A/N: Hello! So this chapter is a break from Noel, the kitchen, and a debut for Computer in this story. A chunk of this chapter also kinda explains the weird, insecure behaviors of Courage and Noel.
Chapter 4: Computer's Musings
Courage pressed the power button to power up Computer. As Computer's screen settled into that familiar green/blue, he then immediately acknowledged Courage's presence.
"You again?" Computer whined, already sounding thoroughly annoyed. "Make it quick."
"There's this new dog that has showed up, and he's taking my life away from me," Courage typed. "Not only does he want to take everything we share for himself, but he wants Muriel all to himself, and she clearly likes him about as much as me! And every time I try to be friendly with him, he has to turn around and be a jerk right back!"
"Hmm," Computer thought. "Sounds like you've found yourself a new friend," he quipped.
Courage was on fire. "Aburufu abbahubaba apijafo burubagub!" he said to Computer in his broken speech.
"Of course I don't understand, I'm not a dog if you haven't noticed," he pointed out. "I've never had dog drama, so I cannot help you."
Courage then got more desperate. "Can you at least pretend to listen?" he asked Computer innocently.
"And why would I do that?" Computer asked in an unimpressed tone.
Courage could not take this helplessness any longer and buried his face into Computer's monitor, sobbing uncontrollably.
"Oh, my," Computer said out loud, surprised. He clearly didn't think that this bothered the dog this bad. "There there, you poor idiot," Computer effortlessly tried to comfort him.
Courage just kept crying of course.
"God you are such a twit," Computer complained. "Okay, alright, calm down you ninny! I'll pretend to listen to you if that's what you want me to do. I don't see what good it'll do, but you flesh creatures have a queer love for it."
Courage, who was now able to calm down, looked up at Computer and bear-hugged his monitor, to cry a little again.
"Oh for the love of-," Computer griped. "Why are you crying again? I just made you feel better, and now you're still soaking my hardware with your flesh creature eyeball discharge!"
"Thank you, Computer," Courage managed to choke out.
"Thank me later, twit," he responded. "Now let go of my monitor! I swear I can see the screen beginning to crack!"
Courage let go of Computer, and sat back up straight in his "chair" (literally a bucket on a chair).
"Now," Computer said back on track. "Let's start at the beginning, idiot."
"Okay," Courage said before typing again. "So really my problems started before Noel even showed up."
"You've already lost me, kid," Computer complained.
"Are you kidding me? With what?" Courage asked.
"Who is this Noel?" Computer asked sincerely.
"Oh," Courage felt dumb. "Noel is the name of the new dog."
"Okay," Computer acknowledged. "And how did you have problems before he came when he is the source of your problems?"
"I was just about to explain that if you'll give me a chance," Courage snapped.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your borrrrring story. It's about as interesting as a sack of toenail clippings," Computer whined.
"Are you going to listen or not?" Courage asked agitatedly.
"Fine, sure dog, sure," he responded, finally shutting up.
"Alright," Courage said. "Like I said before, something wasn't right before he showed up. I don't know if you were aware of it or not, but Nowhere has steadily been becoming less dangerous and scary and more normal and safe. In fact, the day before Noel came, that was consecutively day 64 of no unusual encounters for us. Even though I should have felt happy and even wanted to, I just couldn't." He paused for a moment. "I tried to convince myself it was a golden morning and a blissful day, but it just wasn't. I felt restless, as I stuck by Muriel and answered to her every need. I feared that if I didn't, I would lose her. I know it doesn't make any sense, but that's truly how I felt, and it ate me up."
"I saw her from inside of the truck as she squatted down to pet Noel, who was sitting by a Girl Scout outside of the grocery store. That's the first time we saw him. And I glared and growled at him meanly before I even knew him. I felt awful about it later, which made me feel worse. But late that night, he broke into our house and that's when we actually first met. I was scared at first, but then that jerk managed to make me mad! We fought until I tied him up and waited for Muriel. But then as we sat there and waited, I asked him what his name was. And that is when his whole personality changed for a second."
"He ditched his tough, hard facade, and I believe I was actually talking to the real Noel for a moment. It was until we talked more about his past that he put that facade back on and was a big jerk again. We got into a heated argument, and that's when Muriel showed up. I got in trouble because he was the dirty, disheveled, tied up one, and I was standing on top of him pointing an accusing finger in his face. Muriel was mad at me, and she took Noel upstairs to get a complimentary bath and bedtime. I was left in the dark kitchen alone to cry myself to sleep."
