The chatter is so loud Katniss can barely hear herself think. It seems like everyone in town has shoved themselves into the decorative square at the Victors Village. Delly, Winnow and herself, just like everyone else in town, walked off the site after the strike announcement. Upwards they went, like wild salmon, towards the Victors Village hill, all confusion and outrage.
"Katniss!" Someone shouts further along. She'd recognize that voice anywhere, that's Peeta.
"I'm going to—" She turns towards Delly, but she nudges her forwards in encouragement.
"Go, go." She smiles. "I gotta catch up with my brother anyway."
Katniss nods in return and goes on to push her way through the crowd, standing on her toes to see better. With all the District transplants, it's becoming apparent how short she really is, making her endeavours all the more difficult at the moment.
Peeta finds her up ahead, reaching out to grab her by the hand to pull her out of the mass of people. Her breath whooshes out of her, but she's glad to be near him.
"What a day, huh?" He says.
"Yeah, I know." She agrees, standing as close as she can so they don't loose each other in the crowd. "I wonder if we still get paid for half days." She jokes.
"I was really looking forward to my half share of 'Panem thanks you,'" Peeta says dryly.
"Okay, that's enough!" Someone shouts up ahead. "Everyone shut the hell up!"
They all go quiet. Matthew, in the middle of the crowd, manages to climb on top of the decorative planter at the center of the square, shaking his leg out when he inevitably gets snagged by the rose thorns there.
"Listen up," he shouts. "I know we didn't agree to it, but I hope you all really consider what this strike could mean before your minds get made up about it."
"But what's a strike?" Katniss whispers to Peeta.
"Beats me," he shrugs.
"We need to stand up to these Capitol people." Matthew continues. "They've been making decisions for us without asking. The least they could do is let us choose a representative, no matter how small our numbers are, and ask us what we want!"
"I know most of us have never been on a strike before." He continues. "But this crap used to work when my Pa was a boy. They've been saying we're free now, let's see if they mean it. Ya'll with me?"
A murmur goes around. Katniss watches her neighbors consider it. Most of them look concerned, scared even. It's a big ask for them, having just come out of a war where they'd been targeted so harshly. Katniss goes fishing for Peeta's hand and he readily grips hers, making her feel a little better.
"I don't know about everyone else, but yeah, what've I got to lose? I'll do it." A young raven-haired seam boy speaks up. He looks around awkwardly when everyone turns to stare at him. "What?"
"I'm with you kid." An old man adds.
Peeta turns to look at her with his eyebrows raised. Katniss shrugs but nods. He squeezes her hand
"I'm in too," Peeta adds in. "Katniss too, but she didn't wanna say anything."
She blushes as the crowd laughs. Slowly, more people agree until it seems most everyone is in on it. Matthew's smile grows and grows. He wrings the handkerchief in his hands, moping his forehead with it a moment later. "Damn. Ya'll had me worried."
There's a cautious good feeling in the air. Snows dead, right? How bad can it really be, going on strike?
She really hopes they don't end up regretting this.
Honk, honk, honk.
"Be patient," Katniss scoffs, ripping apart the loaf in her hands. "If you bite me again you ain't getting any!"
"Lovely," Haymitch comments from somewhere behind her. "She's patience, she's grace—"
"She's armed," Katniss grins over her shoulder.
Haymitch raises his bottle at her, "fair point."
She turns back to the geese, throwing bits of bread as far from her boots as she can. The devils pack a lot into a bite, vicious little things.
"So, what's going on with you?" Haymitch asks her.
"What'd you mean?" she spreads more bread across the grass.
"Well, you're here." He takes a long drink. "What'd you want?"
"Can't I just feed your stupid geese in peace?" she dodges an overly demanding one, throwing more bread to distract it. "You should be doing this, by the way."
"Ah," Haymitch waves her off. "that's what kids are for."
"You don't have any kids," she laughs. "Just unwilling mentees."
"Same thing." He takes another drink. "Well? If you don't hurry up, I'll fall asleep."
She sighs, tossing what's left of the loaf on the ground. She walks towards the house, going up Haymitch's porch steps and dropping into the seat next to him. He chuckles at her dramatics, but she ignores him so she can stare at the purple sunset.
"That one," the old man points to a smaller goose. "Is Katniss."
"You named one after me?" she glances at him. "Is it the loudest?"
"Nah, I named that one Peeta." His reply makes them both snicker. "Katniss is the biter."
"Good," she turns back to the birds.
"What do you want?" he insists.
"Nothing."
"Katniss." He stresses soberly. "Say what you came for or leave me alone."
"Are people treating Peeta different?" She groans. "Or is that all in my head?"
Haymitch decides now is the perfect moment to take another drink, to her absolute annoyance. He can't help snickering around the bottle when he catches the look on her face.
"Damn, calm down." He lowers the bottle to his knee. "I ain't the one doing it, sweetheart."
"What's going on?" she presses.
"I don't really know," he shrugs. "It doesn't matter. He's still working and talking with everyone else. It's not affecting him all that much."
"Well, it matters to me."
"People talk shit about you too you know. You don't seem to care about any of that." He points out.
