After getting together, I stuck by Cloud's side like duct tape. I didn't want anything bad happening to him, ever. Although, today, after a few gracious weeks of calmness, I really felt like our luck would run out. I got wind of some riot someone was planning and I couldn't help but to be on edge about the whole thing. I couldn't decern who the target was, but I was hoping it on the guards and not on other inmates. It made me want to stick to Cloud even more so. I barely wanted to leave him alone to go to my therapy with Aerith… Ah, but he wasn't allowed to come with me.
We were in the shower room together, washing ourselves, I noticed a few guys staring at us. I tried my best to ignore them and think nothing of it, but I felt myself feeling a bit... paranoid. Not because someone else was looking at Cloud, I mean, that wasn't the main reason for my paranoia. I was mainly thinking about how they might be plotting against us…
I decided to put my focus on my boyfriend, as I needed a distraction to not think the worse. I stole glance after glance at my Cloud's naked, wet body. He was gorgeous… His skin glistened and his soaked hair looked so soft right now. The moment was ruined when I felt an uncomfortable sensation down my ass-crack. Hair…
"If I could learn the magical secret to never having my hair break or fall out ever again, I'd do whatever it took. I'm so sick of pulling hair from my crack," I spoke and Cloud laughed. He jokingly replied, "Oh, what a curse with your Rapunzel hair, Seph." I laughed with him. I decided to share, "I used to have really short hair. Hojo purposely wanted it that short, though." I poked my head, then added, "He drilled into my head more than once for experiments."
"That's awful… Thankfully, he never hurt your brain… Or, do you think he did?" Cloud asked and I just shrugged. I answered, "No clue and honestly, I'm not sure if I should worry about it. I found someone who loves me for me. Even if I got brain damage, right?" I asked, laughing. I knew it wasn't a normal subject to joke about, but what else was I supposed to do when I hated everything about my life back then? Besides my friends, of course. Cloud gave me a sad smile. But I insisted as I rinsed out the conditioner from my hair, "You can laugh. I made the awful joke and I know my life sucks." Cloud stated, "You have so much more confidence to stay that than I would."
"Had to find a way to live with it all somehow, right?" I mentioned, glancing to Cloud who was nodding. He answered honestly, "Yeah, I guess you did. I'd say everything you did in the past doesn't matter, but that's to say that we aren't here." I smirked. He had a point. I stopped the water and began ringing out of my hair and went to grab towels for both of us. I handed one to Cloud and he thanked me for it. I asked out of the blue as I began drying off, "Do you believe in reincarnation, Ephraim?"
"Hm? Where did that come from?" Cloud asked me and I shrugged. It was random, I know… "Just a thought. Maybe in another life we could live differently and not like this…"
"HEY! Fuckers! Hurry up and get dried, will you?!" one of the guards yelled and Cloud and I shared a glance before we hurried. Once we were back in our cell, I began braiding my hair.
"I think I do believe in it, by the way. Reincarnation, I mean," Cloud mentioned as he curled up next to me. Thankful he wanted to continue this conversation, I smiled and replied, "Yeah? Then I want my next life to be something completely different from this. I want to be free and find you again and have my friends safe, our parents safe… I just want it to be better than this." Cloud nodded as I put an arm around him. He answered, "I don't want to be trapped here forever…" I kissed the top of his head, telling him, "Neither do I, Cloud… Neither do I…" It was hard imaging a life of freedom, since I never experienced it before, but to run around in the grass when I wanted, to get dirty outside… It all seemed so much fun. Maybe I could be a farmer… I smirked and suggested that out loud; "Maybe I could be a farmer and you could be my husband who helps take care of our chocobos." Cloud laughed and replied, "It sounds perfect. In Nibelheim. I'd want to live in Nibelheim again."
"In Nibelheim. A large farm with chocobos in Nibelheim… That sounds perfect," I daydreamed. Cloud nodded, agreeing, "It does. It'll be perfect."
