Oops.

Well, I don't recommend trying to write a fan fiction when you are starting residency in the middle of a pandemic. I also don't recommend trying to write a fanficiton when having a baby. But here we are. Welcome back.

Truly I lost the plot to this story a while back and haven't had the heart to try to re write. I have 2 chapters left pre-written, and then I plan to try to write the plot again. I am grateful for anyone who still may have followed, and I hope this chapter makes up for the few years of hiatus. Hopefully the rest of the story will come sooner, and will be what people hope it will be.

Thanks for reading, thanks for sticking with me if you're still here, and hopefully I can create something that brings someone joy.

On to the story.

Chapter 9: The Plot Thickens

September 24th, 1988

"So, as you can see, Professor," Lily showed him the note, "not only are we concerned about these objects called Horcruxes, but someone in Sirius' family was also clearly concerned that Voldemort would be trying to collect the Deathly Hallows. We know Voldemort didn't get them before he 'died' because, if this is accurate, you still have the Elder Wand. I know we gave you James' cloak for safe keeping, and the more that I've thought about it the last few weeks, I think you and he knew this was the Cloak of Invisibility. Why else would he make sure that even if Voldemort came to our house, he couldn't get it?" Lily was just about out of breath. Remus and Sirius had come with her to tell Dumbledore of their theories and concerns. They had let Lily do much of the talking. Severus was behind Dumbledore, and Sirius was concerned he would say something that would upset the peace.

The old man in front of them scratched his beard. His usually twinkling eyes had a flicker of concern swirling within them. "I do believe you are correct, and that the Peverell's are the original three brothers." The older man stood and walked to face the window looking out at the grounds. "I also have been theorizing that Voldemort made at least one Horcrux in order to survive, but I do not know how many. I have been collecting memories of those around him in his younger years for quite some time now in an attempt to figure out items that he might have used for Horcruxes. He had a striking obsession for the Hogwarts founders, but other than that I have only found an obsession for his Muggle father."

Lily heard a gasp and realized it had come from her.

"Yes, it is quite surprising that the man that has done nothing but target Muggles and Mugggleborns is a half-blood himself, isn't it? I still have much to learn about his past and am still collecting memories. One thing I do know is that he is the heir of Slytherin through the Gaunt family on his Mother's side." Dumbledore went back to his chair. "There is still no way to confirm that he used Horcruxes, though, unfortunately until we find one. I believe our next step is for you to find that book, Mrs. Potter." Dumbledore reached into a drawer in his desk and pulled out a cloak that the three across the desk from him recognized instantly. He also pulled out his wand. "As for the three items that Death left the Peverell brothers, you are correct in that Voldemort was trying to obtain them. Two of them have been in my possession since James died. The Elder Wand I won many years ago in my final battle with Gel… Grindlewald. The other one was given to me by your late husband for safe keeping until Harry came to Hogwarts. You see, James told me that it is tradition in the Potter family that the eldest son gets the Cloak of Invisibility when they come to school at the age of 11. He had asked that in whatever scenario occurs I maintain this tradition for him and keep the cloak out of Voldemort's hands until then and that is exactly what I plan to do."

Dumbledore took a deep breath. "Now, I don't suspect a Horcrux to show itself until the being that Voldemort now is has gained the strength required to participate in any of the rituals or potions detailed in this third volume. I do think that it would be helpful if we could find the second volume. The largest problem I have had so far is figuring out how to identify horcruxes themselves. Do you have any idea as to where this second book could be?"

Lily was still processing the information Dumbledore had just divulged, but she heard Remus speak up behind her. "Sirius and I found the original three books in the Black library in the Bahamas, so our theory is that whoever wrote the note found in the Peverell book likely hid the book about Horcruxes – or at least tried to separate them from the other two volumes. I think the next move is to look in the obvious locations, such as the library and rooms at Grimmauld place. Then we need to look into who could have done this research, if we do not find it there."

Severus spoke up. "From the way this note is written, it appears the writer was close to the Dark Lord and has vital perceptions of what was important to the Dark Lord. With how many of the Black family were close to the Dark Lord at his peak, we will have a large number of suspects."

