Chapter 38 - Year 5, part 9

December 20th, 1995

Hermione walked into Arithmancy like any other Wednesday, the door closing softly behind her as she walked to her seat with Theo and Draco.

The room was silent, which in itself wouldn't be completely out of the ordinary. Of course, there would be the normal buzzing of table mates talking in hushed voices, giggling behind hands and excited conversations. This class had too many of the students become somewhat of a safe space for unlikely friendships. It was a room where she knew she could sit with two Slytherins, and no one would bat an eye for it or talk to anyone else about it.

It was an unwritten rule that she loved.

But she didn't love the complete silence. The whole castle had been like this ever since the news of the cancelled Christmas Holiday. People were homesick, now more than ever, and students were seeking more and more towards close friends or family who were still attending the school.

She, for example, had spent the entire evening before, with William. They hadn't done anything exceptional - simply sat at the Hufflepuff table in the Great Hall with each their homework, exchanging snacks, comments and jokes, between talks of what they were working on at that moment. At some point Neville and Ginny joined them, and then Max and Cedric. It was nice and comfortable, but it wasn't relaxing at home on the carpet of one of their rooms, reading comics and smelling Christmas food being prepared downstairs by their parents.

She missed her mum and dad. A lot.

But there was one upside to it all; she would be spending Christmas with Draco at Hogwarts.

Reaching her seat she sat down beside Draco, his hand under the table instantly reaching out for hers. She grasped it with both hands and rested them in her lap. He can't be that mad if he's reaching for me the second, I sit down. She thought to herself with an internal breath of relief.
Soon enough the class started and Theo eventually left them for a younger Ravenclaw, when they had to pair up for assignments.

Between question 5 and 6, Draco suddenly lowered his voice; "When did you plan on telling me?"

She had prepared for his question, for his anger. His disappointment. She had prepared. But she didn't know what to tell him, that wouldn't make him sad anyway. No matter what she said to him, this wasn't going to be a win-win situation for her.

Not that she needed it to be a win-win - she just wanted it to be over.

"I wasn't intentionally hiding it from you Draco. I just didn't think it was necessary since you couldn't…"

"-Couldn't what?" He bristled, obviously not happy with what she was saying. She didn't blame him.

"Join." she whispered with a defeated sigh. "Being Slytherins, there's a very likely chance that if any of you joined, everyone else - not my friends - would leave."

That obviously wasn't what he had anticipated her saying, as he looked at her completely dumbstruck, before it turned to anger. "So, what? You're just going to let us fend for ourselves while you're in your own little club?" He sneered in a voice so low she didn't thank she had ever heard it's like.

"No, that's not -" She tried, but he stood so abruptly it made her flinch involuntarily. Then he went to their professors table where he put down his assignment, then grabbed his bag while she tried to grab his hand - and failed - and then left the room.

She didn't bother looking after him as he left, she knew she couldn't say anything to make him stay. She simply sat in her chair in silence, until class ended and then left.

…

December 23rd, 1995

Hermione appreciated everything Narcissa Malfoy did for her, but an outer cloak with embedded warming charms and a Cashmere scarf and hat were definitely right there at the top. She appreciated them even more, as she walked huddled up close to Ginny, as they strolled outside on the outskirts of the forbidden forest and the lake. It was so silent out here, that all they could hear were their breathings, the snow crunching under their boots and a few peeps from the birds that hadn't drawn south for the harsh winter.

On normal occasions, one would talk about the silence before the storm, but this seemed to be the one afterwards. It had snowed heavily the last couple of days with temperature far below freezing and winds so hard they made it impossible to be outside. even the halls of the castle had been so cold it was outright uncomfortable to walk around without a heavy cloak on one's shoulders. She knew McGonagall had tried forcing Hagrid and Fang to stay inside the castle until the storm had settled, but he had been adamant at staying in his cottage. When she and Ginny passed the cottage a while ago, smoke was billowing from the chimney and Fang was running around the snow like there was no tomorrow.

When she was certain there was no one listening in on their conversation, she said; "So, I think I found a way to solve the issue with Draco."

"Finally - you've been in a right mood these last few days." Ginny groaned loudly.

Hermione was very much aware of her mood, but since she didn't have a way to fix her issues, she didn't have a way to fix her mood either. They both sucked, and she hated it. Just like she hated people walking on eggshells around her.

"I was thinking of asking Harry if he might teach them as well. I mean; outside of the ADC."

They walked in silence for a while, where none of them spoke.

"I know he would love to, but I don't think he'd be up for it right now. With the pressure of figuring out what's going on in potions and Snape teaching him Occlumency - and that's not even taking his dreams into account. Or Umbridge for that matter. I think it would simply be too much for him." She sighed.

"You're right, of course, I shouldn't even have thought about it." She felt so bad. She hadn't even taken into account how much he was struggling right now. What kind of a friend was she even?

"Don't get me wrong, the idea is brilliant!" Ginny exclaimed and turned slightly towards Hermione as they walked, "He's really enjoying doing the ADC, and I don't think it would be an issue to him. But, I, personally, would think he'd be pushing it too far. You'll have to talk to him about it."

