The door to the greenhouse slammed shut as Yuko stormed inside, just barely managing to remember to lock the door behind her as she entered. The remnants of her transformation faded into curling mist as she grabbed her mask, throwing it violently to the ground as her stomach churned.

It landed with a clatter, spinning along the tiled walkway and coming to rest against a paved stone, staring up at her with an empty gaze. The girl's vision blurred, tears forming at the edges of her eyes. She turned away, planting her hands on the rim of a huge pot and leaning over it as she felt her gorge rising with each second. She heaved as what little was left in her stomach attempted to make a reappearance, dry hacks escaping her mouth.

The plants were luckily spared her stomach's contents as nothing came up, but that didn't make Yuko feel any better. She turned away from the pot, sliding down its wide surface to come to rest on her bottom.

The eyes of Kaito Nanaki appeared in her mind once more, bloodshot with panic, yet glazed over and sightless as the soul behind them was nowhere to be found. She shivered with the remnants of the realization of what she had done in that room, in front of the horrified eyes of the other Faces. What she had been ordered to do.

Yuko's chest clenched as she recalled the terror she felt when she had been ordered to take over Kaito's punishment for her father. She had known what was expected of her, had known just how brutal her father's punishments could be and most importantly, she knew that she would have to mimic that ruthlessness or else she would just implement his own punishment on top of hers.

She had chosen her Kitsune form because its illusions caused mental harm instead of physical. Oh sure, if she wished she could make the illusions physical, but that would have required power she hadn't had access to at that moment. And even if she had, she didn't want to hurt him too badly.

She didn't want to kill him. Didn't mean to kill him.

"I just wanted to scare him enough that he would pass out or something…" She muttered to herself as she stared down at her hands, vision blurring and making it difficult to keep them in focus, "He died so suddenly."

Did he have heart problems? Were the images she dredged up too much for him to handle? The illusion was based off of what was in his own mind, even she herself didn't know what he was seeing, were his fears just that potent?

Yuko let out a small hysterical laugh as she made a sudden, horrifying realization. Her father had handed her her mask less than two hours ago. She hadn't even been an active cape for twenty-four hours and she had already killed someone on her father's orders.

Just two hours of Yosei's existence and already she was a murderer.

Her laughter slowly transformed into light sobs, and she dragged her knees to her chest, her shoulders shaking as she came to terms with what she had done. Was this how her cape life was going to be? Killing anyone who dared to entertain the idea of betraying the gang and her father?

Was she going to just be another Lee?

No. No, she knew that wasn't true. Kaito Nanaki was a dead-man walking from the moment he had entertained the idea of betraying her father. The fact that she had been the one to kill him had just been a coincidence, and in fact, was likely just an act of opportunity by her father. It probably was just a coincidence that she had been given the mask before the disastrous meeting.

Her father loved her, he wouldn't make her a tool to swing at his enemies like that husk of a man masquerading as a demon.

And yet, despite believing this with all of her heart. It didn't stop the shaking of her hands or the churning of her stomach. Didn't stop Kaito's heart-wrenching screams from ringing in her ears, echoing loudly in her tormented mind.

'Something is wrong with me.' She realized suddenly as her heartbeat pulsed loudly in her ears. She looked down at her fingers, not really seeing them. It was like an out of body experience, she could feel her heart beating wildly in her chest and her uneven breaths escape her mouth, but it was like there was a thin film between the sensations, masking them so they couldn't truly be felt.

She had heard about something like this before, recalled the symptoms she was experiencing with an odd sense of clarity.

'I think I'm having a panic attack.' The sudden realization was odd, akin to an out-of-body experience as she stared down at her shaking hands with numb fascination.

She had heard that disassociation could be one of symptoms of a panic attack, but had never experienced one herself. And now that she was, she had no idea what to do.

She distantly recalled that having someone to talk to could help, grounding she was pretty sure it was called.

Tammi. Tammi might be able to help her.

With shaky hands, Yuko retrieved her phone from the pockets under her kimono, cursing as she fumbled with its blocky form and nearly sent it crashing to the ground. She just managed to affirm her hold on the device, powering it on and navigating through the glowing symbols.

Her shaky fingers scrolled through her limited contacts, quickly coming upon the name she was looking for. After a few fumbled presses, she finally managed to pull up the blonde's name, pressing the little green bubble that would connect her to her friend.

