Chapter Four: Beneath The Red
"Tifa? Cloud?"
The light, feminine voice slipped through Tifa's groggy awareness, the distant call of her name breaking through her fog of sleep. She blinked her way awake, straining slightly against the warm, bright sunlight that streamed in overhead.
"…hmm?"
She looked up, finding Cissnei crouched over her with her hands on her hips, brows furrowed slightly as she studied her with waves of her red hair highlighted by the sun streaming in the windows. The warrior woman blinked slightly, peering at Tifa curiously before gazing to her left and then leaning back with her hands folded over her chest.
Tifa blinked, shaking her head before she sat up, her eyes following Cissnei's. It was then that she realized she was sitting next to Cloud on the daybed, that she was leaning against his shoulder and had spent the entire night sleeping there. Her cheeks flushed with warmth at the hazily returned memories of the night before, of her fitful attempts at sleep and how Cloud had calmly lulled her by talking to her about their pasts.
A past that she still couldn't remember but was reaching desperately for.
Cloud stirred then, also sitting up, glancing at Tifa with a matching warmth to his cheeks at their closeness, especially with Cissnei's scrutiny. He tried to mask his embarrassment at their position with a stony, straight face, sitting up as she looked up at Cissnei.
"Cissnei," he acknowledged her, turning then to Tifa and getting to his feet to give a respectful space between them. "Good morning, Tifa."
Cissnei scoffed, then took a step back, shaking her head slightly as she smirked inwardly. Tifa rubbed her shoulders, sitting up properly.
"Good morning," she replied. Their eyes met for a moment, and Tifa immediately thought of the night before, how she'd crept out of the bedroom weary-eyed and seeking solace. She turned away from him, her thoughts weaving through the hazy puzzle pieces of lost and forgotten memories that Cloud had helped her put together again the night before.
Cissnei exhaled. "I've just got back from the Outskirts," she interjected, choosing not to comment on how they'd spent the night together. "But I've got some bad news if you're planning to travel to Cosmo Canyon any time soon."
Cloud rubbed at the sleep in his eyes, then crossed his arms over his chest. "And why is that?" he asked brusquely.
Cissnei took a step back, heading towards the coffee table in her living room. She unloaded a firearm that was strewn across her back, laying it across the table. She sighed quietly.
"The free-flier pilot seems to have run into some mechanical trouble after taking your friends to Cosmo Canyon," she explained, taking a seat on the couch. Tifa watched as she began to methodically dismantle the rifle's parts, laying them out across a thin sheet of cloth as she prepared to clean them.
"So what does that mean?" Cloud asked, somewhat impatiently.
Cissnei looked up, sitting back slightly. "It means you'll have to travel by foot. He'll be out of commission for at least a week from what I've heard, so if you want to catch up with your friends, you should probably head out soon."
The redhead turned then to glance up at Tifa, who instinctively wrapped her arms around her waist, somewhat unsettled by this new information. "How are you feeling? Do you think you can handle traveling now?"
"But - " Cloud started to interject.
Tifa shook her head firmly. "I think I'm okay," she said, watching as Cloud frowned slightly and then glanced down and away from her at her words. "My head feels much clearer, and the headaches have subsided. I think I'll manage."
Cloud looked as if he wanted to protest, but he kept his mouth shut and his gaze averted. Tifa knew that he wanted her to rest for a couple more days, but she also knew that it was unfair of her to hold their party up like this any longer. He sighed audibly instead, then turned away from them both and went over to the window.
"Then we should probably get moving sooner rather than later," he declared, his arms folded over his chest as he stared out onto Gongaga's still-quiet streets. "Gonna take us quite a while to cover that amount of terrain by foot."
Cissnei offered a sympathetic look to them both. "You guys can take Fango," she offered, turning back to Tifa. "She can get you through the jungles and across most of the Western terrain far more quickly than on foot."
Cloud nodded curtly, but didn't say anything. Tifa could see the tension that was wound through his shoulders, and it pulled at something in her gut. Instead of thinking too deeply on what it could mean, she turned away from him and nodded at Cissnei.
"Right," she responded. "I'd better clean up, then. Mind if I use the shower, Cissnei?"
"Of course," Cissnei answered, focusing her attention on cleaning her rifle again.
Tifa was glad to slip into the small lavatory, closing the door and leaning against it for a moment as she collected her bearings. Her heart beat quickly, her mind spun with everything that seemed to be happening too fast. Memories that were fuzzy around the edges still clung to the back of her mind, evoked by Cloud's words the night before and the feelings those sentiments had stirred.
A quick but hot shower helped her to push them deeper for now, to be reflected on when there weren't more pressing matters to attend to. As confused as she still felt, Tifa didn't want to be a burden to Cloud or the party any longer. She would find a way to cope with her broken memories and the scattered emotions she felt, but for now, she wanted to get moving.
Perhaps getting out of this house and out of Gongaga would help her clear her mind and regain some of what she had lost.
She cleaned up quickly, rinsing herself under the hot spray but careful not to use up all of Cissnei's hot water. She dried off and dressed in clean underwear and her leather skirt and tank tops. She found her armor and gloves in the guest room, staring at them for a moment and feeling the strange familiarity of their purpose reawaken within her like an anxiously rising Pheonix.
She glanced down at her hand, clenching it into a small fist and watching the veins in her arm bubble. She thought again of the militia in the village and their martial arts practice, how Cloud had told her she'd trained with one of the best. She felt the truth of his words in her blood, close but yet still so far away. She sighed, shaking her head as she pulled the armor on without even thinking about the process, every movement burned into her muscle memory.
After brushing her damp hair, Tifa packed up her things in her rucksack and returned to the living room. She found Cissnei in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee while she stared out of the window.
"Feeling refreshed?" she asked, turning to Tifa.
Tifa nodded, resting her rucksack on the couch. It was heavy and made her wonder how long they had been planning to travel on this journey. She made a note to ask Cloud about it on their way to Cosmo Canyon.
"I think so. Thank you."
"Good," Cissnei affirmed. "Cloud cleaned up at the armory while you were getting ready, but he should be back by now. I sent him to get Fango from the stables so you two could get a move on before the sun is too high in the sky."
Tifa just shrugged at this, not sure what to say.
Cissnei waved at her, setting her coffee mug in the sink as she made her way out the front door. Tifa followed, shouldering her rucksack as she squinted against the early morning sunlight pouring through the gaps in the trees. Outside, Cloud stood next to a bright green, harnessed chocobo, gently petting its peak and seemingly whispering something to it under his breath. He turned at the sounds of their footsteps, his eyes landing on Tifa and looking her up and down in an appraisal she couldn't quite understand.
She couldn't stop the warmth that crept up the sides of her face when their eyes met.
The chocobo warked excitedly at their appearance, distracting her when it pulled away from Cloud and made its way in her direction. He stomped his talons against the soft grass, then bent down, lowering his long neck so that he could affectionally nudge Tifa's shoulder with his beak.
Cissnei laughed, placing her hands on her hips. "Seems that Fango really took a liking to you the other day," she quipped.
Tifa smiled graciously, not remembering those events at all but happy for the bird's pleasantry nonetheless. She reached up and petted his beak, stroking his feathers.
Cloud cleared his throat. "Guess we should get going," he mumbled.
"I'm afraid Fango here is the only bird I can spare," Cissnei remarked. "Are you guys okay riding together?"
Tifa looked up at Cloud, her heart quickening slightly at the thought of sitting close to him on the saddle as they traveled the miles to their next destination. Her eyes dropped to the strong muscles of his torso that were concealed by his sweater, and feeling the heat rise again, she lowered her eyes and said nothing.
"We'll manage," Cloud finally acquiesced.
Cissnei seemed to think nothing more of it. "Good. It's dangerous to travel this region at night, so you'll want to try to cover as much territory as possible and cut through the Outskirts near the waterways to kill some time. But if you don't make it to the Vale by sundown, I'd advise making camp somewhere elevated in the foothills."
Cloud nodded, turning to Fango and giving the bird a pat on its peak. "We'll manage," he said again. "Thanks, Cissnei."
