Chapter 7
A/N: Time to shake things up.
Angst warning, but this isn't over yet.
x x x
4 days later
Friday–3:00 pm
Major Case - Captain Eames' office
Alex's phone rings. She glances at her phone, sees that it's her brother Daniel, and answers.
"Hey, what's up?"
"Hi Alex. We're having a party at the pub on Sunday night. Just family and friends. I wanted to invite you and Mark."
"Sure, I'll be there. But Mark and I broke up," she tells him.
"Oh, I'm s—"
"No, it was for the best," she interrupts. "Anyway, what's the occasion?"
"My business partner Jason posted a message on Facebook, calling for local bands who want to come and perform. We're selecting a couple of bands for an event in a few weeks. We have 10 bands, and we need to narrow it down. Each band gets a 45-minute time slot to perform with 15 minutes for setup. So, I thought I'd ask friends and family to attend and cast their votes for their top picks. There'll be beer and appetizers. Thought it might be a fun night."
"Sounds like fun."
"Anyway, it's this Sunday, starting at 3:00 pm until the last band plays and we kick everybody out. Invite any friends or coworkers if you'd like."
"Thanks. I'll do that."
"See you Sunday."
"Yep. Bye."
She peers out at the bullpen and sees Detectives Lee and Goren chatting. It's quiet for a Friday afternoon. The one case that rolled over to their unit this morning was wrapped up quickly.
It dawns on her that by inviting Bobby, she should probably see if he wants to bring Leona.
Alex gets up from her desk, wanders into the bullpen, and shares the news about the upcoming party at her brother's pub.
Detective Lee promptly shakes his head. "Thanks, Captain. Sounds like fun, but I'll be driving back from a cousin's wedding in Pennsylvania on Sunday. Won't get back until late."
Alex nods and turns toward Bobby. "Are you free? Oh, and you can bring Leona."
"Sure, I can come. Leona's in Italy until Tuesday, but thanks for extending the invite. She would have liked that."
"Daniel said to come at 3:00 pm."
"I'll be there."
x x x
Sunday–9:00 pm
D 's Pub–Lower Manhattan, NY
Alex hadn't planned on keeping Bobby company for most of the night, but that seems to be the way it's going. They're talking and laughing. It's been great so far.
They're seated at the bar, with their barstools turned toward the stage to their left. There's a dance floor with a few people dancing.
Liz fills in as a bartender whenever Daniel has to step away to do something. She made Liz promise not to let her drink too much tonight.
Daniel set up a ballot-type box and some paper and pencils, so people could pick their top three band choices.
She and Bobby are talking about the performers, and comparing them. They agree on bands 1 and 5 as being the best after 6 bands have played.
A few of the nieces and nephews came. It's the first night her father has been out since his stroke, and he seems well. Jerry's wife Cecelia is keeping him company and plans to leave early to take him home and also relieve the babysitter for her and Jerry's three young children.
Alex goes to use the restroom. As she walks out of the stall, Liz is waiting by the sink.
"So, you dumped Mark, huh?" she prompts.
She and Liz haven't had the chance to speak since it happened. It's partially because of work, although she hasn't felt like talking about it to anyone.
"Sorry. I don't mean to make things awkward for Peter and Mark. I know they're friends," says Alex.
"I don't think they've talked. I just found out about it from Daniel," Liz clarifies. "So, what happened?"
While washing her hands, she quickly updates Liz on her and Bobby's evening, including seeing Mark at the hotel with a blonde woman and the follow-up conversations between Alex and Mark.
"I thought he had dumped me when I went over to his place to confront him. When he came over to my place to talk, he finally admitted that he and this woman had a past. He said it was over for them, but it doesn't matter. It wasn't working out."
"How did he take it?"
She shrugs. "I guess he understands."
"But you have fun together. Isn't that worth something? Who cares if it's not a long-term, serious relationship or whatever? Why not stay together?"
"Wait a second. You were telling me before that if he wasn't committed, I should dump him. What changed?"
