"What could be more solid than rock, less hard than water, and yet, water digs the hardest rocks. So persevere."

Ovid

Remus' whole body was in pain. From the tips of his toes to the top of his skull, pain seemed to run through every cell. Thousands of tiny needles seemed to be piercing every inch of his body. He was in excruciating pain, and of all the pains he had experienced in his life, this was clearly the worst. The full moon, which was already horribly painful, was nothing in comparison. Remus could barely think. If this was death, he must surely be in hell. He had thought, after all he had been through, that death would be a rest, but he was wrong. There was nothing restful about suffering. He couldn't move his body, his eyes remained closed no matter how hard he tried to open them, and silence was the only thing he could hear. He couldn't even scream out in pain. No sound came out of his mouth. Was he doomed to stay like this until the end? And what end? Was he, as in Greek mythology, condemned to the Underworld for his past deeds? And what actions? Being a werewolf? Failing to protect his family and friends? Having become a piece of soul for one of the worst dark mages?

He didn't know how long he'd been suffering. An hour? A day? A year? A century? He had no idea, and that was frustrating. He tried to open his eyes again, but to no avail. The effort seemed to be taking all his energy, but there was nothing he could do to conserve it, he was just suffering. It took all his willpower, and long pauses where the pain took over all his willpower, he couldn't even remember what he wanted to do before these peaks of pain, to finally manage to see something other than black. He was cruelly disappointed when he realised that he was now surrounded by white.

He immediately closed his eyes again, the white being too dazzling after so long in the dark. He still couldn't hear anything, nor could he move his body. He tried to open his eyes again, and the same white came right back into his retina. The pain was still present throughout his body, but he was now able to identify shadows in the sea of white. His vision was still very blurred, and he couldn't see exactly what was in front of him, but it was an improvement.

He stared at the shadows in front of him, and little by little his vision became clearer. He began to see hair colour and silhouettes more clearly, and then all at once his vision brightened and he could make out the figure of James in front of him, asleep in a chair, with Harry, also asleep, in his arms. He couldn't move his head, but out of the corner of his eye he could see Sirius and Remus to his right, slumped over each other. Despite his pain, he couldn't help but find them both cute, asleep like that. On his left, it was slightly more difficult to see what was going on, as his head was slightly turned the other way. He could see an arm and a leg, which must surely belong to Regulus judging by the size. He couldn't think of any other adult male. And even his presence was surprising. Remus couldn't think straight. He couldn't understand how he could be dead and yet see them so easily. Or maybe he wasn't dead, in which case it was a disaster because it meant he had failed.

He could also see hair, which, given the colour, must have belonged to Raphaël. Try as he might to turn his head to see more, he couldn't. He couldn't understand what was going on. He couldn't work out what was happening, whether he was hallucinating, whether he wasn't dead yet, and it was an image that would remain engraved in his memory forever, even though it had never existed. Remus was not yet fully aware of his surroundings, but little by little he was able to move his body, first his fingers, then his toes, then his wrists, and finally, after several attempts that seemed to last for hours, he managed to move his head, and turned it to the left.

His heart sank at the sight of Hermione. She didn't look well at all. She looked pale and fragile, alone in her chair, in her oversized jumper, and despite the terrible pain Remus felt, he felt bad for her, so helpless did she look, simply by her posture. All the same, he was reassured to see that Raphaël was not too far from her, and that he had fallen asleep holding her hand. He did not look away from her, preferring to admire her one last time before he died for good.

But his death did not seem to come, as his eyes met Hermione's some time later. The young woman blinked several times, unsure of her gaze, but she had to face the facts: Remus was awake. Cautiously, she detached herself from Raphaël and took a few steps forward to take Remus's hand. Remus didn't really feel the contact, he knew Hermione was touching him, but he couldn't feel her skin on his.

