Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Detentioonaire.
A/N: Here's a mass update for the holiday!
To those who'll celebrate it, I hope you have a safe and Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or whatever you celebrate, and a safe and Happy New Year! (Especially if I update something you haven't read before then.)
REMEMBER TO VOTE IN THE NEW STAR WARS POLL! I'll skip updating the story for two rounds and then skip one round afterward, as I only have five chapters left until the last episode to stretch the poll out.
Contributor: KuronDono12.
Chapter IX: 15th Graders.
Lee's House 7:00 AM
Lee looks at the clues he's gathered to prove his innocence before looking at the plan email that he got.
I'm one of the guys who got detention for a whole year for pulling off the biggest prank in high school history. Except, we didn't do it. And trying to prove that little fact hasn't exactly been easy. But things changed when the mastermind behind the whole prank made contact with me. I came this close to finding out who it was, but they got away! I still don't know who switched our bags and set us up for the prank. But there's one thing I do know.
He then looks at the email on his phone having his reflection come up on the screen. "If I don't find out who 'Radcircles' is, Naruto and I may never see life outside detention again!"
Football Field 3:30 PM
At 4:15, detention gets out. Problem is, we don't have detention today, and if I don't make it back to the car before my mom does, I'll be grounded till college.
Lee is running down the track that rings the football field. He is being chased by three large students and the Red Tazelwurm.
The first is bald with tan skin wearing circular goggles and green coveralls with brown boots.
The next is very muscular and has fair skin wearing a trucker cap covering his eyes, long brown hair in a ponytail wearing a chain as a necklace, a black sleeveless shirt with TNT in red with a yellow fist over the N, and ripped jeans with boots.
The final is slightly overweight with fair skin wearing a black bandanna with a white skull on it covering his eyes wearing brown coveralls with a black shirt and boots.
Okay, skill-testing question. What's worse: death by fifteenth grader, the Tazelwurm
Lee then looks forward and sees his mother walking out of the building.
Or Mom?
Earlier that day… 7:37 AM
Lee is riding to school with his mom. "Lousy traffic!" She swerves, and Lee's head knocks against the window.
"Oof. Ow!"
Beep!
His phone beeps, and he checks it. "A calendar reminder?" He asks as he brings his phone up and sees that there are ten numbers on it: 1287-24-12-19. "I never put these numbers here."
"Lee Ping. No texting while driving, you know that isn't safe." His mother says and swerves, having Lee drop his phone. "See?"
Later, Lee meets up with his friends as they walk into the school, Naruto having a black compress sleeve on his left arm. "Check it out, guys. It's some weird number sequence. Do you think Radcircles emailed it to me?" Lee asks holding his phone up before Camillio grabs it.
"You can't email numbers into a calendar. You gotta type that stuff in by hand, bro! Or in your case, by some weird prank person's probably like totally creepy hand." Lee's eyes narrow before Cam grabs Holger's drink and sips from it. "Aah, brain freeze! Is that, like, bacon?"
Holger nods at that "Jeah, of course. Bacon, eggs, and sausage breakfast smoothie. Yummy, no?"
"No/No/No." The three say to him.
Cam holds out Holger's smoothie so he can take it back, but instead, the Red Tazelwurm grabs it from on top of the lockers and takes off with the drink. "Aah! Holger's drink go bye."
"Wait. I always keep my phone on me, except for the time I had that crazy fever and the Tazelwurm stole it from me!" Lee says as Naruto looks over.
"What?"
"It left you its phone number? Aww, that's so sweet, dude. So what do Tazelwurms like to do on a first date? See a movie, munch on furry rodents?" Cam asks him as Lee takes his phone back.
"Seriously, what do these numbers mean, is it code?"
"You're the math whiz, numero man." Cam shrugs as Naruto takes the phone and holds it up as he was opening his locker.
"Locker number? All our locker has 4 numbers on them."
Lee blinked at that before seeing Naruto's number was 1010, then looked back to see 1228 on another before Tina spoke on the intercom.
"Would the following students report to Room 113b: Chopper McNeal and Freddy Patterson."
"What if the first four numbers are a locker number? Thanks, Naruto!" Lee says before running off.
