"Hwaah! Total domination!," cheered Mabel, having just knocked her golf ball into the cup. "I am the master of Attic Stuff Mini-golf! From the mighty Swiss Alps, to the badlands of Dipper's old laundry where man fears to tread!" Sammy, sitting on his bed, was watching the whole game and keeping track of the scores. "And that's one more point for Mabel," he said, adding another tally mark under Mabel's name on a writing pad. Dipper, not one to be outdone, walked to another golf ball. "Alright, let a pro on the field, or floor. Whatever," he said, before he hit it hard with his club. Unfortunately, he hit it a bit too hard, causing the ball to fly everywhere and bounce around the room before crashing through the attic window. "Ah, my head! It hit me right in the head!," Stan yelled from outside. "Yes!," cheered Dipper, pumping his fist. "Stan shot. Is that legal?" They turned towards Sammy and Waddles, who were both appointed the judges of this game. "Sorry, Dipper. That was out of bounds," said Sammy. Waddles began chewing on the corner of Sammy's notepad. "And Waddles agrees with me," he added jokingly.
"You heard the judges. They say it's out of bounds," said Mabel. "You're out of bounds!," said Dipper, poking Mabel in the stomach with his golf club. "Hey! Watch it!," said Mabel, poking him back with her club. The two of them continued poking each other before Sammy quickly put a stop to it. "Hey, hey!," he said sternly. "Dipper, Mabel. You two remember the rules. No poking each other with your golf clubs. Do you both want to lose points?" The twins quickly stopped their bickering and were about to continue when Mabel's cat clock suddenly rang.
"Hey, guys, I gotta go hang out with Candy and Grenda tonight," said Mabel. "Aw, again? You can't leave mid-game," Dipper protested. "Don't be silly, I'm not leaving," said Mabel as she shook her head. "My friends are coming to me!" "Wait, what?," cried Dipper, his confusion soon turning to horror when he frantically looked around the room and saw all the girly items strewn all across the room for the first time. "Oh no. No no no. Sleeping bags? Rom-coms? Calling All Boys: Preteen Edition?! You're not having a–" Before he could finish his sentence, Grenda and Candy burst into the room with creepy grins on their faces. "Sleepover!," the two girls cried out in unison. Dipper screamed in horror and ran out of the room. "...Eh, his loss," said Mabel. "He doesn't know what he's missing out on. So, giiiiirls~!" She turned her attention back to her two female friends. "You ready for the greatest sleepover in the history of sleepovers?"
"Yeah, we are!," Grenda boomed in her signature deep voice. "Hello, girls," Sammy greeted them politely. "Haven't seen either of you since Summerween. So how are things going with you two?" After Sammy, Grenda, and Candy did some catching up with each other, Sammy decided to stay on his bed and read a book while Mabel and the others initiated their sleepover. The girls were pretty loud, but Sammy didn't mind the noise at all. However, the same certainly couldn't be said for Dipper. After returning later that night, the preteen tried to sleep in, but was unable to due to the ear-piercing screams from the girls, who were now sitting on the floor in a circle and chatting with each other. "Okay, so how much do you like boys?," asked Mabel. "So much!," said Grenda. "Boys make me think about kissing!," said Candy. "Candy! Oh my gosh!," said Grenda, throwing a pillow at Candy's face. "We are so crazy tonight!," said Mabel as she and the others started screaming in unison, as most young and hyperactive girls did. Dipper tried to drown out the noise by covering his ears with his pillow, but to no avail.
"Ugh, I can't take much more of this!," he muttered under his breath. He glanced at Sammy and was shocked to see him still reading his book, completely unbothered by the noise from the girls. "Sammy, how are you not bothered by all that noise? I don't get it!," he asked. But Sammy didn't respond or even look in his direction, his eyes still on the pages of his book. "Uhh, hello? Sammy?," asked Dipper. "Hm?," said Sammy, looking at him. "Oh. Sorry, Dipper. I didn't hear you at first. I just mentally block out any outside sounds whenever I want some peace and quiet. It takes a lot of practice, though." Dipper found himself impressed, and also quite jealous of Sammy, wishing that he too could just block out the screams from Mabel's friends.
"Who wants to smear makeup on my face?," asked Grenda. "Ugh, you're already so beautiful, Grenda. What would be the point?," said Mabel. "Beautiful! Beautiful!," Grenda yelled while punching the floor. Finally, Dipper couldn't take it anymore. Maybe Sammy was content to go on reading his book with all this chaos happening around him, but Dipper needed to sleep, gosh darn it! "Arrrrgh! Mabel! Do you think you can do this somewhere else?! You're laughing at frequencies only dogs should hear!," he groaned. "Come on, it's not that bad," said Mabel. "You know what your brother needs?," asked Grenda. "A makeover?," Mabel gasped.
Candy held up some beauty products with a crazed smile on her face. Dipper screamed and ran out of the room for the second time that day. Sammy, however, was so engrossed in his book that he didn't even notice Dipper was gone until he had finally finished it. He put down the book and looked around, realizing that Dipper was nowhere to be seen. "Mabel, where did your brother go?," he asked. At that moment, Mabel, Candy, and Grenda were taking turns using a paper fortune teller. "I dunno. He ran out a while ago," Mabel said with a shrug.