We cuddled for a bit, enjoying each other's company. We had our free block where we went outside this time to get some fresh air. We played a bit of tag with each other, even. It was fun and relaxing.
Lunch went by without problems, but I was panicking… I bounced my leg with the utmost of anxiety pulsing through me. Madd asked me, "Hey, Sephiroth, you okay?"
"We could tell something's been off with you today. Even during breakfast," Fifi mentioned. I sighed and remarked softly, "I heard news of some riot happening today and I don't know when or who it's directed at. I'm so scared to leave Ephraim alone for my appointment, but I have to…"
"Shit… right… I heard that, too. I thought it would be during a meal time. Maybe dinner?" Madd suggested and I just prayed… I could protect him, then. I tried to take a deep breath, but one of the guards came to get me, insisting, "Up and out, 15231." I hesitated, but I was smacked in the head for doing so.
"I SAID MOVE IT!" the guard shouted in my ear.
"Yes, sir!" I yelled and I moved. But I called back to Cloud, "Don't let yourself get hurt, Ephraim!"
"I won't!" Cloud called back to me, but that didn't stop my nerves… Soon, I was brought to Aerith's office and we shared a greeting. She questioned, "You seem nervous today, Sephiroth."
"I am… yeah… I heard of some riot happening and I'm terrified for my boyfriend…" I admitted. Aerith frowned, but she told me, "Hopefully he'll be safe in his cell, yes?" I took a deep breath and replied, "That's all I can hope for… Um, hey… I asked my boyfriend this earlier, but I wanted to ask you, too. Do you believe in reincarnation?"
"Yes. I do. I know a lot about planetology and the workings of the lifestream. It's something that can be proven with ears and minds willing to listen. Why?" Aerith answered and I had to smile. I mentioned, "I just… I've been having dreams at night of such a better life and I want that so much. I'm so sick of just… this. I've been here for months now and I'm just tired… Tired and sad." Aerith replied, "I know, Sephiroth. This prison life isn't something picturesque. But that doesn't mean you should try to kill yourself either. It's hard, but I'm here for you. As is Zack and your boyfriend." I smiled hearing that.
"As long as he's alive, I have to live to be near him," I insisted. "But, what do you know about reincarnation. I'm curious." Aerith took a moment before answering, "The lifestream is, of course, the souls of the planet. Those who have passed on. It's the energy that Gaia exists from. When a soul is ready to be given new life, it departs from the lifestream. So, it's everyone and everything that does that. Animals, humans, the plants. Even the foliage has lifestream energy, after all. It's all one, massive circle of life." I couldn't help but comment, "That almost makes death feel less scary."
"Mm. Indeed. To know you one day can return and start over? I agree. But ghosts exist on Gaia as well. There are ghosts here, in this prison," Aerith mentioned and I tilted my head. I questioned, "How do ghosts come about when everyone and everything returns to the planet?" Aerith replied, seeming to be looking next to me instead of at me, which she did sometimes, "Sometimes it's because the deceased isn't done telling their story, or there are people in their lives they need to connect with still. Moments they need to live through, yet. There's much conjecture and not many facts about the lives of ghosts, but those are my theories, anyway."
"It all feels helpful," I replied to her and she answered, "I'm glad, Sephiroth. I hoped I've answered your questions well enough." I nodded, telling her, "Yeah. You have. Thank you. Perhaps, though, you could answer me one other question that's burning in my head."
"I can try. What is it?" Aerith prompted. I pointed to both sides of me, asking, "Why do you sometimes look to either side of me?" If she had trouble with eye contact, it was fine. I was just confused. Aerith took a deep breath, then answered, "You have had guardians near you. Ghosts, I mean, who are rather protective of you. I don't feel comfortable describing them, but if you allow yourself to feel their energy, I'm sure you'll guess for yourself, Sephiroth." I blinked, surprised to hear such a thing. Ghosts watched over me?