"This is different, it's Peeta." She rolls her eyes like it should be obvious. "He's the likeable one."
He makes a conceding face, "ask Sae then."
"I don't want to bother her."
"But you'll bother me?" he shakes his head. "You know, for a seam kid you're shit at respecting your elders."
"You're not that old." She stands up and pats him on the shoulder. "Come back with that when you're sixty and then we'll talk."
"Get outta here," he shoves her hand away. "Don't forget my dinner!"
"Come get it yourself!" she calls back, already halfway across his front garden.
"Peeta!" Katniss shouts over her shoulder. "A hand please!"
It's early morning. She's been hunting since before sunrise, trying to get as big of a haul as she can manage. She'd prepped, bringing all her necessary supplies, some snacks, and a very large sack too. Too bad she hadn't thought about how hard it'd be to get everything back home without Gale around.
"Peeta!" she shouts again, dragging the sack through his bushes. She'll fix that later.
"I'm here," he replies, jogging down his back stoop. "Woah, what do we have here?"
"Apples," she pants. "All of them, probably."
"I'm going to make a pie," he brags, bending over to pick the sack up himself. "Where do you want this?"
"Kitchen," she says. She grabs his elbow when he starts walking in the direction of her house. "Yours."
"Oh, okay." He says easily, walking off towards the house.
"I also got you a duck. You like duck, right?" She asks, a step behind him.
"Love it," he confirms. He goes on to place the sack on the kitchen counter nearest the sink. "This seems like a lot of food for just me."
Katniss ignores that. She walks past him on her way to the fridge. "I got a lot of squirrels too."
"What are you doing?"
"What?" she asks. "Getting water?" she shoots him a funny look. She's literally holding his water pitcher. "Do you have any ice?"
"The fridge makes it."
"No, I mean, did you refill the water tank so there's ice? You forget."
"I—wait." He looks surprised. "Are you ignoring my questions?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." She puts on her best clueless face and pours herself a drink.
"You are," he sounds smug.
"If you say so." She leans against the counter. "But, if something happens to this food, which I worked hard to get for you, I will be mad."
"Understood," he nods. He turns back to the apples. "I won't be able to finish all these on my own, though."
"That's okay. Some of those are mine. The rest are for Greasy Sae."
"That's nice of you," he comments as he starts pouring the apples into the sink to wash.
"Yeah," she turns away from him. "Nice."
"Why does that sound like scheming?" He asks himself.
"You're being so weird this morning." She comments, snatching an apple from his hands on her way out.
—
"Mornin'" She greets as she steps through Greasy Sae's front gate. "Can't say I've ever been here before."
"You haven't and you still can't. Get off the grass and come to sit on this porch for a proper visit." The old woman says back from her spot on the steps. "What did you bring me?"
"Who says I brought anything?" Katniss hedges but Sae merely raises an eyebrow. "Duck. Squirrels."
"Not too bad," Sae makes a non-committal face, turning back to the mending work in her hands.
"I found you some apples too, but Peeta's washing 'em. I'll give you the nice ones." She takes a seat on the steps next to her with a sigh.
"What's with the bribe?" Sae cuts the thread with her teeth.
"Who says it's a bribe? Could be payment." Katniss says, but her heart isn't in it. "It's a little bit of a bribe."
"Hm. What for?" Sae drops the child's shirt she'd been working on in the basket by her feet, picking up another one from the spot next to her.
"Well, some of it is because I'm thankful you took Delly and her brother in."
"Nothing you need to be thanking me for, it was only decent." Sae brushes off.
"I also want to say thanks for feeding me all those times."
"Alright," Sae nods.
"And I want to know why none of the ladies trust Peeta." She admits.
Sae meets her eyes with a satisfied, knowing look. She turns back to her work.
"Well?" Katniss prods.
"What do you care what some old coots are saying about your man? You picked him." She flips the shirt inside out with disinterest.
"Those old coots might as well run this District, and you know it." Katniss replies.
"Mm, alright." She tests the amount of tension her stitches can take, tossing the shirt in the basket when she's satisfied. "They don't think he's all there in the head. Mind you, no one is these days. But you're one of us, so you're our problem."
"What?" Her mind goes right to the right back to District Thirteen, but most of hers and Peeta's issues happened behind closed doors back then. "Peeta's business is none of your concern."
Sae spares her a glance before refocusing on her stitching. "We've been around the block a few times, that's all."
"Peeta would rather kill himself than lay a hand on me." Katniss deadpans. Judging by Sae's lack of response, she's guessed the issue correctly.
Greasy Sae shrugs, "you wanted to know."
Katniss turns away so she can stare at the stone pavers leading to the front gate. "Well, Peeta's a good guy."
"Hm," Sae answers.
"It isn't right for people to be whispering behind his back, especially when everyone takes his free bread." She stands up. "I tell him to stop baking, he stops."
She's not actually sure about that one, but Sae doesn't need to know that.
"I'll pass it on," Sae looks up then. "Anything else to say?"
Katniss opens her hunting bag to remove her load. "No," she passes the animals along. Greasy Sae takes them mutely.
