Geten found himself unsure what to do with himself.
Something that had happened more and more since unofficially leaving the movement.
Part of which had been because he found himself floundering a bit with how different things were now without being able to use the guidelines that the movement had given him to live by.
He still had his rules for how to act at work and could still shmooze clients really well, minus his old intentions to use those connections for the movement.
Outside of work though... Geten had to admit that he never really had a life outside of either work or the movement.
So, when one of their foreign customers began asking him if a book was actually correct and if the stories about Endeavor were real, Geten had to ask what book they were talking about.
Which was how Geten eventually came to learn about a recently released controversial book called Heroic Sacrifice and had a copy sent to him.
There wasn't a Japanese version of the book, but he did find a copy in a language he could read and reading it...
Geten had to put the book down very often to gather his wits, perhaps setting it aside for the rest of the day unable to continue reading.
It wasn't graphic, but the book didn't have to be because when he slept his brain was more than happy to fill in blanks purposely left by the book when he went to sleep.
Perhaps it was because of his ice quirk, but the idea of burning alive or suffocating on the smoke of a fire while trapped in a room of a burning building left him feeling very shaken.
This fact was not helped by the fact most of the stories in the book were from the perspective of what were likely Endeavor's victims.
The fiftieth story especially stuck him in the heart as it was told from a child's eyes begging for her mother to 'wake up' as their apartment was burning down.
If he had dreams of his former colleagues from the movement with fire quirks razing cities with the screams of hundreds because of it, then that was between him and his trembling reflection in the mirror.
He did think he'd perhaps slip some of the old plans he knew from the movement to Deku-Sensei, as he saw quite a few of them in a very different light.
But it was the very last story in the book that caused him to pace his apartment late at night instead of sleeping.
Geten, improved relationship with his eldest nephew aside, had to admit to himself that he still hadn't thought much of how Dabi, Dabi's siblings, or how his half-sister's home life with the number two was.
He knew from Dabi's drunk rants, sharply thrown comments and waspish jabs that it was not a happy one, something close to his own childhood for the Todoroki children and as for Geten's sister, well he didn't think that Dabi would ever know the full story there.
Though he severely doubted there was any love between Rei and Endeavor, and even thinking about the things that she had to do… she had four children with the man after all.
Geten shivered at that thought in particular.
But the vagueness of the situation had been stripped from him after reading the very last story in the damn book.
It had clearly outlined the terror his three nephews and niece lived in shortly before Dabi's 'accident', an entirely different event being detailed in the pages.
An event that managed to plague his thoughts.
His hand coming up to wrap around his neck, thinking of the dark scar that marred Dabi's neck.
Had it really happened? Had Endeavor really held Dabi by the neck and activated his quirk to make that burn despite knowing it could have killed his son?
Was there a handprint on Dabi's neck scar or was his mind getting the better of him?
Was that firefight the reason why Dabi's arm was so badly burned? Had his bastard-in-law's fire melted the flesh off his nephew's arm during his escape or in the fight beforehand?
His choice not to ask coming back to bite him in the ass even if it was the respectful thing to do.
He'd been lucky that Dabi had not visited unannounced as he had taken to doing when Geten was reading the book, he would not have been able to keep his emotions in control when he got to the end of the book.
Even now the phantom wisps of heat made his skin crawl at the scenario the book made.
Geten shook his head and walked over to his small liquor cabinet, pulling out something that had some kick to it and pouring himself a shot.
He'd needed a touch of something to settle his nerves by giving his mind something else to focus on instead of what his mind was creating.
Just as he places the balls of salt in his cup, the lock on his apartment's door clicked as it unlocked.
Previously he would have immediately prepared his quirk to strike at whoever dared to break into his home, but with Dabi's habit of breaking in Geten unlearned it, he could still defend himself just fine regardless without the prep.
And like he suspected, Dabi meandered into Geten's apartment like he owned it instead, wearing just a neon tank top and a pair of jeans despite the time of year.
Dabi paused when he saw Geten up and drink in hand at around midnight.
"Heya uncle, what are you doing up this late?" Dabi asked causally before heading to Geten's fridge, like he hadn't just broken in.