Tifa then looked up, nodding as she turned to the red-haired woman. She'd only known her a couple of days, and they had been strange days at that. But she was incredibly grateful for her kindness and hospitality. There was so much she still had to navigate ahead, but Tifa honestly didn't know where she would be right now if it weren't for Cissnei's graciousness.
"Yes, Cissnei. I can't thank you enough for helping me these last few days."
Cissnei smiled, offering a nod in return. "You're very welcome. If you're ever in the area, don't hesitate to drop in. And… I hope you both remember everything you've forgotten."
Tifa blinked, watching as Cissnei waved and then turned away to head back into her house without another word to share. It was certainly an odd thing to say, Tifa thought, turning to glance at Cloud. He was staring at Cissnei's back, his eyes glazed over at her words, and Tifa wondered what the woman meant by them.
Cloud blinked, snapping out of it. He turned around, mounting the choboco before leaning down to reach out a hand to Tifa.
"Ready?"
His stark, mako-blue eyes were softened by the sunlight, their green flecks and glow even more prominent than usual. His brow wore its usual furrow, betraying to Tifa that he was caught deep in thought somewhere behind those azure pools. But there was a gentleness there that she had to admit set her heart at ease, and she nodded, accepting his hand with her own.
She stepped into the stirrup and he helped hoist her onto the chocobo behind him, one hand keeping her steady by the wrist while the other helped her up by her waist. She settled onto Fango's back behind Cloud, blushing slightly at the close contact of their bodies and the way his hands were on hers.
"You okay?" he asked softly, slowly releasing her hand.
Tifa nodded, her throat suddenly dry. Cloud grunted in approval and turned away, reaching for the chocobo's reins and patting him to encourage him to start navigating the narrow village roads.
"Y-you might want to hold on tight," Cloud stammered suddenly. "The terrain might get rough, and I'm gonna try to ride a fast pace so we get to Cosmo as soon as possible."
He cleared his throat, leaning forward as Fango carried them past Gongaga's village gates and into the thick jungles beyond. Her heart racing at his words, Tifa hesitated for a moment, staring at Cloud's back and the messy spikes of his golden blond hair as she considered the implications of such closeness.
Cloud cared about her, she knew. He only wanted to protect her. She needed to stop overthinking every little thing.
Tentatively, shyly, she reached out to place her hands on Cloud's waist, holding onto him in the most unassuming and respectful manner she could manage. She felt his body stiffen slightly at her touch before he relaxed, leaning forward even further as he spurred Fango on to faster speeds.
Trying to ignore the warmth of his body she could feel emanating from his back, Tifa turned to admire the jungle horizons beyond the river and the interludes of waterfalls as they made their way, pushing the intrusive thoughts and incessant questions plaguing her mind and her heart away.
The sun dipped low on the horizon, casting a warm glow that kissed the rugged cliffs of the Cosmo Canyon Region as Cloud guided the chocobo along the winding path. The terrain began to turn rocky after several long hours, the green and blue hues of the jungle thinning into desolate red and sienna crags. The humidity shifted into a dry heat, the air acrid as Fango's talons kicked up dust as he traveled the well-worn roads.
Cloud sat with his jaw set, his eyes focused on navigating the roads ahead but his thoughts scattered in a thousand different directions. The heat of Tifa's body was clinging to his from the way that she held onto him. Somewhere along the way as he pushed Fango's trot into a full gallop, she'd slid her hands from his waist and leaned in closer, wrapping her arms around his middle so she could hold on more tightly.
The closeness made him aware of every nerve ending in his body. Her breasts were soft against his back, her body warm and even her clean, confectionary scent enveloping him. It was difficult to be so close to Tifa while the knowledge of her amnesia and the events of the days prior continued to swirl in his head, events with consequences he still couldn't fathom how to properly confront. He was torn between the constant desire to care and provide and protect, with the nagging sense that he needed to give her some space to figure things out. He felt awkward and hamstrung by the entire situation, as if every move he made was the wrong one.
Even contemplating the night before and how he and Tifa had found moments of quiet solace with one another - moments that he admitted felt like small breakthroughs - still plagued him with the sense that he wasn't doing things right. When the morning came around, the awkwardness and the distance had opened up between them again, to the point that they had barely spoken more than half a dozen words to each across the hours they'd spent together traveling west.
The lack of conversation only made it easier for him to stew in his own thoughts and question his every move, his anxieties creeping at the edges of his thoughts as he considered the fractured threads of his own sanity and the ever-present threat that both Sephiroth and Shinra represented. He stared down at his gloved hands where they rested against the downy, bright green feathers of Fango's neck, the degradation that periled his body the most pressing matter on his mind.
Somehow, though - despite her forgotten memories - the warmth and softness of the woman behind him brought small comfort to his troubles.
Cloud was abruptly shaken out of his thoughts when Fango reared up on both feet, flapping his wings and bucking violently with a frightened wark. Tifa yelped behind him, her arms tightening their hold around his waist to avoid falling from the chocobo's back. Cloud immediately pulled back on the reins, attempting to calm the bird down.
"Fango, whoa," he shouted, patting the bird's neck. "What's gotten into you?"
"Cloud, look!"
Tifa's sharp cry, coupled with her outstretched arm pointing over his shoulder, pulled his attention to a hilly outcropping to the north of the road they traveled along. Cloud's eyes narrowed at the sight - a small army of Sahagin monsters surged from the shadows, their scales and the sharp tips of their spears reflecting the dying sunlight like shards of malice. The chocobo reared in alarm, its panicked squawks piercing the otherwise silent atmosphere.
"Stay close," Cloud urged, drawing his sword with a metallic ring that sang of impending battle. He could feel Tifa's pulse quicken, her grip on him tightening for a fleeting moment before she slid from the chocobo's back, her movements hesitant.
"Cloud..." her voice wavered, undergirded by a tender note of vulnerability and fear. "I don't... I don't remember how..."
He locked eyes with her, seeing the flicker of doubt shadowing her gaze. He knew that she was worried she might not remember how to fight. But with the sahagins approaching them with the spirit of guerrilla warfare behind their movements, there was no time to worry about what could go wrong. All they had was hope.
"Just follow my lead," he said, his tone layered with an unspoken promise to protect, to guide. To be her memory when hers faltered.
As the first Sahagin lunged, Cloud met it head-on, his blade slicing through air and monster flesh alike, bright spurts of red blood and green offal sluicing through the air. Tifa stood beside him, her fists raised defensively, betraying the memory of her inner warrior even in the face of uncertainty.
"Trust yourself," Cloud encouraged between strikes, his focus split between the relentless foes and the woman whose presence made each swing of his sword a vow. He felt it then, an inexplicable pull towards her that transcended the chaos around them. They had fought side by side in battle countless times and there was no one on earth Cloud trusted more to have at his side in the face of danger.
It was their first time fighting together since the incident in Gongaga, and Cloud knew that no matter what happened in those next few moments of chaos, he would protect her.
"Cloud!" Tifa cried out, her voice laced with a newfound resolution as she launched herself at a Sahagin, her body moving with a grace that belied her amnesia. She was a flurry of kicks and punches, each movement fluid yet powerful, a testament to the strength that lived within her regardless of recollection.
"Nice move," he couldn't help but quip as he watched her body spin and turn with the power and grace of a dancer, the corner of his mouth lifting in an admiring smirk despite the gravity of their situation. There was something innately alluring about Tifa in motion on the battlefield—the fierce beauty of her form, the passion in her eyes as she fought without remembrance, but not without skill.
A second Sahagin lunged at Cloud, but he was ready, swinging his sword in a wide arc that cleaved through the monster with a single, decisive blow. Beside him, Tifa moved with a grace and ferocity that surprised even herself. Her muscle memory took over, guiding her movements as she launched into a series of swift, powerful punches and kicks.
One Sahagin managed to close in on Tifa, its claws swiping dangerously close. She ducked and spun, delivering a crushing uppercut that sent the creature sprawling. Cloud couldn't help but steal glances at her between his own clashes, his admiration growing with each of her precise, devastating strikes.