Huh. I wonder where he is. Sammy left the girls to their sleepover and looked all around the shack for Dipper, but couldn't find him anywhere. "Where did he go…? Dipper! Dipper?," he hollered, keeping his voice just quiet enough so as not to disturb Stan. As he walked past the door to the pipe room, he suddenly heard a voice from inside. "Sammy? Dude, is that you out there?" Sammy stopped in his tracks and stared at the door in bewilderment. "Soos? What are you doing in there?," he asked. "This is my break room, dude," said Soos. "Hey, do you mind opening the door for me? It's kind of hard to move my arm in here…" Sammy sighed, already somewhat used to Soos' strange antics, and began to open the door. "Soos, out of all the rooms in this shack, there had to have been a better one to serve as your break room than–" He stared at the room that Soos was currently in. "Uh… isn't this room a little… small for you?," he asked. "Nah, it's not that bad," said Soos. Despite what he said, he was clearly cramped in there. The room was so small that it was more like a closet, and the steaming hot pipes in there definitely didn't help. "All you have to do is make sure not to touch the pipes," said Soos.
"Er, right… Hey, have you seen Dipper around?," asked Sammy, getting back on track. "Yeah, I've seen him, dude," said Soos. "He didn't want to sleep in the attic for some reason, so I said he could crash in my break room. He didn't really want to after seeing it, though. I think he said something about sleeping outside or something?" "Outside?," Sammy gasped worriedly, his eyes going wide. "In the cold, in the dark, with wild animals?" Before Soos could say anything else, Sammy ran through the hall, down the stairs, and out the door. He looked around and saw Dipper trying to sleep under the totem pole. He sighed in relief… until realizing that there was a wolf chewing on his leg! "Hey, get out of here! Shoo!," he shouted, waving his arms wildly while running towards them. The wolf saw him coming and ran back into the woods.
Dipper looked up at him casually, as though his leg hadn't been chewed on by a wolf just now. Strangely enough, there weren't any visible bruises or teeth marks on his leg either. It must have been a very old wolf that lost its teeth a while ago. "Oh, hey, Sammy," he said.
Sammy sighed and crossed his looks. "Dipper, do you mind telling me why you've decided to sleep outside of all places?," he asked. Dipper frowned and silently pointed up at the attic window. There was bright light coming out of it, and even from outside, they could hear the girls in there singing Disco Girl at the top of their lungs. "Oh… Well, that still doesn't mean it's a good idea to sleep outside," said Sammy. "Come on, Dipper. Let's get back inside."
"But where am I supposed to sleep with Mabel and her friends being so loud?," asked Dipper. Sammy raised an eyebrow. "The living room, of course," he said. "Did you not think of that?" Realizing his mistake, Dipper's face turned slightly red with embarrassment. "No…," he murmured, hanging his head. So the two of them went back into the shack, with Dipper carrying his pillow and blanket, which he had brought with him outside. Sammy helped him set them up on the couch. "Well, good night, Dipper," said Sammy, about to go back upstairs.
"Wait," Dipper suddenly said. He looked down and nervously played with his fingers. "Um… This is gonna sound weird, but… can you stay down here with me? I'm just… not used to sleeping by myself." Sammy blinked in surprise, but smiled and nodded. "Sure. I don't mind." So the two of them settled down for the night, and pretty soon, they were fast asleep.
The next morning, Stan came downstairs and saw Dipper still sleeping on the couch while Sammy was sleeping on the floor next to him. He rolled his eyes and walked over to them, then smacked Dipper on the head with a newspaper while nudging Sammy with his foot. "Wake up, you two!," he said gruffly. "Sheesh, you have any idea how late it is right now?"
"No," Sammy mumbled, rubbing his eyes tiredly while Dipper sat up and yawned. Stan rolled his eyes again. "Kid, it's 3-o'-clock," he said. "What?!," cried Sammy, now wide awake. "We slept in that late?" "I'm guessing Mabel's sleepover has got something to do with you and Dipper sleeping in the living room," said Stan. "I can't really blame you. I barely got any sleep myself because of how loud they were. Anyway, are you two knuckleheads gonna get out now? 'Cause I wanna watch TV here." "Right. Sorry, Mister Pines, we'll leave. Come on, Dipper," said Sammy. The two of them, still half-asleep, went upstairs and entered the attic just as Candy and Grenda walked out. "Hey, guys! Want any of this leftover pizza?," asked Mabel, holding up a box of pizza that was covered in pink glitter. "It's got glitter on it!" "Uh… no, thanks," said Sammy. "I prefer my pizza to be glitter-free." "Mabel, we barely got any sleep last night because you and your friends were being so loud," groaned Dipper. "Ha ha! That's great!," said Mabel.
"No, it's not great!," Dipper snapped. "This…" He gestured to the attic and what a mess it had become overnight. "...is impossible to live with!" "What? Come on, you're just exaggerating! Sammy didn't mind us being so loud," Mabel said defensively. "It's Sammy, Mabel. You could hit him with a bat and he'd apologize for it," Dipper deadpanned. "No offense, Sammy."
"Please, I'm delightful to live with!," Mabel denied. "Get ready to be poked by the fun stick! Boop!" She began poking Dipper with a stick. "Ah! Mabel, I've had it with the fun stick!," said Dipper, slapping it out of Mabel's hand. "You've totally wrecked our room. And–" He then gasped when he saw the horrible state their golf course was in. "–oh no! Our mini-golf course!" "Heh heh heh, yeah. Grenda sure loves breaking things," Mabel giggled, still oblivious to her brother's anger. "Dipper, it's only a golf course," Sammy said gently. "It's nothing to get worked up over." "Sammy, we spent hours making it yesterday," groaned Dipper. "And now it's all gone to waste. Mabel, we need to lay down some ground rules if we're gonna be living in this room together. First of all, no sleepovers." "What?!," cried Mabel, aghast by such an idea. "Well if I can't have sleepovers, then you can't keep me up every night with your summer reading." "How does reading keep you up?," asked Dipper. "You really don't know?," asked Mabel. "Bro, you stay up even later than I do whenever you're reading one of your mystery novels! And you're always talking to yourself and clicking your pen! And you still keep the light on!"