"Are they always there?" I questioned and she nodded, informing, "Yes. They step into this room with you whenever you enter, so I'm assuming they're always keeping an eye on you." She seemed reluctant to tell me who they were, but I had ghost guardians? That was… kind of cool, I guess. I told her, "I appreciate knowing that, Aerith."
"My pleasure," she answered, with a bob of her head.
We talked for the rest of my session and for the first time, I was excited to leave. I needed to go make sure Cloud was alright.
Thankfully, he was sitting in our cell, just waiting for me. I hugged him when I had the chance. I mentioned softly, "Thank fuck you're alright… I was so stupidly worried…"
"I understand, Sephiroth," he replied and kept a hold of me. I let go, telling him as I laughed a bit, "I can finally pee now. I'm not dying of anxiety." Cloud laughed and let me relieve myself. After I washed my hands, I hugged Cloud and hummed, only to drag him down on the bed with me. He laughed as he now laid on top of me. We kissed as I kept my arms wrapped behind his back.
"I love you, Cloud," I told him and Cloud told me back, "I love you, Sephiroth." I grinned happily. Cloud was safe and I could keep him safe if the riot happened during dinner now.
We made it to dinner time, and I kept my eye open for anything suspicious and I'm glad I did. There was a large group of inmates, leaning in and chatting. I made it known to my small little group of what was going to happen, or I was about to before someone came up to us.
"Hey… Sephiroth was it, right? I'm Danny. Can me an my bud Tanner sit with you?" asked someone and I noticed these two inmates seemed to be of smaller stature, just like the rest of my friends. I smiled and nodded; "Of course, you can. Especially right now."
"That's why. We know it's safe by you," Tanner mentioned and I smiled, happy to have the reputation that I did. We did introductions and I insisted, "You can sit with us from now on, I promise."
"Thanks, yo. Really. We've noticed you guys for a while, but didn't interreact because, like, well? You're an intimidating dude, but it's been going around more and more that you're protective of other inmates," Danny mentioned. I was so glad that's what was being said about me. Just as I was about to open my mouth, yelling was heard from that large group and they made a combined effort to flip the literal table over! My friends huddled up to me, gasping and I was quick to stand and put them behind me. Punches, throws, and screaming was all breaking out. Guards were rushing to the scene, but I was just here for my friends and boyfriend. As I was getting out of the fray, I got pushed and my hands out went out as wanted to create a wider girth for my friends to hide behind me, but suddenly I was accused of banter.
"HEY! You punched me!" the inmate yelled and I stared at him with eyes that asked really? I insisted, "I did fucking not. If I wanted to punch you, it would be like this!" Before the man took a swing at me, I decked the guy so hard in the face, he fell to the floor. It was a bad move because now I was a target, but something told me, that was the plan from beginning. I knew this had to do with me. That one bitch was so close to me, of course my hands brushed against him.
I was kicking and punching people now and when guards came to break everyone up, it was claimed by, like, ten different people that I was the one who started it! I bitched as I was handcuffed, "Clearly, I was fucking not! Those fuckers who flipped the fucking table were the ones who started that! I had nothing to do with that!"
"Fucking prove it!" I was asked and I told him, "I was protecting my friends!"
"Pussy! Pussy bitch! You're a liar and a pussy!" I was yelled at.
"I'll kick you right in the pussy!" I yelled and I tried to, but the guard then punched me in the back, causing the wind to be knocked out of me. I gasped for air as I began crying from the impact.
"Ten of you are getting solitary and you're not excluded, 15213! This isn't the first fucking time you've been a problem, anyway." the guard yelled and I panicked. I screamed, "NO! DON'T LET MY BOYFRIEND GET HURT! NO! I CAN'T GO! NO! NOOOOO!" I was tased and it silenced me, but not for long. I was screaming for my boyfriend to not get hurt! I couldn't live with myself if he got hurt! I tried to bite and scratch, but that me tased over and over again until the guards had enough of me and gave me some kind of a tranquilizer…