AN: YAY, another scene I already have had pre-written and wanted to get to for a while now exists in this chapter! xD It was so fun! :)
End of AN!
Young Xehanort lay in his room for long hours, deliberating.
Then he swung himself up and strode across the room, stepping out into the hall.
He went to the living room, quiet and hesitant.
The dark-haired woman of silver eyes- Moreth- mother...sat on the couch, tapping through the channels of the television broadcast.
"...Outbreak of unexplainable insomnia, which continues to grow. More and more people find themselves falling to a deep, irreversible slumber. In relation, the rise of these strange creatures, similar to the dark beasts that plagued the world months ago now-"
Click.
Mother turned the channel away from the news, and to some...children's show.
Xehanort watched her, hidden, curious.
Watched her watching the show, now, with interest of her own...
With sadness and longing.
He sighed softly, then stepped out through the entryway.
Mother turned swiftly, looking on him with surprise, with a wash of joy and a glistening to her eyes - and then it all faded. She pushed her hair from her face. "Xehanort..."
Xehanort took in a breath. He walked over and sat down next to her, stiff-backed. He set his hands in his lap. "Mo- Moreth..."
They sat in a highly uncomfortable silence.
For a long, several minutes.
"I-" Xehanort stopped. He started again. "So - this...show...it interests you?"
"It's cute - and funny," said mother, in a quiet voice. A small smile on her lips.
Well, Xehanort didn't do "cute and funny"...he wanted to roll his eyes at the mere words. But, coming from her lips, in that voice he'd thought he would never hear...a woman he thought he'd never get to meet...maybe it wasn't so unbearable. "Well...I'm- glad to hear that?"
Mother nodded.
Her smile faded.
The silence returned.
"What interests you...?" Mother asked softly. "What do you like to do for fun - with your friends?"
"I..." Xehanort had to actually think about it. He felt the creeping of embarrassment. "Chess. Alba and Ater. I play...played...all the time, with- with Eraqus. My...best friend."
Mother turned to him. Her leg touched his, an acute awareness of...warmth and weight and a jolt that went through his body. A flash of emotions burgeoned in his Heart: relief, hope, pleasure... Hers, not his? "Let's play together, then."
Xehanort stared at her, shocked. "I...what? You...want to play a game with me?"
Her smile returned, bright and full, more than it ever was before. Her eyes glinted at him. "Yes. I'm sure you'll beat me - I've never been good at logic, or puzzles, or that kind of thing - but..."
Xehanort gazed at her, a shaking breath escaping his lips. His eyes stung at the edges, as a feeling pierced his Heart. He forced his lips to twist into a comfortable smirk. "I'll be sure to go easy on you."
Mother stood - jumped, more like. It startled him, honestly. She clapped her hands - actually clapped. "We'll need to go buy a set from a shop. Amaya left me money in case we needed it...a lot of money..." The woman disappeared into the kitchen quickly - and returned just as fast, carrying a small bag. She went to the front door, twisting the locks. She pulled it open - then stopped, turning to look at him. "Come."
"I don't know if Amaya would like my wandering this world so freely - and without supervision," Xehanort said, shrugging and showing her his palms.
Mother gave another, small smile. There was a humorous light to her eyes now. "Luckily, you'll be with your mother!"
Xehanort blanched. He looked down, aside. Then he pushed himself up, starting forward. "I...suppose so, yes..." he murmured out in agreement.
In all his childhood fantasies, dreams, and wonderings - he'd never once imagined his mother to be someone like this. Had he not inherited any of his personality from her...?
At any rate...he was glad to be out of the house again.
Even if it did involve nearly half an hour of walking, just to reach the nearest store - a massive mall building, bustling with activity.
Xehanort put his hands in his pockets as they walked inside, suppressing irritation at all the noise and chaos. So many people - so many children. Annoying, loud, unaware-
"Are you alright?"
He turned, startled. "Fine," he said flatly.
Mother stared at him still, frowning. "Alright..."
They wandered through the main floor, passing shelves and shops - until they'd found the only one that mattered.
One full of board games and other useless children's games.
There was no Alba and Ater here - but there was chess. Some surprisingly well designed sets, by the looks of them. Though, they seemed fairly expensive...
Mother followed his gaze, gave a smile, and then she pulled two of the very expensive ones from the shelves.
Xehanort stared at her as she moved for the checkout counter, trailing after her. "Do you even have that much money?" he spoke, with faint amusement. "What does Amaya's job pay her? I wasn't aware being a waitress was very lucrative here."
Mother gave a...small, soft, high laugh. The first time he had heard her laugh in his life, he realized...and it sounded- rather pleasant.
"Waitress is her day job, as I understand it..." she spoke, stepping up to the counter and placing the chess packages atop it. She dug into the bag, sifting through it until she'd retrieved...handfuls of bills with high numbers on them. She set them out on the counter, to be taken by the cashier. After she'd collected her purchases, she turned and set off again, leaving the shop.
Xehanort followed her. "Implying she has some other job?" he spoke, curious now.
Mother glanced over at him with a smile. "A night job."
Xehanort blinked at her, puzzled. "Which would be...?"
