What does Lyle really feel about his sister? I added his POV at the end.

I'm writing this a bit AU – it's just the way the story is going.

Please leave a review if you'd like to even if it's to tell me how to improve or what you would like to see happen.

'What now?' I ask, standing in the spacious drive.

He flashes me another dazzling smile accompanied by a little frown of confusion on his handsome face. 'What? What do you mean? I'm going inside now to call Jamie.'

He must have noticed my falling face. He closes the short distance between us and right in front of that sprawling house I hated, and takes my chin in his fingers. But I'm irritated with him and jerk away.

'Aw, come on. You're cute when you're angry.' He tries to joke and make light of my feelings of hurt and betrayal. Was he playing with me the whole time?

'Go then and phone your stupid girlfriend! You're obviously dying to!'

He shrugs. 'Seriously, what's got into you? I thought we had a nice time.'

'So did I.' I brush past him rudely and sprint up to my room ignoring my parents who'd been listening in the hall to everything that had passed between us. Didn't he realise that?

'Erika?' Dad's concerned voice follows me up the stairs. 'Did you two have a fight or something?'

I don't answer.

Of course, my father uses the argument with my brother as an excuse to come and 'check on me'. I hear Mom call after him, 'Get it out of her. I don't want her miserable face curdling the cream at the dinner table.'

I sigh. That means pasta carbonara probably. Last time she made it, Lyle and I had exchanged looks then burst out laughing when we saw the mostly empty bottle of white wine she'd put on the table. We knew where most of the wine had gone…down her throat while she was 'cooking', probably hardly in the creamy sauce.

'What is going on?' Dad's look of thunder stopped us in our tracks back then as he shook his head in disgust. 'Lyle, what have learned today during your studies?'

Our hilarity descends into a tense silence as Dad cross-examines him. He always wants to know that he has done something productive every day. Me too.

It's just a few minutes later when he's not satisfied with his answer and notices we are just picking miserably at the mushy, overcooked spaghetti with its burnt black bits of bacon.

He glares at us and then slams the table with both fists making both of us flinch but mom only smirks and tosses back the rest of her glass. We can tell she's too half-cut to really react. 'Your mother has gone to a great deal of effort to cook us a delicious meal. You will eat all of it!'

Lyle nodded. 'Sure, Mom. It's great.' He even managed to say this with a straight face then made a great show of digging in.

I glanced at our father a little fearfully. He nodded sternly and watched me under his heavy eyebrows. 'That goes for you especially, Erika.' I follow my brother's lead while trying to suppress my nausea.

'Yes, mom. It's …it's my favourite.'

She sat back and her hard features relaxed. 'Good.' Then she scowled as she picked up the wine bottle and realised it was mostly empty. 'Damn! I'll go and get us another one from the cellar.'

'Allow me.' Dad courteously offered and pulled back his chair slowly to get up.

That was then and this is now and I cringe as I hear his footsteps on the stair. Before I can steel myself, he throws open my bedroom door in rage before he immediately locks it from the inside. Uh oh…he's angry. Doesn't seem to care that Lyle might is nearby but no doubt he's engrossed in his phone conversation with the stupid bimbo as I call her in my head. Even as I feel guilty for my lack of charity.

Because Jamie isn't…she's quite nice really, giving me make up and fashion advice. She's always friendly to me but knowing they're talking right now hurts like hell. Now I have to face Dad and satisfy him. My heart is still heavy with disappointment at Lyle who really seemed to like me more than his little sister but I was wrong.

I meet my father's eyes as long as I dare to trying to gauge what type of 'sex' he's going to demand from me before dinner. His loud entrance suggests his angry and wants to take something out on me.

'Where did you go with your brother today?'

I tell him.

'A nice, cosy picnic just the two of you?'

'Yes, Dad.'

'What did you two do together?'

My mind races to give him just enough detail but not too much and avoid saying anything that will set him off. He sounds like he's jealous like he senses something going on.