She's a step away from the gate when Sae speaks up again.
"If something changes… you come to me, you hear?"
Katniss nods and walks off.
After dinner, Katniss steeps her usual cup of tea. She stands by Peeta's kitchen window, watching the day slip away and the sunlight fade. She's about to pull the window shut, but Buttercup hops up onto the windowsill instead.
"The hell are you doing here, huh?" She asks the cat, watching it jump onto the sink's ledge followed by the kitchen floor. "You miss me or something?"
Buttercup doesn't bother with her, just walks away, disappearing down the hall.
"Damn cat," she mutters, carrying her tea into the next room. There she finds Peeta with his sketchbook on the dining table, already deep into some drawing. "Did you see that?"
"Hm?" He asks without looking away from his task.
"The cat," she replies, taking a seat next to him.
"Probably looking for us. Haven't been to the house in a while." He says absentmindedly. "Does this look right to you?"
She peeks at the sketch, smiling when she recognizes Haymitch's annoyed face. "He's fatter than that."
"Pfft," Peeta chuckles. "You just want him to look bad."
She shrugs, picking up her tea for a sip. "He does," she mumbles.
"What was that?" he asks.
"Nothing," she looks down into her mug for a moment to disguise where her attention lies, but Peeta doesn't turn away from his work to look at her. Instead, he drops a pencil in favour of another without checking what he's picked up, bluish shadows blooming under Haymitch's eyes a moment later.
"You know that Finnick painting you made me?" she asks.
"Mhmm," he replies.
"I want to make a book out of it."
"Out of Finnick?" He asks. "I don't know how he'd feel about that."
"No, not out of Finnick." She takes a sip from her tea. "Remember the plant book? We could make another book, but out of memories."
He seems to think it over. "I like that," he nods. "I could add this sketch in in you want?"
"Maybe," she concedes. "I wrote some stuff about other people. Just old stories. We could add it all in, whatever we want."
"Well, I can draw whatever." He offers.
"I don't want you to just draw stuff. Don't you want to write your own memories too?"
He looks a little uneasy, "it's not like I've got the most reliable memory."
"I don't care," she shrugs. He meets her gaze doubtfully. "I mean it. We can play real or not real if it helps, but I want your memories too."
One corner of his mouth pulls up into a lopsided grin. "Okay then." He turns back to his drawing and twirls his pencil in his hand. "Anything we want?"
"Anything," she nods.
"Can we do my dad?" he fidgets with the edge of his paper, seemingly avoiding her gaze. "I've been drawing him a lot and—"
She puts a hand to his chin so she can look him in the eye. "Anything. Do you want to use something you've already drawn?"
He purses his lips, his cheeks growing slightly pink due to her touch. "I'd have to go get my sketchbook."
"Go," she encourages. "I'll still be here when you get back."
He jumps to his feet and steps past her, coming right back around a second after so he can yank her into a hug.
"Thank you, Katniss." He squeezes her and presses his cheek to the top of her head. "This means a lot to me."
"Okay!" she laughs, struggling not to spill her tea and fall out of the dining chair at the same time. "Go already!"
He obeys, taking his warmth with him and leaving her smiling. She's left to drink what's left of her tea while trying to calm herself down so she stops blushing before he returns. How embarrassing.
The day is young enough that the sun hasn't had a chance to dry the morning dew. It's a glorious spring morning, clean and bright. Katniss is already hunting, stalking a group of deer from a safe distance and keeping low to the ground. She's excited about this one. The bucks have decided it's a good time to try and impress the females, so there's plenty of fine specimens for her to choose from. She's already got her eye on the best one, the big one in the middle.
She swallows before she pulls the arrow taut, breathing out slowly to calm her beating heart. It's always exciting when she gets to take down big game. And this one? This one could probably feed the entire village, no problem.
She lets the arrow fly, feeling the tail of it slightly bite her cheek. That shouldn't be happening anymore, but she's still not as strong as she could be. She strings another arrow immediately, letting it fly moments after the other.
She gets him in the eye and the neck. He struggles, trying to hold on to life for a moment longer, but in the end the blood is too much. It chokes him and he collapses to the forest floor, dead.
Katniss scampers over to the carcass, starting the hard task of field dressing such a large animal. A lot of the organs are useful and make great meat pies, so there's no reason to waste much. The antlers are huge. They would make great replacements for her old knife handles. The coat is beautiful too, and largely intact. She'll have to leave the brain in so she can tan the leather later. This is going to be the highlight of her spring.
It takes her longer than it should to realize that she will have to find a way to get the animal back home. On her own. Because there's no Gale with her.
She tries dragging him, but she doesn't get very far. He probably weights about twenty pounds more than she does, for crying out loud. She groans loudly. Why didn't she think about this before? Is she going to have to give up and leave it for the wolves?
She decides to try and bury the thing so she can go and look for some help. She considers cutting the head and legs off, but her knife isn't sharp enough for that. Instead, she digs a shallow hole with her knife and fingers, covering everything with stones for extra protection. When she's done, she begs whoever might care to please not allow other predators around her bounty.