Sirius felt chills run down his spine. "Well, I can guarantee you it wasn't me. I think we can also take Regulus and Bellatrix off of the list. They were the most dedicated to him in my family at the time." Severus nodded.

"I think you should add Narcissa – she would have had access to the cottage until you took over as Lord Black, correct? And she's Slytherin to the core – I would not put it past her to have a backup plan to take the Dark Lord down if things weren't going her way." Severus asked.

Sirius winced. "Must you keep calling him the Dark Lord?" He watched Severus roll his eyes. "But yes, she would have. My mother would have allowed her to do anything she asked, including taking a vacation in her home in the Bahamas." Sirius sighed. "I suppose we should also add my mother and father to the list. They were followers of his long before he was actually known as Lord Voldemort." Sirius sighed, this was going to be a difficult journey for him no matter how much he had separated himself from his family. "We don't know when the note was written, so we may need to look at my aunts and uncles as well."

Severus sneered at him, but Lily interjected. "This is going to be a team effort, you two. We'll need to get along as well as we can considering the circumstances. We're fighting for the same cause."

Sirius and Severus glared at each other. "Padfoot, cool it." Remus chimed in.

Sirius ripped his eyes from Severus. "Considering everything we've discussed today, I think the next step is to schedule a time for us to head to Grimmauld place. It has to be done. We'll search for the book, and Dumbledore will keep collecting these memories." Sirius sighed. "Dumbledore, how much time do you think we have before he acts."

Dumbledore eyed Sirius, then Lily. "I still believe we have a few years before he gains the strength to act."

Lily visibly calmed. "Good. That's good."

"October 9th." Severus said quietly from behind Dumbledore.

"What?" Remus replied.

"October 9th. I will bring Draco, Lily can bring Harry. We can go on the disguise of another play date with Harry, and to show Draco his mother's ancestral home. I was already hoping the two children could meet together that weekend. This would, as you put it, 'kill two birds with one stone'."

"We can make that work." Lily replied. "Just keep this quiet. No one needs to know we're working together yet, and I'd like to keep that to our advantage."

October 9th, 1988

Lily, Remus and Sirius sat in the living room of Grimmauld place, watching Harry play with the toy plane they'd brought with them.

"I think I'm finally beginning to understand you better, Sirius." Lily said, grimacing at the heads of old house elves on the wall. She'd had a difficult time explaining that one to Harry.

Sirius chortled as he put his feet up on the uncomfortable living room couch. "It took you all these years to understand me? I'm hurt, Lils!"

Lily rolled her eyes from the adjacent chair. The aesthetic of the Black family home really shouldn't have surprised her. Sirius had warned her so many times, told them so many stories of his childhood that should have given her a larger tip-off. "If we're going to use this house in any capacity during the fight we expect is coming, it will need a good amount of work."

Sirius grumbled. "Good luck telling Kreacher that." He crossed his legs on the hard couch and put his arms behind his head. "He worships the ground my family walked on. I've figured out over the last couple of years that he will do things for me if I give him an item with the family crest on it. He still calls me blood traitor whenever he can. And he's absolutely pouting today since I told him we were coming over to look for the bloody book."

Lily heard Remus chuckle. "You did bring a Muggleborn, a werewolf and a half-blood into the house."

As Remus was chatting, the flames in the fireplace in front of them lit up a green hue.

Severus and Draco walked out of the fireplace, barely a particle of soot on them. He eyed Sirius' positioning on the couch, and Sirius sat up glaring back at him. "I hope we are not intruding."

"Wait, there's a werewolf here?" Draco asked immediately.

Lily saw Remus flinch. He must have heard Remus' joke as he'd been going through the floo. She turned to Draco, "Don't worry, dear. There's no one here that will hurt you." She smiled at them. "Draco, have you met our friends Remus Lupin and Sirius Black before?"

Draco shook his head, and the little blonde eight-year-old walked up to Sirius, offering his hand. A stuffy voice that Lily hadn't heard before said, "It is a pleasure to meet you, Lord Black. My mum says you're her cousin."

Sirius laughed. "None of that here, little cousin Malfoy. Here, I am Harry's uncle. Call me Sirius."

