Fuck's sake, Florabel, stop fucking screaming!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Florabel!

PRAY TELL WHAT COUNTENANCE THOU WOULDST TAKE IF THINE OWN MOTHER WERT TONGUING THY MOUTH

Your mother?!

And tonguing her mouth she was. Dear god.

KILL THYSELF

POSTHASTE

The not-corpse's lips popped away from her own, a scandalous line of saliva drawn from mouth to mouth.

The body that was either Weiss' or Ruby's surged forward in a frenetic, twitching burst of will, her hands thrashing out. The thing in the corpse—

SUMMER

Summer jerked back in Ruby's body, one leg swinging up to roughly slam all her thin, birdy toes into the underside of Weiss' chin. It was disgraceful, the way she used them— bluntly, as one does with a steel toed boot— without any context of avian living. Easily she could have clawed her trachea agape if she had only a moment's breadth of life as a person betaloned.

Still, getting kicked in the chin hurt like a bitch and sent her sprawling back. Her arms twitched out of concert, trying with two wills at once to scramble in different directions, each searching for the sword they must've landed inches from. Her vision split as her eyes looked around on their own, the sight so discomforting that it made her stomach churn. "God damn it— same bullshit— as last we— had to do this— faecal farce!"

Let me have the left arm!

NAY, TIS MY SIDE OF DOMINANCE

Mine too, you— you— you penis!

THOU ART THE PENIS

A long, deep sigh stretched out of Ruby's lungs, the girl's body languidly coming to its feet as her arms pulled up over her head. Her back bent into an intense curve, her neck swinging around— a cat waking up to a world ripe for bullshittery. "Welp, that's my revenge," not-quite-Ruby's-voice said. "Oh— oh, god, you sound weird."

There was a clang on Reiss/Wuby's left, and all two bodies' worth of will in her body jerked her towards it, hands scrambling until her palms met metal.

Back up and shore up!

MAKE SIEGE UPON MY CORPUS

Her body, as one would expect, did not know what the fuck to do. All she managed was to hold out her knife— and it was the knife, the one she'd yanked out of her dead partner and basically deepthroated—

THOU DIDST WHAT

She kept the point on Summer— tried to, but Summer was gone, then back in a wild explosion of scarlet petals. The scythe—

BELAFLOR REAPS GREATEST OF THE LANDS MOST SULLIED

What?

'TIS THE SCYTHE'S NAME

Like, as in Saint Belaflor?

THOU KNOWEST?

You don't?

OF COURSE I DO

God, who even names their weapons.

VERILY

The scythe (which had a name that was way too long) slammed hard into the stone, the autocannon's barrel level with her skull.

BE NOT AFRAID

'TIS UNLOADED

She's looking at me like it isn't.

'TIS A BLUFF

'Tis it?

THOU CANST NOT MAKE LIGHT OF THINE OWN DIALECT

I'll do whatever I—

With a sound like steel mills fucking, Summer pulled the thing—

PULL-BOLT

The pull-bolt from the other thing—

RECEIVER

THOU KNOWEST THIS MUCH

Which shunted a thing—

ROUND

THOU FUCKEST WITH ME

Jeez, took ya long enough.

"That thing—" she grit out— "'tis not— you got no fucking bullets."

Summer grinned like a person who very much did have bullets. "It's so funny you think that."

"That's— that doth not— bullshit!"

Summer's grin fell— very, very slightly. Her eyes hardened. "Ruby— I'm assuming you can hear me— I'm giving you this one chance to get back in here. I'm gonna have to be in the driver's seat for a while— until we've got things straight and figured out— but you can come back once we do. I promise." She let the scythe drop slightly, one hand extending to the daughter who was also someone else's daughter. "Just come here and we'll get everything right, okay?"

ALLOW ME

Oh hell no—

YE OF LITTLE FAITH

SPARE ME BUT A SHARE

The Weiss part of Ruby (or the Ruby part of Weiss), for once, gave way for her partner—

Hey!

Her twitching came to a halt all at once, sudden limpness taking her body to the floor. "A-aye—"

Summer squinted. "What?"

THOU NEEDEST MAKE SPEECH

AT LEAST 'TIL OUR FEET ART BENEATH US

She cleared her throat. "Y-yeah, uh.. fuckin'... yeah. Okay."

'TIS HARDLY—

This is literally exactly how you speak. You curse like an edgy sailor.

"I'm— hooh, shit— I'm getting up."

Summer watched her rise, grinning, scythe relaxing further. The hand that'd once been Ruby's stretched further towards her, bobbing indicatively. "That's my girl."

Ick.

She laughed nervously, trying very hard not to think about how the situation had been borderline (far past borderline) incestuous some one or two minutes past. "A— ah-ha, uh… yeah."

Summer frowned. Her shoulders stiffened.