"Tifa, behind you!" Cloud called out, but she was already turning, her reflexes sharp. She delivered a spinning kick that connected with the Sahagin's head, sending it flying back.
The fight was intense, the air filled with the sounds of steel meeting flesh and the guttural cries of the Sahagin as scales and flesh alike were torn asunder. For a breathless eternity, they fought back-to-back, their silhouettes weaving an intricate tapestry of combat against the backdrop of the desert sunset.
As the last Sahagin crumbled to the ground, the silence of the canyon returned. Tifa panted, her chest heaving from the exertion as she leaned forward on her knees. Cloud lowered his sword, his eyes locked on her, a mix of concern and admiration in his gaze.
"Is that… Is that all of them?" Tifa's voice was soft, almost disbelieving as she turned to face him, her dark eyes searching his for confirmation.
"Looks like it," Cloud affirmed. "Thanks to you."
The pride in his voice mingled with something more fragile. It was there in the way he reached to brush a stray lock of hair from her face, in the lingering touch that spoke volumes in the quietude of their shared victory. His fingers ghosted over her skin with a tenderness that contrasted starkly with the violence they'd just wrought.
She remembered. She was every bit the fighter she had been before he had pushed her into that mako. He hadn't taken that away from her, at least.
"Me?" her soft laugh was melodic, easing the tension from his shoulders. "I guess I'm remembering more than I thought."
"You're remembering everything that matters," Cloud found himself replying, the depth of his feelings for her shining through the stoicism he wore like armor. It was only half true, but saying it bolstered him against the fears that had been consuming him for days and that dug at him even after their shared moments the night before. She was still unsure of him, he knew… but whatever confidence he could offer her, he would.
They walked to the side of the road where the chocobo waited nervously. It was only then that the adrenaline rush began to plummet, the awareness of mild injuries setting in. Cloud noticed first, wincing as he touched his busted lip. Tifa followed, her hand pressing against a gash on her thigh.
The sight of bright red smeared across her milky skin was an instant alarm in Cloud's brain. "You're hurt," he said softly, reaching out to her.
"Just a scratch," she replied, but her voice was tinged with pain.
Cloud ignored her dismissal, reaching into Fango's saddle bag and tearing a strip of medicinal fabric from a recently transmuted cushion. He turned back to her, meeting her dark carmine eyes for a moment, seeking their permission before he lowered himself to his knees in front of her at her slow nod.
"Here, let me," he murmured, crouching down beside her on the rocky ground. His voice was quiet, not wanting to shatter the fragile bubble that enveloped them.
Cloud was eye-to-eye with the midpoint of Tifa's thighs, the pale space above her stocking and below her skirt dangerous. His desire surged like a tsunami inside him, and he tamped it down by focusing on the ugly red gash that marred her left leg. The sahagin's spear had swiped just deep enough to expose the spongy red flesh below her skin, now bleeding profusely.
"Does it hurt?" he asked softly, positioning himself so that his shadow sheltered her injury from the amber glow of Cosmo Canyon's crystals.
"A little," she admitted, her teeth catching on her lower lip in a way that drew his gaze momentarily from the task at hand.
He inched closer, his breath hitching as he felt the warmth of her nearness, his heart pounding for reasons that had nothing to do with the fight.
With utmost care, he began to gently wrap the medicinal bandage around her thigh. His touch was tender, his fingers lingering a moment longer than necessary. He couldn't help but be acutely conscious of the firmness of her muscle beneath his fingers, heat flowing through his veins like lava.
"Your fighting was incredible," Cloud said, his words distracting him from the longing and need being so close to an intimate part of her body was drawing out. "You've always been amazing, Tifa."
"Really?" Her voice wavered, laced with a giggle that made his heart bellyflop. It was a sound that stirred memories within him—echoes of laughter and shared glances that had once been their secret language and had now been lost, thanks to his own inner destruction.
"Absolutely." His gaze lifted to meet hers, blue clashing with crimson. The corners of his mouth twitched, drawn upward despite the pain from his busted lip.
"Cloud, your lip..." She reached out tentatively, her fingers ghosting over the swollen flesh. "It looks painful."
"Ah, it's nothing." But his protest died on his lips as her touch lingered, sending jolts of sensation that contradicted his nonchalance. "Tifa..."
"Let me," she insisted, echoing his earlier offer. There was a tenderness in her eyes that he hadn't seen since before her memories became veiled in fog.
Cloud got to his feet, standing in front of her and watching as Tifa went into her rucksack and pulled out a small, clean cloth, dampening it with water from her flask. She leaned forward, gently dabbing at the cut. Cloud stilled, hyperaware of every movement, every brush of her fingertips against his skin. The heat that was coursing through his body seemed to burst, and he gripped his hands into tight fists at his sides, trying to control the urges that were boiling inside of him, pushing him to grab her and kiss her right there.
"Thanks," he managed to breathe, allowing himself to close his eyes and just feel—the cool touch on his lip, the softness of her breath, the lingering adrenaline from battle mingling with the embers of desire she stoked in him.
"Does that help?" Tifa asked, her voice barely above a whisper, her hands retreating hesitantly.
"Yeah." He opened his eyes, finding himself lost for a moment in the depths of hers. In that gaze, he saw flickers of recognition, glimpses of shared history rekindling in her mind.
Cloud breathed heavily as he nodded at Tifa, turning away to gather his bearings, the thick ropes of tension between them finally severed.
"It's late," Cloud remarked as Tifa moved towards Fango, preparing to mount again. "We're still fifty or so miles out from the Vale. If we keep traveling, we're sure to run into more fights like that."
Tifa glanced over at him, her wide, crimson eyes masking emotions he wasn't sure he could read. His eyes fell again to her thigh, and he couldn't help but think about her injury in the reactor a few days back.
"Besides, you really should take it easy."
Tifa's lips parted as if she were going to say something in protest, and Cloud was momentarily transfixed by their pouty, beckoning state. But she acquiesced with a small nod, looking at the terrain around them.
"I guess you're right," she agreed. "I am a bit tired after that. I remembered how to fight but… my body just feels out of it."
She blushed slightly at the admission, shielding her face from him by distracting herself, stroking Fango's feathers to calm him down after the incursion. Cloud's chest felt tight at her words. He badly wanted to reach out and touch her, to offer a hand or an arm or anything he could to support and comfort her. But once again he felt awkward and stuck, failing to do anything meaningful to help her.
He berated himself inwardly for his cowardice, swearing as he circled around Fango to rub the chocobo's beak and gather his reins. "It'll just take some time," he finally managed, speaking to Tifa but looking at the chocobo. The bird warbled softly as if it understood, blinking and fluttering its wings. "We should move to high ground to make camp. Come on."
He finally turned back to Tifa, offering her a hand to help hoist her back onto the chocobo. She glanced at him for a moment, a thick rope of wired tension running between them as she stared at his hand. She nodded after a moment then, taking his hand and lifting herself onto the saddle while Cloud steadied her, his hands reaching for her waist when she slid backward a little bit.
"Careful," he warned.
He realized then that her hips had fallen squarely into the palms of his hands, his fingers inadvertently curling around the top of her bottom, just below the waistband of her skirt. Heat raced up Cloud's neck as he realized how intimately he was touching her again, and the sudden scorch he felt was not helped by the way that Tifa looked back at him in surprise, her cheeks flushed and her lashes fluttering as she pulled on the saddle's horn to right and steady herself.
"Sorry," she apologized meekly.
"I-it's fine," Cloud quickly responded, turning away once she was settled on top of the bird. His hands burned under his gloves, and he busied himself by taking Fango's reins, leading them off the side of the road along a padded stretch of inclining desert land that led up red, clay-beaten hills.
Cloud stayed silent as he carefully navigated them up the crags, careful to guide Fango through the rocky landscape. Fango was a gliding chocobo, accustomed to wetlands and soft grass and mushroom patches in the jungle. He didn't want to overburden the animal outside of its typical climate, knowing it would be more likely to get injured or suffer an accident on unfamiliar terrain.
