CHAPTER TWO

Within these walls, I kept to myself. I didn't even want to socialize with these ugly fucks when I got the chances to. Being here a nearly a month was honestly dreadful. I wanted some kind of entertainment besides stepping outside for our free times. At the moment, I was in the library looking at the reading selection. There were a few interesting things here, I guessed. Most inmates didn't spend their time here, but I thought that was a good thing. I could alone while not in my cell.

"Whatcha like to read… mmm? 15231?" the staff member asked me and I sighed with irritation. I replied with a roll of my eyes, "I don't know… fiction?" One book came to mind and I was positive it would bring me to tears if I ever saw it. This black haired, bouncy librarian commented, "There's some fiction stuff over here. I'll show you." With a raised brow, I followed this… human puppy. That's what he reminded me of anyways. He also… kind of looked like Angeal when he was younger. I held myself together.

"What is someone like you doing working in a prison?" I had to ask. The man laughed a little. He replied, "Weird, right? Heh… My fiance works as a psychologist here to help get people through their feelings and thoughts and, I think, to try and rehabilitate them. I decided to pick up something that wasn't guard work. I could, but I'm too soft personality wise for that." He pointed to the fiction books.

"Here's all we have. These two walls," he informed me. I had listened to his words and I sighed a bit. I mentioned, "I think I'd like to schedule an appointment with your fiance then. I feel the burning need to tell people why I'm even here." The puppy blinked and decided to ask, "Why are you here, then? If you need to talk so badly, I'm willing to listen." This man was strange, but it was also a breath of fresh air. Everyone else was straggly and too tough looking for my tastes.

"Two well-known scientists murdered my two best friends in the whole word and I lost it. They had been abusing us for years, but my friends ended up dying when they were injected with something, I don't even know what it was. Sometime after that, once I realized Angeal and Genesis were just thrown into an incinerator after their 'accident', I took my sword I was gifted for being a general in the Shinra army and slaughtered Professors Hollander and Hojo. Along so many others who didn't stop my friends from dying. I think I killed about fifteen people in less than ten minutes… It's a blur… I was so furious, but they all deserved it," I explained and it didn't surprise me that this man was a few steps further from me. He eventually replied, "Wow… um… That's terrifying that you snapped like that." I huffed out a laugh. I told him, "Yeah… I didn't think I ever would, but here we are…"

"The scariest part is that you seem proud," the librarian stated and I couldn't deny that, I knew I was. I answered as I looked through the book section, "I am. They can't harm anyone else or kill anyone else. That's why I had to do it. To get justice for my friends." The other man was silent for some time before he reached his hand out to me and introduced, "I'm Zack and you know, at least there's that. I don't think I could ever do that, but in its own fucked up way, that's brave of you." I stared at his hand, then at him and laughed.

"You have some bravery in you for shaking the hand of a mass murderer," I replied. I took his hand and introduced myself, "My name is Sephiroth. Not 15231."

"I think I'd sue my parents if they named me a number," Zack laughed out and I shared in his laughter. I took my hand back and told him, "I might have to come back here, just for you. I like you." Zack smiled, commenting, "I guess that means I'm safe from your wrath." I snorted and finger gunned him.

"Got that right." I smiled once more at him before looking along the bookshelves when I spotted it… I didn't want to find this… I got to my knees and grabbed the book as tears fell down my face.

"Whoa! You okay, Sephiroth?" I heard Zack ask me, but I didn't have the mind to answer him. I screamed out a cry and held the book to my chest… I didn't want to find the Loveless book here, but at the same time… I was looking for it. Loveless, Loveless, Loveless! All Genesis ever talked about or ever read all because it was the only memory he had of his parents… Now it was my memory of Genesis that I could touch even here and it made me so fucking sad.

