AN: The first 5k words of this chapter are spent entirely on leveling-up, so please prepare for a bit of tedium.
The formatting is a bit dogshit due to FFNet being unnecessarily limiting. Again, check the SpaceBattles thread for the intended formatting or if you want to interact with me directly.
If there are formatting errors, blame FFNet.
I awoke inside of a dark, almost featureless void. In front of me was a wooden desk with an insultingly old PC set, the glow from the blocky screen almost mocking me in its brightness.
It didn't matter that this was the sixth time this happened and that I should've been used to this crap by now. The sudden pull from peaceful slumbering (fueled by an ego-boost the size of the seven seas after managing to convince my pretty co-worker to get drunk on a week day) into standing up straight with an annoying bright screen right up on my face was absolutely fucking insulting.
It wasn't like I was completely fine physically, either. My throat was parched and dry after feeding it multiple shots of vodka, tequila, and rum, my body was sore and aching after the multiple kilometers of walking and killing people, and the aftertaste of multiple cigarettes without break laid heavy on my tongue. Clearly, it was my mistake for not taking a couple glasses of water before going to sleep, but it didn't matter; I was pulled from sleep on a very comfortable couch to level up, and I had no say in the matter.
Thankfully, I didn't get completely pissed-out drunk last night. Otherwise, I'd also have to add being hungover to the list of physical maladies.
With my most miserable and drawn-out sigh I could muster on command, I made my way to the desk, hoping that whatever level-ups I got this time were good enough to let me deal with whatever bullshit came next. I wanted some form of reassurance next time a supernatural entity was in the chopping block. Sitting down, the chair creaked loudly and simply resting my hand on the mouse made the wooden desk make a similar creak.
Dear Lord, this Incursion shit was a shitshow.
GREETINGS INCURSOR.
TODAY'S INCURSION HAS ENDED.
INCURSION SUMMARY:
MONEY = $15,041 USD → $215,473 USD
EXP COUNT:
16000 [XP] required for LVL. 6
Ricochet Shots! [15 Times Hit]: 1500xp
DIVINE Hustle! [100k+ USD]: 2000xp [XP CAP HIT!]
Kil-
I stopped reading for a second and screamed to the heavens above. Painfully loudly.
"¡POR LA CHUCHA!" I yelled, the Spanish coming on so strong that the heaven-mandated auto-translator stopped working and, instead of speaking Japanese, the words loaded in Chilean poured out unbidden. "¿¡COMO QUE ME LIMITAN EL XP, HIJOS DE PUTA!? ¡VOY A MATAR AL CONCHETUMARE' QUE HIZO ESTA WEA! ¡POR LA-!"
After a few slaps to the screen later, as if the abuse would somehow change the fact I got scammed out of getting a trillion XP, I managed to calm down enough to first; stop slapping the ancient screen and second; keep reading the damn XP count.
…Hijos de puta.
EXP COUNT:
16000 [XP] required for LVL. 6
Ricochet Shots! [17 Times Hit]: 1700xp
DIVINE Hustle! [100k+ USD]: 2000xp [XP CAP HIT!]
Killed Stray Exorcists [43 - Members of the "Grigori Affiliation Gambit"]: 2000xp [XP CAP HIT!]
"¡Pero por la chucha! ¿¡Me estai' we-!?"
To my dismay, the 'XP CAP HIT!' annotations kept coming. Oh fuck, the level-up page was long.
Killed Fallen Angel [Mittelt]: 2000xp [XP CAP HIT!]
Killed Fallen Angel [Dohnaseek]: 2000xp [XP CAP HIT!]
Killed Fallen Angel [Kalawarner]: 2000xp [XP CAP HIT!]
Minor Faction ANNIHILATED! [Kuoh's "Grigori Affiliation Gambit" Team - No Survivors]: 2000xp [XP CAP HIT!]
Defeated High-Class Devil [Rias Gremory]: 2000xp [XP CAP HIT!]
Defeated Important Canon Character! [Rias Gremory]: 500xp
GAMBLER'S HIGH TRIGGERED! [1st Time]: 1500xp
Traveling Incursor! [Kyoto - Kuoh / Kuoh - Kyoto]: 200xp
14300 [XP] ⇒ 32200 [XP]
You've hit an XP CAP, limiting the XP you should've gained to your current level's XP CAP (2000xp). You shall be granted a number of Y$W$ as compensation, granting 1 Y$W$ for every 1 XP over the XP CAP.
As a reminder, 100 Y$W$ is the permanent Y$W$ CAP for every instance of compensation.
DIVINE Hustle! [100k+ USD]: 10,000,000xp → 100 Y$W$
Killed Stray Exorcists [43 - Members of the "Grigori Affiliation Gambit"]: 4300xp → 100 Y$W$
Killed Fallen Angel [Mittelt]: 3000xp → 100 Y$W$
Killed Fallen Angel [Dohnaseek]: 3800xp → 100 Y$W$
Killed Fallen Angel [Kalawarner]: 3800xp → 100 Y$W$
Minor Faction ANNIHILATED! [Kuoh's "Grigori Affiliation Gambit" Team - No Survivors]: 2500xp → 100 Y$W$
Defeated High-Class Devil [Rias Gremory]: 2100xp → 100 Y$W$
CURRENT BALANCE: 900 Y$W$
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'VE HIT LEVEL 6!
+1 SKILL POINTS
CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'VE HIT LEVEL 7!
+1 SKILL POINTS
CONGRATULATIONS, INCURSOR! It seems you've outdone yourself in today's Incursion and leveled up not once, but twice! What an overachiever!
Since you're such an eager sport, next level's XP requirement will be adjusted accordingly. Keep up the good work!
CHOOSE A NEW SKILL!
On the last level-up, [Going All In] was chosen.
As your growth continues, the [Cash Perfectionist] skill tree begins to form more branches, waiting to be developed…
Skills previously left unchosen have returned!
NOTE: Due to this being the first instance of having more than one skill point available at a time, take into consideration that choosing 1 skill from a specific branch (Ex: Tier 4 Skills [Going All In]) will lock the unchosen ones from being picked as that branch ascends to a higher tier.
[The Cash Perfectionist]:
Tier 4 Skills [Going All In] :
- [DOUBLING DOWN!]: Vastly amplifies the effects of [Going All In], both in the positive and negative effects.
* The state [Gambler's High] is replaced by [Ascension Millenium], which grants 1000 [Perfect Stacks], amplifies physical stats massively and prevents any [Perfect Stack] losses for two minutes.
* The state [Gambler's Shame] is replaced by [Death of A Gambler], which instantly removes any [Perfect Stacks] regardless from where they were received from, prevents any new [Perfect Stacks] from being created, and also lowers physical AND psychological stats massively (to the point where movement is impossible) for two minutes.
* Additionally, triggering any of these two states will now have PERMANENT consequences.
** Triggering any instance of [Ascension Millenium] will give a permanent +10 [Perfect Stacks] at all times, regardless if the user is in a hostile encounter or not. It will also give a small upgrade to all physical stats.
** Triggering any instance of [Death of A Gambler] will give a permanent LOSS of physical stats. It will also drain $1000 USD from the user's funds, which is an amount that will increase with every repeated instance of [Death of A Gambler].
- [Low-Stakes Gambling]: Reduces the risk required for a [Going All In] bet by a considerable amount, while also allowing for up to 2 [Betting Chips] to be created simultaneously. In turn, it greatly reduces the effects of [Gambler's High].
* [Gambler's High] will now only grant 300 [Perfect Stacks] and will also increase your physical stats only by a moderate amount. The [Perfect Stack] loss prevention is removed.
