A/N: I have learned about the concept of biorhythm. It explains so much and will surely be very helpful to me.

A cursory google search will bring up Wikipedia articles that state that the biorhythm theory is pseudoscientific. I don't happen to care what Wikipedia says, because it's working for me. According to the theory of biorhythms, my emotional rhythm should reach its peaks, troughs and transition points on the same day of the week that I was born, every week. I was born early on a Monday morning, and the beginning of the week has always been my most emotionally significant time. Is it coincidence that I prefer to do all my writing and publishing at the start of the week? Possibly not.

For an even better reason to believe, I need only look at my performance today. Right now, both my emotional and intellectual rhythms are at their peaks. Coincidentally, I was able to write this entire chapter all in one day with no discomfort. The last time I tried that, it didn't work so well. Lemme do some quick math and consult my biorhythm calculator... That chapter (265, Guardians) was written when both my emotional and intellectual rhythms were in troughs. No wonder it was hard to write that day!

So, yeah. I think I'm gonna stick with this. Even if it is only coincidence and placebo effect, hey, coincidence usually turns in my favor and the placebo effect is very strong for me. And all I have to do is download a calculator that generates pretty graphs. Why not?

.

Konan

Her first life-and-death trial with Yahiko had been quick in both its planning and execution. There was little for others to see, and at the time they had other things to be curious about. It was a private settling of affairs.

Not so this time. Clone Yahiko's nervousness attracted attention and Obito was willing to explain that he'd asked Konan for special training. Clone Yahiko had the sense not to reveal exactly what that special training was, but that didn't matter. The word "special" drew them in like bees to nectar. Clone Hidan asked if spectators would be allowed.

"No spectators," Konan replied. "It is a private training."

According to reports he delivered throughout the morning, the rest of the group accepted that. Konan was very busy strategizing with Original Hidan, so she appreciated having someone else handle things for her. Clone Hidan must have sensed this, because he later reported that he had asked Clone Yahiko to take the dolls to Soye for training. Clone Yahiko had leaped at the chance. It must be very painful for him to know the sort of trial his close friend is about to face. We need to get it over with quickly.

Meanwhile, her strategizing was going poorly. Original Hidan kept pointing out flaws in her plan. That plan was this: Original Nagato was to take Obito into the forest to practice looking for spirits with the Sharingan. While they were occupied, Hidan would sneak up in such a way that Obito would perceive him but Nagato would not. He would launch a sneak attack with intent to wound Nagato.

The flaws that Hidan saw in this plan mostly had to do with his own willingness. Konan had more faith in his will to kill than he did. Hidan, as usual, hid his personal doubts behind criticisms of other people. "You need him to believe that Moonshine is seriously gonna be hurt, right? But that version of the Akatsuki doesn't think that violence is a real thing! He won't take a threat seriously until he sees blood, and maybe not even then."

"He will if he sees your face. The Sharingan can be used to read micro-muscle movements, allowing for a hyper-detailed understanding of another's feelings. If you truly harbor malicious intent, he will see it. He will believe it."

Hidan growled and lashed his tail. "You're asking me to sincerely want to hurt Moonshine, but then change my mind? I can't do that! Once i get sincere, I'm locked in."

Konan nodded. "Alright. If you cannot change your mind that quickly, that is inconvenient, but it is not deadly. This version of the Akatsuki has medical personnel."

Hidan growled again and lashed his tail even more furiously. He was running out of ways to avoid saying the direct truth. We don't have time for this. He can work on his communication issues some other time. Konan fixed him with her sternest look and said, "Hidan. I know what the real problem is. You are afraid that you cannot bring yourself to hurt Nagato."

His ears flattened back. The truth spoken so bluntly was like a harsh noise to him, but he forged on. "He thinks that's all I want to do. I've been trying to convince him it's not. Participating in this fucking trial sounds like a great way to ruin all the progress I've been making."

Konan got an idea. "You do want to hunt him and pounce on him and seize him, don't you?"

"Yeah. Just not in a blood-spilling way."

Her idea opened the gate to a flood of inspiration. Konan waited for all of the inspiration to flood in. When it was all there, she shared it. "I see a possible revision to the plan." She told Hidan what the new plan would look like. He purred.