"Mabel, you seriously expect me to read with the light off?," asked Dipper. "And besides, at least my braces don't whistle when I breathe." "At least I wash my clothes once in a while," Mabel retorted, picking up a dirty pair of underwear with her fun stick. "Washing clothes is a waste of time, I'm a busy guy!," Dipper said defensively. At that point, Sammy felt that he really needed to step in, otherwise this was going to get nasty. "Okay, guys, both of you raise up good points, but I really don't think that arguing with each other like this is going to–"
"Well, it's not like there's any other way, because arguing with her is basically the only way I could get her to actually listen!," said Dipper, still glaring at Mabel. "Meow meow meow meow meow!," said Mabel, using her hand to talk. "Ugh, see?!," Dipper yelled out in frustration. "Now she's making cat noises to mock my way of talking! Mabel, I swear if you meow one more time–" "Meow, meow, meow!," Mabel kept on going. "Mabel, stop that!," said Sammy, getting a little frustrated himself. "Don't antagonize your brother!" "Why not?," asked Mabel. "All he ever does is whine and complain about everything!" "Okay, that's it! That's the final straw! Maybe we shouldn't share a room anymore," said Dipper. "Wait, what?!," Sammy gasped.
For just a moment, Mabel's eyes were wide, and there was a hurt expression on her face, but it passed by before Dipper could notice. "Wah… uh… well maybe we shouldn't!," she agreed angrily. "Fine by me!," said Dipper. "Double fine by me!," Mabel shot back.
"Wait, wait, wait! Can we please just stop for a moment?," asked Sammy, overwhelmed by what was happening so quickly. The twins stopped their bickering and turned to face Sammy, though they were obviously still angry at each other. Sammy took a deep breath. "Okay, I know that there is a lot of tension between the two of you, and I know that you're both hurt and want to take it out on each other. But let's all stop, take a breath, and think about this for a moment. Are you absolutely sure that getting different rooms is the right way to go about this?"
The twins nodded in unison, without any hesitation. "Yep," said Mabel. "Absolutely," said Dipper. Sammy sighed heavily. "Alright, fine," he relented. "If you two really want to move rooms, then we'll have to take this up with Stan." The three of them went downstairs and into the living room, where Stan was sitting on the couch and watching television. "Mister Pines," said Sammy, "Dipper and Mabel have something they want to–" He paused and stared at what was shown on the television screen. "Baby Fights? Mister Pines, I can't believe you watch that!"
"Hey, T.V. knows what I want," said Stan, shrugging. "Grunkle Stan, we want different rooms," Dipper spoke up. "Ha! And I want a pair of magic money pants. It's not gonna happen," said Stan. "Magic money pants…?," Mabel murmured, as even she found that idea a bit bizarre. "Come on, Grunkle Stan. Can't we work something out?," asked Dipper. "Look kid, there's my room and the attic," sighed Stan. "That's it. What do you think, there's some kinda 'secret hidden room' in the Shack?" Suddenly, there was a loud crash from upstairs. "Dudes! I found some kind of secret hidden room in the Shack!," Soos called out. "...You were saying?," asked Sammy. The group went up to where Soos was and found him standing in front of another door.
"Okay, so I was cleaning up behind this bookcase when boom! Mystery door!," Soos explained. "This old Shack is full of weird secrets." "You don't think this will be a repeat of the wax figures incident, do you?," Sammy asked worriedly. "Only one way to find out, dude," said Soos. He opened the door, and they all walked into this new and mysterious room.
The room had clearly seen better days. It was pretty dark inside, but there was a nearby window. However, that window had been boarded up with wooden planks, letting only thin rays of sunlight to stream through. There were cobwebs everywhere. On the floor was a large, blue carpet, and on the table at the other end of the room were two items that caught Sammy's eye: a rainbow pyramid and a pair of glasses. "Whoa-hoh!," said Dipper. "Classy…," said Mabel. The group walked into the room and looked around with curiosity. As they looked around the room, Dipper bent down to examine the carpet and noticed a tag that said Experiment 78.
"Experiment 78? Grunkle Stan, what is this place?," asked Dipper. "I don't know. Just another room I gotta clean up now," said Stan, pretending not to care. He noticed the pair of glasses on the table and quickly put it in his shirt. Sammy was the only one who noticed him take it, but decided not to ask questions for now. "This carpet is amazing!," cried Mabel, making snow angels in the carpet's shag. "Yeah, if you're into things that are terrible," said Stan. "Mabel, get off the carpet. You don't know where it's been," said Sammy. Dipper noticed a key hanging off the wall and quickly grabbed it. "Problem solved, I'll move in here!," he said.
"What? Why do you automatically get the room? We both saw it at the same time," said Mabel. Stan suddenly got an idea. An awful idea. Stan had a wonderful, awful idea.
"Wait a second," he said, snatching the key from Dipper's hand. "So you both want this room, huh?" Sammy narrowed his eyes and frowned, not liking where this was going. "Mister Pines, what are you doing?," he asked. Stan shushed him and continued. "I guess I'll give it to whichever one of you I like more." He bent down and untied his own shoe. "Uh oh. Looks like my shoe's untied." Dipper and Mabel glanced at each other, then pounced on Stan's shoe at once, fighting each other over who could tie it first. "Dipper, Mabel, stop it!," said Sammy. "What has gotten into you two?!" The twins ignored him and continued wrestling each other. Stan was the only one who was totally fine with this. "Muah ha ha. To the kitchen! Fight, fight, fight!," he chanted excitedly. "Whoa! I don't know dudes, this room gives me major, creep-o vibes," said Soos, moving to block the exit. "Y'know, the attic is a pretty good space. Maybe you two should appreciate what you got." The twins looked at each other, then ran past Soos.