Draco smiled. "Alright then, it's a pleasure to meet you, Sirius." Draco turned to Remus. Lily hadn't seen this side of Draco before – he was always so relaxed in front of her and Harry. This must be the persona the poor child had around the rest of the world. "And Mr. Lupin, it is good to meet you." Malfoy put his hand out to shake Remus' hand.

Remus smiled at Draco. "I'm Harry's other uncle, so please, it's Remus for me as well."

Draco smiled, and Lily spoke up. "Draco, why don't you and Harry stay here and play. We have some work to get done in the library, which is right there." Lily pointed at the open French doors behind them. "Stay here, you two, unless you need us. We'll be leaving the doors open so we'll be able to hear you if you need anything. And no touching items that aren't yours, okay?"

"Yes, mum!" Harry smiled.

Severus stiffly turned to Draco. "Be good, Draco."

"Yes, Severus." Draco replied.

The four adults walked to the vast library behind them. Lily had already tried to accio the book as soon as they got there, and it hadn't worked. That meant it either wasn't here, or it had a protection spell on it which they assumed was likely. Lily had a plan on making sure today didn't completely fall apart. "Alright, everyone. My mother always said many hands make light work. Sirius, why don't you take Remus and look through the other rooms in the house. You know this house the best and pay close attention to the bedrooms of those we suspect could have been the one trying to take down Voldemort." Sirius nodded, and left the room. They heard him start up the stairs. "Severus, let's get through reading as many titles as we can. The two books we found were black, so it might be safe to assume the second volume is black. Let's get started." Lily smiled at the three boys, turned to the ladder on the east wall, and climbed.

It was going to be a long day.

"What is this thing anyway?" Draco said to Harry as he ran around with the toy plane.

"It's a plane! It's how the muggles get around!"

Draco rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "You mean to tell me that Muggles go everywhere in the air on a giant machine?"

Harry shook his head. "Not everywhere. They go short distances in cars, but if they need to go somewhere far, they use planes. They can even go as fast as the speed of sound, and into space!" Harry began to make plane noises and jumped up onto the couch, letting his plane soar into the air. He was startled by a popping sound, and almost fell off.

Kreacher had appeared next to the couch and stood glaring at Harry's feet. "No shoes on the couch." Kreacher sneared, "Didn't your Mudblood mother teach you anything?"

Harry turned to the house elf who had appeared in front of him, his eyes wide with shock. "Mum says that's a bad word, sir elf. It's mean. I didn't think house elves were mean."

Draco crossed his arms and cocked his head. "What do you mean? I use that word all the time."

Harry took a deep breath and jumped off the couch. "Sir elf, I'm sorry I jumped on to the couch, but I would appreciate it if you used the word 'Muggleborn' instead of the one you used. It isn't nice to treat people bad."

Kreacher grimaced and narrowed his eyes at the small boy in front of him. "Only if the Master wants it, and you aren't Master. No more jumping on the couch."

Kreacher disappeared with a pop, and Harry faced Draco. He sighed, wincing. "Did you honestly mean it when you said that you use that word at home?" Draco nodded in response. "Why?"

"I don't know." Draco said, looking down at his shoes. Harry couldn't help but feel like he looked embarrassed. "I've never questioned it. Why would I, both my parents use it all the time."

Harry sat on the couch, plane forgotten. There was a silent moment shared between the two friends before Harry gained the courage to talk. "Because it's never said in a kind way. Doesn't that tell you it's a mean word that can hurt people's feelings?"

Draco blushed. "Even so, why would I question my parents? They must have a reason." He sat down next to his friend.

"So why don't you find out the reason? All it takes is a little courage. That's what Sirius says whenever he's having a hard time taking down the bad guys as an Auror. He just needs a little more Gryffindor courage."

Draco snorted and rolled his eyes. "If I had any Gryffindor courage, my family wouldn't like me very much. We're all Slytherins, just like Professor Snape."

"And you're proud of it."

Draco smiled. "You know it. Just as proud as you are to be from a family of Gryffindors."

"But weren't all the Death Eaters Slytherins?"

Draco eyed Harry. "Peter Pettigrew was a Gryffindor." Harry winced, and Draco immediately felt remorseful. "Sorry, I didn't mean it that way."

