Chapter 4: Brave New World

The Bunker's elevator doors opened revealing Oliver hunched over the Hub's computer terminal. Even though he knew he should be, Diggle wasn't surprised to find the city's mayor clearly shirking his public responsibilities in favor of taking initial steps in Thea's case at 10 am on a Monday morning.

Digg called out, "Felicity know you're here?" Digg's voice caught Oliver off guard as he jerked at the sound. Wild eyes rose from the computer terminal to meet Digg's. Oliver had to be off his game if he hadn't noted the opening elevator doors announcing Diggle's presence.

Oliver looked back down and answered, "No."

Digg took measured steps towards the terminal and quickly mounted the stairs. He peered over Oliver's shoulder to see browsers open on nearly every monitor with information about Tim Phillips' arrest and trial in Central City. Just the briefest glance at the face of the man who had so grievously hurt Thea was enough to set Digg's blood boiling. If he had the son of a bitch in front of him right now –

But right now wasn't about that. Right now was about trying to be the impulse control for his best friend and brother sitting in front of him.

"Is this your plan?" Digg queried, making sure his voice stayed even and unimpressed. "Ditch your responsibilities as the mayor of this city in favor of sneaking around during the day? Just to keep it from your wife?"

"No, that's not the plan," Oliver said sharply, annoyed. He looked up at Digg with a darkened expression. "I tried to go to work. And Lance was there, and Alex. And the morning briefing was something so inane, and I … I had to leave. I couldn't just sit there and not do something."

Digg understood and dropped heavily into an office chair next to Oliver. Oliver spun around to look at Digg intently. "You told me the night I found out, that we would protect the city for one night and then we would make a plan." He stopped, as if trying to read Digg's thoughts. "A plan to kill every one of them."

Digg nodded slowly, deliberately. Yes, he had made that promise. He would make it over again today. And frankly, when he had told Lyla about Thea's history and diagnosis over the weekend, Lyla had made it abundantly clear that she supported him in whatever he had to do, so he didn't even have to hide what he was feeling or what he was planning to do to make it right.

"I'm calling on you to make good on that promise."

"Damn, Oliver," Digg said in a low voice, pressing and rubbing a knuckle against his forehead. "You don't have to use my promise to trap me. I'm in. I want to kill these bastards every bit as much as you do."

"I'm not sure you do," Oliver muttered, the heat in his words not aimed at Digg. Digg had to agree there – no matter how much fury Digg could conjure up when he thought of Thea's childhood torment, he was certain it was a pale imitation of Oliver's.

"I am in on your plan, Oliver, but I also know that we can't do this – this investigating while you should be acting as the city's mayor."

"They don't even miss me," Oliver groused. "Sometimes I think my team does all the hard work and I'm just the figurehead."

"That wasn't true last week," Digg noted. "You made some hardline calls and got city council to investigate shady shell-corporations in the Glades. That wasn't you as a figurehead – that was you." Digg leaned forward, hoping Oliver was listening to him. "I get that you're reeling right now, and it makes sense. And maybe you need to take some time off to get your head back in the right place. But there is still a city out there that needs Oliver Queen. You're doing good out there. This can't be the thing that makes all that stop."

"Honestly, John," Oliver said. "Nothing else matters right now. Thea's sick. I spent all day yesterday tracking down clinics to treat her and they won't take her without her calling herself. It feels like there's a clock somewhere that's ticking down while this disease is just festering, unchecked! Meanwhile, these sadistic brutes are out there living their lives like they haven't just sentenced my sister to death!"

"Does Felicity know? What you're planning?"

"I told her."

"And what did she say?"

"Nothing." Digg cocked his head, urging Oliver to continue. "I think she's torn. She doesn't want Thea to have to take these guys to court any more than I do, but I don't think she's ready to commit to being assassins."

"You and I can hold our own when it comes to a lot of things, but we are going to need Felicity's help if we want to find these guys."

Oliver said rigidly, "Oh, I've been known to track down an animal or two on my own."

"I'm just saying – even if we can't get her on board to help, we can't keep sneaking behind her back. Doing this during hours she's at work isn't enough."

Oliver nodded curtly, "I'll take that under advisement."

Digg nodded back, accepting that that subject was closed. "So where are we on getting the names of these pigs?"

Oliver leaned back in his chair and explained, "The only people who have the list are Thea, Lance, and Cisco."

"Any other way we can get info on these guys without the list?"

"Thea kept journals on -" Oliver's expression contorted, "every perpetrator. There's two books: I saw them on Friday, but she took them with her. Then there's Phillips."