Luckily, he seems satisfied with my answers but my relief unfortunately doesn't last long.

'Strip!'

I do as he asks as quickly as I can, just wanting to get it over. I pray that he won't want 'rough sex' or even 'full nice sex' because that would take too long when it was dinner soon.

But he tells me to slow down. 'Take your bra off slowly. Do a twirl, let me see.'

I swallow hard and shut my eyes under my bangs as I unclip the scarlet lacey underwear. It's part of a matching underwear set and I curse myself for wearing them today. I tried not put on deliberately provocative clothes usually. But today was different…I'd bought the set for my brother…

'Nice.' He murmurs his appreciation and I want to puke right there and then. His greedy eyes rake all over my exposed body and I want to die.

'Now your panties.' He barks at me raspily. 'Let them drop.'

The pervert gasps and touches himself when I do let my exy underwear fall to the floor.

I'm thinking, I'd do all this for Lyle if he asked me. I'll do anything he wants even rough sex. But I know he would never ask me for that because he wouldn't want to hurt me. He's not like Dad.

I shudder.

'Damn it.' Jose takes his hungry eyes off me reluctantly and glances at his gold-plated, diamond-encrusted 10 000 - dollar Rolex hanging off his wrist. I know what it cost because Lyle and I got it for his last birthday. Well, we bought it with his credit card but he considerately glossed over it when we handed it to him all wrapped up. I've seen him kiss it in front of his bathroom mirror before he puts it on after he shaves and for some reason it hurts my chest to know he does this every day.

However, I cheer inside while I stand there naked in the middle of the room and watch him frown at the watch. 'Damn it. Why did the stupid bitch decide to cook today of all days? No time.'

I keep my face neutral and also resist the natural instinct to try to hide my 'treasures' from my father's prying eyes.

'Don't hide them!' He snaps.

I move my hands away.

'Kneel.'

I get down on my knees.

'Closer.' He crooks his forefinger and beckons me.

Feeling worthless, I reluctantly crawl towards him on my hands and knees.

He forces me to take him in my mouth and guides my movements. It seems to take forever and doing any of my usual tricks to speed him up is too risky, the mood he's in. He'll know and punish me severely. Afterwards, he doesn't let me spit on a towel like he sometimes does but forces me to swallow.

He leans back in the wicker chair and looks down at me with disgust. But his feelings towards me are nothing compared to my own self-loathing that flares up again every time he forces me to perform a sex act on him. It never goes away actually – it's always there on slow burn in the background. The only time it faded was when I was with Troy and with Lyle – when my brother was making me feel special and the centre of his world.

Except now I knew I wasn't.

'Why don't you sleep in your own bed at night? Where are you?'

He knows but he's pretending he doesn't. And if I lie…He's trying to trap me. Sexual frustration…I know a silly little blowjob won't satisfy him now when I've been avoiding him.

I decide I have to tell him the truth. Especially when he reaches down to the floor and starts pulling his belt out through the hoops on his coudroys…

I shrug casually. 'I sleepwalk sometimes and end up in Lyle's room.'

'Every night since he's been back?' He glares at me with eyes black like a tarpit and it scares me. 'Do you expect me to believe that? And why don't you walk out and come back to your own bed?'

'I'm scared of the dark and I can't sleep here…' Now I give him half-truths instead of outright lies…I am not scared of sleeping with the lights off…I'm terrified …but of him. And Jose knows it, his mouth working silently proves it. Meanwhile, a pool of drool gathers in the right corner of his mouth like a vicious dog dying of hydrophobia and I look away in disgust.

He glances at my door and hearing no sounds from mom or my brother, grins and folds over his belt in one hand slowly and deliberately. I pray that my brother will come in and see what he's doing to me…I always want him to but somehow Jose can sense when Lyle is distracted…

I try not to look at it as he deliberately starts smacking the doubled-up piece of expensive brown leather in his palm in a steady rhythm.