Hermione nodded in agreement and they continued their walk without another word about Draco or the ADC.

Just before lunch they arrived by the doors that lead to the entrance hall. Here, they stumped their feet and brushed off their cloaks to get rid of any excess snow. With flushed cheeks and big smiles, they walked in and almost collided with Pansy and Zabini as they rushed across the hall to get from the dungeons to the Great Hall.

"Ugh, watch where you're going! I don't want to get mud on my new cloak!" Zabini sneered at her as he seemed to dust off his cloak. Pansy, by his side, giggling in absolute delight.

Dear Merlin, was this what it had come to at this point? Her and Zabini? Hermione made a mental face of disgust.

That girl once had so much potential to be an amazing human being.

"Should have just stayed with Krum. At least he knew how to treat you the way you deserve." She laughed, haughtily.

She might as well have slapped Hermione. At least that was what it felt like, when she saw red and stepped forward, directly into the Slytherin's face. "That's what you think? You think I deserved to be stalked? Deserved how he tried to manipulate me and get in my pants for months? Deserves to be pushed against a wall and have him force himself on me - again? Huh? That I should just go back to him so that he can, what? Break me again? Like I'm another one of his fucking promises?" Behind her, she heard Ginny move closer, but neither Zabini nor Pansy moved a muscle. "No, I won't be doing that. I may be a fool, but I'm not stupid. Now fuck off, before I break your face as a brilliant Christmas present to myself."

Pansy didn't move for a couple of seconds, but then her face changed to one of utter hatred. She barely opened her mouth, but Hermione didn't let her.

SLAP!

"Ms. Granger! Detention!" was yelled, and Hermione twisted her body slightly to look beyond Zabini to see Umbridge on the stairs, with an all too happy look on her face. Then she noticed how many students had stopped to watch, as they headed to lunch.

Ignoring Pansy who was now crying loudly, with her head held high and with a stinging hand herself, she walked around the two and past a group of Slytherins. It was a deliberate decision, when she ignored the existence of the boy with platinum blond hair, in the middle of the group. She also ignored Umbridge as she passed her on the stairs, even as the bitch loudly proclaimed that Hermione should be at Umbridge's office at noon, tomorrow.

She didn't even care at this point. She couldn't have Christmas with her parents, and since Draco was angry with her, she didn't plan on celebrating it with him either. She might as well have detention anyway; it wasn't a loss at this point.

…

December 24th, 1995

"What are you doing?" Harry said as he dumped down into the seat beside her.

"Homework. I don't expect for the Magenta Monster to only give me detention for one day, so I might as well prepare." She answered matter of factly, as she scratched out one answer and replaced it with another more correct one. She didn't feel bad for what she had done, and she knew that she absolutely deserved the detention that she was given - but she also knew that whatever punishment she would be given, also wouldn't be fair.

"But it's Christmas, Hermione." Harry pouted.

"Is it really, Harry? We're forced to stay here, we're banned from going to Hogsmeade, our post is being ransacked as we speak and the Christmas Feast has been dulled down to an ordinary dinner. Even those hideous Christmas sweaters that always seem to emerge every December have been banned. It's a damn sweater, Harry! It might be Christmas, but it sure as hell doesn't feel like it." She said angrily and ended up splashing ink on her parchment as she tried to dot an i.

Harry sat silently by her side as she angrily finished her essay and took out the next one; an essay about the properties and uses of the Invigoration Draught. She nearly vomited just from the thought of it.

With a hard sigh, he picked up the essay she had just finished and started reading through it. Commenting every now and then if there was a spelling-error or she needed to add something before handing in the finished piece.

They sat like that for at least an hour, before Hermione finally decided to broach a topic they had been walking around for a long time. What kind of a friend was she?

"How are you, Harry? Truely."

He was silent for so long, Hermione started wondering if he had even heard her in the first place. The room was quite busy on this Christmas Saturday and people were in rapid conversations around them.

"Not good, Hermione. I'm not… good." He sighed, and as she put down her quill and turned to him, she saw him roughly drag his hand down his face. "Umbridge is really being a pain in the arse, but those damn nightmares are keeping me awake at night and Dumbledore won't take me seriously - even with McGonagall at my side. They feel like more than just nightmares, they feel so… real. Like, it feels like I'm standing right there in front of him, but then I wake up dripping with sweat in my bed. I swear I've never taken so many showers in my life, but I can't even be proud about that part in my letters because it won't just be mum and dad reading it. It'll be everyone else as well."

He looked so haggard. She had suspected that he didn't sleep well with those bags under his eyes, but hearing him confirming it didn't make it any less heart wrenching. At this point, unfortunately, she didn't know what else she could do except be there for him when he needed it - even when he didn't know that he did.

She squeezed his knee in sympathy. "Everyone else's mail is being ransacked as well, I'm afraid. Well, mine is at least." she knew that he knew, but if it made him feel better, that he wasn't the only one? She'd say it a thousand times over. With a sigh, she stood and collected her papers. "I need to go, Harry. I'll see you at dinner?"

