The Life of Sammy

by I'mABigBoyNow

Gravity Falls may seem like a normal town, but in reality, it holds some of the most powerful and dangerous secrets in the entire world. Sammy didn't expect much excitement when he first moved into Gravity Falls. But when he starts work at the Mystery Shack and meets Dipper and Mabel for the first time, he will soon realize one universal truth: life is always unpredictable.

9. Chapter 9: The Time Traveler's Pig

It was yet another big day at the Mystery Shack. The party that Stan hosted earlier turned out to be so successful that it wasn't long before the conman decided to take it one step further. He decided to host an entire fair, complete with game booths, prizes, and carnival food. It was probably the biggest and most ambitious plan that Stan had so far, but fortunately, it was already starting to pay off. It was early morning and people from town were already coming over. Stan was currently leading Mabel and Sammy around and showing them the fair.

"There she is, kids; the cheapest fair money can rent. I spared every expense," boasted Stan. "Wait, every expense? How do you know any of this is even safe, then?," Sammy asked worriedly. "Ah, don't worry, Sammy. This fair is completely safe. Trust me!," Stan reassured him. However, the moment he said those words, they all heard a familiar scream that was growing louder and louder. Then, a broken tram cart crashed right in front of them, with Dipper inside, petrified with fear. "Dipper?! Oh my gosh, are you okay?!," cried Sammy, running over to him. "I think the sky tram is broken. Also, most of my bones," said Dipper. "Ha ha, this guy," Stan said jokingly. Sammy quickly checked Dipper for any injuries, and was relieved to find none, which was absurdly miraculous. Then, he glared at Stan and crossed his arms. "Mister Pines, I hope you won't let something like this happen again," he growled. "Relax, Sammy," said Stan, rolling his eyes. "Dipper's a kid. I think it's good for kids to get a few bruises and scratches. Toughens them up, ya know?" Of course, that was not what Sammy wanted to hear. "Mister Pines!," he hissed through gritted teeth, narrowing his eyes. "B-but I can get Soos to fix up some of these rides and make them safer!," Stan said quickly, sweating bullets. Sammy glared at Stan for a while longer, then nodded. "Okay. I'll hold you to that promise, though," he said.

Stan sighed in relief, glad he was no longer on the receiving end of Sammy's ire. His overall opinion of Sammy was that he was a generally nice and calm kid, but there were a few times when Sammy was able to strike fear into Stan's heart with only a look, and considering everything that Stan went through and saw in the past, that was no easy feat. Sammy was kind and patient most of the time, but he could also show a mean streak if he wanted to.

"A-anyway, I got a job for you two," Stan said to the twins. "I printed up a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates. Go slap one on anything that looks like a lawsuit." He gave them a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates with an A+ printed on each of them. "Grunkle Stan, is that legal?," asked Mabel. "When there's no cops around, anything's legal!," replied Stan. As the twins left to put up the fake certificates, Sammy shook his head and sighed. "Mister Pines, with all due respect, you're going to get yourself in big trouble someday if you keep this up," he said warningly. "Ha! Only if I get caught, and I don't plan on letting that happen anytime soon!," Stan said confidently. Then, he turned around to face Soos, who was using a blowtorch on the handle of a nearby dunk tank. "Soos, how's that dunk tank coming along?," he asked. "Almost ready to go, Mr. Pines," said Soos. Stan walked over to the dunk tank and slapped his hand on the target as hard as he could. The seat inside the tank barely moved. "Ha, you got it rigged from here to Timbuktu! There's nothing on Earth that could knock me down!," he gloated.

"Yeah, except for like a futuristic laser arm cannon," said Soos, earning some confused looks from both Stan and Sammy. "A laser cannon? Where did that come from, Soos?," asked Sammy. Soos just shrugged, which only confused them even more. Then, Stan started digging around in his toolbox. "Hey, you two haven't seen my red screwdriver, have ya? Darn thing went missing," he grumbled. "Maybe some magical creature or paranormal thing-um took it," Soos suggested. "Oi! You've been spending too much time with those kids," said Stan. "Alright, let's see where'd I put that thing." "Let me help you look, Mister Pines," said Sammy.

But no matter how long they looked, they couldn't find Stan's screwdriver anywhere. "Aw, forget it," sighed Stan. "I'll just steal– er, buy another one later. Right now, I'd better go change and get in that dunk tank. I got some suckers to swindle!" After that, Sammy left to enjoy the fair on his own. He played a few of the game booths, but never won any prizes. He also brought a caramel apple and ate it while watching everyone else enjoy the fair. Suddenly, a mechanical, high-pitched screech filled the air, causing everyone, including Sammy to cover their ears in pain. It turned out to be the feedback from Stan's megaphone. "It's 12 o' clock! The Dunk Tank is now open!," he announced while sitting inside the dunk tank. "Step right up, and dunk me folks! I'm talking to you, Cut-offs! That's right! Muffin-Top, High-Pants! Who wants a piece of me?" A crowd had already formed around the dunk tank. Offended by Stan's insults, they each took a baseball and threw it at the target, but even though most of them hit, Stan remained high and dry. "Ahahahaha! Come back anytime, folks! Ahahahaha!," he laughed obnoxiously. Sammy couldn't help but be impressed. Goading people into paying just by insulting and angering them was actually genius on Stan's part, even though he did feel it was a little much.

"Hey, Sammy!," said Mabel, walking up to him with cotton candy in her hand. "Hey, Mabel," Sammy greeted back. "How do you like the fair?" "It's awesome!," cried Mabel. "This is probably the most fun I've ever had since summer started! You know, other than the monster hunting, the mystery solving, and all that other weird stuff we did together." "That's great to hear, Mabel," said Sammy. He looked over at Dipper, who was hanging out with Wendy. "Your brother seems to be having fun too," he said. "Yeah. I'm glad he's not so sad and mopey anymore," said Mabel. "Hey, let's go over there and see how he's doing!" The two of them walked towards them just as Wendy left to get some napkins, having spilled a little mustard on her shirt. "Look at you two! Getting all romantic at the fair!," said Mabel. "Eh, it's no big deal," said Dipper, trying to act casual. "Are you sure, Dipper? It sounds like a pretty big deal to me," said Sammy.

Dipper finally couldn't contain his excitement anymore. "Okay, you're right, it is!," he cried. "Isn't this amazing? I just dove in! I said, 'Hey! You wanna hang out at the fair?' And you know what she said? 'Yeah, I guess so!' It totally worked! All your advice about just going for it, it's finally paying off!" "When are you gonna learn, Dipper? I'm always right about everything!," Mabel bragged. Then, she sniffed the air and wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Hey, do you guys smell a gallon of body spray?," she asked. Sammy also sniffed the air. "Yeah, I smell it too," he said. "Where's it coming from?" His answer came in the form of Robbie, who walked towards them, practically reeking of body spray. "Hey, have either of you dorks seen Wendy around?," he asked. "Who wants to know?," asked Dipper, frowning. Robbie suddenly reached out and took a clump of Mabel's cotton candy. "Hey!," cried Mabel, hugging the rest of her cotton candy protectively. "You didn't have to do that, Robbie," Sammy said disapprovingly. Robbie scoffed at him. "Whatever," he said, casually stuffing the cotton candy in his mouth. "It's not like you're my dad or anything like that. Anyway, I got some new super tight jeans. Thought Wendy might want to check 'em out." He thrust his pelvis as he said that, causing Sammy to cringe while covering Mabel's eyes. "Yeah! You know, I think I saw her in the Bottomless Pit," said Dipper. "You should really go jump in there." Robbie glared at him. "Maybe I will, smart guy," he said before leaving, bumping Dipper aggressively on his way out. "He is such a jerk," Mabel muttered.

"Yeah, but he's a jerk with tight pants and a guitar. I need to keep him away from Wendy at all costs," Dipper said nervously. "I don't think you need to worry about that, Dipper," Sammy reassured him. "I'm sure Wendy wouldn't be that shallow." "Yeah, but it's better to be safe than sorry," said Dipper. "Actually, maybe I could somehow lure Robbie to the bottomless pit. And all it would take is one little push…" "Dipper, no," Sammy said sternly, putting a stop to that idea as quickly as possible. "Well, whatever happens, I'll be there with you, brother," said Mabel. "I'll be right here, supporting you every step of the– OH MY GOD, A PIG!" She pointed at a nearby pigpen with a bunch of pigs wallowing inside of it. "Huh. Why would Stan have a pigpen in the middle of a fair?," asked Sammy. "Maybe it's some kind of petting zoo?" "Who cares?! I gotta get closer to these majestic creatures! Come on, Sammy!," cried Mabel, grabbing Sammy's hand and dragging him with her. She was pretty strong for a twelve year old girl.

