Author's note: I do not own Beverly Hills 90210 or it's characters.
"Val. Hi. It's me, Dylan."
"Sorry. Don't believe I know a Dylan." She said it in a sugary sweet voice as casually as someone might say good morning. He expected this.
He matched her sweet tone, "Oh come on, Val. Is that any way to treat an old friend?"
"Oh no, I don't treat my friends that way." she said nicely "but you're no friend of mine which I consider quite fortunate…" Her voice lost its sweetness towards the end and faded into the laced sarcasm that Dylan remembered. Don't let it get to you. Keep it light. Keep it friendly. It's the only way.
Dylan feigned mock outrage, "Ouch! Fierce as ever I see, still unwilling to play nice." He imagined her on the other line rolling her eyes. He decided to dial up the sweetness. Not enough charm to be considered flirty, but enough to seem sincere and interested.
He added a soft huskiness to his voice, "Of course I'm your friend. I know it didn't always seem that way, but I am. It's been a while, how are you? How's New York?"
"Cut the shit, Dylan." He could practically hear the scowl on her face over the phone. "Small talk isn't your thing." She's right.
"What do you want McKay?" He should have known his sweet talk wouldn't work on her like any other woman. Val knew him well enough for that at least.
He thought through his words carefully. How would he persuade her to give him the information he wanted? Especially when even he himself knew he didn't deserve to hear it. Dylan sat on the couch and ran his hands through his hair.
"Okay, you're right. Look, Val. I don't want this to be weird. I know we don't really talk, and I've never asked about…" Dylan paused and quietly cussed himself for being an idiot and not being able to just get the words out. He sighed and blew out an exasperated breath. Spit it out already. The question was on the tip of his tongue, and as he was getting ready to blurt it out, she interrupted him.
She let out a frustrated groan, she was definitely over his obvious act. "Dylan…just leave her alone." What?
"Leave who alone?" He asked already knowing the "her" Val was referring to.
"Christ, Dylan. I'm not an idiot. Nearly 2 years of no contact then suddenly you're calling me out of the blue feigning curiosity about how life is in New York knowing full well a certain brunette sister of mine is now my roommate…"
Dylan actually didn't know that. He knew they were best friends, family, and had reconnected in New York but their living situation really was news to him. And if they were roommates...bingo. She definitely knew where she was.
"If you've called to get in touch with her or ask for her number you've wasted your time cuz there's no way in hell-"
Dylan cut her off, "Val you know don't you? Brenda. She's here? In LA?" Short silence. Dylan imagined Val on the other end trying to figure out how to play this. He continued. "I swore that maybe I saw her today. She is here." That time he said it as a statement, not a question because he already knew the answer. The answer his gut had already told him, but Val wasn't giving anything solid away.
"What I know sleeze is that you should just stay the hell away from her. You've done enough damage with your games. What? Tired of little miss perfect? Chased Kelly Taylor for 2 years and then when you get her you're bored? Missing the thrill? Trying to see if Bren wants a turn at a game of cat and mouse? Like she's some toy you can pick up and put down whenever you feel like it? I don't think so McKay." The anger seething through her voice was significant, but Dylan knew he deserved every bit of it.
"No. I'm not trying to play any game, I swear. I just need you to tell me where she is. How to get in touch with her? I just…I just want to make sure she's okay." Dylan doesn't say that he needs to see her, be near her, feel her again after all this time. He needs it like he needs oxygen.
"Oh you want to check in on her? Really? Now you care?" Val continues to ramble into the phone, not speaking specifically to Dylan but knowing full well he's listening to every word, "Wow. Over 4 years later and now he wants to make sure she's okay. Forget about the fact that he's the one that left her devastated in the first place. Or the fact that even since then he's only continued with his wake of devastation, or how about the fact that Mr. James Dean over here…"
"Val." Dylan tried to bring her out of her rant to get the conversation back on track.
She huffs and snaps back "She doesn't need you to check in on her. Not anymore. So do your thing, and run away Dylan."
"I can't Val. If she's in Beverly Hills, I want to see her. I know I've messed everything up but she's still my family."
Val lets out a mock laugh. "Ha! Family? That's rich. I was under the impression that some sort of connection was required to consider someone family, and well, since you've only ever connected with Kelly Taylor and Toni…hmmm, yep. Bren doesn't necessarily fit that category now does she?"
Shit. Shit. How does she know about that? And worse, if she knows that, that means Brenda…
"How'd…"
She answered before his question was even fully formed.
"Oh I know. It doesn't matter how I know but I do. And so does she. She knows everything.
"What do you mean everything?" Dylan's voice was shaking with the question. He didn't even know why he asked it. He didn't need clarification.