Lee walks down the halls trying to track down locker #1287. Currently, he is tracing his way down a row of lockers. "Twelve seventy-eight, twelve seventy-nine–" He stops as the chain of lockers is broken by the appearance of a new hallway that's barely lit. "Aw, man. The forbidden hall. Common sense says I should stay out, but..." He trails as he enters the hallway.
"Twelve eighty-two, twelve eighty-three, twelve eighty-four..." He comes up to locker #1287. It is pristine among a bunch of dented, broken lockers. "Maybe the other numbers are the lock combo! Twenty-four… weird, this is like the only locker around that hasn't been destroyed."
As soon as the words leave Lee's mouth, a fist plows into the locker, denting it. The first belongs to a tall, muscular man. He is flanked by two of his friends.
"Well well, Lee Fling looks lost!" Chopper, the bald one says with a smile punching his palm.
"It's Lee–" Lee stops as one of the bullies grabs him by the chest and flings him into a bank of lockers.
"Fling, like he said!" Stinky, the one in the bandanna laughs.
Chopper then gets in Lee's face. "This is our hallway!"
Lee nods at that and stands. "Right, so I'll just be–" He stops as Emmett, the muscular one punches a locker next to Lee.
"Anyone who cuts through our hallway, gets a date with us on the football field, after school!" Chopper threatens as Lee smiles.
"Heh. Guys, I already have a girlfriend."
Emmett chuckles but stops as Chopper glares at him.
"Shut it! 'Kay, Mister Funny Guy! We'll show you what's funny!"
Stinky laughs and pulls out a blue and yellow jester hat. "This clown hat!" He then puts the hat on Lee.
"And what's gonna happen to you at three-fifteen? Football field, be there! Find us, or we'll find you." Chopper said poking Lee in the chest and Lee takes off just as Emmett's fist crashes into the locker right where Lee's head was.
Lee stops outside the hall after ducking behind some lockers to hide. "Oh well." Lee shrugs taking off the clown hat. "Too bad I have detention and can't make the date."
Lee walks out of a class to find students running pell-mell through the hall.
"Outta my way!"
"Go, go!"
A yellow water balloon speeds through the air and splatters on Lee's shirt. "Incoming!" The fifteenth graders yell as they hit the hall with a water-balloon barrage using trash can catapults.
Camillio runs up to Lee holding a binder over his head. "Bro! You went down the machine shop wing? Nobody uses that hallway. Ever! You mess with their turf man; they mess with the school!"
A water balloon smacks Cam in the face and Chaz, wearing a flak jacket and military helmet, sneaks over to Lee. "Lee Ping? The Chaz. Word in the hallway is you're soiréeing with the fifteenth graders after school. Question, um, death wish much?" Tina runs up and bumps him aside.
"Outta the way, Chaz. Lee, seriously, off the record, what are you thinking? The fifteenth graders?"
Chaz gets up and runs away. "Aah! Aaaaaah!" He suddenly appears on screen behind the news desk to do a broadcast.
"Wow, that guy's fast."
Naruto said walking up holding Lee's and his backpack. "What's that?" Lee asks as Naruto tosses him his bag.
"Our backpacks were in that locker… I remembered the number and waited for the 15th Graders to leave." Naruto replied as Chaz caught his breath and then spoke.
"Uh, this just in. Football field, three-fifteen. It's been years since someone was deluded enough to mess with the fifteenth graders. But that didn't stop prankster Ping. I'll be broadcasting live, so be sure to tune in for 'Ping Gets Dinged.'" He laughs. "Like that? I just made it up right now."
"Don't worry. I have detention after school. I'm immune. Watch this." Lee struts down the hall towards the laughing fifteenth graders. They stop laughing when they see him. "C'mon, guys, put the water balloons away. What're you, like five? This is between me and you guys. So why don't you be cool for a change and leave everyone else out of it."
"Nail 'im!"
Each fifteenth grader grabs a balloon and hurls it at Lee who ducks, and all three balloons miss. One of them sails over Biffy's shoulder, one is caught in Biffy's hands, and one of them slams into a passing nerd. The vice principal walks up and spots the balloon in Biffy's hands.