SHE KNOWS

PANIC NOT

She accidentally said aloud, "What?" but the world was already dipped in an acid blur, a motion-sick drain pulling her into a gravity well— a fast-lane through reality— before dumping her out somewhere else. She was already moving again before she caught herself, limbs seizing with reignited conflict, her body caught bending over, hand wrapping around her sword's handle— Weiss' sword's handle.

RELINQUISH THYSELF LEST WE REACQUAINT WITH DEATH

I literally just killed you— gimme the arms!

I ALLOWED IT

Bullsh—

Thankfully, both the wills in her skin managed to get her sword up in time to catch the absolute fucking freight train that was Summer's scythe. Blocking the blow left her uncut, but the sword in her left and the knife in her right were both slammed into her sternum from the force, the metal hunk behind them knocking all the air from her lungs as she was sent flying into a wall.

She felt her ribs bow at the impact, making her cough blood as they stabbed into her lungs, but the piercing pain of it faded just as soon as it'd come. She looked down at herself— one eye did, but the other eye stayed up, making her jerk her swords up again to catch that diesel-powered guillotine of a scythe. Her ribs, freshly healed, smarted as her torso was pressed against the wall once more. Summer leaned forward, her face hard.

"You tricky little—"

A cold wind filled the cellar. Two bodies, four eyes, three wills turned in concert. And Whitley, too. He was there.

"Ruby! What's—" Raven's voice tapered into nothing.

There, stepping out of an old-blood-colored portal, was mom. Ruby's mom. And her sister. Ruby's sister. And her uncle. Ruby's uncle. And Blake, too, whose arrival wasn't specific to Ruby, except for that one shitty date they had. So technically the opposite of special. In the frankest of terms: since Weiss was so abysmally bereft of any familial connection, she could be allowed a claim to Blake. In this instance.

Hey! I've got Whitley! And Winter! I don't want Blake!

DOST THOU NOT THINK BLAKE IS COURTABLE

What? Fuck no! She's an asshole!

THEY

Whatever! More important things!

Raven observed the scene with stark confusion. "Uh… Ruby? What's going on here? I thought I felt you panicking. You and…" her eyes fitted around the room, searching, coming up naught. "Someone else. Good to see you, Weiss, I hope you two do this regularly?"

"She's trying to kill me!" Summer squawked, pointing to the big splotch of slightly-darker red on her dress. "She stabbed me in the ribs!"

Raven blinked, sheathing her sword as she turned to the other girl. "That true, kid?"

"A-aye!" the girl in question blurted. "I mean—"

Raven beamed so brightly that it made her blink. "Nice! Good job, Weiss!"

The scythe's pressure let up slightly, its wielder turning to her wife (who honestly deserved better) with a look that lacked any comprehension whatsoever. "What?"

After a second, the girl who was technically (and very literally) two girls understood.

Oooooohhh, she really doesn't know shit, huh.

Raven approached, pushing herself between the girls with a big, proud grin. "And you didn't even kill her! Honestly, Weiss, you've got my blessing."

Her face was aflame. "That— uh—"

Raven threw an arm over her shoulders, motioning for Ruby's body to follow as she walked with the girl who was and wasn't her daughter.

She ground her feet to a halt. "W-wait, m-my— the boy over yon."

Raven looked around the room, finding Whitley after a moment. Her relieved look died at the boy's condition. "Damn," she muttered. "Is that Ruby's cloak?"

"Yes," one of her managed to answer.

"Good. She usually gets too caught up in stuff for the, uh… empathy thing. Or sympathy. She's kinda like her mom— my wife, I mean."

The two-souled girl managed to wrench her neck around and look at the body that didn't belong to Summer.

"She's just… she's still got room to get better, y'know? My Sum was… kinda set in her ways." Raven bent towards her and whispered, "Look, I'm not saying it's a 'you can fix her' situation— there's nothing to fix, my baby's perfect— but there's a certain, uh… seasoning you can add, y'know?"

She watched Yang hook an arm around Summer's neck, grinning and pulling her along. After a nod from Raven, Qrow and Blake set to coaxing Whitley out of his cage.

"I mean, I heard you're kind of a massive racist, but you're clearly doing pretty well with Ruby— trying to kill each other at, what, 18? 19? God I'm jealous— I imagine you've had your own kinda personal growth, maybe rub that off on her every once in a while."

Summer threw Yang's arm off her shoulders, her scythe still unfurled. She started stomping towards them.

"Speaking of rubbing off, you guys are being safe, right? I dunno if you need protection or anything— I'm not gonna assume, y'know, knowing my— well nevermind that, just, uh… fuck, I'm being weird, I'm sorry, I'm just trying to be a better— ohthankgod— Ruby!"

"Slaves," Summer said in a rush, shouldering her way between them. "There are slaves here— Faunus slaves. We have to get them out."