"I mean everything Dylan. So as I'm sure you can imagine, you're the last person she needs checking in on her." She put emphasis on the last part. "If you think you're seeing Bren, it's probably just your guilty conscience. She's not in LA Dylan. And trust me when I say, we are good here. Take your sorry act somewhere else." And with that, Val hung up the phone.
Dylan sat reeling from the call on his couch. He'd expected the anger, he'd expected the reaction and the scolding. Val and her absolute honestly when it came to putting someone in their place was not unknown to him. But what he wasn't expecting was hearing that Brenda had known all about his antics since arriving back in Beverly Hills, since he'd left London. Dylan tried to make a mental list of everything he'd done since leaving her.
If Brenda knew everything then that means she knew about the heroin, the alcohol, the coldness in the way he spoke about her to their friends, his telling Kelly that he missed her, came back for her and chasing after her. Brenda knew about him telling Kelly he'd never connected with anyone but her and Toni, effectively implying that his connection with Brenda had never even existed. She knew that he played up his connection with Kelly as something of soulmate status. She knew about Gina and all the other women. And all this was AFTER the events of London…Fuck. He would be lucky if Brenda ever even glanced in his direction again.
Dylan didn't know what he expected. That she would never find out about his behavior and actions after he left? He realized then that he'd counted on the fact that Brenda didn't catch up with the gang often, and surely she wouldn't want to hear about him. Brandon wasn't around either to keep her informed so maybe she wouldn't hear about any of it.
That hope was now gone. She knew it all and any trace of her Dylan had probably dissipated in her eyes long ago. Not that it any of it matters. According to Val, Brenda was in fact not in LA. And she was clearly not going to budge on allowing Dylan any information leading to contact with her. She surely wouldn't speak to him anyway. Would Val lie? Probably. Especially if she felt she was protecting Brenda. Dylan understood that role, it used to be his.
But maybe she's telling the truth too, an illusion created by a guilty conscience wasn't outside the realm of possibilty. When it came to guilt over Brenda, Dylan had it in spades. He knew what he felt, he knew the power of their connection. But he also knew that he'd hit a wall. Nowhere to go from here. Maybe what he felt the other day really wasn't her, but simply a wish. A wish coming to the surface after years of trying to push it down. Ugh. The call with Val left him with more uncertainly than he had before he'd even picked up the phone.
She hung up the phone and sighed loudly to herself. Did she do the right thing? Of course she did. Bren wouldn't want anyone to know she was in LA unless she told them herself. Especially Dylan. Val knew the anxiety her sister had already felt just having to visit Beverly Hills. Both she and Bren knew the toxicity surrounding that place. The jealousy, entitlement, dishonesty, false personas, and constant judgement. That's why she and Bren never could quite fit in. They were both strong willed, stubborn, honest to a fault. They were straight shooters and didn't shy away from calling a spade a spade. At least it had started that way.
Beverly Hills had an interesting effect on both of them. As soon as Valerie arrived there, her survival instincts kicked in. She'd always been someone who could bullshit her way through anything. Someone who could play the player and win the game. Val's life experiences had helped her to build a defensive personality. Block them out. Dont let them in. Protect yourself. She was someone who learned to manipulate when needed, and in Beverly Hills it seemed it was needed often. The place and the people that called themselves friends there required her to always be in defensive mode. No one was honest there. Everyone lied to each other, to themselves, all of them products of their environment. Valerie adapted, and put on her own persona. How else would she survive in a world of falsehood.
She wasn't always that way. There was a time that Valerie Malone appreciated honest relationships. Sure she'd always had to be the strong warrior type in her home life. It was how she survived the years of abuse. But she had a big heart and she lended her strength to her two younger siblings, protected them. She'd helped raise them. Only her other two honorary siblings, the Walsh twins, knew her true heart. She'd tried to open herself up to David, someone she truly did love. Probably the only man she'd ever really loved before, and well, she'd learned her lesson. Val would never let anyone else see her with her walls down again. Her experience in Beverly Hills had hardened her, made her already thick skin thicker, but it also opened her eyes to the reality that she would never twist herself into something she wasn't again.
Brenda's experience in Beverly Hills was different. She'd started off wanting to fit in. A different type of survival mode. It wasn't the type where you immediately put up walls for self-preservation. No, Brenda's survival mode was one of quiet acceptance. She stayed strong willed but tried her best to not seem like an outcast. When she first arrived she'd tried to dress the part, dress more California and less Minnesota. She'd participate in parties, made "friends" with the Beverly Hills princess types, and did her best to seem like she was meant to be there. Don't give them any reason to see you as an outsider. Survive.