He tried to calm his thoughts as he brought them a safe distance from the road and the lower foothills where fiends were more likely to traverse at night, finding a quiet and isolated cliffside space below deep red mesas that kept it sheltered from the broader desert beyond. They made their way up the cliff, Tifa sighing quietly as they went, her every breath so attached to Cloud's senses it was as if he could feel them at the cellular level. It was incredibly distracting, and he couldn't help but glance back at her at every chance he could to check on her. But she simply offered him a small smile or nodded complacently, letting him know that everything was alright.
She was trying so hard to not be a burden and to prove that she was doing just fine, despite the circumstances. But Cloud knew this was not the case. What he didn't know was how to fix it.
Nonetheless, he wasn't going to stop trying.
When they made it behind the mesa, Cloud stopped, quietly praising Fango with a pat on his peak before he began to unload their rucksacks from the saddlebags to make camp for the night. As he did so, he heard a giggle to his left.
He turned, looking up to see that Tifa had dismounted the chocobo and was standing beside him, her arms crossed across her chest and an amused smile on her face.
"…What?" he asked, warmth spreading across his cheeks again.
She shook her head, dipping it slightly as she brought her hand to her mouth. "Nothing," she responded. "Sorry, it's just… you're great with the chocobo. I guess I didn't expect it."
Cloud blinked at her, then shrugged. "Gotta take care of the animals if you want them to perform for you."
"It's cute."
Cloud's face was instantly engulfed by flames. She giggled again, and he quickly averted his eyes, making quick work to unpack the rucksacks and tents.
Did Tifa just call him cute?
He wasn't sure how to take that, but if it got her smiling, it was good enough for him. He turned back to her, offering her a smirk in response before he nodded over to an open outcropping below the mesa's farthest wall.
"That looks like a good spot to set up camp," he suggested. "Perfect to keep watch from, and has a great view of the stars."
He paused there, turning to glance back at her, waiting to see if she would have any reaction to that. Last night, he'd talked to her about those days in Nibelheim that he could still remember, carefree summer days and nights as children, simpler and happier times. They'd talked briefly about that fateful day five years ago and she'd cried over her father's death, small but tragic memories returning to her. But he hadn't brought up their promise again since the blank stare she'd given him in Cissnei's kitchen the prior afternoon, and it tore at his heart to think that a moment that meant so much to him had lost all of its meaning to her.
Tifa didn't say anything, just looked up at the sky, her eyes tracing the lines of the clouds as they faded into wispy violet streaks with the sun sinking behind the horizon. Cloud thought he saw a faint smile pull at her lips, but he couldn't be sure.
"Okay," was all she managed in response.
He tried not to sigh in defeat, despite the way his shoulders suddenly sagged as if all of the wind had been knocked from his sails. Instead, he offered her a warm and consoling smile in return, then put the matter out of his mind, turning away to unload their wares and set up their camp for the night.
Tifa was just as industrious as ever, getting right to work alongside him and falling into a rhythm helping him set their camp. While he staked out her tent and stoked the fire, Tifa unpacked their rations and prepared to cook a quick but filling meal of pre-packaged stew they'd bought way back in Under Junon.
The campfire crackled, its flames licking at the evening air as Cloud set down the last tent peg. He stood, glancing over at her. She was stirring the small pot of stew, the aroma of cooked meat and herbs wafting into the breeze. He watched silently, unknowingly captivated, as she set the ladle down and then walked over to Fango, who trilled softly as she stroked his neck and then fed him greens from her hand.
Cloud blinked, realizing how hard he was staring when Tifa came back to the fire and sat down. She glanced over at him, waving him towards the pot as she stirred the stew again. Sighing quietly under his breath to dispel the tension that was wound around his bones, Cloud moved closer and sat near Tifa by the fire, the light dancing across her delicate features. She kept her eyes downcast as she ladled stew into two tin bowls, handing one wordlessly to Cloud, their fingers brushing. Tifa's cheeks colored slightly and she tucked a strand of chestnut hair behind her ear.
"Thanks," he managed, his hand on fire again, his neck hot. He sat back, leaving a respectful distance between them in hopes he might be able to cool his nerves.
They ate in silence, the occasional crackle of the fire and Fango's muted kwehs the only sounds. Unwittingly, Cloud's gaze kept drifting to Tifa as she ate. The starlight overhead - the Cosmo region's bright, vast sky unbidden by pollution or obstruction - drew forth memories that he knew were still buried for her.
He ached to speak, to ask her if she remembered the promise they'd made as children. The promise sealed under the stars that fateful night so long ago. But her distant manner gave him pause.
Cloud yearned to see her smile again, the way she did briefly when she quipped about the choboco, or when he told her about her cat Maru, or when he helped her make pilaf in Cissnei's kitchen. He yearned for her wine-hued eyes to meet his with the same familiar warmth that stared back at him in Seventh Heaven all those weeks ago. To hear his name in her gentle voice as it used to be, not the guarded detachment that now clouded her tone.
Tifa glanced up, noticing Cloud's stare. Another blush bloomed on her cheeks and she looked away shyly. Cloud felt his pulse quicken at her reaction. Could it be that buried somewhere deep in her heart, she still remembered what had blossomed after their reunion in the slums? Was that same care and tenderness she'd given him those first few weeks still there, ready to bloom and glow? The very possibility flooded him with hope.
Tifa set her empty bowl aside, her gaze drifting upwards. Cloud followed, taking in the dazzling expanse of the night sky above Cosmo Canyon. The stars shone like jewels against velvet, the moon a luminous pearl overlooking it all.
"It's beautiful," Tifa murmured.
Cloud glanced at her upturned face, bathed in starlight. His memory overlapped with the sight of her in the same position to his right that night on the water tower, and his heart clenched.
"Yeah," he said softly. "It is."
Tifa met his eyes briefly before looking away again, a new tension in her posture. She shifted, trying to hide a wince of pain that Cloud noticed immediately.
"I need to check your wound," he said, concern furrowing his brow. Silently, he was grateful for the distraction from his feelings and the confusion of all of it. "You might have reopened it. Here, let me see."
He reached for her gently but Tifa recoiled. "I'm fine," she insisted, though her voice shook slightly.
Cloud hesitated, then said in a low, earnest tone, "Please, Tifa. I just want to help."
She searched his face as if gauging his sincerity. It tore the blood out of his ventricles to see her look at him that way. Finally, she relented with a small nod, leaning back slightly. Cloud was mindful to keep his touch feather-light as he examined her injury, his breath catching at her proximity. Her unique scent, subtle and sweet, stirred memories of lighter days now veiled in shadow and tremulous longing. He longed to unveil them once more, to restore what had been lost. To rekindle that spark hidden within her.
Shoving those thoughts aside, he quickly redressed the bandaging, careful not to let his eyes linger on any one patch of flesh for too long.
"Thank you, Cloud," Tifa said softly when he finished.
She gifted him with the whisper of a smile and Cloud felt something stir deep within his heart. It was suffocating, but he held on to it tightly.
Tifa rose slowly, careful not to aggravate her wound. As she stood, her gaze fell upon the single small tent erected nearby.
"Just one tent?" she asked.
Cloud nodded, a touch of color rising in his cheeks. "Yeah. I figured I'd keep watch tonight so you could get some rest."
Tifa tilted her head, studying him. "You don't have to do that," she said gently. "You need to sleep too."
Cloud shook his head, avoiding her earnest eyes. He hated to admit it, but the thought of sleeping anywhere near her tore him to shreds, especially after the way they'd dozed off together last night and had emerged with nothing but newfound awkwardness between them. "It's okay. I can go a long time without sleep - part of the enhancements from being a SOLDIER."
"Oh," Tifa said softly, a complicated mix of emotions flitting across her face. She hesitated as if wanting to protest further, but instead simply shrugged.
"Good night, Cloud."
He watched her disappear into the tent, his heart aching. To be so close to her now, yet separated by the gauzy veil of forgotten memories...it was torture.