Digg grimaced. "You're talking about a guy with absolutely no incentive to tell us about these guys. He's locked up on child pornography charges, not trafficking. There's no way he gives up these guys and adds more years to his own sentence."

"He's the last one to be checked off the list," Oliver noted. "I want him to hear about the guys he served her up to falling one at a time, knowing the same thing is coming for him. Iron Heights' bars won't be enough to save him."

"So we agree that getting names through Phillips is a last resort?"

"Sure," Oliver agreed darkly.

Digg noted, "That leaves us with the list or the journals. I have a feeling that Thea isn't going to be eager to hand over either."

"Asking Thea is off the table," Oliver said quickly. "We leave her out of this."

Digg paused at the intensity of Oliver's words. "Oliver, it has occurred to you that Thea's going to notice when bodies start dropping?" Oliver looked away. "Look, I'm all in, but – are you going to be able to live with what this vendetta is going to do to your relationship with your sister?"

Oliver looked deep in thought. Then he said, "If it prevents her from giving up her own life pursuing some mirage of justice, then it will be worth it. Even if she never talks to me again."

"Okay," Digg nodded. "So what's our play?"

"I take our request to Cisco." Oliver paused and then said, ominously, "And I ask nicely this time."

The motion activated bell made a pleasant dinging sound announcing a visitor. Thea took an extra moment to finish her review of a chair and table request for the Fall Soiree before glancing up at the entrance of Queen's Jubilee. She was surprised to see Laurel standing there, as poised and stable appearing as she had been on Friday at Felicity's dinner party. But something had changed since Friday. Quentin had texted Thea Sunday afternoon to confirm he had spoken with Laurel.

Thea's stomach twisted. After her conversation with Ollie and Felicity at the Loft Sunday morning, Thea had tucked herself up in her apartment for the remainder of the weekend. She had moped around, filling her brain and belly with junk – non-stop TV show binging and ramen noodles with an egg or two cracked in to pretend there was something redeeming in each bowl. She had ignored texts and missed calls from her friends. At this point she wasn't sure who had even reached out – she still hadn't looked over them before coming to work this morning.

Looking at Laurel as she stood framed by the large front windows, there would be no way to tell something had shifted between them. As long as Thea had known Laurel, Laurel had been able to school her expressions. The same was true now – if Thea didn't already know that Laurel knew, she would have been unable to guess.

"Hey, Lance!" Sin called out pleasantly from her desk, hopping up from her seat to greet Laurel. "Long time, no see! What brings you around here?"

Laurel gave Sin a pleasant if somewhat staid smile. "It's good to see you, Sin." Laurel's eyes drifted back to where Thea had yet to move from behind her desk. "I actually came to see if I could take Thea to lunch."

Thea truly didn't know if she was ready to spend one-on-one time with Laurel. Thea's heart-to-heart conversation with Felicity on Saturday had been … initially cathartic, but ever since Thea couldn't get it out of her head that she had over-shared. It left her with that feeling that comes after throwing up – initially it feels better, but then the pressure builds again, worse than before. Thea wasn't sure she was ready to go through more intimate sharing with anyone else so soon.

Thea wasn't fully aware that she hadn't answered Laurel's offer until Sin answered for her. "The boss's schedule is clear for the afternoon! You can take her for an hour – two even. Keep her all day!"

Sin's over-committing caused Thea to unfreeze as she rolled her eyes.

"Thea?" Laurel asked, her voice even. "Are you up for it?" As Thea opened her mouth to answer, Laurel added, "Part of the deal when you moved out was that we would be purposeful about making plans. I thought I'd make good on that promise."

Thea quickly scanned the room searching for some reason to stay. As she did, she noticed that even MacKenzie and Shanique seemed interested in Thea's response. The last thing Thea needed was to make a scene. Thea took a quick breath, then stood up, saying, "Sure. Lunch sounds great. Let me just grab my coat."

Each step towards the back of the office where her coat hung with her purse felt labored. Thea didn't want to go. It felt like when she was eight years old and dragging her feet towards the car that would take her to piano lessons with mean Mrs. Stevens. Mrs. Stevens who was always asking if she had practiced that week, and when Thea meekly said "yes," would snap back that she clearly hadn't.

Thea tugged on her coat and slung her bag over her shoulder, stepping up next to Laurel and then overtaking her to get out the door first. Laurel seemed determined not to be left behind and managed to get into the driver's seat of her car at the same time Thea settled into her chair.

