EPISODE 7 – ''MY FIRST ENCOUNTER WITH THE RESISTY STUNK (LITERALLY!)''

I was shocked, hearing the word '' Resisty''. Back in my world, I have been fantasizing about meeting Lard Nar and his crew personally, so I really, really craved to stand face to face with them, tell them who I am, where I come from and – the other way round – learn more about them, their backstories and so on and so on. But on. I just wasn't mentally prepared for this confrontation.

- Alright then. – I said. – Maybe… I'll go and get the magic book first.

- Wait! – the Formikan which queen Loo-mi-nah referred to as Loo-xiah, almost shouted, stopping me.

- Huh? What is it?

- If you're able to retrieve our Queen's book, could you… perhaps…

- Come on! Just say it.

- You know, when the Irken Armada attacked Formika, our nursery was among first to fall victim to their laser beams.

- So you want me to retrieve the babies too?

- Yes. I do.

- Ok, ok, I'll do it. But I must go now. See ya!

I teleported myself to another, more secluded place by using my kendama. I needed to keep it a secret, how I bring back all those things that were not in existance anymore. The answer is simple: my unicorn clock. It could not only make time stop, but also enavled me to travel to the past or to the future. That's right. I brought back all of Formikan plants and animals by capturing them in the moment htey were only few inches from the deadly rays of doom, coming to them from the sky. And I later did the same with queen Loo-mi-nah's magic book and everyone in the nursery. When I was back, the queen said:

- Oh! You're fast. That took you about seven seconds to retrieve my tome. And the… babies? Where are they anyway?

- Here is your precious book, Your Highness. – I stated, giving the object to its rightful owner. – And here – I pointed at my magically altered Tummy Stuffers giraffe. – are your precious subjects.

My plushie lowered its head and opened its mouth widely, letting out dozens of small Formikans and eight adults who were taking care of babies the day the Irken Armada attacked. They were so very confused by their sudden change of location. I couldn't help but laugh quietly.

- Huh? What happened? What are we doing here? And who are you? – asked one of saved Formikans, staring at me.

- Ummm… Could anybody, please, fill them in for me? I'm a bit busy. – I said to the crowd.

And so the other Formikans willingly fulfilled my request. I was a little tense. After all, I was going to meet the Resisty within the next few minutes.

- Are you okay, Solitaire? – asked princess Loo-nah with concern.

- Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I? – I lied.

Whay I really had in mind was: ''Dammit! Now I know how any fangirl feels before confrontation with her favourite actor, musician or author.''

- Loo-nah's right. – confirmed queen Loo-mi-nah. – You look kind of worried. Why? Is that about the ''Resisty'' members?

My whole body became stiff as a branch immediately.

- Have you heard of them before? – the queen asked one more question.

- Yeah. I know them. Sorta. And… a little bit. – I stammered.

I snapped out of my uptight state when a spaceship appeared on the horizon, coming towards us. That was not the Vortian ship shown in ''Backseat Drivers From Beyond The Stars''. In fact, that looked like nothing I've seen thrughout the series, whether in the cartoon or in the comic. The spaceship landed on a piece of bare ground. I was observing and wondering why they came in the first place.

- ''Do they already know?'' – I asked myself in thoughts.

Of course they must have heard of what happened on Formika. Otherwise they wouldn't even dare to get any nearby this planet. My Tummy Stuffers plushie, now empty, shrank back to its normal size before I hid it inside my toy powder compact. It was green and yellow with a pink flower and some tiny, colorful crystals glued to its surface. This particular magical artefact worked similarly to Pokeball. With one difference – I could keep in there not one, not two, but all toys I had. And my other properties as well. A few seconds later, the spaceship's door opened, letting out a group that consisted of various alien species, including a Vortian named Lard Nar. As soon as they left their vehicle, few dozens of Formikans standing closest to them, started acting very oddly, which baffled me. They were turning back, yelping and covering lower parts of their faces with their hands. Three or four of them fell on the ground, apparently fainted.