"You killed a deer?" Peeta gives her an impressed look. "That's… damn, you're cool."
"It's huge! But we need to go back and get it," she watches him pull the morning loaves out of the oven, flour dusting him all the way up to his biceps. "I didn't bury it all that deep."
"Give me a sec," He drops the bread on the counter and leans halfway out the kitchen window. "Hey, Thom! You want a free dinner?"
"Holy shit!" Thom pokes the stag with his boot. "That's like 300 pounds of meat right there."
"It's not that big," Katniss dismisses.
"That thing is huge," Peeta says incredulously. "What were you thinking?"
"I was thinking that we don't have any food." She scoffs but Peeta laughs at her. "Shut up or you're not getting any."
"I'll take my chances," He adds as his laughter peters out. He glances at her while he's helping Thom tie a long branch to the legs. "We can't eat this by ourselves, Katniss."
"Don't worry about it, I figured we'd give it away." She takes a step back so they can lift the animal out of the pit. "I honestly just want the antlers."
"If you're gonna do that," Thom huffs under the load on this shoulder. "I've got a better idea."
"What in the world?" Greasy Sae stands up from her porch bench at the sight of them.
"Top of the mornin' to ya." Thom grins. "We got dinner. Just need a fire to cook it with."
Sae looks at each of them in turn, her eyes landing on Katniss last. "What'd you want for it?"
"Nothin'," Katniss holds the garden gate open for the men. "Just being neighbourly."
"Morning, ma'am." Peeta smiles as he walks by.
Katniss meets Greasy Sae's gaze briefly while the men disappear around the house. She squares her shoulders and asks, "Do you mind having everyone in town over for dinner?"
"Doesn't look like I've got a choice, girl." She heads towards her front door, muttering from what Katniss can tell, something along the lines of: "These Everdeens."
"Where'd you want this?" Thom asks once they make it to the yard.
"Just drop it on the floor," Katniss replies, lagging a few steps behind.
"Ready?" Thom asks Peeta. He nods back. "'Kay, down."
"Thom," Sae calls from the back door. "Help me get this table. Katniss, will you watch this child?"
A sleepy little boy steps out from behind Greasy Sae's leg, looking confused by all the commotion around him.
"Uh, hello." She smiles down at the boy. "I'm Katniss, what's—"
"Hold the door!" Thom shouts from inside the house. She makes an apologetic face at the little boy, sweeping him out of the way before she rushes to over to the back doorway.
"This thing's heavy," Thom grunts, walking past them with a medium wooden table in his grip. "Just anywhere, Sae?"
"Out there," she waves towards the yard vaguely, a step behind him.
"Come," Katniss guides the little boy to the yard with a hand on his back. The kid squints under the sun.
Peeta watches Thom with an attentive expression, his hands waiting in case he'll need to offer his help. Thom, although confused by Sae's lack of direction, manages the table just fine, dropping it with a huff in the middle of the yard.
"Anything else I can do for you, Sae?" Thom asks.
"No that's fine," Sae waves him off, already walking back towards the house. "Let me get something to prep that meat with. Watch the boy, Katniss."
"Sure," Katniss turns to the boy, watching him inspect the der carcass cautiously. "Watch out, you'll get blood on you."
"In that case, I'll spread the word," Thom grins, rubbing his hands together. "See ya'll later?"
Katniss just nods. Thom, without taking the time to check, or probably even think better of it, pulls her into a quick side hug. "Thanks, Everdeen." He emphasizes with a squeeze. Once he's released her, he heads out through the back fence, slapping Peeta's shoulder amicably in passing. Katniss merely looks at him in confused amusement.
"I'll go too," Peeta smiles at her but doesn't go in for the hug, so she does. If she's hugging Thom for no reason now, she's hugging Peeta. He rubs a hand around her lower back. "I'll see ya later?"
"Mmhm," she replies, her eyes closing as she takes full advantage of the opportunity to sniff the fresh bread smell on him. "Later."
He starts pulling away, but some instinct, perhaps all their past goodbyes, have them both leaning towards the other before they remember they aren't supposed to be kissing anymore.
"Well," Peeta says awkwardly as he takes a step back from her. "Bye."
"Yep," she nods, turning away hastily.
The boy! Katniss catches him crouched over the deer carcass and poking at one of the arrow punctures. She jogs over to him and pulls his finger out, quickly wiping him with the tail of her shirt.
"Where'd this boy come from?" Katniss asks Sae as she returns from inside the house with a handful of spices.
"Parents dropped him off. Got work to do and I wasn't doing anything. Until you showed, of course." She makes a disapproving noise, but Katniss knows it's not that deep. "Do you need an invitation? Come help an old woman."
Katniss drops her hunting bag on the grass, helping Sae place the spices around the table. She tries to drag the deer closer to the table by herself, but Sae smacks the back of her head and gives her a hand.
"We're gonna need a big fire for this." Sae tells her pointedly.
"I'll do it," Katniss beds down to pull of her knives from her bag. "I'll just need some wood."
"We're not slumming it anymore, you can use some of them bricks over there." Sae sucks on her teeth disapprovingly. "Boy, bring those here." She points with her chin towards the back door. "Let me give you a hand, girl."