I felt Zack rubbing my back and I was thankful for his care. I eventually was able to calm down enough to explain my explosion of emotion; "This was Genesis' favorite book. He knew it cover to cover, but would still read it when he could. We knew it, too… I just… I hadn't wanted to find it and yet…"

"What's the ruckus in here? You! 15231! Get your ass away from him!" some guard shouted and violently pulled me up. Zack backed me up, correcting, "Hey! I didn't scream! I'm fine. He didn't do anything to me."

"Let go of this damn book!" the other guard shouted and nearly ripped the book in my arms.

"DON'T RIP IT!" I screamed and despite my emotional state I handed the book off to Zack. He told the guards, "Handle books more carefully. Sometimes they're precious to people."

"Tsk. Sorry. He's been out for too long. Come on!" a guard shouted right in my ear as I was yanked. Zack… he was a good man. I hoped nothing bad ever happened to him. God, I'd be fucking pissed. Probably enough to harm someone again…

I was shoved back into my cell where I finally got myself calmed down from my outburst. I curled up on my bed, so happy I found that book. I spoke out loud, "You see, Genesis? I could never forget your favorite book. I'm so happy I found that… I know Zack will keep it safe for me… for all of us." I looked at the photo once more and smiled a little.

A few boring hours passed, and I got called out for dinner. A guard let me out of my cell and somehow, the meals were better here than what I was given at Shinra. That disgusted me, quite frankly.

Sitting down as I got my food; I was about to put a forkful into my mouth when someone of smaller stature was getting picked on nearly right next to me. I called out, "Hey, leave him be. He's just trying to eat." As I wanted, the attention was directed at me.

"What are you gonna do, pretty boy?"

"I bet you're a damn twink!" I got laughed at and I just rolled my eyes.

"At least, I'm not out here trying to show off how big my dick is," I commented, and then ate some.

"What's that, Faggot? You wanna say that again?" one of the bullies asked me and I rolled my eyes again. I rephrased, "I said, I got a dick so big, even men are impressed. Now get out of my face before I vomit rainbows on you. I might infect you with the gay." My head got punched and I just let them walk off. Assholes… I continued my meal as peacefully as I could in this environment. The smaller man who was being bullied scooted closer to me suddenly.

"Thanks, for that, sir," he thanked. I gave him a small smile. I replied, "It's no biggy. People can think whatever they want about me. I don't give a shit. I just don't like bullies. All of them have no confidence and are dumb as fuck." The man smiled at me, insisting, "You got that right." We ended up chatting during our meal, which was nice. It was nothing special, just some small talk. I told him I was in for murder; he was in for burglary. As I spoke, it saddened me that this would be my legacy from now on. Lazard was right, I threw away my hero status forever. Only after a few weeks of being here did it begin to hurt… I kept those thoughts to myself.

As the dinner bell tolled, telling us to get back to our cells, I got up obediently and was brought back to my cell. While there, I decided to write in a journal I was allowed to keep. I had written in it before, but I kept a plan of what I wanted to do in one section. It gave me something to look forward to. Like, I wanted to go back to the library tomorrow to find Zack and ask him more about his fiance. I really did want to meet with her to tell more people my side of the story, how Shinra really was. Maybe with some effort, I could get the company shut down. Tsk… wouldn't that be nice? I could dream, I guess…

In my free time block the next day, I headed back down to the library in search of Zack and I found him in a protective glass cubical. I smiled and waved and Zack joyfully smiled in return. He put his finger up, telling me to wait and I did. He soon emerged with the Loveless book in hand.

"Sephiroth. I saved it. I'll keep it with me, so if you ever want to read it or admire it, you can. I'd hate to have anyone damage this book," Zack told me which really made my heart swell. I told him, "You're a sweetheart, Zack. Thank you. That means the world to me that you'd do that. But I didn't come here for the book. I came here for you, actually." Zack jokingly replied, "Oh, no. How'd I get on your shit list?"

"By not being available to kiss," I replied back with laughter in my voice. I poked his cheek as he laughed. He asked me, "Naw! You mean it? I'm not sure I'm into your kinda bad boy, though." I laughed harder, feeling like I was having fun for once while here.

