Chapter 22: Little Lies
The staircase stopped spinning and the trio ended up looking at the dark cherry wood door beyond which waited the headmaster.
"Good evening, Harry, Miss Granger," Dumbledore said from behind his desk. He was stroking the beautiful Phoenix who sat on his desk. "I trust your feast was enjoyable."
"Yes sir," Harry said stiffly, his eyes taking in the room, especially the bird.
"This is Fawkes," Dumbledore introduced his bird. "He is my familiar. One of the best familiars anyone could ask for.
Harry just wanted him to cut to the chase, interesting as Fawkes was.
"Professor McGonagall told us you'd like to speak with us?"
"Yes," Dumbledore began sadly. "First, to Miss Granger, I am very glad for the help you have given Harry over the last year. Especially this summer. You have been helped him more than anyone has, that includes myself."
"Harry is my friend," Hermione said plainly. "I know he would do the same for me."
Dumbledore nodded and turned to Harry.
"I must apologize for my role in putting you in that… situation," he said. "I hope Minerva is taking care of you, better care than I did."
"She is, sir," Harry said, waiting for Dumbledore to get to the point he called them for.
"Last year," Dumbledore began slowly. "You asked me why Voldemort targeted you and your parents. I told you I did not think you were ready for the answer but Minerva has reminded me that secrets help nobody.
"14 years ago, I was interviewing staff for the coming year at Hogwarts. I needed to fill two positions: Potions and Divination. If you aren't aware, Divination is the study of divining the future. In the wizarding world, there are seers who can see the future. They are rare but they do exist. Those who have visions create prophecies. Now, the study of Divination is an inexact science and their prophecies are always more than a little vague.
"At my interview for the position was going poorly until my interviewee went into a trance."
Dumbledore pulled a blue orb out of his pocket.
"She made this prophecy," Dumbledore explained as he handed the orb to Harry.
As soon as Harry touched it, the orb glowed hot and turned from blue to yellow. A gypsy-looking woman with large glasses floated out of the dust and started speaking.
"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies..."
Harry sat in silence, looking at the orb, absorbing the message he heard.
"A spy of Voldemort's overheard the prophecy but only the first half. Shortly thereafter, he went after you. He could have chosen Neville Longbottom as the prophecy could have applied to you but he chose you.
So as you can see you have quite the burden on you, Harry," Dumbledore said morosely. "I didn't want to burden this with you so soon but now that you know I can train-"
"No." Harry's voice was firm.
"Excuse me?" Dumbledore was flabbergasted.
"I don't want you to train me," Harry said plainly. "I don't trust you. You've kept too many secrets and let too many things happen to me. I think you'd just see me as a weapon. I will continue to train with Professor Flitwick and, if she'll allow, Professor McGonagall.
"I know what is expected of me. Whether I believe in this prophecy or not is irrelevant; Voldemort does. He will keep coming after me. If he can't get to me, he will go after my friends and allies. One of us will have to kill the other, not because of the prophecy but because Voldemort can't believe I beat him. He probably believes it was me because he can't fathom that it was my mother. I can't change that; all I can do is prepare the best I can so that I stand a chance when next we meet.
"Thank you for your honesty, Professor. I would like to think we could build a bridge toward a relationship but right now I don't think that would be best for me."
"Harry, there's so much I could teach you…" Dumbeldore reasoned.
"Yes, professor." Harry replied. He wasn't angry but his voice was hardened steel. "But there's a lot you need to learn as well. You've relied upon you and you alone for too long. No man is an island and I certainly am going to work on becoming stronger but my greatest strength is other people.
"Professor Flitwick told us last year that Voldemort became so powerful because he isolated and divided us," Harry said. "I will endeavor to make it so he cannot do that again. Voldemort is powerful but he is one man who acts as an individual. I could tell that with Quirrell. Quirrell was just a means to an end, Voldemort did not care for his life.
"Perhaps one day I can train with you but today is not that day. With the help of Professors Flitwick and McGonagall and the steady helping hand of my best friend, I will continue to train and grow but I won't let it consume my humanity. The prophecy says I will have a power that he knows not. You think that power is love; I think it is friendship. Voldemort might have followers but does he have friends? A follower will follow only as long as it benefits them; a friend will follow no matter what the benefits might be."
"Very wise words and wise thinking, Mr. Potter," McGonagall said, a note of pride in her voice. "We will work together and if he does return, he will be very sorry that he did."
"Exactly right," Hermione nodded. "Stronger together, right?"
"Stronger together," Harry nodded and all three heads turned back toward Dumbledore.
"Well the offer still stands," Dumbledore folded his hands.
"Thank you professor," Harry said. "First things first would be to build trust between us and, to be honest, that is going to take a long, long time."
"Very well, Harry," Dumbeldore sighed. "I would ask that you do not disclose the contents of the prophecy to-"
"No." Harry said again. "No secrets. I am not going to shout it from the top of Big Ben but I will inform my friends, and Professor Flitwick, of the target that is on my back. They deserve to know. The only part Voldemort doesn't know is the "Power he knows not' and Voldy is too arrogant to consider that another would be anywhere near his power, let alone have power he doesn't.
"I won't quote the prophecy word-for-word but I will let them know."