* [Gambler's Shame] remains unchanged.
- [This Is My Boomstick]: Replaces the state [Gambler's High] with [The Jackpot Boomstick], a legendary weapon that will be free to use as the wielder sees fit for sixty seconds.
* The [Betting Chip] will transform upon a successful [Bet] into [The Jackpot Boomstick], a bright crimson-red Multi-Weapon, capable of turning into whatever specific type of weapon its user desires.
* Handguns, shotguns, miniguns, assault rifles, RPGs, sniper rifles, even turrets or melee weapons, [The Jackpot Boomstick] will transform into whatever the user needs at * the moment, seamlessly transitioning from each form without delay.
* If the user wishes, it can also divide itself, allowing dual-wielding. Each hit, be it in the form of a bullet or a slash, will have the power of 777 [Perfect Stacks] within it. * Grants its wielder, if lacking, knowledge on how to wield any given of its forms to ensure a flawless usage.
* Has infinite ammo.
* [Gambler's Shame] remains unchanged.
Tier 4 Skills [Cash Perfectionist] (NEW BRANCHES!):
- [Money Kills] (RETURN!): Allows [Coin Flipper] to create [Coin Bullets].
* These bullets can be of any handgun caliber and their DMG depends on their cost when creating them.
* Coin Bullet DMG = Original DMG from Bullet Type + 1 Perfect Stack * (USD COST)
- [Greedy Grinner]: Strengthens [Stylish Twirling] into [Greedy Tricking] when choosing to invest at least 500 USD before starting it.
* Requires being in a hostile encounter to perform.
* Performing [Greedy Tricking] creates a visible golden aura around the user, alongside ominous clinking coin sounds.
* [Stylish Twirling]: 1 [Perfect Stack] per 5 seconds.
* X USD [Greedy Tricking]: X/10 [Perfect Stacks] per 5 seconds.
* Every time five seconds pass and [Perfect Stacks] are granted, the investment fee must be paid again. If you choose not to pay or don't have enough funds to afford the minimum 500 USD fee, [Greedy Tricking] ends and is replaced by a normal [Stylish Twirl].
* The current maximum investment fee is 10,000 USD.
[Smooth Criminal]: Enables [Styling] and the concept of [COOL]. Whenever you choose to [Style] against your opponent, 50 [Perfect Stacks] are created.
* To [Style] on someone, you must flawlessly perform an action that disrespects your foe(s) or shows your superiority.
* Striking a pose, adjusting a pair of dapper sunglasses, defeating someone stylishly, doing a dance move; anything that makes it clear to the opponent that you're PERFECT and FLAWLESS will award you with [Perfect Stacks].
* These actions must be performed flawlessly, too. Any missed step or stumble will not award [Perfect Stacks] and, instead, will return the [Stack] to 0.
* Repeating the same action will be considered [UNCOOL] and, in turn, will also get rid of your [Perfect Stacks].
[The Pyromancer]:
- [Basic Pyrokinesis]: Grants the ability [Pyrokinesis], making you able to generate a flame in your hand that can be expanded and controlled. It is limited to your hand and upon throwing the flame or dropping it, it will die.
{Gunman / Pyromancer}:
- [Actual Finger Gun]: Grants you the ability [Finger Gun], letting you use your hand to shoot fire bullets. The strength of the bullets will depend on the progress of the [Pyromancer] skill tree.
!
Due to fulfilling a specific requirement, you have unlocked a secret skill tree!
Have 25 [Humanity] within you while being un-hollowed - [25 / 25]
YOU HAVE UNLOCKED [The Undead Fanatic] SKILL TREE!
+1 SKILL POINT EXCLUSIVE TO THIS TREE.
[The Undead Fanatic]:
To be an Undead isn't a curse, it is a BLESSING. Anyone not branded with the Darksign is someone INFERIOR to the superior Undead. One life? PPFT! You have infinite. Any and all foes will fall before you… eventually. All it takes is getting good. After all, they have only one life, and you many. And you can feel it, don't you? The potential inside the Darksign… waiting to be let out...
The Undead Fanatic not only accepts their immortality, they embrace it fully. Immortality is such a rare commodity. To not take full advantage of it would be the height of stupidity. As such, The Undead Fanatic is unafraid of diverting resources from other aspects of themselves into developing their Undeath exclusively. And as they do, perks exclusive to those BLESSED with the Darksign start to awaken…
For discovering [The Undead Fanatic], you gain the following skill:
- [The Darksign]: Enables active use of the Darksign. All Souls and Humanity inside you will be permanently lost upon use, but you will reappear at the latest bonfire you rested at. Death on demand.
[The Undead Fanatic] Skills:
- [I-Frames]: Activates when rolling on the ground. Grants you the fabled [Invincibility Frames], frames of a second where you are completely UNTOUCHABLE by any sort of harm or attack. The slash of a sword will go through you harmlessly as long as it does so within the [I-Frames] of your roll. The amount of [I-Frames] you gain depend on how fast and smooth your roll is. [I-Frames] aren't granted at the start or end of a roll, only in the middle of it.
- [The Estus Flask]: Gives you the undead favorite, the [Estus Flask]. A dull green bottle that, when resting at a [Bonfire] (once per day), fills with its fire, providing you with a convenient source of healing on the go. The Estus Flask has enough capacity for 5 swigs from it.
- [Parry]: Gives you the ability to [Parry].
* Requires a Shield. Breaks the enemy stance when interrupting their melee attack with a [Parry] just as it's about to damage you, giving you ample time for a critical hit.
* Currently limited to human-sized foes.
* Works regardless of the strength of the hit.
And there, finally, ended the level-up page.
Holy shit, that was a lot of stuff. An overwhelming amount of stuff.
First off…
"¡HIJOS DE PUTAAAAAAAAAA!"
I screamed my frustrations out for the XP lost. Fucking 10 million XP. This got more and more ridiculous with how much XP I got stolen from me due to that goddamn cap. Was that fucking thing ever going to raise!? I should've been fucking invincible by now! Level one trillion and all that fucking jazz! One thousand mansions gained through the power of might and conquest and bullshit coins or whatever the fuck. ¡MIERDA!
After a few more seconds of screaming, I got myself together and, with one big sigh, decided to properly start this level-up business.
…What the fuck was I supposed to pick, exactly?
I had eleven fucking skills to choose from. Three from what was now being called the [Going All In] branch, which I was assuming were the path of skills I had been choosing all this time that began with [Coin Flipper]. After that were the other three that were being sold to me as 'new branches'.
If I had to guess, they were probably there so I stopped putting all of my skills into the hellhole that had become the path of skills I was choosing, littered to the brim with an overreliance on gambling shit.
The thought was appreciated.
Then were the other skills belonging to other 'skill trees'. The pyromancy stuff was, as always, easily ignored, because even if it seemed cool to have the capacity to turn on my cigarette with a flick of my fingers, it used up a whole skill point. More than that, I now had a cute fox-girl shaped lighter that did the same thing, so there was even less incentive.
And then there was the Darksign business…
"...Should I pretend that's not even there?"
Like, sure, without the Darksign I would've been nothing more than a smelly corpse somewhere in either Kuoh or Kyoto, but was it worth it to put points into it? I mean, I had the one free skill point given to me thanks to using 25 Humanity thingies before going to sleep, but still, developing the impending insanity didn't seem all that wise.
"Eh… either way, I need to choose at least one of those three at least."
Deciding to deal with that after, I scrolled back to the first set of skills, and began the extensive process of choosing a skill.