Despite those things, she stayed true to herself for a long while. Over time she found a balance between her Minnesota roots and her current status as a California resident. She'd developed her own unique style, she never let someone's social status define her relationships, she never became materialistic, she did her best to maintain healthy friendships, and she remained honest with herself and others. She allowed herself to be fully open, and trust the people in her circle. She was stubborn, didn't hold back, and always stood up for herself. Well. Almost always.
After years of building a life she thought was genuine, years of thinking she knew her place there, Brenda's eyes were opened to the truth of Beverly Hills. A place void of anything but betrayal and unkindness. She'd always been everything for everyone else, but when it came down to it, her boyfriend, her "friends", and even her own twin turned away from her, with the latter being poisoned by his own Beverly Hills toxins.
Her third year in Beverly Hills saw Brenda turn herself into someone she'd come to despise. Someone who would twist her morals, hold back her honest feelings, and lose her respect for herself in order to keep a relationship with Dylan. A relationship that she shouldn't have had to fight for in the first place. Her boyfriend and best friend cheated, and her friends turned their back on HER. They'd made her feel like it was her own fault. No one cared about her pain. In fact they went out of their way to avoid it. As far as everyone else was concerned, she'd brought it on herself. She somehow maintined grace and class in the face of all of this. She'd now become the outcast she never wanted to be, and worse, it was with her own friend group. Her own gang.
It was then that a different type of survival mode kicked in for Brenda. She didn't want to fit in, she wanted to disappear into the shadows, blend in until she was hardly noticeable. She wanted to go through life without incident, without eyes on her. It was easier to appear like she was unaffected that way. She'd built a wall around her heart, and around her life. Don't let them see you cry. Don't give them a reason to see you as fragile. She'd let their mistreatment of her roll off her back. Gone was the girl that would call out anyone that deserved it. The girls that was so vivacious and full of life, someone who could light up any room had purposely made herself small. She continued to show kindness to people that didn't deserve it and shied away from voicing her own feelings out loud. She'd take the subtle digs, the blatant disrespect, and the misdirected blame all in the name of keeping the peace. All in the name of holding herself together, to seem unaffected by the lies and betrayal of people she trusted. Survive. Brenda had hidden herself away so deep that she eventually couldn't recognize herself anymore. Her dream life in Beverly Hills had eventually become her own personal hell. It had stifled her light, dulled her sparkle, and made her untrusting, even to herself.
Getting out of that place was the best thing for both women. Val and Brenda, once reconnected, shared an honest, genuine sisterhood. They were vibrant, tough, and had regained the light that had been snuffed out of them. They trusted one another. They held each other up, didnt let the other deter from their true self, and supported each other fully without judgement. They offered each other absolute honesty, even when the truth was hard to hear. Tough love was sometimes necessary in order to maintain a solid foundation and ensure that they were making decisions without a clouded mind. They would not let the women they'd allowed themselves to turn into in Beverly Hills return.
It stung both women when Brenda was blindsided with the tour schedule and was now being forced to go back to a place that's caused her so much pain in the past. If she could get through it without incident and focus on the work, then it would be okay. But after that call. Shit.
Even if Val denied that Brenda was there, he obviously suspected. He said he thought he'd seen her, he seemed certain that she was there. Brenda had once explained to Val the way the air changed when she was near Dylan. Had he felt that? If so it's no wonder he was so convinced. So much for her stealthy visit. But what does he want with her? Given their history, whatever it was was sure to undo all of the progress she'd made in trying to finally move past him.
Fuck. Going back to Beverly Hills was the last thing Val wanted to do. She despised the place. But if Dylan suspected, maybe it was only a matter of time before Brenda's presence there was confirmed, and then everyone would know. Brenda was much stronger now, but Val couldn't, wouldn't leave her sister there alone to face whatever could threaten to pull apart everything she'd worked hard to move past.
Val let out a loud frustrated groan and then dialed Bren's number. She left a message warning her that it was possible Dylan knew she was in LA and informed her briefly of the details of his call. Upon hanging up, Val immediately started to make arrangements for her own flight to Beverly Hills. If Dylan wanted to play games, well, no one could play a game better than Valerie Malone.
Sorry Dylan, but you've never made anything easy for anyone, it's time you get a little taste of your own medicine.
I for one have always wanted to witness the dynamic of Brenda and Val together because they would have been a force to be reckoned with. Two women that would have unaplogetically faced the obstacles of Beverly Hills together without fear and always with strength and grace.
Im sorry if anyone disagrees with my interpretation of Brenda's experiencein Senior year and Freshman year at CU. But it was quite obvious to me that everyoneturned their backs on her, including her own brother and even Dylan for a time. The dynamics of the gang were outrageous and they glossed over so much disgusting behavior and feelingsof betrayal.
Don't worry. This is a B/D reunion story but there's a lot of damage to repair, and a lot of story to be told. Val's coming to BH, and things are going to get fun. Stick with me. :)