.

She spoke with Original Nagato next. "Here is how the training will proceed. You will take Obito into the forest under the guise of having him look for nature spirits with his Sharingan. Hidan will attack at some point. Focus all your attention on the search for nature spirits. The Sharingan is useful for reading facial expressions. If you are alert to your surroundings, Obito will know it. You must genuinely have your guard down."

"I must genuinely leave myself open to attack."

"Yes."

"What if Hidan attacks with intent to kill?"

"He will not."

"How can you be sure?"

Konan furrowed her brow in confusion. "You saw his discomfort earlier as well as I did. Isn't that why you agreed to assist?"

"I saw that he was uncomfortable, but I do not understand why. I might have been wrong. He may be perfectly willing to kill me. Hidan's intentions are too difficult for me to decipher; I gave up trying a long time ago. You know this."

"They are not too difficult for me," Konan assured. "He is genuinely unwilling to kill you. Injury is possible, but death would put an end to his game, which he finds more enjoyable than you can imagine."

"He must keep me alive to torment me." Nagato hated it, but he believed it. "Very well. I will lower my guard and trust your version of Yahiko to care for my wound."

"If Obito does not stop it."

"I must plan for the worst possible outcome. If Obito passes his trial and all is well, that will be a blessing. I refuse to rely on it."

Konan nodded. "That is wise."

.

After that, she tried to meet with Obito. But something stood in her way. Or rather, someone.

Konan estimated that Madara's skill with generating auras was at least on par with Yahiko's, if not greater. He generated a malevolent, threatening aura with seemingly no effort. If Yahiko's technique is Angel Jutsu, I shall call this Demon Jutsu. It was an appropriate name. Madara's aura made him resemble the demon boy in the most crucial of aspects: they both could behave in perfectly mild and innocent ways while simultaneously keeping observers on edge. You knew in your bones that the innocent act could end and the monster could leap for your throat at any time.

Madara stood at the edge of the backyard, looking at the trees. He could not see Konan, but she did not doubt that he would know if she made the slightest movement. "Why am I here?" he asked rhetorically. "Because I understand life and death better than anyone else. I am the ultimate authority on such matters. Your proposed trial has not been agreed to until I agree to it."

"I find it hard to imagine that you are concerned with the lives and deaths of outsiders. It is Obito's welfare that matters."

"Indeed, although that is more complicated than you may think."

Madara was not the personality to be tested, so Konan saw no harm in giving him extra information. "The purpose of the life-and-death trial is to test one's reaction to the responsibility of holding another's life in their hands. Obito will be in no physical danger. He will witness someone else in peril and he will have to decide whether or not to intervene. If he intervenes, the trial is immediately over; there will be no further combat. The intervention itself is proof of courage."

Madara considered this. "Very well," he said. "We shall see what happens."

Konan waited. The Demon Jutsu faded away and the masked man's body language subtly changed in many different ways. She knew it the instant Obito took control. His arms jerked. He looked around. "Oh, Konan! Who were…" He paused, thinking of the way he had just been standing and their relative positions. "Madara."

Konan nodded. "He wished to verify that no harm would come to you."

"No harm at all? But Yahiko said that this trial was very intense."

"It can be, but I respect your weakened condition." She gestured for him to follow her. They walked around the side of the building. Konan had no destination in mind; this kind of conversation was simply better held while in motion. "Original Nagato will take you into the forest. He knows as much about the Sharingan as I do. He will supervise as you practice tracking nature spirits."

"Where does the life-and-death aspect come in?"

Yahiko told him a little too much about this. When the trial is done, I will have to speak with both of them about discretion. "You will have to find it yourself."

"If I don't, if I avoid anything that seems dangerous…"

A reasonable guess, but wrong. I'll let him believe it. Konan stopped and sighed. "There is, however, going to be an unexpected complication."

"Oh?"

She shook her head and resumed walking. "Original Hidan heard that the trial will be private. He has deduced that Original Nagato will be involved, and he very much enjoys it when they are alone or mostly alone together. I have told him to stay out of the trial, but I can't be sure he'll listen. Nagato is your safeguard; with his power, he can protect you if protection becomes necessary. If Hidan distracts him… Well, do your best to be alert. If you pass the trial, it won't matter."