"I got the entrails out already; it's just the hide." Katniss huffs as she and Sae pull the animal up on the outdoor table. "I want to keep it nice, though. Make a hat or something."
"You can sew?" The old woman seems impressed.
"Well, I can't, but Delly Cartwright sure does." She admits. "Made me these shoes way back when."
"Oh, that's right." Sae nods at her shoes. "Forgot you used to have money. Knife?"
She hands hers over. "It's probably all gone now. That's what you get when you kill the wrong president."
Sae laughs at her. "My. If you say so, girl."
They work in silence. Neatly stripping the carcass in tandem. The boy returns while both women are still working, the bricks they need in his arms. Greasy Sae doesn't so much tell him what to do, rather, she makes some noises at him, motioning with her chin towards the centre of the yard.
"Kids. Never know a damn thing." She shakes her head.
"Is that what you said about me when I was that age?"
"Ah, shh." The older woman waves Katniss's words away. "You were worse."
The boy finishes stacking the bricks in a neat little circle, glancing awkwardly back at the women who should be minding him rather than working him, but that's childhood in District Twelve.
"What are you standin' round for? Help Katniss start the fire." Sae knocks her lightly out of her way with her shoulder. "Go on."
"Alright, kid." Katniss wipes the stag's blood off her palms and onto her pants, smiling sympathetically at the boy. He looks all of four or five years old. She drops down to his level to look him in the eyes. "You ever start a fire before?"
He rubs his shoulder against his runny nose shyly. "No."
"Then it's your lucky day, I'll teach you." She pats her hands against her thighs as she stands back up. "Help me get some firewood."
"What's firewood?" The little boy asks, keeping up with her stride with an enthusiastic little hop.
"Well, nothing special really." She cocks her head to the side. "We gotta go to the woods to find it, though."
"Really?" He grins eagerly.
"Heck yeah," she chuckles at the look on his face. "But there's rules."
His eyes widen with that special type of seriousness only young kids are capable of.
"Number one," Katniss puts her hands on her hips. "You gotta tell me your name."
The boy giggles, "It's Oaken!"
"Really? Like one of these?" She motions towards the trees behind them. "Oaks are great trees. Strong wood, fun to climb." She glances over at Sae, who doesn't seem to care what they're doing. "Tell you what, if you stick to the rules, we'll climb one."
"Okay!" The boy grins excitedly.
"Rule number two," she raises an eyebrow. "No wandering too far. Stay by me or I'll have to hold your hand. You're not a baby, are you?"
"No!" He exclaims.
"Good." Katniss nods. "And rule number three: pick up all the dried up twigs and sticks you can find. That's firewood. Sounds good?"
Oaken nods, already looking towards the woods. Katniss snickers and ruffles his hair, making sure to pick up her bag on their way out. "Well, come on then."
"My dads been to the woods before." Oaken tells her happily. Katniss glances down at him with interest. "He's really brave."
"Sounds like it," she agrees. "Does he hunt?"
"Uh huh." The boy sniffles, rubbing at his nose with his sleeve. "Mama says he used to catch squirrels and stuff before I was a baby. He's been doing it for ages."
Katniss chuckles, nodding. "My dad used to hunt too."
"You have a dad?" Oaken gasps, staring up at her as if parentage is a revelation. "But you're… old."
"Everyone's got to have a dad, bud. Even old people." She bends over to pick up some twigs. "See these? That's what we're looking for."
"Okay," he drops his eyes to the forest floor, wandering away, but within her reach, like a loyal hunting pup.
"Toss what you find in my bag, you hear?"
"Uh huh."
She pulls off her hunting bag, tossing it to the forest floor while she keeps an eye on the boy, idly picking up some wood here and there. She wants him to feel accomplished at the end, so she tries not to overdo it.
"Oaken," Katniss bends over to look at the leaves of a plant closely. "You have a cold, right? Is your mama giving you any medicine?"
"I don't know," he hedges.
"Mhmm," Katniss shakes her head and starts picking. Might as well carry on with the family healing torch.
"We can climb this one," Katniss pulls Oaken along by the hand. She knows this tree very well; she even climbed it herself when she was a kid. She crouches down to talk to him seriously. "You gotta listen to me when we're climbing. If I say stop, you'll what?"
"Stop, Miss Katniss." He recites obediently.
"You don't have to call me—okay." But Oaken doesn't have the patience to listen, he's been promised real tree climbing after all. He races away, eagerly climbing up the tree like a monkey.
"Be careful, okay?" Katniss says in an encouraging tone, her hands hovering, just in case he falls. "Falling really hurts."
"Okay, Miss Katniss!" Oaken grins over his shoulder, scampering up the branches like he was born to do it. Katniss follows behind, albeit at a slower pace. He might have been onto something when he called her old.
"Don't go too far!" She reaches up to put a warning hand on his shoe. "This is good enough for your first try." She adds seriously.