Sammy sighed in disappointment and shook his head. "And the day was starting off so well…," he said sadly. "Well, thanks for trying, Soos. I just hope the twins figure this out before things get too out of hand." "Yeah, me too," Soos agreed. "Hey, you don't think there's anything creepy going on in this room, do you?" Sammy looked around the room. He had to admit, there was definitely an unsettling vibe about this room, like Soos said. It felt like many, many things had happened in that room. Some of them good, and some of them very bad…
"I sure hope not," Sammy murmured. "Dipper and Mabel fighting each other is bad enough on its own." "Hey, what do I know? Maybe there's nothing creepy going on in this room after all," Soos reassured him before sweeping the floor. "I'd better go after them before they really hurt each other," said Sammy, before running downstairs and into the kitchen.
Once he got there, he saw Dipper and Mabel elbowing each other. "Hey, cut that out, guys!," he said sternly, running towards them and pushing them apart. Then, he turned towards Stan with anger in his eyes. "Mister Pines, what's the matter with you? Why are you making the twins fight over the room?," he demanded. "Hey, it's entertaining as heck, and it's better than watching TV," Stan said caustically. The conman turned his attention back to the twins and held up the key. "Okay, here's how it's gonna go down. Whoever sucks-up the hardest gets the key to the new room." "Grunkle Stan, we're not gonna suck-up to you just to get the new room," Dipper said, crossing his arms. "Isn't that what you've been doing just now?," Sammy pointed out. "That was the heat of the moment!," Dipper said defensively. "It's not like we'll actually–"
"Yeah we are!," Mabel cried out. "Ten suck-up points for Mabel!," said Stan, pointing at her. "I mean–uh–yeah we are!," Dipper said frantically. Stan frowned. "Trying too hard. Minus 15 suck-up points," he said. "What?," asked Dipper, already confused by the rules.
"Good decision Grunkle Stan!," Mabel praised. "Trying way too hard! Plus 50 suck-up points!," said Stan. Dipper's expression darkened. "Are you serious, Mister Pines?," Sammy scolded. "Where's the sense in giving Mabel more points and taking Dipper's points away for the exact same reason?" "Because I can, that's why," Stan retorted. He held up a bucket filled with roof tiles. "Now, who wants to re-tile the roof in searing 105 degree heat?"
Normally, none of them would have dreamed of ever wanting to do such a physically harsh and demanding job. But since the winner gets the new room… "Me me! I'll do it!," the twins said in unison. Dipper took the bucket from Stan and ran outside. "No, Dipper, give it here!," cried Mabel, chasing after him. "He he. Stan, you're a good uncle," said Stan, patting himself on the back. Meanwhile, Dipper and Mabel were still fighting over the bucket outside. "Gimme it!" "No!" "It's mine!" "Mine!" "I'll kill you!" Sammy glared at Stan and made a low growl deep in the back of his throat. "You got a cold or something, kid?," asked Stan.
Later in the day, the challenge was still going on. Dipper and Mabel were now mowing the lawn while Stan sat in a chair and watched them, drinking lemonade. Sammy stood next to him with his arms crossed, torn between glaring at the conman and sending worried looks to the twins working under the hot sun. Dipper stopped for a moment to take a break.
"Dipper, you're phoning it in!," Stan called out. Dipper groaned tiredly but went back to mowing the lawn. Stan took a sip of his lemonade. "Ugh! Why does that taste so bitter? Minus 10 suck-up points for this lemonade!," he said. "I made that lemonade for you, Mister Pines. Remember?," Sammy said crossly. "And I made it bitter on purpose. I'm still mad at you for making the twins fight over the room." "Heh. Well, joke's on you, Sammy. I like my lemonade bitter," Stan retorted. He took another sip of his drink, then gagged in disgust.
Later that day, Sammy had retired to the attic, reading his book. However, his mind was too distracted to enjoy it. Finally, he groaned and carelessly tossed it to the floor. "That's it. I will not stand by and let this keep happening. I am going straight to Stan, and I will make him stop if I have to." He got out of bed, went downstairs, and into the kitchen, where Stan was eating an omelet. "Mister Pines, enough is enough," said Sammy, walking up to him. "It's time to stop this nonse–" He stopped and stared at Stan's omelet. "...Why is that omelet shaped like your face?," he asked. "Mabel made it for me," the conman answered, before finishing the rest of the omelet in one massive bite. "Mm! Those cannibals are onto something. I taste delicious!"
"...Right. Listen, as I was saying–," said Sammy, before he was suddenly interrupted by Mabel, who ran into the room in a panic. For some reason, her hair was a mess, and the look on her face seemed slightly… off to Sammy. It was an expression that looked more fitting on Dipper instead of Mabel. "Grunkle Stan!," she cried. "What's the word, Mabel?," asked Stan, grinning in anticipation for another snack. "That's right. It's me, Mabel," said Mabel, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "If ya like that omelet you'll love this! A sandwich made out of rocks!"
To their bewilderment, she pulled out a literal rock sandwich. Two slices of bread with rocks in the middle. Stan took the sandwich and stared at it in confusion. "Candy rocks?," he asked. "Regular rocks," said Mabel, shaking her head. "Mabel, why would you give Mister Pines a sandwich made out of rocks? And… why are you acting so strangely?," asked Sammy. "Yeah. Keep that up and I'll be giving your brother this key," said Stan, frowning at her.
"Ha ha! I mean, darn," said Mabel, pretending to be disappointed. Suddenly, Dipper ran into the kitchen as well. "Hey Grunkle Stan! Your face looks like a butt!," he said.
