I did my rewrite for this in an airport on three hours sleep so please excuse any spelling mistakes…
He stole your dog?" Agamemnon thundered, "how the fuck did he steal your dog?"
"He told me he'd taken Helen back to Mycenae house and then she wasn't there. So I went round to Troy House and they wouldn't open the door!" Agamemnon thought he saw tears in his brother's eyes.
"Why did you leave Helen with him anyway?" He tried to calm his tone a little. It was no good to upset Menelaus anymore than he already was.
"Because you needed to talk to me about something dad said-" Menelaus started. Then light dawned. "But I went to you and you weren't looking for me. You didn't want to speak to me…"
"And Paris sequestered Helen at Troy House and came back to the party to tell you he'd returned her to Mycenae…"
Agamemnon was pacing the room now.
"He said she seemed stressed! That dogs can't deal with flashing lights! Pekinese are prone to migraines!" Menelaus wailed.
Agamemnon clenched his fists in frustration. Sometimes, Menelaus tested his patience to the limit.
Agamemnon was about to turn and yell at Menelaus when, like the proverbial lightbulb, an idea kindled in his mind. This was his chance. His chance to make a legacy for himself. The heroic rescue of a dog. The combined alliance of all the houses. Maybe he could even pick up some of that valuable artwork that Troy house was supposed to be full of. He could use the money. Dad had cut off his allowance after getting a letter from Miss Artemis telling him how Agamemnon wouldn't stop flirting with her lacrosse team. This was the perfect opportunity to show what he was made of. To win glory and riches, as it were.
"We'll get her back."
"How?"
"Remember that oath? Everyone was there, and they all took it. We'll gather everyone together and demand Helen back."
"They'll never agree. We were all high at the time."
"Yes they will. They all want a legacy at this school. Respect. To be remembered. Besides," Agamemnon went on, "they won't want to lose faith, be seen breaking an oath. And no one will want to miss out on the fun. We'll go round to Troy, and we'll just sit there. Until they give Helen back. And if they don't, we'll try and get in."
"Couldn't we just go and ask really nicely?" Menelaus asked.
"You can try," Agamemnon scoffed, "but don't think they'll give her up in a hurry. You mark my words, this is all a scheme cooked up by Priam and Hector to humiliate us."
Menelaus looked unconvinced, but Agamemnon was too wrapped up in his thoughts to care. If everything played out like he hoped, this could be a real turning point in his school career. He had long felt he wasn't getting the respect he deserved. This was his chance to prove himself as a leader, and as someone the rest of the school could follow. He could even see head boy in his future. Everyone knew it was purely a popularity contest. Yes, the future was looking very bright indeed.
…
Agamemnon called an emergency meeting of Mycenae House at noon that day (when everyone was finally awake and somewhat functional after last night's festivities). He addressed those who had been at the party, the night they swore the oath. Nestor, Philoctetes, Ajax, Teucer, Calchas, to name the main ones. He would get those from the other houses later. He told them his plan.
"Have you tried talking to Priam?" Nestor asked. Ever sensible, Nestor. But lacking in a certain flare for the dramatic which Agamemnon possessed in abundance, and which ruled many of his decisions.
"I've sent him a message yes." Agamemnon lied, "he didn't respond."
The wifi at Iliad college was none existent, and the data even worse. Most of the students used a system of paper notes, which younger students could be bribed or bullied into delivering. Some used the rather old fashioned telephones in houses, but these were supposed to be for emergencies only. Iliad college was trapped in its own little bubble, where most of what you sent to other students could be found out. A lot of clandestine note burning went on.
"Are you sure he's awake?" Ajax looked unconvinced.
"Yeah that doesn't sound like Priam," Teucer agreed.
"Maybe," Agamemnon said, grudgingly, "or maybe Hector is forcing him not to get involved because of Paris."
"Hector is very fond of Paris," Nestor conceded.
"I think we'd do better to make a show of strength and solidarity," Agamemnon addressed them all, "show Troy that they've taken things too far. Then we can try talking face to face."
