I am super sorry that I keep editing this story, but I just keep finding mistakes which bug me loads, this is a rewrite of the second chapter (hope its not too bad). Enjoy this!! As much as you can!
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DISCLAIMER- I don't own Supernatural or the characters, only my phone and the plot
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-Chapter 2-
Dean has made his way towards the library with two bottles of Jack Daniel's in his hands, he thinks that one won't be close enough to numb him but probably get him sorta drunk maybe, he still hasn't seen Sammy or heard him so he's still asleep, which is a good thing in Dean's mind, he thinks that he doesn't need help to get back Cas, he needs to do this himself. Walking towards one of the chairs closest to him and puts the two bottles in his left arm cradling them, then lifting his right arm to pull out the chair, the pain pulsing through him. He sucks his teeth through his movements, swearing in his mind finally he has the chair out for him to slump on to it. Putting one of the bottles on the table with the other one in his hand.
'I need to find a way to get Cas back, because this time he is really gone' Dean hates that word, the word he used when he had to tell Jack and Sam where Cas was, every time he hears it or says it to himself, the emptiness in him grows a bit because he knows it true, Cas is really gone.
'He's gone gone gone GONE GONE…. AND GUESS WHO'S FAULT IT WAS! MY FAULT HA EVERYTHING IS MY FUCKING FAULT!'
Dean shakes his head to calm himself, sighing he opens the bottle that he kept in his hand, with the other one sitting in front of him the logo staring at him. Dean rises the bottle putting the mouth of the bottle to his, he begins to chug the brown golden liquid down his throat with a burning sensation, settling in his stomach warmly, after a moment he takes the bottle away from his lips letting out a gasp, looking at the bottle to see how much he drank, it was about a quarter of the bottle but he doesn't feel the numbing sensation in his fingers yet, looking towards the other bottle he thinks even two bottles won't be enough.
'Shit… I might need more'
Putting the bottle down on the table then launching himself up from the chair letting a moan of pain escape his mouth, he needs to focus, drinking can wait for a moment.
'Get Cas back, I need Cas, get Cas, get Cas, get Cas'
Getting out of his chair and walking towards one of the bookshelfs, scanning the shelves for any book that looks remotely about the Empty or any book that he hasn't read, which is practically all of them, he has been researching for the past 3 weeks not leaving the bunker because he needs to save Cas, just researching on the Empty going through every book, every website that he finds but of course nothing. He picks out about 3 books from that bookshelf then moves on to the next one, picking out 2 books from that other bookshelf.
'Right I have nearly went through every book in this library and crap on the Empty, fucking nothing, why the fuck isn't there ANYTHING, WHY CANT I HELP WITHOUT FUCKING UP ANYTHING, LIKE HOW I FUCKED UP WITH CAS'
Dean starts to wipe away the tears, he has been crying so much that he questions how he still has tears coming, he hasn't cried this much since his Dad died, he has been hiding the fact that he has been crying from Sam but he's probably noticed with his eyes being red. Going through all the bookshelves in the library lost in his thoughts, balancing about 8 books in his arms and pushing them into his chest which is killing him, in fact the pain got worse that he drop one but he just couldn't be bothered to pick back up, walking towards the table and dumping the books down, all of them going down with a hard thud. Dean made sure that the books are close enough to grab when sitting.
When he does sit, he has to take a second, his vision starts to blur and the pain getting much worse making his entire shoulder feel abnormally heavy and hot, putting his elbows on the armrest of the chair and rubbing his fingers on his temples, his palms closely hovering near his eyes his, he turns his head to look to his side where the bandages are.
'Son of a bitch…'
He sees crimson seeping through the bandages fuck it, it can wait, Cas first, he just says to himself it's true it can wait he deserve this. Moving his hands out of his face to scan the books in front of him. Grabbing the first one that's closest to him, also using his other free hand to grab the quarter empty bottle, putting the book down observing it while opening the bottle, the book has a dark reddish brown hard cover with weird golden symbols and golden angel wings on it.
'This could have something..right?'
He thinks while taking a swig of whiskey, the liquid burning the back of his throat then down his oesophagus, pulling the bottle away from his lips and opening the hard cover book.