As the phone rang, Yuka was suddenly hit with the realization of just how late it was, almost eleven. There was a good chance that Tammi was asleep.

Still… 'Please please please pick up…' she thought to herself, pleading to whatever god was listening that her friend would answer her call.

The phone rang and rang without any answer, and just as she was about to give up and toss the phone away just like her mask, the ringing stopped, and her friend's voice came through the speakers.

"Yuko, I literally just fell asleep." Yuko could hear the sleepy annoyance in Tammi's words, clearly disgruntled at being woken up like this, "Can't this wait till tomorrow?"

With some effort, Yuko managed to untie her tongue from the knot it had found itself in, "Tammi, I-can you talk to me?" Yuko asked shakily, hands gripping the phone to the point the plastic began creaking. She did her best to ease up on the pressure, not wanting to break her phone by accident.

On the other side of the line, she could practically hear the gears turning in her friend's head as Tammi took in her distressed voice, "Huh? You wanted to talk about something?" She asked in sleepy confusion, and Yuko licked her dry lips.

"I-I just need… I just-" She couldn't get anything out. It was like a vice was constricting her throat, killing the words before they could get out and she sniffed as her vision blurred with even more tears.

Tammi's bed creaked audibly as she sat up, voice much more awake, "Hey, are you alright? You don't sound too good."

Her chest heaved, mind going back to Kaito's sightless eyes, "Please…" she whimpered, "Just talk, anything. Please…

There was a long moment where Tammi didn't say anything, before,

"The guy at Fugly Bob's messed up my order the other day." She began quietly, "I just wanted a regular cheeseburger with no pickles and extra ketchup, and he brought me out something that looked like the Challenger's younger sister. He gave me a discount which was cool, but I couldn't finish the whole thing so I brought it home but then my dad decided that it would be fine if he-"

Yuko latched onto the nonsensical ramblings as Tammi began talking about whatever inane topic came to her mind. She focused on the words the girl was spewing, focused on the syllables and their meaning as she pushed Kaito from her mind.

She listened as Tammi complained about how she had gotten a sprain in gym class last week and hadn't even been allowed to go to the nurse's office, and how her mother had been, as she put it, a real bitch recently because she was hanging out with her aunt more and more.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Yuko relaxed. Her breathing slowly returned to normal and her grip on her phone became more sure. Her hands ceased their shaking as Tammi diverted from talking about her family to the grades she had gotten in school recently.

And as she calmed down, Yuko was struck with an extreme sense of gratitude. She and Tammi had only been friends for a short while, and yet here she was doing her best to calm Yuko down without even knowing the reason for her panic.

She'd have to get the girl something nice to show her gratitude.

Eventually, Yuko was actually laughing alongside Tammi's story, shoulders free of tension as they moved up and down with her giggles.

"-and the thing had a spiked collar on and everything!" Tammi wrapped up her latest story, "Like anyone would ever think a poodle could be intimidating."

Yuko grinned softly as the last of her tension faded away, "I'm pretty sure that's to stop them from getting attacked by other dogs."

"Eh maybe. Nobody thinks that when they see it though." True enough she supposed.

"So are you okay now?" Tammi asked and Yuko gave an affirmative hum, "What was that all about?"

Yuko leaned her head back against the pot behind her, staring down at her mask, "I was having a panic attack I think."

"Yeah, no shit." She nearly laughed at the blonde's blunt response, "But why. Did something happen to you? You're at home right?"

"...Yeah, I am." Yuko hesitated. She definitely couldn't tell Tammi what the attack had been about, that would be ridiculous, "I-I cant say what caused it, sorry."

"...seriously?" Tammi clearly wasn't happy with her decision, and Yuko winced.

"I'm sorry." She repeated as she slowly stood from her place on the ground, "It's… really personal. I'm not really comfortable talking about it."

"Was it your dad? Did he do something to you?" Tammi's voice dropped from its light outrage to quiet concern and Yuko's eyes widened.

"No!" She said, immediately wincing at how loud she had been. She quietened her voice, "No, he'd never do anything like that."

Sure, her father had gotten angry before, but in all his rage he had never actually imposed it on her. Though, now that she was his right-hand, that could change.

Tammi hummed, and Yuko got the distinct impression that she was unconvinced for some reason, "Your dad, he's a-uh, he's Chinese right?"

