"The Homecoming Game and Dance is this week." Cordelia muttered, as she and Xander leaned against each on the couch in Diana's living room. "I was looking forward to both. Faith and I got our dresses for the Dance custom made and I couldn't wait to see your face when you saw me. Now I'm not feeling like cheering at the big game or partying afterward."
"Mason helped me pick out a tux and Jesse's Dad helped him. He was thinking of asking Faith to dance, kinda testing the waters and whether there might really be the potential for something there. But ready to back off if she shut him down. He learned his lesson about fawning all over a girl and plans never to do it again."
"Guys can be taught, it just takes some of you a few years to actually learn the lesson." Cordelia sighed. "I'm sorry about Willow. We were never friends, but for your sake I would have tried. Neither of you were born into a family that gave a crap, so became each other's family. Jesse wanted brothers and sisters, but didn't have them, so he became part of the family you guys made. And it mostly worked, except for Willow's crush, but I think that was more about being afraid of losing you, then actually being a crush. She never acted on or talked about it. If she had -."
"If she had I would have said I didn't feel the same way and her feelings would have been hurt, doesn't take a genius like Willow was to figure that out. I didn't want to hurt her, so I never said anything. I kept hoping someone would see her and be good to her and that she'd like them back. Her crush made me as uncomfortable as Jesse's made you, even if Willow never fawned. Now she'll never get the chance, a vampire took it from her. Stole her life, her body, her face. Everything except her soul, you're right, her soul is safe and that is something to be happy about. A silver lining in a nightmare."
"Enough moping." Faith muttered as she came into the living room with a large roast beef sandwich in her hand as Jesse followed carrying pops and a platter with roast beef sandwiches for all of them. "Diana's gone to check the bleachers and figure out why they're acting crazy. I, unfortunately, never had the chance to get to know Willow, except through you guy's stories about her and I'm sorry about that. But if we don't change the subject and soon, I'm going to be bawling. I blame hormones."
"Doesn't explain why I feel like bawling." Cordelia muttered. "I'm not pregnant. But my guy is hurting and I want to make him feel better. I just don't know how, trying to cheer someone up is new to me. I don't remember ever trying to be comforting or even wanting to be comforting to anyone before. I just didn't care, now I do. Like I told Principal Flutie, I was a bully and probably made a lot of people cry and I just never noticed and wouldn't have cared if I did. I didn't make you guys cry, but this time I noticed and this time I want to help, I just don't know how."
"You're doing pretty good." Xander responded. "No one would know comforting someone who's hurting is new to you." He assured her sincerely. "And that you're willing and trying is helping."
"On a more pleasant topic, Jesse, if you ask me to dance with you, I'll say yes." Faith took a bite of her sandwich, chewed and swallowed. "Just expect to get your feet stepped on because I've never been to a real dance before. Dancing at the Bronze isn't the same thing and I haven't even done that since I found out I was pregnant. On account of we never go to the Bronze anymore, too busy with other stuff. Life stuff."
"Trying to grow up while we're still kids." Xander agreed. "Because Gabrielle deserves a family and the best one possible and we're responsible for giving her that."
"You're putting a lot of pressure on yourself, Xander." Cordelia said worriedly. "Trying be everything for everyone and trying to do your best. I know a lot's riding on it, but the way you're pushing yourself you could break. You need to ease back a little and try to destress. I'm sure Mason and Diana would tell you that too. I've seen Mason look worried sometimes, he's trying to figure out how to be a Dad too and he's worried he's failing you because he can't figure out how to help you understand, you don't have to get everything right. If I can be willing to try and actually am trying, even if I get it wrong, it's okay for me and it's okay for you too."
"I'm just afraid I'm going to screw up really bad and she'll be hurt because of me." Xander refused to look up, staring at his shoes.
"You're not the only one with feelings like that." Faith reminded him. "My Ma screwed me up as much as Tony Harris screwed you up. You pointed out once that I had Diana, like Mason, she'd never been a parent before. But they love us, they worry about us and they try to take care of us. If we choose to follow their example, we're already better parents than the ones we had."
Xander raised his eyes and met Faith's and nodded. "You're right, they're parents that deserve the name and following their example will teach us. Half of being a parent, a good parent, is wanting to be one, trying to be one and learning from any mistakes. Our parents and Willow's never wanted to do any of that, but now we've got parents that do want to. And if Cordelia's right, than Willow's soul might be reincarnating and right now she's getting parents who really want to be parents."
It was as much a prayer as it was a hope.