CHAPTER THREE
Another boring mealtime had begun and I was just quietly eating my meal when someone asked me, "Hey. Can I sit with you? Madd said you protected him once from some jerks and I've had these four guys harassing me all day." I blinked. Word got around that quickly. Though, I shrugged. I remembered Madd. He was the first person I stood up for in this Hellhole.
"Sure. I'll protect you from some bullies. I don't care," I replied. The other inmate seemed generally thankful for letting me sit with him. It was then that I saw the inmate I previously protected come sit near me, too.
"Hey, Sephiroth. That's Fifi. He's been a good friend of mine for some time. I told him to stick around you, if he needed to," Madd informed me. I rose a brow confusedly, but in the end, I just smiled. I informed, "I don't mind playing guard. I talk back, that's why bullies don't like me."
"I'm in for same as him, robbery. I don't have very much time left and I think that's why my bullying's getting bad. How long you got?" asked Fifi and I informed with a smirk, "Till my afterlife. I killed a lot of people out of a fit of rage."
"Tsk. Right. Right. Faggot Daddy is a murderer. That should make you more scared sitting next to him," teased one of the guys from before and I sighed. Of course. I glanced at them as they sat directly next to me.
"Hey, hey. Faggot Daddy. I got a friend who's also gay. He wants a pretty boy like to you to give him a good fucking," one of them told me before all of them started laughing.
"Sorry. I have a type. I either have to know them for a long time or they have to be more of a twink than me," I remarked and got laughed at. I added, "No buzzed headed freaks like yourselves would never make me get hard,"
"Oh, so you like FagFag over there?" one of the bullies pointed at Fifi and I raised my voice, "Leave him out of this! Bully someone your own God damn size."
"But it's so much more fun to tease the ones that'll react and go cry to someone," they said. "Wah! Wah! Wah! Cry baby! Cry baby!" I had enough and punched the guy talking straight in the face.
"I said PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE!" I was suddenly seized and handcuffed. I bitched to the guard, "I was defending someone! Fuck off! If you're gonna cuff me, do it to them!"
"Shut the fuck up! You punched someone! Meal time's over!" the guard bitched. I bitched back, "They're getting verbally abused! I can't stand up for someone now?!" I got tased for talking back and mouthing off, but I continued being rowdy and calling these guards out for their lack of judgment, but that only got me put into solitary confinement… for a whole week. My pants and underwear were pulled down to my ankles and I was strapped to a chair with a bucket in the middle of the seat. My shoes were taken off from me as well, so my feet hung on the cold, filthy floor. I bitched up a storm for two hours until my throat was raw… This would be a long seven days…
I eventually realized this meant no meals, no water, and no shower… At least I wouldn't be shitting my pants, but I couldn't clean myself and I couldn't reposition myself to aim, so I was pissing myself. I felt so disgusting. My stomach began to hurt after so much time passed. All I could think about were the things I wanted to eat and drink which made me even more hungry and dehydrated. Ugh…! My hair was tied up, so I couldn't even play with my fucking hair to help pass the time… There was no sense of how long I had been in here. I would just fall in and out of consciousness over and over again. I would talk to myself, but my throat was so raw, that it hurt to talk out loud. Ugh… This fucking sucked… And all for standing up for someone who was smaller than me. Fuck this place. Fuck these guards who don't even know what side to be on. It gave me some thoughts about these guards, but I didn't need to end up on death row… Not yet, anyways. I haven't even been here that long.
When I was finally released, I immediately went to take a shower and then I got water which I asked for an entire jug of. They gave me my request and I happily drank and drank and drank. I was so fucking thirsty.
I was peeing most of the day, but that was a minor inconvenience. And when I could finally eat again, I was fucking starving. I was granted more food, thankfully as I could get some calories back that way. I looked around for a good place to sit and noticed someone who'd be a clear target for bullying. He was young and blonde and looked on the verge of tears. He was… really cute, too… I walked up, asking, "Hey. Can I sit with you? You okay?"
"Why would I be okay? How could anyone be okay here?" the blonde cried out and I felt for him. I rubbed his back, informing, "This place is gonna be your worst nightmare if you don't take a breath. I'll protect you where I can and when I can." The blonde sniffles and started eating. So did I. I asked the cute blonde, "What's your name?" He looked at me and he, sadly, pointed to the number on his shirt.
