He left? Really…left…? AGAIN?
Thoughts, confused and…hurt…swirled through Lloyd's mind. "What do you mean…? Why?" His chest constricted, so much it hurt to breath. His throat tightened and his vision blurred.
Wu glanced at him, wincing, an almost guilty look on his face. "I…" He looked away, sighing wearily. "He said he'd stayed the two days I'd wanted, so…he left…"
Lloyd felt his mouth drop in disbelief. He tried to say something, trying to find words for how…how… "I…What?! He just…why was he here in the first place, then?!" His fists curled tightly. Kai was right, why was I so naive?!
Wu's gaze returned to him. "I asked him to stay, Lloyd. It was his decision, both in staying and leaving. I…well, I suppose his deciding to leave didn't help the fact that he and Kai somehow got into a fist fight…"
Lloyd found himself gaping again. "WHAT?!"
"Lloyd, I already—"
Lloyd didn't listen, instead marching towards the door leading into the monastery. I KNEW something was up with Kai! Right when he'd said, "I told him not to", I knew something was up! He knew it was suspicious when Kai suddenly wanted to ask Wu for a break himself—
Lloyd tore open the door. Kai was so gonna get it—
He marched through the monastery until he finally found Kai in the kitchen, scrubbing dishes—non too gently, either.
"Kai!"
The red ninja jumped, looking at him in surprise—and then a flicker of understanding crossed his face. He blinked, then moved to face him, still holding a soap-covered plate. "I, uh…Lloyd…"
"Did you seriously get into a fight with him?!"
Kai bit his lip for a moment, hesitating. "I…well…" He suddenly scowled, looking away. "Yes, yes I did."
Lloyd opened his mouth—
Kai looked back at him, a dark fury in his eyes. "Lloyd, he… I told him to stay away from you, okay? I know your judgment about this is clouded—and I get it, I really do—but he's up to something. I know you all never listen to me when I say so, but—"
Lloyd looked away, shaking his head, blinking. "No…Kai…" He looked back at him, narrowing his eyes, teeth gritted. "This was my last chance. Who knows if he'll ever come back, now? I just…" He blinked, his vision blurring. He sucked in a breath. "I just…"
"I know…I get it…but…" Kai sighed, looking down. "I don't trust him. I may have started that fight—and yeah, I probably shouldn't have—but it's like he went all…psycho-evil-maniac on me." He looked back up, eyes narrowing. "I don't believe he's good. I think he's faking it. He tried to kill me, and if Master Wu hadn't broken up our fight, it…may have ended a lot worse."
Lloyd shook his head, looking back up. "No…no, but—"
"I'm sorry…I know you just want him back, but…I don't think that's gonna happen." Kai went back to roughly scrubbing the plate. "Whether you like it or not…I'm going to protect you, okay? You can't stop me from doing that. Getting Garmadon out of here is for the best—he only causes you pain and hurt."
Lloyd swallowed, blinking rapidly. He glanced at the ground. No… But…he's right… His legs suddenly felt weak, and he realized he was trembling. In fury at Kai, or…he didn't know what…
His legs suddenly buckled, and he slid to the ground, curling his knees tightly to his chest, back to the fridge. He choked, shuddering, and buried his face in his legs.
Someone was immediately beside him, putting an arm around his shoulders.
"Hey…I…" Kai's arm tightened around him. "I'm sorry… It's gonna be okay…"
Lloyd sobbed. Why…?Like a mantra, he couldn't stop asking why. Why would he leave? What's wrong with me…? Did…did I do something…?
Kai hugged him tighter. "It's going to be okay…"
It was a quiet reassurance, and Lloyd couldn't tell who he was trying to convince—him or himself—but…it helped.
A little.
Though it didn't stop him from feeling like he'd just been torn open—or that a part of himself was ripped away. Gone forever.
He felt utterly hopeless.
Wu walked to his meditating room, sighing. He didn't understand… Garmadon seemed to be good…but then suddenly, he was attacking Kai.
And then he left.
He…couldn't figure out why, though. Why would he suddenly attack Kai? Something was bothering him…something didn't feel right… The whole thing just didn't sit right with him.
And then for him leaving, he knew it probably had to do with the fight, but…Garmadon hadn't wanted to come in the first place. He'd had to convince him.