Liz sighs. "I may have pushed you too hard to have something permanent. I was wrong. Plus, I know you're not over Bobby. There's nothing wrong with just having a casual thing."
"Until I settle things with Bobby, I'm not up for it." She walks over to the hand dryer. When the thing shuts off, Alex turns back toward Liz.
"And when's THAT going to happen?"
Alex frowns. "I don't know. Doesn't seem like he wants to."
"You don't know that."
"He's packed his boxes, Liz! He's leaving!" she exclaims, her voice louder and angrier than she meant. Fortunately, no one else is in the three-stall bathroom with them.
As soon as Alex tears up, Liz steps up to hug her.
"You told me he wouldn't leave New York!" Alex cries.
"You need to tell him how you feel."
"How can he not know? It's Bobby! He figured it out a year ago!"
Alex works on composing herself, fixes her eye makeup, and a few minutes later, she and Liz leave the bathroom together.
x
Bobby's gaze drifts around the pub.
He probably does more people-watching since becoming a writer than he did as a cop. The performers are interesting, but so are the 50 or 60 guests who are friends and family of the two pub owners.
The current band playing is covering 60s and 70s pop songs. A song starts that he recognizes as one of Alex's favorites.
He sees Alex and Liz leaving the bathroom. They're talking privately. Based on their body language, it's something that concerns Alex. She looks a little upset. He assumes it has something to do with Mark.
But as soon as Alex hears the song, she looks over at the band. There's an instant smile. Her face lights up.
Bobby sees this and smiles. There's a tug at his heart. There's possibly a little guilt over what it might mean that he likes spending time with her. They went to dinner and a show last weekend, and then she had lasagna at his place the following evening. And then tonight.
He gets up, approaches the two sisters, and takes Alex's hand. Alex looks startled.
"Come on… Let's dance. You like this song." There's a look exchanged between the two sisters, but she allows him to tug her arm toward the dance floor. Six couples are also dancing.
Liz grins as she watches the two of them.
It's a moderate-tempo song. Bobby pulls her toward him with the flow of the song. It takes a second or two, but they fall into step.
Peter walks up beside Liz and follows her gaze toward Alex and Bobby. He puts his arm around his wife. "What did you do?" he teases.
"Not me… Goren asked her."
x x x
It's after 1:00 am when she and Bobby exit the pub together.
Based on the crowd's votes, the pub owners decided on 2 of the bands for the gig, and at least three others may be brought back for other gigs.
The crowd thins out and Daniel and Jerry stay behind to clean up. Alex and Bobby offer to stay and help, but Daniel insists it's covered.
She holds Bobby's arm as they walk. They've had a few drinks a piece. Seems like they've both got a good beer buzz. Although she knows they'll walk it off, she doesn't mind having him to lean on.
She's not sure what the plan is for getting home. They've passed subway stations, but Bobby's just talking. Things are good. They'll figure it out.
She's going to be dead tired when she has to get up for work in a few hours.
Soon, they're walking toward the footpath that crosses the Brooklyn Bridge. The bridge walk is over a mile and Bobby's apartment is a few blocks from there.
The breeze from the East River is cold, but Bobby's side blocks some of it. The moonlight filters through a thin layer of clouds, casting light on the water.
Their conversation topics range from music and concerts to school events, to a building they both remember as kids. They debate whether it once had a mural on the side of it or not. They discussed some of these things while on the job years ago, but even talking about them again is fun.
They remember streets, angry shop owners, and mean dogs and neighbors, and both wonder if their paths ever crossed when they were younger.
She loves his laughter, his ramblings, and the feel of his side brushing up against hers every two steps. The scent of his aftershave is going to stay with her for the rest of the night.
Although she's happy at the moment, she wonders if they'll have many more moments like this one between now and whenever he leaves for Portugal.
They're a hundred feet from the end of the bridge walk when she decides she can't hold back anymore. She's tired of ignoring what happened with them a year ago. Tired of not knowing how he felt about it. Tired of keeping her thoughts inside.
She waits for him to finish his thought, then nudges his arm, prompting him to stop and look at her.
