Chapter 6: The Symptoms

Claude was hating work more than ever. Every day, he left for the courthouse early in the morning and didn't return until sunset. He usually had a late dinner with Esmeralda, leaving only about an hour of the night with her after that unless they stayed up late (which always left Claude fatigued during work the next day). On a good day he had time to meet her for lunch, often at Quasimodo's house. Thankfully, Quasimodo was happy just to see Claude that much. It was less than he'd gotten used to over the years, but Quasimodo was a grown man now. He worked a job, took care of himself, and didn't need to see his father every day. Having lunch together a few times a week was enough to meet his need for quality time. The same could not be said, however, about Claude's and Esmeralda's needs for each other.

Under different circumstances, this schedule would have been at least temporarily sustainable for a married couple. Not satisfying, but enough to keep them from missing each other too much. But it wasn't enough right now. Claude hated having so little time with his wife when she was pregnant. And although Esmeralda didn't complain, he knew she hated this too. The one day they'd spent together after learning the news had been delightful, but they really needed more than that. The time they had together right now simply wasn't enough to plan for a baby, or even to enjoy the beautiful expectation together. And even if Esmeralda managed it well, Claude couldn't help feeling guilty that he wasn't around her more during what surely included some unpleasant times. She always deserved the company of her husband, but most of all when she was carrying his child.

By now Claude had his mind made up that he would not keep living this way. The meetings, which he dreaded, were now centered around preparing for even more dreadful meetings. He would soon be hosting a conference of every leading judge in France to explain the new protocols to them. When this was finally planned and arranged, Claude would not spend his waking hours at the courthouse anymore. He would resume a normal work schedule so he could properly be there for Esmeralda. It would be difficult, Claude knew that much would be required of him as this project proceeded, but he would somehow find a way to remove himself from it enough to be a decent husband. And a decent father, when it came to that. He had to, somehow.

Unfortunately, the men he worked with were not going to appreciate this. Claude was only willing to tell one of them at first: Judge Belmont. He was not quite a friend of the Minister of Justice, but Belmont was probably the closest of Claude's professional acquaintances at this time. The man had worked in the courts for many years, seemingly going along with the expectations of Claude and the other judges. But Claude's ambition to make amends to the people he'd mistreated, the Romani people especially, had surprisingly piqued Belmont's interest. He'd easily agreed to enforce the new protocols and had quickly become Claude's strongest ally in the court system. His eagerness indicated that he had likely wanted this in secret for a long time, but his relationship to Claude was not cordial enough that he was willing to explain why. Still, Judge Belmont had gained Claude's trust, so he was the best person to start with when breaking some difficult news.

Claude was met with an open-mouthed stare when he revealed his plan.

"You're planning to slash your working hours?!" The other judge asked in disbelief.

"I must." Claude insisted. "This schedule can't be maintained. I'm not sleeping enough."

He didn't intend to share his real reason for stepping back from work. Neither Claude nor Esmeralda wanted to deal with the gossip and questions that would surely start if people outside of their loved ones were to learn about the baby. They wouldn't be able to keep the secret forever, but they preferred to deal with it at a time when it felt less tiring.

"That never stopped you before!" Belmont reminded.

He was right. Claude had been known in the past for working ridiculous hours when he wanted to. But he'd changed in many ways in recent times, and one of those changes was that he now found purpose in things other than his work. Even if he hadn't had a wife at home, Claude was sure he would have been reluctant to spend this much time on his work anymore.

"As you know, I've changed quite a bit." Claude reminded. "I care about other things now. Surely you understand."

"I... Well, of course I do." Belmont admitted. "I don't want to do this either. But Sir, this conference is going to be time consuming, even after it ends. These judges are terrible, and we need to get them to change their minds!"

Claude sighed angrily.

He was becoming increasingly resentful of the current state of things. As important as this project was, it had no right to keep him from his pregnant wife like this. He had to make it so he had time for her, even if it complicated the process.

"Who said we had to change their minds?!" Claude snapped. "I'm the Minister of Justice, and I am giving them orders! They may have announced their feelings about the matter, but they won't be so foolish as to disobey my orders!"