2 hour later
Sam starts to feel a wet, rough feeling on his face, what the? Peaking one eye open and starts to see a big, curly, blonde creature lick his face out, opening both eyes fully he sees Miracle licking his face.
"Well morning to you Miracle"
Sam says while chuckling, petting Miracle on the head Miracle likes to do this when he's sleeping in his room, Sam starts to sit up until his back is leaning on his bed's backboard he turns his head to his bedside table eyeing the clock, 6:47 AM. Turning his head back around to Miracle who has jump off his bed and is clawing at the door whining to get out.
'He probably needs the bathroom'
Sam knows this because when Dean was in Purgatory a long time ago he had to look after a dog so he knows the basics, speaking of Dean he only patched him up 3 hours ago he needs to check on him and the wound. Moving his lanky legs off the bed and rubbing his eyes to get the sleep out, going over to his closet and grabbing a long sleeve shirt, putting that on he moves his hand to his head lifting his hand through the mop of hair that he has, it's cold in the bunker so he grabs socks and puts them on too, Miracle gets impatient moving towards Sam's legs and rubbing against them, Sam just smiles patting the side of Miracle's stomach.
"Okay okay can you wait I need to do something is that okay?"
Sam says his voice cracking in the process, Miracle just sits down agreeing to what Sam just said, Sam goes to his desk and pulls his chair out. Sitting down he puts his elbows on his thighs, puts his hands together and closes his eyes.
'Hey Jack, just checking in but I need to talk to you… about Dean, he's different ever since he told us that Cas is gone whatever that means he hasn't told me, I know that you are broken up about Cas being 'gone' he was like a father to you and I know Dean not that close to you but you need to know that he's not okay, he's not talking anymore not even to me…. or eating properly or even caring for himself like he hasn't shaved in the past 3 weeks. I don't think he's sleeping by the shadows under his eyes and I think that he's been crying lately by the puffy redness around his eyes. I look into his eyes and I don't see 'Dean' anymore just a shallow person who is tired of everything. He just spends all his time in the library or in his room, drinking into oblivion I find him passed out in the library covered with bottles, about 5 max which is killing him...' Sam feels the tears forming but he keeps going 'And I thought maybe going on a case might help but he nearly got himself killed and even on the way there he didn't even drive, just staring out the window not talking, I thought you needed to know this but again you are still dealing with Cas being 'gone' same with me, I hope you doing better and running Heaven smoothly I will pray to you tomorrow. Amen.'
Opening his eyes and letting them readjust from the bedside lump that he has on which is laminating half of his room, getting up from his chair, rubbing the tears that have fallen. Walking towards his door, he opens the door an inch before Miracle bolts out the door making door swing open, the scuttling paws going down the hall. Going towards Dean's room because he needs to check on him plus if the wound needs to be cleaned again, but before he gets to Dean's room he notices that Dean's door is open, confused Sam pops his head in.
"Dean?"
Sam says quietly if Dean is still asleep, moving his hand to find the light switch even with the hall light Dean's room is still pitch black, after moving his hand across the wall flipping on the light switch, Sam locks his head to Dean's bed, his eyes readjusting but there no one in the bed, he isn't there.
"Dean?!"
Panic starts to fill Sam up, Dean isn't there Sam basically runs to Dean's bed knocking over a few bottles but Sam doesn't care, his brother is missing from his bed with an bad injury. Looking at the messy bed Sam bolts out the room calling for Dean.
"Dean! where are you?!"
"DEAN!"
10 minutes before
Dean is about to grab a new book from the table since the other 5 books didn't have crap on the Empty wasting the past hour, 2 hours? He doesn't know, sighing for the millionth time today, lifting up his right arm to grab the other book but this time he lifts it too fast making a sharp hot pain spreads all over his shoulder, a bit of the pain going up his neck.
'Crap'
He feeling the pain he guesses that the rest of the stitching has broke, making the wound reopen. Putting his arm down immediately and turning his head to his shoulder, and of course he's correct, new bits of blood starts to spread across the bandages making the dark patches appear brighter, even some blood trickling down his armpit, it can wait, it can wait Dean repeats, he knows it can wait he's had worse before, way worse.