"What?," Stan and Sammy asked in unison, both confused by what was going on. To make things even more confusing, Dipper began dancing around while kicking the oven and knocking down bottles. "Breaking stuff is so much fun, I am Dipper and I stink!," he sang. Mabel began pouring cereal everywhere and laughing. "Mabel's gone bananas! Zing! Zow! Ballow!," she cried happily. "See what happened, Mister Pines?," Sammy said angrily. "Your so-called 'challenge' put so much strain on their poor, fragile minds that they went insane!"
"Hey, you can't know for sure that I was the cause behind this!," Stan said defensively. "But yeah, this is gettin' weird. I'm out of here." He got up and started walking away. "Wait! Are you gonna dock Mabel points?," asked Mabel. "Dipper should lose all his points!," said Dipper, who started chasing after Stan, but was then tackled to the ground by Mabel.
As they started fighting on the floor, Sammy walked over to them and separated them again. "Okay, enough," he said firmly. "Both of you are going to tell me what's going on with you two. Why are you guys acting so strangely? Why did you try to feed Stan rocks and mess up the kitchen? And why do you guys keep referring to yourselves in the third-person?"
"Third person? What third person?," asked Dipper, looking around in confusion. Sammy stared at him in surprise. "Seriously? Dipper, you can't tell me that you, the smartest kid I know, don't know what 'third-person' means," he said. "Really? I'm the smartest person you know?," asked Mabel, a smile forming on her face. "Wha–? No, I'm saying that Dipper's the smartest kid I know. I don't mean that you're not smart, Mabel, I just…" He took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Okay. Just start from the beginning. What happened?"
"We switched bodies," Dipper said bluntly. "Mabel!," Mabel said angrily. "What? I'm just telling it like how it is," said Dipper, shrugging. "Wait, hold on, hold on," said Sammy, trying to make sense of what he just heard. "You two… switched bodies? So you're actually Mabel…" He pointed at who he thought was Dipper. "...and you're actually Dipper." He then pointed at who he thought was Mabel. "But how?!" "Well… remember the shag blue carpet in the new room?," said Dibbel (Dipper in Mabel's body). "It turns out that the static electricity from it has the power to switch people's bodies, which is what happened to us." "Uh, yeah, what he said," said Mapper (Mabel in Dipper's body). "Oh. So it was the carpet that did this?," asked Sammy.
The twins nodded. "Well, that's a relief!," said Sammy, smiling. "Hold on, what?," asked Dibbel, staring at him in confusion. "I got very worried when you said you switched bodies," said Sammy. "I thought some kind of wizard did this to you and we would have to go after him. But if it's just the carpet, then we can use it to change you guys back! Come on, guys. Let's go." He was about to go upstairs to the new room, but Mapper suddenly grabbed his arm.
"Wait! W-we don't have to do it now," she said nervously. Sammy looked down at her in confusion. "Why not, Dip– I mean, Mabel?," he asked. "Maybe we could wait a little?," Mapper asked. "You know, until Grunkle Stan decides which of us gets the room! Right, Dipper?" "Uhh, y-yeah!," said Dibbel, smiling nervously. "It's not like the carpet's going anywhere…"
Sammy narrowed his eyes and frowned. "Don't tell me you want to stay in each other's bodies just so you could sabotage each other for that room," he said. Dibbel and Mapper looked at each other nervously. They didn't say anything, but the guilty looks on their faces told Sammy everything. He sighed and was about to tell them off, but was interrupted yet again.
"There you are, Mabel!," boomed Grenda, who suddenly barged into the room along with Candy. "Attack her with love!," shouted Candy. The two girls ran up to Dibbel and tackled him to the floor. "Candy? Grenda? What are you two doing here?," asked Sammy. "Didn't you already have a sleepover with Mabel?" "It's our second sleepover, Sammy! Duh!," said Grenda. "Girls always have two sleepovers in one day! Didn't you know?," asked Candy. Dibbel's eyes went wide with horror at the thought of another sleepover. "What?! No! No no no!"
The two girls ignored his pleas and cries as they began dragging him up to the attic again. "Dipper? Hey, wait! Come back!," cried Mapper, running after them. Now alone in the kitchen, Sammy rubbed his face tiredly and groaned. Then, he looked around at the mess the twins caused and groaned even louder, knowing that he had to clean it all up.
After he finished cleaning the kitchen, Sammy went to the gift shop and sat down at one of the tables, rubbing his head with his fingers as though he was having a migraine, which may as well have been the case. This was all a disaster. He couldn't talk to Dibbel because he was being forced into another sleepover with Candy and Grenda. He couldn't talk to Mapper or Stan because they were in Stan's office and discussing the birds and the bees. He couldn't even talk to Wendy or Soos because… well, he had no idea where they were. And now that he thought about it, he hadn't seen Waddles in a long while either… Suddenly, Soos stumbled into the gift shop with his arms held straight out in front of him like a zombie. He went straight to the vending machine, but instead of inserting some money to get a snack, he just planted his face onto the glass and licked it with his tongue, leaving a long stream of his own saliva on it.
"Hey, Soos. Did you have a long day?," asked Sammy. Soos turned to face him with a dribble of saliva still on his chin. He was cross-eyed for some reason, but Sammy decided that was just Soos being Soos. "Yeah, me too," he sighed. Soos suddenly waddled over to him and put his head on Sammy's lap, like a dog waiting for a head scratch. Sammy was taken aback by such a bold move, but didn't think too much of it. Instead, he took off the handyman's cap and began petting his head like he was petting an actual dog. "It's just… things have been so hectic lately, you know?," he said. "First, Dipper and Mabel get into an argument and want separate rooms. Then, Stan makes up that stupid challenge, making them fight even more. And now they're stuck in each other's bodies, but don't even want to go back to their own."
Soos looked up at Sammy with derpy eyes and snorted. Huh. Kind of like a pig, Sammy thought. "I'm just feeling frustrated, you know?," he continued. "It feels like every time something big or supernatural happens, I'm always the one who's trying to fix everything, but nobody else bothers to listen to me. How am I supposed to help anyone if I just go ignored?"