Cloud settled near the dying fire, sword close at hand. He would keep her safe tonight, as he had always sworn to do. And perhaps, in the quiet hours beneath the blanket of stars, he would find the right words to help bring back what they had lost. For now, her nearness and knowing she was safe was enough to keep the darkness at bay.
Cloud leaned back against a weathered boulder, the crackling fire casting flickering shadows across his pensive face. His mako-infused eyes reflected the dancing flames as he gazed at Tifa's tent, his acute hearing picking up the soft sounds of her moving within.
His fingers traced idle patterns in the dirt as his mind wandered to memories of their shared past - secret meetings under the stars, drinks shared across a worn wooden bar counter, embraces shared in flower gardens with the scent of cinder and ash in the air. A small, wistful smile pulled at his lips.
She had always been able to pierce through the walls he put up around his heart. With just a touch or a kind word, she could make him feel truly seen - known - in a way no one else could.
He glanced down at the Buster sword staked in the ground beside him gleaming softly in the firelight. He had made a promise to be her hero, her protector. But now she was the one saving him, her light guiding him through the dark fog of his own mind.
Even if she didn't remember what she had vowed to him that night in Gongaga before she closed her eyes and lost it all.
Cloud sighed softly, picking up a stray twig to poke at the embers. He would tell her everything soon. For now, just having her near was enough to keep the demons at bay. As long as she was safe, he could face anything the shadows had to offer.
The dawn was a gentle caress against the vast horizon of the canyon as Tifa nestled closer to Cloud on Fango's broad back. The rhythmic sway of their chocobo's gait lulled her into a state of calmness, the soft warmth of Cloud's body in front of her both a balm and a torment. Faint strains of longing twined through the fog of her foggy, melancholic thoughts, binding her to him in ways she couldn't grasp.
"Are you holding up okay?" Cloud's voice, low and rough from a night without sleep, vibrated through her.
"I'm fine," she murmured, more to reassure herself than to answer his question. She noted the subtle tension in his posture, the way his arms tugged at Fango's reins just a touch too firmly.
Tifa dared not confess the sadness that pooled within her, the sorrow for memories lost and for the night he'd spent vigilant while she slumbered in the tent—alone and unaware. She cursed her own timidity, wishing now she had pleaded with him to join her, or at least to share the quiet hours of darkness.
As they approached Cosmo Canyon, Tifa felt the earthy scent of ancient stone and burning sage tease her senses, drawing her out of her reverie. The land seemed to hold its breath, watching them as they approached with their fragmented pasts in tow.
A wide rope bridge opened up in front of them as they at last approached the vale, the village of Cosmo Canyon and its clay pueblos and cliffside dwellings towering above them and piercing the pale blue sky and the sun's white-hot glow. The sight of a well-populated province eased some of the discontent she was feeling being alone in her thoughts. Being around people would help her push them aside for a while.
"Friends of Red XIII, you say?" an elder inquired skeptically when they reached the settlement's entrance and Cloud brusquely stated their business. "I know no one by that name."
Cloud frowned visibly, his irritation apparent. "That's right," he repeated, his voice steady despite the hint of challenge.
A ripple of confusion passed through the gathered elders, their whispers like leaves rustling in the wind. The name did not resonate with them, and Tifa sensed the undercurrents of a misunderstanding about to unfold.
It was then that a familiar figure flashed by in a burst of sienna red, and intercepted the growing disquiet.
"Red XIII is what Hojo called me," Red explained as he approached, his voice tinged with the innocence of one not yet burdened by the world's weight. It was a vast and almost comical change from the deep timber Tifa had heard him speak with previously. "But my true name is Nanaki. Yardis, they are part of my troupe. You may let them pass."
The revelation seemed to echo off the canyon walls, and Tifa watched as understanding dawned on the faces around them. The elders guarding the entrance stepped out of the way, opening up their passage to the bustling market square of Cosmo Canyon's village center. Red XIII - or Nanaki, it seemed, galloped at their side with the exuberance of a young pup, his tongue hanging from his mouth as he filled Cloud and her in with the details of everything they had done while waiting for the two of them to catch up.
He brought them to the town's pub where the rest of the party was gathered, enjoying breakfast and hot cups of spiced coffee. Tifa could not help but be intrigued by the complexities of the conversations that surrounded her and the boundless energy of the Canyon's many visitors. Despite the early hours, almost all of the shops were full, mindfulness classes were being held on the balcony, and prayer and study sessions were held in nearly every corner. Cosmo Canyon was a place that embraced one's need for the practices of its beliefs.
"You made it!"
The embrace came as a sudden warmth against the chill of Tifa's uncertainty, Aerith's arms wrapping around her in a hug that felt both foreign and familiar. She returned the embrace half-heartedly, her touch hesitant like a melody played with forgotten notes.
She knew these people - including this over-eager girl - were her friends. But it was so hard to find the remembrance of that when her memories were in short supply.
"It's so good to see you, Tifa," Aerith whispered, pulling back just enough to search her eyes with mild concern.
"Thanks, Aerith," Tifa replied, the words strange on her tongue, a reminder of friendships she could not fully recall. Aerith turned away with a smile, aiming her attention at Cloud, who stood now by the bar with his arms over his chest.
Barret's booming laughter broke through the awkwardness, his large hands clapping Cloud on the back with enough force to stagger him. "Man, it's been too quiet without you two!"
"Quiet is good sometimes," Cloud responded dryly, recovering his balance with a scowl.
"Ha! Of course you'd think so, broody boy!" Yuffie chimed in, raising a glass of orange juice into the air so forcefully that it sloshed messily. "We've learned so much about planetology here. It's wild—all about the Lifestream and how it connects everything!"
"Sounds... enlightening," Tifa managed, offering a small smile that didn't reach her eyes.
"I got what to say about some of it," Barret complained, banging his good fist on the counter so harshly that the bartender stopped and frowned at him. "Some things ain't adding up."
Nanaki entreated them, dismissing Barret's insinuation with a wave before he motioned for Cloud and Tifa to follow, his tail flicking with an eagerness that beckoned them onward. "Come, Bugenhagen has much to show you. We were waiting until you guys made it back."
"I'll come with!" Aerith exclaimed excitedly, running up behind them as Tifa followed behind Cloud.
They made their way deeper into the Canyon, taking the elevator to the highest peaks of the encampment. As they ascended toward the observatory, the pathways wound tighter, spiraling like the thoughts in Tifa's head—around and around until they were swallowed by the vastness of space within the elder's sanctuary.
The observatory was as messy and overwhelming as an overpacked museum - everything from trinkets, crystals, vintage technology, and books lining the walls and shelves of every floor. Aerith, who Tifa was realizing has the wistfulness of a young child, stopped to touch everything, while Tifa found herself intrigued by some of the titles of books along the walls and the old crystals of materia that still glowed faintly with forgotten memories.
Not unlike her own, she thought ruefully, wondering if a materia out there somewhere held her past in its swirly depths.
"Welcome, my young friends," Bugenhagen greeted, appearing from an enclosure above, his voice resonating with the wisdom of the stars themselves. He floated atop a large, glowing green orb, making his movements swift and boundless.
"Come with me."
They followed up to the top floor, Tifa watching silently as he explained the machinery in the room that hummed with the energy of a thousand galaxies, the projection of the planet floating serenely amidst a tapestry of constellations. The cycle of the Lifestream unfurled before them, ethereal streams intertwining in a dance of creation and destruction.
"The Lifestream," Bugenhagen explained, his fingers tracing the arcs of light that painted the cosmos. "It is the very essence of our star."
Cloud stood close to Tifa, their shoulders nearly touching in the dim illumination. He watched her face, illuminated by the celestial display, the wonder in her eyes reflecting the very stars that held his gaze. Feeling the heat of his stare, Tifa turned, their eyes meeting. For what felt like an endless moment, the universe paused, granting them solitude amidst the grandeur of life's eternal flow.
Cloud watched Tifa as the vibrant strands of the Lifestream swirled around them like a cosmic ballet, her eyes wide with wonder and something akin to recognition. Her hand lifted slightly, fingers twitching as if to grasp at the memories that played hide-and-seek in the corners of her mind.