'It can wait, first Cas… I need to find Cas, I need to do something without destroying it..'
There is one problem though, he's craving a drink, he has already drank both of the bottles and there is still no numbness, nothing.. not even in his fingertips and he's sorta drunk which isn't good enough. The emptiness in his stomach has been growing bit by bit and without the alcohol to numb it, the feeling might eat him whole, putting his left elbow on the table then rising his hand to let his head rest on it, his fingers crossing over his eyes, wondering to himself.
'I need Cas, need him, I need to save him, Cas oh man if you can hear me please come back I know we don't have are 'profound bond' or whatever but please come back, I need you man, crap I just need to hear you, see you, hold you, but now… I fucking can't, is it me? Is it my fault? It was always my fault Cas.. ITS ALL MY FAULT YOU LEFT FOR NOTHING! IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME!'
While saying this to himself, he has moved his hand to his forehead, resting his palm on it and using his fingers to grip the front on his spiky hair. He can feel the tears overfill his vision, Dean shuts his eyes just to hold them back but fails again letting them fall down his face then falling on to his lap leaving a tear stains.
Dean hears something, its sounds like tiny little taps echoing in the hall, Dean immediately recognises it. Its Miracle's paws tapping off the floor, Dean takes his hand away from his face rubbing his eyes to get rid of the tears, turning his head to look at the library entrance, and he sees a middle size curly blonde haired dog running up to him, Miracle does give him some comfort but it's very very little but he appreciates it.
'If Miracle is up then Sam definitely is up'
Dean realises, Miracle who has ran up to where Dean is and started to whinge while pushing his wet nose through the armrest of the chair into Dean's sweat pants, Dean puts on a weak smile and lifts his other hand to pet Miracle rubbing Miracle's fluffy head.
"Hiya..."
Dean speaks in a rough whisper, so low that he couldn't hear himself. He stares Miracle for a moment before moving his hand back to his side, Dean tries to lift himself off the chair, but suddenly his body starts to feel heavy and his vision is blurring, when did it get so hot in this room? He's sweating even without a shirt or socks on, he's really warm.
After a moment he is standing, seeing black spots dance around his vision he knows what's gonna happen next.
'Oh crap not now please not now'
Pushing his chair back putting his right hand on the chair beside him to hold him, he is breathing heavily through his nose and mouth, and he hears ringing in both of his ears as well as some muffled voice, he knows it's muffled but he can recognise it, it sounds like Sam calling him, he doesn't know, using the last of his energy to make himself speak.
"Sammy..?"
Sam hears a weak voice call back from all his screaming, it sounds like Dean oh thank god, sprinting towards the Dean's voice the problem is that Dean sounds soo weak, finally he's made it to the library entrance which felt like forever to get to, locking eyes with Dean who is in the centre of the room, standing beside a chair with one hand holding on to it, leaning into it. Dean doesn't have his shirt on only in his sweat pants which Sam left him in but Sam is more worried about the bandages that he wrapped Dean in are now bloody with some bits of blood going down his armpit.
"Hey Dean are you okay?"
Sam slowly starts to walk towards Dean with a concerned face, getting a closer look at Dean, Sam looks at Dean's pale face trying to make eye contact but Dean isn't looking at him only looking at the floor, Sam can hear Dean's heavy breathing Sam knows what's happening.
"Dean can you look at me please? Are you going to faint?"
Dean can't hold it anymore giving into the blackness, his knees start to unbuckle, Sam starts to run towards Dean to catch him, hugging Dean's face to his chest, Miracle started to bark but Sam tells him to stop.
"I got ya, I got ya Dean don't worry, your okay, your okay"
Trying to lift Dean heavy body, Sam has moved Dean's head onto his shoulder, Sam turns Dean around with his head falling backwards onto his chest then Sam wraps his arms underneath Dean's armpits, trying to causes as little pain as possible. Turning his head over his shoulder then starts to walk backwards dragging Dean, Sam keeps dragging him until they both get to Dean's room.
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Thats chapter 2 finished! Hope yous enjoyed this, you probably can't tell that I rewrote this chapter but I think its better, again I don't know because I suck in my opinion, chapter 3 coming soon!!