"I think you should try messaging one more time," Calchas said, "I've got a bad feeling about this plan. Things could easily get out of hand."
"And if they do?" Agamemnon asked, "if we finally bring down Troy House? Would it be so bad? You know they're always looking down their noses at us. And they've taken their petty grudge about Heracles to far this time. They deserve to be taught a lesson."
A few mutters. The others could see the sense in this. Stealing Helen really was a bit much. The accepted story of Heracles unfortunate accident during the rowing race in Mycenae House was that it had all been a complex plot by Troy House to undermine their champion. Surely that had been compensation enough, without throwing dognapping into the bargain.
"It doesn't seem like Hector to get involved in this kind of thing," Nestor out forward rather tentatively.
"Aeneas then," Agamemnon suggested, "he thinks we started that rumour about his mother. Or Diphobus, he's a piece of work if ever I saw one."
Nestor considered this.
"I suppose so."
"Or it could all be this new guy, Paris," Calcus countered, "in which case there's really no point starting some kind of inter house war."
"Pretty ballsy move for a new boy," Ajax sounded rather impressed, "but very stupid," he added as Agamemnon glared at him.
"Priam has no control over anyone in that house," Agamemnon met with muttered asssents at this comment. Priam's style of leadership was distinctly laid back. Rumour had it that he was only head of house because of his family legacy.
"What does Menelaus say?" Asked Calchas, in a final attempt to put the plan down.
"He thinks its a good idea," Agamemnon insisted, trying to sound convincing, "he says we need to show we're serious. He's worried one of them will actually take Helen home and not return her till after the summer. I have to say I agree. This feud has been bubbling silently for years. And now it's exploded and Troy House have lost all reason."
"You really think so," Nestor asked, "it's all happened rather suddenly if so."
"You forget," Agamemnon explained, "that some of the boys who cam before, Perseus, Jason, that lot, they've become like heroes in everyone's mind. Everyone wants a piece of that fame. They want to be remembered by future generations. If it was me I'd chose a sporting victory, or a new society. But Priam and Hector play the low down game."
Nestor looked at him in a shrewd way that Agamemnon did not quite like. He went on hurriedly.
"If it was me I'd chose a sporting victory, or a new society of course. But Priam and Hector play the low down game. And remember," he added, craftily, "that anyone involved in bringing Helen back will be remembered for rescuing her. And in the eyes of future students, we'll be in the right. It will be the end of Troy House. No one will want to go there anymore. Besides," he finished, rather grandly, " you all swore to protect Helen with your lives. I'm holding you to your oath."
"Wait, does this mean Diomedes, Idomeneus and the others have to come as well?" Ajax asked, "they were there too."
"I was just getting to that," Agamemnon said, "I was thinking you guys could talk to them. Convince them to help out. And it would be really good if we could get Achilles to come. That would secure the entire rowing team. Odysseus too. He never gets involved with these things. It's time he started. By all accounts he's smart, let him show he's loyal too."
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," Nestor, as usual, provided the voice of reason, "we wait till Agamemnon hears back from Priam. Then we act."
…
Paris stood in the middle of the Troy House common room, as though he was standing trial. In one corner, like a witness, Helen sat in a makeshift bed, made from a laundry basket. Almost all of Troy House were squeezed into the common room. The theft had been discovered that morning, when a slightly desperate Helen had been found sniffing at the kitchen door. Everyone was intrigued to see exactly how this would play out.
Hector stood opposite Paris, looking like thunder.
"I can't believe you've done this," he ran a hand through his hair, which was far from its normal neat and perfect state.
"You have to give her back," Aeneas looked poised for a fight, his eyes hostile.
"Why?" Paris looked genuinely confused, "I thought you would all back me on this."
Hector stared into his brother's face, trying to read it. Had this all been an honest mistake? A misunderstanding of how house rivalries worked? He turned to Priam.
"Can we talk about this in private?" He asked.
