Nana being an Anatomy savage.
Nana: *thinking* You'd think my body wouldn't react in such a negative way, but yet here I am trying to focus too hard on other peoples stupidity.
Melton: Are you good?
Nana: yeah, but are the patients that come in here just hitting their heads the wrong way? Or is their frontal lobe just a massive walking "hit me" sign?
Part 2
Nana: my nasal has been bothering me all day-
Owen: Why can't you say nose like everyone else on this planet?
Nana: because I don't want to be like everyone else on this planet. Thank you very much.
Owen: ok I get you want to be different and dependent on yourself because you believe in feminism-
Nana: sorry, I didn't know feminism was "existing as your own self," let me reword it to your "non-feminism" ways, I don't want to be you. (walks away)
Part 3
Nana: Hey Austin? What exam do you have today?
Austin: some Oral exam I have to study for.
Nana: …are you studying the structure of a mouth?
Austin: (looks at them) no…not that oral exam.
Part 4
Melton: send the reinforcements!!!
Natasha: Do you want us to send the auxiliary?
Nana: *chuckles* they'll smell like BO.
Everyone: (looks at them)
Nana: (looks up) sorry, it was a joke-
Vitma: my gosh, send me your joke list-
Nana: I got you, plus to be fair, I would be surprised if Auxiliary and Axillary were similar due to the amount of problems they all have.
Part 5
Nana: Dr Palmar, Oh how I had crushed on you for the longest time, why, oh why, must you be some tv show character and not some real person that I could've married?
Piggsly: (looks at them with concern)
Nana: *sighs* such sadness
(another time)
Piggsly: You need to clean the dishes when we get home, do you understand? (looks at Nana)
Nana: arne't you being a bit too Crural?
Piggsly: please stop using body parts as a pun-
Nana: yeah, but it's a lot more fun when you fall for them and accept my pouts.
Piggsly: clean the dishes Or I will take your cadaver privileges.
Nana: Who knew I was going to be stopped by the stricter police.
(another time)
Nana: I need to get to my classes at the college Piggy!!! Put the pedal to the metal, Or I swear I will run your grandmother's grave over with my Cadalac!!!
Piggsly: Homio Sapien I am driving as fast as I can within reason, it is not my fault you can't wake up on time, Darn it!!!
(another time)
Nana: Piggy? Is it just me or is your femoral looking absolutely juicy right now?
Piggsly: …
Richy: I really don't want to see you flirting it's weird-
Piggsly: imagine how I feel.
Richy: you married them, you didn't have to, but you married them.
Part 6
Piggsly: I know you don't like my parents, but they invited me to church with them, and you are going to be nice-
Nana: But your parents suck the joy out of a lot of things.
Piggsly: be nice.
(3 minutes into the service)
Jina: so, have you thought about accepting the Lord into your heart?
Nana: Yes I have, I have come to terms with the fact that not everyone is someone I have to like, but I don't have to be rude to them and their beliefs.
Jina: you know, you should, you'll die with a halo over your head-
Nana: I'd rather my Hallux to be on my foot thank you very much.
Jina: That is disrespectful!!! That's like telling our people that you want to kick Jesus in his backside.
Nana: well then He better watch out.
Jina: (gasps)
Piggsly: (face palms)
Nana: you don't want to do that, your palm will dent your frontal lobe, and you might act like your mother. I'd miss telling you jokes and have you actually take the time to understand me.
Part 7
Richy: Hey, can I carpool with you?
Nana: Yeah, you can carpal.
Richy: (looks at them concerned) …?
Nana: (looks at him with a deadpan expression)
Richy: Are you ok?
Nana: Of course I am.
Part 8
Loni: Look, I made a broccoli-sorus.
Madi: I made a zucchini-Sourus.
Kiki: I made a Jacko-sorus.
Nana: *smiles wickedly* Hey kids? Do you want to see a Brachial-Sourus?
Piggsly: no!!! No they would not.
Nana: darn…do you want to see the one on my fore-arm? I call it Antebrachial-sourus-
Piggsly: no!!!
Nana: boo!!! You suck.
Part 9
Nana: Scapular!!! You're gonna be Scapular!!
You'll pull your shoulder blades
I'll have to give you ades
So sit back don't you worry,
I really don't mean to be gory,
But your Scapular!!! And you're gonna be great!!