"Very well," Dumbledore said. "You talked of building trust. Perhaps this will be a good place to start."
Dumbledore withdrew his wand and tapped a drawer. He opened it and withdrew something. In his hand was a sheet of muggle paper. Harry could see the curvy "Harry" written on it.
"Minerva tells me she gave you a letter written to you by your father. Your mother wrote another such letter. I am not sure who she intended to get it but, sadly, I found this in the cottage the night they were attacked. She mentions the prophecy so I wanted to give this to you when I felt you were ready."
Dumbledore extended the letter to Harry. When he did, he heard a loud snap and his bookshelves all disappeared, making the books all fall in on one another.
"You…" Harry was seething. "You kept the ONLY letter that I would EVER get from my MOTHER because it held information you did not DEEM me ready for."
Harry did not shout, his voice was barely above a whisper but every word was coated in barbed wire.
"I did not want to burden…"
"Enough! You didn't want to burden me but yet you also didn't think about my well being! You left me at a house where I systematically mentally, emotionally and physically abused. You talk of burdens. By keeping me there, you put the burden of growing up on me. By not checking up, you put my welfare into the hands of creatures so detestable that they locked me in a GOD DAMN CUPBOARD."
Harry couldn't hold back anymore. His voice climbed as he spoke, ending in him shouting.
"Burdens… I am already burdened enough, thank you very much. I thank every deity ever worshipped that Hermione was the one to find me and help me at the station that day. Without her…" Harry shuddered. Standing up, he snapped the letter out of his hand. "Thank you for the letter. Now it is probably best we spend some time apart."
Harry snapped the letter out of Dumbledore's hand, turned and almost stormed out of the office. A small distraught gasping sound made him turn back: Dumbledore was weeping. Dumbledore sat at his desk, holding a picture. He looked the very physical embodiment of broken.
"Oh Harry," Dumbledore cried. "I am so sorry. Years ago, I was young and brilliant. Everyone wanted to hear from the Great Albus Dumbledore. The man with 12 Outstandings on his N.E. . The scholar, the genius, the next coming of Merlin. Oh how the public loved me.
"Right when it seemed I had everything I wanted, tragedy hit. My sister had been attacked by muggles many years ago and it caused her to dam up her magic. She became an Obscurial, an extremely powerful, destructive force of magic. For years, my mother took care of her. She kept her locked in the house for her protection."
Dumbledore spat the last word.
"Then, when I was just about to explore the world and magic itself, my mother died. I was selfish… and bitter. I felt like I had been robbed of my future. Because I was the oldest and my brother Aberforth was still in school, it fell to me to care for her.
"Around that time, I fell in love with another wizard: Gellert Grindelwald."
Harry and Hermione gasped.
"Oh it was wonderful. He was just as brilliant as me, as driven. Together we dreamt of a world where magicals were superior to muggles in every way. Gellert called it the Greater Good. I was young, foolish and lonely. I allowed Gellert to lead me down a path I knew was wrong but so much of it excited me. With the world catering to the Greater Good, my sister need not be hidden away. I could have been free of my obligations.
"In my furor, I neglected my brother and sister. I never noticed my sister getting worse and worse; I didn't care. One day my brother Abe came home and chewed me out. Gellert was over and Abe just shouted at both of us for our delusions of grandeur. Gellert didn't like that. Not at all.
"Gellert drew his wand. I knew there was darkness in Gellert but I ignored it. At the time he drew his wand, I could ignore it no longer. Soon, all three of us were dueling, none of us noticing my sister stepping into the room. She screamed for us to stop, begged me with her last breath. I don't know who actually ended up doing it but… next thing I knew, Gellert is fleeing, Abe is crying, cradling my sister in his arms and I'm… numb.
"For the longest time, I have worried, feared that it was me; that I killed my sister. Ever since then, I knew that power was not for me. It would have turned me into a wizard just like Gellert.
"I buried my sister, took the post at Hogwarts and never again wished for a spot where I would have power over another. Then, Voldemort happened and everyone wanted me to do something, to become the leader. Regrettably I took the positions as Chief Warlock and Chief Mugwump because I knew if I did not, someone else would take it; someone who did not have the best intentions. Yet I took them and even as guarded as I have been, they still warped my mind.
"You, Harry, are the true leader the wizarding world needs. I offered to train you and you turned it down. You spoke of allies and friendship. Even at 12, you are twice the man I will ever be. And what did I do? I sent you to that place, all because I thought it would do the most good.
Without thinking, I slipped into the Greatest Good again and again a young life is tarnished because of it. I'm so sorry Harry. I'm so sorry."
Silence reigned in the office, interrupted only by Dumbledore's sobs, until Harry spoke.
"That right there," Harry gestured toward the headmaster. "That's how you build trust, Professor. Up to this point, I never knew you to have a human moment. For the first time, you are a real person with real problems and a real history. Trust is a long way away but this, this right here, is the first step. The letter would have been nice but to be real, to be vulnerable. That's real trust. That's asking the other person not to judge you or use your worst moments as a weapon to kill you.
"Thank you, Professor, for everything you shared. I think I will head to bed now."
And together with Hermione, Harry headed toward Gryffindor tower, absorbing everything that just happened.