Priam nodded reluctantly. As head of Troy House, he hadn't yet had to deal with anything more complicated than fights over who blocked the toilets. He really didn't want to deal with this. He'd so nearly made it through school without any complicated drama (apart from the whole Heracles debacle but he'd only been a first year then, so it hadn't affected him much) and he'd been hoping to keep it that way. He took a longing look at Hecuba, who sat by Helen's basket, looking as though she wanted to kill someone, and didn't really care who. No help there then. Priam squared his shoulders, and followed Hector out of the room.
The others stood watching Priam and Hector leave, and then, as they did not reappear, they sank down to the sofas. The atmosphere was tense, nobody spoke for some time.
"For the record, I think it's pretty funny," Diphobus leaned back, waiting to see the reaction to his comment. Aeneas opened his mouth, then saw the expression on Diphobus' face and shut it again. He wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.
"I suppose it's one way to pay the bastards back," Hellenus (Cassandra's twin brother, about as unlike her in character as they were alike in looks) said tentatively, eyeing Aeneas nervously.
Antenor looked uncomfortable.
"You shouldn't have done it, Paris," he said slowly.
Aeneas got up and left the room.
"What's his problem?" Paris gave a grin which broadened as a few snickers passed through the room.
"Maybe it's because you lied to him?" Hecuba suggested through gritted teeth.
Paris shrugged and leaned back, unconcerned.
"I didn't want him to give everything away," he opened his eyes wide, exuding innocence, "I don't know him well yet, I wasn't sure…"
"Rubbish!" Hecuba spat, "you knew exactly what you were doing."
"Think that if you want," Paris said virtuously.
The room descended into silence again.
…
"Hector," Priam started to speak, but Hector cut him off.
"I'm sorry about this, okay. But I don't think we can give it back."
"What?"
"We need to stick behind Paris on this one. He's new, and if we all turn against him, he'll have no one."
"Turn against him? Hector, he stole Menelaus' dog!"
"He thought it was alright. Everyone has been going on about Heracles, he just got confused."
Priam looked unconvinced.
"Look, I know Paris. He's not going to give it back. So our only option is to stand by him, otherwise he'll be at the mercy of all of Mycenae House."
"Hector…"
"I can't let that happen, Priam."
Priam sighed.
"I can't promise anything," he said at last, "I'll put it to a vote. Everyone deserves a say in this. I have to think about all of Troy House here Hector, you understand that?"
He sounded almost pleading. Hector's shoulders slumped.
"I know," he ran a hand through his hair, "I just…"
"I'll make sure Paris is alright," Priam promised, more to comfort Hector than anything else. Maybe if they nipped this in the bud and returned the stupid dog now, then all of this would have blown over by next term. And he wouldn't be there to deal with it if it didn't.
Priam stepped back into the common room, leaving Hector alone with his thoughts.
…
"He said no," Agamemnon struggled to keep the triumph from his voice.
The others looked up at him.
"The guy at the door," Agamemnon said, "a message from Priam, like I said. He said they're not giving Helen back. Not yet anyway."
"Shit." Ajax leaned back against the sofa cushions, looking stunned.
"I wouldn't have thought it of Priam," Nestor sounded half amazed, half disbelieving.
"They put it to a vote," Agamemnon added, "the message was very insistent about that. Priam doesn't want the blame on him alone."
"Probably because his house made a dumb decision," Teucer muttered, but not loud enough for Agamemnon to hear.
Nestor nodded slowly. A vote. That sounded more like Priam. He got up and read the note over Agamemnon's shoulder.
"I suppose we're putting your plan into action then," he said. He did not sound enthusiastic about the prospect.
After some more discussion in which no one voiced the opinion that Agamemnon sounded like a pompous ass and needed to stop treating the whole thing like a military operation, the group disbanded to secure the others.
Ajax to tackle Diomedes, as they were both in the rugby team, Nestor and Calchas to find Idomeneus because they were smart, and could probably come up with something convincing. Philoctetes and Teucer went around the rest of Mycenae House and tracked down the cricket team, of which they were both members.