Part 10
Nana: chin up my dear friends and family, your mental health might get the better of you at times, but I promise that if you don't scrape the ground while doing push ups you'll see improvement in your health physically, and you won't have a bleeding chin…
Everyone: …
Nana: it means stop smacking your face on the ground while doing push ups, you look stupid, and your acting-
Louis: stupid?
Nana: no, that's been like that since I've known half of you, you act like a mother needs to call a psych ward.
Cecil and the parking police incident
Cecil: (stops at a car and gets out to check it)
Denzel: hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, whoa, whoa, what are you doing?
Cecil: giving this car a ticket. Why? This your's?
Denzel: yes that's my car, and I thought a black person to a black person, you'd save me some grace.
Cecil: I don't care if you're the darkest man on the block, I mean you can be like the darkest night without a single moon out to shine a person's path, but no matter what I'm putting a ticket on your car, and it already went to the system.
Denzel: Come on, let it slide just this once beautiful.
Cecil: I am both married, and I am tired of random criminals calling me beautiful just to get out of a problem they put themselves in.
Olric: Oh come on now baby girl, allow my best bud to slide just this once, we promise to not wrong you again boo.
Cecil: and I can beat the black right off of you. If you can't hear the words I told your friend, how the hell did you pass second grade?
Olric: Excuse me?
Cecil: Unless you can beat a fight you slide into without knowing the details of, I suggest you back up and turn yourself around. (glares him down)
Olric: Listen to me, you have no idea who you're dealing with.
Cecil: And you think you do?
Olric: …!!
Cecil: What happened to the confidence I saw last? Or was that your last words of confidence behind a fake facade-
Olric: (pulls out a weapon) now do you think I have a fake facade-
Cecil: (stands at the barrel of the weapon) a man who hides behind the comforts of something that can hurt someone outside of self defense, is just as cowardice as their persona. So tell me something Olric Stacey Danvers, are you willing to be taken down to hell with your "best friend?" or would you like a second chance?
Olric: (backs up) I…I-
Denzel: (takes the thing and blows out the tires on the car)
Cecil: (punches Denzel in the face and knocks him out) tell Denzel that if my meter maids car isn't fixed fully up to par and brought back to my station at Sector 12, I will come to his front door after I blow out his tires and knock the black off his body that he has no choice but to be the moon, and then he can help me with some indefinite community service if he so wishes to evade paying for his mistakes. Also, Olric, send my best wishes to your mother and his mother. I had a lovely dinner with them last week and they are such wonderful women, I really do wonder how they breed such undignified men. (walks away)
When there is a couple goal
Val: richy? Would you mind if I at some point asked you to act as my date to get a free couples discount?
Richy: no, I love myself too much to start dating someone that looks like a rag doll that got chewed up and spit out at birth.
Val: I don't want to be caught dead with a scrunched up pomeranian that looked like they got hit by a bus and needed to get their defects amputated, but their owner was too lazy and spent money on cheap booze and expensive clubs to make themselv's feel better about their sad useless life. So quite acting like you have swag and bougie and benefit us both while we can get our grocery items half off.
Richy: fine…uge the things I do for people who can clap back.
Val: I know, I am a blessing.
Richy: You're more of a curse word and a hay penny.
Val: And you're more of a second thought and a mens after shave. Do not test me.
(now)
Val: it's not fair that you found yourself some hot dude and I'm still single and can't get a discount at Leo Lots anymore.
Richy: I'll still be your ride or die boo.
Val: no you can't, everyone knows that you and Melton are dating-
Richy: really?
Val: (turns on the news)
Reporter: Breaking news, after our cities beloved captain had been saved by what appears to be his hot wife, people have been raving about the captains mystery woman when they both showed a demonstration of their love-
Richy: hot?
Val: ok house wife calm down before we rush you to the hospital due to a heart attack.
Reporter: We have been broadcasted all around the city, and will now be asking people's opinion on who this short hottie might be.
Randa: (chuckles) she called you short-
Richy: and a hottie. Girl shut up, I am hot and people are definitely bothered.
Reporter: What do you think Mr Bricen?
Bricen: I for one, disapprove of PDA. I think that we should all ban it immediately-
Reporter: were looking for your opinion on the captain's new lover.
Bricen: new lover? I thought he was married!!
Shelly: (sees the camera and runs up to it) I would like to say a few words on the matter!!
Reporter: And you are?
Shelly: Shelly Goodie
Reporter: well Shelly, what was your thought on the new captain's wife?