"Why did you do that? How could you think it was the only way? Why didn't you tell me? We would have figured it out, Rem. For fuck's sake. You know I wouldn't have given up. Harry managed to survive the destruction of a horcrux inside him, why can't you? You think leaving me alone right now is a good idea? I'm losing control of what's going on, and you decide to leave me in charge? I need you, Rem. How can you even think about abandoning me? You know how long it took me to get used to the idea that Ron and Harry hadn't abandoned me. You know that abandonment is my greatest fear. Why did you do this to me? I don't care if there's a horcrux in you. And silver? I mean, seriously? Who have you become to be as oblivious as this? Silver, Rem. It's hard enough to die without telling me. Then silver? What were you thinking? You know that silver is deadly for us. But it's not just deadly, it's the worst physical pain a werewolf can feel. How could you do this to yourself? If you just wanted to kill the horcrux in you, you didn't need this! And not only are you hurting yourself, you're hurting all of us. Raphaël is probably going to be traumatised for the rest of his life because of what he saw, and I don't see how I'm going to be able to take that vision of horror away from myself. We all care about you here! I don't understand, Rem'. I don't understand why you wanted to die in such horrible conditions. Goddamn it! I love you, Rem, you know that! And it kills me to see you like this, in this bloody hospital bed."

Throughout her monologue, Hermione hadn't taken her eyes off Remus. Her gaze had become blurred by her tears, but her eyes had remained resolutely anchored in Remus'. She didn't care if she was heard, didn't care if she woke the others, didn't care about the rest of the wizard's battered body, all she cared about was staring into his eyes, and pouring out everything that was in her heart. She wasn't really aware of the outside world any more, and didn't hear the others calling her anxiously.

"Mum!"

It was Raphaël who woke her from her torpor, shouting the name he had given her, his voice full of fear.

"Grace, let him go, he's stopping again."

Hermione's gaze roamed over Remus's body, and she saw that he was convulsing, and that he was indeed in cardiac arrest again. She immediately moved away from him as Madam Pomfresh came running. She was shocked; she didn't think he could have another cardiac arrest now that his condition had stabilised. He was supposed to be getting better! The dialysis should have made him better. She felt Raphaël's small body snuggle up to her, well small, everything was relative, the boy was growing at a crazy speed, and was close to catching up with Hermione, but she preferred to think that he was still the little one she had met. She stroked his hair gently as he sobbed again. Raphaël wasn't the kind of teenager who was very expressive, he didn't talk much about what he was feeling, but Hermione knew that he had to have a good cry if he wanted to get better. Even though he'd already done it yesterday, he needed to. And no matter what he said, he was still a child. And children, whatever their age, needed to express themselves, whether through words, gestures or tears.

Madam Pomfrey moved away from Remus once more, and told them that she had managed to stabilise him, at least for the time being. With the help of several spells, she continued her analysis, and everyone could see with relief that he no longer had any silver in his blood. So she stopped the whole process, taking her time to undo the mechanism. But she knew that nothing was certain. It was good news that Remi had no more money in his blood, but he still had some in his heart, brain, lungs... And until the money was definitively out of the vital organs, all the organs in fact, he wouldn't be safe, and the cardiac arrests would continue, until one of them proved fatal.

An alarm sounded in the room, and everyone stood up in one movement, except Hermione, who simply pulled away from Raphaël.

"What the hell is this? Are we under attack?"

"Not in the slightest. It's an alarm that warns if anyone enters the Shrieking shack, and it's Friday, I've no idea what time it is, but it must be close to eleven pm, so there's no reason to panic."

"Oh. I didn't know there was an alarm, I'd never heard it before. Are you sure you want to go? Everyone understands if you want to stay close to Remi."

"It's my turn to go. And Moody's not even here."

"It's not up to you two to run the whole Order. I can go if you like."

"Sirius, come on! You can't see each other. We don't need two more dead bodies on our hands."

"Regulus can go!"

"Thanks Sirius, but I'll be fine. You know very well what Moody will say, and whatever you think, he's the leader of the Order. Look after him well."

Hermione squeezed Remus's hand one last time, then turned, summoned a cloak and hurried out of the infirmary. She walked briskly through the corridors of Hogwarts, wanting to get back to Remus as soon as possible, but she had responsibilities within the Order, and she wasn't going to just drop everything. Moody had been on a mission for a fortnight, and it was out of the question for anyone other than the two of them to take on this task. Constant vigilance. She knew that she was one of the only people the paranoid auror trusted, and that it was a privilege. He trusted Remus, but it wasn't the same. Even though he knew they were hiding a great many things, over the years he had learned to trust them.

It was pouring down rain, but that didn't stop Hermione, her cloak wasn't really protecting her, but it didn't matter, once she was dry, a spell would do the trick. She ran as fast as she could towards the Shrieking shack, almost slipping several times, but she reached her destination without falling in the mud, which in itself was a small victory. She immediately cast a drying and warming spell on herself, there was no way she was going to fall ill. She carefully descended the old stairs and arrived in the small room of the hut.