"When guards ask or people that don't give a fuck ask, they want your number. Me? I want your actual name. I want to know something personal about you," I explained and the blonde glanced off before answering, "I only did it because I was so upset… These hunters shot my mum… so I attacked and killed them…" Someone seeking justice, just like me…! I told him, "Me too! I murdered people out of getting justice, too!"
"Don't seem proud of that! Besides, I know you… I looked up to you until what you did was all over the news. Leave me alone. You're just as scary as everyone else here," the blonde told me as he began getting up, but I begged, "No wait! Please sit! They'll eat you alive. Can I, at least, have your name?" I requested, but he refused and hissed, "Leave me alone! I just want to be alone!" This had to be the guy's first day and he was not handling it well… God, he was going to be treated like shit… I wanted to help him so badly… But he got up and moved away from me… I watched where he moved and I couldn't help but to keep throwing him glances. He really was cute… his spikey hair resembled chocobo feathers which was positively adorable. His eyes were as blue as the ocean. He was so young, too. He had to only be eighteen, old enough to get thrown in prison and not juvey. I wonder how many people he killed. He said hunters… So, they were hunting animals?! And fucking shot a person? I'd be pissed off too, especially if it was my mother. I really can't blame Blondie for that… poor guy…
I focused a bit more on my food while still watching over Blondie. As I was taking a spoonful of food, the two guys that hung around me for protection came around and it was Fifi to greet, "You're out of seclusion already? Damn."
"Only a week is impressive," Madd mentioned with a smile. I smiled back. I commented, "Yeah. A week isn't bad. Ugh, I was glad to be allowed a shower for a really intensive cleanse. Can you believe it? That means pissing and shitting yourself while in seclusion. I felt so disgusting and smelled that way. I mean, I shat into a bucket, but I couldn't grab my dick to reposition it, so I did piss on myself."
"You don't deserve that," Fifi mentioned and I just shrugged, telling them, "Guards thought I did. Ah, fuck… I missed my appointments with Aerith… Damn it…" Madd tilted his head, asking, "Appointments with Aerith? That really pretty psych?"
"Yup. I met her thanks to her fiance. He works in the library," I mentioned around bites of food. Madd smiled and questioned, "When are your usual meetings?" I remembered, "It was supposed to be after lunch each day except for on Monday and Tuesday. I'd get to talk for an hour. What the fuck day is it?"
"Tuesday, man," Fifi replied and I groaned. I hissed a bit, "Fucking shit… I hope that means I can start tomorrow. I should go to the library in my morning free time tomorrow just to make sure…" I grumbled. "Stupid that I missed a whole fucking week of appointments I could've really used. UGH!" A guard walked past me and shouted, "Quiet your ass down! Unless you like being in solitary."
"No, sir. I'll calm down," I insisted, not wanting to create yet another incident so immediately after I just got out of a punishment. He walked off and I sighed. That guard in particular was a thorn in my side. He didn't like me at all… He seemed to side with the fucking bullies in this prison which gave me a sour taste in my mouth. At least, that was my impression. He was the first one to cuff me last week and he detained me in the library when I realized this library had Loveless.
"Hey, Sephiroth. Have you spoken to that blonde guy over there? He arrived yesterday and has been completely distant from everyone. I'm worried for him," Fifi mentioned, gesturing with his head towards that cute blonde. I nodded, informing, "I tried to, but he's not taking this life very easy. I don't blame him, but it does worry me. That's exactly who that main group of fuckers target. The ones who look weak. Besides that, he's really cute."
"You're totally gay crushing on him, Sephiroth," Madd teased and I laughed; "I am indeed gay crushing. I want to keep talking to him, or trying to. He heard what I did on the news and is rightfully scared of me." I sighed heavily. I wished that wasn't the case, but oh, well. I wanted to keep trying. He'd need my protection one day, I knew it.
"Invite him where you go during break. It might be a start," Fifi suggested and it wasn't a bad idea. I definitely could do that. I mentioned, "I go to the library often enough. I wonder what he likes reading."
"You're hoping for gay smut or at least some gay romance," Madd teased. I laughed before shrugging. I finger gunned him, saying, "It isn't quite a bad wish. Right? I mean, I want him to be gay. He said he used to admire me… I wonder how far that admiration went."