Shelly: um, I would like to say thank you to my family and friends for getting me this far in life, I came to a realization that being drunk isn't what I wanted in my life…so I decided to get sober-
Reporter: um, no, no, this is not that kind of question-
Shelly: Then what was it that you wanted?
Reporter: I was wondering if you had an opinion on the relationship between the Captain of the FALCON Force. And whether you find it strange how no one knew of his wife's existence till now.
Shelly: Can you repeat that, cause I zoned out…
Reporter: why?
Shelly: you lost me at I…
Reporter: …how about our mayor? Any words of guidance you have on the situation?
Nova: Are you feeling a bit too old? Well then you probably are!!! But I have a solution to your problems!!! You must try our new Aging Beauty cream!!! It can turn your skin from this (grabs an old woman) to this!!! (holds up a picture of herself) do you want to be as luxurious as me? Well then you can without any problem or jail time-
Everyone in the precinct: that person sure is fixated on you and Melton.
Richy: Yeah, it's just sad and creepy…
Ripper: (comes in with melton and takes one look at the TV) isn't that your creepy stalker ex?
Melton: oh hey…yeah that is…what's she doing out of jail?
Richy: I question your taste in lover's-
Griffin: it's funny you should say that-?
Everyone: (just looks at him)
Melton: (dead point glares at him)
Griffin: I mean…I'm not going to talk about that anymore than I should…
Being a Political Figure
Richy: Melton, If I was the King of some other worldly nation, what would you do?
Melton: I'd fear for the people.
Richy: ok…what if I was the president?
Melton: the nation crumbled and now you're looking to crumble another nation? What are you, Julius Caesar?
Richy: would you shut up and focus on what good I would do, instead of listing the negatives?
Melton: …how can I get to the positives when the negatives are beyond help?
Richy: …ok fine, what would you do if you were the king or the president?
Melton: well I-
Joseph: I would weep for the kingdom and its people, and cry buckets of tears at the devastation and loss of such a great nation under the tyranny of a terrible leader.
Melton: Nobody asked for your opinion Joseph.
Benjamin: if it helps, I can confirm the terrible outcome of the nations if the two of you were to allegedly rule a kingdom, but if it makes you feel better about yourself, the kingdom would prosper greatly with your intertwined hands of marriage, much like the French Monarch with Louis and Marie Antwanett.
Melton: …which means-
Joseph: Ben…I don't think you should answer that…
Benjamin: Why not Joey? You talked your talk, now it's my turn to talk.
Joseph: no, no, Ben, I have a death wish, you don't…and I am telling you, for the sake of all of your flexible lives…that you should not answer that question.
Melton: no, no, Joey, Don't help Ben out of his situation, I am very curious as to what he has to say…go ahead Ben…speak.
Benjamin: …*chuckles* you know…nevermind, I think Joey is right-
Melton: speak.
Benjamin: I think this idea…because-
Clark: You're a sack of sore losers in Hamilton's accurate recognition of "two lovers heads in the basket, would you like to take it out and ask. It?"
(melton in the background cat and dog fighting with Clark)
Benjamin: dang dude, I thought I was a goner.
Joseph: no kidding bro, I was scared for ya at that moment.
Benjamin: How did I manage to get out of that?
Joseph: It's a good thing Clark came by while he still did.
Richy: you have K-drama and you have America's got Reality TV, but German drama is a step up to what most people don't see.
Family Road trip
Allen: Morning everyone, I think you will like what I have come up with.
Nia: That sounds bad.
Allen: Trust me, it's good.
Lorain: Are we setting someone on fire?
Allen: no-
Lance: How does that happen?
Lorain: you just set someone on fire.
Amadan: no…but like…how? Like what are-
Lorain: douse someone in gasoline or oil, and set them on fire with a match.
Amadan: …dad? Don't give Lorain anything that could kill a person…or a lighter.
Allen: relax Amadan, I wouldn't give Lorain anything that could potentially end in a person's inevitable doom.
Louis: So what exactly are you going to do?
Abu: oh my gosh…dad is going to make us rob a bank.
Abigail: really? That's your first question?
Abu: No, think about it, dad always wants us to have a family bonding time. And what better way than to bond being in the family business. Or starting one.
Victoria: Ayu? Come get your child he is wanting to rob a bank-
Ayu: At least my kids are interested in not running over my dog
Victoria: I said sorry 5 times. What more do you want from me?
Ayu: I don't know, another dog?
Victoria: I'm not going to buy you another dog.