"Hello, Severus."

The man in front of her removed his hood and stared straight at her, waiting for what was to come. It wasn't her week, Moody came on the odd weeks, but the Auror was probably on a mission, so he didn't let his surprise show.

"Helena."

"There's nothing new on our side, Moody's on a mission, I'd rather not tell you about it until I know the outcome. On the in-and-out front, a student is leaving the country in three days' time and one of her aunts has resurfaced. The Tonks are returning to Hogwarts, I don't know if you remember, they were away apprehending attacks in Ireland and neighbouring countries. Andromeda was trying to convince the politicians, her education has taught her the tricks of the trade, but she feels there's nothing more she can do, and she'll be there with her husband and their daughter in three days' time too. Those injured in the last battle have all left the infirmary, and only Remi has entered. I'll tell you all about it later. How about you?"

"Its short-term objective is to eliminate Muggle political leaders. There was a meeting the day before yesterday. Teams were formed. His aim is to strike a blow, he knows that the Muggles are afraid of him, he understood that after you spoke. It's all they talk about on television, it's all the wizards' fault. The strike will take place in exactly one week's time. I don't know the time yet, probably in broad daylight, it won't make enough noise if it's during the night. For the moment, only the nearest countries are involved. There are seven teams, so probably seven countries. I'm leaning towards the United Kingdom, Ireland, France, Germany, Belgium, the Netherlands and Norway, but I could be wrong."

"No, it's probably those. Those are the seven countries where his influence is highest. Where will you go?"

"Germany, unless he changes his mind."

"East Germany or West Germany?"

"Berlin. That's east, isn't it?"

"Haven't you ever heard of the Cold War? Germany was divided in two at the end of World War II, with the Americans ruling West Germany and the Russians East Germany. Berlin is the capital and is also split in two. The city is in East Germany, but half of it belongs to West Germany, and the two sides are separated by a wall, the Berlin Wall. So you've never really heard of it?"

"No. And I don't think the Dark Lord has heard of it either."

"It would be better if you knew who you were going to attack, in any case, it's not good, if all the leaders of these countries die, we'll trigger an unprecedented political crisis. And I fear that the other countries will be looking for someone to blame, and that the UK will be accused."

"So we're going to end up having to deal with muggles as well as wizards. As if we didn't have enough to deal with."

"I'll try to get hold of wizards from all these countries, we need a few aurors who follow the heads of state, but not too many, otherwise it'll be suspicious, and Voldy can't suspect that you've revealed so many details to us."

"I'm not even supposed to tell you, officially only attacks on small villages are planned."

"I can imagine. You won't have much to tell him either. Don't mention Moody's mission, there's too little information for him to be satisfied. But the Tonks' return, you can inform him, especially since he still doesn't know what happened to Bellatrix, if his sister comes back, you'd better tell him before he finds out on the battlefield and you get tortured afterwards."

"I'd do that. What happened with Remi?"

"I don't know if this is the right time to tell you, I'd rather know if he's going to be all right before I say anything."

"Is it as bad as all that?"

"He's been infected by silver."

"If it's just an infection and Madam Pomfresh is treating him properly, there's no need to worry."

Hermione let out a gasp of surprise, then explained the facts to the spy.

"I thought you knew. He's the one who bit me. He's already had several cardiac arrests. I've got to go back there, I promised I'd be back soon. Contact me via the mirror if you need to get in touch before the attack, I don't know what state we'll be in, we'll plan the meeting later. Good luck this week."

And as soon as she had said those last words, Hermione ran off the way she had come, leaving behind a haggard Snape, who had just realised what the witch had said. Hermione did not return to the infirmary immediately, but headed for the room where Remus had mutilated himself. She put on gloves and covered any surface of her skin that might come into contact with silver. She entered cautiously, and turned immediately to the circle that had been drawn. A large black stain had spread across the centre, but Hermione couldn't work out its consistency. It smelt like dark magic, and she was sure that was what it was, it looked like ashes, but when she touched the material, she realised that it was viscous. She jumped when she heard a noise behind her, and raised her wand at the person who had entered, before lowering it when she realised it was Sirius.

"Oh, it's you. Sorry."

"You shouldn't be here. It's too dangerous for you, you might get infected, and honestly, we don't need that. Let me sort this stuff out for you."