"Step right up, ladies and gentlemen! Steeep right up!," hollered the owner of the pigpen, a man with a gray mustache and a yellow hat. Then, he noticed Mabel and Sammy coming his way. "Ah, Sammy! A pleasure to meet you here of all places!," he said. "It's nice to meet you too, Sprott," said Sammy, shaking his hand. Mabel looked at them in confusion. "You two know each other?," she asked. "We've met a couple of times," Sammy said to Mabel. "When you take early morning runs through town every day, you tend to meet a lot of interesting people." He turned to face Sprott. "So what's this pigpen for?," he asked. "Glad you asked, Sammy!," said Sprott. "It's one of those guess-the-right-answer-and-win-a-prize type of deals. The rules are really simple. If'n you can guess the critter's weight, then you can take the critter home!" Mabel, who was only half-listening, stared at all the pigs with fascination. Then, her eyes landed on a particular pig that was staring back at her. The pig oinked at her. "He said 'Mabel'!," gasped Mabel, squishing her cheeks. "Either that or 'doorbell.' Did you say 'Mabel' or 'doorbell'?" The pig oinked at her again. "Ooooooooooohhhhh!," she squealed loudly. But then, she heard laughing and turned around to see Pacifica and her friends walking past them. "Oh look! Mabel found her real twin," Pacifica giggled, walking away as she and her friends laughed. "Pacifica!," Mabel growled. She looked up at Sprott. "Sir, I must have that pig!" "Now hold on there, little fella," Sprott chuckled. "I'm afraid I can only give one of my pigs to someone who's fifteen or older. Sorry, but them's the rules." "Aw, man!," whined Mabel. Then, she realized something. "Hold on! Sammy, you're older than fifteen, right?" "Uh, yeah?," said Sammy. "You gotta win that pig for me!," Mabel pleaded, pointing at the pig that oinked her name. "Are you sure about that, Mabel?," asked Sammy. "I mean, a pig is a lot of responsibility…" "Pwease!," said Mabel, busting out the old puppy dog eyes again. "Alright, alright," Sammy chuckled. "You can put those eyes away."

Sammy turned to Sprott. "I'd like to win that pig over there," he said, pointing at the pig that Mabel wanted. "Ah, old 15-Poundy! So, how much you guessin' he weighs?," asked Sprott. Sammy was briefly confused, seeing that Sprott just gave him the answer. "Um, 15 pounds?," he answered. "Are you some kind of warlock?," asked Sprott. "Well, here's your pig." He gave Sammy the pig, and Sammy handed it over to Mabel, who hugged it protectively. The crowd around them clapped. "And you'll be needin' these," said Sprott, handing Mabel a fork and a knife. Mabel glared at him. "Nope? Well, suit yourself!," said Sprott, shrugging.

Mabel hugged her new pig even tighter. "Everything is different now," she whispered happily. "So how are you liking your new stuffed animal?," Sammy asked jokingly. "Like him? I love him! And he's not a stuffed animal, he's a pig!," giggled Mabel. "In fact, I love him so much I'm gonna give him a name! Like, um… like Waddles!" "Waddles?," asked Sammy, holding in his laughter. "And why did you pick that name?" "Because he waddles! Look!," said Mabel, holding the pig up and shaking him around. Sammy burst out laughing. "Oh my gosh! Mabel, you're too much!," he laughed, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. "I know, I'm hilarious," said Mabel. "Come on, let's show Dipper the newest member of the Pines family!" "Make sure to shake the pig around like you just showed me," said Sammy. "I bet it'll really make him lose it!"

Nodding enthusiastically, Mabel ran towards Dipper while holding Waddles. "Look, Dipper!," she said. "I won my pet pig! His name is Waddles. I call 'im that because he waddles! Waaaaaaaa-dddllleeessss!" Strangely enough, Dipper didn't seem interested at all. Instead, he was staring off into the distance with a distraught look on his face. "Everything is different now," he murmured. "Dipper?," Sammy asked worriedly, waving his hand in front of his face. "Dipper, what's wrong?" Without saying anything, Dipper pointed at Wendy, who was entering the Tunnel of Love and Corn-dogs ride… with Robbie. "Oh…," Mabel and Sammy said in unison.

Throughout the rest of the fair, Mabel and Sammy tried their best to cheer Dipper up, but their efforts were all in vain. Eventually, the sun was setting and almost everyone had gone back home. Dipper was laying on top of one of the games, staring up at the sky. Meanwhile, a man in a pizza shirt was standing nearby with a ball in his hand, waiting for Dipper to move out of the way so he could play the game. "Uh, are you gonna move?," asked the man. Dipper responded by letting out a deep sigh, but didn't move a muscle. "Aw…," the man sighed, walking away in disappointment. As Dipper continued to lay there, Waddles suddenly entered his field of vision, wearing a doctor costume. "Paging Dr. Waddles, we got a boy here with a broken heart. Haha!," said Mabel's voice. "Come on, man. These are the jokes." Dipper didn't crack a smile. "I was really hoping that would work," sighed Sammy. "Guys, do you ever wish you could go back and undo just one mistake?," asked Dipper. "Nope! I do everything right, all the time!," said Mabel. Then, she moved Waddles' front legs around. "Wa! Wa! Ee! Ee! Wawawa!"

Dipper sighed in irritation, then looked at Sammy. "Sammy, did you ever want to turn back time and undo any mistakes?," he asked, knowing that unlike Mabel, Sammy would give him a real answer. Sammy chuckled, but it was a sad and bitter chuckle. "Oh my gosh, I can't even count the number of times I've wanted to do that," he said. Dipper couldn't help but feel that Sammy was being a little overdramatic. "Come on, Sammy, you're only five years older than me and Mabel," he said. "How many mistakes could you have possibly made?"

"A lot more than you'd think," Sammy answered sadly. He realized both Dipper and Mabel were now looking at him with curiosity in their eyes, and decided to elaborate. "When I was younger, maybe around your age, I… was not a nice kid," he explained. "In fact, I was an arrogant, rude, conceited little brat who mocked and bullied others to get my way. You could say I was… kind of like a mix between Gideon and Pacifica." Dipper and Mabel were shocked, to say the least. "What? You were that bad?," Mabel asked in bewilderment. "But… but that makes no sense!," argued Dipper, trying to make sense of what he heard. "You're nothing like Gideon or Pacifica! You're the nicest guy I've ever met in my life! You don't have a mean bone in your body!" "Dipper… people can change a lot in just five years," sighed Sammy. "Listen, I don't want to delve too deeply into my past. The point I'm trying to make is that everyone makes mistakes, no matter how much you try to avoid them. It's just a part of life. And in your case, it's a pretty small mistake, Dipper. You couldn't get Wendy the ice in time, so Robbie swooped in and took her away. That's not the end of the world. You still have the rest of summer to fix this." Dipper sighed and stared up at the sky. "But it doesn't feel like a small mistake," he said.

"That's just your twelve year old brain talking," Sammy reassured him. "Trust me, once you're all grown up, you're going to look back on this moment and have a good laugh about it." But Dipper was too busy mentally retracing his steps to hear what he said. "I mean Wendy only went out with Robbie because he was there with the ice, and she only needed ice because of the baseball, and I would've had the ice if it wasn't for…" He suddenly gasped as he spotted a bald man in a gray jumpsuit standing around nearby. "...that guy! Hey, you! Toolbelt! You ruined my life!" He angrily jumped up and approached the bald man. "Huh?," said the man, nervously staring at him. "Don't huh me!," said Dipper. "I've seen you before! What's your deal? Are you following us around?" "And why are you bald? What's that all about?," asked Mabel.

"Dipper! Mabel!," Sammy scolded. "Why are you yelling at this man?" "He's the one who knocked me down and made me drop the ice!," said Dipper. "Well, that's no excuse for you to yell at him like that! It could've been an accident on his part!," said Sammy. Then, he gave the bald man an apologetic look. "Sir, I'm really sorry about this. They're not usually like this. They are nice kids, trust me." "O-okay, I believe you," the man said nervously, backing away. "Look, maybe it's best if you pretend you never saw me h–" "Whoa, what are you wearing?," asked Mabel. "It looks so future-y." "AH! Who told you I was from the future?!," the man yelled. "Uh… no one?," asked Sammy. But the man was now in full panic mode. "AAAAAGH! My position has been COMPROMISED! Assuming stealth mode!" He started pressing buttons on his watch, and to their surprise, his clothes began changing to different backgrounds. However, there seemed to be some sort of glitch. "Color match! Initiating color match! Come on, dang it!" He took out a familiar red screwdriver and tried to fix his watch. Sammy recognized it instantly.

"That's Stan's screwdriver!," he gasped. "No wonder Stan couldn't find it anywhere! You took it!" Dipper looked up at him in confusion. "Sammy, we just saw that guy change the color of his clothes with a watch, and you're still hung up about Grunkle Stan's screwdriver?," he asked. Sammy blushed a little. "Sorry, it was… kind of the first thing that popped into my head," he said sheepishly. "That's amazing! Are you from the future or something?," Mabel asked the man, who started panicking even more. "Uh, NO! Who told you that?! MEMORY WIPE!" He threw a small white square sheet at them, which flew into Mabel's face. Mabel peeled the sheet off and looked at it. "This is a baby wipe," she pointed out. The man finally gave up. "All right, you've cornered me. I'm… a time traveler," he sighed in defeat. "A time traveler? That's amazing!," cried Sammy, staring at the man in shock. "Heh. Yeah, i-it is pretty amazing," the man bragged.