Ayu: Then you can sit there and feel my wrath.
Victoria: Maybe if you did all that brooding on your time, in your own house you wouldn't be in this mess.
Ayu: for a mom who claims to know what your kids do 24 '7, 365 days a year, and 12 months, you sure are blind to what they actually do, which is run over people's dogs and then not pay for the damage.
Victoria: Your dog was the embodiment of the diablo.
Ayu: your kids are the embodiment of satan, lucifer, and the antichrist.
Victoria: My kids are humans and sweet little angels.
Ayu: oh? Your kids are angels, (pulls up a Video of the kids cutting the principal's tupe, and supergluing sticky notes to it) you really want to continue that lie, so that you can sleep better knowing that your monsters might have a soft spot for their mother?
Victoria: …!!
Everyone: …
Allen: anyways, as I was saying, my idea is-
Hiyana: are you-
Allen: no, it does not include anything with fire, or bank robbery, or whatever the rest of you are trying to formulate.
Everyone: …ok?
Allen: We're going on a road trip!!!
Everyone: …(groans) why? no…I can't do it again, the cabin trip hurt me mentally and physically, bro give me a break, kids I popped them out of my body, but I don't want them attached to me by my hip.
Hiyana: You're kidding…right? I Carried them for 9 months, I might knock them out for 9 years.
Louis: yeah, we know your a child abuser-
Hiyana: shut up!!!
Louis: eh…sorry…sorry ma'am!!!
Ayu: Yeah, Allen, we don't have enough cars to take everyone on our annual family road trip…and I don't want to do that…again.
Ramanda: yeah, my car got impounded at the cop show last week, and the man said it'll take some time before it gets back onto its wheels.
Ayu: I'm sorry again…
Ramanda: You're fine, me amore, I don't mind being the passenger princes when we go to the grocery store.
Ayu: well..I don't mind having you as my-
Allen: ok!!! I solved that problem-
Richy: you solved it…or you paid someone else to solve it for you? You're really good at that.
Louis: Really good, really true.
Hiyana: shut up Louis-
Richy: fix your attitude Hiyana. And also shut up-
Hiyana: Excuse you?
Richy: You heard me loud and clear.
Allen: *clears throat* (glares at him) …if you all could take a look outside of the window, you will see 3 large and expensive beautiful looking buses.
Everyone: … yeah…
Allen: I noticed it would be stupid of us to go on our annual family trip without some form of new ways of traveling, so I bought the whole family buses that I sanded down with Mike, Mr Phillips as most of you will address him as, and cleaned the inside upgraded it to have a nice kitchen in one of them, and bunk beds with privacy in the other two…so now you know that your old man can be nice.
Louis: You're cheap, and you wanted to not be cheap for once in your life.
Hiyana: Louis!!!
Louis: …I meant…huh…so where are the buses?
Allen: what?
Victoria: Yeah, you said there are buses, like 3 of them, and I think I would have noticed buses being outside in the garage on my way over here, but I don't see them…unless they are transparent, which would be pretty cool.
Nia: or just a part of your fantasies.
Adah: First of all, I am sorry that he's been diagnosed with semi-schizophrenia, and second how can you all not be thanking him for trying to be a good father?
Allen: First of all I have night terrors.
Victoria: who would've figured.
Allen: And second of all…they were right there…I swear on my dead grandma, they were right there.
Victoria: It's ok Allen, we don't expect you to be a very good father all the time. I mean take a look at us were not good parents most of the tim-
Richy: You're not good parents period.
Victoria: …Richy?
Richy: yes?
Victoria: Is there a reason as to why you have such a mouth on you to someone you need to respect?
Richy: the moment you took my father away from me was the moment I lost all respect for you.
Victoria: I said I was sorry…
Richy: I'm not…also your beloved kiddy banters and friends were driving the missing buses you were presenting us with down the street.
Allen: When was this?
Richy: about 15 minutes ago.
Allen: No!!! No!!!! (runs outside)
Emergency? Or nah?
Sonic: hmmm…is this a distress call or should we call it in?
Stork: yeah…I don't know if the situation calls for the CG quite yet…
Sonic: yeah…it's not a big deal, I mean no one is hurt, we're only floating in the water thanks to our crafty raft, and the ship isn't in that much of a problem.
Stork: yeah…
Sonic: yup…
Stork: …maybe we should call it in, I mean our ship is on fire and flipped over on its side and it's sinking…
Sonic: yeah…but where are we gonna get a radio that isn't melting with the ship?
