The Featheriest Servants of Slaanesh
By Handmaiden Casa Maison
The True God Slaanesh, even in all Her perfection, is a jealous ruler, who dislikes others to have things that He does not. As such, when She learnt about the Minor Daemon variant called Ursa's, meaning that Slaanesh was now the only Deity without a Minor Daemon, and how they were created for Khorne by the children of the Protectorate, He reportedly went into what our Lady Emeli referred to as a "Snit".
Fearing that the Protectorate might lose her Mistress's goodwill, Lady Emeli sought to find a suitable gift that might placate Him, and searched the length and breadth of the Immaterium. She did not have to bother though, for a scant few days later, she found the ideal thing on Slawkenburg itself.
It was a minor state holiday, and Liberator Cain and Lady Zerayah had eschewed the festivities to take a day trip to the countryside, with only Aide Jurgen, Bloodward Malicia, and Sister Krystabel for company, the last of whom came along so Lady Emeli might watch her beloved relax for once through her Chosen servant's eyes. They had chosen to visit a small and exceptionally charming village, noted even in the bad old days for its bucolic beauty. It was there that they met… It.
While reportedly having a quiet and very pleasant lunch served to them in the outdoor seating area of the village hostelry by the star-struck landlord and his lady wife, they became aware of some commotion occurring somewhere else in the village, and getting closer by the minute. The landlord reportedly turned pale as a sheet, whispering something along the lines of 'Oh please, not today', and went to personally guard the gate against whatever danger was encroaching. Liberator Cain, evidently worried for the sake of his daughter, enquired with the landlady about this unusual occurrence. She assured him that it was nothing for them to worry about, just "the village pest".
This attempt at reassurance was rather spoiled when she suddenly pitched forward with a yelp, sprawling across their table and clutching a certain tender area. This revealed the guilty party, a large white bird.
It was clearly some kind of water fowl, with an orange beak, and dark eyes. But two things really struck the observers:
First, was how utterly beautiful it was, how perfectly proportioned its neck, how exquisite its feathers, how strong its wings, and how it moved with the absolute confidence of one who knows they are above all laws.
Second, was the aura of mischievous malevolence that hung about it. Krystabel and Lady Emeli were both immediately fascinated.
The bird then spread its wings, as though giving the onlookers a chance to fully appreciate how amazing it was, and gave a loud honk, which somehow contained notes of both condescension and self-adulation, and upon receiving only a confused response, waddled off.
Upon making inquiries with the very embarrassed landlady, Krystabel learned that this specific bird seemed to live for no other reason than to irritate the locals, pulling pranks and tricks that seemed far beyond the possible intelligence of a common waterfowl. Intrigued, Lady Emeli instructed her first servant to follow the creature, in order to learn more. She had found her gift.
The first thing she ascertained while observing the avian chaos that it wove through the village, by subtly performing a few sorcerous tests, was that the bird was NOT The Changeling, that most cunning trickster in service to Tzeentch, which had seemed a distinct possibility to begin with. The second thing she ascertained was that it really did not want to leave, as poor Krystabel discovered after receiving several sharp pecks and getting knocked into the village pond while trying to pick it up. However, there is more than one way to skin a grox. Now she had the concept of this animal, she only needed time and power, and she had plenty of both.
It was from this that the first Anserem was born. The only servants of Our Dark Prince to not personify… carnally, each one is a distorted reflection of the creature that inspired them. Their excess is their pride, their passion is their mischievous curiosity, and their perfection is their beauty. They retain the aspect of a waterfowl, but their webbed feet are clawed, their feathers are razor-edged, they have the long, toxin-coated tongue of a Steed of Slaanesh, and their colour is as varied as all servants of Slaanesh are.
Upon presenting the first example to Slaanesh in Her palace where He still sat in a bad humour, Lady Emeli said that She laughed long and loud in scorn at this seemly paltry offering. Upon stopping however, He noticed that Her own Blade was gone from next to His throne, and saw the Anserem dragging it across the floor. None of the Dark Court who sat in attendance had noticed it either, and now sat frozen, stunned by this larcenous offence against their God. Such a singular display of suicidal acquisitiveness made Her reconsider, and look more closely. He first saw the external beauty of the Minor Daemon, and then She saw the exquisite pride and mischievous arrogance that formed its mind, and how it stole His Blade not for any real reason, but just because it could. Then Slaanesh laughed in truth, and She forgave the first Anserem, Lady Emeli, and the Protectorate, and took the new Daemon as one of His own.
The Anseres now serve Slaanesh by skirmishing with his enemies. They are not strong, but they are cunning beyond measure, stealing or destroying their foes' weapons and resources before a battle, exhausting them, and thus making them easy prey for Her main forces, or lacerating them as they swoop past, and even coating them with poisonous spittle sprayed by their echoing Honks.
They love to steal treasures for the Dark Prince, laurels to display in His Palace, for they recognise in Her a kindred spirit, and what is a victory without trophies?
They take particular pleasure in stealing from Nurglites, whom they seem to view as being particularly beneath them in their total absence of Beauty. They covet above all else the Bells so prized by the servants of the Entropic One, and have taken many. Their greatest achievement to date is the theft of the Bell of Breaking, a Relic of the Death Guard's First Plague Company and the loss of which shamed them and their foul master Typhus greatly, and which now has a place of pride in the Prince of Pleasure's throne room, bringing great honour to Lady Emeli in the eyes of the Dark Court.
To conclude, Lady Emeli's wisdom has brought credit to us all in the sight of our God, and a new and fascinating piece onto the board of the Great Game. And I am told that Waterfowl carries on with its mischief to this very day, no one has managed to do a thing about it, and somehow, that is as it should be.
All Credit to Untitled Goose Game, and its developers from House House. Oh, and one last thing:
Dawn of Goose by Kristina Marie Iragana Amuan on ArtStation