"So wait a minute," Dipper suddenly asked, "if you're from the future, do you have like a time machine, or something?" Sammy immediately glanced at Dipper with a frown, since it was pretty obvious why he asked that question. "That's… kinda how it works," said the man. Dipper looked up at Wendy and Robbie, who were sitting together in the ferris wheel. Then, he looked back at the man with a wide smile. "Can I borrow it?," he asked eagerly. "What? NO! You can't use my time machine!," the man yelled. "Come on, can I use your time machine just once?," Dipper pleaded. The man shook his head. "Out of the question!," he said. "You know, this is sensitive extremely complicated time equipment." He took out what appeared to be some kind of tape measure. "It looks like a tape measure," Dipper pointed out, which deeply offended the man. "You shut your time-mouth!," he snapped. "This making any sense to you?," Dipper asked Mabel and Sammy. "I think he's just crazy," said Mabel, twirling her finger near her head. "Oh! You don't believe me?," asked the man, before pulling the tape measure, then letting go. In a flash of light, he was suddenly gone. But a second later, he reappeared, now wearing clothes that appeared to be from a very old time period. "Guess where I was!," he said. "You traveled back to the Renaissance period?!," gasped Sammy. "Uh… no," said the man. "B-but 15 years ago there was a costume shop right here! One second." He pulled the tape measure again and vanished, then came back in his old clothes, but his shoulder was on fire. "Ah! Aw, heck! Pat! Pat down!," he cried, frantically patting the flame down. "So, who are you again?," asked Mabel. "Blendin Blandin, Time Anomaly Removal Crew year twenty sñeventy-twelve," said the man as he held out a futuristic ID with a picture of his nervous, sweaty face. "My mission is to stop a series of time anomalies that are supposed to happen at this very location! But-But I don't see any anomalies! I don't know if it's some kind of paradox, or I'm just really tired…"

Dipper and Mabel glanced at each other, and it was clear that they both came up with the same plan… a plan that Sammy was not in agreement with. "You know, you sound like you could use a break," said Dipper, trying to sound extra friendly. "Definitely, definitely. Might we recommend one of the various attractions at the Mystery Fair?," asked Mabel.

Blendin seemed to perk up a little. "You know what? What the heck! I'm worth it!" He started heading to the barrel ride, but kept facing the twins with a suspicious look. "But I've got my eye on you! Ehhh… ehhh…" Once Blendin was out of earshot, Sammy decided to voice his concerns. "Dipper, Mabel, I know what both of you are planning to do, and I really think you two should reconsider," he said. "But Sammy, this could be my only chance to set things right and stop Wendy from going out with Robbie!," said Dipper. "Yeah, and when are we ever gonna get the chance to use a time machine, anyway?," asked Mabel. Sammy knelt down and placed his hand on Dipper's shoulder. "Dipper, I have two reasons as to why this is a very bad idea. One, we have no idea what could happen if we go through with this. Sure, you could stop Wendy from going out with Robbie, but what if that doesn't happen? What if you change the past in such a way that it drastically alters the present, or you accidentally tear a hole in space-time and end up tearing apart the fabric of reality? It'd be a real shame if that were to happen."

"And two," Sammy continued, "even if the whole time travel thing does work out, do you really think it'd be worth it? Like I said, you only made one small mistake, and I don't think going back in time by stealing someone's time machine is the right way to fix that. Instead, you should just move on and learn from your mistakes, like everyone else does. Don't you agree?" Dipper was about to argue, but realized that Sammy had a very good point. "Yeah, I guess you're right," he sighed, unable to hide the disappointment in his voice. Sammy could tell that Dipper was let down, so he tried to cheer him up. "Hey, here's an idea. How about we go back to the shack and I'll make you both some strawberry shortcake. How does that sound?" A small smile formed on Dipper's face. "Yeah… that sounds pretty good," he said. "Great!," said Sammy. "What about you, Mabel?" But then, he noticed that Mabel wasn't with them anymore. "Mabel?," he asked, looking around. "I'm here!," Mabel shouted, seemingly popping up from nowhere and scaring the life out of Dipper and Sammy. "Ah! Mabel, you almost gave us heart attacks!," said Dipper. "Where were you just now, anyway?" "...I was chasing a squirrel up a tree," said Mabel, sporting a broad grin on her face. "Oh… um, alright then," said Sammy. "Anyway, I was just telling Dipper that I would make you both some strawberry shortcake once we get back to the shack. What do you think, Mabel?" "Strawberry shortcake? Awesome!," cheered Mabel. "What do you think, Waddles?" Waddles squealed in agreement, which made everyone else laugh.

Once they got back to the shack, Sammy immediately went into the kitchen to start making the strawberry shortcake. Meanwhile, Dipper, Mabel, and Waddles sat on the couch in the living room and waited. As they were waiting, Mabel suddenly stared at Dipper with a large smile on her face, which really creeped him out. "What?," he asked, slightly leaning back. "Look what I got!," whispered Mabel, reaching into her sweater pocket. She took out a tape measure, but not just any tape measure. It was Blendin's time machine! Dipper let out a sharp gasp, then quickly covered his mouth, but it was too late. "Is everything alright in there? I heard someone gasp," Sammy called from the kitchen. "U-uh, nothing! Everything's fine!," Dipper said quickly. "Uh, hey, listen. Me and Mabel are gonna… say 'no' to the strawberry shortcake. But thanks for the offer, though!" "Really?," asked Sammy, his voice sounding disappointed. "Well… okay. But if you guys change your mind, just let me know." "Will do!," said Dipper, before grabbing Mabel and dragging her along, with Waddles following after them. They ran up the stairs and into the attic, then shut the door behind them. "Mabel, what were you thinking?! How did you even get the time machine?!," he asked. "Well, you and Sammy were busy talking, so I snuck away, took it, and came back before either of you noticed I was gone," said Mabel, shrugging.

"Mabel, you could get us in serious trouble!," groaned Dipper. "Come on, we'd better give it back to that guy." He started heading towards the door, but Mabel suddenly blocked him. "Whoa, hold on, bro-bro," she said. "Didn't you just want the time machine so you could go back and be with Wendy?" Dipper sighed heavily. "Y-yeah, that's true, but–," he said hesitantly. "So where's the harm in going back and fixing one little mistake?," Mabel reasoned, holding out the tape measure. Dipper frowned at Mabel. "You just want an excuse to use the time machine, am I right?," he asked. "Yeah, totally," giggled Mabel. Dipper took the tape measure from Mabel's hand and stared at it, pondering on what to do next. This might be my only chance to go back and stop this day from being ruined, he thought. But… Sammy told us this was a bad idea. And he's usually right. On the other hand… Mabel's also right. I'm just going to fix one mistake. It's not like I'm gonna force two dodos to make out or something stupid like that. Plus, Sammy didn't see how I embarrassed myself in front of Wendy. If he was there and saw what happened, then he would tell me to go for it! …Right? After a while, Dipper made his final decision.

"Okay, Mabel. Let's do this," he said. "Yes!," cheered Mabel. "Let's go get two dodos and force them to make out!" "No!," cried Dipper. "Wait, how did you… never mind. Look, we gotta be smart about this. All that paradox talk from Blendin and Sammy talking about tearing reality apart kinda freaked me out. All I'm gonna do is go back and fix my one mistake. If I don't miss that baseball throw, I won't hit Wendy in the eye, and Robbie won't comfort her, and they won't start going out." "Meanwhile, I wanna relive the greatest moment in my life: winning Waddles," said Mabel, kissing Waddles on the cheek. Dipper pulled out the tape measure, setting it to this morning. "See you later," he said. "See you earlier! Ha yuk yuk yuk!," said Mabel. Then, the two of them high-fived before they both froze in place, as time rewinded around them.

Then, the two of them reappeared in the exact same spot, though Dipper's hat was now on fire. "Ah! Ha! Ha!," he cried, patting it out. Then, they ran downstairs and out the door, where the bright sunlight hit their eyes. Once their eyes adjusted to the sunlight, they saw the fair in all its glory, filled to the brim with customers. The familiar screech of a megaphone made everyone cover their ears in pain. "It's 12 o' clock! The dunk tank is now open! Step right up and dunk me folks! I'm talking to you, Cut-offs!" Ah, and there was Stan's condescending voice.

"Do-over?," asked Dipper, smiling at Mabel. "Do over!," exclaimed Mabel. The two of them immediately split up, with Dipper running to meet up with Wendy, and Mabel running up to Sammy, who was eating a caramel apple. "Hey, Mabel," he said, seeing her run up to him. "How do you like the–?" "No time!," cried Mabel. "Waddles! Must win! 15 or older! Just-just come with me!" Without letting Sammy say anything, she grabbed his hand and pulled him along, causing him to drop his half-eaten caramel apple. "Whoa! Mabel, where are we going?," asked Sammy, confused by what was happening. "You'll see!," said Mabel, dragging him all the way to Sprott's pigpen where Waddles was being held. "Oh, hello Sprott," said Sammy, recognizing the farmer. "How are you doi–?" "I want Waddles!," cried Mabel, pointing directly at Waddles. "...you mean that pig?," asked Sammy. "Yeah, yeah, yeah! Sammy, you gotta guess the weight for me! So I can have Waddles!," cried Mabel. "M-me? Why do I have to guess the weight?," asked Sammy. "Because you can't win a pig unless you're 15 or older! It's the rules!," said Mabel.