At first, Claude had cared about making these men see things differently. He'd wanted to make them see what he now saw, that they weren't better than other people because of their power. But starting a family changed all of Claude's priorities. Changing bad men's hearts was not important to him right now, not if it kept him from being the husband and father he needed to be. He only needed to get those judges to go along with his plans, which they certainly would if it was mandatory, even if they did it begrudgingly.

"Minister Frollo," Judge Belmont sighed. "I'm inclined to agree with you. I'm as tired as you are, and I don't want to fight so hard to convince these men. But it isn't enough for them to simply accept your orders. How do you think they'll live up to that when you're not around? They'll fake it, that's what they'll do! Perhaps someday you'll find the means to keep an eye on them more, but until then they'll cheat as much as they can! The only way they won't is if we make them understand!"

None of this was new information. Claude wasn't blind enough not to know that corrupt judges would merely act like they weren't abusing their power when ordered to use it properly. The fact was that he had no way of watching all of them closely enough to know that their behavior was just. He'd be checking on them in the future, of course, but making them care enough to at least make a little effort was the most efficient course of action. Not doing so would mean even more years of seeing this project through. Claude knew this. He'd only allowed himself to ignore it for a moment, out of wishful thinking.

Working on this project while being there for his wife and child was becoming more and more unfathomable.

Claude practically slammed the door behind him, startling a guard.

"Sir!" The guard cried in surprise. "Back so soon?"

It was only mid morning, ages sooner than Claude was expected back. But he was too desperate to care.

"I must see my wife." He explained. "It's important."

He needed to talk to Esmeralda before resuming his scheduled frustrating activities, otherwise he would be too upset to focus.

But suddenly, Claude stopped in the middle of the hallway. It occurred him that he shouldn't assume Esmeralda was here. She didn't like to stay indoors too long, and she had friends, so it was typical of her to go out when Claude wasn't around.

He turned back to the guard.

"Is she here?" Claude asked.

The guard looked at him strangely.

"...Yes, my lord." He replied.

Claude questioned the odd look. Was he being judged because he didn't know exactly where his wife was? Perhaps some men insisted on knowing the whereabouts of their wives at all times, but Claude was not one of them. Not anymore. It would annoy him if he had to defend that fact.

"Is there a problem?" Claude questioned sternly.

The guard looked at him even more awkwardly.

"I just don't know why the lady would be anywhere else." The guard explained. "Given how she's feeling this morning..."

Claude was taken aback. Was Esmeralda not feeling well?

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I thought you knew, Sir." The guard explained. "She was sick earlier, then she went into the bedroom and didn't come out. She just hasn't been well, recently. Often when I see her, she looks quite tired."

Claude couldn't believe his oblivion. This had clearly been going on for days. How could he be this unaware of his own wife's state of health?!

"Should I be worried?" The guard asked next.

"No..." Claude murmured. "That is my job..."

Without another word, he hurried down the hallway. Thoughts of a sick Esmeralda troubled Claude as he rushed to the bedroom, where he quickly swung the door open to find an upsetting sight.

Esmeralda lay in bed under a pile of blankets, a faint groan escaping her lips. Her hair was disheveled, getting in her face, which sported a pained expression. Claude could tell she was wearing the same nightgown she'd gone to bed in the night before, and she looked even more tired now than she had late at night. Tired and miserable.

Claude was instantly by her side, taking her hand and brushing a few strands of hair out of her face. Her eyes opened when she sensed his touch.

"...Claude?" Esmeralda questioned, barely turning her face toward him.

"Are you alright?" Claude asked. "One of the guards said you were sick..."

Esmeralda sighed.

"I'm fine..." She groaned.

"You look miserable!" Claude said worriedly.

"It's nothing." Esmeralda insisted. "Just things that happen when you're pregnant... I'll feel better soon."

With a grunt, she rose, sitting up in bed.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, running a hand through her hair to tidy it.

"I wanted to see you." Claude explained. "But now I'm worried."

Esmeralda frowned, seemingly disappointed that she'd made her husband concerned.

"I just want to make sure you are well." Claude said softly. "That isn't a burden."

Esmeralda nodded, still frowning.

Claude couldn't help returning the look.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked sadly.