Sure, I had two skill points, so it should've been easier, but the problem was that, according to the text here, choosing one of the three skills in a given branch would lock out the rest. So, it wasn't easier at all at the end of the day. Great.
Instantly, I dismissed [DOUBLING DOWN!].
NO! There was NO FUCKING SHOT I was delving deeper into this gambling shithole I buried my skills into. No, I was NOT tempted by the fact [Gambler's Delight] was now called [Ascension Millenium] because it was VERY UNCOOL (verily) and I was absolutely UNTEMPTED by the permanent +10 [Perfect Stacks] at all times. No. Zero temptation. Nothing. Nada.
I could feel my will weaken every second I stared at the promise of BIG MONEY from [DOUBLING DOWN!], so for the sake of my sanity (and my heartbeat, which was starting to quicken) I scrolled down until I couldn't see the description anymore. Even then, I almost had to physically restrain my hand from selecting the skill by itself.
On the opposite end was [Low-Stakes Gambling], which instead of giving me more risks (sweet, sweet risks) it promised me a safer passage, to the point where I could potentially use the [Betting Chip] as an actual consistent tool of my arsenal instead of playing russian-roulette for the chance of being high out of my fucking mind. More than that, I could create 2 Chips at the same time, so I could even stack the [Gambler's High] if I wanted. It should've been a no-brainer…
However…
"This skill is so fucking lame."
NO [Perfect Stack] LOSS PREVENTION!? ONLY 300!? THAT'S NOT EVEN A SATISFYING NUMBER
LIKE 777!
Sure, it was consistent… but then what was the fucking point of picking [Going All In] to begin with, huh!? Just to lame out at the last second!? I SAID IT AT THE GODDAMN START, AND I WOULD SAY IT AGAIN AND AGAIN. I WOULD NOT BE FUCKING BORING WITH MY CHOICES!
Staring at the description of the skill filled me with such irrational anger that I almost physically abused the PC set again. I didn't, but more because my foot was already throbbing in pain after kicking the PC tower repeatedly more than anything.
I knew I needed to get a more reliable source of damage, but this was going too far in the other direction. I defeated Rias thanks to the absolute absurdity of [Gambler's High] and its infinite potential for [Perfect Stacks]. Using the diet version of that state wouldn't help me in the long run.
Deciding to move on from the LAME skill… I scrolled down to the one that was whispering sweet temptations the most out of the first three skills (ignoring that first one that DIDN'T TEMPT ME IN THE SLIGHTEST).
[This Is My Boomstick].
It sounded so fucking cool. A legendary shape-shifting weapon with infinite ammo? The skill description could've ended right then and there and it would've been enough. The fact that all the bullets would have 777 Stacks worth of DMG was good, too… the problem was that it seemed to get rid of the Stack Loss Prevention that [Gambler's High] had.
That loss prevention was absolutely fucking powerful. Absurdly so. To get rid of it was a tough ask. Technically, since every single bullet (or hit, but there was no shot I was using the legendary weapon for melee) had 777 Stacks added to them, it should've been fine, but there would be no building up from there…
Huh.
"...Holy shit, I'm actually stuck here."
For the first time, I was completely indecisive on what to take. I shook my head, there were still more skills to peruse through. Thus, I stopped looking at the [Going All In] branch and tried looking at the new three branches on offer.
[Money Kills], [Greedy Grinner], and [Smooth Criminal].
On instinct, I was instantly attracted to [Smooth Criminal]. My infatuation with a certain singer that may or may not have (ALLEGEDLY) diddled kids was more than evident by this point. The fact that I could get Stacks just by doing a move like good old MJ? It was thoroughly tempting.
Curiously enough in the description of the skill, it mentions 'enabling' [Cool] and [Style]... does that mean that there's potential skills related to them if I choose this skill? Now that I had a bit more of a handle on this whole skill tree business, I could make an educated guess and say that this 'branch' would develop into things related to those two concepts.
Was that why I was endlessly posing and dancing while I was on [Gambler's High]? Did I instinctively know of these concepts while high on ELYSIUM?
Other than that, was [Money Kills], which… yeah, it was good, I guessed. It seemed useful and all, and I could probably charge up a very mean fucking shot if I wanted at a moment's notice, since there didn't seem to be any sort of cap on how much money I could use for any one bullet. If I lacked Stacks, one serving of this would be a very good remedy for it.
…Hm, it was actually a bit tempting. An emergency shot that didn't depend on Stacks at all. If I ever fell to [Gambler's Shame], this would be a good counter to it.
After that was [Greedy Grinner], which…
…
"This is absolutely fucking ridiculous. Who the- ¿Quien chucha diseñó esta weá?"
I read the description over and over again, thinking that maybe I got something wrong. Once I confirmed that yes, whoever made this 'Incursor' bullshit was actually a complete idiot, I simply settled for staring flabbergasted (yes, flabbergasted) at the screen.
…It- It wasn't even hard to see what was the problem with this, right? If the maximum 'investment' was $10,000, then that meant the formula would be 10,000 / 10, which would mean that after five seconds of spinning my gun like a moron, I'd get, just like that, 1000 [Perfect Stacks].
And that was only if I decided to send my funds to eat shit. I could perfectly just spend around $5,000 (which was a crazy fucking thought considering less than a week ago I was sleeping and eating from the trash) and get 500 Stacks like it was no big deal.
Didn't… Didn't this skill just completely negate the appeal of [Going All In]? Sure, there was no Stack loss prevention and no physical enhancements, but simply having quick access to massive damage by spending cash seemed completely fucking ridiculous.
…Before choosing, I took another look at my current cash, back at the top of the page.
$215,473
Yeah, I could afford a thousand Stacks in case of emergencies.
There was no need to analyze the other skills. I would've been a fucking idiot if I didn't pick this one right now… although missing out on [Smooth Criminal] (and that lame gambling one that I didn't care about at all) hurt my soul. Even then, I knew that nothing could possibly beat a thousand Stacks on demand, even if it was pricey.
I had a shit-ton of money. Better spend it, yeah?
[Greedy Grinner]
CONFIRM?
[CONFIRM]
[CANCEL]
With a mournful farewell to the possibility of [Smooth Criminal], I clicked confirm.
You've picked [Greedy Grinner]!
A new branch emerges from this skill!
The Cash Perfectionist:
Tier 5 Skills [Greedy Grinner] :
- [?]: ? ?
- [?]: ? ? ?
- [?]: ? ? ? ?
Uh oh! It seems Tier 5 skills are a bit beyond your current level! Keep investing skill points elsewhere until your body can handle them!
TIER 5 SKILLS - LOCKED UNTIL REACHING LVL. 10.
or… fulfilling a special secret condition!
"...Huh?"
I frowned at the screen. What did you mean level 10? That was three more levels than I had now! WHAT THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW!? ALL THE OTHER SKILLS WERE NOW LOCK-
"Oh wait, they're still selectable."
I scrolled down and, just like before, the skills related to [Going All In] and the ones advertised as 'New Branches' were still free for me to choose…
…Was it because they were from a different 'branch', and therefore weren't locked when progressing to a different one?
This whole system seemed a bit confusing and, in my opinion, intentionally obtuse… Well, I could still pick [Smooth Criminal], so that was a bit of a relief, right?
Before I fell to my base desires and picked [Smooth Criminal] (or I fell to my basest desires and picked one of those dreaded gambling ones), I decided to give the ones not related to my main skill tree a look. Just for formality's sake.
Going past the [Pyromancy] ones, I decided to read the ones in [The Undead Fanatic] skill tree.