For some reason, Soos began chewing on the sleeve of Sammy's sweater, but Sammy was too engrossed in his own woes to notice, still absentmindedly petting Soos' head. "I know it's not my responsibility to help anyone, but… I just can't help it, you know. When I was a little kid, all I cared about was myself. I made other people's lives miserable. And why? Because I thought that if I couldn't have a happy life, then nobody would. But so much has changed for me since that time. I've met new people, went to new places, found new experiences… It made me realize that the world didn't revolve around me. And ever since then, I've been doing everything I could to help people, because I thought that if I helped enough people, if I did enough good for the world, then somehow, it would make up for all the… all the bad things I've done."
Then, Sammy felt wetness on his cheek and realized he had started crying without even realizing it. "S-sorry," he said, quickly wiping his eyes. "I didn't mean to unload all that baggage on you, Soos. I just needed to let that all out. Anyway… I know that whatever I do may not have that much of an effect… but I still want to try, you know. It's the least I could do after…" Sammy awkwardly cleared his throat. "N-never mind. Forget I said that last part." He sighed, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off his chest. "Wow, I feel a lot better now. Thank you so much for letting me ramble on like that, Soos. You know, you are a very amazing listener. Have you ever considered pursuing psychology?" He received no response other than chewing.
"Soos?" He looked down and finally realized that Soos was chewing on his sweater. "Ew, Soos!," he cried, yanking his sleeve away. "Why did you do that? What's going with you? You're acting like a… like a pig…" Suddenly, it all connected. The blank stare. The drooling. The snorts. The chewing. The waddling. "...You're Waddles, aren't you?," asked Sammy. Wasoos (Waddles in Soos' body) snorted at him, got off his lap, and walked away on all fours. "...Ugh, I am such an idiot," Sammy groaned, realizing how obvious the signs were. "So you and Soos got your bodies switched by that carpet too, huh? But if you're Waddles, then where's…?"
Sammy glanced down, and for the first time, noticed faint pig tracks on the floor. They were leading to the door, which means not only was Soos in Waddles' body, but he had gone outside, most likely towards the town. Something about this was bothering him…
And then, he finally remembered. He gasped in horror as a recent memory resurfaced in his mind, a memory of when he last visited Old Man McGucket at the town dump…
"So, Sammy!," said McGucket, eating the lunch that Sammy bought for him from Lazy Susan's diner. "If you were jogging, and you saw a magic talking pig runnin' around town, what would you do?" Sammy, who was about to take a bite of his own sandwich, paused for a while as he contemplated that bizarre and out-of-place question. "Well…," he said, placing it down, "if that were to happen, I would probably stop to talk to it. It's not every day that you come across a talking pig, after all. He might have interesting things to say. What would you do?"
"Me?," said McGucket, a toothy grin on his face. "I'd chase him down and eat him!"
"MCGUCKET IS GOING TO EAT SOOS!," Sammy screamed at the top of his lungs. He ran towards the door and opened it, only to come face-to-face with a young woman who had a pink bandana, brown hair, and a pink dress. "Excuse me," the woman said politely, not noticing Sammy's panicked state. "Can you help me? I'm looking for directions." "Uh, s-sorry, ma'am," said Sammy, scooting past her. "I can't help right now. I need to save my co-worker from being eaten by a hillbilly." "Oh, okay. Is there anyone else who could give me directions?," the woman asked, somehow not fazed at all by what Sammy just said. In a state of panic, Sammy wasn't thinking clearly with what he said next. "Um, ask Wasoos. He'll help you," he said, pointing to Wasoos. Then, he started running towards the town as fast as he possibly could.
After he was gone, the woman walked into the shack and saw Wasoos, who was on all fours and chewing on his cap. He looked up at the woman with dead eyes and snorted. "So, you must be Wasoos," said the woman, smiling at him. "You have a charming name…"
Meanwhile, Sammy finally made it to town and was running around, searching for any signs of a talking pig. Actually, if Soos is trapped in Waddles' body, would he even be able to talk? Or could he only oink because of his piggy vocal chords?, he thought. As he continued his search, he saw the two cops, Blubs and Durland, in the distance and ran up to them. "Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland! Have either of you seen a pig around here?," he asked. "We sure did," said Blubs. "It was a talking pig, too." Huh. So he can talk. Good to know, thought Sammy. "Well, where did he go?," he asked. "They went thataway," said Durland, pointing in the direction of where they went. Sammy breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank you so much, offic– Wait. Did you say 'they'?," he asked. "Yep," said Blubs, nodding. "The pig was being chased by a bearded witch. Just like what my horoscope told me this morning!" It didn't take a genius to figure out that the 'bearded witch' was none other than McGucket. "Okay thanks gotta go bye!," Sammy said in one breath before running in the direction of where Durland had pointed, hoping that it wasn't too late. Eventually, he heard some weird commotion in an alleyway and ran into it.
At the end of the alley, he saw Soodles (Soos in Waddles' body) being cornered by McGucket, who was holding a fork and a knife in his hands. "I'm gonna make you into bacon…," he said, licking his lips in anticipation. "Hey, that sounds pretty good!," said Soodles, but quickly changed his mind. "Wait, I mean, NOOOOOOOOOOO!" "McGucket, STOP!," yelled Sammy, running towards them. "Leave Soodles alone!" "Eh?," said the old man, looking back at him in confusion. "Sammy, you found me!," Soodles said happily. "Wait, did you just call me Soodles?" "Sammy!," McGucket said joyfully. "Nice to see ya again! Want us to share the pig?"