Yuko didn't know what that had to do with anything, but gave an affirmative all the same, "Yeah, half-Chinese, half-Japanese. Both of my parents were." Yulo didn't know how exactly the racial logistics panned out with her, but it wasn't important at the moment, "Why?"

"No reason." Tammi said suddenly, and there was a short pause before she spoke again, "Just… is he really hard on you? Like has he ever…hit you for not doing good enough or something? You can tell me, you know? I'm not gonna tell anyone."

Yuko's eyes widened at the line of questioning, "What? Tammi, what are you talking about? My father has never struck me."

"...right. Sorry dude it's just, you call me in the middle of the night having a panic attack, and it's just you and your dad there and you won't tell me anything. I just kinda assumed… Sorry."

It wasn't just Yuko and her father at home, but Tammi had no way of knowing that. Despite the odd way she phrases it, Yuko knew that her friend was just trying to look out for her.

"Look, I can't tell you what caused it." Yuko spoke softly, "It-it's really personal. But I swear to you, my father is not the cause of it."

She could immediately tell that didn't sit right with Tammi, but the girl didn't say anything, "Alright."

Yuko sighed lightly. She sincerely wished that she could tell her best friend about what had caused her attack, if just to alleviate her worries. But that would mean telling her that she was a Parahuman and likely that she was a member of the ABB as well.

Somehow, she couldn't imagine that going over well with her blonde friend.

So for now, she just put it out of her mind. Maybe one day she could tell Tammi about it, but today was not that day.

"Thanks for answering so late at night Tammi. I really appreciate it." Yuko said quietly as she walked over to her mask. She picked it up, inspecting it for any significant damage and thankfully finding none apart from some small scuffs on the underside of the jaw.

"Sure thing dude. Hey, we still going to that new place that opened up in the mall? I heard they've got really weird shit in there."

Yuko gave a small giggle at the blonde's question, noting the eager tone, "Yeah, we're still going. It's not another taxidermy place is it?"

"Nah, I stopped going to those cause they always have a weird smell. Who woulda thought that a place full of dead animals would smell weird huh?"

Yuko rolled her eyes as she placed her mask back in her face, "Who indeed."

"Anyway, I'm going back to bed. Unlike you, I have to go to school in the morning." She snarked, and there was a small pause, "But hey uh, if you need anything else, you can call me. I don't really mind." She said.

Yuko giggled as she detected the hint of genuine concern in the girl's nonchalant voice, "I think I'm fine for now. Thank you Tammi, I'll be sure to make it up to you somehow."

"Nah it's fine."

Yuko shook her head even if Tammi couldn't see her, "No it's not. I want to show you how thankful I am." She bit her lip,trying to think of something she could do to show her appreciation.

"Dude, really it's fine." Tammi sounded exasperated, "I know you'd do the same for me if I was having issues. It's no big deal."

It really was, for Yuko at least. Tammi was literally her only friend and she really wanted to show the girl she appreciated her despite the few short months they had known each other.

She'd have to think on it, there was surely something she could do or buy for the girl to express her thanks.

For now, she should probably let Tammi go back to bed. She did have school in the morning after all, "Alright then, if you say so. I'm sorry again for waking you up. Try and get some sleep, don't stay up watching weird videos again."

Tammi chuckled tiredly, "We'll see, no promises. I'll talk to you later."

"Mhm."

Yuko took a deep breath as the line went dead, taking a look at the time. It was a little after midnight, the meeting was likely long since over. She was fine with that. She was pretty sure she wouldn't be able to stomach sitting through the meeting after what she had done.

Her father would surely have questions for her, but hopefully he would understand. She unlocked the door to the greenhouse, collecting herself.

She looked down at her hands, now firm and free of shaking, and thought back to what she had done one last time, coming to terms with it.

Kaito Nanaki was a dead man the moment he met with the Empire willingly. That Yuko was the one chosen to kill him was just an unfortunate circumstance. She was her father's right-hand now, and as such it was her duty to take care of the things he didn't have time for. She couldn't anguish over every traitor she would inevitably have to punish.

She took another calming breath, swallowing down any unnecessary feelings, before throwing open the door to her home proper.

Her first day as Yosei had been a short yet harrowing one, and as she began walking into the silent halls of her house, she could only pray the rest wouldn't be the same.

Or that at least it would get easier with time.