I woke up and I had already soiled myself. I have no idea how long I had already been out for. Fuck… "FUUUUUUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! HE BETTER NOT BE GETTING HURT RIGHT NOW! YOU FUCKERS HAVE TEASED ME ENOUGH THAT YOU FUCKING KNOW I'M WITH MY CELLMATE!" I screamed and screamed and screamed until my voice my raw. I tried to hard to get out of my restraints, but I fucking couldn't. But I tried until my wrists and ankles were bruised. My heart was racing and I didn't know what to do! I didn't even know if I needed to be panicking as much as I was, but it didn't matter because I was. I was so scared for Cloud's safety and I literally could do nothing! I was restrained to a chair in pitch blackness for God knows how long.
Hours, maybe even close to a day passed and I had no voice left from all of my screaming. My eyes felt just as raw as my throat from my crying. I just wanted to get out and see Cloud again. He'd make me happy… Nothing else in the god forsaken place gave me the happiness that Cloud gave me.
Shivers began to run up and down my skin as it felt so fucking cold in here this time… I felt goosebumps all over my skin. I knocked my head on the chair and stared into the blackness… I just wanted Cloud… The longer I stayed in here, the more I wanted him. If he got hurt in the riot, I was killing someone. What are they gonna do? Give me more time in here? Yeah. Because this is helping NO ONE! It wasn't helping to protect anyone and it certainly wasn't helping my own sanity.
Time continued to pass and eventually my anxiety got the best of me and I began throwing up from nervousness. First it was whatever was still managing to be in my stomach, but it turned into bile soon enough. I was gross and my throat and eyes hurt so much from rawness.
Nothing felt real… Time was an enigma and my ass hurt from sitting here so fucking long. My entire body was sore from sitting like this and all I could manage to smell was my body fluids and it made me even sicker. How much longer of this?
Every time I became conscious again, the disgusting, odor surrounded me yet again and I would dry heave. I couldn't even plug my nose! This was Hell! Absolute Hell!
The worst part is that every time I thought it was long enough, more time would pass. I think they want me to die in here… I couldn't even feel hungry anymore, there was just this horrible pit in my stomach. I was so fucking thirsty.
When the door finally opened, I given water and was taken for a shower. I was told it was two and half weeks since I got locked in. Two and half weeks… I spent most of that time throwing up, screaming, and crying.
After getting out of the shower, I was told it was lunchtime, but I still didn't even feel hungry. Especially when I sat, and I didn't see Cloud… With an intensely horse voice, I asked, "Where's Ephraim?" My friends were silent and I started shaking… I dropped my tray and turned to a guard. I grabbed him by the collar and begged, "Where the fuck is Cloud?!"
"Who?" he asked and I felt sick again, but I asked in what little voice I had, "Where's my cellmate? The short, blonde I'm always with? My boyfriend? My only fucking happiness in the fucking shithole? Where's Cloud…?" Somehow, I still had tears to shed and I was crying yet again.
"Sephiroth… he got caught in the riot…" stated someone… I didn't even register who… Shock filled me and I just… I didn't know what to do… I let go of the guard who apologized, "I'm so sorry… I wasn't there…"
"Then what the fuck were you doing?! Someone fucking died! A life was lost!" I managed to yell, but the guard corrected, "I wasn't at the prison at all. It was my day off." I guess… I couldn't be that angry at him for that… I sat at the bench, replying, "Oh…" With that, I simply stated, "I want to go back to my cell." I was going to kill myself. What was here to live for if not Cloud? I couldn't think of a damn thing…
"You'll forfeit lunchtime, then," I was told and I insisted, "I don't care. I'm not even hungry."