He sat down, cross-legged, and closed his eyes. Maybe meditation on it would help…
Garmadon slowed, seeing Jamanakai finally become visible. He ducked behind a boulder, not wanting to be seen. Cautiously, he crept along, always out of sight.
Once at the village, he proceeded to the alleyways. He finally came upon the alley he'd found Wu by, and…the one he'd lost Ochre's tracks in.
He knelt on the ground, fingering the snow. It brushed away easily again, leaving no trace. He stood, looking at the street—people walking, shopping, and talking. Garmadon swallowed. This time will be different. Wu isn't here this time.
But Ichor might be.
Garmadon involuntarily froze. No no no—
He shook his head, shutting his eye. NO. He had to find Ochre. Not worry about Ichor.
He started down the alley, towards the bustling village street. He slowed when he neared it, putting a hand over his face once more. Carefully, he inched forward, eye darting every which way.
No sign of Ochre.
His chest tightened. He had to be here!
Swallowing, he moved to one of the building's walls, practically pressed against it. He peeked out of the alley, looked around rapidly.
Still nothing…
No—
Garmadon shook his head. He needed to find clues.
He stepped out. The noise suddenly seemed to be louder, deafening. The sun's rays beat down on him, so bright his eyes hurt.
It was too MUCH—
Garmadon swallowed, clenching his fists. He started forward.
"Did you really think you could hide from me?"
Garmadon glanced around, sucking in a strained gasp. Ichor wasn't HERE—
He continued on, trying to ignore Ichor's voice. He searched desperately, searching for any sign of black, or a bark or a whine, or…fur…or something.
The noise grew. Garmadon choked on a gasp. He clutched his chest, trying to continue on.
Run—
He suddenly had the urge to flee. To get oUT OF THERE NOW—
He stumbled, bumping into someone.
"Hey, watch—"
Garmadon didn't hear the rest of it. Gasping, he sprinted, ignoring anyone he crashed into. Everything blurred—sights, sounds, smells, touch—and everything seemed to be in a fog. He couldn't think—
He tripped, then bolted behind a large rock. His legs buckled. He sat there, legs curled to his chest and head down, hands over his ears, clenched tightly.
He didn't know how long he sat there. At least an hour.
He just focused on trying to breathe—
Eventually, he felt calmer. The noise had gone down, and the sun didn't seem so bright. He glanced up, slowly, looking round.
He was out of the village—more on the outskirts.
He turned around, peeking over the boulder. He could still hear the chatter of people.
Garmadon shuddered. Nope, no no no— NOT doing that again…
What had even happened? Garmadon frowned. That had never happened before…why was he suddenly so sensitive to light? And sound? And just…everything?
He shook his head. It didn't matter. He needed to find Ochre, not panic and hide like a kid.
He stood, cautiously approaching the village again—though this time he stayed outside of it. He walked around the outskirts, looking for clues to Ochre.
He searched for an hour.
…There was nothing.
Garmadon stood up from bending by a rock, looking over it. His throat tightened. He blinked rapidly.
Ochre had to be here…
I…
He couldn't live without him…
Garmadon glanced around. I stayed too long… His fists tightened. I should have just looked for Ochre, not gone with Wu! He grit his teeth, trembling. Why had he been so foolish?! Thinking there would still be clues to Ochre here?!
He bit his lip, blinking again. "No…"
His friend—
His only friend…
Ochre was gone.
An emotion slammed into his chest. He choked, blinking, biting his lip again to keep it from trembling.
"Ochre…"
He was gone…
Garmadon stumbled. The world suddenly spun, everything blurring, muting. He collapsed, curling up by the rock, a strangled sob escaping him.
No no no…
Ochre…
Why had he let him down?! Why?! He should have—
I abandoned him…I said I wouldn't, said I'd never leave him, said I'd never do that tO ANYONE ELSE—
He clutched his hair. More sobs escaped him, his shoulders shaking.
No no no—
He sucked in a gasp, letting out a strangled, broken sound.
A piece of him died.
Who was he now?
Who am I?
…What do I even have to live for?
I have nothing…
No one…
He was alone.
He sobbed—hard—feeling more broken and alone then he'd ever felt before. A dark, despairing void edged at his mind.
Empty.
I don't want to exist.
Wu opened his eyes. Meditation wasn't working. Something was off…
He stood, grabbing his tea and taking a sip.