"...Ah. Likes it when they are alone together. I see."

If he is smart, he is starting to suspect that Hidan's involvement is no coincidence at all. He may think that I asked Hidan to distract his guardian on purpose, to test how well Obito can handle himself without a guardian. That is not my primary motivation, but such data would be valuable.

"When will it be?" Obito asked.

"In a few hours, I think. As soon as Clone Yahiko returns with the dolls. He insisted on having medical care available."

"Oh. That's very kind." Obito sounded more shy than usual. "Does he usually insist on things like that?"

"He is the group's only medical shinobi. He must."

"Oh."

Konan stopped and turned to face him. "Prepare yourself. Speak with Itachi. He can help you understand the Sharingan's capabilities." Obito nodded. Konan dismissed him with a jerk of her head. As she watched him run off, she marveled at her own deviousness. A triple plot, three parties all seeking to manipulate each other, none knowing the true extent of the situation. This will be a trial indeed.

Obito

Obito was, indeed, starting to suspect that all was not what it seemed.

Itachi was already back from playing his guitar for the ghost children. He was not at all surprised to see Obito. "Come. Let us speak in my room." They went to Itachi's room, locked the door and settled themselves on the bed. Itachi asked, "What is it you need to know?"

Obito hesitated. "...I'm not sure, but I have some ideas."

"What do you know about this special training?"

Obito told Itachi everything that Konan had told him. He added, "I don't think Original Hidan being there is a coincidence at all."

"Obviously not. What is the real intention, then?"

Obito hesitated again. "...I think Nagato's not actually there to protect me. I think I'm there to protect him."

Itachi tilted his head. "Why do you say that?"

"It makes sense, doesn't it? I've always had a guardian by my side. I've always hid behind someone stronger. She's testing my ability to step out from behind someone else's shadow. It would be so, so easy to assume that a super-powerful person like him could handle anything. If I give in to that temptation, I'll fail. That's what I think."

"Pairing someone like you with a natural guardian is certain to lead to that scenario," Itachi agreed. "If you are correct, then Konan is sending you out into the forest to face potential dangers, which Nagato is supposed to protect you from. For your own safety, then, you must assume a guardian-like role in return, steering him away from distractions."

"Without letting Nagato know that's what I'm doing, or else he'll just guard himself and there won't be anything for me to do."

"Hmm." Itachi tapped his chin. "There is a certain Sharingan ability that you must practice, then."

"What ability?"

"Face-reading."

.

Two hours later…

Zetsu, Obito, Laurie, Itachi, Kisame and Konan were gathered in the lobby. Konan kept watch for Clone Yahiko's return. The others quietly discussed topics that were distantly and indirectly related to Obito's upcoming trial. Currently, the topic was the Sharingan's face-reading power. "What do you see?" Laurie asked Obito.

"You seem a little nervous?"

She blushed. "Th-that's true. It's just, um, instinct or something, though."

"I get it," Kisame said. "I'll be pleasantly surprised if any former NPC ever gets as comfortable with magic as they used to be."

"It's not…" Now she looked like she was in a great deal of pain. Obito wished he'd said something else. Itachi was right. You have to be careful with a power like this.

"You see why I insisted that Obito learn this skill," Itachi said to Laurie. Obito was very grateful for the subject change. "The ability to read a person might not seem to be very useful in a dangerous situation, but it is. As long as there is at least one other person in sight, Obito can consider them an extension of his own eyes and ears. If Original Nagato detects a barely-audible sound or considers a seemingly innocent object a threat, Obito will know. It will be like borrowing his training."

"Ooh. Wouldn't you two make ideal diplomats, then?" she asked.

"Perhaps, though neither of us is currently interested in such a role."

"Hey Obi, read Ani," White Zetsu said.

Obito did so. Black Zetsu put on his most stony facade. He was as good at hiding his true feelings as Kakuzu or Konan, but Obito was able to see some things. However, after his experience with Laurie, Obito was no longer sure he should announce what he saw. "Uh…"

"Not sure what you're seeing?" Kisame asked.