Esmeralda looked down at the sheets when she replied.

"You're hardly around here." She explained. "Before you ask, I'm not mad. I know it's not what you want, and I know you're looking for a way to spend more time with me. I just didn't want to upset you when you did have time. We have so few conversations... I just wanted them to be pleasant. It never seemed like a good time to mention... how I've been feeling..."

Claude was slightly heartbroken by this explanation, and it was written all over his face.

"I always want to know how you are feeling." He shared. "I don't care how inconvenient it is."

He put his hand on her thigh, lightly caressing her though the bed sheets.

"How bad is it?" Claude questioned.

Esmeralda shrugged.

"Really not too bad." She assured. "I'm just nauseous and tired. Aching a little. It's all normal, and it's not all day. And some days are better than others."

Claude was relieved that this wasn't as frequent as he'd feared, but he was still unhappy with the knowledge that Esmeralda was this uncomfortable so regularly.

"I wish I'd been here..." He said regretfully.

"Claude, I really am okay." Esmeralda insisted.

She started to smile.

"Like I said," She started. "it's not all the time. I can handle feeling a little sick sometimes, I just sleep it off."

Claude didn't doubt that. Esmeralda was strong, she could handle feeling a little unwell. What really worried Claude was what the near future would have in store. Perhaps Esmeralda didn't need him so much now, but what if she needed him more later in her pregnancy?

"I know you can take care of yourself." Claude acknowledged. "But I also know this is only the beginning. Many months will pass before we meet our child. I should be here to wait with you, especially on the difficult days."

Claude deeply wished that a baby could come at a better time. But when he thought of how bad the circumstances were, a thought occurred to him.

"Perhaps there is something I could do..." He said with a debating tone.

Esmeralda eyed him silently, struggling to anticipate the idea.

"Suppose I delayed this project." Claude suggested. "I could simply put it off until the baby is born."

Esmeralda's unpleasant state seemed to be over in an instant, her energy returning in a burst.

"What?!" She practically yelled.

Claude was taken by surprise. He hadn't expected Esmeralda to be thrilled with this idea, but neither to immediately dislike it.

"Why shouldn't I?" Claude questioned. "I could be here so much more for the coming months, then after the birth-"

"You'll be busy again." Esmeralda finished. "While you have a baby at home."

"I know it isn't ideal." Claude said sadly. "But this project won't occupy me forever, and I'll still be as present as possible. I just think it would be be better to manage that when the worst is already over. You need me more right now."

"No!" Esmeralda snapped. "You're completely wrong!"

Claude was confused. He knew it was important for him to be present once a child was in the picture, but it seemed that the first months of that were the least unfortunate time to be busy. The child wouldn't remember that early time of his or her life, there would be just enough time for Claude to get his busy days out of the way so he could be around for later times that would be remembered. It also seemed to be best as far as Esmeralda's needs went. She'd have a baby to care for, but that was nothing she couldn't manage once her body was back to its usual energetic state. Surely it couldn't be more difficult than the process of said baby growing inside her, which seemed to Claude like the more critical time for him to be present. Esmeralda would need him less when she felt strong, but she would need him more when pregnancy was difficult.

At least, that was what Claude had assumed. Esmeralda clearly disagreed with him.

"Have I misunderstood something?" He asked sincerely.

Esmeralda was totally gaping at him.

Claude wondered what mistake he'd made to cause this. It wasn't usual for his wife to look at him this way. She typically tried to understand his point of view rather than judge him, and she was hardly ever shocked anymore by things her husband said. Receiving this look from her was making Claude nervous. Had he done something wrong?

"You've been a father before." Esmeralda reminded. "You should know what taking care of a baby is like."

Claude still wasn't sure what his mistake was. He did understand that babies needed constant supervision, but that alone didn't seem like a terrible burden. Esmeralda wouldn't mind spending time with her child at all, and she wouldn't mind the regular tasks of caring for a baby.

"I know infants need to be supervised." Claude acknowledged. "But they're alright as long as you keep them clean and fed, right?"

