Chapter 49: The Monster/Falling Away From Me

After Hermione's birthday, time sped up and the next thing Harry knew it was the last week of October. He entered the Great Hall for breakfast when something caught his attention. Midway down the table, Colin was sitting by himself, looking morose.

"Good morning, Colin," Harry greeted. Colin raised his blonde head just enough to acknowledge Harry and then dropped it back down to his plate. "Are you doing okay?"

"I'm fine," the boy said, unconvincingly.

"Come on now," Harry pressed. "What's up?"

"Do you think I'm annoying?" Colin asked.

"You can be a little exuberant sometimes but I don't think you're annoying," Harry said.

"Everyone in my year seems to want to avoid me," Colin said. "I try to get them to like me; to be someone who they would want to befriend but I'm never quite accepted."

"Have you tried being yourself?" Harry asked, seriously.

"I don't think that would work," Colin said. "I try to make those around me happy, to do what I think they'd like but it doesn't seem to work."

"That's probably because you are trying too hard," Harry said. "You can't please everyone and trying to do so will give you the opposite results. Just relax, be yourself and try to connect with them on a personal level."

"I'll give it a shot," Colin said. Harry spent the rest of the meal talking with him about photography and where he would like to develop as a photographer before checking in with him about the different classes.

As Harry talked to Colin, he spotted Neville walking up to Hannah. Neville looked nervous, shifting on the balls of his feet and biting his nails. Harry barely heard him ask for a moment. They moved off to the corner and, after a few moments, Neville walked away. He was beaming and Hannah was blushing. Harry caught his eye and gave him a silent congratulations.

Harry brought his attention back to Colin who was saying how much he loved Professor Lupin, something shared by most of the student body.

Harry thought about how much everyone loved Lupin as he made his way to the defense classroom. Lupin's classes were fun, informative and challenging. In the D.A. Lupin took a more active role to help students learn the spells and even introduced a few, like the piercing hex, a jinx that will lock the other person's tongue to the roof of their mouth and a special charm to work with incarcerous where the chords would constrict against their bound victim if the victim struggled against them. Hermione tweaked that in one of their sessions with Flitwick where she turned those cords into barbed wire. She demonstrated it on a dummy which made Harry glad he wasn't on the receiving end as the watched the barbed wire burrow into the dummy.

Lupin complimented her on the spellwork when she demonstrated it that she beamed widely. That's when Harry noticed something different.

"Hermione," Harry put a hand on her shoulder, turning her toward her. "Your teeth…"

"Aren't they wonderful?" Hermione beamed even wider, showing off her front teeth that Harry could see had recently been shrunk. "I just got them done today. Mum and daddy told me I could shrink them when they sent me my birthday card."

Harry hugged her and shared in her joy. He knew that her teeth were a facet of herself she didn't care for, especially since Malfoy had started calling her "Beaky" whenever he saw her.

Harry smiled at the memory of Hermione's glee as they entered the defense classroom. Before he could take his usual spot, Lupin entered from the back of the classroom.

"Good, I got here early enough," Lupin said. "Everyone grab your bags and follow me."

The confused class was led down the hall to a door that none of them had ever used before. Lupin swung it open and ushered the class inside. The class arrayed themselves around a long table that took up the center of the room. At the opposite end sat a wardrobe that was wobbling dangerously.

"Welcome to the staff room," Lupin said. "Technically students are not allowed in here but I'm bending the rules for the creature who lies in that wardrobe. Can anyone guess what it is?"

Hermione's well-practiced hand was first in the air.

"A boggart?" she said after Lupin called on her.

"Good guess," Lupin answered with a grin. "10 points to Gryffindor. Now who can tell me what a boggart looks like?"

"Nobody knows," Ron said, surprising everyone. "They are shapeshifters."

"Exactly," Lupin said. "10 points to Gryffindor for you as well. Boggarts are beings who shift into whatever form you fear most. There is a spell you can use. It is a quick spinning motion with the incantation riddikulus. Say it for me."

"Riddikulus," the class did as he requested.

"No that won't do," Lupin was always a master of getting the students engaged. "Once more with feeling."

"Riddikulus!" The class shouted louder.

"Again," Lupin threw his arms up in an animated fashion. "Let them hear you in the astronomy tower."

"RIDDIKULUS!" The class bellowed.