"How on God's green earth…?," asked Sprott, staring at Mabel with wide eyes. "He's 15 pounds! Say it, Sammy! SAY HE'S 15 POUNDS!," Mabel screamed with a crazed look in her eyes. "Okay, okay! Um… 15 pounds?," said Sammy. "Yes!," squealed Mabel, before holding out her arms to accept her prize. "Gimme, gimme, gimme!" Too shocked for words, Sprott handed Waddles over to Mabel, who joyfully squeezed the chubby little pig. "Woohoo!," she cheered, running away with Waddles in her arms. Sammy and Sprott stared after her in silence as she ran off. "...well, time to round up a mob," said Sprott, lighting up a nearby torch. "T-that won't be necessary, Sprott!," said Sammy, quickly stopping the farmer from potentially starting another witch hunt. Hmm, that was pretty weird, even for Mabel, he thought. I wonder…

But unlike Mabel, things did not turn out so well for Dipper. Even though he managed to knock down the bottles this time, the ball still flew back and hit Wendy in the eye. Not only that, Robbie was somehow closer than he was last time, and asked her out before Dipper had the chance to get any ice. Eventually, it was late afternoon, and almost everyone had left the fair. Dipper and Mabel met up again to discuss what went wrong. "The exact same thing happened twice; it was spooky," Dipper finished explaining. Meanwhile, Mabel was feeding Waddles her caramel apple. "Oo, maybe it's a time-curse. Waddles, can you say 'time-curse'?," she asked. "Oink-oink!," snorted Waddles. "Ooooooohhhhhhh! Your face is so fat!," cried Mabel, squeezing Waddles' cheeks. Dipper ignored them. "Is it possible that the forces of time naturally conspire to undo any new outcomes?," he asked himself, before shaking his head in denial. "No, I just need to try again. Third time's the charm!" "How hard could it be?," asked Mabel.

As it turned out, it was really hard. The twins went back in time over and over again, but each time, Dipper always managed to hit Wendy in the eye. At one point, he even hit the large bag of baseballs hanging above them, causing dozens of balls to rain down on Wendy painfully. That was the worst one. Meanwhile, Mabel had a blast winning her pig repeatedly.

Eventually, Dipper found himself feverishly writing complex equations on the glass of a popcorn machine with a pen, muttering to himself. "...I just thought the wind speed… factoring cotton candy…" "Face it, Dipper, you're obviously fated to have a bad day at the fair, just like I'm fated to be with Waddles," said Mabel, showing him a sweater she just finished knitting, which had Waddles' face on it. Dipper ignored her and continued staring at the equations he wrote down, trying to figure out what the missing piece of the puzzle was. "Like there's one variable missing…," he murmured, thinking as hard as he could. Suddenly, it came to him in a flash. He figured out what the missing variable was! "That's it! I've figured out how to win the toss, not hit Wendy, and stop Wendy and Robbie from going out!," he cried. "That's great, Dipper! So what's the missing vitamin?," asked Mabel. "It's 'variable', Mabel," Dipper corrected her. "And Sammy is that variable! I can't believe it took me so long to figure that out! This is perfect!"

"Wait, what? But Dipper, I need Sammy to help me win Waddles," said Mabel, growing a little concerned. "Mabel, why would you need Sammy for that? Why can't you just get Waddles yourself?," asked Dipper. "Ugh, because I'm apparently too young to win my own pig! Stupid minimum age requirements," Mabel grumbled. "Look, I'll only borrow Sammy for a few minutes," Dipper promised. "It won't take that long. Don't worry about it." Mabel hesitantly agreed, and the two of them went back in time again. But this time, Dipper was going to succeed.

Sammy was eating a caramel apple while watching everyone else having fun at the fair. He couldn't see Dipper or Mabel anywhere, and started getting a little worried. Then, Dipper ran up to him. "Hey, Sammy! Can you help me with something?," he asked, a little bit out of breath. "Sure," said Sammy. "What do you need?" Dipper grabbed Sammy's hand and started pulling him along while murmuring to himself. The two of them eventually stopped a few dozen feet away from Stan's dunk tank. "There. That should be the perfect spot," Sammy heard Dipper murmur. "Dipper, do you mind explaining to me what's going on?," asked Sammy.

"Hold on. Sammy, can you stand… right there?," asked Dipper, pointing at a specific spot on the ground. Sammy frowned in confusion, but did as he was told. "Maybe a little more to the right? Okay, now an inch to the left? Perfect!," said Dipper. Then, he ran away before coming back with a baseball bat, which he gave to Sammy. "Okay, Sammy. In a few minutes, you'll see a baseball heading right in your direction," he said. "I want you to use the bat I just gave you to hit that ball right at that target over there." He pointed at the target that was attached to Stan's dunk tank. "Um… okay?," said Sammy. "You'll explain everything later, right?"

"Oh yeah, definitely," said Dipper, before hurrying away. Sammy just stood there while holding the bat, wondering if he just got pranked or something. Then, after a few minutes, he saw a baseball flying right in his direction, just like Dipper said would happen. He swung with the bat and hit the ball, sending it towards the target on Stan's dunk tank. Then, the baseball bounced right off the target - the crowd groaned when they realized even that wasn't enough to get Stan dunked in the water - and sailed through the air, disappearing from sight.

"...okay, that was easy," said Sammy, though he was still pretty confused as to what just happened. He put the bat away somewhere and went to search for Dipper. After a few minutes with no sign of him anywhere, Mabel suddenly ran past him, screaming her lungs out. "Mabel?!," cried Sammy. "Mabel, what's going on?!" Mabel either ignored him or didn't hear him, and kept on running. Sammy tried to run after her, but Mabel was quick on her feet, and it wasn't really long before she vanished in the crowd. Groaning irritatedly, Sammy went to search for Mabel throughout the fairgrounds. Eventually, he got to the Tunnel of Love and Corn-dogs ride and heard the twins' voices. It sounded like they were getting into a heated argument.

Sammy ran onto the platform near the carts and saw Dipper and Mabel wrestling over something. "Hey! What's going on here?," he asked worriedly. "Sammy!," the twins gasped as they stopped and stared up at him with wide eyes. "Guys, what's going on? What are you two fighting over?," asked Sammy, pointing at the small, dark object that both Dipper and Mabel were grabbing onto. "Uh, uh, S-Sammy, this isn't what it looks like!," Dipper said nervously as he tried to come up with an excuse. Seeing that her brother was distracted, Mabel tried to wrench the tape measure from Dipper's hand. Unfortunately, this caused both of them to fall down and for the tape measure to get caught on one of the moving carts. Then, the tape measure ended up snapping back, causing the twins to vanish in a bright flash of light, right in front of Sammy's eyes. Sammy just stood there in shocked silence. "...what?," he finally whispered.

Long, long ago, in the middle of a wooded clearing, a burst of light suddenly appeared, immediately followed by Dipper and Mabel, who looked at their new surroundings in confusion. "When are we?," asked Dipper. "The real question is: when are we?," Mabel said with a smug smile, which quickly disappeared once she realized her mistake. "Oh wait, did you already–" "Yeah, I already–" "Alright." "It's the same thing." The awkward moment between them quickly went forgotten when the ground beneath them started to tremble. "Do you hear that?," Dipper asked nervously. The twins turned around and saw a herd of bison charging towards them. They screamed and tried to run away, but the bison were quickly catching up. Then, without looking where they were going, they accidentally ran right off the edge of a cliff. Fortunately, their falls were broken when they fell through the roof of a caravan that was moving beneath them. After getting their bearings back, the twins looked around in confusion. They were now sitting inside of an old fashioned caravan with a bunch of old settlers. "Be on the lookout for mountain lions, travelers!," said one of the settlers. "Dysentery! Who wants dysentery?," another settler hollered, waving around a canteen that was probably filled with unsanitary water. "Forge ahead, mighty oxen, for a new life awaits us on this… Oregon trail," said the settler who was riding at the front of the caravan. "Where are we? The 70s?," Mabel asked obliviously. Dipper facepalmed. "You sent us back 150 years, genius, it's pioneer times!," he groaned with irritation.

The settler at the front of the caravan heard their voices and turned around to see what the commotion was. "By Trembley! Fertilia, it seems you've given birth to two more children!," he gasped. "It appears I have. More little hands to render the tallow," said a woman who was sitting in the caravan with them, along with her many, many children. "Tallow? What?," asked Mabel, unfamiliar with that word. "Her mouth is filled with silver, mother!," one of the children cried as he pointed at Mabel's braces. "These are called braces," Mabel explained. Dipper roughly pulled her aside. "Mabel, we can't start messing with the past!," he scolded. "Oh, says the guy who messed with the past all day and cost me my pig?," Mabel retorted angrily. "Hey, don't pin this on me! You were the one who took that guy's time machine, not me!," said Dipper. Mabel rolled her eyes. "Whatever! I'll mess with whatever I want!" She turned back to the child. "Check it out! A magic button machine!" She gave the child a calculator. "Shoes that blink!" She jumped up and down, activating the blinking lights on her shoes. "Ooooooooohhhhhh!," everyone gasped, very amazed by what they were seeing. Dipper angrily took the calculator back.