"No, it's okay. You're right. I guess anyone from any house can have issues. My mum says it's okay to be proud of what house you come from, but to know that all of the houses have their good sides and bad sides. She was friends with Severus when my dad and uncles weren't the nicest to him because he was a Slytherin." Harry looked up at Draco. "But I'd appreciate if you didn't use that word around me, Draco. It hurts my feelings. That's my mum you're talking about when you use that word."

With a nod, Draco replied, "I guess how I can see how some courage could be a good thing. And if you want me to stop using it, then I'll do my best. I wouldn't like it if people were saying mean things about my mum either. Tell me more about the cars."

Meanwhile, a companionable silence had fallen amongst the two former friends in the library. The muffled voices of their charges could be heard from the other room. Lily smiled, although she wouldn't have expected Draco Malfoy to be a friend to her son, she knew Harry needed all the normalcy he could get. The Weasleys and Luna had been good friends for Harry, but the ability to experience a diversity of friendships was something she couldn't help but feel he was lacking with being home schooled by her and Molly. Sending him to muggle school had been something she had wanted for him but knew he couldn't have with such fame hanging over their heads. Lily ran her fingers down the spine of the book in front of her, Bezoar Potion Reversal Theory. It had been at least an hour since she had started on the top shelves on the ladder and Severus had started on the bottom shelves. In the silence, Lily almost felt the comfort of her own former friendship. In her musing, she hadn't realized that Severus had asked her something.

"Did you hear me, Lily?"

Lily looked down to the long-haired man standing beneath her running his fingers down the spine of books just like she was. "No, I didn't Severus."

"Have you been teaching Harry potioneering?" Severus repeated, his focus still on the books in front of him.

"The absolute basics. He watches me when I make the basic potions for our home – I like to keep a number of healing tonics on hand. Between Sirius' work as an Auror, having a werewolf around after the full moon, and the Weasley bunch I find that I run out quickly. When I became a Healer, I didn't realize how much it would help me be a mum, too. It makes me much less worried when someone accidentally breaks an arm at the Burrow when I know I can heal it up quickly." She smiled to herself, thinking of the children she had come to love running around the back pond. So many of them had slipped and fallen in over the years.

Severus grunted. "It would probably be better for them to stop worrying you by being reckless in the first place."

Lily laughed. "Well, Sirius and Remus really can't help it. But the kids are just being kids. I broke my arm when I still thought I was a muggle, before we met. It happens." She ran her finger down the spine of the next black book she came across, Different Uses of Aconite.

"Draco never breaks any of his bones. I don't see why the other children can't."

Lily sighed, choosing to ignore Severus' comment. "How is Draco doing, by the way. I've noticed he's a lot more outgoing since we first met all those years ago. His formal charade caught me off guard today."

"His parents are quite stuffy themselves, if you've ever spent a significant amount of time with them you'd know. I only watch him a few weekends a month when his parents are at ministry functions or former Death Eater gatherings. It feels like every time I see him his ego has been fluffed a bit more. The friends his parents have him seeing – Crabbe and Goyle's gremlins – do nothing but follow him around. They don't actually engage him." Severus sighed and she watched him run his finger down the next book spine. "With what we know is coming, I am just hopeful I can avoid the fate I expect his parents will encourage. During the last war, they chose the side that they did because Malfoy's father was one of the original followers of the Dark Lord. Malfoy was raised to be a Death Eater. He didn't see any other path." Lily ran her finger down the next spine, Elderflower in Protection Potions. "I just don't want him forced down the path that we were."

Lily's finger halted. "Forced?"

Snape grunted. "You know I didn't have a choice, Lily."

She felt anger well up inside her stomach. "I don't remember you being raised by Death Eaters. Just a drunk."

She looked down to see Severus stiffen. "They recruited me. They convinced me. They messed with my head."

Lily shook her head. "They didn't force you into anything, Severus. You chose that path. I gave you plenty of opportunities to get out before the end of fifth year. After that, the path you went down was one you chose."

Severus winced. "You know I regret that."