'And what do you do in his room?'

'I sleep in his bed.'

'You sleep in the same bed as your brother!' His voice rises and he raises the belt. 'Just sleep? Does he touch you?' Now the spittle that's collected on his mouth goes flying in my direction.

'No, of course not!' I blush crimson.

'I don't believe you. Whore!' He raises his belt high above his shoulder and spits in my face!

I try to backpaddle in panic. 'Dad! Don't! We just sleep, I promise! Lyle can hear…!'

But he's not listening.

'Slut! You'd give your brother mouth massages? Let him touch you? Let him…? He brings it down on my shoulder with a crack. 'Does Lyle give mouth massages to you?' He roars in outrage.

My skin immediately breaks open and I react with a scream. He hasn't beaten me in a long while and I guess he's missing it. Plus, having sex with me.

I want to yell back, 'Yes! He does! But I want him to! I hate it with you!' But as usual I can never speak back to him.

'Shut up!' He hisses at me. 'You scream or cry and it'll just go on longer. Be grateful I'm not fucking you to teach you your place, slut!'

Oh, he must be really furious to call it that.

I hold back my screams but I can't stop the tears as he lays into me. Lashing me 3 or 4 times and grabbing me by the hair and yanking me up on to my knees until I'm lying there bleeding. He graciously allows me to curl up in a foetal position and protect my stomach with my arms. The he throws the lash away and kicks me a few times.

By the time he's done with me, I'm reduced to a bleeding, sobbing and quivering mess.

'You will not sleep in his room anymore, do you hear! I want you here, sleeping in your own bed that I bought you with my own money. Money that I earned, more than you ever done.'

I don't even look at him but curl up tighter.

'Did you hear me?' He hisses down at me as he yanks on his clothes. Picks up the belt and puts it on again.

'Yes.'

'Yes, what?'

'Yes, Sir.' He grabs my chin roughly and forces me to look up at him. 'And I want you to stay away from your brother from now on.'

I'm screaming in my head, my argument with Lyle all forgotten. You can't say that. He's the only one who makes my life worth living around here! I'll die if you take my brother away from me!

Then ominously, he ends with, 'I'll be back here later. I haven't finished with you yet, young lady.'

Chest heavy full of dread, I turn away and cry silently into my pillow as soon as I'm alone.

And relatively safe for the moment.

When I feel a little calmer, I puke in the toilet and flush it like I always do whenever my father makes me swallow.

And often when he doesn't even do that.

A couple of hours later, Mom comes in with a couple of painkillers. 'Dad said you were feeling sick…too unwell to come down to dinner.' She puts her cool hand to my forehead. 'You're not hot…'

I pull away from her.

She tuts and puts a glass of water with some water biscuits and cheese with a salad garnish. 'In case you feel hungry later.'

I shake my head. 'Mom…Can you get me something…To help me sleep?'

She looks at me funny. 'I just gave you some.'

'No, I mean…Some of your pills?'

She laughs. 'What's wrong with you, Erika? Did Lyle upset you today? Is that why you were arguing and now you're pretending to be sick?'

I cross my arms over my bosom. 'I'm not pretending! I feel sick and can't sleep…'

'OK.' She smiles almost motherly at me and I'm thinking either her new happy pills are kicking in or she's drunk 3 bottles of wine instead of her usual 2…

'Mom…' I wheedle.

'OK. I'll get you some. A couple, OK?' She smiles at me and I think maybe she does love me after all especially when she pats my shoulder even though it hurts like hell.

I flinch away. 'Ow!'

She frowns but doesn't ask what's wrong.

I don't want to tell her anyway. My life would be forfeit if I ever told anyone what my father was doing to me. Hadn't he told me he'd kill me enough times?

She comes back and watches me take them. She even holds the glass of water for me!

'Good night,' She says before she flounces out, white silk dressing gown flowing behind her.