My request was accepted and the guard took me to my cell where I stepped in and looked around. I'd hang myself… I began tying up the sheet to make a noose and tied it around the top bunk bars. I put my head into the noose, tightened it, and dropped myself as roughly as I could to my knees. Light-headedness came first, I tried again and once more before I heard something like a crack, and then all went black…
"Oh, God! He's trying to hang himself! Get him out! Someone save him!" Guards rushed in, opening the cell I was already standing out of, watching this scene play out. I put my hands out in front of me, staring… I was… dead. A ghost… I really hanged myself… Curiosity filled me and I stared into my cell that guards were trying to help my already limp, lifeless body. I was so thin… They got me out of the noose and pronounced me dead. It was so strange…
"Damn it… I knew he'd beat up about hearing about his boyfriend. The faggot," one of the guards name dropped.
"Hey. If it was one solace, let him be. Clearly, it was painful enough for him to take his own life," one of the guards backed me up and I smiled. So, there were some nice guys here. One of the guards swatted at him, "Don't be a sap. This monster slaughtered a shit-ton of scientists at Shinra. He didn't deserve happiness. They should've given him death."
"You should've known how they treated their patients…" I stated, glaring at the guard. I huffed. Pointless… I'd be buried and forgotten about. society would be happy to see me gone, too. I was sure of it.
I then looked around me, not seeing anyone else dead. Besides wanting to find Cloud, I had somewhere I wanted to go. With a sudden smile on my face, I ran to the library. Upon my arrival, I noticed Zack was with Aerith…
"I just… I don't know what happened those weeks ago, but I haven't seen Ephraim or Sephiroth at all an I'm really worried about them," Zack complained, clearly worried. Oh, Zack… I went to reach for him, but my hand went right through his shoulder… He shivered and looked around, almost right at me, but Aerith… she did look right at me and her face filled with shock, then sadness. I gave her a wave before she grabbed her husband's hands. She stated, "Zackery… I know what happened to Sephiroth, at least…" Zack almost perked up before she gestured to me with her head, saying, "He's standing right here…" Zack began crying and I felt my heart break… somehow…
"I didn't want to ever hurt you like this, Zack… I just couldn't live on without Cloud… There was a riot, and he got caught up in it… Cloud, that's Ephraim's real name…" I didn't know if I was even being heard, but soon, while Aerith was clearing Zack's tears away, she repeated me, then informed him, "That's what he just said." She turned to look at me and suggested, "You should give him a sign whenever your around here, Sephiroth. You could talk through a Ouija board or a digital recorder." I pondered that and then had thought of about something and told Aerith, "Tell Zack that my sign will be opening or moving the Loveless book." She informed Zack of that and he smiled. Rather sadly, but he did smile
"I guess I'll be talking to ghosts, just like you, Flower," Zack replied, trying to seem happy, but I couldn't imagine it was easy for him right now. Though, Zack being sad was the worst sight… He deserved so much happiness. A thought occurred to me and I asked, "Have you seen Cloud, Aerith?" She shook her head and I swore, "Fuck…" I insisted then, "I need to find him." With that, I was off again. Aerith and Zack knew I was still around in my own way, but it was better this way, if I was being honest with myself. There was something so freeing about running through these halls, I had to laugh. I felt free for the first time in my life… I didn't have to listen to a single person or do a single thing that wasn't in my ideas of things to do.
I made it to the cafeteria and my heart raced when I saw the one person I wanted to see there… I shouted, "CLOUD!" The inmate looked up from the table and looked horrified, but I ran up to him and lifted him from the bench, embracing him as tightly as I possibly could.
"You died because I couldn't protect you… I'm so fucking sorry…. I'm sorry, I'm sorry… I'm sorry…" I apologized over and over and over. He kissed me, though, and that shut me up. When he pulled away, he insisted, "I was going to wait for you… I was told to. I was told I couldn't possibly think about trying to find a path to move on until we were able to talk again." I blinked curiously. What ghost told him that? I mean, it had to be another ghost, right? That only made sense.