Geten shook his head and ran a hand through his hair.
"I should be asking you that, but as you likely saw, I'm having a drink." Geten answered holding up his cup and hiding his nerves through sarcasm.
Dabi scoffed turning back to him, now with a grape popsicle in hand.
"On a school night? When you have kids in the house?" Dabi said mockingly.
"Dabi, neither of us are in school. And you are only one year younger than me." Geten replied, just a touch flat.
His nephew is not dumb though and has decided he's done beating around the bush.
"So, what's fucking with you now?" Dabi questioned as he leaned back on one of his counters.
Geten's eyes fell to his drink, and he considered deflecting for a moment but shook his head, drinking part of his shot.
"One of my clients had some questions for me after reading a certain book, and I've just finished reading it." Geten told him, putting down his drink and grabbing the book instead to show Dabi.
Dabi's eyes glazed over the cover, Geten knew that Dabi would not be able to read Korean but somehow Geten knew that Dabi understood what he was holding.
Scoffing even.
"Ah, so you've read the Twinkie's book." Dabi commented idly and Geten stared at him in disbelief.
Deku-Sensei had been the one to write this?
He'd been confused on why Dabi had three different nicknames for Deku-Sensei, but that was definitely the one he used the most.
"Don't look so surprised, you didn't think that the Twinkie would really let my sperm donor continue on with his bullshit, did you?" Dabi asked with a nasty looking grin.
Well, that would explain the focus on Endeavor's victims comparatively, with a decent handful of other stories but the references made to the South Side made more sense.
And the short amount of time that he knew Deku-Sensei and Dabi but even he knew that you didn't touch Deku-Sensei's kids.
So, writing a book out of spite in an attempt to take down Endeavor actually fell in line with what he knew of how Deku-Sensei operated.
"Deku-Sensei wrote this to bring down Endeavor? But then why wouldn't he publish it in Japan then?" Geten questioned, looking down to the book.
Wouldn't it be counterproductive to not release the book to the people that would be the most affected or most familiar with Endeavor as a hero where the public could demand him punished?
Dabi rolled his eyes.
"And what? Have him be fired? Do you think the commission would really allow themselves to lose such a valuable resource? Who the hell do you think covered all of that up?" Dabi asked him back, crossing his arms.
Geten let his head hang.
He couldn't really argue that point, the movement had deeply prized Endeavor as an example of what their movement wanted in their ideal future of the world, and how Curious had complained of her coworkers being too harsh on him.
It wouldn't be hard to think that the commission would also want to keep Endeavor, maybe not for the same reasons as the movement had, but there was probably a reason that they had for keeping Endeavor around.
Endeavor would hardly be the first hero brought to court and even less likely to be one of the few that would actually face jail time given his lawyers and that he was formerly known as the only hero that could almost stand toe-to-toe with All Might.
"The UN though... they would be able to force their hand about bring him down for war crimes, at least four counts of bio terrorism actually." Dabi informed him, just a touch snide.
"Bio terrorism?" Geten repeated shocked.
Dabi nodded with a hum, taking a bite out of his popsicle before answering.
"Yeah, turns out buying and forcing someone to marry you so you can create children specifically that are used like super soldiers to overthrow someone in a position of political power, is highly illegal. Who knew?" Dabi hauntingly replied with a shrug to further his mocking.
At the jab to his family, it made Geten think back to the story that had been stuck in Geten's mind.
"Then, the last story in the book... " Geten brought up but his voice trailed off as he couldn't bring himself to ask outright about it.
"Where Endeavor almost killed me because I threatened to take his masterpiece from him?" Dabi guessed with a raised brow.
Geten clenched his hands, frost building on his glass as his heart dropped.
Dabi hadn't directly confirmed it but the fact that Dabi knew the outline at all without him saying anything was not a good sign.
His eyes locking on his nephew's neck, looking to see if he could the imprint of a hand in the scar tissue.
Dabi scoffing and walking over to him, with his head angled upwards to further expose his neck to Geten.
The pattern of a large hand was able to be seen despite the only lighting in the room coming from the city lights outside the bay windows.