"Can I…ask you something?" The cold air doesn't help her nerves or her voice.
Bobby steps a little closer to hear her as traffic, the wind gusts on the bridge and distant sirens fill the air with too many sounds.
"Sure, of course," he responds. "I've been rambling on since Manhattan. But before you do… Umm… I had fun tonight. This was great. Really enjoyed it. Plus, I always enjoy your company."
She avoids eye contact because she's fighting tears. Emotions return. There's also a thought about chickening out.
"You're cold." He shrugs out of his jacket and puts it around her shoulders. The moment he touches her shoulders, she lowers her head and the sobs start.
"Eames…? Eames… Hey… Are you okay? What's…wrong?"
It takes her a minute before her voice is clear enough. Then she lifts her head and asks, "Why don't we ever talk about it?" The wind picks up, adding to the noise volume, while a siren blares from a police car crossing the bridge. She waits, then repeats the same seven words.
He's staring at her blankly because he's not sure what 'it' is.
Bobby…please don't ask me to explain.
"Talk about what?" he repeats.
"About us! About what happened a year ago! It's been on my mind! I've gotta know!"
As Bobby recalls it, he looks away.
Her heart is pounding. She watches him, readying herself for whatever he might say.
He lowers his head, fidgets, and shifts his weight in that spot—a clear sign that he's uncomfortable.
While she's hoping he hurries up and answers because it's too cold to keep standing there, when he finally does, she wants to disappear.
Bobby shrugs. "I—I don't know… I guess I didn't see the point." His gaze drifts everywhere; the water surface, the bridge, the vehicle traffic, Brooklyn, Manhattan.
Everywhere, except at her.
He holds his arms close to him like he's cold. She still has his jacket around her. She shrugs it off and hands it back to him. "Here. Take it."
He looks disappointed for a second, but he puts it back on.
A tiny voice inside her head tells her to just let it go. It's not the right time. But she can't. "Why not?"
He sifts through his thoughts for an answer. "I don't know… Eames. Because we've moved on. Because right now, we're friends and I didn't want to ruin that. That night was a mistake. It's in the past. Let it go." He walks away, continuing toward the Brooklyn side.
Okay, he's upset. So is she. They didn't handle things well.
That doesn't make it a mistake.
After taking several steps, possibly trying to get warm again, he slows and waits for her.
She jogs a little and catches up to him. "A mistake?!"
"Yeah."
"Why would you say that?"
"Eames, I don't want to talk about it!"
"Bobby, I've been carrying these questions in my mind since that night. I don't like how things ended with us. I don't even think it's helped my relationship with Mark."
"I had nothing to do with what happened between you and Mark!"
"I'm saying that you and I never got closure. It's hard to move on. Well, it was hard for me. How long did it take you to forget me? Five minutes?"
Bobby shrugs it off. "Sometimes you don't get closure."
They continue walking in silence. As they reach Brooklyn, she considers leaving and letting him sulk his way back home while she calls one of her brothers for a ride, or makes her way to the subway and heads back to Queens.
The lingering silence between them is about as painful as the blister she's got from the shoes she wore tonight.
A few blocks later his building comes into view, and Bobby slows his pace.
"Look, Eames…I…"
She wonders whether he'll apologize to her or say they need to cool off and save this conversation for later. She thought he'd at least be open to talking about it.
"…I'll go to Hannah tomorrow. Put in for a transfer. Maybe fill in at homicide until I leave for Portugal. You've got the new detectives starting this week."
"Do you have to go that far, Bobby?"
He doesn't respond.
Her tears continue. She shoves her hands in her pockets. Dammit, why don't I EVER have tissues when I need them?
"I think it's for the best under the circumstances," he explains. "I had a nice time tonight. Please thank Daniel for me."
"Wait…"
He turns back to face her.
She won't be able to let this rest until she gets everything she needs to say off her mind. No matter how it comes out.
"I love you, Bobby," she tells him.
"What!?"
