Chapter 3:
Exactly 35 minutes later, Vegeta and Whis arrived in front of Capsule Corp. The tall yellow dome gleamed in the sun, and he could vaguely hear the mechanical sounds coming from his home. Bulma or her father were probably working on another big project.
"Well, shall we go get some ramen?" Whis said.
The two walked inside the building. Vegeta didn't feel his son's ki, which meant he was probably off doing something stupid with Kakarot's spawn. He did sense his wife's ki though on the other side of the building, with a smaller (though not by much for now) one right in her arms. Vegeta smiled a little. Even at an infantile age, he could sense how strong his daughter was going to be.
They continued walking until Vegeta felt Bra's ki significantly spike up and so did Bulma's. Heart dropping, he raced to the living room and arrived within seconds, finding his family being tortured with Yamcha's attempts at making silly faces.
"Goochy-goochy-goo!" Yamcha said, sticking his tongue out and rolling his eyes. This only made Bra whimper and cry out, utterly horrified.
"Yamcha, quit it! You're obviously scaring her!" Bulma yelled.
"Aw relax B, Bra just has to get used to Uncle Yamcha!"
"But you look so stupid doing it," Bulma sighed, shaking her head in embarrassment. How she used to date this guy, OR even be his friend sometimes was beyond her.
Yamcha, with the kindest of intentions, kept trying to make Bra laugh, but unfortunately it only had the opposite effect. And it also didn't help that the prince of all Saiyans had about enough of this guy constantly bringing his daughter to tears and making his wife feel uncomfortable.
Which only led to one thing: Super Saiyan Blue.
In a split second, Vegeta held Yamcha up by the collar of his shirt, Bulma was in between them trying to convince Vegeta to let go, and Bra laughed with clapping hands because her dad's angry face just looked so silly. Whis arrived at the living room, widening his eyes to the scene. "Oh my."
"So, you think, weakling, it's okay to make my daughter cry with your incessant stupidity?" Vegeta bit out.
Yamcha tried in vain to get out of the Saiyan's grip, but he was only able to glare at Vegeta for being overly dramatic. Bulma attempted to diffuse the situation. "Vegeta let him go, Yamcha doesn't mean anything by it. Even though you're totally right in the stupidity department."
"Hey!" Yamcha gasped out. "I take offense to that!"
"And now you're going to take offense to my fist going through your torso," Vegeta growled.
The group started arguing even more, with Whis rolling his eyes in minor annoyance. Humans. "I'll… just make myself useful in the kitchen," he called out, hoping to step away from the situation.
"Oh Whis, be a dear and take Bra! Kay, thanks!-VEGETA STOP THAT!" Bulma said in one breath.
"Humans…" Whis muttered underneath his breath as he picked up the small, blue-haired girl and carried her out.
The bickering of the three would've continued on forever, if it wasn't for another guest appearing in the room. "Hey, what's going on here?"
Vegeta looked towards the other spiky-haired Saiyan. "None of your concern."
"Ugh, hi Goku. Vegeta's just being a stupid ass jerk for no reason, and Yamcha's just being a stupid ass for no reason," Bulma poetically explained, earning outcries from both her former and current lovers.
Goku shrugged. This wasn't an unusual thing. "Well, good thing Vegeta turned Blue, or else I wouldn't have been able to use my Instant Transmission."
"Hmph, why Kakarot? Did you finally figure out how much of a fool you are this time?" Vegeta responded, at least putting Yamcha down but not letting go.
"Huh? What do you mean?" Bulma asked, always ready to hear the newest piece of gossip.
"Well, actually Bulma you might be able to help since you're a girl," Goku said.
"Oh, well sure. What's up?"
Vegeta chuckled. "Oh this should be good." After their earlier spar, he was very eager to see Kakarot's spirit broken. But he was then blindsided by a hardy punch from Yamcha, which effectively released Vegeta's hold on him. "Why you–"
"Thanks Bulma," Goku started as he sat down on the sofa, not even interested in the current brawl happening only a few feet away from him. "I'm just so confused right now. Vegeta and I were training on Lord Beerus' planet right? And then Lord Beerus asked us to get him ramen. Then Vegeta agreed to go home because he said your shrill voice would've made his ears bleed from being gone too long–"
"Vegeta!" Bulma glared daggers towards her husband and his earlier insult.
"Hmph! After I'm done punching the lights out of Yamcha, you're next Kakarot."
"Anyways, so I could tell that Vegeta wanted to stay on the planet longer to train, so I told him that all he has to do is give you a divorce. Then Lord Beerus started yelling again about wanting ramen–"
"Wait, wait, wait, wait! … Goku… what did you just say?" Bulma said, her voice exasperated and threatening.
"Lord Beerus wanted some ramen–can't blame him though, ramen sounds great right about now if you have any–"
"Not THAT Goku…. What. You said. Before that," Bulma repeated her question through gritted teeth, her body now shaking.