"What did you become famous for, anyways?" Fifi asked and I informed, "I was a general in the Shinra military and got famous for that. Fucked up how killing people as a military man gets you famous, but do it in an unorthodox way, and you get two life sentences in prison. Not to mention, somewhere so damn far away."
"Well, this penitentiary ain't no joke. Fights break out daily, guards will have our heads for being out of line. I mean, shit, look at you, Sephiroth," Madd commented, gesturing to me. I sighed.
"Got that fucking right…" I replied as I stole another glance at Blondie. I wondered what his lips felt like… I wondered how soft his hair was, too… I wanted to find out one day. I hoped he'd let me.
Mealtime ended and I felt good and stuffed. As my cell block was rounded up to go back, I noticed Blondie was among my block. I couldn't help but be kinda happy about that.
"What do you know? Good things do come to those who wait," I mentioned with a smirk. Blondie scowled at me and looked to the floor. He asked, "What good things?" I smiled at him and remarked, "You're in my cell block. That's good news to me. I have to find happiness where I can." Blondie sighed and didn't say anything back. A guard suddenly came up to me and announced, "Congrats, Sephiroth. You finally have a friend in your cell." That's a bad choice. I didn't like anyone in this group besides Blondie. I replied, trying not to be snarky, "Who will be joining me?"
"You seem chummy enough with him already. 06319 will be your new lifetime roommate. Unless you beat the fuck out of him," the guard informed and my heart raced… Blondie looked scared out of his wits, terrified to have to be that close to me from now on and during most of our time. For me… I felt relief. I could get to know him and show him I wasn't a terrible person. I just did something terrible. I could also learn his name which was very important to me. I gave an affirmative nod and it was then that we led back to our cells. When both Blondie and me were locked in, he quickly climbed to the top bunk and curled himself into the fetal position. I felt so awful for him, especially when he began to cry. I promised him as I learned on the bars to the top bunk, "I really don't want to hurt you. To be fair, I'm still learning my way around here, but I'm just content being here, I guess. I did what I felt was right in the moment." He was silent for a long while before he wiped his nose, mumbling, "Cloud…"
"Hm? Cloud?" I asked confusedly. He verified before I could ask anything more, "That's my name…" Oh… no… I felt even worse for him. I mentioned, "That's a name that'll get you beat to Hell and back here… I'll keep your name a secret, I promise." He gave a slow nod before posing, "Why are you being nice to me?" I answered honestly, "Because I stick up for those who are smaller and who are easier targets for bullies. I don't give a fuck what people think of me. I got put in prison for getting revenge for my friends who died, now I'm here, and I still don't think it's right for people to be picked on." Again, Cloud went silent for a moment. He seemed to be caught up in his own mind, which I didn't blame him for.
"From your point of view, why did you kill all of those people?" Cloud asked and I figured he would. I requested, "Can I sit next to you and tell you there instead of standing here?" Cloud scooted over and I sat down on the top bunk with him. I took a sigh before answering, "It was revenge. My two best friends in the whole world lived with me in a laboratory cell. We shared a bed, shower time, clothes sometimes, hair brushes, everything. We were each other's personal space. There was never a safe time for us to even ask if we wanted to all be boyfriends, but I feel like I could say pretty confidentially that we were. For their sakes, I just say they were best friends, but they might have well been my boyfriends.
"They were sent in for experimenting before me one day, but I was being contained in the room. I watched as my friends lost their lives due to something they were injected with and I was so furious. I was even more pissed when I learned their bodies were burned with no proper burial to their names. All I could think about was doing harm, so I did. I took my sword and slaughtered the two main scientists in charge of the operation, then all of the nurses who didn't do a damn thing to save my friends. I made a bloody mess of the lab and was charged with manslaughter on the first degree which I pled guilty for. Now I'm serving two lives in here," I explained to Cloud. He took time to process that information.