[The Darksign] was… a convenience, really. Not much else. I was grateful it came for free with the skill tree, because I'd probably pass it up if I had the chance. At least now I had a 'get out of jail' card if I ever felt like dying was more preferable than living for whatever reason.
As for the skills… They weren't bad at all, actually.
[I-Frames] and [Parry] were the ones that called out the most to me. By the way they were worded they seemed like an absolute way of avoiding damage. Especially those i-frame thingies. Completely invulnerable? Sure, it was for a few frames of a second… but maybe that'd be enough? Again, complete invulnerability wasn't something to scoff at.
[Parry] seemed like something similar, but it gave me a chance for a 'critical hit', whatever that meant. What interested me was the absolute certainty in the description. It WOULD break their stance, and it WOULD work regardless of the strength behind the hit.
Considering that most of my skills relied on building an ever shifting Stack of damage that could easily crumple into ashes at the slightest stumble, having something that worked 100% of the time sounded very nice to me.
Then was the [Estus Flask] which sounded good enough, but considering that most of the people I've had to kill in this DxD hellhole could obliterate me in one hit, the option of healing myself didn't seem that smart. I wouldn't even have the chance of doing that.
…Hm…
Considering I had one free skill point to waste in this thing… I ended up choosing [Parry].
There were two reasons.
One: The [I-Frames] relied on how good I could roll on the ground, and even though I could practice… I didn't have much trust in my athleticism. I wasn't even out-of-shape or anything, considering my cool new muscles, it's just that unlike my Strength, I didn't have a convenient stat to upgrade using Souls, which meant that rolling was entirely on me.
My entire fucking way of dealing with supernatural bullshit relied on Sharpest Shooter hitting where I wanted. I didn't even aim by myself, how the fuck was I supposed to now ROLL for my life?
In contrast, [Parry] seemed to be an action in the same way [Stylish Twirl] worked. I could 'activate' it, instead of the skill triggering after I performed a certain action by myself without aid. This gave it an edge against the [I-Frames.]
Second: The 'breaking stance' thing seemed pretty convenient. If it was as absolute as the text implied, I could potentially do a [Parry] and follow it up with a free headshot. Win win.
There were some problems with [Parry], however. It was limited to melee attacks (which weren't common so far) and required some form of shield. Regardless, I found it was better than the I-Frames and having to roll like a moron.
Thus, I picked [Parry] and confirmed my choice.
You've picked [Parry]!
The Darksign strengthens…
A new branch emerges from this skill!
[The Undead Fanatic]:
Tier 2 Skills [Parry]:
- [Return to Sender]:Allows you to parry projectiles, letting you redirect them wherever you need while leaving you unharmed.
* The redirection maintains the momentum of the projectile.
* Max. projectile size is equal to 2 times your size.
* Does not break the stance of the shooter.
-[Not Gud Enough]: Greatly loosens the timing window for a successful [Parry], while lowering the rewards from it.
* A [Parry] will ensure you remain unharmed and redirect the enemy's attack, but their posture won't break and you won't get a free 'critical hit'.
- [Giant-Slayer]: Increases the maximum size of an attacker for a successful [Parry].
* Maximum size is now 3 times a normal human.
* All previous benefits and limits of [Parry] apply.
…Jesus Christ this was never going to end.
My patience for this level-up shit was rapidly thinning. I was sleepy, almost hungover, thirsty, hungry, and the text just kept fucking going holy shit.
Fucking- Okay, shit, that [Return To Sender] one sounded useful, actually. It covered up the one weakness of [Parry].
…It was either this or [Smooth Criminal]. I refused to keep investing in the gambling bullshit, no matter how potentially powerful it could be.
I did some quick math in my head. [Smooth Criminal] gave 50 Stacks for doing MJ bits in the middle of a fight… However, it also added the risk factor of losing all my Stacks if I was too lame.
…Hnngh, FUCK!
I… I already picked a skill that increased my DMG exponentially with [Greedy Grinner]. I didn't… I didn't…
A piece of my heart broke as the realization struck.
I didn't need [Smooth Criminal].
If I picked it, it would also develop into a branch with locked out Tier 5 Skills, which meant that I'd have to start investing somewhere else again. On all aspects, it wasn't wise in the slightest to put points into [Smooth Criminal].
It was somewhat useless, all things considered.
…O- Okay, good. I could admit that to myself. Nice. Very nice. I had grown, at the end of the day. Now I could pick the perfect addition to my defense to ensure my livelihood with [Return To Sender]. I'd have a way to defend myself against those goddamn light spears.
It… It was all good.
…
…A- All good.
…
Oh por la mierda-
[Smooth Criminal]
CONFIRM?
[CONFIRM]
[CANCEL]
I smashed the mouse button with my fist, furiously clicking the CONFIRM button.
THIS WAS MY AFTERLIFE, GODDAMMIT! I WANTED TO MOVE LIKE FUCKING MJ AND NO GODDAMN PARRY WOULD STOP ME!
As soon as I clicked confirm, I could suddenly feel an awareness. An odd awareness, but it was like suddenly gaining a bit of a sixth sense.
[Cool]. I could sense it… and it was dormant, for now.
However, the second that I decided to [Style], I knew that the [Cool] would awaken and start judging me.
The second I started to [Style], all of my actions would be under The [Cool]'s watchful eye. One uncool or lame move from me, and I could say goodbye to all of my [Perfect Stacks].
As the screen in front of me began to (slowly) load my character page, I took the time to stand up from my seat, stretch for a little bit… and [Style].
I did something simple, just to test. I looked at the great void of nothing blackness beyond me… and snapped my fingers while pointing a finger towards it, doing a very stylish pose.
STYLED!
Cool!
+50 Stacks
Of course, since I wasn't in a hostile encounter, the fifty stacks instantly evaporated.
…Huh, it was almost like when I lit a bonfire. Somehow, the message imprinted itself inside my mind. Maybe it worked like radio waves or something…?
Just to test, I snapped my fingers again and repeated the pose.
STYLED!
Lame! No repeating!
I could instantly feel that I fucked up. Like whenever I missed a shot, I felt it in my soul that I had been unperfect, and as such, any [Perfect Stacks] I'd managed to scrounge together would be now taken from me.
Again, since I didn't have any, it's not like anything really happened, but I could feel it in the same way you can clench your butthole. It was like a muscle. I knew that my [Stacks] were taken from me.
…Well, that's that.
I returned to the PC screen, not bothering to sit down this time and simply glancing at the shitty screen.
Name: Daniel García, [the Cash Hobo.]
Level : Level 7 [Cash Perfectionist] Undead Gunman.
XP: 32200 XP
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Skill List:
- [Perfect Shots]
- [Perfect Stacks]
- [Stylish Twirl]
- [Coin Flipper]
- [Coin Stacker]
- [Going All In]
- [Greedy Grinner] (NEW!)
- [The Darksign] (NEW!)
- [Parry] (NEW!)
- [Smooth Criminal] (NEW!)
Perk List:
- Eyes Everywhere
- Sharpest Shooter
Trait List:
- Darksign
Conditions:
- Undead (Darksign)
My picture had once again been updated. My face was neutral as was usual with these magic picture things, but my messy black hair was now swept back, my stubble looked more full than last level-up's picture, and I was wearing my agent suit, jacket open and tie loose as always. I looked quite cool, actually.
…Hm, not bad, yeah? Certainly a major fucking upgrade considering my first day in DxD.
DAY-END SUMMARY DREAM CLOSING…
…
DREAM CLOSED.