Raven blinked, her face contorting with equal-parts rage and confusion. She glared sidelong at the face that, objectively, was Weiss'. "Seriously? Slaves?"

She floundered to respond, willful souls conflicting. Summer didn't.

"She's been keeping Faunus slaves! She— she tried to get me! That's why we were fighting!"

Raven turned fully, backing off. One hand came to rest on her handle, though she eyed her daughter's puppetted corpse with more than a little doubt. "Ruby… I thought she got kidnapped, coming here."

Yang joined their fucked-up pow-wow. "Uh… mom? What're you guys talking about?"

Ruby's body leapt away, scythe pointing at Weiss. "I'm serious! I thought she was but she's not! She's evil! And— and racist!"

Yang snorted. "Uh… yeah. We all know she's kinda racist."

"She keeps slaves!"

Raven cocked her head. "Ruby… I… I hate to break it to ya, but I don't think this is on her. You seriously need to give your partner the benefit of the doubt— I mean look at her. She's scared shitless right now."

Was she? She could barely feel what her face was doing, but it definitely seemed like it could be abject horror.

Summer finally got a little wild in the eyes. "She— I'm serious! She stabbed me!"

Raven turned to Weiss— Weiss' body that had Ruby in it (and Weiss, but what's the difference anyway). "Is that really why you stabbed her? For slavery reasons?" she asked, clearly not believing it herself.

It was the most she could do to shake her head, which Raven thankfully accepted.

"See?" the woman said easily. "I believe her. Yang? You believe her?"

Yang shrugged, but nodded. "Yeah, if she were slavery-racist she wouldn't be, uh… actually she might do that if she were slavery-racist… huh." She cupped her chin in thought, waving them off. "B-but no… no. I think she's okay. Trying to be okay, at least."

Raven reached over to affirmingly pat her daughter/wife on the back. "I think you might be overreacting, fledgeling."

Summer smacked her hand away, furious, "Don't call her that!" she shook her head. "And stop gaslighting me! Swear to the Second, I'm telling the truth! I've got a stab wound to show for it!"

Raven recoiled. She blinked hard. "What? Swear to what?"

"Swear to god!" Summer corrected, as if nothing had happened. "Swear to whatever! Who cares, just— god, Rae! You're being such an asshole right now, just listen to me and let's go! Just tie Weiss up and leave her here, who cares! As long as she is not behind me, not actively a threat to my safety, we can go free the fucking slaves!"

Raven's eyes flicked towards the girl who wasn't her wife, but also wasn't really her daughter, but also really was. Her arm whipped out, sword flashing, its edge stopped only by a crimson Aura.

Ruby's crimson Aura. On Weiss' body. Her heart slammed in her chest. "I don't know what the hell is going on," Raven grumbled, whirling ninety degrees to put the sword to Summer's neck instead. "But you're not my kid."

A giant sigh convinced both the girls in Weiss' body to let it out. She sagged with so much relief that both her swords nearly tumbled out of her hands.

Thank god.

I ASSURE THEE, 'TWILL WORSEN

What?

NO LONGER DOTH MY MOTHER NEED PRETEND

Summer slammed her wife's thin sword away, forcing Yang to retreat with her wide backswing. She took the opportunity to gain distance, scythe bearing between targets wardingly.

Blake and Qrow had stopped, turning with their own weapons drawn. Still, seeing the situation, they affixed their focus on Ruby's body. Summer's grey eyes— grey, not the molten silver of her child— slowly drifted between them. Her lips moved slowly.

"None of you get what's going on here, do you?" came Ruby's voice— too smooth, too even, not at all like the terrible, squeaky, gravel-throated monster Weiss' soul could really recognize. "That— that is so… you're really all just stupid, godless little idiots, aren't you?"

Yang squawked, "Hey!"

Summer lined the scythe's— autocannon's— barrel with her step-daughter. "Don't you hey me, you little bastard. Just be glad I managed to get some faith in you before your slut mom and poor dad could rob you of anything redeeming!" She spat at Yang's feet, hissing, "I never should've let you in my home— you know what a disgrace it is to have a walking reminder of my wife's infidelity? Especially one as loud and bright as you?"

Blake stepped between them, half-shielding Yang with their body. "Wtf, dude! Literally who tf do u think u are?"

Summer scoffed at them, preparing another salvo of insults (potentially slurs) before she was interrupted.

"S— Summer?" Raven audibly quaked, weapon shaking in her hands. "What— I thought— I felt you, but— this doesn't make any sense— what's—"

Summer barely regarded her own wife. "Oh, shut up. Be glad: you can sleep around with whoever you want now." She snorted. "As if that was stopping you before."

Raven made a noise of severe affront. "I thought we—"

"Were past that? You think I would ever get past my things getting misused?"

Weiss cringed. Ruby did, too, so the expression on her collective face was very repulsed.

Holy shit, Florabel, your mom is—

A COLOSSAL CUNT

AYE