Geten's hand reached up to touch the area, stopping halfway before actually touching the scar.
"This a good enough answer for you uncle?" Dabi questioned his voice deep and low.
Geten's hand was pulled back immediately and then looked away from Dabi abashed with shame and guilt.
Dabi scoffed and then took the bottle that Geten had got out and poured himself a glass too.
"Is that's what has been tearing you up lately? Knowing that my sperm donor was willing to kill his own kids if they don't play along with his bullshit plans?" Dabi asked before he sipped on his drink.
Geten's jaw clenched as he stared at his frost covered hand and drink.
"That's half the reason." Geten admitted as the alcohol in his cup started to freeze over.
"Oh, what else is keeping you from your bed then uncle?" Dabi snidely asked before taking another bite from his popsicle.
"The fact that all three of your younger siblings are stuck under his thumb." Geten answered, a touch of dread building at the thought being voiced finally.
Because maybe Fuyumi could be as strong as her older brother Dabi, and Shouto supposedly had a stronger quirk that was a mix of the two, but could they actually defend themselves from someone like Endeavor if he turned on them?
Dabi scoffed again, downing his shot and pouring himself another one.
"You don't need to get your panties in a twist then." Dabi told him with a huff.
"The bastard never thought about Fuyumi a day in his life, and she's grown fucking woman with a decent job and could move out whenever she damn well wants, but she obsessed with being a 'family'." Dabi spat venomously.
"Natsuo may be the disappointment, but he's pretty set for a college student and probably living in the other house and away from everyone else, and he'll probably be fine even if he gets cut off. He was the only one of us that had a good head on his shoulders you know." Dabi explained
"And Shouto?" Geten asked looking up at Dabi, his nephew paused.
"I'll give you that, Shouto is in a pretty fucked place without someone to keep the bastard off his back, but that'll be fixed soon enough thanks to the Twinkie." Dabi conceded with a shrug.
"When the UN brings down my sperm donor, he'll lose any custody he has on Shouto, so he'll be free of the fucker like the rest of us." Dabi told him casually.
"But who'll look after him then?" Geten questioned, feeling something uneasy raising over the thought of Shouto, the youngest that would be without Endeavor there anymore.
Perhaps Shouto could still lean on his older siblings for support in a way he couldn't, but Geten remembered the brief time where he left his mother behind and before the movement recruited him.
A time where he felt so alone and even desperate.
"If all goes well with the Twinkie's timeline with the book, by then Shouto can become a ward of U.A. and will have plenty of money given to him as one of the sperm donor's victims so you don't have to worry about him that much." Dabi informed him.
That... probably should have helped him.
Knowing that Shouto would have the help of his friends and classmates to help him through that time along with Deku-Sensei there to watch after him as well would guarantee that no one would be able to use Shouto for their own nefarious ends.
'But what about us?' Geten couldn't bring himself to ask out loud.
Where were they in that picture?
How would Shouto handle his entire world changing and being uprooted so suddenly without any of his family to lean back on?
But he didn't say that, instead he sighed as his shoulders slumped disheartened.
He might be Shouto's uncle by blood, but that wasn't publicly known, and he had never met the boy, much less had any say in Shouto's life.
Shouto definitely had no idea he even existed and Geten would be nothing more than a stranger to the boy if they did meet, someone entirely alien.
How could he think he could offer, even if only on paper, that he would take the boy in as a guardian?
Geten had never taken care of a plant, much less ever watched over another person.
No one would trust him with caring for Shouto.
A fact that sat in his chest in a way that left him feeling heavy and tangled up internally.
It shouldn't hurt to think about, but somehow it did in a way Geten just couldn't place in his mind.
Forcing his cold back Geten unfroze his drink, and emptied his drink in a single gulp, his throat burning something awful and he coughed afterwards.
He knew that by morning between his and Dabi the old whiskey and maybe a few other bottles would be gone long before the sun rose, he'd probably also hate himself for getting drunk when his head felt like it would be splitting open.
But right now, Geten didn't want to be conscious right now.
Not of the world, not of his fucked-up family, and not of how complicated his life was.