"The great river where all are fated to intertwine and circle the planet without end."
The lights of the observatory switched back on, the platform lowering as the planetary display faded back to the high-arched ceiling. Aerith clapped her hands in excitement, questions firing from her lips, while Tifa blinked, absorbing everything she had just seen and heard.
"But what of the mind? The soul?"
Bugenhagen's words - his carefully crafted explanation of the Lifestream, the illuminating sights of energy and life forces melding and dissipating into the planet's endless river - it stirred something in Tifa, triggering hazy images of bright green rivers flowing beneath the earth's core and weaving between places she'd seen before. Silver hair and an even more silvered blade flashed in her mind, circled by black and white ghosts and bursts of light as bright and purple as lightning.
"Bugenhagen," Tifa's voice trembled like a leaf caught in a gentle breeze, her heart pounding against her chest. The sudden influx of recollections spilled forth with so much urgency that she could not hold her words in. "I think... I remember falling into the Lifestream near Gongaga."
The old man turned, peering at her through eyes that had seen the ebb and flow of countless seasons. His weathered face twisted with suspicion and thought, then eased with slight amusement, the age spots in his skin stretching with every line of his expression.
"Ah, so you claim to have been embraced by the planet's essence?" His tone held a note of skepticism, a sharp contrast to the warmth of his earlier words.
"Yes," she insisted, her resolve hardening like ice forming on a winter lake. The images in her mind were too real - in fact, they went deeper than her mind, reaching the depths of her heart. "I saw the planet—fighting, struggling against… its enemies." Her hands moved as she spoke, but her voice slowed, the words sounding ridiculous once they finally left her lips.
"Child," he scoffed, the sound cutting through the stillness of the observatory. "You need education, not indulgence in flights of fancy. Or perhaps you should seek treatment for mako poisoning."
"Her experiences are real," Cloud suddenly interjected, his voice low but firm, carrying a weight that defied his usual reticence. Tifa blinked, glancing at him, the mako blue in his eyes icy but flaring.
"Enough," Bugenhagen dismissed, waving a dismissive hand. "Your friend requires guidance, not empty reassurances. She will attend a seminar."
Tifa's lips parted in protest, but before she could voice her objection, another elder appeared, leading her away from the celestial tapestry to the nearby seminary hall.
"I'll come too," Aerith volunteered, racing to her side. Cloud scoffed loud enough for everyone to hear, but followed close behind, his scowl deep and his jaw set.
As they walked, Tifa ruminated over the images that appeared in her mind so suddenly. She was suddenly back in Gongaga, staring into Cloud's soulful blue eyes as he regretfully explained she'd fallen into the reactor, right into a pool of mako. She had at the time wondered what that could possibly mean for her, but now, she was finally getting her first hint.
Cloud caught up to her side, leaning in close in an attempt to keep Aerith and the elder from overhearing his words.
"Will you be okay?" he asked.
"Of course," Tifa replied as confidently as she could, her smile brave yet fragile as a spider's web glistening in the morning dew. But her eyes betrayed her, and her voice shook. The weakness that was hidden below the surface plagued her.
"Remember," he said softly, standing mere inches away, "I'm right here with you."
His hand hovered over hers, but he pulled back just before they touched. Tifa could feel the warmth of the leather tease her skin, and when she glanced up at him, he was staring straight ahead again, stone-faced.
Aerith glanced their way, a knowing look in her gaze, but said nothing, allowing the moment its sacred space. They continued in silence to the seminar, following the directions of the elder.
The room was a sanctuary of wisdom, its walls whispering tales of the ancients as Tifa took her place among the eager congregants. She sat on the woven mat, legs folded beneath her, the soft light from the hanging lanterns casting shadows across the floor. Aerith settled beside her, folding her hands in her lap but suddenly quieter than she had ever been.
Cloud remained apart, a solitary figure leaning against the stone wall with folded arms, his gaze fixed on Tifa. His eyes were oceans of concern, and she could feel their waves lapping at the shores of her troubled mind. He seemed both angry and intrigued, a quiet storm in the corner of the room.
She didn't understand it, but she had a strong compulsion to help him calm the tempests of his mind.
If only she knew how.
"Share with us your questions, child," the elder intoned, his voice smooth as the pebbles lining the canyon's pathways.
Tifa's heart clenched. It was as if she stood on the edge of a cliff, the chasm of her fragmented memories yawning before her. Swallowing her fear, she spoke, her voice hesitant.
"I... I fell into the Lifestream. I don't know how to describe it, except… beautiful, maybe? Feelings of kindness…long forgotten memories…It was a warm, comforting place."
Tifa closed her eyes, placing her hand over her heart. The more that she spoke, the more that the images gained clarity, as if they were crystalline figures being polished before being placed back on the shelves of her mind. Her home in Nibelheim, a dangerous bridge, a water tower under the stars…
A little blond boy with bright blue eyes…
"But… there was also conflict. A war, between the planet and its enemies, shadows I couldn't understand."
A collective gasp swept through the room like a sudden breeze, eyes wide with disbelief. Cloud's fists tightened imperceptibly, his stance protective even from afar.
"Such fancies," the elder dismissed with a wave of his hand. He offered her a patronizing smile. "You speak of dreams, not the teachings of planetology. But perhaps you may seek your curiosity among the Apocrypha. I suppose it never hurts to keep looking for that which we seek."
The seminar drew to a close, an unceremonious end that left a bitter aftertaste. As they rose, Tifa wrapped her arms around herself, a barrier against the chill of rejection. Cloud approached, his footsteps soft and quiet.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"I'm fine," she lied, her voice a poorly crafted mask that didn't quite fit. She stepped back, distancing herself from the electric pull of his concern.
Aerith glanced at Tifa, emerald eyes conflicted. Yet she held her tongue, choosing the silence of respect over the intrusion of consolation.
"We should join the others at the River of Lights Ceremony," Aerith suggested instead, turning on her heels to leave.
Tifa nodded, her movements mechanical, as she followed her friends through Cosmo Canyon's embracing corridors. The longing in Cloud's gaze reached out, a tender vine seeking purchase in the garden of her soul. Her eyes met his, and for a breathless moment, the dam within her trembled, threatening to release a deluge of tears born of love and loss, of forgotten promises and phantom embraces.
But the dam held, and Tifa turned away, the weight of her sorrow silent and heavy.
Tifa slipped away from Cloud and Aerith to the sanctuary of a secluded rest alcove, its walls cool and rough beneath her fingertips. The dim light from a nearby luminescent crystal flickered across her face as she leaned over the basin, water pooling in her cupped hands before she splashed it onto her heated skin. Droplets clung to her eyelashes like morning dew, the chill of the water biting into the warmth of her flushed cheeks.
In the reflection of the polished stone, her eyes—a stormy blend of Bordeaux and twilight—betrayed the turmoil within. The first tear escaped, tracing a glistening path down her cheek. She didn't understand the memories she had just recalled. She didn't understand the things she had seen in the Lifestream or why Cloud's young visage was marked all over them, why the elders' ire was aimed at her as pointedly as Sephiroth's violence had been. All of it was so confusing and unsettling, and she bit into her lip, trembling as tears stained her cheeks.
She inhaled deeply, her breath hitching as she whispered words of encouragement to her own image.
"You're stronger than this, Tifa. Hold on."
Her fingers trembled as she wiped her face clean. With one last look at her reflection, Tifa steeled herself, leaving the alcove to join the ceremony below.
The night had wrapped Cosmo Canyon in a velvet shroud by the time Tifa emerged, the stars above weaving an intricate tapestry of light against the infinite dark. She moved with quiet grace towards the glow of the Cosmo Candle, its flames reaching skyward like the fiery hands of the planet itself.
Through the dance of shadows and light, Tifa's gaze was drawn to two figures standing apart from the rest. Cloud, his blond hair a halo in the firelight, stood with a rigidness that spoke volumes. Beside him, Aerith stood with animated excitement, her gestures painting the air with invisible strokes as she conversed with him.