"Biffy T. Goldstein. Honestly! Double detention." She said before walking over to Naruto and Lee. "And Lee Ping. Naruto... You'll be pleased to know that you don't have any detention today at all."
"Why not?" Naruto asks with a raised eyebrow.
"Charter of Student Rights. There's a clause stating that year-long detentionaires get one amnesty day off. And today is that day." She says as the principal walks up narrowing his eyes.
"A free pass? For them? No way."
"It says so right here," Victoria says as she pulls out a huge scroll of paper.
Barrage takes it, reads it, and frowns. "This isn't over, Ping. Uzumaki."
"This works out because I can use Mr. Uzumaki here with an errend."
"What?" Naruto asks as Barrage looks over.
"Yes, I need some help moving the outdated books from the library and into storage," She says before walking having Naruto sigh and follow.
"Looks like your little escape plan didn't quite work out!" Chopper laughs at Lee. "See you at 3:15, 'Lee Fling!'" He finishes as he and his cronies leave.
Biffy walks up to Lee at that. "Man! I don't even mess with those guys. You sure you know what you're doing?" He asks as Lee gulps.
Lunch.
A huge glob of yellowish glop is dumped onto Lee's plate in the lunchroom.
"My only free day, and of course it's..." He trails and glances at the glop. "What is this?" He asks the lunch lady who narrows her eyes.
"Eat it."
Lee backs away from the threatening lunch lady before Brandy runs up to him. "Lee! Your sacrifice makes me want to cry." She hugs him. "This fight of yours after school? If you win, I'll be the winner's girlfriend, if you lose, I'll be the widow! Pity popular!" Brandy leaves as Chaz comes on television, making a broadcast.
"A. Nigma, don't forget, when class is done, tune in for the fun! When I give you live, streaming video of today's after-school special, 'Ping Gets Dinged!'"
The crowd cheers and Lee, unmoved, sits down at a table with his friends. "Man, the school is going loco over this!"
Lee sighs at that. "I need to be in detention today. Oh, the not-so-delicious irony."
"So, make with new prank to get the new detention." Holger says having Lee smile.
"Yeah. Great idea, Holger! Time to mash this party up!"
Lee slings some of his lunch across the lunchroom. It hits Giuseppe's hair and sticks there. "Food fight!" Cam starts slinging food around and manages to cover the faces of Druscilla and Steve in glop.
The cheerleaders get into the act and plaster the skaters. Soon, the entire lunchroom is covering each other, except for the lunch lady, Giuseppe, and a random nerd, all of whom get plastered, and Holger, who calmly continues to eat.
"Stop that this very instant," Victoria speaks walking in and crossing her arms over her bust. Four cleaners rush in with large vacuuming hoses as Giuseppe wipes the glop away from his face. "Didn't anyone ever tell you not to play with your food, Giuseppe Stern?"
"But it–totally wasn't me," Giuseppe said as Lee walked over.
"And lying too!" She says as Lee stops by them and smiles.
"He's telling the truth. It was me."
"Isn't that sweet? Covering for your friend."
Lee blinks as Victoria speaks. "What?"
Victoria grabs Giuseppe and walks out. "Maybe detention will give you time to realize why we don't start food fights."
The vice principal hauls the emo away as Lee walks back to his friends. "So now getting detention is hard?"
"No one said life was easy, bro. You just gotta try harder at being bad!" Cam says as Lee smiles sinisterly as he gets an idea.
Later, he is copying out pictures of his face as Holger sings spy music in his ear.
"Dun do dun dun dun, dit dit do dun dun, duh duh dun, duh duh duh dun dun, Lee Ping he is spying!"
Lee runs down the halls and ducks into a janitor's closet.
"Do do do, Holger backs him up with music and dum dum dum dum, Lee Ping, dum dum dum dum."
Lee grabs a ring of keys off of the janitor's desk and uses them to unlock a trophy case.
"For the king dit doot do, je de dum dum, dum dum, chi cha chi cha cha." Lee has placed a bunch of framed pictures of him inside the trophy case. He stands back to admire his handiwork.
"Cha cha cha, ba ba ba ba."
"Okay, thanks Holger. We're good." Lee says once finished as Holger stops
"Okay."