SWEET DREAMS, INCURSOR!
And I got kicked back to sleep.
The smell of coffee was the first thing that graced my senses… then, of course, since I got the tiniest bit of awareness, I couldn't stop the sleepiness from going away, and thus Eyes Everywhere's omniscience kicked into full gear yet again.
AAAAAAAHHHHHH!
Although I was getting used to it, I couldn't help but wince and tense as the endless stream of images began getting poured into my brain once again and again and again and again from every angle, every nook and cranny, every space, every thing, every where, every-
Oh, there we go. All good now. Like regaining balance on a bike, my omniscience suddenly stabilized into a manageable form. This entire process took about five seconds, but it somehow felt longer.
And once the process was over and I had full control of Eyes Everywhere…
HEAVEN GRACED MY EYES.
A LOVELY BOTTOM, HUGGED BY HOMELY BLACK SHORTS, WITH A WHITE TAIL PEEKING OUT FROM THE HEM. HER LITHE FRAME, COVERED BY A VERY CASUAL WHITE T-SHIRT. OH DEAR LORD, THE FOX-EARS! THE SLIPPERS! THE LEGS! EVERYTHING…!
Kaede turned around from the kitchen countertop, sensing me stir on the couch, and frowned.
"Are you awake?"
"Nope."
A cute tired sigh came from her as she rubbed her forehead in pain.
"Please get up quickly so I can kick you out of here."
I groaned slightly as I sat up on the couch, wearing only the shirt and pants from yesterday. My jacket and tie were draped over the backrest. I glanced at Kaede from my impromptu bedding and smirked lazily.
"You don't get to talk to me like that when you told me to stay here."
"Yes," she replied unamused. "Because you said you were going to sleep by a dumpster otherwise."
I waved away her words with a hand.
"Details, details. What matters is that you offered and I accepted. How rude would it be if you kicked me out now?"
Kaede rolled her eyes and gave me her back, her focus returning to the countertop, where a water heater and an expensive-looking jar of instant coffee was. In front of her, a black mug with a steaming cup of coffee, black. There were numerous kitchen knick-knacks on the counter, perfectly ordered and looking pristine.
"What is rude is inviting someone for drinks on a week-day," she said matter-of-factly, rising the cup to her lips and sipping. "This might be surprising to you, but I work."
Stretching in place, I shrugged.
"Someone's grumpy. Let me guess, hangover?"
I said the last bit a bit louder, making Kaede wince in response, her fox-ears twitching as she did (cute). She tilted her head back and fixed me with a death glare.
"Shut. Up. I mean it."
I raised my hands in surrender. "Okay, okay."
Still, I did look at her with a pointed finger. "You did accept the invitations for drinks, however."
She stopped glaring at me and returned her focus to the cup of coffee with narrowed eyes.
"...Yes, I did."
Kaede's face showed a lot of frustration about that. Clearly, she also wanted those feelings to be private since she wasn't facing me.
Instead of taking the opportunity to admire her lovely backside in shorts (E.E was already on that), I stopped bumming around her couch and started fixing my clothes, standing up. Idly, I glanced in front of me as I began putting my tie back on, where a large pair of windows was, showing the early-morning view of the city, night lights still shining brightly as the hints of the coming sun began to show on the almost black sky…
The city stretched on and on from the view of this orderly apartment…
It was… a delightful view, really. One I never had the chance of getting while alive. Properly alive. One I couldn't even dream of having then, one I never even imagined was capable of existing other than what the TV would show me a glimpse of…
…
…
"Did you forget your tie somewhere? You've been frozen for at least ten seconds."
Kaede's (pretty) voice snapped me back to reality, my body tensing. Goddamit, I was getting a bit emotional there. Taking a deep breath and shaking my head, I resumed fixing myself up.
"It's nothing," I replied. "Just wonderin' how's it feel to be drunk for the first time again. You know, because of-"
"Shut it," was her instant reply, her hand still rubbing her forehead.
After a few more moments of silence where the only sounds were of me fixing my clothes, Kaede started frowning at her cup. Her face went through some sort of unfortunate sequence of events until finally, she turned back towards me and hesitantly added.
"Do you want some coffee?"
The whole internal conflict was, of course, cute, as were all things she did.
"Please," I replied, finally fixing my tie and shirt buttons. "What time is it, exactly?"
Kaede glanced somewhere outside of E.E's radius before saying "5:10".
I paused, then turned towards her and frowned.
"...Wait, that's late, right? That Yokai fuck who needed to train me came to bother me at 5:45, on the dot."
"Entry time is, for all general purposes, six A.M. Since we just completed an operation, our responsibilities fall under the 'general purposes' category, so we have exactly fifty minutes before we're officially late."
"Oh," I let out. Then shrugged. "Well, that's plenty of time."
Considering myself proper enough, I walked towards Kaede, hands in my pockets. "So, where are the cups?"
One minute later, I was standing right next to Kaede by the countertop, my own steaming cup of joe in my hands… with added sugar and milk.
"I didn't take you for the cappuccino type."
"Coffee is a foul fucking thing, Kaede," I smoothly replied, closing my eyes in bliss and taking a sip of the sugary beverage. "I don't know how you can drink it black."
Kaede turned her head to me and raised an eyebrow. Since our heights were pretty similar, her questioning stare was pretty level.
"You can't possibly be saying that after the foulness you drank and smoked yesterday."
Tilting my head to her, I frowned.
"I don't follow."
"You-" she interrupted herself and gave me an unbelieving look. "This is the limit? You drank all of that by itself and smoked almost an entire pack of cigarettes and this is your limit? Black coffee?"
I was actually starting to feel pretty judged as I raised my cup for another sip.
"I like coffee like this…"
Kaede sighed before finishing her cup with one last drink. The foul black liquid done for, she left her cup by the counter and walked away from the kitchen into her room.
"After you're done just leave the cup by the sink."
"Aye," was my simple reply, and Kaede disappeared into her room… well, I could still see her very easily thanks to E.E, but for once I did something half-way decent and, finishing up my own cup, I decided to wait for her outside her apartment. Outside of E.E's 12 meter range.
I didn't want to feel like a creep. Kaede had already done me a huge favor by letting me sleep on her couch (saving me from having to get acquaintanced with the dumpster yet again), to repay that by shamelessly ogling her while she changed would've absolutely made me worthy of thirty stonings. Not that doing so without the favor would've been any better.
…Hey, didn't you already ogle her?
No, no, this was different. One thing is simply appreciating the view when it's in front of me. The other is fucking spying on her while she changed and showered. I knew I was many things, and that I had in some occasions used E.E for similar nefarious purposes… but I had my limits.
Thus, I picked my jacket from the couch and put it on, grabbed my backpack filled with guns that was by the coffee table in the living room, went to the front door where my shoes were waiting for me (goddamn Japanese culture) and exited the apartment. Once out, I began moving across the hallway until Kaede's bedroom was out of my range.
Kaede's privacy now secured, I leaned against the white walls of the hallway… and waited.
Idly, I looked around the place, taking in the pristine and clean space. It looked really expensive, all things considered. Kaede's apartment was so much bigger compared to the one I used to live in before I got kicked out. This building must've been on the costly side of things.
The size of the building was also much, much higher. Twenty floors, maybe? I couldn't precisely remember the number on the elevator, but it was in the double digits. The comparison between this building and the five-story apartment complex I used to call home (which was an overstatement because that place was an actual health hazard) was almost comical.
It probably helped that Kaede's place wasn't populated by violent drunks and criminals. Thanks, Dad.
