - we…" The adrenaline was leaving her veins like water through a sieve. Her chest was tight with an emotion that couldn't be named. Hurt? Frustration? Scared? Heartbroken? Betrayed? It was too much too fast and it made her want to crawl out of her skin. To run and hide.

To cry.

"I'm at Kaguya Market, but I think I'm going to leave." Her voice wobbled. She had wandered into the produce section and stood in front of the limes.

"No – fuck. Okay, just wait there – buy your food and wait there. I'll come get you." In the background there was loud clattering, like dishes or pans hitting each other clumsily. A muffled voice and then a heavy door shutting. "I'll be there in five minutes"

Sakura did as instructed while remaining on the phone with Hidan who spoke nonstop to distract her. It started with what he had for breakfast followed by his reluctance to go to work. His boss had caught him putting soap in his eye to fake pink eye in an attempt to go home early. That managed to pull a laugh out of her.

And true to his word, Hidan arrived within 5 minutes.

After finding out where he worked during their brunch, Sakura, like any sane girl with a crush, looked it up. With that knowledge, Hidan was either blessed with all green lights and no traffic, or he ran some stops. Which was concerning given his track record.

The metal bench of the bus stop was still cool beneath her legs. The white grocery bags were her only companions as the night wore on until Hidan's car abruptly halted in front of her. He hadn't bothered turning off the engine before hopping out the door and enveloping her in an hug.

"What'd he do? Was he harassing you? I'll kick his ass." He swore into her hair. The spice of his cologne mingled with a faint bite of citrus wrapped her in a blanket of comfort, soothing her frayed nerves.

Slowly, Sakura lifted her hands to rest around his waist only to fidget unsurely with a bow at his lower back. His work apron, she realized. "You just left in the middle of your shift." She admonished softly against his chest, giving a slight tug on the back of his shirt.

"You think I wasn't gonna come after something like that? No way was I gonna leave you alone with him."

"I kinda ran away." And she felt pathetic for it. This whole thing was pathetic. Her eyes stung.

Hidan didn't say anything to that, instead he leaned his weight from one foot to the other, gently swaying her back and forth. Sakura felt all the worse for it.

Every time she was in trouble, Hidan was there to help her out, doing whatever she asked. And what did she do for him? Cause him trouble and misery and held him in a bargain that forced him around his ex and Nagato. Sakura screwed her eyes shut. It wasn't fair. Sasuke was right, this was stupid. Telling Hidan her feelings would be the cherry on top of her manipulations, and she was better than that.

"Let me get you home." Hidan sighed before letting go and giving her a once over. Her eyes stayed glued to his shoes, afraid he'd see the frustration on her face and think it was his doing.

He'd been perfect, and Sakura didn't deserve that.

Hidan had picked up on her weird mood, but said nothing during the brief, silent ride. After grabbing the groceries from the backseat, he flashed her a grin over the roof of his car. The cool night air may have kissed her cheeks red, but it was that grin that gave her goosebumps. She forced herself to mirror it.

Next door, Deidara's lights were on. What would he have to say about all this? He always had that annoyed look when he saw her, even with his polite demeanor. She doubted he'd have anything nice to say – and honestly, she wouldn't blame him.

The pair stood under the soft glow of the porch light as Sakura unlocked her doors. The hazy memory of her dream danced on the periphery of her imagination, but she brushed the remnants away – now was not the time.

"Here you go." Hidan made no indication to come further inside. His shoes remained on and his hands outstretched with her groceries. Sakura took both bags and placed them behind her on the wood floor before toeing off her own shoes in the genkan.

"Do you want to come in?" She couldn't help but ask. Selfish.

"I have to get back to work. I just wanted to make sure you were okay before heading back." He ran a hand through his hair before settling both hands on his hips. "You seem pretty fucked up about the whole thing."

Sakura huffed a laugh.

"You know I'm here for you." Hidan tilted his head to catch her eye. The weight of his words pressed between them. They were meant to reassure, but to Sakura, they settled like a weight between her shoulders.