I needed those happy pills so that when my father came in later for the rest of his booty call, I wouldn't care what he did to me.

I lay back and switched off the main light but keep my bedside lamp on waiting for them to kick in. I try to read a short novel we're reading in English but the words keep swimming and I give up and put it aside. It's also hard to lay comfortable without my cuts from the belt whipping hurting too much and the bruises on my legs but at least the sting has dulled to a low ache.

Then I hear footsteps coming closer to my room. I tense up immediately, sure it's Dad at first and my mind makes it so.

Until I notice with a deep sense of relief that they're faster than Jose's slow death-knell steps and the person is lighter. It's Lyle! Lyle's come to see me!

He opens the door gently and closes it behind him and leans against the wall.

'I heard you were too sick to come down to dinner tonight but I thought…Maybe you're still mad with me and that's why…'

I beam at him and shake my head. I could never stay mad with my brother for too long and anyway, to expect him to have romantic feelings for me was crazy and sick.

Crazier and sicker than what my own father was doing to me?

I had to bury my unnatural feelings down deep.

'Sorry, Lyle. I guess…I was just in a weird mood after the picnic. I don't even know why.'

He looks worried and comes to sit next to me on my bed. 'But why? We had fun.'

Too much fun. The way you were touching me but not touching me…not like our Dad…You led me on…

But did you? Maybe you don't even know what you're doing or the effect you have on me…

I shake my head to try and clear it from all the conflicting emotions. Especially when he takes my hand in his and my heart skips a beat. And where his tanned skin is touching my pale one is on fire…pleasantly….

Can't he feel it every time he touches me?

Apparently not. He acts like this is all normal.

'Come here.' He puts his arm around my waist to pull me to him and I'm not expecting it but I should have been because it's what he always does whenever we're alone lately and I hiss in pain.

'Shit! What did I do?' He pulls away, eyes open wide with concern.

'Nothing.'

'E, are you hurt? Did someone hurt you?'

My heart's thumping in my ears in panic…surely he can hear it? Dad didn't usually beat me when he was around but now he'd been expelled from Princeton, he was lying low and at home most of the time….Jamie was away in her college….so were his friends ….

I smile up at him. 'No, of course not. I fell over.'

'Where?'

'On…On my side.' I slap the upside of my own head. 'I'm such a dumbass…I tripped and fell…And by the way, Dad has sex with me and whipped me with his belt earlier just like he used to do to you and told me I can never speak to you ever again and that'll he be in to finish 'dealing with me later.'. He knows where I've been these past nights…In your bed and he accused you of the most despicable things, Lyle…Things he does to me actually…

But I can't say any of this.

'Would you let me see?'

I shake my head, make my eyes all big and innocent for him as I tell him my cover-story. 'You don't need to, Lyle…really. It was just a dumb accident…I tripped on the porch and fell…'

'E, I need to see.'

He starts to pull back the cover but I stop him. 'No, don't.'

'Just show me.'

'It was Dad!' I suddenly blurt out.

His eyes go black like our father's does and his face flushes red with rage.

'What did he do to you?' His lips are set in a grim line so tight they turn white.

'Please, Lyle. Don't be mad. It was my fault…I provoked him…'

'Sh. Just let me see, OK?'

'Promise you won't say anything?'

He nods briefly and I reluctantly lifted up my pink silk pyjama top to show him the long cut where he'd got me on my protruding ribs. He hasn't even seen the rest of me.

'Fucking bastard!' He immediately leaps up. 'Is that from his belt?'

'A few lashes. Then he kicked me…'

'What was his lame excuse?'

It was over you, actually because I crawl into your bed at night so he can't fuck me…

I shrug and lie. 'You know how he gets sometimes. Doesn't need a reason.'

'Does Mom know?'

I shake my head and give him a sad smile. 'Do you think she would really care if she did? You know we can never talk to her about him.'