The reason why nobody complained about Agamemnon's attitude (not even Ajax) was that they were all starting to get rather caught up the the drama of the thing. In the legacy they would obtain. It sounded like fun.
…
Ajax found Diomedes in the common room, hunched over a jigsaw puzzle while Palamedes tried to get him to listen to his growing list of complaints about Achilles.
"Hey," Diomedes looked up gratefully at Ajax. Diomedes really didn't see that it was his problem if Achilles and Palamedes couldn't get on. Achilles was not an easy person to get on with,
"Hi," Ajax said awkwardly, lowering himself onto the sofa opposite the two other boys.
"What did you want?" Palamedes sensed Ajax's unease.
"I supposed you heard what happened to Helen," Ajax felt this was as good a place to start as any.
"Oh yeah," Diomedes laughed, then hurriedly adopted an attitude of solemn sympathy, "poor Menelaus. Has Agamemnon managed to get her back yet?"
"Actually…no."
"Oh. That's sad. I'm sure it will be fine. He should pop round to Troy House and beat Paris up. That would be funny and he'd win easily."
"Well, actually," Ajax tried to find the words with difficulty, "Agamemnon was thinking of a sort of display of solidarity. Show Paris that he needs to give Helen back otherwise we'll all hate him."
"We do hate him. Too good looking by half. Reminds me of Ganymede, and remember the scandal he caused."
"I don't think it was his fault," Patroclus came into the common room, clutching a Biology textbook, "Oh, hi Ajax."
"Hi Patroclus."
Patroclus sat down next to Diomedes, placing his textbook on the table carefully. He tried fitting a piece into the jigsaw puzzle. It slid into place in a satisfying way. He placed a few others while Diomedes looked on, astonished.
"So," Diomedes went on, most of his attention back on the jigsaw now and trying to keep up with Patroclus, "Agamemnon wants all of us to ask Paris to give Helen back?"
Ajax explained the plan. Somehow it sounded a lot less brilliant now.
"Hasn't Agamemnon asked Priam?" Patroclus looked up, "I doubt Priam would be behind a plan like this. I reckon it's just Paris. I'm not sure about him…"
He looked like he had just confessed to murder. Patroclus' prowess at rowing hid the fact that he was an annoyingly nice person, who hated to speak ill of anyone.
"I never liked Priam," Palamedes put in, "thinks he's just about the best person in the school."
"You're just jealous he got your place on the student council," Diomedes said lazily, barely looking up from the jigsaw.
Ajax felt he was losing control of the situation.
"I mean obviously Agamemnon is going to try messaging Paris and Priam again," he found himself saying, even though it wasn't strictly true, "but he just wants a few people to show them we mean business. You did swear that oath after all."
"That oath was a joke!" Palamedes retorted.
"Yeah!" Diomedes backed him up.
"What does Menelaus want?" Patroclus asked, "It's his dog after all."
"Menelaus is up for the plan." Ajax replied. Why on earth did he keep lying? The truth was, now he had been roped into this whole business, he really wanted to be part of a majority, not the lone idiot who agreed to Agamemnon's hair-brained scheme to win himself a school legacy.
"I mean of course I want to help Menelaus out," Diomedes said reluctantly, "and if you've tried everything else…"
"Yeah, if Menelaus needs our help," Patroclus caught Diomedes' eye and looked meaningful. Diomedes suppressed a sigh. Patroclus was loyal to a fault and couldn't stand to see his friends upset. For Diomedes' part, he wasn't going to let Patroclus make a fool out of himself alone. Not least because the consequences would involve him, Achilles and Achilles' fist. Achilles was not the kind of boyfriend who could understand that Patroclus was perfectly capable of fighting his own battles.
"So you'll come along tomorrow?" Ajax asked, seeing him wavering, "and you'll bring some others? I've got most of the rugby team to come along, so you could bring the ones from Argos."