"Hey, sister!," Mabel said to Fertilia. "Guess who gets to vote in the future! Ladies! Up top!" She gave Fertilia a high-five. "That's called a high five! Teach it to your friends!" Dipper had finally had enough. "Give me that! I'm gonna set the timeline right!," he growled, snatching the time machine from Mabel. He pulled the tape, causing the twins to travel through time again. However, Dipper pulled it too far, and the two of them ended up in prehistoric times, standing in front of a T-rex that was about to eat them whole. The twins screamed and frantically started to press buttons on the time machine. They vanished just as the dinosaur closed its jaws around the spot that they were just standing in. This time, they traveled into the future and ended up in an apocalyptic wasteland with chaos and war happening all around them. Two soldiers wearing futuristic armor and laser cannons ran past them. "Run! Run!," yelled one of the soldiers. "IT'S COMING!," yelled the other soldier. A giant baby floated above them, laughing maniacally as it destroyed everything in its path by shooting lasers from its eyes. Yes, a giant baby.

"This future seems neat!," Mabel said cheerfully. Dipper gave her the stink-eye and snatched the time machine away, then pulled it back, sending them to the time where they all went on that fishing trip. Mabel quickly took the time machine back and ran away. "I'M COMING, WADDLES!," she screamed. "Hey!," yelled Dipper, running after her. Then, the twins traveled to different points in time, including the time when Stan unveiled his new wax attraction, and the time when they fought those gnomes. Finally, they ended up in front of the Mystery Shack, but it was much smaller, as though it was recently built, and it was snowing everywhere.

Suddenly, the time machine started growing hot. "This thing is getting hotter! HOT! HOTHOTHOT!," cried Mabel, tossing it between her hands. "WHAT DID YOU DO?!," yelled Dipper. "I DON'T KNOW!," cried Mabel. The twins disappeared again. A few seconds later, the door to the shack opened up, and Stanley Pines, or someone who looked a lot like him, peeked outside to see what the noise was. Seeing nothing, he went back inside the shack.

The twins reappeared in a flash of light and immediately took note of their surroundings. They appeared to be in the middle of some shrubbery. "Oh, great. Where are we now?," Dipper sighed. Mabel tried to use the time machine again, but it wasn't working. "Uh-oh," she said in a nervous voice. "Don't worry, it's just overheated. It'll probably work again soon. Just give it some time," Dipper reassured her. He looked around. "Seriously, where are we right now? And… do I hear playing and laughter nearby?," he asked. He and Mabel pushed through the shrubbery and emerged on the other side. They were both pleasantly surprised by what they saw.

It seemed that the twins were now in front of a school, and what they heard were young kids playing at a nearby playground. "There's monkey bars, a slide, a sand pit… it doesn't seem like we went back that far," Dipper said in relief. "So what do we do now?," asked Mabel. Dipper was about to suggest that they just wait in the bushes until the time machine is cool enough for them to use. But then, they noticed that the playground had suddenly gone quiet.

"Wait… why did these kids go quiet?," asked Dipper. He and Mabel looked back at the playground and saw that all the kids had stopped playing and laughing. The reason why was because a new kid had just joined them, and unlike the others, he wasn't there to have fun or make friends. "Hey, loser! Gimme your lunch money!," growled the new kid, holding another kid by his shirt collar. The new kid's back was facing Dipper and Mabel, making it difficult for them to get a good look at his face. "Hey! Why is that kid being such a butt-face to that other kid?," Mabel whispered angrily. "And why is nobody else doing anything?" She began to walk out of the bush, but Dipper grabbed her arm. "Mabel, stop it! Don't change the past any more than you already did!," he said. Mabel angrily snatched her arm away, then stepped out of the bush and into the open. "Hey!," she hollered. "Leave that poor kid alone! He doesn't need to give you his lunch money!" All the other kids at the playground stared at Mabel in shock and confusion. The new kid let go of his victim, his back still facing Mabel. Then, he spun around and glared at her. "Oh, yeah?," he sneered, stomping all the way across the playground until he was right in front of her. "And what are you gonna do about it, you dumb girl?" Mabel was too shocked to answer him, however. It wasn't because she felt intimidated by him, because he was clearly younger than her. No, Mabel was shocked because she recognized that kid. He had the same face as someone who she and Dipper had been hanging out with since summer started…

"OH MY GOSH, SAMMY, IT'S YOU!," squealed Mabel, grabbing him and hugging him to her chest. "Aw, you look so adorable now! I mean, you were always kind of cute, even as a teen, but now you're even cuter! This is awesome!" The much younger version of Sammy, who could not have been any older than eight years old, struggled to get out of Mabel's grip. "Lemme go!," he growled, thrashing around. "Mabel!," sighed Dipper, finally stepping out of the bush as well. "Come on, let go of him. Your sweater is suffocating him." Mabel let go of Sammy, who suddenly opened his mouth and chomped on Mabel's hand. Hard. "Ow!," cried Mabel, snatching her hand back. There was now a red bite mark on her hand. "Did… did you just bite me?!"

"That's what you get for assaulting me like that, you ugly witch!," Sammy said with a nasty sneer on his face. Mabel gasped and took a step back, feeling like the insult pierced right through her heart. "Hey, don't talk about my sister like that! Not cool!," said Dipper, coming to his sister's rescue. Sammy glanced at his Dipper and rolled his eyes. "Oh, great. Another loser who probably ran away from home because he was such a disappointment to his parents. You guys just keep coming, don't you?," he said mockingly. Now it was Dipper's turn to feel offended. But Sammy didn't let up. "Aw, did I hurt your feelings?," he continued taunting. "Am I about to make you two cry? Wow, you guys are such pathetic losers! No wonder you're always all alone and nobody loves you! Ha ha ha!" Both Dipper and Mabel were shocked to their core. This was what Sammy was like as a kid? He wasn't kidding when he told them that he used to be like Gideon and Pacifica! "Who are you losers anyway? I've never seen you two in this neck of the woods before," said Sammy. Then, he noticed the time machine held in Mabel's hand.

"Ooh, what's that?," he asked curiously, reaching for it. "Hey, don't touch that!," cried Mabel, holding it out of his reach. "We need it to go back home." "Oh… okay. I understand," said Sammy, nodding. Then, he pointed over Mabel's shoulder. "Hey, what's over there?," he asked. Mabel turned around, and as her head was turned, Sammy suddenly kicked her in the back of the knee, causing her to crumple to the ground in pain. Then, he snatched the time machine out of her hand. "Mabel!," cried Dipper, kneeling next to her. "Mabel, are you okay?!"

Mabel was clutching her leg with tears streaming down her face. "I-it hurts, Dipper," she whimpered. "It hurts so much…" Dipper glared at Sammy. The smug look on little Sammy's face seemed so out of place, especially since the Sammy he knew would never be proud of hurting someone like that. "Why do you guys want this thing so badly?," Sammy chuckled, observing the time machine and moving it around in his hands. "It's just a tape measure."

"It's not just a tape measure. It's a time machine," Dipper retorted angrily. He mentally facepalmed at what he said, wondering why he suddenly told him that. Sammy rolled his eyes again. "Wow, you seriously think this stupid tape measure is a time machine? You're even more stupid than I thought. I bet you still have to hold your mommy's hand every time you need to go to the potty. Ha!" At that point, Dipper was really close to losing it. He didn't care that this was an eight year old version of his best friend. He was going to start throwing hands!

Fortunately, it didn't come to that. "What's going on here?," a much older voice asked in an authoritative tone. All the kids looked and saw a grown man with a large mustache, a fancy suit, and a bald head walking towards Dipper, Mabel, and Sammy. Sammy quickly hid the time machine behind his back and looked up at the man with an innocent smile. "Good afternoon, Principal Hopkins!," he greeted politely. "How are you doing on this fine day?" Hopkins rolled his eyes. "You can cut the theatrics, Samuel. You're not fooling anyone," he said sternly. Then, he turned his attention to Mabel with concern in his eyes. "Poor girl! What happened to your leg?," he asked. "It's Sammy, sir!," said Dipper, angrily pointing at him. "He kicked my sister in the back of the knee!" "Liar! She just fell!," denied Sammy, narrowing his eyes at Dipper. "And how do you know my name? I don't remember telling you my name!" "Enough!," Hopkins said sternly. Then, he gently helped Mabel sit up. "What's your name, young lady?," he asked softly. "Mabel," said Mabel, still gritting her teeth in pain. Hopkins nodded. "Alright, Mabel. Can you stand up?" "I…I can try," said Mabel. She tried to stand back up, then fell down with a pained gasp.

"That's alright. Don't push yourself now," said Hopkins. He gently picked Mabel up like she was a doll and cradled her in his arms. Then, he looked at Dipper. "And what is your name, young man?," he asked. "My name is Dipper Pines, sir," said Dipper. "Mabel's my sister." "I see," said Hopkins, nodding thoughtfully. "I don't think either of you are students at my school. Where do you live? Where are your legal guardians?" "That's… kind of hard to answer, sir," Dipper said nervously. "I'd prefer not to tell you, if that's okay." To Dipper's surprise, Hopkins nodded. "Very well. It's not my place to stick my nose where it doesn't belong," he said. "But I hope you don't mind if I ask you some important questions. For instance… what happened here?"