Tifa's heart beat a staccato rhythm against her ribs as she watched, hidden in the shadows. Aerith leaned in, her proximity to Cloud an almost intimate invasion of space, and Tifa could feel the tension radiating from where she stood. Cloud's reaction was as silent as ricocheting bullets; he turned his head away, his frown etching lines of discomfort across his usually impassive features.
For a moment, Tifa was an unseen spectator to their wordless exchange. As Aerith continued to speak, her hands fluttering like the wings of a captive bird, Cloud took a subtle step back, his arms folding defensively over his chest.
As she watched them, Tifa felt a deep sense of unease. Aerith lifted on her toes, her continued proximity to Cloud making Tifa's heart clench. Cloud's awkwardness, his frown, his retreat—none of it seemed to matter in the face of the possibility that Aerith could be as close to him in a way that Tifa herself may once have been but woefully had forgotten. It was a possibility that gnawed at her soul, leaving her feeling raw and exposed.
Tears welled in her eyes, blurring her vision as she struggled to contain the emotions that threatened to overwhelm her. Why did she feel this way? Why did the thought of Cloud being with someone else hurt so much? She had no right to expect anything exclusive with him, especially when her own memories were a shattered mosaic of half-remembered truths and an empty, barren past.
Tifa turned away, her chest tight with a mix of sorrow and confusion. She found a secluded spot, a small alcove nestled between two large rocks, and sank to the ground. The soft murmur of the gathering crowd preparing for the River of Lights ceremony drifted to her ears, but she felt isolated, cut off from the joy and anticipation that filled the air.
As she sat there, waiting for the ceremony to begin, Tifa's mind wandered back to the snippets of her past and the memories that she could remember. The warmth of childhood summers and the fires of her village's death, the green glow of the Lifestream as it beckoned her towards a greater purpose that she couldn't understand. She clenched her fists, her nails digging into her palms as she tried to make sense of the tumultuous emotions roiling within her.
In the dim light of the approaching night, Tifa allowed herself to grieve for the memories she had lost and the uncertainties that plagued her heart. She longed for clarity, for the truth about her relationship with Cloud, but for now, all she could do was wait and hope that the answers would come in time. As the first lanterns were released into the sky, their soft glow mirrored the flickering hope within her, a hope that she and Cloud would find their way back to each other, no matter what the past held. The sight was a jagged edge against Tifa's heart, yet she remained motionless, a statue carved from longing and confusion. Her chest tightened, the ache spreading like wildfire through her veins, but she offered no sound, no movement to betray her vigil.
The flickering flames of the Cosmo Candle cast a warm, amber hue over the gathered faces as they watched the River of Lights ceremony unfold. Each lantern released into the night sky carried a silent wish, ascending towards the stars with a promise of hope and renewal. Cloud stood among the throng, his gaze following the lanterns' ascent, but his thoughts were anchored firmly to the ground, heavy with concern.
Aerith's voice, melodic and clear, had risen above the murmur of the crowd, speaking of her Cetra heritage with a reverence that touched the hearts of all who listened. Yet Cloud could scarcely concentrate on her words; instead, he felt the nagging pull of inner conflict, an insistent throb that drowned out the ceremony like a discordant note.
He remembered the seminar earlier that day, the scoffing laughter that had greeted Tifa's earnest account of falling into the Lifestream. The ridicule had stung, not just Tifa, but him as well—deeply. Since then, she'd seemed more melancholy and distant, her usual light dimmed by a shadow of sadness that pained him to witness. His heart clenched at the thought of her distress, a tightness that begged for release in the form of comfort he yearned to give.
But Tifa had vanished after the seminar, slipping away like a wisp of smoke, leaving Cloud cornered by Aerith's chaotic persistence. Cloud considered the Cetra to be a good friend after the first tumultuous weeks since they'd first met, but she had an accomplished ability to scrape beneath his nerves.
"Cloud," she had said, her eyes searching his, "you need to help Tifa." And though the intent behind her gaze was pure, it unsettled him, forcing him to dance delicately around feelings he far preferred to keep buried and to himself. It wasn't the first time Aerith had tried to rope him into a conversation about Tifa and he suspected it wouldn't be the last.
Thankfully, he'd managed to slip away from her, and her distraction at Cosmo Canyon's reverence of her Cetran ancestry kept her occupied for the rest of the evening. As the last lantern disappeared into the darkness, the crowd began to disperse, their voices a soft murmur against the backdrop of the infinite cosmos. But Cloud remained still, caught in the gravity of his hesitations, the memory of Tifa's hurt look anchoring him to the spot like a chain to his soul. He needed to find her, to speak the words that might dispel the shadows and bring back her smile—a smile that was, to him, as vital as the very air he breathed.
The embers of the Cosmo Candle danced like restless spirits in the night, casting their warm glow across Tifa's solemn face. Cloud moved through the thinning crowd, his boots crunching softly on the gravel as he approached her side.
"Hey," he said softly, the word more breath than sound.
Tifa didn't turn to look at him, her gaze fixed on the bonfire's dance. The light painted her features in a warm glow, casting the subtlest of shadows beneath her lashes. She was a portrait of stillness, yet the tremble in her shoulders spoke volumes to Cloud's observant eyes.
"Is this seat taken?" His voice was a gentle murmur, calibrated to soothe rather than intrude.
"Only by ghosts," she finally replied, not bothering to turn, her voice tinged with a melancholy that wrapped around him, intimate and raw.
Cloud hesitated at her sharpness but sat down beside her, their shoulders nearly touching, the space between them charged. He realized he was incapable of keeping much distance from her and he cursed himself for this fact. He watched her profile, the soft curve of her cheek, the way her lips parted ever so slightly as she breathed.
"Are you okay?" The question was meant to bridge the distance, yet it felt inadequate in the face of everything happening around them.
"I'm fine," Tifa rejoined somewhat hurriedly. "That was a nice ceremony. What of tomorrow?"
She was clipped and to the point, discussing logistics rather than emotion. It threw Cloud off balance. In the flickering light, he could see the distant gleam of tears threatening to spill over her dark lashes. She was trying so hard to hold it all at bay, and once again, Cloud felt his monumental failure at helping her overcome it.
"In the morning we face the cave of the Gi," he recounted Bugenhagen's earlier announcement. "And after that, straight to Nibelheim."
Cloud turned to Tifa, observing how the firelight caressed her features, igniting flecks of amber in her eyes and painting her skin with hues of gold and crimson.
He reached out, hesitantly, a gloved hand hovering just shy of her arm. "Tifa… you seem... more upset than usual." It was not a question but an invitation, one that was probably crossing a line but one that he could not hold in nonetheless.
Tifa drew in a shuddering breath, her chest rising and falling under the simple white tank that clung to her like a second skin. She remained cloaked in her reticence, the walls she built to protect herself standing firm against his gentle probe.
"They don't understand," Cloud said, his voice infused with a quiet defiance. He thought of the elders, how they had dismissed her harrowing experience within the lifestream as if it were nothing more than a child's nightmare. "To hell with them."
The corner of her mouth twitched, a ghost of a smile that vanished as quickly as it appeared. Tifa's eyes, usually so full of fire and conviction, now held a glimmer of vulnerability that reached out to Cloud, beckoning him into the depths of her uncertainty.
In the sacred silence of Cosmo Canyon, where the whispers of the ancients seemed to echo off the stoic cliffs, Cloud felt the weight of his emotions stir; a maelstrom of desire, protection, and an ache to bridge the gap between them.
"Tifa," he murmured, his voice rough like the winds that carved the canyons, "I'm here to listen."
Tifa's breath hitched, and she finally turned to face him, her eyes reflecting the fires of the Cosmo Candle—a beacon in the darkness, guiding lost travelers back home.
Under the tapestry of stars, Cloud shifted closer to Tifa, the warmth from the dying embers of the fire barely contesting the chill of the desert night. His eyes traced the contour of her face, illuminated by the gentle dance of flame reflected in her gaze.
A laugh escaped her lips, airy and light, yet it never quite reached her eyes.