"I see… I was out with my mum in the mountains. We were picking berries for some jam and pie my mum wanted to make. I stepped away from her and all of a sudden, I hear a gunshot and I turned and screamed when I saw my mother fall. Five hunters come out and try to apologize to me, but what apology can you even accept when someone shots you mother? I snapped and killed all five of them. Three with the knife I carried for protection of wild animals and I took one of the guns from them and shot two of them who were trying to get away. I turned myself into the police, confessing to what I did… Sobbing, but I did confess… I'm serving life now," Cloud explained. I wrapped an arm around him to hold him close to me. Much to my surprise, and own personal comfort, Cloud didn't move away from me.
"Two poor souls who snapped after witnessing the death of a loved one…. I can understand where you come from, Cloud. I would've snapped if someone would've done that to my one of my parents. I think family is really important. I just never knew my real family and I never will. Fucking Hojo probably killed them…" I rolled my eyes, but much to my surprise, Cloud scooted himself closer to me and cuddled me a little, even!
"I used to think it was cool that you were a war hero… but… the more I think about, that just adds more people to the list of how many you've killed…" Cloud mentioned and I gave a slow nod. I rubbed Cloud's side as I mentioned, "Killing people isn't what I'd call 'a good time'. It's just something I've done and have in me to do. I wish I didn't have this in me, honestly. I'd be content doing anything else besides killing people. I mean, I like reading. I could be a librarian. Or an office worker? Something lazy because I am inherently a very lazy person." Cloud smiled at me, questioning, "Really? Someone as strong as you are is lazy?"
"I mean, I like exercising, I guess. But if I had to choose between making time to exercise or making time to sit on my ass? I'd make time to sit on my ass," I replied which made Cloud lightly laugh. I smiled back at him. I commented, "You seem to be doing a little better." He nodded, but insisted, "Just please stick around me. I can't do this on my own… You're my only comfort, Sephiroth." I nodded and insisted, "I'll stick around you. I'll always defend you, Cloud." It was a promise I was dead set on keeping. Cloud was so cute, that he'd be a target in no time.
It was moments after I made my promise that the lights in the prison all went out, making it incredibly eerie, especially outside the cell door. All that could be seen were the flashlights on the guards' chests as they hung around, patrolling.
"It's so scary now… even more so than before…" Cloud whimpered. I turned to him and offered in a whisper, "Would you like to sleep on me? I've been told I'm quite comfy." I heard Cloud huff out a laugh, then ask, "By who? Your friends?" I replied, "Yes. By them. Now, come. I don't like the top bunk. I'll help you down. I know it's dark." I got down from the bed first and then made sure Cloud didn't slip. I laid down on the bottom bed and got the thin covers out so I could cover us up. Cloud laid on top me, and I covered him.
"I'll be sleeping like a baby tonight. I'm used to sleeping with someone on me," I mentioned. Cloud didn't reply to that, but instead told me, "I… I do like boys… by the way." I felt my heart flutter as he told me that. I smirked and began playing with Cloud's hair, "Oh, do you? There's something else we have in common. I'm so gay, I might as well live on the rainbow." Blondie laughed into my chest. He relaxed his head soon enough and informed me, "I guess it's good we met." I hummed, then added, "It's amazing that we were able to get the same cell. I can find my own relief in this Hellhole now." I put on a strong face, but I was lonely and I still missed my friends dearly, but maybe having Cloud in my life would be a good thing. At some point, I'd want to make him my boyfriend… but I had no idea when to even do such a thing.
"Good night, Sephiroth," Cloud whispered to me as he nuzzled into my chest. I sent my hand comfortably on his back as I repeated, "Good night, Cloud." I let my eyes shut. I knew this would be the best night's sleep I've ever gotten here.
Morning hit by the sound of someone banging on our door and opening it.
"Up and out, fags. Unless you're having each other for breakfast," I heard the guard bitch and my eyes opened, remembering Cloud was sleeping on top of me. Right… Though, Cloud was quickly getting off of me as his face looked as red as a tomato. Cute. I waved off the guard's comment and replied, "Yeah, yeah. Let me pee." I used the toilet in our cell, washed my hands, and then asked Cloud, "Ready?" He nodded and we left the cell together. I was a little sore, but damn, I slept like a baby.