Lily moved her finger down the next spine. It was black and lacked a title, so she pulled the book off of the shelf. "I know. You apologized every day the entire summer after fifth year. But it didn't change what you did because you meant it when you said it that day. I still have nightmares of you calling me that name. I lost my best friend when a war against those of my blood status was beginning." She sighed as she felt the black hard cover of the book in her hands. "I thank the stars I had Alice and Marlene during that time. To have friends that understood it could be a death sentence standing up for me, and doing it nonetheless." Lily missed her friends – she had lost so much by the end of the war. "Your apology at the time meant nothing, because you believed what you said. You just felt I was different than the other Mugglborns. So, I didn't believe your apology to be honest. And it wasn't, because by the end of sixth year you had the dark mark."

Severus gasped. "How did you know when I got the mark? I never told you."

"You honestly think Petunia stopped caring about me at all, Severus?" Lily felt her eyes welling, and her voice filled with emotion. "I had told her everything. She might have hated my magic, but she didn't hate me. I am still her sister." She felt herself take a shaky breath. "The summer after sixth year, she was still living at home with me before she got engaged to Vernon. She saw you apparate away from your house by touching your wand to your arm and she knew what that meant." Lily sighed, holding the book to her chest. "And I was utterly crushed. There was a time when I felt it was my fault that you had chosen that path. But she told me, quite honestly," Lily chuckled from the memory, her tears forgotten, "that if you really believed I was worth less because of my blood then I shouldn't feel guilty for your decision to join them. If you didn't know me, maybe you would have joined sooner. I found comfort in that. But of course, her main mantra was that if my first boyfriend really had loved me, he wouldn't have been such an arse." Lily heard Severus take a sharp breath in.

She opened the book she had been holding, and a loud scream startled her. She felt herself lose her balance as the book fell from her arms. Air replaced the steady wood underneath her feet, and she heard herself scream as she fell. It was a short way down, but she never reached the floor. Instead, a pair of steady arms caught her. She looked up at the curtain of black hair, his brown eyes filled with emotion. "I never joined because I thought you were less than me, Lily. I am trying to help Draco so that he doesn't have to face the kind of choice I had to face. I joined because I wanted to protect the woman I loved. Because I still loved you after all that time." He put her down gently, softly. "I still love you."

Lily felt her knees weaken and her heart skipped a beat as she looked into the brown eyes she had known so well. "If you loved me, Severus, you wouldn't have joined. You know that."

Severus inched closer to her, his eyes captivated by hers and was about to respond when Harry and Draco came running through the door. "Mum, are you okay?" Lily backed away from Severus quickly, putting space between the two of them.

"Mummy just had a fall, sweetie." Lily walked up to her son, her entire world. She bent her knees so that she was eye level with him. "Professor Snape caught me though, so I'm okay. I promise."

Lily didn't see how Draco eyed Severus carefully. Although Harry was concerned about his mother, Draco noticed the pain in Severus' eyes. He noted the sadness in Severus' demeanor that always seemed to haunt him when Mrs. Potter was around, and the closeness of the two when they had first walked in the room. He watched his godfather carefully and Severus shrugged in reply.

"Lily, we heard a scream. Are you alright?" Sirius barreled in through the doors of the library, running to Lily with open arms.

Lily laughed as one of the two men she had come to rely on squeezed her tightly. "I'm perfectly fine, Sirius. I just fell off the top rung of the ladder. Severus caught me." Remus, who had come in behind Sirius, raised his eyebrow at her. "Don't worry about me boys, I'm okay." Lily hoped that Remus had caught her double meaning and looked back at the children. "Why don't you guys keep playing? We've only gotten through about half of the library. You two still have time to play."

Harry crossed his arms and turned towards Sirius. "Only if Uncle Sirius tells Kreacher to stop using the bad M word."

Sirius' eyes fumed. Lily sighed at his short fuse. "What did Kreacher do now?"

Lily listened to her son's story of Kreacher's use of the "bad word". She watched Draco carefully, interested in how he had reacted. "Draco," she heard Severus say from behind her, "what did you think of Kreacher using that word."

The room stopped to look at the small blonde boy in their presence. "It hurt Harry's feelings that Kreacher used that word about his mum. So, I think Kreacher shouldn't use it anymore."