Barrage's Office
Barrage is in his office, closely examining the school charter as Victoria stands in front of him. "The Charter of Student Rights, Paragraph nine-hundred and twelve."
"Blah blah blah. Just show me the part where it says Ping and Uzumaki get a snow day!" Suddenly, his cyborg eye beeps and he notices a disturbance in the security cameras. He stares at the trophy case. "What, in the name, of Sam Sweet, Sweet Potato Farm, have we got here?" Lee appears onscreen, waving his arms. "Vice Principal, you see what happens when Ping isn't detained."
"We just gave the boy a free pass. You really think he's trying to get detention?" Victoria says looking at the screen.
The principal contemplates her words. He then spots Irwin and Ed laughing at Lee. "Bingo! Red-handed!" The principal presses a button on a remote.
Out in the hall, Ed and Irwin are carried away by a pair of janitors. "What? Aw, come on." Lee sighs as he crosses his arms.
Later, Lee is in math class with his friends. "How could Barrage not know that I was the one who did the prank?"
Camillio looks over at that. "On the plus side, this whole event is making you mucho popular. On the not-so-plus side, uh, the whole 'they're gonna kill you' thing."
"Too bad Lee's spooky-large man-foes not get detention too." Holger says as Lee blinks. "Dude, when you're hot, you're hot!" Holger proudly flexes in recognition of his hotness. "Thinking-wise. Not looks-wise."
Holger slumps at that. "Ohhh."
"If I can't get detention, I'll get the fifteenth graders detention! Yeah!" Lee cheers at that.
Shop Class.
The fifteenth graders are in a shop class. Lee peeks in, accompanied by Holger. "Bum ba dun duh da dun dun, da dun dun ditty do dun-!"
"Ssh!" Lee shushes Holger who stops singing.
Lee makes hand signals, and Holger responds in kind. Annoyed, Lee snaps his fingers and points, and Holger sneaks into the room. He sneaks over to the window as Lee follows him, spreading birdseed on the floor as nobody notices them.
"Coo!" Holger sounds as he opens a window.
Lee and Holger quickly sneak out. A bunch of birds fly into the classroom. "Aah! Filthy flying rats!"
The teacher has a pompadour and is wearing coveralls, swings a broom at the birds, and hits a propeller motor. The motor turns on and the wheeled table it's mounted on rolls about the room. The fifteenth graders laugh until the motor and table crash into the car they're working on.
Barrage's Office.
The vice principal has gotten some popcorn while Barrage tries to find a loophole. "I say we just rip this whole bunch of nonsense up and throw Ping and Uzumaki back in detention."
"That goes against every rule in the book." She says shaking her head as the monitor begins beeping.
"Now what?" He asks bringing up the shop class. "Birds in school? Artsy. Only one group could cause that kind of chicanery. The Birdwatcher's Club!"
The principal presses a button on a remote. Soon, a girl with blonde hair gets hauled into detention.
Later, Lee is in class with Holger giving him a shoulder massage to ready him for the fight. "Maybe Holger tell Barrage that fifteenth graders switch Lee's bag so face not get kafluffashuffle?"
Lee shook his head at that. "He'd never believe you. We'd need proof! If Naruto has any we can't get to him as he's helping the VP. Hold on. If I can get Chopper to admit on tape that he did the whole prank, this might all be worth it. Holg, I need your help." He asks as Holger smiles.
Football Field 3:10 PM
A crowd has gathered in the bleachers as Lee takes the field and faces down his opponents.
Nadene runs up to him. "Lee! Don't do this! It's crazy!"
Lee sighs at that. "I don't have a choice, Nadene. If I run, they'll just come after me the next day. Or the day after that."
Lee grins confidently and pats Nadene on the shoulder. He then walks towards the fifteenth graders. Suddenly, Lee gasps seeing the fifteenth graders have hooked up a row of lockers to blocking sleds. As Lee watches, Emmett works his way down the line, punching each locker. Lee soon calms down, however, and taps his earpiece. "Okay Holger, you hear me?"
"Ya!"
"A confession is what we're aiming for, so don't stop recording for any reason."