Stork: hmm…maybe Aries loves me enough to know that I'm missing.
Sonic: What is she going to do, use her "marriage intuition" and know when to get you and find you?
Stork: Of course, marriage is all about instinct and intuition.
Sonic: It's also based on delusion and zero course of action.
Stork: You've never met my wife.
(some hours later)
Sonic: you know…I was really banking on your wife being here…I can't really rely on you anymore.
Stork: I'm not the one that didn't know how to make a quick decision to send out a distress before we ended up in this situation.
Sonic: I was not the one that was driving.
Making fun of romantic scenes.
Amanda: Hello, and welcome to the book club. I'm Amanda Fallen, and I'm the book club leader.
Nancy: Who died and made her queen?
Amanda: Hello, Nancy.
Nancy: ooh…her majesty noticed me…how might I answer that?
Stork: I've never attended a book club before, but this…this drama is truly exquisite.
Sonia: yeah..um…why are you here at our book club?
Stork: Me and Aries agreed that we need to stop making fun of each other's interest, so to better understand how important our interests are we agreed to switch places for the week.
Richy: Oh my gosh, she didn't read the book.
Stork: no…she didn't.
BTB: I love the enthusiasm in your guy's love life, it must be so easy for you to be together through thick and thin, and you wonder when your show will come out on Netflix…or maybe the producers might turn it into a telenovela series.
Stork: What's wrong with him?
Richy: he got dumped.
Sonia: and rejected.
Richy: all in the same day.
Sonia: and he has been mellow the whole day.
Stork: kind of reminds me of Raymond-
Raymond: You will never see me so down over a woman I met 3 days ago.
Stork: That's fair.
Amanda: I see some new feces…welcome.
Nancy: don't prey on my friend hoochie poochie. I will not allow your English elegant accent ploof your way over here in my direction, I would rather you stand 6 football fields away and look elsewhere that won't contaminate my friends and give me chlamydia.
Amanda: ok mrs cowgirl, go find your scarecrow out in your large field, and chase after your hopes and dreams, cause I'm not going anywhere. To be fair I too would rather you not breath your honky tonk y'hah giddy up and woah a nilly into my direction, it might infest my refined tastes.
Nancy: What's your preferred refined tastes? Disgusting 1000 a piece finger food?
Amanda: Petri dishes? Why yes, I do have a refined pallet.
Nancy: refined? you mean you fight for vegans and herbivore humans, and get offended for other races who don't need defending from white races?
Amanda: Excuse you?
Nancy: my case in point.
Amanda: I don't have time to fight with a hillbilly know it all. Ok, can people give me a summary of the book?
Sonia: one of the most errotic books to live on this planet.
Richy: Yeah, no, this was a very interesting book that did not complete my palette.
Sonia: But, good news is, we can talk about the corny parts that would make for a perfect discusion.
Richy: precisely…like this one line "he looked at me with hunger in his eyes…"
BTB: total simp.
Sonia: defiant simp.
Dotty: admittedly a simp.
Stork: I don't know what is going on…so I'm going to agree.
Dotty: ok, what about this one "he growled"
BTB: ok, zootopia pop off.
Amanda: This is highly inappropriate.
Dotty: You gave us the book.
Amanda: I wanted you to read the book as a whole.
Sonia: The book as a whole is a romance novel with back bone breaking and a lot of wall scaring, mirror shattering, body pinning, stair ruining, and a lot of coach and car and house burning.
Richy: In short this book is too errotic.
Amanda: ok…that's all you had to say-
Richy: "I own you"
Flanco: how dare you speak to me in such ways, my ancestors fought to end slavery you buffoon.
Richy: "he reached into his pockets and pulled out keys, I didn't know what it was he was going to do with them…but he had no intentions of using them to release me from the chains that held me together"
Dotty: sir!!! You speak to me as if I am your property, and now you won't release me from the tower dungeons? I'm starting to believe you have other priorities clouding your mind.
Flanco: "he slit open the throat of the enemy, and turned to me with a hopeful smile."
Stork: awe…sweet…not innocent-
Flanco: "but a smirk ran across his face, and the words of 'what'll you do to repay me?"
Richy: back you growling Zootopian dog, back!!! I say, Back. stop being weird for 6 minutes, that's all I ask, plus I'm married!!! I am a taken man.
BTB: "on your knees" he said.