Lily smiled at Draco. "Well I appreciate that very much, Draco. Sirius, why don't you have a chat with Kreacher and finish up the upstairs with Remus. We haven't had any luck so far, but hopefully the second half of the Library will be a little luckier for us."

Sirius sighed and nodded. "My parent's room and the room that Narcissa, Andy and Bellatrix always stayed in while they were here came up empty. We still need to look through Regulus' room and the two bedrooms my aunts and uncles would stay in." Sirius' eyes sparkled. "And this time Severus goes up on the ladder. I can't take any more heart attacks today. James would come back to haunt me if you got hurt."

Lily laughed. "Fine, if you insist. Although I think if James was going to come back, he already would have done so." Sirius and Remus chuckled, and Lily shooed them out of the room.

She turned to her former childhood friend before he could say anything to continue their earlier conversation and sighed. "Look, I appreciate what you are doing for Draco. I think it's so important that he has a path he can follow that will not result in following Voldemort. But don't do it for me. Do it for him. Do it so that he has a future you two can both be proud of."

Severus met her eyes after a moment of silence. "That's all? That's all you're going to say." She could feel the frustration rolling off of him in droves.

"Yes, Severus. That's all I'm going to say. You know how I feel, and that hasn't changed." Lily sighed. "I married the love of my life whether you like it or not, and I have too many conflicting feelings about everything you just said to make sense of it. I told you I needed time to trust you, and you've gained that trust. But our friendship and our relationship won't come back, because while I can forgive you, I can't forget." She heard Severus sigh deeply. "Now, I ended on Elderflower in Protection Potions…"

Lily sat at her desk and sighed. She had just read with Harry before bed, their usual night time routine, and she was utterly exhausted. The day hadn't been a complete bust – Remus had found a few dark objects in some of the bedrooms that Sirius was able to turn into the office when they were done. She jotted a few quick notes in her journal that she had been keeping to keep track of what they had been learning about Horcruxes and Sirius' family, but winced when she truly realized the size of the grinding halt they had come to.

She jumped at the sound of the hatch behind her opening, and she turned to see Sirius' head hovering in the hole in the floor, laughing at her. "You know, Lily, it shouldn't be all that surprising anymore." He kept chuckling as he lifted himself up the rest of the ladder and into the small study. "You spend almost every night here and almost every night I come to find you." Lily smiled as he walked up to her desk, leaning his arm against it. "What happened in the library, Lil. You've been quiet today. Harry didn't seem to notice, but Remus and I are worried. Before he went home, he told me to check in on you, so I'm checking."

"Well, I appreciate it." Lily grimaced. "Severus was just being difficult."

Sirius' barking laughter filled the air. "Isn't he always difficult?"

Lily huffed at him. "Well he was being more difficult than usual, alright?" Lily sighed, leaning back in her chair. "I didn't envisage my boyfriend from when I was fourteen to be barking up the same tree when we were 28."

Sirius grimaced. "That bad, huh? Need me to revitalize the Marauder pranking system? We might have lost the map, but I'm sure Remus and I could put something together for good ol' Sniv…"

Lily cut him off. "No, it's honestly okay. I knew he still had feelings for me but he just said a few things today that knocked away my composure, which I wasn't expecting."

"Don't let that creep fool you, Lily."

Lily chuckled, then sighed. "Don't be silly, Sirius. I haven't had feelings for anyone since James died, and for good reason. He was the love of my life. We might have only had a few years together, but he still fills my dreams. I could never betray James by getting back together with Severus." Lily folded her arms on the desk in front of her and put her head down on them. "He just came off as a bit obsessed today. He told me he still loves me. But I need his help. I can't deny that, just like I can't deny that there's a part of me that misses him as a friend. Remus and I have talked this through a number of times, but I keep coming back to the same conclusion."

"Well, Lily, you do know that the definition of insanity is just repeating yourself over and over and over and over and over…" Lily raised her head and took aim at Sirius' arm with the back of her hand. "Cut that out!"

Sirius' barking laugh again filled the air and Lily smiled. She thought of the small boy sleeping below her and couldn't help but smile. "I'll be okay, Sirius. You know me. I always am."

Thanks for reading, see you next time

writingblondie