Laurel didn't start the car for a moment. The air was still. Finally, she turned the key to start the car and pulled out onto the street. Breaking the silence, she asked Thea softly, "How are you?"

Thea's heart pounded wildly in her chest. She hedged, "I'm fine."

Laurel didn't say anything for a beat, letting Thea's platitude hang in the air. Finally, Laurel turned enough from the road to catch Thea's eyes before returning her focus straight ahead of her. "Thea," Laurel's voice became soft. "How are you? Really?"

"Laurel," Thea pleaded in a low voice. "I can't do this again. I care about you – I care about all of you – and … I'm just not ready to have this conversation again."

Laurel seemed to consider this. "Are you worried about hurting me?" she asked.

Thea sighed, closing her eyes, and said wearily, "Yes."

The silence clung to them. Laurel said gently, "Thea. You are an incredibly thoughtful person. And I appreciate that you want to keep everything bottled up inside because you don't want to hurt any of us. But Thea, this isn't about how anybody else feels. This is about you. And you should be able to and need to be able to share what you're going through. I can deal with my own stuff, okay? And so can the rest of them."

"I'm not so sure Ollie can," Thea dissented darkly.

Laurel sighed. "Ollie – feels things more than he would ever care to admit and has a bad habit of making his feelings everyone else's problem. But that doesn't mean it's right." Laurel gave Thea a half smile, looking at her for a moment from the driver's seat. "I'm sure Felicity is working on it." Thea snorted, knowing Laurel was probably right.

"So let me try again – how are you doing?" Laurel asked.

Thea hesitated for only a moment before breathing out and saying in the exhalation, "Not so great." Laurel nodded understandingly. "Honestly, it was a really shitty weekend. And I know I probably should have told all of you a long time ago, but the fact that it's out there now doesn't actually feel that great." She thought for a moment. "Like, just a few days ago you were all proud of me for landing the Fall Soiree, and now I'm just this sad, sick girl."

Laurel laid one hand on Thea's arm briefly before returning it to the wheel. "It sounds like you've had a really terrible few days, but – Thea, I assure you, none of us are any less proud of you now than we were on Friday." Thea snorted derisively. "It's true! Thea, I have always seen you as someone with this incredible inner strength. The only thing this has done is show me that there is so much more there than I could have imagined."

"You're not hurt I didn't tell you?"

"I'm not going to lie and say that I am completely okay that we are just finding out now. But I also can only imagine what you have gone through, both when you were young and in the past year. And I can understand why you would have tried to do this on your own."

Thea nodded, her eyes filling. She said softly, "I am sorry. There were times … I really wanted to tell you."

Laurel seemed to understand and asked as though she already knew the answer, "Thea – when you moved out – was it to hide that you were getting sicker?"

Thea sighed. "Kind of. But really, I was trying to keep everything from you – from everyone. The case with your dad, Arae – my HIV." She paused, thinking. "It's not that I didn't trust you – I just – I was afraid. I still am, I think."

"Afraid of what?" Laurel asked gently.

"All of it – how you would react. That everyone would know something incredibly personal about me. That my decisions would stop being mine as soon as everyone else found out." Laurel cocked her head like she was trying to understand.

"Look," Thea started, "I don't think any of you love the fact that I've been hitting the streets solo as Arae," Laurel grimaced, confirming Thea's supposition, "But how much less do you like it if I'm splitting my time between that and building cases against the men who hurt me? And that I'm doing it while I'm sick." Laurel seemed to understand. "Ollie already told me to stop as Arae when he didn't have any other information, and he told me to stop pursuing criminal charges before he found out about my HIV. It's the perfect storm to have everyone thinking they can have some kind of say in my choices and what I do with my life."

Thea sighed and pressed herself deeper into the car's seat. "But things changed last month and I know it. And I knew I couldn't keep this from all of you forever, I just – it still feels really crappy right now."

Laurel said quietly, "Yeah, I guess it does. But it won't for forever. Once it all sets in, we'll find a new normal." Laurel darted a quick encouraging look Thea's way. "Just a new normal where you don't have to hide that you're hurting."

Thea nodded, looking listlessly out the window. Her attention was piqued a moment later as she recognized passing a building that was only two blocks from Queen's Jubilee. Thea asked Laurel curiously, "Are we just driving in circles?"

Laurel laughed lightly, sounding a little embarrassed. "Yeah, sorry – we never decided on where we're going and I didn't want to interrupt our conversation to figure it out. What do you want for lunch?"

"Can we just grab Big Belly Burger and eat in the car or in a park or something?"

"That sounds perfect," Laurel agreed.