"Not sure that he should say what it is out loud," Itachi said. "I often have that problem. It's why I don't use the Sharingan very often."

While Kisame and Laurie were distracted, Obito edged closer to Zetsu. "Fear," he said quietly.

"I don't like being looked at too closely," Black Zetsu admitted.

"Nice job!" White Zetsu said.

"I'm amazed at how confident you all are!" Laurie exclaimed. "You all have powers that are meant to be used in battle. Even Itachi can hurt people without meaning to. How are you all so confident in what you are despite that?"

"It is as you said," Itachi replied. "They are meant to be used in battle, so we hold battles. When you have held a battle and seen exactly how damaging your abilities can be, little accidents don't seem so scary."

"He is returning," Konan announced. Everyone fell silent and turned to face the door. Obito's heart began to pound. When he walks through the door, my trial begins.

Clone Yahiko walked in. The dolls followed at his heel in an orderly line. "Warlic, Solis, Manta, Little One. Disperse," he commanded. The dolls stepped out of line and looked around. "They did well," he reported to Konan. "Soye showed them how to clip leaves, cut stems, pluck whole plants, turn stuff to mulch, and spread mulch. Their mulching was terrifying. They summoned dozens of tiny magical swords. I never really appreciated…" He left the sentence unfinished so the dolls wouldn't get any ideas, but every human in the room understood what he meant. I never really appreciated how easily these dolls could kill people.

"Good job!" Laurie said to the dolls. She knelt down and patted their heads. "I didn't know you were all learning to garden!"

The dolls waved their arms. "I think they enjoy summoning swords and burning things," Yahiko said with a smile. Obito still had the Sharingan on. He saw what kinds of thoughts lurked behind Yahiko's easygoing smile. He's afraid of what they could have become. Not for selfish reasons, though; he's afraid for them. They could so easily have been abused and turned into weapons. The more they learn to use dangerous powers, the more he wants to protect them. Obito had heard Konan's description of Soye's opinion. The vampire leader was disgusted by how the dolls had been treated like children instead of the disciplined warriors that they could be. Suddenly, Obito saw another dimension to the problem. It's because he's afraid for them! Their magical powers don't protect them from being manipulated. The more powerful they are, the bigger a target they have on their backs, and they're still too innocent to protect themselves.

Konan needed to be made aware of that. If she explained this to Soye, Soye would be less disgusted and more understanding, and they could work on strategies to protect the dolls from abuse. But that would have to wait until after the trial. Now that Yahiko had returned, Konan was all business. She beckoned for Obito and Yahiko to follow her. Yahiko commanded the dolls to Heel. They all followed Konan to the backyard.

Original Nagato waited there. Original Hidan was nowhere to be seen, but that was expected. A bowl full of water sat on the back porch. Konan indicated that Obito should stand next to Original Nagato. She told them, "If any need for healing arises, you are both to immediately return. The special training will be over." They nodded. Yahiko sat beside the bowl of water and told the dolls to disperse.

Zetsu came out the back door. "May we wait here?" Black Zetsu asked.

"Yes, of course," Konan replied. "Anyone who wishes to may wait here. The special training itself will take place in the forest."

"We heard that it's supposed to be tough," White Zetsu said. "Good luck, Obi." Obito nodded. He and Original Nagato looked to Konan for her signal. She gave it. They walked off into the forest together.

They walked in silence. It was awkward. I don't really know him very well… Obito remembered to focus his Sharingan on Original Nagato's body language. Their lack of familiarity coupled with Original Nagato's training made him very difficult to read, even with the Sharingan. He seemed tense, but that could have been because of the awkwardness. It's not going to be as easy as Itachi made it sound.

Original Nagato turned. Obito looked away, grateful that his mask made it harder to see exactly where his eye was looking. I've got to keep my head facing in a neutral direction. "Your assignment is to look for nature spirits. I am told you can detect their movements with the Sharingan."

Obito nodded. "Wind spirits, obviously. Hmm…" He looked around. There was little air movement. If a wind spirit passed by, it would stand out. Uh-oh. What do I do if I actually see one?!

"We shall walk at a slow pace. Staying in one location is inefficient, but moving too fast will distort results." Nagato started walking. Or rather, ambling.