Sonia: I have a Dagger of venom, it's sharp, and if I get on my knees I will stab you in your knees with them, and as you cry to the realms of the heavens I will slit your throat where you may see Hell.
BTB: "I have been watching you while you sleep."
Sonia: I have called the police, I had expected you to respect my restraining order the first time.
BTB: you see? This is our topic of problems.
Amanda: Yes, I can see that.
Madalious Check up
Richy: hey gramps.
Louis: sup Gramps.
Lance: sup old man.
Allen: Hey pops.
Walter: To what do I owe the pleasure of having some of my family visit me in my own home?
Lori: We heard you didn't eat while out of the country on your photography trip, you even passed out and went to the hospital there…don't think I don't know, you keep forgetting that I'm your emergency contact.
Walter: I don't forget to kick you off, I want to make sure if I'm on my deathbed, that you were the one to put me there with your nagging…and cooking.
Lori: I care about you way too much to have you dying on the family. So I brought you some of my homemade chili. You said you liked it right?
Walter: (leans in to Allen) You know what I hate about your ma?
Allen: what?
Walter: her cooking, she's trying to kill me.
Elementary School Vs Middle school fiasco
Melton: mama!!! I don't want to go out there…what if they don't like me…
Dotty: my dear, you shouldn't worry about lower, less rich people whose parents are not a part of the school board, we are important. They are not. Now go out there, and if they give you problems all you have to do is buy their stuff.
Melton: But what if they bully me? And they don't have anything to buy off of them? What should I do then?
Dotty: you tell me, and just let mommy handle it. Now, please go, and enjoy your young life.
(with Richy)
Richy: bye.
Allen: Bye honeybee!!! (sighs) look at him, soon he'll be a highschooler.
Luka: And he'll ignore you more.
Allen: wait!! Richy, do you want me to give you a hug before you leave?
Richy: …what is wrong with you?
Allen: oh…
Richy: I don't want my friends to know who I am related to.
Luka: *laughs* look at that-
Richy: I don't know why you're laughing. Your bud ugly, at least my father has some class and some good looks, you're just an ogre in comparison.
Luka: …rude…
Allen: *chuckles* How about it Louis? Amadan? You want to give your pops a hug?
Louis: I'd rather be infested by a hive of wasps and be known as "rash boy" for the rest of my life than hug anyone at any point and time.
Allen: …I love your enthusiasm…and tenacity.
Amadan: …I'll give you a hug, only if you bring your cool car next time.
Allen: I don't have a cool car-
Amadan: precisely.
Allen: oh…ok…
Middle school.
Melton: ok…drop me off at that corner.
Dotty: why?
Melton: because why not?
Dotty: because it's not safe.
Melton: I'll be fine, I don't want people seeing me with my bullying smothering mom.
Dotty: "smothering mom?" I don't smother you. I protect you from vile creatures known as uncouth, uncultured, and random poor people's children.
Melton: yeah you kind of are a smotherer. You tell parents how great I am, and then bar fight with the other moms if they disagree with you, you're a monster and smother, people are scared of you, and I don't want to break my promise to the other kids.
Dotty: What promise?
Melton: that I wouldn't bring you along.
Dotty: and why not?
Melton: because I don't want to have to tell the principal why my mother was rough housing with a 12 year old boy on the playground.
Dotty: And here I thought you were embarrassed of me.
Melton: no, no, I fear for my friends lives.
(with Richy)
Lukus: ok, we're at your school…
Richy: (looks at his school) I'm not going to like this place.
Lukus: why not? Wouldn't it be fun to enjoy the life of the party? Be a part of the next step to being closer to adulthood?
Richy: I'm gonna be mocked, bullied, and tormented in that school.
Lukus: I'm certain no one will touch you if you cause trouble, and act like you always do…and because your siblings went there, people will be double traumatized. Like dad says "first impression is always important."
Richy: ok…if you say so.
Part 2
(Not even 6 hours into the day)
Allen: I am so sorry that I'm late, I've been working later than usual, and only got your message when I had time to look at my email…so…I only skimmed through the email…what happened exactly?
Liona: yes…hello…so um…your kid went around terrorizing the other kids in school…and teachers.
Allen: oh don't be too affected by his words I'm….principal…(looks around on her desk for a name tag)
Liona: principal Ellred.