Climbing with this child is different from her memories of Rue. He's too young, and they look nothing alike, but the achy feeling is still there. She watches as Oaken swings his little legs beside her. He's small, but full of energy. Like a hummingbird. Rue was like a bird too. She looks out towards the horizon and waits to see what the grief will do, how it will cling to her. The memory itself is painful, and its certainly there, but it does not take over her current moment. Nothing drowns her.
It feels too good to be true.
"Miss Katniss! Miss Katniss!" Oaken yanks insistently on her sleeve. "Look! Birds!"
Katniss ducks her head a little so she can follow his line of sight, gasping when she spies the Mockingjay nest up ahead. They watch quietly as the mother feeds her young, unaware of their intrusion.
"That's called a Mockingjay." Katniss whispers. "See those feathers? No other bird has feathers like that. They're special."
"A Mockingjay," Oaken repeats in wonder. "It's pretty."
"Mhmm." Katniss murmurs. "Do you know any other Mockingjays?"
"No," Oaken says with genuine confusion. "Im a kid, Miss Katniss. I don't know any birds!"
"I know, just testing you." Katniss shakes her head happily. "Alright, we should head back. Last one on the ground's a rotten egg!"
"There you are," Greasy Sae greets them as Katniss boosts Oaken over the back fence. The older woman stares them down with her characteristically unimpressed expression. "Figured you got swallowed up by wild dogs with how long you were taking."
"And you weren't gonna send anyone after us?" Katniss fires back sarcastically. To Oaken she adds, "I'm telling your mother."
"Bah," Sae turns away from them. "Hurry up already, we need to roast the thing before it rots."
"Oaken," she motions for the little boy to join her by the bricks. "Watch me. This is how you light a fire."
"Okay," the boy mumbles around the four fingers he's shoved into his mouth, sucking the blackberry juice off his fingers. She might have allowed a slight detour to feed him.
"You only light fires with an adult around to watch you, okay?" She glances over at him and the boy nods quickly. "Never light a fire on your own. You can do that when you're older."
"Okay," he agrees.
"Here, light the match." She catches the box of matches Sae tosses her when she mentions it, handing the boy one match between her finger and thumb. He cautiously takes it.
The boy strikes the match head against the striker twice to no avail and Katniss can see the beginnings of embarrassment forming on his face. With a steady hand, she grasps the boys wrist, helping him strike the match correctly, and grinning in encouragement as his eyes light up.
"Go ahead," she nods. "Light the fire."
The boy hops as he tosses the match into their makeshift firepit, screeching when the fire spreads quickly. Katniss laughs along, pulling the kid into a brief hug.
"Good job," she encourages, ruffling his hair.
Later, most of Twelve seems to have infiltrated Greasy Sae's yard, eager to catch a taste of some free game meat. Katniss leans against the back of the house, watching the fire dance within the bricks, attracting the apparent fascination of the small group of teenagers who've surrounded it.
"Funny finding you here," a voice murmurs next to her ear, making her every hair stand up. But she's too good to be surprised. She merely turns her head in his direction.
"Where else would I be?" she asks in return, taking quiet pleasure in thwarting Peeta's plans of catching her off guard.
He pulls his lips to the side thoughtfully, "I don't know. On the couch?"
"Shut up," she elbows him, turning back to the bonfire. "Where've you been anyway?"
"Baking bread," he admits. "Same old thing."
"I hope you brought me some," she says.
"Of course. It's in your house." He leans against the wall beside her, showing off the ceramic mug in his hand. "You want a drink? Haymitch brought his 'special' moonshine."
She wrinkles her nose, "I think I'll pass."
"Smart choice." He chuckles. "It's bitter."
"I thought you didn't drink?" she asks, recalling an old memory of him making a face after accidentally picking up a glass of spirits at the presidential mansion.
"I don't," he dumps out the contents of his cup on the grass. "Just thought I'd give it a shot."
"Hm," she turns back to the bonfire, and they lapse into companiable silence. Several groups of people have gathered across the yard in disorganized little semicircles. It's the two of them who're the sole anti-social ones, straying from the larger group to hide among the shadows cast by the house. The ongoing sounds of conversations wash over them, bringing with it a sense of comfort she's never experienced at any other public gathering before.
"I think this is my first real party," she murmurs.
"We've been to more parties than I can remember." Peeta says, leaving his mug on a nearby decorative rock.
"Yeah, but those didn't count. They weren't even fun." She glances at him. "I never even got to go to the harvest fest bonfire."
"Yeah, I remember that." His reply brings a surprised look to her face. "I always hoped you'd show."
"Of course you would be there." She turns back to face the fire.
"What does that mean?" He asks.
She looks at him to see if he's joking, but he seems genuinely confused. She rolls her eyes, "you were the most popular boy in our grade."
"Was I?" He asks around a self-satisfied smirk. "Nice."
"I bet all the girls wanted to dance with you," she tries to tease but her voice comes out unexpectedly bitter. She hopes he can ignore that.
He makes an 'I-don't-know' face as his eyes take on a far away look. "I remember dancing with Delly. She can be mean. I'd still have the scars from her pinching if we'd never gotten reaped."
"What?" Katniss laughs unexpectedly.
"True story," he insists. "She used to come up to me like this and pinch me right here!" he pokes her in the ribs, to her amusement. "I had to dance with her or else."