Alex continues. Her voice breaks as she admits it all. "I know it's too late, but it's the truth! I thought you should hear the truth! I loved you since that night a year ago, and probably before that. I love you right now, even though you're pissing me off! I'll still love you after you're gone…" She wipes tears with her fingers.
She needs him to step up and console her. Just one hug. He's done it in the past when she's upset.
She lifts her head, and he's just standing there. Not saying a word. His head is lowered.
Probably thinking about a cigarette.
Not that she gives a crap about the neighborhood, but their argument is drawing attention. There are two people looking out the window of an apartment building across the street, an Uber driver parked at the curb looking at them, and two people walking their dogs who have looked over.
He doesn't respond, and she prompts him again. "Why can't you just talk to me, Bobby? Let's go get some coffee and just get this all out."
He shakes his head. "You brushed me off, Eames!"
"Wh-what? No, I didn't!"
"You did! I went to talk to you that next morning, and you didn't want to talk! No contact from you all weekend, and Monday it was back to work."
"Bobby—"
"It was over after that night… Or it never started! And I came back to Major Case because I wanted to work with you!"
"But you want to forget that we slept together?"
"Yes!"
"Why?"
"IT HURTS!" he shouts at her. His voice cuts through loudly and they're getting more glares. A dog on the next block starts barking.
"I'm sorry! But I'm hurting too!"
"I went over to see you that night because I hadn't heard from you all day. I was worried about you! Then you told me about your dad. I wanted to be there for you."
"You're right. I wasn't in a good mood that night because of my dad. But I went to see you on Sunday, so we could talk and you weren't there!"
"Oh…" His expression changes. "Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't know."
"I needed time to process what happened with us. Then my dad. And the damned notes from your other girlfriends! It was too much!"
"What notes? What girlfriends?"
"You had notes from other girls asking to hook up with you. It made me feel like I didn't matter."
"I don't know about any notes. And I never said you didn't matter! There was no one else back then."
"So, let's talk."
"About what?"
"About what happened! About us! Please!"
"Eames, I'm with somebody else! Whatever we say doesn't change that."
Alex sighs. She wasn't expecting him to dump his perfect girlfriend. Just talk. Maybe work through some questions they both have.
But this is all the closure she's going to get.
And she thought having the door shut in her face by Mark was awkward.
"It's cold out here. You should get inside. Goodnight, Bobby." She turns away from him but doesn't leave.
"Goodnight." Bobby leaves and goes inside.
When she hears the outside door to his building close, she starts sobbing. There's nothing left to do except get the pain out. All out. She's tired of carrying it.
After a minute, someone touches her arm. She looks up, wondering if she'd see Bobby, but it's a woman walking a black labrador retriever.
"Are you okay, ma'am?"
Alex nods, sniffles, and wipes her eyes. "Just…a bad night. A really bad night."
The dog wanders over and brushes past her leg, then sits beside Alex's feet and looks up at her as she's looking at him.
"Henry's a sweet boy," says the dog's owner.
Alex nods, and pets the dog on the head. "Hi, Henry." He licks her hand and Alex smiles.
Some days she'd give anything to have a dog. There's just no time with her life committed to her job.
To his owner, she says. "I'm okay. On my way home. But thanks for checking."
There are so many situations where someone is crying for other reasons, like assault, domestic violence, or mental health. As a cop, she appreciates people who check on others.
"Sure," says Henry's owner. "Call a friend or a family member when you get home."
"Thanks, I will. Goodnight."
"Goodnight." The dog owner tugs the leash, and Henry follows her.
x x x
Bobby enters his apartment and closes the door. A few steps inside, he sets his keys down and wanders into the kitchen.
His stomach is turning. Combined with the appetizers and beer he had tonight, he's not sure what's going to stay down.
He stares across the living room at a couple of boxes in the corner for Lisbon.
Alex's words replay in his head.
'…I love you, Bobby. I know it's too late, but it's the truth! I thought you should hear the truth. I loved you since that night a year ago, and probably before that. I love you right now, even though you're pissing me off! I'll still love you after you're gone…'
Bobby takes a shaky breath, balls his hand into a fist, and punches the wall. It makes a small dent that he'll have to patch up before moving out. The punch helps a little but doesn't completely satisfy him, so he punches the wall again.