Obito struggled to keep his head in a neutral direction, look for wind spirits and also look at Nagato's body language. Moving his eye back and forth so much made the world flash by in unusually vivid detail. Oh no! If I stress my eye too much, I could develop a blinding headache! I'll fail the trial if that happens! So he had to balance all three priorities, but do them more slowly, which involved forcibly calming himself. He nearly managed that before remembering that Original Hidan was supposed to be sneaking around. If he was sneaking, he wasn't going to appear right in front of them. That meant that Obito had to turn his head. This is hard! I don't know if I can do it!

A branch on a vine waved gently. Obito automatically stopped in his tracks. Original Nagato stopped a fraction of a second later and looked where Obito was looking. Obito tracked the mysterious breeze upward through a series of twitching leaves until it disappeared between two trees. He darted around those trees, but was too late. The breeze had vanished into open air, or perhaps the canopy. "It passed between those two trees, but then I lost it," he reported.

"Let us try that open area," Original Nagato said, pointing.

Obito let him take the lead to give himself an opportunity to look around. He spotted a black shape moving in a high tree branch ahead and to the right. The open area that Nagato walked towards was to the left. Unless Nagato stopped to look around, he was not going to notice Hidan. Good. I must keep him from noticing Hidan.

They made it to the open area. Two trees had fallen and had not yet been replaced. It would be harder for a wind spirit to vanish here. Obito dutifully looked around. His heart began to thump. Now that we're not moving, Hidan can get closer. He might even come down to the ground and announce himself. What can I do?

By making extensive use of peripheral vision, Obito was able to just barely track Hidan's progress. All he could really make out was patches of black fabric. If he's trying to distract Nagato, why is he being so stealthy?

No wind spirits made themselves apparent. Nagato suggested that they move on. They passed worryingly close to the tree that Hidan was perched in, but he didn't so much as make a sound. Why so quiet? It's as if he's hunting us…

Obito checked Nagato, wondering if the more experienced ninja had noticed anything. What he saw made him do a double take. Original Nagato had a lot of tension in his neck and kept starting to turn his head, only to jerk it back into place. Does he know? Obito saw him begin to turn his head in several directions, not just the direction Hidan was in. He doesn't know. He's not stopping himself from looking at Hidan. He's stopping himself from…from what? Looking around? Why would a trained ninja stop themself from noticing their surroundings? It's like he wants to be ambushed.

Obito began to wonder how much Konan had told Original Nagato. Could it be that she had told them different things? He clearly knows or at least suspects that Hidan - or something - is around, but he's not looking for it? Is he deliberately trying to force me to do something? Am I supposed to be the one to tell Hidan off, or…?

"Nothing?"

Eek! I'm supposed to be looking for wind spirits! Obito didn't want to fail his trial, so he blurted out the first excuse he could think of. "I'm sorry, I was distracted. Is - is it true that you and your version of Yahiko are dating?"

The entire forest seemed to go dead silent. Original Nagato stopped in his tracks. Obito blushed bright red behind his mask. No ninja was ever more clumsy than that. I'm going to fail. *whimper*

"What business is that of yours?" Original Nagato asked in a quiet but severe tone.

Obito knew he was supposed to cringe and abandon the topic. But he couldn't let Original Nagato find out the real reason for his distraction, so he held his ground. "...What's it like?"

"What is it…like?"

Angering my own guardian is the worst possible thing I could do! If I keep talking, I won't need to worry about forest dangers - he'll kill me! "It must be really nice."

Original Nagato turned around slowly. Obito averted his gaze and deactivated the Sharingan. He desperately did not want to see the depths of feeling in the other man's face. "Is it really nice?" he blundered on desperately. "Nicer than being friends was? Is - is it worth it?"

The forest remained deathly silent. Even the trees held their breaths. Obito shook like a leaf. Original Nagato said nothing for a long time. Just when Obito felt close to breaking, he finally spoke. "It's not very different from being friends."

Obito stilled his shaking hands. "It's not?"

"No."

The silence that followed felt different. More comfortable. "Then there's nothing to lose," Obito said.

"Nor anything to gain."