Allen: right, Madam Ellred, I get my son can be a handful, heck I have a lot of them who are handfuls, but I don't think you need to call me up in my busy schedule to meet with you in person about a few people's lives being affected by some 11 year old kids words, if they have been a teacher in a middle school for more than a year and still didn't get the memo that middle schoolers are merciless tart bags and walking word hazards by now, I think some of them need to go back to teaching preschoolers, cause any higher education and the school system will need to higher based on how well a person can handle a 6th grader.
Liona: your son was found in a fight-
Allen: did my son start the fight?
Liona: no-
Allen: Then my son was the one defending himself.
Liona: he started the fight through verbal words and provoked the other students, our policy has a big no bullying policy-
Allen: your policy is stupid, if my son started it with verbal words then you can put him in detention for insulting a kid, but to call me down here to tell me that my son didn't start a fight with his fists is stupid, when you could've handled it by putting him into a classroom and making him think about his words. Or the kids could just use their brain and realize that starting a fight isn't worth it, since after all it's wasting their first day of school, and their parents tax dollars, time and resources.
Liona: they are in middle school.
Allen: and? They know how to read and write, and they know not to poop on the floor, look Liona your treating kids in this trash heap as if they are dogs, they don't bark, but they do bite, so if your going to treat them like little puppies, you shouldn't get the parents involved in this and let them handle it like middle schoolers.
Liona: how would you handle them?
Allen: Look, if you're going to treat them like dogs, then you should let them hash it out like dogs. And that is by letting them off the leash, and bidding on who would win in the dog fight…but if they are human beings, then you should give them proper punishments like a human being without pulling the adults out of their busy schedule to talk about a kiddy fight that could have been handled very simply.
Liona: don't you want to know what your son did? And punish him accordingly?
Allen: no, because why would I do that? You're the adult here, so asking another adult what to do in this situation makes you look weak with power.
Richy: I told you he would be giving you a lesson.
Allen: (glares at Richy) you shut up.
Richy: (sticks his tongue out at him)
Allen: (sticks his tongue out at him back) Madam, if this was your kid and he was in school misbehaving, wouldn't it be on the school, who is giving an educated lesson and it gets interrupted by kids who want to brawl, would you A) come to school where there are already adults present and smack your kid halfway across the room to learn his lesson? Or would you B) let the adult that is already in the room inflict the "policies" of giving him OSS or ISS, and make him learn what it means to disrupt the lesson and handle your kid appropriately at home…?
Liona: …your kid gets this blase attitude from you.
Allen: yeah, and I know it might get him into trouble (looks at Richy) but at least he knows the importance of the lesson.
Liona: take your kid and get out of my school, he may return to the school in 10 days.
Allen: ok, thank you.
Part 3
(in the car)
Allen: so? What did you do to get yourself looking like a trailer ran over you?
Richy: some guy didn't like me standing up for himself, and others.
Allen: What happened?
Richy: Really weird, this German dude was letting this big fat boy insult and berate him, he even let the fat boy steal his money, I mean at first I wanted to keep my head down.
Allen: So you were defending someone?
Richy: no, I was defending myself, because the fat boy came after my One Piece hoodie, when I passed the German dude to get my food.
Allen: What did this dude say?
Richy: he said, "hey anime lover, you like anime? I bet you're one of those weirdo geeks with no talent to back it up, slouching in the corner like an emo kid."
Allen: …and what did you say?
Richy: I said "hey, Big fat Greek Boy, I have no time for your tomfoolery and undignified slangs, If your going to insult and berate the best thing on the planet, you should be worth my time and effort to look at, cause compared to you this show has more views than your mom giving birth to one the most biggest pumpkins in the patch. That's probably why no one wanted to tap that, they feared that they're kid would look like you, so they settled for the charges against them for having patty caked with the ugliest married woman on the planet…they don't care if they might die in prison they just don't want to be related to the pumpkin king. Plus if you're going to steal people's money to buy some more food, you should go on a weight loss plan, skip the taco truck and buy the salad bar in bulk, I mean the size is probably bigger than the one they show on the halloween special, but even they had the right idea for the CGI special effects."
Allen: …and what about the German dude?
Richy: What about him? The guy ran away before I could give him back his money.
Allen: …you won the fight?
Richy: I mean yeah, I put the kid in a head lock with a chair and sat on him…
Allen: …do you still have the money?
Richy: no, I spent it on my food, for second helpings.
Allen: …It's the thought that counts.
an intro to being apart of Richy's Therapy
Richy: ok, Mrs Miriam, what seems to be the problem?