So Dipper proceeded to explain everything that happened. Of course, he left out the parts about him and Mabel being time travelers from the future. After Dipper finished explaining, Hopkins looked down at Sammy, who was digging a small hole in the ground with his foot while his hands were behind his back. "Samuel?," asked Hopkins. Sammy didn't respond. "Samuel?," Hopkins repeated. "Is what Dipper said the truth? Did you kick his sister in the leg, then steal their favorite toy?" His voice was laced with disappointment, but also tired, as though this was not the first time that something like this happened. "Principal Hopkins, he's lying!," said Sammy. "I just wanted to play on the slides, when these two came out of nowhere and assaulted me!" Hopkins, who knew that Sammy was lying to him, shook his head in disappointment.

"You shouldn't have kicked Mabel in the leg, Samuel," he said. "You could have seriously hurt her." "Good! I hope she never walks again!," Sammy spat. Hopkins sighed heavily. "Samuel, you and I are going to have another talk in my office. Dipper, you and your sister will be waiting in the nurse's office. Hopefully, we will get this all sorted out before lunchtime."

As all the other kids went back to playing, having lost interest in what was going on, Hopkins led Dipper and Sammy into the school while carrying Mabel. Eventually, Dipper and Mabel found themselves in the nurse's office, waiting for Hopkins to finish talking to Sammy in his office. Dipper was sitting on a plastic chair in the corner of the room, while Mabel was laying on top of a bed with an ice pack strapped to her knee. Fortunately, her leg injury wasn't that bad. The nurse said that it was just a little swelling, nothing that some ice couldn't fix.

As the twins waited for Sammy and Hopkins to come back, Dipper decided to break the ice. "So Mabel… when we get back to the present, what are you gonna do?," he asked. "Easy! I'm gonna win back Waddles. That's what I'm gonna do!," Mabel replied stubbornly. "Seriously?," Dipper groaned. "Look, Mabel, it's over! Okay? Give it up! I've worked too hard to lose this!" "But what about Waddles? He was my soulmate!," cried Mabel, sitting up and glaring at Dipper. "You said that about a ball of yarn once! Do you really want Wendy to date Robbie?," asked Dipper. "I don't care who Wendy decides to go out with!," Mabel argued. "All I know is that Pacifica has my poor baby instead of me! Do you know how it feels to lose your first child, Dipper? No, because you were never a mother like I was!" "...Mabel, he's a pig," sighed Dipper. "Well, he wasn't just a pig to me," Mabel grumbled. "When we first met, it was like love at first sight! He even said my name! That's when you know you've found your soulmate." Finally, Dipper snapped. "Mabel, when are you going to stop being so selfish and think about others for a change?!," he yelled. As soon as those words left his mouth, Dipper wanted to take them back. Mabel stared at him with a wounded look in her eyes, her lip quivering. "Mabel… I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I didn't mean it like that. You're not–" "You're right," Mabel whispered sadly. Dipper was taken aback. He did not expect Mabel to agree with him so suddenly. But instead of the usual pride that he felt whenever he was proven right, this time, he only felt sadness and regret.

"You're right, Dipper," said Mabel, pulling her knees up to her chest. "I was being selfish. I didn't care if you and Wendy got together. I only cared about getting Waddles. And… this isn't even the first time something like this happened… right, Dipper?" Dipper begrudgingly nodded, since he could recall countless times when Mabel put her own feelings above everyone else's. He knew that Mabel never wished ill on anyone or was intentionally malicious, but there were quite a few times when she acted as though the whole world revolved around her.

"Do you remember what I said a few days ago, Dipper? Back when we were stuck in that crate and headed to Washington?," asked Mabel. Dipper nodded again. "I… I don't want to be that person anymore," sighed Mabel. "I don't want to be the type of sister who only thinks about herself and never has her brother's back." "Come on, Mabel, you're being too hard on yourself," said Dipper, trying to comfort her. "Look, forget about what I said earlier. You can get Sammy to help you win Waddles again. I'll just figure out some other way to ask Wendy out. I mean, I got the entire rest of the summer to do it…" Mabel shook her head. "No, Dipper. Not this time," she said firmly. "Huh?," asked Dipper, confused. "You love Wendy, Dipper. And I'm not gonna take that away from you just so that I can get what I want," said Mabel. Dipper's eyes widened with surprise. "Wait. Does that mean…?," he asked hopefully. Mabel nodded and gave him a sad smile. "It means I'm gonna let you have this one, bro-bro. You can go win that ball game for Wendy when we come back." "W-wow! Oh my gosh, thanks, Mabel! You're the best!," cheered Dipper, hugging his twin sister. "But… what about Waddles?," he asked worriedly. "Are you not gonna win him back?" Mabel sighed heavily. "I know, it sucks," she said sadly. "I can only hope that Pacifica will treat him well. Who knows? Maybe we'll become friends in the future and she'll let me see Waddles every now and then…" Dipper couldn't help but frown. Now, it was his turn to feel guilty. But before he could say anything else, the door to the nurse's office opened, and Hopkins and Sammy walked into the room. Sammy was looking down at the floor.

"I apologize for keeping you kids waiting," said Hopkins. "How is your knee doing, young lady?" "Pretty good! This ice pack is really helping!," Mabel said enthusiastically. "That's good to hear," Hopkins chuckled. "I've already given Samuel a stern lecture. He will apologize for kicking you in the knee, won't you, Samuel?" Sammy muttered under his breath and kicked at the floor while angrily swaying from side to side. "Speak up, Samuel," said Hopkins. Sammy walked up to Mabel. "I'm sorry," he muttered, still keeping his head down. "Make eye contact with her when you apologize, Samuel," Hopkins said sternly. Sammy looked up at Mabel. "I'm sorry! I shouldn't have kicked you. Or made fun of you. Or taken your tape measure thing…" Mable smiled and held out her hand. "Apology accepted!," she chirped. Sammy hesitantly shook hands with her, then did the same with Dipper. "Good. Now that that's all cleared up, don't you have something that belongs to them, Samuel?," asked Hopkins. Sammy slowly held out the tape measure in his hand. Dipper tried to take it, but Sammy stubbornly refused to let go. After a small tug-of-war, Dipper managed to wrench the tape measure from Sammy's hand and placed it in his vest. "I am very glad that this has finally been cleared up," said Hopkins. "Samuel, since recess is over already, you should head to class." "Yeah, yeah," muttered Sammy, rolling his eyes as he left the room. "As for you two, are you going to stay here until your parents pick you up, or do you have somewhere to be?," Hopkins asked the twins. "We have somewhere to be," Dipper answered. "Thanks for all your help, sir." He and Mabel walked out of the room, then left the school, and continued walking in silence until they couldn't see the building behind them.

"Well, this is it. We're finally going back to the present," said Dipper, taking out the tape measure. "Yeah. I don't know why, but it feels like we've been gone for a long time," said Mabel. Dipper was about to pull the tape measure, but hesitated. "Mabel, are you sure you want to give up Waddles so I can be with Wendy?," he asked. "Because I'd be totally fine if you–" "Dipper, I am a million percent sure about this," said Mabel, smiling sadly. "Now come on, let's go back already." Dipper nodded in agreement and pulled the tape measure, then let go.

The two of them waited, but… nothing happened. The twins started getting nervous. "Uh… maybe you got to try again?," Mabel suggested. Dipper pulled back the tape measure again, but still, nothing happened. "B-but it's been an hour since this thing overheated! It should be working now!," cried Dipper, frantically pulling the tape measure repeatedly. "Whoa, Dipper, calm down!," said Mabel, grabbing his arm. "Maybe we need to wait a little longer!" Suddenly, Dipper was able to spot the problem. "Wait a minute," he said, noticing something strange about the hourglass logo on the side of the tape measure. He picked at the corner with his finger and was able to peel the whole thing off like a sticker. "It's fake!," cried Dipper, his worst fears being confirmed. "Sammy must've given us a normal tape measure! Which could only mean…" "He still has the time machine!," gasped Mabel, connecting the dots. "Ugh, that lying creep! Come on, Mabel!," growled Dipper, running back to the school with Mabel close behind.

By the time the twins got back to the building, school was already over, and all of the children were filing out of the building, talking and laughing with each other. Dipper and Mabel squinted their eyes, trying to spot Sammy in the crowd. "There he is!," said Mabel, pointing at Sammy, who was one of the last kids to exit the building. The twins ran towards them angrily, pushing through the crowd of smaller children. Sammy saw them coming and ran in the other direction. For such a little kid, he was very quick on his feet, and Dipper and Mabel had a hard time trying to catch up to him. Eventually, the three of them found themselves running into the nearby woods. "Give us back that tape measure!," yelled Dipper. "No way!," Sammy retorted, clearly enjoying the chase. "If you want it so badly, come and get it!" "Sammy, why are you doing this?!," hollered Mabel. Due to her knee injury, she was having a much harder time keeping up with them, and sweat was pouring down her face. "Because you losers got me into trouble back there, that's why!," yelled Sammy, smiling maliciously. "Consider this payback!" "So you blame us for getting you in trouble?!," Dipper yelled in outrage. "Dude, you were the one who started it! You stole our tape measure, you kicked my sister's leg, and you've said mean things to us since we've met! You've got nobody else to blame but yourself!" For some reason, that remark was what got under Sammy's skin. "Shut up! You don't even know me!," he retorted.