"Yes!" Lupin cheered. "That's what I'm talking about. Now the other thing a boggart hates is laughter. When you cast the spell, picture something that you find humorous. Who wants to go first?"

Hannah tentatively raised her hand.

"Yes, Miss Abbott," Lupin called her forward. "Now can you tell me what terrifies you?"

"When I was little," Hannah rung her hands together. "I got to see a muggle film called Alien. I wasn't supposed to, mum said I was too young but I snuck around and watched it."

"I remember that one," Lupin nodded. "I'm guessing you didn't react well?"

"Ever since then, those creatures terrify me," Hannah admitted. "But I think I am ready."

"Excellent. I will open the wardrobe and the boggart will exit. Cast the spell when you're ready."

Lupin opened the door and out stepped one of the aliens from Alien. It advanced on Hannah who paled. She shook off her fear and cast "riddikulus."

The alien looked unchanged but when it opened its mouth, a noise maker popped out, with a loud party noise. After that, there was a confetti shower and the sound of kids cheering. *

At the laughter of the class, the boggart retreated. Lupin had the class line up so they could each get their turn. Parvati turned a Snake into a slinky, Ron removed the legs from a spider and Susan turned a ghoul into a bedsheet. Everything went normal until Hermione stepped up.

The boggart popped in the form a small, bloody, mangled body propped up against the wardrobe, its messy black hair the only distinguishing feature. Hermione paled and yelped at reliving her worst memory again but steeled her eyes.

"Riddikulus," she cast, confidently. The body picked itself up and had two more people moving it around.

"Weekend at Bernies, Hogwarts edition!" Dean called out gleefully, which inspired the class to laugh. Since joining the D.A., Dean had come out of his shell. At Harry's behest, he spoke with Babbling and transferred to Ancient Runes, discovering he was a natural, one of the better students in the class. After Hermione walked away, flicking away a stray tear as she did, Neville stepped up. Lupin threw open the wardrobe again and out stepped Bellatrix Lestrange.

"What do we have here?" Bellatrix taunted. "Itty bitty Longbottom. I've always wanted to get the whole set. Will you last longer than your parents, I wonder? Cruci-"

"No!" Harry threw himself in front of Neville. The Bellatrix boggart licked her lips and sneered before morphing into the last person Harry expected to see.

Lupin was in the process of intervening when the sight of Lily Potter stopped him dead in his tracks. Why is Lily Harry's greatest fear, he wondered?

Harry's green eyes locked on to Lily's before Lily turned around.

"Not Harry, I beg you!" Lily pleaded.

"Silly girl, Avada Kedavra!" A green light hit her square in the chest and she crumpled in front of Harry. Harry moved to her but before he could reach her, the boggart morphed into Hermione. As with Lily, Hermione turned around and cast herself in front of him as a shield.

"You won't touch him," Hermione said, fiercely.

"Out of the way! Avada Kedavra," Voldemort's voice cut through. Voldemort finally stepped out of the wardrobe, causing the whole class to scream in terror. "I will kill everyone you love. Everyone you hold dear, whoever protects you, will die. Remember that."

Harry collapsed, tears fell from eyes as he focused on Hermione's lifeless form. He reached out to touch her when she disappeared. In her place floated a glowing orb.

"Riddikulus!" Lupin cast and the orb turned into a pie that Lupin banished into the wardrobe. "And that, class, is why boggarts are dangerous, especially for those who have endured an especially traumatic experience. Do not think less of someone who can't handle one. There are just some things you can't make funny. Class dismissed."

Harry barely registered the class filing out. Hermione had sprinted to his side and molded her body to his back. He closed his eyes and tried to stop his entire body from shaking. Her scent filled his nostrils and he could hear her whispering.

"It's okay," Hermione soothed. "I'm still here. I'm still here."

Hermione repeated her phrase over and over, hoping it would sink in.

"I'm sorry, Harry," Neville said. "If I didn't freeze, you wouldn't have had to step in."

"It's okay, Nev," Harry heard his voice say. "I didn't want you to get hurt. I just didn't expect… that."

"I am sorry as well," Lupin said, his voice finally making Harry look up. Green met grey and Harry couldn't help but notice the sadness within them. "It was my plan to not let you face the boggart. I thought it would take the form of Lord Voldemort and that his presence would terrify the class, you especially, Harry.

"When it turned into Lily, I was so confused," Harry noticed Lupin used his mum's first name but filed it away for another day. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, professor," Harry waived his apologies away like they were physically floating in front of them. "I'll be fine."