"I hope you slept well. I slept great," I remarked. Cloud was silent, and he still looked like he was blushing pretty hard. He eventually told me, "I slept better than my first night, yeah…" I smiled and replied, "Good to hear." I gave his back a few rubs before we got down to the mess hall. I informed as we got our food, "I've got some friends I sit with. The people I protect here. They're chill. They're the type that are just looking to get through their sentence without too much pain and suffering. Find something fun to do while in prison, stuff like that. I only know two people so far. I'm sure I'll attract more."
"With your personality, you will. You seem really scary at first, but you're there for the underdogs and I like that about you. I didn't even have many people who stood up for me in my hometown," Cloud admitted and my heart went out to him. I told him, "I wish I could've known you there. I would've stood up for you." Cloud smiled. He grabbed two sets of plastic cutleries, and handed one to me.
"Naw! Thanks. You're kind," I informed him as I took one of the sets. Cloud smiled, replying, "No problem. And, um… I wish you would've been there in Nibelheim. It's a beautiful place in the mountains. It was just a small area, but it was nice."
"I loved when I would get to go on missions into nature areas. The smell of the nature was great, seeing the wild animals. It was beautiful. I miss those days… After a while, though, we weren't going on missions at all," I informed with a shrug as we found a place to sit. Cloud told me, "You would've loved Nibelheim if that's the case." I nodded, believing that I would've loved the area. I answered, "Seeing the nature and getting a chance to meet a cute blonde? Yeah. I would've loved it there." Cloud blushed again, but I couldn't help my flirting. I really wanted to be with Cloud. I had all the chances in the world to prove I was a good person to him now that we shared a cell.
"I miss my mom's breakfasts. Really nice thick pancakes. fresh fruit, yummy bacon… I'll never have those again…" Cloud sadly stated. I touched my leg to his, commenting, "That sounds delicious. I loved trying new foods from around the world. I learned to love Wutain food. If I ever got onto death row somehow, I'd want my last meal to be desserts, though. Just fatten me up and let me die like that. I love sweets and candy and all that kind of stuff." Cloud smiled and questioned, "Really? I would've never have guessed. Desserts are nice. I really like milk. Warm milk with honey was something I liked a lot. Oh, hot chocolate is something I miss."
"Angeal, one of my friends, he loved peppermint hot chocolate. He'd happy drink, like, three cups," I informed Cloud and he smiled; "Yeah? Hm. What were your friends like?" How to describe them? I replied after a moment, "Angeal was calm and down to Earth. He liked taking photos for memories and he liked nature walks as well. Genesis was super sassy, but he was funny. He cared a lot about his appearance, but he could give some really great advice to people he thought deserved it." From my shirt, I pulled out the photo of all three of us. I pointed out my friends; "That's Angeal and that's Genesis. I keep this photo with me everywhere. It was the one thing I could take to prison with me."
"That's nice of your judge. I didn't even request anything. It hurt too much to look at photos of my mum, or else I would have a photo of her, but… I didn't even think to ask. Again, it just hurt too much and it still does," Cloud admitted. I told him, "It does hurt and it probably won't stop hurting for a long time. I'm here for you."
"Sephiroth! There you are. You'd think I'd be able to spot that silver hair of yours, but I couldn't. Oh, hey. You did talk to Sephiroth. I'm Madd," Madd introduced as he and Fifi sat with us.
"Mm. I get it. I'm invisible when I sit next to someone right away," I answered with a laugh. Cloud smirked, too. I leaned into my other friends and questioned, "So, we gotta come up with a nickname for him. His real name is just asking to have people name fun of him."
"Your number starts with zero. Zero isn't a bad nickname and there's much you can do with that," Fifi replied. Cloud mentioned, "I have too middle names. Ephraim and Niniam." I glanced at Cloud and I squealed a little, "Niniam? That's so cute! What do those mean? Or don't you know?"
"Ephraim means fruitful, fertile, and productive. Niniam means your little miracle," Cloud informed. Cloud was for damn sure his little miracle… Madd suggested, "Niniam seems a little feminine. Why don't we call you Ephraim?" Cloud nodded, thanking, "Thanks for caring enough to make sure I don't get made fun of just because of my name." I rubbed his back at that.
"Of course, Ephraim. We want you as safe as can be," Fifi replied with a smile.
So that was that, out in public, I called Cloud Ephraim and that's only how Madd and Fifi knew him. I was content with that. In fact, I almost preferred that I was the only one who knew him as Cloud.