"Oh," her laughter gently fades. "I like Delly."
"She's alright." Peeta says dismissively but she knows his feelings for his friend are sincere. "Annoying, but…" he trails off.
"Hm," her eyes return to the fire and the good quiet between them returns.
Katniss's smile doesn't take long to return. Moments later, a pack of children runs through the group of adults just ahead of her and Peeta, breaking them up briefly as the adults look on with amused confusion. The kids laugh as they run, going past their solitary duo with delighted screeches and hoots.
"They're cute," Peeta comments, smiling too as he watches a kid knock into Haymitch and spill the old man's drink without stopping to look. Their old mentor doesn't fail to produce loud and creative protestations in response.
"Yeah," Katniss agrees. "The old goat doesn't seem to think so."
"No, I guess not." Peeta chuckles along with her. They keep watching Haymitch curse after the children but no one else is paying any attention to him, not even his own drinking buddies.
"Do you—" Peeta goes to say but halts when someone in the crowd pulls out a fiddle, striking up a familiar tune and generating enthusiastic cheering from the group. "Oh hell, you gotta dance with me, Katniss."
"What?" she frowns but Peeta's already yanking her along. "But—"
"Shh," Peeta dismisses her. "We're dancing. Not talking."
He pulls her into the heart of the crowd, linking both his hands with hers and twirling her into a messy two step. She laughs at the goofy look on his face, turning to smile her apologies when they accidentally bump into another couple along the way.
"You're terrible at this!" She keeps laughing while Peeta eagerly swings her around, accidentally stepping on her foot a few times. "What happened to all those dance lessons?"
"Forgot," he shrugs shamelessly. "Not that a waltz would be appropriate right now."
"Yeah, it wouldn't.' She agrees, smiling up at him fondly. "Good thing I'm a great dancer."
"Oh, you are, aren't you?" he says. "I'm listening."
"Come here," she pulls him closer. "I don't bite, you know."
"I think you do," Peeta volleys back, but she ignores it, opting to pull him into a proper dancing hold instead.
"Ready?" she meets his eyes with hers, a melting warmth forming in her chest. Peeta nods. "Okay, here it goes."
"Shouldn't I be leading?" He asks.
"Do you know where to go?" she fires back.
"No ma'am." His expression turns cheeky, "but I think the ladies like it like that."
"What ladies?" she rolls her eyes. "I'm all you got."
"Exactly." He takes the lead, moving them around in jerky movements that make her smile. "See?"
"You're not funny," but the accusation loses its edge due to her excessive laughter. It almost seems like Peeta's smile has taken permanent residence upon his face.
He stomps around with her for a while, long enough for them to switch songs and for someone else to remember they have a harmonica to add to the mix. They don't need to talk. It feels good to just be, without caring whatever the hell other people are thinking about them.
"Hey," Peeta leans down slightly to make better eye contact with her. "You happy?"
"I think so, yeah." Her cheeks are flushed. "You?"
"Psst, I'm always happy." He winks, suddenly twirling her under his arm again. "I've got moves."
"You've got something," she replies, giggling when he decides that warrants yanking her back into his janky dancing with a heavy arm to the waist.
"Katniss?"
She looks up at the sound of her name. Peeta and her are huddled by the dying fire sharing a hunk of meat and potato salad from a fancy dinner plate Greasy Sae handed them. An unfamiliar man smiles at her, a young child asleep in his arms.
"You don't know me. I'm Bear." He adjusts his grip on the kid so he can offer his hand to shake. "I'm Oaken's dad."
Her eyes widen and she sits up straighter. They shake hands. "He's a great kid."
"Thanks," Bear grins. "I just wanted to thank you for taking care of him today. I know he's kind of a handful."
Katniss shakes her head, "No need. He was a sweetheart."
"Well, I appreciate it regardless. Oaken said he had a great time. Came back talking about you non-stop." He chuckles, glancing at his child fondly for a moment. "He doesn't take a liking to people all that easily, so it means a lot."
Katniss lips turn up into a small smile. "Well, I didn't mind at all. I could watch him again sometime if you need."
"Oh no, I didn't mean—but thank you." Bear replies. "Wouldn't want to inconvenience you like that."
"It wouldn't be an inconvenience." Katniss looks at him thoughtfully. "We could do a trade. Oaken said you're a hunter, right?"
Bear looks embarrassed, "not really." He denies. "I'm just messing around, seeing what I catch."
"Well," Katniss says. "I'm short a hunting partner. Peeta here doesn't wanna help me with that." Peeta snorts beside her, "interested? I babysit for you; you help me with game?"
"You're kidding?"
"No, I'm serious. That deer we're eating? I could barely get it back into town. I almost left it out there." She shrugs. "And, Oaken says you're pretty great."
He chuckles, "he's a kid."
"Kids don't lie," Katniss replies. "You can think about it if you want."
Bear stares at her, then at Peeta, then her again. He laughs incredulously. "My wife will never believe this. But yeah, I'm in."
"Great," Katniss leans back, taking the plate back from Peeta. "Meet me on the road at first light tomorrow morning."