- What the hell…? – I mumbled. I flew up to them but quickly copied behaviour of Formikans.

- HOLY SHIT! – I cursed loudly and flew higher, beyond reach of the horrible stench the Resisties were producing. – What the fuck is wrong with their smell!? Have they had a hand-to-hand fight with an army of garbage mutants or what!?

- Uh…Excuse me! – Spleenk shouted to me. – You are wrong, miss! That was not a hand-to-hand fight with an army of garbage mutants. Just unfortunate contact with a horde of skunk grubs, is all. Besides…

- What!?

I noticed a shade of embarassment on Spleenk's face.

- I don't know if you know, but… we can see your underpants from down here.

For a little while, I was too angry to care about the odour. As quick as a flash (literally) I came really close to his face and shrieked:

- Oh yeah!? You are the ones who should be ashamed here! Your smell is way much worse than view of my underwear! Besides, my underpants are as pretty and fancy as the rest of my outfit.

It didn't take long before the stench of a thousand dirty, wrapped, pissed hoboes reminded me of its presence. I pinched my nose and said:

- Why haven't you guys washed yourselves before you came here?

- Sorry, sis, but defensive substance of skunk grubs is impossible to sweep out. It must go stale by itself.- announced Shloonktapooxis, hyperactive as usual.

- And how long exactly does it take for the smell to wear out?

- Four years.

- WHAT!?

- FOUR! YEARS!

- I heard what you just said! I'm not letting you to stink any longer. Just you wait.

I materialized a small soap bubble bottle, unscrewed the cap and turned it upside down. It was now dangling in the air and leveled at the bunch of aliens.

- Wait! – said Lard Nar nervously. – What are you going to do?

- Don't worry. This won't hurt at all. I promise. – I answered, smiling in a psychopathic way. I didn't mean them any harm, naturally. But I still liked to scare others, just for my own entertainment. I took a small breath blew into middle of plastic ring, creating hundreds of tiny bubbles that flew towards Lard Nar and his crew with speed of bullets. After that collision, they were all wet but clean and non-smelly. I got them dry with some pinwheels. Formikans gasped, happy to breath freely, without suffering. Shloonktapooxis sniffed and said:

- Hey! We do not stink anymore. COOL!

- You are right. – admitted Lard Nar. – But how? – he looked at me. – How did you do that?

- Magic. – I replied shortly, winking at him.

The Vortian cleared his throat and said:

- Well, I'm saying this on behalf of my entire group. Thank you for un-smelling us. We're very grateful.

- Anytime, captain Lard Nar. – I sent him a sweet little smile.

- Y-you know my name? – he asked, astonished.

- I do. But… I guess you do not know my name yet. I'm Solitaire.

- Nice to meet you, Solitaire. Now, if you excuse me, I'd like to have a talk with the queen.

The Vortian bowed to queen Loo-mi-nah, introduced himself and his anti-Irken resistance organisation. He unveiled the reason of their appearance. It turned out they used some wiretap technology to spy on the Massive. That's how they heard about monsters that came out of nowhere and killed all Irkens on Formika.

- Well, about that - you should rather ask Solitaire. Those monsters you're talking about, they happen to be hers. – said queen Loo-mi-nah, pointing at me.

- Oh, really? – Lard Nar turned around. He didn't seem to be convinced.

- Where are they now? – he asked.

- Over here. – I showed him my magical compact and opened it, releasing my toys that immediately turned into horrific versions of themselves. By doing that, I scared all aliens from the Resisty, especially Lard Nar, half to death.

- Don't be afraid. They won't hurt you. – I assured them.

- Right. – added queen Loo-mi-nah. – They are controlled by Solitaire's magic powers. She is on our side, but nevertheless, it wouldn't be very smart to annoy her.

Spleenk gave me an anxious look. I looked at him and smiled, reveiling my long, sharp teeth. He gulped and trembled minimally.