"There's too much dark magic in the air. I can't let anyone else do it. And why did you come here on your own? You're the one who found it. You shouldn't come here either."

"I'm the only person apart from you who's free and has mastered dark magic. James wanted to come, but I persuaded him to stay with Harry, Remus didn't want to leave Remi, and Regulus... It's best he doesn't get too close to dark magic. He might as well stay with Raphaël. And if you want to stay, protect yourself properly. Your Muggle clothes aren't going to do the trick. This isn't a crime scene from a novel, there's a risk of contamination, which is pretty high given that we don't know exactly where the money was put. So put a proper spell on yourself, and we can put all this away.

"There's no spell that can effectively protect the whole body from the rest of the room."

"Of course there is. Don't you know it? It's a well-known spell! How do you think they did it at St. Mungo's when they needed a sterile place? It's an extension of the Bubble-Head charm."

Sirius cast the spell on Hermione, who couldn't believe she'd never heard of it. They then began to clear and clean the room. Hermione had taken care to put aside the horcrux that Remus had extracted from her body, so at least the operation had worked. She was amazed to see the mind-blowing number of books on dark magic that Remus had in his possession, and she suspected that they weren't all there, and that there must be an astronomical quantity hidden in his room. Some of the things of the past few months made sense, but Hermione blamed herself terribly. She knew Remus was hiding something important from her, but for once she hadn't insisted on knowing what, she was doing the same with the prophecy. But she should have seen that something was wrong. She should have seen that Remus was reading more than usual, isolating himself more and more, and above all, that he was casting such spells on the battlefield. Thinking about it now, she knew that his way of fighting had changed, but she hadn't been more alarmed than that. She should have been.

She could see the amount of research Remus had done, and despite her anger, she was no less impressed. He must have been painstakingly preparing for this day for months. For the first time in a long time, Hermione was frightened. She was frightened to see how much Remus had learned about horcruxes, frightened that Remus had spent months, even years, poring over those dreadful books of dark magic. She could feel Sirius's gaze on her, she knew that he was aware of Remus's extensive knowledge of the subject, and Hermione felt her heart quicken. She could feel her concern rising, but the agreement to remain silent was tacit, she didn't want to talk about it, and Sirius didn't seem very motivated either. They put away most of the junk, the most dangerous too, even though everything in this room was dangerous. They sealed it, so that anyone other than the two of them who wished to enter the room would be denied access. They made a diversion to Hermione's room where she placed the books in a crate, which she closed with a spell; she didn't want the magic from the books to be able to spread throughout her room, and she didn't sleep well enough as it was, so there was no point in adding an aura of dark magic to the air.

They then went back down to the infirmary, still without a word. Once through the doors, Hermione immediately rushed to Remus' bedside and asked for news, but Madam Pomfrey simply replied that there had been no change. Hermione saw that James had fallen asleep in a bed a few yards away, Harry's little body cradled in his arms. She knew that the little boy was having trouble sleeping at the moment, nothing original with the war in full swing outside, and James had had to rock him to sleep, but it seemed that it was he who had fallen asleep first, his son joining him a few minutes later. She was surprised to see that Remus, the younger, had not moved an inch from his seat, and was still staring at his double. His face was neutral, and Hermione wondered briefly what he was thinking at the moment. Sirius put his hand on her shoulder, but he didn't take his eyes off the prone body.

Regulus stood a little to one side, as always, but as soon as they had entered, Raphaël had moved towards Hermione. She had slumped down on the next bed and the teenager had come and snuggled up to her. She was thinking of a solution, the stable state wasn't going to last forever, but nothing came to mind. Slowly, she freed herself from Raphaël's embrace and sat up. She'd lost her habits, but as a child, most of the time she'd found the answers to her questions in one place.

"I'm going to the library."

"I'll come with you."

"Why don't you get some rest? It's late Raphaël, you'd better get some sleep. Take the bed you like best, this one, or the one next to James, and please try to get some sleep. It'll do you good. I know it's hard to sleep in these conditions, but if you want to be able to help, you'd better have a clear head."

Raphaël nodded grudgingly and made his way to the bed next to James and Harry. Hermione kissed him on the forehead, then left the infirmary, Regulus following in her footsteps.

"I am coming with you. We'll be more effective together."

And the two friends walked together towards the library, hoping with all their hearts to find the answers they were looking for.