"How did you die? In solitary?" Cloud asked me and shook my head, informing, "No… I got out, showered, then came to lunch and I was told you died in the riot. I asked to go to my cell where I hanged myself. I couldn't live without you. I couldn't lose anyone else important to me and continue to live on. It hurt too fucking much." Cloud nodded, but I had to ask, "Who told you to wait for me? A dead inmate?" I then felt someone swat at the back of my head and bitch, "Well I wouldn't be caught dead or alive in black and white stripes. You look like a dork. Especially with that silver hair of yours." I never thought I'd hear that voice ever again… Letting go of Cloud, I turned and I dropped to my knees from shock. He knelt in front of me and grabbed my hands.
"If I could cry, I'd be sobbing. It's you! It's really you, Genesis…" I insisted and Genesis hugged me. He greeted, "Yeah. It's me. Hi, Sephiroth." I begged, "How the fuck did you get here? Is Angeal with you?" He moved some hair from my face as he nodded. He informed, "Angeal is here. I'm not sure where he is right now, but he's here. We've watching over you for about two months now. We discovered how to move through the dimensions via mirrors. So, we did. It was lucky break that we found this prison and then you." So… Aerith was right! It hit me suddenly of why she didn't want to tell me who was watching over me…. I commented, "I think Aerith knew me too well… If she said you two were with me, I would have tried to kill myself much earlier."
"And we couldn't have Cloud all alone," Angeal's voice rang and I looked up to see him as well. I gave him the biggest hug, too. I turned to Cloud and smiled brightly. I informed, "I'm so happy you met my friends, Cloud! I would've dated them if we had the mind to do that." Cloud giggled, but came to hug me. He replied, "I know. As long as I can stick with you, I don't care who else you hang around with."
"I died for you, Cloud. I love you so fucking much, it's unreal. Of course, you'll always be hanging around me. From now to forever," I demanded. Genesis wrapped an arm around my shoulders, telling me, "And since we went through soooo much effort to find your murderous ass, you owe us." I rose a brow curiously, asking, "Owe you? How?"
"He wants all of us to be a thing with each other. Like, dating wise? But who keeps track of that as a ghost?" Angeal questioned and Genesis bitched, "I do! Fuck man, this is the first time I can keep track of anything I want to. Just, fucking date us, Sephiroth. You too, Cloud." I glanced at Cloud who replied, "I don't care, really. I just want to know Sephiroth is with me." Genesis pulled my hair back and kissed my lips, making me squeak. Angeal then kissed my forehead. I smiled as I stood straight again.
"This is my afterlife? Fuck, man! I should've died sooner!" I exclaimed. We all laughed and Angeal rubbed at my head. Cloud then mentioned, "Right… So, that riot was actually pretty uncontrollable. Several people were taken to confinement, but there weren't enough guards to restrain everyone involved. Me and Fifi both died, I haven't seen him, though. Then, a few other inmates, and two guards died, too. It was a huge, massive mess and super bloody. It happened while you being taken away, actually. I remember having my focus be on you and not what was happening around me." I sighed heavily. I commented, "Right. They tranqed me because I wouldn't stop kicking and screaming. What the fuck did they want me to do?"
"I have no clue. It was just a mess," Cloud informed and I sighed. I admitted, "Wish I could've been around to save some lives, but I fucking guess not…"
"You're with us. That's what I find most important," Genesis commented and I nodded. We were all dead, but we all head each other. Angeal informed me, "By the way, I was trying to give you some comfort and peace of mind in solitary. Your body reacted to how cold it was, but you were too distressed to pay it much mind." I blinked curiously.
"Right… It was super cold in there this time. That was because of you?" I questioned and Angeal nodded. He told me, "Genesis stayed with Cloud and I stayed with you. That's how we decided to do that." I nodded slowly. I then thanked, "Thanks for comforting my boyfriend, Genesis."
"Hey? He's my boyfriend now, too, Sephiroth," Genesis insisted, smirked and I grinned.
"Right, right. Us being poly and all. I'll commit that to memory soon enough," I replied. It felt like dying was the best thing I could've done… Who the fuck would've thought?