Mother stared back at him for a moment, a confusion on her face as well, for some reason. Then, her expression changed to one of- mortification. A pink tinge filled her pale cheeks. She shook her head quickly. "She's offered her services to the world's governments - fighting the monsters showing up lately, in secret."
"Yes...Nightmares, as I understand it," Xehanort nodded. "And that pays well?"
"Most of the weapons here can't do anything against them - not for long," mother sighed, looking...heartbroken. Upset. "Not forever. But a Keyblade can; she's been waking people up again, stopping more of them from forming."
"And it pays well?"
"It's not about the money, for her," mother said, glancing at him with a strange frown.
"I'd thought we were talking about the money, though," Xehanort said, confused now himself.
Mother blinked. The strange look cleared. She nodded. "Yes: it pays really well, apparently. More than she could ever need - more than we could need."
Xehanort nodded back, smiling as best he could. "Good, then."
After a long and precarious journey back to the house, Xehanort took one of the chess sets from her with care and deftness - his fingers brushed with hers, sending another strange jolt through him - and began to set things up on the kitchen table. After he'd finished placing everything meticulously, he sat back in his seat, raising a knee and resting an arm.
Mother sat down across from him after a long drag from a glass of water, leaning forward to gaze down on the game board. Her hair spilled forth, hanging over it all. Her silver eyes narrowed, taking it all in. Then she shook her head, sitting back again and meeting his gaze with a smile. She brought her arms up from her lap beneath the table, reached for the board...and then slowly, carefully began to rotate the board. She moved it until the pieces were now on the opposite sides to what they had been.
Xehanort stared, perplexed. "Huh?" He looked from the board, to her face. "What? Were the colors not to your liking...? It makes no difference to how the game is played," he said. Quite an awful thought struck him in that moment: had his mother actually...never even played before? "You...have played chess before, haven't you?" he ventured, disturbed at the very notion.
She smiled again - her eyes glinted - and she shook her head. "I don't think that I ever have, I'm sorry...Could you explain the rules to me, please?"
Xehanort gazed at her, his mouth dropping open. Then he glanced down, schooling himself again. He reached out to pluck up the Queen's piece, shining and polished, and weighted. Glistening glass. He tossed it up and caught it again easily, before placing it back down again. "Alright, then...starting from square zero..." he murmured out. "Fantastic."
"I'm sorry. If it's too much trouble-"
"How have you lived thirty years and never once played a game of chess?" Xehanort muttered, incredulity seeping into his voice.
He heard her laughter again, causing him to look up.
"I told you I wasn't very good at that kind of thing," the woman spoke lightly. She tilted her head, then raised her free hand, curving her fingers, as if around the handle of an imaginary weapon. "I haven't summoned my Keyblade since my training days, either."
"You - have a Keyblade?" Xehanort said, surprised. He shouldn't have been (he did recall, in Amaya's memory, something about his mother having 'not even drawn her weapon', a taunt by the Darkness). Yet he was, all the same.
Mother lowered her hand, giving a nod that was almost...embarrassed? "It's been a really long time since I used it."
"Why? Even in my time, having a Keyblade is a great honor - a source of pride," Xehanort spoke. "It means you're Blue Blood."
The woman nodded again. She looked down into her lap, folding her hands there. Her shoulders rose, and then fell. "I have pride in my lineage - I know my ancestry - but I always took more pride in my present...and the future I wanted to make for myself."
"A future that didn't involve a Keyblade?"
"No. My interests have always been more domestic."
Xehanort frowned at her. His first instinct was to deride that statement - and any other talk of domestic things. But he refrained, at the look of happiness on her face in that moment. If she was so easily pleased by...such simple matters, then he wasn't going to be cruel to her. He didn't think that he could...nor did he want to. "I suppose we all have our dreams," he said vaguely.
"Xehanort..."
"Hm?" He glanced up.
"I love you."
He froze, sensations rolling through his body and Heart. "...what?"
She leaned forward, looking into his eyes with her identical own. "I love you. So much. I always have, and I always will. No matter what the future holds, no matter what you've done."
"Well...this version of me hasn't done anything yet - have I?" he strangled out, looking away. "And now it looks like I never will. Even my older self seems to want me to take another road..."
"No, but I still-"
Xehanort clenched his fist in his lap, leaning forward and fixing his eyes to the board. "Can we play already, or not?" he said tightly.
He remained staring intently at the glinting pieces, at the neat, perfect squares...
"Yes...of- of course we can. What are the rules?"
Xehanort sighed, letting some of the tension go. "Well, I suppose the most important rule wold be..."
After explaining it all to her in the simplest of terms, they began the first game.
Within the first minute or two, Xehanort immediately saw and mapped out a dozen ways he could have effortlessly beaten her.
He didn't, of course.
Oh, did it make him miss Eraqus, however...an actual challenge, being pushed, strategizing, every step of the way, being kept on his toes...
This woman was a child compared with him!
Her fingers fumbled with the pieces - she flinched and apologized when she'd dropped one with a loud clatter - she let seven different obvious moves pass her by, and she failed to get a single piece of his...except the ones he actually took pity on her for and let her have, subtly and discretely.