With the help of Hermione and Neville, Harry was escorted to the Great Hall for dinner where none of his yearmates would look him in the eye which was fine because he had never in his life found his plate so interesting. Hermione remained close to him, trying to get him to eat but Harry's catatonic brain wasn't in the mood. He never even noticed Luna sitting down on his other side.

"The Nargles are especially strong around you today, Harry," she said while loading up her plate.

"We've just come from Defense," Hermione explained in hushed tones. "Lupin taught us how to deal with a boggart."

"I see," Luna said and pulled Harry's arm away from his body and wrapped itself around her. Before Harry knew what was happening, Luna was wrapped tightly around him, hugging the living daylights out of him. "What happened?"

Harry barely registered Lavender and Parvati sliding closer to Neville on the other side of the table. Parvati cast a privacy spell and Harry started to talk.

"My mum," Harry said, tears bristling at the corner of his eyes. "It was just like the dementors. Then after her, it was Hermione. Voldemort then told me everyone who tried to protect me, everyone I loved, he would kill."

"I'm sorry," Luna said simply and hugged him even tighter. She didn't say anything more than that but something in the way she said it, made Harry feel better.

The rest of the meal passed in silence. Luna never moved away from Harry, she never said anything, she just was there. Hermione grabbed his other hand and leaned into him from the other side. Hermione smiled as she saw him visibly relax. They didn't ask any questions; they just remained close, silently communicating they were there for him. Once dinner was over, Harry meandered up to the staff table where all the Gryffindors were turning in their Hogsmeade permission slips before the first Hogsmeade weekend. McGonagall saw the way Harry looked. She was about to ask what was the matter when Hermione quickly shook her head and mouthed "later."

Harry turned and walked out of the Great Hall to return to Gryffindor Tower. Luna returned to her spot next to him, her presence a quiet comfort for him. As they usually did, Hermione and Neville took up flanking positions around him with Neville walking next to Luna.

"So Potter," Draco taunted as Harry ascended the stairs toward their common room. "I see you're not worried about going to Hogsmeade. What? Don't think Black will go after you if you have enough skirts to hide behind? As if that was enough to protect Pettigrew. You know what happened to him and he was a fully-trained wizard.

"Or maybe it'll be the werewolves," Draco said. "Maybe they'll go after Granger first; make you watch. You're not afraid, are you Beaky? Of a werewolf tearing you to shreds like they did his aunt and uncle?"

"Ignore him," Hermione grabbed his arm and increased their pace.

"Maybe they'll work together," Draco said. "Black'll probably do Beaky first. Make you watch him as he slowly kills her the same way the Dark Lord did to your mudblood mother."

Harry's vision blurred at the last jibes. He vaguely heard Hermione's gasp of air and barely noticed Luna stepping back in shock. He never registered himself throwing off Neville's attempts to hold him back as he snapped and turned around, his wand at the ready. Draco's eyes widened as Harry's eyes were a dull green, hard and full of rage. It was in that moment that he truly felt fear at the force that was Harry Potter.

"Depulso," Harry cast, his voice cold. What he failed to realize is they were at the top of the stairs, three levels up. His rage cleared in an instant as he witnessed the green-tinted robes of Draco Malfoy fall backward in a graceful arc. Time seemed to stop on the stairs as students gasped. Draco had three stories to fall before he'd find anything resembling the ground.

I've killed him, Harry said. I didn't mean to do it but I've killed him all the same.

"Arresto Momento," Harry saw a white light flash by him. Draco's descent slowed and he hit the floor in the main atrium with a dull thud. Harry whipped around, wondering who to thank for saving Draco when he saw Snape with his wand drawn.

"Reckless, Potter," Snape said. "100 points from Gryffindor and I'm afraid I'm going to have to confine you to the castle for the weekend. No Hogsmeade for you, I'm afraid."

Snape had a small, victorious grin, as if he had been waiting for something like this to happen. Harry ignored the obvious bait and instead focused on what he truly felt.

"Yes sir," Harry hung his head. Snape turned and began to strut away before a small voice made him turn back. "Thank you."

"What do you have to thank me for, Potter," Snape sneered.

"For saving his life," Harry said. "I… don't know that I could have lived with myself if he… if I…"

Snape's image of Harry being James Potter shattered then and there. Contrition was something James Potter just didn't do. What stood in front of him was a boy with emerald green eyes and a kind heart, the heart who wouldn't wish harm on even her most vile enemy.