Holger is in the bleachers with a field microphone and gives Lee a thumbs-up.
Chaz who was broadcasting looks at the camera. "Emmett's massive fists are all warmed up. Which one will he throw first, left or right, I don't know. Will my hairspray last, it is a little breezy. The tension mounts."
Stepak turns around and takes a panning shot of the crowd and spots Holger and the equipment. "Hey! The A.V. Club was supposed to return that to me! Give it back!" He runs over and starts to wrestle Holger for the equipment.
"Holger needs giant ear." Stepak tickles Holger, and Holger relaxes, relinquishing his grip on the microphone. As soon as he does so, Stepak plucks the headphones away from him and walks away. "Aww."
Lee, having seen the confrontation, sighs. "My phone'll have to do. If it survives this." He says as he sets the phone to record sound.
Chopper walks over and grins. "Bet you wish you never walked down our hallway now!"
"Sorry, could you repeat that?" Lee asks as he holds the phone up to record their voices. "So why'd you pull the prank?"
"Enough with the questions!"
Lee narrowed his eyes at Chopper. "I just wanna know why you did it. And why blame me for it?"
Stinky laughs at that. "Uh, 'cause it was funny?"
Stinky takes a swing at Lee who ducks, and Stinky topples over. Chopper dives at Lee, and he leaps out of the way before Lee dodges Emmett's blow and stands between two lockers. "Funny? You ruined my life!"
Emmett slams a fist into a locker, and Lee runs. Emmett hurls two lockers at him, both of which Lee barely stays ahead of. When the lockers end, though, Stinky is waiting. "Can you just stand still?"
Stinky moves to grab Lee, but Lee dodges and Stinky ends up falling face-first into a locker just as Emmett punches it into Stinky's face. Stinky falls and the crowd cheers as Lee makes a break for it but ends up running into Chopper who grabs Lee by the shirt. "Just tell me, which one of you is Radcircles?"
Chopper grins as he looks at the others who walk up. "Who? Oh, that. Yeah, we're all Brad Goebbels. Him, me, and him."
"Brad Goebbels? You guys don't have a clue what I'm talking about, do you? You're not Radcircles and you never did the prank!" Lee says and in response, Chopper cocks his fist and sends it flying towards Lee's nose.
"LEE PING!"
Chopper's fist stops short, and Lee finds himself being hauled away from the fight with his mom by his earlobe. "Just because you don't have detention today doesn't mean you can rough house with your friends."
"Aw, man. A mommy drag-away? Uncoolio! Aw, stick a fork in my rep, man, I am done!" Cam sighs as the crowd starts to laugh.
"These fists are hitting somebody! If it isn't you, who's it gonna be?" Chopper asks as Holger waves.
"Hellooo!"
Up ahead, Lee's mother throws him into the passenger seat of their car and shuts the door. "I forgot my purse. If you are not in this car when I come back, you'll be grounded till… Forever." She absconds but soon returns and hands him the keys. "Here. You can listen to the radio if you want. But don't change the station!" She heads for the school as Lee gets a call on his phone.
"Amigo! Chopper wasn't kidding! He's gonna rearrange everyone's favorite Euro-dude's face!"
"Haaoooh! Haaoooh! I'm too wonderful to die!"
Lee's eyes widen at that. "Holger! Oh no, he isn't." He hangs up on Camillio and makes another call.
"Ping. Still alive?" Biffy asks him ass Lee hears the others who got the blame for his pranks earlier.
"Boo!"
"What a wimp."
"Who's that with you?" Lee asks him.
"The new detentionaires have all formed a Down With Lee club."
Lee raised an eyebrow at that. "You included?"
"Ah, hate's for losers. You, I tolerate."
"I'm touched. Look, Biffy, my mom's coming back into school. Can you hold her off as long as you can?"
"Seeing how it's your last request, sure."
Up ahead, Holger is being dangled upside down, his blonde locks trailing on the ground. "Whahahahoooh! My hair! It never gets dirty! Noho! Nooohohhho!"
"Let him go," Lee spoke walking towards the bullies with a determined look on his face. "His luscious locks have nothing to do with this."