Miriam: I have been really down as of late…and I don't know what's come over me. Everyday I wake up really tired, and so over with doing anything interesting, I stop doing my daily stretches and I quite my job…I don't know what's wrong with me…I might have depression.
Richy: ok…what do you do at night?
Miriam: I binge watch movies and tick tock.
Richy: …every night?
Miriam: I mean…sometimes I watch youtube.
Richy: …every night?
Miriam: I also watch netflix, and Hulu…
Richy: right…so, I don't think you have depression.
Miriam: Oh? What makes you say that?
Richy: A lot of things, but I think I might know what your problem is.
Miriam: …uh huh?
Richy: You're just stupid and waste your time doing stupid things.
Miriam: I'm being productive.
Richy: right, watching things for half your life span and then complaining your entire existence isn't going anywhere, is being productive?
Miriam: what do I do?
Richy: You're an adult that is asking me, another adult, what you should do?
Miriam: You're my therapist, you're supposed to help me.
Richy: …you're like a sad little puppy whose owner dumped you on the side of the road for no apparent reason…it's so sad to look at…
Miriam: please?
Richy: …ok…for you I will help you, but first, sign this liability waiver.
Miriam: (signs it) ok…what next?
Richy: Wait.
Part 2
(what happened)
Miriam: (knocks on Richy's door) Mr Madalious? I know you're in there.
Richy: (drinking coffee, and listening to classical music)
Miriam: I would like my phone back.
Melton: (comes walking up the sidewalk to the house but stops) …
Miriam: (looks at Melton) hi…are you another patient to this man?
Melton: You can say that.
Miriam: good, I am going to need your help, you're his next appointment right?
Melton: I don't feel at ease to answer that.
Miriam: ah, either way, you are an ally in this, and you're going to help me locate my phone…our dear therapist took my phone as an experiment…and I must get it back. Someway somehow.
Melton: …as a patient I am not going to violate the trust that my therapist bestowed upon me by snooping around his house and violating his privacy.
Miriam: it's for a good cause…I think from one patient to another, that we should do a I scratch your back, and you scratch mine.
Melton: How old are you?
Miriam: I'm 25.
Melton: What do you want to do with your life?
Miriam: What do you mean?
Melton: You're wanting to throw away your life for a phone.
Miriam: That phone is my life, everything you can possibly have at your fingertips, in the palm of your hands grasping at the world's strings and knowing you have power…my phone give me power, and I intend to have it back…and you're going to help me, or so help me on the honor of Jesus's name, I am going to destroy your life, I will track you down, and find where you live and I will terrorize your family, you wife will crumble beneath my wicked ways,and your kids will lose what little life span they lived-.
Melton: …Ma'am there are two mistakes in that speech of yours.
Miriam: what?
Melton: first of all I don't have a wife, I have a husband, second of all, my kids are my everything, and don't start thinking just because you are a crazy women with a phone fetish, doesn't mean I will not destroy your life, and third, you can find where I live, but I too have recourse and if you try anything, I can have you in handcuffs faster than you can say "I."
Miriam: really? What are you?
Melton: (shows Miriam his badge) Chief of Police.
Miram: oh shoot…um…wait what is a chief of Police doing at therapy?
Melton: …this is my house…and I would kindly like it if you please get off, or I will have my dogs escort you off of my property.
Miriam: …but my phone…
Melton: I'll get your phone for you, if you don't ever step foot on my property, and you also don't tell anyone else where me and my husband live…thank you very much.
Miriam: You promise.
Melton: Only if you promise.
Miriam: thank you…
(about 5 seconds later)
Melton: ba-bye!!!! Don't ever come back!!! Or I will file a restraining order against you….Bye!!! (closes the door) …what is wrong with you?
Richy: She wanted my help, I'm surprised she went 5 hours without a phone, I thought she would crack by 2 minutes and come pounding at my door.
Melton: Meine Liebe, why does a patient know where we live?
Richy: …her mom tracked her phone…
Melton: …(puts a 20 in the divorce jar)...ok, here's what we're never going to do, take a patient's phone and-
Richy: (phone rings) yollo. What's popping…uh-huh? Yeah? Oh? That's terrible…yeah…ok..uh-huh? That's bad…womp womp my dude, that sounds like a "you" problem.
Melton: …who was that?
Richy: my patient you just saw was mad.
Melton: …about?
Richy: I put a shut down screen on her phone, so now she can't use anything without a password that only I know.
Melton: (sighs) I don't want to know anything more.