The itch telling me to smoke yet another cigarette began hitting me, but I ignored it for once. It didn't take a genius to guess that smoking was probably prohibited here, and the last thing I wanted was to get Kaede in trouble for something I did.
So, all I could do was wait. I had the urge to take out one of my guns and spin it around for funsies, but it'd probably have a worse reception than the cigarettes if someone saw me. All options considered, the last resort was resorted to.
From my pocket, I took out my shitty flip-phone and, professionally snapping it open, I started up 'Snake' and idled the time away.
Ten minutes later, Kaede came out of her apartment, dressed once again in a sharp black suit, not a strand out of place, with a professional-looking shoulder bag of the same color. The bag was filled with various notebooks, documents and papers (all written in inscrutable Japanese).
She looked freshened up and her neck-length stark white hair looked rather fluffy. Her white fox-ears and tail were tucked inside of her, invisible to the human eye.
With a light groan of effort, I snapped my phone shut, pocketed it, and walked towards Kaede.
"So," I began. "What exactly do you do when you're not assisting in murder?"
Kaede narrowed her eyes on me, then looked me up and down in a very judgy way.
"Are you going with your clothes from yesterday?"
"...Yes?" I replied unsurely. "I mean, I could wash them, but with what little time I got…"
"Do-" Kaede interrupted herself, choosing her words. "Did Yasaka not give you another suit?"
I thought back to my first day at work (killing those two Strays) and what happened when I got back to report.
"I did get another one," I began replying, giving Kaede a hesitant gaze. "But it's back at the headquarters hotel or whatever its name is."
"The Blessed Spring," corrected Kaede. She sighed in exasperation, beginning to walk towards the elevator at the end of the hallway. "So, you're living in the hotel, then? It makes sense for your situation. Your clothes should've been cleaned by the staff, then."
"Oh, no," I said while following her, realizing that perhaps my state of livelihood wasn't included in whatever info she had on me. "They're just holding my stuff. I'm currently sleeping on the streets."
Kaede stopped on her tracks (almost making me crash against her) and she turned around to face me, incredulity clear on her face.
"You're what?"
"Sleeping on the streets," I repeated, confused at her reaction. "Homeless, as some people like to call it. I- Did you think what I said last night was a bit? I really was going to go take a nap in that alleyway before you stopped me."
"I thought you just were too drunk to return home alone and needed an excuse to stay somewhere, not that you were quite literally going to sleep by a dumpster."
"Whoa, okay, first off," I began, raising a pointed finger towards her. "You were the one who was too drunk to come home alone. I remember having to move you away from an incoming light pole, Kaede."
"Shut up."
"Second," I continued. "I've been in Kyoto for, like, three days? Everything's been happening really quick, honestly. I don't think I even got a chance to think about somewhere to stay, let alone the money for doing so"
Kaede gave me a last look of incredulity before, yet again, sighing. She turned around and continued walking, me following behind.
"I don't think you need to hear this, but I'll do so regardless. Stop sleeping on the streets."
"What, worried?"
"Don't start," she said warningly.
Reaching the elevator doors, she pressed the call button.
"I know you were in a very precarious economic situation until very recently," continued Kaede as we waited, glancing at me. "But considering that you're currently employed and just got paid for yesterday's operation, you don't have excuses anymore. Find a place."
A funny idea went through my mind, and I opened my mouth to voice it.
"Don't even think of crashing at my place again," warned Kaede, sensing the look in my eyes.
I pouted comically instead.
Frankly, the matter of where I'd sleep at the end of the day hadn't crossed my mind much. I had gotten used to sleeping on the streets, sadly enough.
"I'll try seeing about that," I replied noncommittally. "I still don't know how long I'll stay in Kyoto, so I don't feel all that comfortable renting a place or something."
At that, the elevator doors opened. As we both stepped in, Kaede gave me a small look.
"What do you mean by that?"
Kaede pressed the '1' button and the elevator doors closed. I lightly yawned into the palm of my hand.
"Well," I started after my yawn, facing the doors. "The contract with Yasaka was very loosey with its duration. I don't know the exact specifics of it because, you know, Japanese illiteracy and all that, but I can at any moment after a one-week period request the termination of my contract and that'd be that."
Her face remained pretty neutral as I explained my circumstances, but a small frown crossed her face.
"Oh," she let out. "That's… very unusual."
"Yup," I let out, glancing at her. "But it's going along well for now, I think."
I paused for a second, then actually began considering my own words.
Did I really want to stay here in Kyoto any longer?
Like sure, I got to do a job that got me a ridiculous amount of XP and Souls (which I have yet to redeem), and it more importantly gave me a shit load of money… but this WAS my afterlife. Did I really want to spend my afterlife just working for someone else?
It was convenient for sure, but I was no fucking dummy. This was how these corporate nutjobs got you. I had heard tales from business men that fell to a crippling gambling addiction and found themselves sleeping in homeless shelters alongside me: You signed up for just a bit of money, then the company started giving you benefits and pay raises and promotions, and then POOF, thirty years passed.
Of course, that tale didn't mention the crippling gambling addiction, but it seemed to be true enough.
Was I really a hustler if I just… turned up for work every day of the week at 6 AM like I was doing now? Was that really what I fucking wanted after dying?
No.
Every cell in my body rejected the idea, even as money was so easily earned now. It was completely irrational, yet I knew it in my bones. Having to answer at someone else's call wasn't something I wanted to do for a living,
As the elevator descended, I broke the silence.
"I… think that after I complete this mandatory week thing, I'll start traveling again," I relayed to Kaede. It was weird, having someone I could even tell this stuff to. "The suit is nice, but I'm starting to think it's not my groove."
Kaede remained stony-faced as I told her this. For some reason, she tensed just a tiny bit.
Without even looking at me, she started talking.
"Do you have a plan?"
The tone of her voice was pretty controlled, too. I replied with a shrug.
"Well, not exactly, but yesterday's gig got me a shit-ton of spending cash. Much more money than I've ever had in my life, too."
I looked at Kaede and smirked. "I've been subsisting for about 20 years with a budget of zero dollars, imagine what I can do now, eh?"
Instead of replying with a joke or a jab or whatever the hell, Kaede kept staring at the elevator doors, face stony.
"I think you're being impulsive," she said, finally. "You were, days ago, homeless. Why would you even want to return to that?"
"I'd be a rich homeless person."
"Do you know just how fast you'd run out of the money you just got? I'm not saying this condescendingly either, because I'm starting to realize you were much poorer than I could've imagined."
My brow furrowed at Kaede's rebuttals. "You know, I expected some 'good for you' or 'please quit sooner' comments, not this. What's with you?"
Kaede sighed as the elevator doors opened, both of us stepping out to the apartment complex lobby. Like much of the building, it was clean, spacious, and looked very professional.
"You're being hasty," she replied, heading to the door leading to the streets. "Just two days of working and right back into being jobless and homeless? You cannot be serious."
Well, when she put it like that, I sounded stupid.
I followed behind her, rolling my shoulders and adjusting my backpack. "So, what do you suggest then? Let me tell you: A lifetime contract with Yasaka is the last thing I want."
Out onto the sidewalk, Kaede paused, considering. She briefly bit her lip a bit, and a familiar look of frustration crossed her features before she finally looked at me.