"But seriously, what's up?" Zack asked me as he calmed down. I leaned against a bookshelf and asked, "What's your fiance's name? I'm going to get myself an appointment to meet with her. I think that could be eye opening." Zack smiled and answered, taking something out of his pocket, "Aerith Gainsborough is her name. Here's her card. I always carry them. I like getting her more clients, as she really just likes trying to help people. You think I'm a sweetheart? Well, she really is. Sassy, but sweet. I think that's why she can do what she does so well. She's a tough cookie, but a sugar cookie all the same." I smiled at the analogy.

"Mmm… I miss sweets. No one said I was going to death row, but damn, if I did, I'd want to die fat and happy being full of cake and cookies and ice cream… and fudge. I love sweets so much," I replied, gushing a bit. Zack grinned, commenting, "Really? I mean, that's awesome. Haha! I didn't except that out of you. But I suppose not all prisoners are like one another." I shook my head, telling him, "Fuck no. And I'm nothing like these jerks here. No. I'm just a gay man who got fucked with one too many times and I snapped. I was a war hero at one point, though."

"No shit? Damn. I guess you have a higher death record than just those scientists you killed, huh?" Zack mentioned and I guess he was right. I did… I pointed out, "And here lies the truth that body counts in war make a hero and body counts in a 'supposed to be civil setting' makes a crazed murderer. I never made the connection until now." Zack shrugged a bit, remarking, I just thought of that, too. Crazy how different that can be turn out to be when it's looked at through that angle." Yeah…

"You've given me some insight, Zack. Thanks. But, before my free time is up and I'm caught 'harassing' you again, I'm gonna go see if I can meet up with your woman," I mentioned, standing straight again. Zack smirked and nodded. He told me, "Tell her who sent you. She'll love that." I grinned and insisted, "I will, Zack. Take care and thanks again for keeping that book safe. Tell whoever takes over your job to do the same. I'll haunt them if they don't." We shared a laugh again before I went to find someone. A guard was roaming the halls outside the library and I mentioned, "Sir. I'd like to make an appointment with someone." He glared at me and rolled his eyes.

"Follow me to the desk downstairs to do that," he firmly replied and I made no moves to be disobedient. I just wanted to this to go normally.

Making it down to the appointment desk, the brutal looking woman asked me, "What can I do ya for, 15231?" I handed her Aerith's card and informed, "I'd like to make an appointment to speak with this woman. Please." She glared at me and began typing on her computer.

"She's free in fifteen minutes. That'll give ya time to be clasped up for her safety," she stated and God did I want to make a remark, but I kept my mouth shut. I bowed my head, replying, "Of course. Thanks. That works for me." My ankles and wrists were secured in heavy, weighted cuffs that were chained together. I sat with a guard and waited for my turn. Fifteen minutes was better than fifteen hours, so it was fine.

The guard next to me seemed to get some kind of a page on his phone and I hoisted up to my feet and led into a small room that only held a chair and a desk. I was locked into the room and on the other side of a glass wall was a dainty looking woman with a warm smile. She had chestnut brown hair and vibrant green eyes, those of spring leaves. I sat down to take some of the weight off from my shackles. She greeted, "Hello. What's your name? They've given me your number, but I prefer knowing the names of who I'm talking to. Though, if you rather not, that's fine."

"Right. It's Sephiroth. I don't use my last name because it disgusts me," I informed and Aerith nodded. She told me, "That's fine. I just want something else to call you besides 15231. You could've even told me to call you Cupcake if you'd like." I smiled at her words. She was like Zack. I replied happily, "I thank you for the consideration, Aerith."

"So? What did you wanna talk to me about? I've never met with you before, Sephiroth," Aerith prompted.