'Yeah, I know. But you're a…well, you're…' Endearingly, my confident and popular big brother seems almost shy and tongue-tied.

'A girl? Do you think that stops him?'

He clenches his fists at his sides and hisses his contempt. I can hardly believe what I'm seeing. He worships the ground our father walks on, idolises him or so it always seemed until it came to me.

Up to the point that Jose actually hurt me.

'The fucking coward.'

He almost rushes out of the door.

'I sit up in panic. Maybe I'd even started to get almost drowsy but I knew what he was going to do next and I had to stop him.

'Don't.' I grab his arm.

'I'm only going to talk to him. Tell him not to do it again.'

'Lyle…' Now I patted the bed. 'Come and stay here with me. Or take me to your room. I'm scared that'll he come back…'

He wavers and clearly he's torn between wanting to comfort me and confront our father right now. But when I pull back the cover for him to get in, he unclenches his fists at his sides and sighs in resignation. 'I guess it can wait until morning. But I'm going to make sure he never hurts you again. Permanently.'

I grow pale with fear. 'What…What do you mean, Lyle? What are you going to do?' Because his eyes are bottomless pools of tar again and he looks angry enough to kill our father. And he doesn't even know about the sex stuff he makes me do to him…and that he has all kinds of sex with me…

To placate him, I stroke his arm and snuggle into him on my good side. I wince when he slings one arm casually over my hurt shoulder and I curse myself for not turning the other side.

'He hit you there too?' Now's he toying the top of my top between his two fingers.

I nod. 'But don't worry. Mom gave me some of her pills and I can barely feel anything anymore. Only…only when you…if someone touches me there.'

'Then I better not touch you there.'

I don't know what to say to that. It's almost as if he's hinting at something else…and my heart starts galloping again and I get fluttery butterflies in my stomach…The place Jose didn't hurt me…

'Did he get you anywhere else?'

I nod and his hisses another curse at him under his breath.

'Where?'

'I don't want to talk about it. Let's just sleep, OK?' I turn over onto my 'good' shoulder and my hip his belt didn't reach.

'Fine.' He reaches to spoon me very carefully from behind. 'This OK?'

'Yes.' I murmur sleepily. It's as if his touch can reduce my pain. It does.

I feel his breath tickling the back of my neck while his hand starts to reach down lower. I hold my breath, wondering what he's going to do even if I'm not scared…exactly.

It's not like …Lyle can never be like…Jose and I'm not afraid of his touch. I feel so safe now that I don't even think about Dad's promise to return and finish what he started even though I know he will.

I guess I just don't care as the pills and sleepiness finally take over.

Lyle's breathing slows and grows deep and regular like he's asleep but his hand comes to rest in the shallow cave of my stomach. Just like yesterday at the picnic. I'm not wearing my bra and panties…the ones Dad forced me to take off…I couldn't face putting it on again and why would I? Just to go to bed…

I let his hand stay there.

I also notice how he's left a decorous distance between my backside and his well…his privates. He's never held me in this position from behind and it's only because of my injuries.

The door opens and I'm immediately awake like I always am. It seems that no matter how exhausted I am or how much I'm hurting because of him, whenever I sleep, my mind is always keeping watch for him to come in.

I sit up immediately then groan because of my injuries. I curse myself for stupidly forgetting to make sure my brother drew the bolt across the door.

Even though it wouldn't make a difference. When my dad told me to do anything, I did it without question and Lyle would do to, no doubt. It was like my own body refused to disobey him and chose to betray me instead.

'Well, well.' Jose slipped the light on and both me and my brother blinked. 'What do we have here? What did I tell you today, Erika?'

Before I had time to answer not that I would have dared, my brother was already up on his feet and fully clothed, facing our father.

I wanted to shout out to him, stop him. 'No, Lyle!' But instead I stayed silent like the coward I was.

'You leave my little sister alone.' I watch in horror as my brother confronts our father fearlessly. 'And keep your damn hands off her.'