"Work here for a half-a-year," was her reply, at which I widened my eyes in surprise. She followed it up, not stopping for breath. "That should be plenty of time to get some sort of savings going and would also give you some perspective into the supernatural that you clearly lack. It would also have a good look in your resumé if you decide to search for work in the supernatural again, and could also let you get recommended by Yasaka if you need it after such a period. That much time would also let you have access to resources so you can make a more informed choice if you ever decide to travel again. Even more than that, it would let you get stronger and develop your abilities. On the other end of things, it would also let you-"
For no reason at all, a surge of affection for Kaede washed over me. Genuine affection. I met her for a fucking day and yet, for some reason, she was telling me to work for at least six months in this place with a detailed lists of benefits for why I should do so. After a certain point of her rambles, her gaze wandered to the side in what seemed to be embarrassment, probably realizing that she was going on for too long, yet still keeping her mouth moving.
Cute.
I couldn't help it. A small laugh came out from me unbidden, interrupting her talk about health coverage.
Kaede flushed in embarrassment at my interruption, glaring fiercely.
"You- Why are you laughing? Did I-? Shut up."
"It's- It's nothing," I corrected, a genuine smile on my face, for once. "I just wasn't expecting you to care about me single bit, really. I was running with the assumption this was one-sided on my end."
"You're speaking nonsense," quickly refuted Kaede, still glaring, her flush subsiding. "You just began speaking of your plan—which didn't exist—and felt the need of fixing that mess. Stop reading into things with a coworker of one day."
I rolled my eyes and reached for my pockets, taking out my cigarette pack.
"Yeah, yeah, you say that last bit all the time, even as we drink ourselves silly and I have to hold you as we walk to your place."
As I cruelly reminded her of yesterday's happening, I smirked at her, taking out a cigarette and perching it in my lips.
"Isn't it time, Kaede dear, to admit it to yourself? It's a bit devastating, but you know it deep down, right? We hit it off majestically."
I shrugged. "It's not that terrible of a fate, really. Am I that bad that the mere thought of us being friends is repulsive to you? I'm crushed."
Kaede gave me a complicated look at my read. Seeing that she wasn't going to answer, I sighed.
"It's fine, I know you have problems with that sort of stuff—don't give me that look, it's obvious—so, instead of discussing it, like a pair of dweebs, why don't you just light my cigarette up so we can head to work?"
Again, giving her an easy out, I pointed to my cig. Kaede still gave me a complicated look.
"...Are you going to at least think about working for six months?"
I raised an eyebrow. She really cared about that, for some reason.
"Does a month work?"
"Daniel", she stressed. "I'm-"
She stopped herself, shaking her head. Her gaze lowered.
"I… I can't waste my time with something that will just... I just can't."
My eyes widened at the sudden sincerity, entirely unexpected coming from her. Faced with that, I had no option but to actually consider her offer.
Honestly, it seemed like a bit of a drag, six entire months of working… However, I had properly listened to her extensive explanation as to why it was a good idea and, as far as I could parse, she wasn't wrong. It was a matter of pride and will, more than anything… but this was my afterlife. I had plenty of time. An entire lifetime's worth.
There was no need to rush into the next fun thing, right? The fun places in Japan and the rest of the world would still be there for me to explore later, and with better funding.
There was an issue, though. I knew that, at some point, this Incursor bullshit would rear its head and send me somewhere else. It was inevitable. The entire thing was built, for some ungodly fucking reason, into the premise of traveling to different worlds.
I didn't know when exactly the moment would come for me to hop to another dimension and start this entire song and dance again, so spending what could be time exploring this world by working didn't seem that good of an idea.
…Still, even though I was raised terribly, I could tell that the 'six months' thing mattered to Kaede. For what reason, I couldn't tell, but my response to it would definitely make an impact.
…
…God fucking dammit. Take notes, people. This is what happened when some hapless asshole finally got the chance to properly flirt with a woman. A proper woman, too.
I sighed, then gave Kaede a resigned smile.
"I… well, I think I'll try doing it for six months? It can't be that bad."
The smile that bloomed on Kaede's face was small, understated, yet absolutely genuine and pleased. Perfect.
"That's…" Kaede seemed to catch herself smiling, as she tried to smoothly clear her throat, fixing her expression back into something resembling neutrality. "That's good. It never hurts to be careful when planning, and I'm sure Lady Yasaka will appreciate your efforts."
Noticing my lone unlit cigarette in my mouth, Kaede (yet again) sighed. "Do you not get tired of that horrible habit?"
Still, she snapped her fingers, and the end of my cig got lit. Kaede refused to look at me any longer and began walking down the busy streets. "Well, follow. If you don't, I'm sure you'll get lost like some kind of headless chicken considering how you can't even read."
With a shrug I, of course, followed, not minding her comments. Unbeknownst to her, as I followed and all my eyes could see was her back, E.E spotted that same, small smile on her face.
Finally, after reading the last line of text in the report, Yasaka dropped the document into the desk, a breath of relief coming to her.
"And that'd be that," she said, glancing up at both Kaede and I, standing at attention in front of her desk. Yasaka was dressed in her office attire, which for whatever reason showed a copious amount of cleavage. Her nine golden fox-tails were splayed out behind her freely in a mesmerizing display.
"So," she started. "Anything else you both might want to add to this report?"
We both remained silent. Seeing that we didn't have anything to add, she crossed her hands over her luxurious desk.
"Well then, Fujiwara, Husk, I think that with that we can finally put a lid on that operation. However, some feedback."
She pointed a finger at Kaede.
"Fujiwara, next time try making a better effort at denying the request of the enemy. The fact you let the Gremory heiress follow you for those extermination missions almost made the entire operation fail. I expect better from someone tasked with being the negotiator."
The bit of criticism made Kaede's right eye twitch just so.
"...Noted."
Yasaka sighed at her response, motioning with a hand.
"You clearly have something to say. Out with it."
"The only reason such a happening occurred was due to Agent Husk's decision to shoot one of the familiars from the Gremory heiress' peerage. Due to eliminating their means of surveillance so violently, there were no grounds to diplomatically deny the heiress without escalating."
As Kaede mercilessly threw me under the bus, I gave her a small glare, making sure to still stand at attention. Yasaka gave me a look.
"Husk, anything to add to that?"
"First off, can I point out how rude that was? You don't throw your pal to the pit just to try and avoid criticism. Very naughty, Kaede."
Kaede glared back at me. Yasaka, on her part, nodded.
"I agree, very naughty, Fujiwara."
The pressed look on Kaede's face was priceless.
"Second," I continued. "The decision to shoot the bird WAS encouraged by Kaede herself. We both found it annoying, and so WE decided that it'd be best to shoot it. We even made a bet for it. Did you know Kaede had to smoke a cigarette for it?"
Yasaka glanced at Kaede. "Oh, did you now?"
Kaede thinned her lips. "I… yes, I did."
"Very naughty," repeated Yasaka. "And also, a cigarette? I didn't take you for that kind of girl, Fujiwara. Make sure to stop encouraging your partner in performing clearly dangerous stunts so you don't threaten the state of the operation, okay?"
The revised criticism was clearly worse than the original one. Kaede had to force the words out of her mouth as her eye, again, twitched. This time more visibly.
"Noted."
"Good. As for Husk…"
Yasaka sighed. Uh oh.
"Where do I even begin?" Yasaka tapped the desk rhythmically. "You need to stop antagonizing everyone you meet that isn't a cute girl like Fujiwara."
At that comment, I could feel a slight note of embarrassment on Kaede.
"Absolutely everyone in that operation was antagonized," continued Yasaka. "Although I know part of your mission was indeed making a display of power representing the Yokai, I'm also not stupid and know that you more often than not resort to instant insults and name-calling whenever someone just looks at you funny. Just here in this hotel you've managed to somehow make everyone that's talked with you aside from Fujiwara absolutely angered."