Obito looked up. There was so much sadness in those four words. The Sharingan was not needed; Original Nagato's sadness showed on his face. "What could be better than being accepted, truly accepted, for all the parts of me, not just one or two?"

Original Nagato looked away. "There are some things he can never accept."

I shouldn't push. I shouldn't. But… I hardly know him. This is a chance to change that. "What sorts of things?"

"Yahiko is content with the current state of affairs. He will never push for anything more. If you wait for him, you will be waiting a long time."

Obito reflected on that. Is it true? He pushes me all the time. Pushes me to become better, stronger, more like the me I want to be. Original Yahiko seems to be the same way. He thinks that Nagato is wonderful. He pushes. What is Nagato talking about?

"He seems plenty pushy to me."

"Only in the way of friends. Be careful; if you offer him your heart, he will not take it. Not easily, not without reluctance."

"I don't understand. Are you saying you wish he was more like Hidan?"

The trees held their breath again. Obito sensed that he should avert his gaze. What? Did I say something wrong? "More like Hidan?" Original Nagato sounded both disgusted and angry, offended.

"Hidan's the total opposite of reluctant. He keeps chasing you. He's always pushing."

"His interest in me is not remotely romantic."

Obito scratched the back of his head. "The Sharingan allows me to read faces and body language with super-detailed precision. I could take a look at him, tell you if that's true or not. I owe you for helping me make up my mind."

The silence dragged on. Eventually, Original Nagato scoffed. "Hidan is not tender or caring. He is a predator. The only way to coexist with him is to constantly fight him off, which I have no interest in." He turned away. "Let us keep moving."

This is why Hidan's sneaking around instead of coming down to talk. That's the only way he can get close. Obito trudged after his guardian, feeling very sad. It doesn't have to be like that. It's a misunderstanding. With my Sharingan, I can see what the truth is. If only I can persuade him to let me look -

Wait a second! Why did Konan tell me what Hidan wanted? Why did she tell me to go see Itachi, who knows all about face-reading? Why did she put the three of us into this situation? Is my true trial to help them reconcile?

A plan formed in his mind. "I won't believe that until I see proof of it," Obito said.

"One look at him should show you what kind of person he is."

"I know he's a predator. But some predators are gentle and caring, like lions."

Nagato stopped and whirled around. "What business is this of yours?" he snapped.

"Ask Konan! I don't know why she set me up like this."

Nagato blinked. In that moment, when his guard was well and truly down, a flash of black descended from the treetops. Nagato saw it too late. He tried to dodge, but Hidan already had a firm grip on his arms. They fell to the ground. Hidan recovered his balance first and grabbed the very base of Nagato's neck where it joined his shoulders. Nagato gasped. Hidan snarled. Then he lunged.

Obito averted his eyes, blushing again. He heard Nagato let out a muffled yelp. Several seconds passed with nothing further: no pained cries, no smell of blood, no sign of violent attack at all. "I like that you can fight me off," Hidan muttered. "But you don't need to prove it all the time. Only when I deserve it." Nagato made another muffled yelp, but quieter.

…Does this mean I passed?

.

Konan observed the lack of injuries. Obito's Sharingan-enhanced vision told him that she was pleased. He and Nagato had returned alone; Hidan took a different path. Clone Yahiko, Zetsu, Itachi, Kisame, Original Yahiko, Kakuzu, and Sasori had all gathered on the back porch to witness the verdict. "He passed?" Konan asked.

"According to my judgment, yes."

Clone Yahiko jumped to his feet and cheered. He raced off the porch to give Obito a hug before Obito could say a word. Obito hugged him back, unafraid of doing so in public. Everybody already knew or would find out soon, anyway. He noticed that Itachi had the Sharingan active.

Itachi wasn't watching Obito, though. He studied Original Nagato. Without saying a word, he got up and went inside. Nobody noticed. They were too busy offering congratulations. When possible, that's the best way.

.

A/N: *chef's kiss*

Now that I am done writing this chapter, I can...eat dinner and go to bed because it's actually rather late. But tomorrow, I can finish watching the first season of Netflix's live-action Avatar: The Last Airbender! It is good! Definitely worth watching!

Rrr.