"Sure."
"And maybe Achilles?"
They all looked at Patroclus, who looked doubtful.
"I'll try," he said, "but Achilles doesn't really like Agamemnon much. And he likes to train in the holidays. He only has an erg at home and it's not the same."
"Surely he won't want to be the only one who doesn't show up?" Ajax asked, but without much hope. Achilles knew full well he had the respect of the entire school, especially the rowing team.
"I'll try," Patroclus repeated, and Ajax could see that was the best he was going to get. It was a stalemate. Achilles was about as stubborn as it was possible to be, and Agamemnon did not know the meaning of the word no. He turned to Diomedes.
"Agamemnon thought you might be able to get Odysseus to come along. You know, with Ithaca House. Then we'd have all the Houses."
( this was not strictly accurate. Agamemnon had in fact told Teucer to talk to Odysseus, as they were on the cricket team together. But Teucer had confided to Ajax that he hadn't a hope in hell where Odysseus was concerned, so Ajax had decided to pursue other options)
"Except Amazon House," Patroclus said mildly.
"And Cyclopes," Palamedes added.
"Cyclopes doesn't count," Ajax said impatiently, "and Amazon, well…"
"Hate your guts?" Diomedes suggested. Troy House wasn't the only house to have been wronged by Heracles. He and Hippolyta (head of Amazon House) had been the ultimate power couple, until Heracles had cheated on her and spread rumours which had turned most of her own house against her.
"But we could get Ithaca onside," Ajax pressed.
"I don't think so," Diomedes replied, "most of them go home for the holidays. And Odysseus…well he's pretty focused on studying."
"Yeah, and it's starting to look bad," Ajax said bluntly, "looks like he's only out for himself, you know."
Diomedes looked uncomfortable. The idea had occurred to him as well, but he couldn't get Odysseus to see it.
"I'll talk to him," he promised.
Ajax was relieved. He wasn't sure about Odysseus himself. Sure, the guy was clever and from what Teucer said he was decent at cricket, no one could replicate his bowling technique. But Ajax thought he seemed sneaky and deceptive, and instinctively distrusted him. Let Diomedes deal with him.
…
Nestor and Calcas found Idomeneus in the library, and approached in a pincer motion, effectively trapping him.
"What do you guys want?" Idomeneus looked round suspiciously.
They explained. Idomeneus laughed.
"And this is Agamemnon's plan? Sounds like overkill to me. It's just a dog, and a fucking ugly one at that."
He sounded contemptuous.
"Agamemnon's got this idea that it's like the kind of stunt Heracles would have pulled," Calchas ventured.
"And there was that oath we all made that time," Nestor added, "Agamemnon is holding us to it. It wouldn't look good if you didn't."
Idomeneus considered.
"Who else is coming?" He asked, after a long pause.
"Everyone who was there that night," Calchas said, "plus Achilles and Odysseus. Then Ajax is bringing the rugby team and Teucer the cricket team. Achilles and Patroclus will bring the rowing team. And there will be a few others from Mycenae House and hopefully Ithaca House too."
Nestor shot him a sideways look. Not everyone had actually agreed yet. But Calchas was feeling much the same as Ajax. If this mad scheme was going ahead, he didn't want to be the only one who had backed it when it all went pear-shaped. As he was sure it would.
"Of course," Nestor said, "it will all be down to Agamemnon really. It was his idea, and he's supplying the most people. It's his project. His claim to fame, if you will."
"I'll bring all of Crete House who are staying for the holidays," Idomeneus said. He wasn't going to be outdone by Agamemnon.
Crete was a boarding house with a big legacy. Minos had been head of house here, and he was a successful judge now. Daedalus the award-winning architect. The other Minos (names run in these old families) who had… well, maybe his legacy wasn't so great. If Idomeneus was going to be remembered, he could do with being a part of something like this.
It was all starting to come together. A gathering of students which had never been seen before in Iliad History. It would be remembered throughout the years by the entire school.