"That's the least difficult part." Esmeralda argued. "Babies aren't easy. They crawl and wander off, they get sick, they cry... Surely you know much babies cry! They'll start crying when you've just sat down for a meal, or when you're talking to your friends, or when you're trying to sleep in the middle of the night... Babies get upset all the time and don't feel any better until you comfort them! It's even more exhausting than all the diapers you need to change!"

Claude was stunned by the image Esmeralda put in his head. It was his turn to gape now.

Esmeralda realized just how oblivious her husband was to what life with an infant was like. But how was that possible?

"Claude, did you really not know this?" She asked in disbelief.

Claude sighed, looking defeated and slightly embarrassed.

"We spoke of this before," He said after some hesitation. "of how the upper class handle child care."

This topic had come up months ago, when the couple had been discussing how a child of theirs would grow up. They'd acknowledged the fact that wealthy people normally did not take responsibility for the care of their own children, they hired other people to do that. Claude himself had lived his first years in the care of a nurse rather than his own parents. But Esmeralda had been sure that she didn't want that for her child. She'd grown up in a community where children had the attention of their parents, and she strongly felt that it was valuable. Claude had easily agreed. He might have felt differently if he hadn't brought up Quasimodo so independently, but that experience had made Claude feel that it was best to be fully responsible for raising your own child if you wanted to properly know and bond with them (even if he hadn't appreciated that while he was actively raising the boy).

The couple had therefore agreed that they alone would be responsible for their child (they would of course accept help from friends, but they would not expect full time child care of anyone). Esmeralda had assumed that Claude was aware of all that this involved, but now it appeared that he wasn't. Why was he bringing up wealthy people's ways as if that was what he'd done before?

"I remember..." Esmeralda said confusedly. "But you didn't raise Quasimodo that way. You were the one who took care of him."

"Yes, for most of his life." Claude confirmed. "But for the first few years, I paid women to tend to him. I visited regularly, but I couldn't watch a baby all day when I was working. I only begun to raise Quasimodo by myself when he was old enough to be left alone."

There was no more confusion. Esmeralda didn't need to question why her husband had ever thought it was a good idea to make himself busy after the baby was born. He truly hadn't known the hardship of those days that came after welcoming a newborn. He hadn't properly lived through them before.

"I suppose I don't really know much about it." Claude admitted sorrowfully.

Esmeralda sensed an unfortunate mixture of emotions in Claude's voice. He sounded fearful, guilty, and helpless all at once. Esmeralda now regretted being so sharp with him.

"I didn't mean to put you down." She assured. "I assumed you did this before, but it's okay if you haven't."

"No, it isn't." Claude argued. "I've just realized I'm incompetent with babies, and we're going to have one."

"New parents aren't supposed to be competent." Esmeralda informed. "I'm not ready either."

Esmeralda did have some experience with babies since she'd helped neighbors with their children at times, but she knew that didn't nearly prepare her for actually being a mother. She would need Claude's support as much as he needed hers.

She squeezed his hand.

"And I don't need you to be ready either." Esmeralda assured. "I just need you to be there so I'm not doing it all alone. That's enough."

Claude managed a smile.

"And so I shall be there." He promised.

Esmeralda smiled back at him.

Claude was relieved in more than one way by Esmeralda's promise that not being alone in this journey was enough. He was reminded that it would be enough for him too. As long as he had her, he could handle whatever challenges came with raising a child.

Suddenly, Esmeralda winced with a grunt.

"Are you alright?" Claude asked.

Esmeralda nodded.

"Just aching a bit." She explained.

She still looked rather tired. More rest would probably do her good.

"Lie down." Claude encouraged. "I'll make you comfortable."

Esmeralda willingly settled back onto the mattress. Claude then pulled the blankets over her, making sure she was warm.

"How is that?" Claude asked.

"Perfect." Esmeralda replied sleepily.

"I'll let you rest." Claude promised. "But if you're feeling well enough later, I'd love to have lunch together."

"I like that idea." Esmeralda said with a tired smile.

Claude kissed her forehead as she drifted off to sleep before quietly exiting.

He'd been meaning to speak to her about his work schedule, but that could wait until she felt a little better. At least seeing her in this state had reminded Claude of how much he was needed. He had to make more time for Esmeralda. He just had to make it so that this didn't interfere too much with the coming conference.