Finally, the three of them ran to the edge of a large cliff that was overlooking an entire valley. Sammy stopped right at the edge and turned around with a smug grin, holding the time machine over the edge. "Stay back, or I'm tossing this piece of junk into the valley below!," he threatened. Dipper and Mabel immediately stopped, scared out of their minds. After all, that time machine was the only thing that could bring them back home. "Wait! Sammy, please don't throw it away!," Mabel pleaded. "We need it to get back home! Without it, we'll be stuck here forever!" Sammy sneered. "You still think this thing's a time machine?," he asked. "You're probably the dumbest girl I've ever met in my life, and that's not a small feat, you know." "Look, man, we'll do whatever you want! What do we have to do for you to give it back to us?," asked Dipper. Sammy hummed in thought. "Hmmm… oh, I know!," he said with a cruel smirk. "I want you guys to get down on your knees and beg for it!" "What?!," cried the twins, outraged by such a request. "You want me to drop this thing?," Sammy threatened, waving the time machine around. "If not, then do it." Dipper and Mabel knew that this was just a cruel ploy to humiliate them, but they had no other choice. They got down on their knees and clasped their hands together, as though they were about to pray. "Please give us back the time machine," they said in unison.

"Hmmm… nah!," said Sammy, shaking his head. "What?! But we did what you said! We got down on our knees and begged! You have to give us back the time machine!," cried Dipper. "Well, I changed my mind," said Sammy. He was about to throw the time machine over the cliff like a baseball pitcher, but then, in the heat of the moment, Mabel picked up a nearby rock and threw it at Sammy's head. Sammy saw the rock coming and stepped back to dodge it… and that turned out to be a terrible mistake. As he stepped back, his foot slipped, and that was all it took for him to fall completely over the edge. "SAMMY!," the twins cried out in horror. Even though this younger version of Sammy was nothing but terrible to them, he was still their best friend, or that's what he was going to be in five years. And now, he had fallen to his death…

…or did he? As Dipper and Mabel rushed to the edge of the cliff and looked down, they saw Sammy hanging onto a branch that was growing from the side of the cliff. "Um, this seems like something we've already seen before," Mabel said nervously. "Sammy, are you alright?!," cried Dipper. "Does it look like I'm alright?!," yelled Sammy, holding on for dear life.

"Oh, no! We need to go back to that school! Maybe Mister Hopkins is still there! He could help us!," said Dipper. "We don't have that much time!," said Mabel. "Don't worry, I have a better idea!" She suddenly reached into her sweater and took out her… "Grappling hook!," she yelled victoriously, holding out the grappling hook she got from the gift shop. "Whoa! Mabel, you had that with you the whole time?," asked Dipper. "But why–?" "Dipper, now's not the time!," Mabel said with a determined look on her face. "Now hug me from behind and hold on tight! Make sure I don't fall over the edge!" Dipper had never seen Mabel act so serious before, and he was a bit bewildered by what was going on, but he listened to his sister and did exactly what he was told. Then, Mabel aimed her grappling hook downwards and shot it towards Sammy, who instinctively caught the metal hook with his hand. Then, like a fisherman, she reeled him in, all while Dipper tried his best to keep them all from falling off the cliff. Finally, the twins managed to pull Sammy to safety, and all three of them collapsed into one big pile, gasping for breath.

After they finished catching their breath, Sammy got back up and stared at Dipper and Mabel in shock. "You guys… just saved me," he said, sounding both surprised and also a little bit guilty. "Well, I guess we're even now, huh?," Dipper said jokingly. Sammy blinked at him in confusion. "What do you mean?," he asked. "You know, back when you saved me and Gideon from falling to our…," said Dipper, before trailing off. Then, he facepalmed. "Oh, right. I forgot that I was talking to past-Sammy. Heh, sorry about that," he chuckled awkwardly.

But before Sammy could ask any more questions, the group suddenly heard something loud in the distance, as though a hungry beast was coming their way. But when the source of the noise emerged from behind the trees, it was revealed to not be another supernatural entity, but rather, an old and rusty car with a roaring engine. Both of the car's headlights were broken, some of the windows were cracked or shattered, and almost all of the paint had peeled off the car's exterior, with only a little bit left to show that the car used to be red. Smoke was pouring out from the car's exhaust pipes, and the growling noise that emanated from the front of the car indicated that something was seriously wrong with the engine. The car drove towards the group of stunned kids, slowly stopping right in front of them. Then, the car's door slammed open, and a rather fat man waddled out of the car. The man was dressed in a messy tank top, with brown stains all over, and his hair was gray and balding. There were dark bags under his little eyes, which glared at the kids from a fat, doughy face. He also sported a nasty scowl.

"Samuel!," the man yelled, droplets of spit flying out of his mouth. "There you are! I've been lookin' all over for ya! Why did I get a call from your principal about you misbehavin' with the other brats?! And why do I find ya here of all places, hangin' out with some runts?!" "Who is that guy?," Dipper whispered nervously. Sammy sighed heavily. "That's my dad," he answered in a sad voice. Both Dipper and Mabel stared at him. "Your dad?!," they cried.

The fat man walked over to them, his fat belly jiggling like a bowl of jello. When he got close to them, Dipper and Mabel almost gagged at the foul odor that was emanating from that man's body. It smelled like a mixture of sweat, vomit, alcohol, and who-knows-what-else. "I had to drag my butt outta the house and to the car, then I had to drive all the way to your school, but you weren't even there!," the man yelled. "You better have a darn good explanation for this, boy, or I'll take my belt off right now and thrash ya so hard you won't be able to sit down for a week! Now talk!" Dipper and Mabel stayed silent, too shocked to say anything. Neither of them really gave any thought as to who Sammy's father was, but they could never have imagined that he would be such a crude, nasty, and violent man. Sammy, instead of showing fear, sighed and hung his head, as though he had gone through this many times before. In that moment, he was no longer the same cruel bully who hurt and taunted Dipper and Mabel a while ago. Instead, he was just a sad, vulnerable kid who was being yelled at by his possibly drunk father.

"Sorry, dad," Sammy mumbled, looking down at his feet. "Sorry? Sorry?! That's all you got to say for wasting my time?!," the man yelled, starting to undo his belt. Realizing what was about to happen, Dipper quickly stepped in before things could take a turn for the worst. "Sir, wait a minute! It wasn't his fault!," he cried desperately. "Y-yeah!," cried Mabel, also coming to Sammy's defense. "We were the ones who took him here! H-he wanted to wait for you at the school, but we pressured him into coming with us! Please don't hurt him!" The man glared at Dipper and Mabel silently, his hand still on his belt. Sammy kept looking at the ground, but a small sigh of relief escaped his lips. Finally, the man moved his hand away from his belt. "What the heck were you brats doing here before I got here?," he demanded. "We… we were playing at the edge of the cliff," said Dipper. "Sammy slipped and fell, but we were able to pull him back up to safety. Right, Mabel?" "Yeah!," said Mabel, nodding quickly. The man crossed his arms and glared down at them. "So why didn't the two of you let him fall?," he asked.

Dipper couldn't believe what he just heard. "W-what?," he gasped. "Why didn't the two of you let him fall?," the man repeated, sneering at them. "My son's nothing but a worthless little slug, anyway. You should've let him fall. You'd have done the world a favor." Then, the man started laughing obnoxiously. "Ha ha ha! Ah, loosen up, that was just a joke!" "Heh, yeah. That was a… pretty funny joke, dad," Sammy chuckled, forcing a smile onto his face.

"No, it's not," said Mabel. The man stopped laughing and narrowed his eyes at Mabel. "What did you say?," he asked threateningly. Dipper frantically gestured for Mabel to shut up, but she ignored him. "It wasn't a funny joke," she growled, glaring up at the man with clenched fists. "In fact, it was a terrible joke, and you should feel ashamed of yourself!"

The man glared at Mabel, and for a moment, Dipper was afraid that he was going to use his belt on her instead. Fortunately, it didn't come to that. "Eh, you're just a runt. What the heck do you know?," the man scoffed. "Come on, boy. We're going home." He turned around and started walking back to his car, while the kids let out huge sighs of relief that they didn't know they were holding in. "Sammy… I'm so sorry," said Dipper. He wasn't sure what he was sorry for, though. Was he sorry for getting Sammy into trouble? Was he sorry that Sammy had to live under the same roof as that awful man? Sammy glanced at Dipper with a surprised look in his eyes, but he quickly looked away and scoffed. "Don't pity me," he said. "I hate it when people pity me." There was an awkward silence between the three of them. None of them really knew what to say next. Then, Sammy handed the time machine over to Dipper. "Here. Take it. I don't want your dumb toy, anyway," he said. "Samuel!," the man hollered at him. He was already in his car, and he was leaning out the window, snapping his fingers like what an owner would do with his dog. "Enough talking to these brats! Get your butt in the car already!" Without looking at the twins or saying a word, Sammy ran over to the car and got in the passenger seat. The twins watched as the car slowly turned around and drove away, disappearing in the trees.

"Well… we got the real time machine now. We can finally get back to our own time," said Dipper. "Yeah," said Mabel. But neither of them seemed too happy about it. They kept on staring in the direction the car drove off to, with many thoughts running in their heads. Then, after what felt like forever, Dipper finally pulled back the tape measure. The two of them vanished in bright light, then reappeared in front of the fair. There was Stan sitting in the dunk tank, taunting his own customers. There was Sammy, back to his older self, standing on his own while munching on a caramel apple. There was Wendy, waiting for Dipper to show up. And there was Waddles, wallowing in the pigpen with the other pigs. They did it. They were finally back.