He stood and gave her a quick hug, his eyes sad as they met hers for an instant. "I'll save you a seat."

She nodded, hoisting her bag over her shoulder, and trudged out the portraithole. When she arrived at Umbridge's office a short while later, it was with an air of indifference.

Everything can go to bloody hell.

She rapped on the door and it opened instantly. It was like the toad had been waiting for her, just beyond the door. The thought had the hairs at the back of her neck standing on edge.

"Ms. Granger - how lovely of you to join me on this fine Christmas." She said, again with that sickly sweet voice.

Hermione didn't give her an answer but simply stood in the doorway, waiting to be invited inside. There were few places in the world she wanted to be less than here, but alas, here she was.

"Now, Ms. Granger, come take your seat. Today, you will be doing lines."

No surprise there. Hermione thought to herself as she went and sat down, picking up a quill from her bag.

"You know the line already. Would you like something to drink before we start?" Hermione looked up at the woman, who in turn looked like this was the best day of her entire existence. Like there was nowhere in the entire world she would rather be.

"No, thank you." Hermione answered curtly. She wanted nothing to do with anything that could ever be given to her from the foul woman's hands. That included anything that could one way or another go into her body.

Who knew what she had put in it?

"I'll just put it right here, in case you change your mind." She said sweetly - her voice almost taking a sort of motherly tone? - and placed a steaming cup of tea on a saucer, at the corner of Hermione's table.

"Begin." Umbridge giggled in a hushed tone, before sitting softly at her own desk, sipping her own cup of tea. It was almost like the woman herself believed that she was made of porcelain, and needed to be treated thereafter. Yuck.

Several hours later after having written her stupid line over and over, came a rapid knock on the door. She didn't dare to remove her eyes from the parchment in front of her, seeing as she had already been reprimanded several times for doing so, but she hoped intently that the school had somehow caught fire and she would finally be let loose.

She wasn't so lucky.

Umbridge stood and answered the door with a soft, "Ah, just the man I was waiting for. Come in, come in."

The answering; "Ma'am." Made the hairs at the back of her neck stand on end once again. What on earth was filch doing here? And why had Umbridge been waiting for him?

The caretaker had been very verbal about what he had wanted to do to any unruly kids on this school, for years, and how he had tried talking the headmaster and now Umbridge, into letting him torture the students into submission. "I'll let you hang from your wrist until your body starts rotting!" More than one student had heard him sneering over the last couple of months.

"Thank you, Argus, you know what to do." She said in her overly joyous voice, and exited the room; leaving Hermione alone with the angry caretaker.

She was prepared for anything as she grabbed her wand and placed her arm like it was simply resting on the top of her thighs, against her lower stomach. She wasn't sufficient in left-hand-casting by any means, but it was either that or the alternative - and she would be prepared.

She slowly restarted writing her lines, but her entire focus was on the squib.

Ten lines or so later, he finally went in front of her. Here, he plucked one of Umbridge's nasty kitten plates from the wall and started polishing it with some cloth from his inner pocket. If he believed that they would actually get cleaner from his particular attention on the cat in the middle, Hermione didn't know, and she didn't plan on asking him.

Hermione didn't know how long she had been there. Her stomach had long since started growling angrily at her, but she hadn't been given anything other than the still-steaming cup of tea that remained untouched at the corner of her table. She couldn't see a watch anywhere within her peripheral but her guess was that dinner must have long since finished. At one point, she had asked to use the loo, but Umbridge had merely 'tutted' at her, flicked her wand, and Hermione no longer had the need.

She didn't know of any spells that could relieve oneself of any sort of biological need, like pee or hunger, but apparently Umbridge did. If Hermione didn't know any better, she would have believed that Umbridge was intent on keeping her forever.

But Hermione knew better - despite what her writing from the last several hours said.

Filch continued his polishing, but it wasn't long - maybe an hour or so? - before the door opened and Umbridge reappeared.

"Ms. Granger, you may leave. I'll be seeing you again tomorrow at noon."

Hermione had been right; there was no chance in hell that the bitch would let her off with just one detention-session. "Yes, Professor." Hermione muttered angrily, while she shoved her things into her back and left the office.

As soon as the door slicked shut behind her, it was like she could finally breathe again. As she turned in the direction of her Common room, she hurdled her cloak around her shoulders to fend off the harsh December-cold that resided in the castle halls. Passing by a window, she noticed how it was pitch-black outside - which also explained the lack of students in the halls and the sconces on the wall that only emitted enough lighting for one to see where they walked. It must be terribly late.

When she finally made it into Gryffindor-tower, her friends were sitting by the fire, waiting for her.

"Hermione! Finally!" Harry exclaimed and rushed to her, throwing his arms around her shoulders. "What happened? You've been there for hours!"

"Just… lines." Hermione said tiredly as she extracted herself from her best friend, and dumped herself in an armchair. On the table in front of her, Neville placed an enormous sandwich. She eyed it, then him, as if it was the simple most magnificent thing she had ever seen. She was so hungry, but hadn't even thought about how she would get her hands on anything. She just thought she would be going to bed hungry. "You guys are the best friends a girl could ever wish for. Thank you."