"Cloud," she said, her voice a whisper woven with the night's breeze, "I don't even know who I am, who we are," Her words lingered between them, delicate and fraught with unspoken fears. "And there's so much I can't remember. It's like I'm fading away..."
She paused, a tremor in her breath. "And Aerith. Sometimes I wonder if…"
Cloud felt a sharp pang in his chest—a mixture of surprise and a kind of hurt that only comes from misconstrued understandings. His heart hammered against its cage, a drumbeat out of sync with the rhythm of everything he knew to be true.
"Is that what you think?" The question slipped out, edged with an emotion he couldn't quite name. The last thing he wanted, especially at this juncture, was for Tifa to get the wrong idea, to think that she had any competition in his heart.
No one could compare, could even come close to taking her place. The love he had for her went deeper than his memories or even his soul.
if only he could properly express that.
He took a moment, organizing the chaos within him, before continuing. "Tifa…"
Cloud reached out, his fingers tentatively brushing the back of her hand, urging her to look back at him. His voice was low, a gentle cadence meant only for her ears amidst the symphony of Cosmo Canyon's nocturnal serenade.
"Aerith... " he began, each syllable carrying the weight of truths that had resurfaced painfully when they first arrived in Gongaga. He realized now that Tifa remembered none of those difficult conversations concerning Aerith's past, and that her amnesia meant that any interaction he had with Aerith may have been colored strangely to her. "She's a friend, Tifa. Just a friend. Just like she's your friend, just like Barret is our friend, and Nanaki, and Cait, and… Yuffie too, I guess."
That got her to laugh, if only briefly, He watched the light of understanding cross Tifa's face, her eyes reflecting the embers that danced like captive stars at their feet. She nodded slowly, a silent acknowledgment of the sincerity behind his words.
She finally turned to face him, and the vulnerability in her eyes struck him with the force of a revelation. "I just… I keep wondering," she whispered, her gaze flickering like the flames before them. "…about... us. What we are to each other."
The confession hung in the air, a fragile thing waiting to be shaped by his response. Cloud's heart thrummed a painful rhythm against his ribs, each beat echoing her words, resonating with a longing that was growing more and more difficult to tame.
"Whatever we are," Cloud began, his voice barely above the crackle of the fire, "it's something I don't want to lose." It probably wasn't the smoothest thing he could have said, but it felt as honest and real as anything else in his heart.
Tifa's breath caught, and for a heartbeat, the world seemed to hold its breath with her. Her eyes searched his, delving deep as if to unearth the truth buried under years of shared history and unspoken confessions that they were both trying to wade through.
"Listen to me," Cloud urged, his voice dropping to a hush. "You're—you mean everything to me. More than I ever let on. Maybe I don't know what to call it, but…"
The words hung between them, tender and fraught with the gravity of emotions long held at bay. He watched as she lifted her gaze to the heavens, where the constellations spun their ancient stories above. A single tear traced a glistening path down her cheek, catching the light of distant suns that had shone down upon lovers throughout the ages.
"Cloud," she whispered, her voice barely audible over the crackling of the fire. It wasn't a question, not even a statement, but an invocation of his name that seemed to hold all the complexities of their shared past and uncertain future in its grasp.
He could feel the pulse of the planet beneath them, a rhythm that resonated with the cadence of his own heart. At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to reach across the chasm of their doubts and fears, to pull her into the solace of his arms where he could shelter her from the storms that raged within.
But he stayed still, allowing her the space to navigate the tempest of her emotions, even as his own threatened to breach the walls he had meticulously built around himself. Cloud Strife, the man who had faced monsters and mayhem without flinching, found himself laid bare by the vulnerability in Tifa Lockhart's tears.
"Please don't cry," he murmured, the plea soft and fervent against the backdrop of the desert night. He had seen so many of her tears already, and he ruefully knew that he was almost always the reason behind them.
Cloud watched as Tifa's gaze fell from the stars to the flickering shadows cast by the Cosmo Candle. The silence between them was thick, punctuated only by the ritualistic drums humming through the canyon walls. She drew in a shaky breath, and the simple act seemed to draw forth the weight of her fears.
"I'm scared, Cloud," she admitted, her voice a tremulous whisper that cut through his defenses like the sharpest blade. "The amnesia, the Lifestream... Sephiroth…. going back to Nibelheim…" Each word was a stone added to the burden she bore, and he could see the strain it placed on her, bending but not breaking.
She began to weep.
Cloud's heart clenched—her pain echoing within him, reverberating through the hollows he tried so hard to hide. Memories of Aerith's garden bloomed in his mind, where he'd held Tifa close, a sanctuary amidst chaos and cinder and ash. Without a thought, his arms reached out, encircling Tifa in an embrace as natural as breathing. He pulled her in, a tight hold that sought to meld their fragmented pieces together.
"I'm here, Tifa," he whispered against her hair, forgoing his earlier pleas for her not to cry, his voice a soothing balm as she buried her face into the crook of his neck. Her sobs were muffled against his skin, each one a hot ember sparking against him as they slipped into the soft fabric of his sweater, igniting a fierce need to protect, to comfort, to be her unwavering pillar.
Time stretched and folded upon itself, measured by her breaths gradually evening out, the rise and fall of her chest syncing with his own. When she finally lifted her head, Tifa's eyes shimmered—a liquid galaxy reflecting emotions that Cloud found himself falling into head-first. His breath hitched as he traced the tear tracks on her cheeks with his thumb, his touch feather-light.
Their faces were mere inches apart, breaths mingling, a silent, magnetic pull between them. Cloud could feel the tension weave through the charge in the air, his heart overcome by longing and desire as he lost himself in her scent and the crimson pools behind her lashes. Eyes locked, they leaned closer, the space between them charged with the electric promise of what could be. Their lips hovered in an almost-touch, a dance of desire so palpable that the very air around them seemed to vibrate.
They were so close, and Cloud could feel his eyes grow heavy. The thought of having Tifa's lips against his again was like waiting to be blessed by a goddess, eclipsed by the memory of that cherished moment in a bedroom in Gongaga when he fell to his knees in front of her and she promised to save him.
But then, without warning, Tifa flinched back, severing the invisible thread that had drawn them together. The abruptness of her retreat left Cloud grasping at the lingering warmth of her presence, the ghost of a connection that had been moments away from igniting into flame.
Tifa's abrupt motion to rise left a cold void where her warmth had just been. "I'm sorry," she murmured, voice trembling like the flame of a candle caught in a draft. "I should get some sleep. Tomorrow... it's a big day." Her eyes darted away, not quite meeting his, as she brushed past him, footsteps light and hasty against the stone ground.
"Wait—" Cloud started, but the word died on his lips when she quickened her pace, becoming one with the shadows that clung to Cosmo Canyon's rugged walls. She dabbed at her eyes with the back of her hand, a delicate gesture that spoke volumes of the turmoil swirling within her.
And like an extinguished flame, she was gone.
He was left alone by the dying embers of the fire, its once vibrant dance reduced to a mournful flicker. The stars above seemed distant now, their twinkling light mocking the heaviness in Cloud's chest. He felt the acute sting of isolation, the silence around him oppressive, as if the canyon itself held its breath, waiting for something to break.
Cloud sank down, the coldness of the rock seeping through his SOLDIER uniform, a chill that matched the unease knotting his insides. His mind was a battlefield of emotions—hurt tangled with confusion, love laced with an aching sadness. How could he bridge the chasm that fear and uncertainty had carved between them?
He longed to envelop Tifa in the safety of his arms again, to shield her from the pain that haunted her steps. Yet, even as he sat there, her fleeting presence still lingering in the air, he grappled with the shadows of doubt that clouded his thoughts.
The truth was a silent specter at his side; he loved her, more deeply than the canyons that cradled them. But how could he mend what had been fractured when words failed him, when every attempt to draw close only seemed to push her further away?
He couldn't even manage to get her to remember their promise.
Cloud gazed into the remnants of the fire, seeking answers in its smoldering core. The glow cast a soft light upon his features, etching lines of determination amidst the sorrow. He would find a way, he resolved.
For Tifa, he would become the steadfast beacon that guided her through the night's uncertainties.