She swallowed past the sudden lump in her throat. "I know."

He cast her an unsure look. "I'll stay if you want me to stay." He offered, choosing the words wisely as if not to overstep in an assumption.

Sakura ached to say yes. To cast aside all reservations and just be swept in the current that were these new feelings. No more dragging her feet to stop what felt like the most natural thing she'd ever felt.

But a friend wouldn't do what she had done, Sakura realized with contempt. Hidan was too nice, and Sakura too blinded by betrayal and the itch to get even. In the end, how did this make her any different from Nagato? The ends didn't justify the means.

"You…" The words lodged in her throat. Her heart warred with her conscience, "You…" She tried again, voice thick with emotion. Hidan's whole face changed, and Sakura looked at him helplessly – he had never seen him so painfully vulnerable.

"You have been… exceptional." A tear slid down her left cheek. "I've been unfair in this whole thing, and honestly I'm surprised you've hung around for this long. In the beginning it was fun. Messy and chaotic, sure, but running around everywhere, getting into all sorts of silly situations… it distracted me. I didn't have to be home and sad. I had you. And you were just so nice and… and caring, and not at all what I expected you to be. And that's what makes it so frustrating, because you don't deserve any of this."

Sakura hurriedly wiped away the tears, determined not to let them be a distraction. She needed to get this out. Whatever expression Hidan wore now, she wasn't sure. She focused on the red pen that stuck out from the pocket on his chest.

"Using you is not okay. Calling you when I run into Nagato and expect you to come is not okay. Making you come around and see Konan with Nagato is not okay. It's fucked up and I'm sorry – "

"Sakura – "

"No, no, don't try to say it wasn't – it was. I'm sorry for wasting so much of your time."

Finally, Sakura looked up. The vulnerability she had once seen was gone, replaced by a wall she could no longer penetrate. He had closed himself off from her completely. A muscle in his jaw fluttered.
"So, what're you saying." It was worded as a question, but they both already knew the answer without her saying it. But she needed to say it. They both needed to hear it.

"We don't… we shouldn't continue this." She couldn't say, I'm ending this – that was too cruel for even her own heart. "The charade is done."

2/10/25 A/N: and if Sakura had had food in her fridge, this all could've been avoided!

So. Listennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, I knoooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww. How long has it been? Don't tell me, I know - I'm on this damn app every day. This story haunts me. Plagues me, really. But I love it, and I'm trying hard to not be distracted by writing other things when this draft stares into my soul every time I open a new doc. Every rendition of this chapter never got past Hidan showing up except ONE - and it ended w Sakura kissing him and Hidan actually being the one to end things. Look at how the tables have turned, huh. Perhaps if I hadn't decided to write this after losing 3 league games in a row, it would've been longer, but alas, the post chapter button was calling my name.

Let me get my thoughts together. Sakura, originally, was gonna have a anxiety attack, and I did like that rendition, but it did not make the final cut. I do like this version, something about it though does make me tilt my head, but I think it's honestly just the length of it. I don't think I've written a chapter this short since the beginning. It WAS gonna be long, and it was gonna be the night of the NYE party, but it felt like too big a jump time wise, so I pushed it further back. I hope Sakura's sudden revelation doesn't feel too outta place. Hidan has been feeling something like being used for a while now, it's about time Sakura acknowledged it.

BUT ANYWAYS I HAVE A QUESTION. I'm asking both my AO3 readers as well as you, my dear FF readers - what do we think about adding spice to the story. Albeit I have never written anything of the sorts but in one of my brain storming sessions, one thing led to another and Hidan and Sakura ended up in a sexual situation, as adults are wont to do. I wanna gauge your thoughts before just throwing it into the story if it doesn't feel like it needs it. Let me know.

So as per usual, thank you for reading, thank you for sticking around, and thank you for your reviews. I love rereading em. I shall see yall in the next chapter!