"...You're only...how old are you?" came her pained voice, toward the end of the game.
Xehanort shook his head, glancing up at her. It wasn't that he hadn't been paying attention because he was just so focused on the neck-and-neck game - it was that it was so dull he was starting to glaze over it all. "Sorry?" he said blandly.
Mother smiled. "I was just wondering how old you were, exactly."
"Twenty," Xehanort said, shrugging. He nudged a piece across the board - not taking an obvious path to victory, once again. "Why?"
"I was just wondering..."
"What?"
"You still have time - so much time," mother went on. "Time to find yourself - to find love, family, even-"
"W-what? I don't need any of that ridiculous-" Xehanort stopped himself, gazing at the woman's earnest face, peering at him across the chess board. He looked down, picking up and toying with a piece in his hand to occupy himself. This was his second chance at life, wasn't it? He'd spent the last life, purportedly, in utter loneliness and self-absorption. Obsession. Such that he'd become an aged, single-minded husk of an old man. He'd seen it with his own eyes. And if he was not going to go down that path again - then what else was there for him? The light of friendship, yes, and a chance to be the hero of light he'd dreamed of - one who stood as equal to Eraqus, his friend and brother - but now there was also the chance for...
Perhaps even more? Avenues unexplored, things he'd never considered in his first life, certainly...? He had never had his mother in his life before, after all (nor Amaya)... So perhaps...
"Well, I am still only twenty," he finally murmured. "I suppose there's no sense in ruling anything out - seeing where things might go?"
Mother's smile was one that made his Heart twist, in that moment, along with the wave of emotions from her.
"That's the spirit," she said warmly. She looked down at the board, studying it before making a move. The most rudimentary, flawed of moves, but still, technically a move. "If you ever do go down that road in life, no matter how briefly, or how far you go along it...what kind of person would it be with?"
"I've never given it a thought," Xehanort said honestly - quickly. Staring intently down at the board now, himself.
"No lucky women in your sights, then?"
Xehanort clenched his fist in his lap, adjusting his posture a minutia. He leaned back and looked out the window of the kitchen. He forced a laugh. "I hardly think anyone would consider themselves lucky to be with the man who almost destroyed the universe - who ruined so many worlds, destroyed countless innocent little lives."
"The man who turned away from that path. Who stood up to that man, to save the life of a woman in need-"
"The man who was himself."
"Another version of himself - one who'd lost so much, become so empty and warped, to the point that he-"
"I'm aware of my future self's shortcomings, thank you," Xehanort said sharply.
"I'm sorry..." Mother's voice was high - almost...was that a trace of actual fear he felt from her Heart?
Xehanort sighed, looking at her out the corner of his eye. He pretended to lean forward and reach for a piece to move - but really, he could have beaten her so many times now already. He stopped himself, then made the move anyways in full. He took one of her last pieces and drew closer to total victory; he could beat her in two more moves, without even thinking about it. "It wouldn't involve any women, if I were to be forced to imagine such a future for my current self," he muttered out, nearly to himself alone. "I have figured out that much about myself, even at this age..." Long before, actually...
He glanced up at Moreth, as she paused in the middle of reaching for one of her last pieces (she couldn't seem to decide on one, agonizingly for Xehanort to have to watch).
She was only smiling at him. Those silver eyes shining... "A lucky man, then."
"Still no," Xehanort said, feigning boredom as he sat back, rolling his eyes.
Mother laughed. "Well, I'm still going to keep imagining it for you - until the day you make it real. It's a mother's prerogative."
"If you say so," Xehanort shrugged, still doing his best to be disinterested. And disaffected. "I wouldn't know."
Mother looked hurt. He felt the flash of emotion from her, as intense as a wound.
Xehanort winced, quickly dropping his head again.
A multitude of unsaid things remained between them. Things even Xehanort hadn't the courage to take a stab at, just yet...
"I'm sorry..." Mother whispered. "I always will be."
And yet, for this me, sorry still can't change the past, Xehanort thought. He didn't voice it; he didn't want to see that look on her face again. Feel that emotion again.
Didn't want to be the cause of it, even as his own emotions rose in response - primarily, a kind of quivering anger...
Though, from the actual look on her face right then...Xehanort somehow thought she might have known what he was thinking.
He did his best to reign himself in, to mask his face, and he took her last piece, knocking it over with a sharp flick.
"I win," he stated coolly.
Mother gazed at him, her face twisting. Her mouth parting... Then she nodded, looking down to the board. Her hair fell down to hide her features. "You're very good - I'm proud of you."
"For being good at chess?" Xehanort said, his Heart easing a few degrees.
"For being so intelligent - so skilled and strategetic. It's wonderful!" she spoke, so- passionately and brightly.
Xehanort looked at her. "Really? I have it on good authority that those are not, actually, my best traits. Not for anyone else, at any rate. If I'd been less intelligent, I wouldn't have gotten as far as I did..."
Mother gave a high laugh, raising her hand to her mouth.
Xehanort blinked at her. "I wasn't joking..." he murmured, flushing deeply.
What was it with these women and laughing at things that made no sense?