"Right. So, I heard about you from your fiance. It's appealing to me to tell as many people as I can about the horrors of the Shinra Electric Power Company," I began by saying and she looked incredibly understanding, almost sad. She informed, "We might have something in common, Sephiroth. I escaped from there, but alone. They're responsible for the death of my mother." My eyes widened hearing that. I never believed I'd connect with someone who had history with these bastards. At least, not people I didn't know. I replied sadly, "I'm terribly sorry to hear that, Aerith. I… I'm surprised you didn't snap like I did…"

"How did you release your emotions?" Aerith asked me softly and I held up my wrists, showing off my heavy shackles even more clearly before answering with words, "Very violently. I watched them kill my friends and I devised a plan to kill Professors Hollander and Hojo, then the scientists who stood around and watched my friends die. It honestly feels relieving knowing they can't hurt anyone anymore. I know what I did was wrong, but there's a sense of pride in me, too." She questioned, "It feels like justice was served in your eyes?"

"Very much so. I know killing people is still killing people, especially with how violently I murdered them all, but it was definitely releasing the emotions I felt towards them for killing my friends," I explained. Aerith nodded, and questioned, "Did that act make you feel heroic? Knowing you saved others from having run-ins with them?" I sat back and smirked. "You're asking some pretty philosophical questions, huh? Hm… I guess it makes me feel… maybe not heroic. I was forced to serve in the Shinra army, so you could say I fell from grace being where I am right now, but the act of killing people doesn't make me feel heroic. It makes me feel powerful? But that's not a goal I have in life. I don't care about feeling heroic or powerful. I care about feeling loved, but as if I could ever get that now."

"You seem to have a pretty good grasp on yourself and why you did what you did. That's more than some people I've spoken to here," Aerith replied. I could only imagine. She then remarked, "I can tell you don't regret it and that's a scary thought. But I also don't believe you'd go on some killing streak just for the Hell of it. But? I also don't believe this would be a onetime event for you. Unfortunately. Do you think it would be?"

"To go on some killing spree? I'm not sure… I didn't think I was capable of doing it even, then I did and… I feel like now, if someone was being bullied or picked on, I'd be the first to stand up. I don't, honestly, know how far that would take me…" I admitted. It was kind of scary for me to think about, actually. One event, and I turned into some horrible killer… I didn't think this was me. I added, "I never would've imagined this was me."

"I understand. It was like a switch flipped within. Is that how it feels?" Aerith asked and I nodded. She remarked, and informed me, "There's a lot of bad people in this world, Sephiroth. Ones with intent to do harm to those who did nothing wrong. You shouldn't feel it's your responsibility to rescue the ones being bullied, though. Call the police, call law enforcement so that those doing the harm can be locked up and serve their time."

"What if I try that and it doesn't help the situation?" I asked curiously and Aerith gave me a sad smile, but encouraged, "Keep trying. It's hard when you know you're strong enough to do something instead of just to call for backup. But because you took a situation into your hands is why you're here now. How long are you serving?" I sighed and replied, "Two lifetimes. I'm stuck till the end of my days. They didn't even give me a chance to have parole. I can't even imagine how high my bail would be if someone wanted to let me out. Frankly, I think it's best I stay. I don't know how to live a life where I'm not locked up. That's all I was back in Shinra, too."

"I'm sure that was difficult, Sephiroth. There are rehabilitation options, but it seems you're oddly content here. Am I right in assuming that?" Aerith posed and I nodded.

"Sadly… I think so…" I sighed a bit, as I didn't want to be the truth, but it seemed so. I wasn't sure what life was like outside of Shinra or the military. I was sure that life was… scary in its own right. But not as scary as the horrors I faced. I ended up smiling at Aerith and requesting, "Can I be a regular patient of yours? I think talking with you would be insightful."

"Of course, Sephiroth. I'm here for all of the patients here who'd like to talk and that includes you," she replied happily. We set a time for us to meet so it would give a little more freedom from my cell. I'd get to eat lunch and then I'd have an hour to sit and talk with Aerith. I was thankful for allowing me such time with her.

Aerith paged for them to open the door for me and I waved to her as I stood from my seat. This was nice. I enjoyed this time to speak with such a lovely woman.