Her!? Snape shook himself. Where did that pronoun come from?

"Be glad that I was here," Snape regained his composure. "Otherwise, Dumbledore's favorite or not, you would have been expelled forthwith."

"Yes sir," Harry walked quietly back to the common room, ignoring the whispers that followed him.

The group made its way back to the common room where Harry sat down heavily on the sofa, Luna silently providing him the same support she did at dinner.

"How could you be so careless?" Hermione sat next to him and lectured. "You knew he was trying to bait you and you let him."

She had been looking forward to Hogsmeade with Harry, their first date out of the castle.

"You're better than this, Harry," Harry dropped his head into his hands.

"That's enough Hermione," Luna's voice, calm and steady, cut through her rant. "Malfoy's taunts were almost carbon copy to what Harry just experienced. I wanted to throw the git off the stairs too. It wasn't a random taunt; it was specifically targeted against the person Harry cares most for in this world. How are you not angrier with Malfoy for what he said than what Harry did? You've said your piece and nothing you can say will make him feel worse than he already does, right now."

Hermione dipped her head in embarrassment, realizing Harry didn't need her haranguing him. She took a cue from Luna, wrapped her arms around his midsection and squeezed.

"Draco probably is regretting his comments," Ginny said as she walked up with Fred, George and Ron. "Everyone in the castle is talking about it; more than a few are honestly a little sad that Snape caught him. We don't blame you, Harry. I wouldn't have pushed him back; I would have bound him, kicked him in the balls and then suspended him above the Great Hall for all to see."

"The little shite deserved it," Fred Weasley said. "Ron told us what happened, both with the boggart and what Malfoy said."

"Family comes first," George picked up the thread. "If that pile of hippogriff shite had said that thing to us, hell if we had heard him say that to you, we would have torn him apart with our bare hands."

"Sorry, Harry," Ron said. "I'm sure what Malfoy said, especially after your experience in Defense, was hard to hear. It couldn't have been easy, having that thrown in your face."

"Thank you, Ron," Harry said, his voice still quiet.

"Hey Hermione," Ron turned to her. "Would you want to go to Hogsmeade together? See the town, explore the shops, you know?"

"Oh uh," Hermione's brain whizzed to a stop. Half of her was still processing everything that happened in the last four hours and couldn't formulate a response.

"Sorry," Lavender interrupted her thoughts. "She's actually already going with Parvati and me; girls day out, you know?"

Lavender winked at Hermione who smiled gratefully at her friend stepping in.

"Maybe next time, then," Ron sulked and moved away. Ginny rolled her eyes as she walked away, knowing this wasn't going to end well for her brother. Harry, meanwhile, was trying not to look annoyed at the idea of Ron trying to take his girlfriend on a date. It didn't matter than Ron didn't know that, Harry was still annoyed.

"I'm sorry, Hermione," Harry said once the Weasley clan moved off. "I was looking forward to our date in Hogsmeade. His taunt about you dying like my mother hit especially hard today, the way he talked about you being ripped to shreds like…"

Harry suddenly realized something.

"Holy shit," Harry's head snapped up. "Draco let something slip. He told said 'a werewolf tearing you to shreds, like they did my aunt and uncle.' I never told him who my aunt and uncle were, how did he know they were killed?"

"That would mean…"

"Either he knew the werewolf who did it-"

"-Or the werewolf was working for someone he knows," Hermione finished.

They looked at one another and had the exact same thought: "Lucius Malfoy."

"I have to write a letter," Harry said. "Madam Bones needs to know this. Malfoy probably bragged about it to his son or his son overheard him bragging. Either way, that would point to who the mysterious force behind the werewolf attacks were and how they knew who to target."

Harry rifled through his bag for parchment and a quill, hoping that they could finally nail Lucius on something.

(A/N: Changed a few things of this chapter. The further I got from it, the more I hated it. It had some excessively out of character moments for Hermione and I've corrected that, as well giving her an out to keep her from going to Hogsmeade with Ron. That was just a terrible idea I got married to early and was so focused on making it work, I failed to realize it doesn't.

*The sound effect of the Alien-boggart is based on what happens when you headshot a Grunt in Halo with the Grunt Birthday Party skull on. If you haven't experienced it, I would recommend Googling it.