Then a third time.
And a fourth time.
He sinks to the floor. Sobs come out from somewhere deep inside that he thought he buried.
He hasn't forgotten a single detail of that night. Just thought he wasn't enough for her.
Then along comes Leona. Everything seemed so easy. He had the relationship he thought he'd never get. The possibility of marriage. Someone to love who will love him back.
He was ready to give her everything.
There's a part of him that never stopped wanting to love Alex.
Bobby suddenly remembers Alex standing outside and goes to his window. He doesn't see her. He looks toward the nearest subway station and along adjacent streets.
Maybe he should leave her alone, but he can't help it.
He's still wearing his jacket, so he grabs his keys and heads for the door.
A brisk walk later, he's taking the subway to Queens.
x x x
Alex finds a cab and makes her way back home. It feels colder outside, plus the blister on her foot is getting worse.
She hates how she fell apart and how some words came out. But she feels relieved that she finally said something.
She reaches her apartment at almost 3:00 am. As she nears her door, someone is standing there.
"Mark…?"
He turns at the sound of his name. "Alex… Sorry. I know it's late. We both have to work in a few hours. I couldn't sleep. I was hoping we could talk."
Of course, she's wondering what he's doing here and how long he's been waiting at the door.
She prepares to say no. Too much drama for one night. "Mark, I—"
"I wouldn't be here if it wasn't critical. If you could spare a half hour, I'll make it up to you somehow."
"Is this about…us?"
He shakes his head. "It's about work. I suspect the partners are involved in something criminal."
"Criminal," Alex repeats, in disbelief. "Okay."
"Yeah. We're about to be audited, and I've uncovered some issues with the billing for two accounts where I'm a co-counsel. The partners are setting up fake accounts and transferring money. Although none of these problems are my fault, my name is still attached to them, and my clients are affected. I don't see a way out of this situation, and it's keeping me up at night. I don't have anyone at the firm that I trust enough to discuss this with without the risk of it blowing up in my face. There's a diner down the street that's open. I'll buy you coffee."
She nods. "Make it a large."
x
They grab a booth near the door and order coffee.
"I've stayed with this firm because it seemed like my best chance of making partner. At my age, I have competition with the Columbia and NYU graduates who are billing more hours than me. Law is my second career path. I got a late start. I'm also afraid if I leave suddenly, that could look suspicious," he explains.
Alex nods. "I don't know what I can tell you that you wouldn't already do. I know you're meticulous with notes and billing. Be honest if you're brought in for review. It's your best defense. I don't know what Peter would suggest, but he'd be a better resource than I could."
"I didn't want to call him before checking with you. He's your brother-in-law. Didn't want to make things awkward."
"You can call him. I wish I had more advice."
"You're helping, Alex. Just as I thought you would." Mark's attention was suddenly drawn to something outside the window. "Who's…that?"
Alex follows his gaze and sees Bobby standing outside the diner, staring at her. He wants to talk. She rolls her eyes and then scoots out of the booth. "I'll just be a second."
A moment later, she's outside and approaches him. She immediately picks up the scent of his cigarettes.
He lifts his head to look at her. He looks distressed. It's possible he was crying. A glance at his hands shows redness on his knuckles where he may have punched something.
It's been a long night and as soon as she can leave Mark, she's going to bed and plans to forget tonight ever happened.
"What?" she hisses.
"I left you standing on the sidewalk. I wanted to make sure you got home okay," he says.
"I can get home by myself."
"I know. I'm sorry. It was inconsiderate of me to walk away like that."
"You don't owe me an apology. You don't owe me anything. I just wanted to talk to you back there in Brooklyn and you made your case. Goodnight."
Bobby lifts his eyes toward the window beside the booth where Mark sits. "What does Mark want?"
"A friend. He needed someone to talk to." She turns and walks back toward the diner. "You know your way back."
x x x
A/N: Don't worry, we're not done yet. =)