"That was nice of you," Peeta comments as they watch Bear and Oaken disappear back into the crowd. "I didn't know I rejected being your hunting partner."
"You didn't reject, you were disqualified." She chews on her food. "You'll never stalk quietly."
Peeta purses his lips in a conceding manner, "can't argue with that…"
"Did you want to go to the woods with me?" She pushes his fork away from the potato salad with hers.
"That's mine!" he chuckles, stealing her perfect bite. "Maybe. Isn't it a little strange that we've been through so much, I'd do anything for you and you for me, but I've never really been to the woods with you? We basically live in a forest."
"All you have to do is ask," she shrugs. "Whatever you want."
"Yeah?" he smiles.
"Obviously," she responds exasperatedly. "I'm letting you eat my potato salad, aren't I?"
"Peeta," she whispers. "Are you asleep?"
He's quiet for a beat but his tired voice answers her, nonetheless. "Maybe."
She rolls onto the side of the bed closest to the door, staring into the dark hallway. "I can't sleep."
"Mm," she can hear him shifting in bed. "Do you want some milk? I can make it with honey."
"I don't want you to get up," she says. "You sound tired."
"I am," he yawns. "Long day."
"Thank you for helping me today." She cuddles up to the cool pillow on his side of the bed. "You didn't have to."
"I like helping you." He replies, his voice rough with sleep. "It's what we do."
"Take care of each other." She finishes.
"Yeah," he says.
She stays quiet for a moment, playing with the end of her braid. "I like it when you take care of me." A confession.
"Hm," he sounds happy. "That's good."
"Is Buttercup over there?"
"Um," He starts shifting around again. "Oh yeah. I think he likes my leg gap."
"He likes you," she smiles.
"He's a nice cat." The quiet settles over them again.
She glances at the doorway and chews on her lip for a moment. "Peeta?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I come over there?" she stares hopefully in his direction. "I mean, if Buttercups there, what's one more?"
He's quiet but then she hears him chuckle. "I guess, since the cats here." But he loses his mirth quickly. "Its not what friends do."
"But we're not friends." Her tone shifts towards exasperation. "We've never been friends."
"Well, that hurt my feelings."
"I didn't mean it like that," she sighs.
"I know what you meant." He pauses. "But you also don't mean anything else."
"No," she agrees. "I guess I don't."
"Why do you keep pushing this?" but he isn't being cruel, simply curious. "We keep talking about it—"
"It matters to me." She crosses her arms. "Don't you miss me?"
"Katniss," he starts to argue, but he drops it. "I'm right here."
"I don't think that is enough. For me," the words slip out of her mouth, surprising even herself.
"It isn't for me either, if I'm being honest." He agrees.
"Then I'll come over there," she sits up quickly, swinging her legs off the bed a moment after.
"Don't you want to have a normal life?" his eyes lock onto hers when she walks through his doorway, defeated. "You could move away. Live in the woods. Fall in love."
"And where would you be?" She climbs up onto his bed.
"I'd stay here." He turns to his side so he can face her as she slips under his sheets.
"I don't want to live alone." She adjusts her pillows, watching his face for changes.
"You'll never have a chance at your own life if we start this up again." He frowns. "You'll just get stuck with me. That's not a life."
"But I want to be here," she insists. "I like being with you."
"You deserve more," He leans up on his elbow to look at her better. "I want you to get to do everything you deserve to do. I don't want you to get stuck with a victor's… a victor's penance. Does that make sense?"
She frowns at him, taking in his conflicted expression. "Peeta," she sighs.
"We're taking a step backwards." His tone is firm.
She sits up, "but aren't you— we—?"
"What—?" but she cuts him off.
"In the arena, remember?" she pushes her flyway's back hastily. She's going to say this. "You told me. What was the point, right? If the other died? Now you just want me to be on my own?"
He shuts his eyes and sits up next to her. "That was a different situation."
"It's not different to me," she crosses her arms protectively. "Maybe things are different for you."
He goes quiet and just shakes his head, running his fingers through his hair.
"Katniss," but he doesn't look at her, he stares at the wall across from them. "What do you want from me?"
"I," her voice trails off and Peeta doesn't look at her. He just drops is gaze down to his hands. "I want to sleep together."
He snickers. "I know."
"And, I don't know, have breakfast together. Dinner too." She's starting to feel uncomfortable and unsure. "We can work on our book and watch TV. You could sketch me. I like your drawings."
Peeta smiles and glances at her despite the hair that's falling into his eyes. "I like doing that stuff with you."
"Yeah?" she moves closer to him so she can push his hair back. "Can't we just do that? I think it's okay."
"But what happens when you leave?"
"I don't want to leave." She emphasizes. "Is that okay?"
He shrugs.
"What about you, huh?" she pulls him back down so they can lie together. "Don't you want your own life?"
He scoffs, "this is my life."
"You're not going to leave?"
He meets her eyes now, "where would I go?"
She swallows. "I don't know, anywhere. You could go anywhere. Be anything."
He takes her hand in his. "I wouldn't."
"Okay," she whispers.
"Okay," he replies.