"McGucket," Sammy said slowly and carefully, "I need you to listen to me. That talking pig you are about to eat… is actually Soos trapped in the body of Mabel's pig caused by the static electricity of a shag carpet in a hidden room we found in the Mystery Shack."
McGucket stared at Sammy, his eyes slowly blinking one after another as he slowly digested this new information. "I see… But I'm still gonna eat him!," he screeched before lunging towards Soodles, who let out a very pig-like squeal and dodged out of the way. He ran between McGucket's legs and jumped into Sammy's outstretched arms. McGucket ended up running into a wall rather painfully, but he quickly recovered and began chasing after Sammy, who bolted out of the alley while carrying Soodles. It was a strange sight to the people of Gravity Falls, seeing someone carrying a pig in their arms while being chased by an old bearded hobo.
"McGucket, stop!," Sammy pleaded as he ran. "We can talk about this!" But McGucket was too far gone to listen to reason. "C'mere, piggy! PIGGYYYYY!," he screeched, waving his fork and knife around wildly. "Dude, I don't think he's gonna stop!," Soodles said worriedly, and Sammy had to agree. He still viewed McGucket as a good friend, and he knew that the old man meant well most of the time, but after so many trips to the dump and having pleasant chats with him over breakfasts and lunches, he had forgotten that McGucket, as kind as he was, was still a crazy hillbilly who almost killed him and his friends with a giant aquatic robot monster.
As they ran through the town, Sammy ran right past Blubs and Durland, not even looking in their direction. Not long after, McGucket ran past them as well. But unlike the other times, the two cops were unwilling to stand by and do nothing. "Oh, no!," cried Durland. "Sammy's being chased by that bearded witch!" "Then we gotta help him!," said Blubs. "Deputy Durland, time to bring out the bell." Durland took out his golden bell - the same bell he had been using during the Quentin Trembley case - and rang it loudly. "Wooo Eeee!," he hollered as he and Blubs joined in the chase. It was quite possibly the weirdest police chase in history; Sammy carrying Soodles while being chased by McGucket, who was being chased by Blubs and Durland.
"What do we do now, dude?!," Soodles panicked. Sammy racked his brain for ideas, then suddenly remembered the thing that had caused this whole mess in the first place. "The carpet!," he gasped. "We need to get you back to that carpet so you and Waddles can switch your bodies back!" With a plan now in mind, Sammy and Soodles ran all the way back to the shack, with McGucket and the police hot on their trail. They ran inside, bolted up the stairs, and barged into the new room, only to find that Dipper, Mabel, Candy, and Grenda were already in there. "Guys?!," Sammy cried out in surprise, only to see the static electricity from the carpet about to take its effect. "Uh oh…," he murmured. Soodles, however, jumped out of Sammy's arms and ran towards them anyway. "Oh dudes!," he said, leaping onto the carpet.
McGucket also entered the room and ran past Sammy, entirely focused on the talking pig. "Come back! I wanna deep fry your ears!," he cackled. "Wait, stop!," cried Sammy, running onto the carpet with them. And then, just like that, everyone standing on the carpet was hit with an electric shock that jolted them to their very cores. For Sammy, it was literally an out-of-body experience. He felt his own soul being pulled out of his body, only to be placed into someone else's. Once the bright light cleared away, everyone in the room had switched bodies.
"Cool! I'm Santa Claus!," said Grenducket (Grenda in McGucket's body). "WOOEE! Haha! I've regained my innocence!," laughed McGandy (McGucket in Candy's body). Dipples (Dipper in Waddles' body) looked down at himself in distaste. "Well, I guess I'm a pig now, so, that's a thing," he sighed, before proceeding to munch on a nearby apple. "This body's not that different from my old one," said Soosenda (Soos in Grenda's body). Sammy looked down at his new body as well and realized that he was much shorter than before, and that he was wearing a pink sweater with a shooting star on it. He also felt something cold and hard on his teeth, which tasted metallic when he licked it. "Great. I'm in Mabel's body now," he groaned.
Suddenly, Blubs and Durland barged into the room as well. "We've got some reports of excessive gigglin'," said Blubs. Grenducket and Cipper (Candy in Dipper's body) laughed and ran into each other. There was another large shock, and now the girls had switched bodies with the cops. "My horoscope didn't say anything about this," cried Blandy (Blubs in Candy's body). "AHH! What's happenin' to me?!," cried Durenda (Durland in Grenda's body), running into the wall. "Ow! Ooh!" He started giggling for some reason. Meanwhile, Canblubs (Candy in Blubs' body) admired her new body in the mirror. "I am a police officer now!," she giggled.
"Let's go bust some perps, Candy!," said Grenland (Grenda in Durland's body). Then, Dipples lunged towards Sabel (Sammy in Mabel's body) and aggressively tugged at his sweater with his pig teeth. "Give me that key, Mabel!," he said angrily. "W-wait! Dipper, stop, it's me! It's Sammy!," cried Sabel, pushing him away. Dipples accidentally bumped into someone else, and that caused another chain of body switching. Nobody knew what was going on anymore, or who were in whose bodies. After several more transformations, by some miracle, Dipper, Mabel, and Sammy finally ended up back into their old bodies. "Mabel, are you you?," asked Dipper. "Yeah, I'm me," said Mabel, relieved. She looked up at Sammy. "Is that you, Sammy?" Sammy checked himself over and nodded. "Yeah, it's me," he said. "That's good," said Dipper, smiling. It seemed like things had finally calmed down. Until… "Well I've got the key!," Dipper yelled triumphantly, holding it up. He ran out of the room with Mabel chasing after him. "Mabel! Dipper! Get back here!," groaned Sammy, running after them while leaving everyone else in the room to continue switching bodies with each other. He followed the twins to the attic and found them fighting over the key. "Mabel, the room is mine! Give it to me!," yelled Dipper. "No, it's mine!," yelled Mabel. "Actually, it's neither of yours!," snapped Sammy, snatching the key away from them.