Chopper smiles, and his compatriots drop Holger. Both sides crack their knuckles as they stand twelve yards away from each other. Suddenly, the tension is broken when the pair of hazmats walk by carrying the chained-up Red Tazelwurm. "Now, where were we?" Chopper cracks his knuckles, and as one the trio advances on Lee.
Lee retreats, his look of anger never fleeing from his face. Meanwhile, Tina is haranguing the crowd. "Fellow students. The fifteenth graders aren't only a threat to Lee Ping, they're a threat to all of us! Who will join me in helping Lee stand up to them once and for all?"
Nobody in the crowd accepts her offer as crickets are heard chirping. Lee backs up to where Tina is. "So. How many wedgies, purple nurples, noogies, swirlies, deep pantsings, and hertz doughnuts does it take before you finally graduate? A hundred? A thousand?"
"Yeah. Chopper gave me a wedgie."
"I got a baker's dozen of hertz doughnuts."
"We all just have to stand up and demand respect. Together." Tina says as someone cheers.
"Yeah!"
A bunch of students stand up and file out of the bleachers and they assemble themselves behind Lee. "You guys are pathetic. Isn't there anything you ever wanted to do with your lives, other than pick on people?"
Chopper, Stinky, and Emmett share a look. "Uh, no."
"I wanted to go to clown school!" Stinky says as he happily puts on his clown hat.
"Ah, shaddap, I told you there's no such thing!" He takes off Stinky's hat, throws it on the ground, and stomps on it. "We do this! Now! We'll take on all of you!"
Suddenly, the crowd is distracted by the Red Tazelwurm, as it knocks its captors away, breaks the handcuffs binding its claws together, and slithers towards the commotion. "RUN!"
The crowd deserts the football field and the fifteenth graders advance on the now-alone Lee. "Ah-haw-haw, too bad, looks like your friends are wimps too! Not like us. Nothing scares us."
Stinky taps Chopper on the shoulder. "Uh, Chopper? Uh, Chopper, seriously Chopper?!"
"What?!" Chopper looks as Stinky points to the Red Tazelwurm who is heading for the group at high speed. "Mommy! Ah-ha-ha!"
The bullies take off away from the angry creature. The Red Tazelwurm pauses, turns its head, and smiles at Lee. Lee returns the smile, and the Red Tazelwurm continues its chase. Lee also bolts towards the parking lot and manages to slip into the passenger seat just before his mom gets into the driver's seat. Mrs. Ping looks over and sees Lee panting. "If it was hot in here, you could have cracked a window."
Barrage's Office.
The principal and vice principal have agreed about the charter. "Well, General Principal Barrage, you've convinced me. The bylaw is a little vague."
Barrage nodded at that. "I knew you'd see the light, vice principal."
"Shame that it took so long to determine that. Looks like Mister Ping at least got a day off for nothing."
Vice Principal Victoria exits the office as the principal looks over to the clock on the wall, which reads 4:16. "You win this round, Ping. At least Uzumaki had to work."
Lee's Room 11:02 PM.
Lee is immersed in a video chat with Cam and Holger. "You went up against the toughest hombre ever man, and you survived! Cool!" Cam smiles as Holger nods.
"And, Lee gets backpack of mystery."
"Lights out!"
"Later dudes." He turns off the computer. "Guess Naruto was tired after helping VP Victoria." He says and picks up his bag. 'So I got my bag back. But who left it for me? The Tazelwurm? And why now? Why does everything have to be so confusing?' He sighs and drops the bag on his floor and walks to bed. "Just once, I'd like to go to bed, knowing...something."
The backpack opens and shows that something has been sewn into the lining at the top.
To Be Continued.
A/N: Thanks for reading and let me know of any mistakes.
Contributor: KuronoDono12.
To those who'll celebrate it, I hope you have a safe and Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or whatever you celebrate, and a safe and Happy New Year! (Especially if I update something you haven't read before then.)
REMEMBER TO VOTE IN THE NEW STAR WARS POLL! I'll skip updating the story for two rounds and then skip one round afterward as I only have five chapters left until the last episode to stretch the poll out.
Next to be updated will be Detentionaire on Monday or Tuesday.
Nothing else to say.
Talk To You Later,
Lone Wolf Out.🐺