"Hmm… oh, that he should give you a divorce." Goku replied casually.
"Huh. Okay, thank you for clarifying Goku," Bulma said sweetly all of a sudden. She got up, walking out of the living room. "Goku, just sit tight please,"she called out before the doors fully closed behind her.
"Uh… Okay…" Goku looked to the other two men in the room, who had stopped their fighting as soon as he mentioned the word "divorce." Vegeta especially was shocked. He had imagined his woman to slap Goku right across the face, but here she was smiling at the idiot as if he was merely talking about the weather.
The living room door opened, with a still-smiling Bulma. "Oh Goku…"
Looking at her, his face turned to absolute horror as she revealed a heavily loaded machine gun from behind her back and aimed it directly at him. Bulma fired every single bullet at him before he could say anything, making Goku scream in pain. "Ouch, ouch, ouch!" he wailed, feeling as if he was getting pinched every single second from all sides of his body. It briefly reminded him of the time when he was a kid and she had used her Uzi on him after she had… revealed a specific body part to Master Roshi.
Even when the machine gun had run out of bullets and Goku had thought he was safe, he instead was faced with something much, much worse: a full-blown Bulma-forced falcon punch right to the face.
"WHAT. THE. FUCK. WERE. YOU. THINKING!" Bulma screeched at him, continuing her physical assault, while Vegeta and Yamcha watched across the room in fear. "I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU WOULD EVEN SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT YOU FREAKING JERK! I OUGHT TO SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS, YOUR HEAD WILL EXPLODE!"
"Ouch, Bulma–OUCH!" Goku said, taking every single one of her punches and kicks. Though, he had NO idea what made her so angry. "I–ouch!-don't know–what I did–OUCH–wrong!"
"Goku! You CANNOT be that dense!" Bulma cried, still dishing slaps to her best friend's face.
"Uh Bulma… I think he really is that dense," Yamcha said sheepishly, hoping to not accidentally get in the crossfire of her wrath, but wanting to grant Goku a breather from Bulma's onslaught.
"WHAT? Goku… do you know what a divorce is!?" Bulma asked.
"Of course I–"
"Kakarot, you clearly do NOT know," Vegeta piped in.
"Ugh GOKU. Why… How… WHAT the hell even happened for you to have the word 'divorce' in your vocabulary?" the blue-haired scientist yelled, readying another punch.
"Because Chi-Chi asked me to give her a divorce so I did."
Bulma immediately stopped her oncoming punch, instead gasping out loud. Yamcha's eyes also widened with this information, while Vegeta only harrumphed. "What… Chi-Chi said that? Goku, listen to me! What did Chi-Chi exactly tell you?"
Goku frowned, as he started to have a weird feeling in his stomach. "Before I went to Lord Beerus' planet to train, Chi-Chi had asked me for a divorce. She said that if I really wanted to train any time, I just needed to sign this piece of paper. And I saw her holding up the Divorce to me… Um, what's wrong…?" His voice faltered as Bulma looked at him with eyes wide and her mouth hanging open.
"Goku…" Bulma said slowly, "Did you sign the paper?"
Goku gulped, not liking his friends' reactions at all. "Yeah…?"
"Oh… Oh no," Bulma shook her head, her mind racing a mile a minute at the moment. How did she not know about this? How did Chi-Chi not tell her? How could Goku just agree to a divorce? Then again… While Goku's heart was always in the right place, she wasn't surprised that he had no idea what he had just agreed to do. And now, she was tasked with explaining this uncomfortable situation to him. "Goku… Uh, when Chi-Chi asked for a divorce, it meant… Um… It meant…" Kami, this is so hard, it's gonna kill him!
Yamcha spoke up, also feeling incredibly sorry for one of his oldest friends. "Goku… a divorce means that… you aren't together anymore. Your marriage is over."
"WHAT!? That… That can't be right!" Goku said, standing up from the shock of it.
"It's true," Vegeta said with a small smirk on his face. "Guess your woman finally saw reason."
"Vegeta!" Bulma yelled at him, abashed from how cruel he was being.
"Chi-Chi… Why would she want a divorce? I… I don't want one!" Goku felt his body shake, as everything started making sense. Chi-Chi did say that a divorce meant giving each other space, and with that he could train however long he wanted to. But he had thought that it was like all those other times when he had to leave, and he didn't know it meant never seeing her again! One-by-one, things fell into place. Why Vegeta and Bulma reacted so harshly to his suggestion of a divorce. How Lord Beerus even mentioned his marriage in the first place.
The tall Saiyan felt absolutely sick. And cold. "I… I have to find Chi-Chi." Not wasting any more time, he brought his two fingers to his forehead and disappeared.
Silence filled the room, with no one moving a muscle.
"Well now Vegeta, I think we're ready to go!" Whis sang happily, entering the room with a pile of ramen cups in one arm and a giggling Bra in the other. He looked around the room, sensing the tension. "Hm. Did I miss anything?"