Dad's face grows pale and his default arrogant expression retreats a little as he turns to me with an expression of pained betrayal on his face. 'Erika, did you tell him? How could you?'

I don't how or why it makes me feel guilty and sorry for him but it does. 'I…'

'You're damn right she told me.' My brother interrupts furiously. 'You used your belt on her?'

'I had to tell him, Dad. Lyle found out about my… my injuries…when I…' I desperately tried to explain but hells knows what I was going to say. 'When Lyle put his arm around me in my bed?'

'Shut up.' Jose glares at me, shooting me down while I want to the ground to swallow me up.

'Don't speak to her like that.'

'I'll speak to my daughter and do what I want to her. She's mine.'

Lyle advances on him and I feel that surge of pride and feeling that I actually matter. Because my big brother who has it all thinks I'm worth something, worth protecting. Even going against our father for.

'You will not hit her again, you hear? You will not use your fists on her or kick her and you will not whip her with your belt.' I watch in disbelief and dread at the way he is talking to our dad. With no respect! Like without him, we wouldn't even exist!

'Yes? And what are you going to do about it?'

Lyle's smart enough not to rise to his bait. 'Just stop.' And he walks back to me and turns his back on Jose like he doesn't even exist. 'Stop hurting her.'

'You stand there while you're in her bed. I know you've been sleeping together.'

That get's Lyle as he turns red. He's blushing! I recoil when I see that he's stumped for a moment at loss what to say in return.

'So?'

'Do you think it's normal for a brother to sleep with his underage sister to sleep in the same bed, night after night when they have their own perfectly good rooms, each with their own ensuite? You will not sleep with her!'

'You can talk about normal, Dad.' Now I'm watching in alarm with my hand over my mouth in shock. 'Like you and me together in the shower?'

'Lyle…' I breathe. I don't quite know what he's suggesting, maybe something I'd forgotten or only half-remember…but it makes me feel sick for him.

'Lyle!' Jose's tone is harsh as he starts breathing hard. His face grows ruddy and he's shaking with his fists clenched at his side.

Lyle ignores him and carries on making himself comfortable in my bed but gets in on my side and motions me to move across so that I don't have to lie on my hurt side. Without looking at my father, he gestures me to move closer to him. Looking up at Dad a little sheepishly, I shrug apologetically as I rest my face on my brother's chest and feel his arm wrap around me gently. Then he tightens his hold, still without making eye contact with Jose! I close my eyes to shut my him out.

'I'll sleep with my sister if she wants me to. Goodnight, Dad.'

'You…You…' Jose's shaking his finger at us but he has to turn on his heel to leave. He can't control Lyle anymore, apparently.

Meanwhile, Lyle had woken up again and the doubts about what he'd just done – confronting Jose and refusing to obey him - loomed large in his mind. Before, adrenalin and outrage on his sister's behalf had fuelled his defiance. He knew his father would never let it lie…he'd be planning his next move.

Of course, he knew it wasn't normal to sleep in the same bed with your sister now she's a teenager. What would Jamie say?

I have my reasons, he thought to himself.

He watched her sleep and kissed her forehead. She stirred but didn't wake and Lyle found his eye drawn to her cute rosebud mouth.

He shook his head. What the hell are you thinking?

Why did she have a hissy fit after we got back? Seemed to get real mad when I said I was going to call my girlfriend…

Like she was jealous? What the hell?

I can't believe he hurt her. I thought he'd stopped all that last time I confronted him. The coward.

And why did I blurt out about sharing a shower with him? He made me promise to never speak of it again but he's such a hypocrite…he made me lose my cool

But what if she understood? What if she remembers?

That's why we have to sleep together. In case he's still doing it to her. He promised me he'd stopped but…She'd tell me if it was still going on, wouldn't she?'

But the creepy way he looks at her. And what kind of father comes into his daughter's room at quarter to midnight, anyway?

'

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