The twins tried to take the key back, but Sammy held it high above them, far out of their reach. "Come on, Sammy, this isn't funny. Give it back!," said Dipper. "Does it look like I'm joking right now?," Sammy asked crossly. "What is going on with you two anyway? Why do both of you want that room so badly?" "I don't!," yelled Mabel. "I never even wanted to move out!" "Yeah, me either!," yelled Dipper. The twins stopped and stared at each other. "Wait, what?," they asked at the same time, surprised by what the other had said. Sammy raised an eyebrow, still holding the key above them. "Sounds like you two need to sit down and have another chat with each other," he said. Dipper and Mabel exchanged guilty looks and sighed. "I'll start. Mabel… I never wanted to move out," said Dipper. "Then what was all this?," asked Mabel, utterly confused.
"Everything was fine until you started bringing your friends around every night," Dipper explained. "I mean, hanging out with you this summer's been fun. But, now you're always with Candy and Grenda, and even though I still have Sammy, I feel… just, left behind."
After hearing from his point of view, Mabel and Sammy couldn't help but feel sorry for him. "Aww, Dipper," said Mabel. "I had no idea, Dipper," said Sammy. "I knew you were having a hard time with Mabel's constant sleepovers, but I had no idea you felt that way…"
"It's okay. I've just been having a hard time, you wouldn't understand what I'm going through," said Dipper. Sammy frowned. He wanted to tell Dipper that he knew exactly what he was going through, but thought better of it and begrudgingly refrained from saying anything. "You're probably feeling awkward and sweaty, huh?," asked Mabel. "Yeah. How'd you know?," asked Dipper. Mabel smiled sympathetically. "You can have the room, Dipper. I won't fight you for it," she said. "Really?," asked Dipper, before smiling at her gratefully. "Thanks."
"I'm glad that everything has finally worked out," said Sammy, giving Dipper the key. "Now come on, let's go back and help everyone into their old bodies." So the three of them went back to the new room, where by now, everyone was absolutely bewildered, not knowing how to switch back. After a long, long time, they were finally able to get everyone back to their original bodies and sent them on their way. "Well it looks like everyone's back to normal… Except for Soos, who may be a pig permanently…?," asked Mabel, gesturing to Soos, who was chewing on the door frame. "Oh no, I changed back," said Soos. "At least I think I did."
McGucket slowly came up behind the handyman, still holding the knife and fork. "I'll still eat ya," he said hungrily. Sammy cleared his throat. "McGucket," he said sternly, his hands on his hips. McGucket smiled sheepishly and put away his eating utensils. "Sorry, Sammy," the old man apologized. "You just do some crazy things on an empty stomach." He walked out of the room, though he still glanced at Soos with a hungry look in his eyes as he passed.
Waddles walked under Soos' leg and snorted. "I guess being a pig wasn't that great after all," he said. "Hey, let me get that spot you can never reach." Suddenly, the doorbell downstairs rang. Sammy went down and answered the door, only to see a young woman standing outside, one who looked very familiar for some reason. "Uh, hello. Can I help you, ma'am?," he asked. "Yes," said the woman, wringing her hands with a nervous smile on her face. "Um… Is Wasoos still here?" "E-excuse me?," asked Sammy. Then, he remembered where he had met her before and smiled sheepishly. "Oh! I'm so sorry, ma'am. You see, there's been a misunder–"
"Who's at the door, dude?," asked Soos, walking up behind him. The woman saw him and brightened up. "You're here. You're actually here," she said. "Hey, I've been thinking, and the answer is yes, I will marry you, Wasoos!" Soos took a step back with wide eyes, unprepared by what he heard. "Wait, I don't remember anything about–," he said, before the woman leaned forward and kissed him on the lips, cutting him off. "Oh–alright," he said, accepting this strange turn of events. Meanwhile, Sammy stood by awkwardly, unsure on what to do.
Later that night, Dipper had finished moving into his new room. That meant Mabel and Sammy were the only ones left to sleep in the attic. As they got ready for bed, Mabel snuggled under her covers, then turned to her right. "Good night Dipper," she said, only to remember that Dipper was no longer sleeping in the attic with them. A somber expression formed on her face. Sammy noticed it and walked over to Mabel's bedside. "Are you doing okay, Mabel?," he asked gently. Mabel sighed heavily. "I guess. I just wish Dipper is still here," she said. "I know he wants to have his own room, but… I still miss him." "Yeah, me too," said Sammy. "But hey, at least we'll see him again in the morning, right?" Mabel smiled, though her heart wasn't really into it. "Yeah, you're right," she said sadly. Suddenly, the attic door opened, and standing in the doorway was Dipper, his pillow and blankets under his arm. "Dipper?," asked Sammy. "What are you doing here? Not that you're not welcome, but I thought you'd be staying in your new room."
"Yeah… About that," Dipper said nervously. "That room was a little too… empty for me. Is it okay if I sleep here instead? Maybe we could even have a sleepover?" Sammy and Mabel looked at each other, then smiled at Dipper. "I thought you didn't like sleepovers," Sammy said in a hopeful and slightly teasing voice. Dipper chuckled and held out his blankets. "Well, there's a first time for everything," he said. "So… what do you say, Mabel?" Mabel grinned and got out of bed, then took out her golf club and a ball. "FORE!," she cried, hitting the ball at Dipper, who smiled and hit it back. The ball crashed through the window, just like what happened in their last game, and hit Stan on the head. "Ahh! Why am I even out here at night?," he yelled.
As the twins laughed together, Sammy just stood by and watched them, a smile of relief on his lips. You know what? Today turned out to be a good day, after all, he thought.