He paused for another moment to wipe a tear from his face.
"I woke up to thankfully find Muriel in a better mood. But I still had to face Noel, and a crankier Eustace. Noel tried to take all of the food, and we got into a fight, which ruined the food and made a giant mess. Eustace, who was outraged, threatened to kick BOTH of us out. And when I tried to help Muriel clean up our mess, Noel did too and would not back off when she clearly got overwhelmed. And then later when we were eating, Eustace was being rather harsh to me (as usual), and then he left when Muriel got onto him. After he left, Noel then looked over at me. As I looked into his eyes I knew it wasn't the fake "tough" Noel, but rather the softer, truer Noel."
"He spoke to me in a concerned, yet soft and innocent voice. He told me in his emotional voice that I don't deserve ANYTHING Eustace does or has ever done to me. He still hates me, but he hates Eustace FAR more. He confessed all of this to me."
His tail was wagging right now but thankfully Computer didn't seem to care or notice.
"And after I thanked him, I saw the hard jerk come back into his eyes, right before he 'accidentally' dropped the syrup bottle right into my food. After I slammed his plate of food into his face, he tripped me, and I face-planted into the hard wood floor. That's when I ran up here."
Courage's paws were shaking as he finished typing, but he was finally done crying.
"How boring," Computer groaned. "But believe it or not, I have some suggestions."
"Go on," Courage said gently.
"Alright twit," Computer said. "So it sounds to me like you have anxiety, jealousy, and depression. You always worry, Noel has seemed to worsen your jealousy, and you are trying to force yourself to be happy. You were all over your Muriel because you don't want to lose her you say? You're scared of losing her favor to someone else, not because she's in any danger. To fix your problems, just check yourself, let yourself see that the love between Muriel and Noel is harmless, and find a project to occupy your mind. And about this Noel: It sounds like he has suffered some severe mental trauma, likely from an abusive owner. And if that's the case, he's clearly refusing to come to terms with his past and emotions, thus preventing him from moving on. This all built his facade and is causing his emotions to implode, resulting in explosive interactions with you. That, or he's going crazy sharing everything with you!" Computer quipped.
"Thanks a lot!" Courage sarcastically rolled his eyes.
"You're welcome," Computer joked. "Anyways, so there are two main ways to solve this issue. Number 1: You can put up with his garbage for as long as possible and try to remain distant, but peaceful and understanding with him regardless of how he treats you. He may eventually comfortably open up to you. When that happens, don't force anything if he refuses, let him take his time, and help him process it. Be his supportive twit! Eventually, he'll feel better and will hopefully treat you better too. Now the first way is much harder than the second, and is my least favorite of the two. Now, onto my personal favorite. Number 2: Kill him."
"What?!" Courage cried in horror.
"It's very easy," Computer said. "But you must dispose of the body and other products from the body. Then you must destroy all of the evidence and possibly hire a good lawyer. Believe it or not, it's so much easier than number 1."
"I am not going to kill him!" Courage exclaimed.
"Well, suit yourself," Computer dankly said. "I have my personal favorite, but the choice is yours."
"One more thing," Courage asked. "Eustace and Noel were able to talk to each other earlier like you and I are now. Noel said because we speak English, humans should be able to understand us. But I tested it on Muriel, and it doesn't seem to work on her. Do you have any knowledge on the communication between dogs, humans, and the English language?"
"I'm surprised you haven't asked me this sooner," Computer pointed out. "Alright dog, so when you speak English to humans, it is just like another human is speaking to them, but in a slightly different frequency. Now many dogs don't speak English, which is why communication between both species is more rare. And as for your Muriel. A likely reason she could not communicate with you well is that she may not be able to hear that frequency. Not every human can hear the frequency that dog English is spoken, and others lose it with old age. Either one of those could be the case with your Muriel. That or she just has terrible hearing. I don't know, you observe and be the judge."
Courage, feeling more than content with the amount of info he received, smiled greatly at Computer. He now knew just what to do.
"Do you really have to grin like an idiot?" he complained.
"Thanks for letting me talk to you," Courage said meaningfully.
"Just being your blasted punching bag as always," he laughed. "Good luck kid."
End of Chapter
A/N: Computer therapy is REAL!