"Well, don't just stand there, bro-bro!," said Mabel, regaining her cheerful demeanor. "You don't wanna keep Wendy waiting for too long!" Normally, Dipper would've gone running, but this time, he stayed back and looked at Mabel. "Mabel, this doesn't feel right," he said. "If I get Sammy to help me win that prize for Wendy, then how are you gonna get Waddles before Pacifica does?" "Dipper, don't worry about it," said Mabel. "I'm gonna miss that little guy, but I don't want to ruin your chances with Wendy just to get what I want. Just go for it. I'll be totally fine." Dipper wanted to believe his sister, but judging by her quivering lip and her eyes growing wet, he could tell that this was tearing her apart on the inside. So with a heavy heart, he chose to make a sacrifice. "Mabel, go to Sammy so he can help you win Waddles. I'll be fine on my own," he said. "What?!," cried Mabel, her eyes widening. "But Dipper, what about Wendy? How are you going to–?" Dipper suddenly hugged Mabel, shocking her into silence. "Make sure to introduce me to Waddles right after you win him, okay?," he said. Then, he ran towards Wendy without looking back. Mabel just stood there in shock. Then, tears of joy went down her cheeks, and a huge smile spread across her face. "Thanks, Dipper…," she whispered.

Dipper finally met up with Wendy, and the two of them started walking towards the booth with the baseballs and the stuffed animals hanging above. "I don't know if it's a duck or a panda, but I want one!," said Wendy, looking up at the prizes. Dipper hesitated, then turned to face Wendy. "Wendy, I just wanted to say that, well I just wanted to say that people make mistakes, and when they do, you should forgive them. And also that tight pants are overrated," he said nervously. "Dude, you lost me," Wendy said in confusion. "I know…," sighed Dipper, before giving the man at the booth a dollar bill. "One ball, please." "You only get one chance," said the man, handing Dipper a baseball. Dipper glanced at Wendy, who smiled and gave him a thumbs up with both hands. "And a-one and a-two and a-huh!," Dipper said unenthusiastically, throwing the ball with little effort. As he predicted, the ball missed the bottles and flew right back, hitting Wendy in the eye. "AUUGH! MY EYE!," she cried out in pain. Of course, Robbie happened to be nearby and walked over to her. "Hey, Wendy are you okay?," he asked, holding his snow cone to Wendy's eye. "You know this is the perfect time for me to ah… ask you something…" "It is done," sighed Dipper, watching Wendy and Robbie walk away together. Then, he was tackled to the ground by Mabel, with Waddles and Sammy following close behind her.

"DIPPER! THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU! Hmmm!," she cried, hugging Dipper tightly. Waddles oinked. "He's saying thank you in Pig! Aren't you, Waddles?," said Mabel. Waddles oinked again and turned over on his back, his little feet kicking in the air, causing them to laugh. Then, Pacifica walked by them with a chicken that was pecking at her head. "Ow-Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!...," she cried. "I couldn't break your heart, Mabel," said Dipper, getting back up. "Besides, there's no way Wendy can date Robbie all summer, right?" "It looks like something pretty big happened between you two," said Sammy, smiling in amusement. "Do you mind filling me in?" Dipper chuckled awkwardly. "It's… kind of a long story…," he said. "YOU TWO!," a familiar voice suddenly yelled. Then, a hand reached out and took the time machine from Dipper's hand. "AAAGH!," the twins cried out in shock. "WEEE!," Waddles squealed. "Do you have any idea, how many rules you just broke?! I'm asking; I wasn't there with you… it was probably a lot, right?," asked Blendin. "Hey!," Sammy said angrily. "Who do you think you are, scaring little kids like that? Whatever it was you just took from Dipper, you'd better give it back!" "No, you don't get it!," Blendin said nervously. "They were the ones who stole my–!"

Suddenly, out of nowhere, two burly men dressed in futuristic gear appeared next to Blendin. "Blendin Blandin…," one of the men said menacingly. "AAAGH! The Time Paradox Avoidment Enforcement Squadron!," cried Blendin. "That's right, and our phones have been ringing off the hook! There are settlers high-fiving in the 1800's and calculators littered through eight centuries!," the other man said angrily. The first man handcuffed Blendin. "You're under arrest for violation of the Time Traveler's Code of Conduct," he said. "It was those kids! And their leader, Waddles!," yelled Blendin, pointing at the twins and their pig. "That's a pig, Blendin," said the second man, before they started leading him away. "I'll get you for this!," Blendin cried angrily as he was being dragged away. "I'll go back in time and make sure your parents never MEET!" Dipper and Mabel quickly checked themselves over. "Well, we're still here," said Dipper. "Guess he forgot to go back," said Mabel. "Um, guys?," asked Sammy. "Why did I just see two men in strange clothes appear out of thin air and arrest someone who claims to know you?" "That's… a long story…," said Dipper. Then, he saw Wendy and Robbie in the distance, talking and laughing with each other. "Oh, geez, I gotta deal with this all summer?," he groaned. "I'm on it," said Mabel, picking up Waddles and moving him in front of her. Waddles spotted the caramel apple that Robbie was holding and ran towards him with an excited squeal. Robbie saw him coming and backed away, knocking into a table. A bucket of hot water on the table ended up tipping over and spilling all over Robbie's new jeans, causing them to shrink.

"My pants! They're shrinking!," cried Robbie, collapsing to the ground in pain. Everyone else saw what happened and laughed. Even Sammy couldn't help but snicker a little. "Oh man," Wendy chuckled, shaking her head in amusement. After he finished eating Robbie's caramel apple, Waddles walked over to Dipper, who smiled and patted the pig on the head. "That'll do pig. That'll do," he said. After all that excitement, everyone continued to have fun at the fair. The two men who showed up to arrest Blendin were actually able to dunk Stan in the water, much to everyone's joy. By the time the fair was over, everyone had gone home and the sun was starting to set. Soos and Wendy went back home, and Stan, exhausted by the events at the fair, turned in early. Sammy, Dipper, and Mabel were the only ones in the shack who were still awake, and they were hanging out in the living room. "Man, today was awesome," Mabel giggled, having set Waddles on her lap and bouncing him up and down. "It was," Sammy agreed. "But it's about to get even better. How would you like it if I made you both some–?" "Strawberry shortcake?!," the twins cried out in unison, leaning forward excitedly. Sammy blinked in confusion. "How did you know I was going to say that?," he asked. "Lucky guess," said Dipper, shrugging.

"Well anyway, do you want to come into the kitchen and see how it's made?," Sammy asked with a smile. "Ooh! Me! I wanna see!," Mabel cried excitedly, getting Waddles off her lap and jumping up from her chair. Suddenly, she let out a sharp gasp of pain and quickly sat back down, clutching her knee. "Mabel!," gasped Dipper. "Mabel, are you alright?!," cried Sammy. "Sorry, guys," said Mabel, smiling awkwardly. "I guess my knee's still banged up."

"What? When did you hurt your knee?," asked Sammy. He ran over to Mabel, bent down, and checked her knee, gasping at the bruise that formed there. "What happened to your knee, Mabel?," he asked worriedly. "...I got kicked there," Mabel answered. "What?!," Sammy cried. "Someone kicked you?! Who?!" Mabel sent a worried glance to Dipper, who nodded at her. It was time to reveal the truth. "...You did," said Mabel. "What?," gasped Sammy. "Mabel, I would never do that to you! Why would you even think that I… would…" He trailed off, his eyes filled with realization, followed by shame. "Oh… you guys went back in time, didn't you?" Now it was the twins' turn to be confused. "Hold on. Sammy, you remember us?," asked Dipper. "Yes, of course I remember the two kids who saved my life all these years ago," said Sammy. "Hold on for a minute." He quickly went into the kitchen, then came back with an ice pack, which he gently pressed on Mabel's knee. "Maybe you should tell me what happened during the fair," he said. "I think there would be a lot less confusion that way." So that's exactly what happened for the rest of the day. Dipper and Mabel took turns telling Sammy everything that happened, like how they stole Blendin's time machine and used it to rewind time repeatedly, and how they met Sammy back when he was younger. When they were finished, it was nighttime.

"So that explains what I saw during the fair," said Sammy, finally understanding what happened. He sighed heavily and looked away in shame. "I'm so sorry that you two had to see me like that. I'm sorry that I kicked you in the leg, Mabel. I'm sorry for calling you all these nasty names and stealing your time machine…" "Sammy, it's okay," said Dipper, walking up to him and giving him a hug. "You don't have to feel sorry for what you did five years ago. It's pretty obvious that you're not the same guy you used to be." "Yeah!," said Mabel. "Don't beat yourself up over it. Besides, it was your dad's fault, anyway. He was the worst!" Sammy couldn't help but chuckle. "Yeah, he kind of was…," he said. "Hey, Sammy," said Dipper. "Out of curiosity… what happened in your life that made you change so much in just five years?" "...that's something I'm not quite ready to tell you," said Sammy, smiling sadly. "Maybe some other time."