I raised my hand. Yasaka nodded.
"In my defence of the relationship with my co-workers: they were all dicks first."
"Uh-huh. Next time you're tasked with dealing with co-workers that aren't Fujiwara, please try to keep things civil at least until the mission's over. I have no need for an uncooperative agent. Isn't it better if the end-report shows only one person being one of those instead of two?"
I nodded. "Noted."
"Aside from that, there's the issue of the Gremory heiress. Since you weren't tasked with diplomacy, I won't comment on letting the heiress stick along. However, I will comment on the fact you entered a fight against her. Not only that, you mutilated her."
Yasaka rubbed her forehead slightly. "That alone has gotten me some very heated calls from her brother, which isn't counting the massive disrespect that was the operation itself. You're lucky you have my full backing in that, because otherwise the easier and more preferable option would've been to walk you down the metaphorical gallows."
"Oh," I let out. "So… I'm fine on that end?"
I was actually getting rather worried about the consequences. Yasaka didn't ease those worries with her frown.
"Not exactly. I've managed to talk him down from forcing your immediate dismissal from my service, which would probably be followed by some sort of punishment he'd deal using some agent of his own. However, there is a future operation that is taking into account your presence in it, and in that operation Sirzechs will make an appearance."
Yasaka's frown deepened.
"I don't think you'll be smited on the spot, especially since the cold war state of affairs is tense enough as it is, but simply being in the presence of a Satan who doesn't like you in the slightest will be… heavy, to say the least. You should expect some form of retaliation in that operation… but that's for later."
Her face cleared and returned to a more relaxed visage.
"Anyway, returning to the feedback: Don't start fights with figures with ample political power. No, I don't care that it was 'inevitable' and that fighting her was your best option. That situation shouldn't have even happened in the first place, so don't get yourself into similar situations ever again."
Again, I nodded. "Noted."
Yasaka leaned back on her chair. "Then that'd be that. One last thing. Husk, I'll need you to confirm if you'll stay in Kyoto for at least another month. Although your contract has loose stipulations for your stay, it still needs you to notify me when you will jump away to do whatever it is you do, and the current operation I have in mind requires your presence in it."
She crossed her arms, pushing up her massive breasts as she did the motion.
"Will you stay here another month?"
At her question, Kaede glanced at me, the same kind of sincere worry in her eyes. I had no clue what was the deal with that, but I knew that my answer mattered a lot to her, for some reason.
Whatever, I had already made up my mind.
"Actually, I was thinking of staying around here for six months, if that'd be okay? "
Yasaka's eyes widened in surprise. Instantly, her eyes traveled to Kaede, then back to me, then back to her.
"...I paired you two up expecting some mildly good results, but it seems you both hit it off real well, huh? Just one day and look at both of you. Looks like I still got that matchmaker in me."
Kaede's pleased smile from me confirming I was staying for at least half-a-year turned into a fierce glare directed solely at Yasaka.
"Ah, there we go. Classic Fujiwara, always so adorable. Anyway, Husk, are you sure about this? I'll remind you there are consequences to breaking the contract. If you confirm six months, then you'll need a very good reason to suddenly break off."
I nodded without hesitation. "Yeah, I'm sure. Gonna give this work thing a try."
"Great then, now with that said." Yasaka clapped her hands loudly, once. "Meeting's over. Fujiwara, return to your post at security. Husk, since this is your first day of non-mission work, due to the stipulations of your contract, you're free until further notice. Make sure to keep your phone on at all times and to be at least within a thirty-minute walking distance of the hotel until 6 PM."
She produced a white document from her desk.
"However, if you wish to work like every other agent for the day, you simply need to sign this and you will be slotted in somewhere within The Blessed Spring and remunerated accordingly after."
Looking at the document from her, I shook my head.
"Not today, at least. Since I'll be staying for a good while, I'm gonna need to find a place to stay."
"...Did you sleep on the streets again?"
"Oh, no, this time I-"
Kaede cleared her throat very loudly.
"Well, if you'll excuse us, Lady Yasaka. We have taken enough of your time."
Glaring fiercely to silence me, she turned around and walked outside Yasaka's office. I shrugged towards Yasaka, who had watched amused the interaction.
"What can you do, gotta go and all that."
"I'm surprised she's opened up to you, Husk," said Yasaka, out of nowhere. "She has good reasons to be reserved, you know?"
At that, I looked at her confused. Instead of elaborating and actually clearing things up (like a good person) she shooed me away with a hand.
"Come on, I have things to do. Out of my office."
With that odd comment from her, I did as asked and exited her office, out into the opulent hallway that led to the elevator. Waiting by it was Kaede, standing primly, who looked at me neutrally.
"So," she started. "You'll be staying those six months."
I nodded. "Yup. Six whole months. What a bother, huh?"
Kaede didn't comment, looking at the elevator doors with an emotionless face.
"..."
After some more silence (which I happily let drag on, because I enjoyed seeing her stew in her own thoughts), she seemed to find the right words as she breathed out a sigh, probably meant to sound exasperated.
"At 12:30 PM I have my lunch break, and I will take it in the Blessed Spring's cafeteria." She turned to glare, as if daring me to tease her. "Do with that information as you will."
Feeling merciful, knowing that it probably took a lot out of her to even say that, I pulled out my phone.
"So, gonna give me your number or do I have to beg for it?"
By the time I finally exited the hotel, I had a visible pep in my step, a smile so pleased it probably pissed people off, and my work phone had one more number in its contacts.
"Cuando me enamoro~ A veces desespero cuando me enamoro~ Cuando menos me lo espero me enamoro~"
Now, finally free after quite a while, having committed myself to six months of staying in Kyoto… It was finally time.
I was going to look for somewhere to rent and stay. YES, RENT.
IT WAS TIME TO FINALLY END MY HOMELESSNESS.
After twelve miserable years, having been kicked out of my home at eight years old by that FUCKER, I would FINALLY start sleeping under a roof that wasn't shared by thirty other strangers. I would finally, FINALLY wake up to my lonesome and see a perfectly peaceful home…
Hobo No Longer.
"Se detiene el tiempo~ Me viene el alma al cuerpo~ Sonrío… cuando me enamoro~"
Determined, I went to the first newspaper I could find dropped on the floor by the plaza near the hotel (don't judge me) and opened it up to the advert section. I had plenty of money and that would cover AT LEAST two months, right?
I read the advert section.
It was all written in inscrutable Japanese.
…God fucking dammit.
My search for home got delayed until 12:30.
AN: Hi, hello. Yes, it's weird right? An update? Unbelievable, truly.
This chapter was VERY leaning on the Kaede interactions, so I'm sorry if you prefer interactions with canon characters. There needed to be a chapter of cooldown after the 4-part chapter where 40+ people died. Just as a warning: there will be a minor time skip in next chapter. Very minor, No levels will be gained and it will simply be for the sake of getting things moving along. I already write in excruciating detail, there is no need to detail something like busywork for our protagonist.
I thank everyone who bothers reviewing the story and giving me their thoughts. I am quite literally writing this story only for your amusement, so if you got amused by my story or have any sort of feedback, let me know. I BEG OF YOU JUST TELL ME IF IT'S YAY OR NAY, AT LEAST! I UNDERSTAND BEING SHY WITH THE OPINIONS BUT JUST SPIT THEM AT ME, GODDAMIT! SAY IF IT'S SHIT OR NOT! COME ON, FACE ME ASSHOLE
And that's all I got.
Thanks for reading.