Something was up with Garmadon. He knew it.
Wu's jaw clenched—he had to go after him. He didn't even fully know why, but somehow…something…was telling him to. His brother…. Something was wrong. Very wrong. His gut clenched.
He gulped his tea, set it down, and then started for Jamanakai—that was where he'd found his brother, so he was hoping he'd gone there.
It was a good place to start, anyway.
Garmadon lay curled by the rock, knees tucked to his chest and chin on his arms. The cold of the rock pressed into his back, but he barely felt it. He just felt…numb.
He'd sobbed himself to exhaustion. Now he was just sitting here, trying to figure out what to do. Though…everything just felt unreal. Empty and meaningless.
He didn't want to move.
Maybe he'd just stay here. Until he starved or something.
He sighed. His throat hurt. And his chest felt tight.
Though he found he didn't have it in himself to care.
I just want Ochre.
He bit his lip, blinking. He shook his head.
Ochre—
No. He couldn't—
He couldn't think about that right now, it hurt too much—
He blinked again, sucking in a breath.
I'll be fi—
No. Not this time…
He found his gaze looking at the vast view. He could see for miles, since he was on a mountain. The air blew past him, chilly but not unwelcoming. He could hardly feel it, anyway.
He looked down, seeing the far drop below him. Rocks coated the mountain, jagged and sharp. One slip and one would find themselves perishing to their demise.
Why anyone had built a village up here was questionable.
Garmadon found himself staring. Studying the rocks.
He wondered how many people had fallen. A decent amount, he would think, especially when the war had reached this area. They'd probably been trying to get away from the Serpentine, or had been fighting them. They probably suddenly felt their foot slip, felt nothing but air and the rush of wind…
And then, nothing. A peaceful, serene, black void of nothingness.
He sighed, gazing down the steep slope. A black void of nothingness sounded very good right now. He almost….envied those people.
A large stick caught his eye. Ochre would have loved—
He sucked in a breath. No no no—
Nothingness sounded really good, actually.
Maybe—
His gaze traveled down the steep cliff again.
"Nothingness…" He quietly mouthed the word, testing it. He blinked. A sense of longing—
"Garmadon?" Light footsteps were suddenly approaching him.
He jumped, head snapping towards the sound.
"There you are…" Wu slowed. "I've been looking for you."
Garmadon stared at him. He didn't know if he felt…shocked…or annoyed.
Wu gazed off the mountain for a moment, then looked back at him. "What are you doing?"
Garmadon looked away, jaw clenching. He shrugged.
"What are you planning to do?"
He shrugged again.
"…You're just going to sit here?"
Garmadon didn't reply, blinking.
Wu was silent for a moment. "…Why did you leave? I…I know Kai can be—"
"What do you want?"
Wu stopped. "I… Well, I wanted to know if you're alright…"
Garmadon looked at him. "Why?"
Wu blinked. "Er, well…that fight wasn't exactly mild…"
Garmadon shook his head, gazing back at the cliff.
There was silence for a moment.
"Garmadon…I know it's been….rough…at the monastery, but…they'll warm up to you. I know I said two days, but…you're welcome to stay for as long as you need to."
Garmadon shook his head. "No…I'm fine."
"Do you have somewhere to live?"
Garmadon bit his lip, looking away. Did he…? Other than the woods…? And without Ochre…
What was the point?
Wu paused, seeming to study him for a moment. "…Do you want to live at the monastery?"
Garmadon couldn't stop the surprised look he shot at Wu—though he immediately tried to hide his shock.
"You can live there, if you'd like? I know we only have the couch for you at the moment, but I'm sure we can figure something out…"
Garmadon fiddled with his hands, looking at Wu with slightly narrowed eyes.
Something in his chest twisted.
Wu stared at him questioningly, almost…hopefully.
What does he want from me…? A sense of unease came over him. He knew he wanted something… His throat tightened.
"Well…?" Wu's eyes bore into his.
Garmadon looked away. Despair clenched his chest. Hopeless.
He had nothing.
It didn't seem like he had a choice—again.
"…Fine." It was so quiet he was surprised Wu had heard it, but his brother smiled.
"Everything will work out fine, you'll see. The ninja will warm up to you." Wu walked over to him, holding out a hand.
Garmadon flinched, tensing.
Wu frowned, slowly taking his hand back. He folded them behind his back again, sighing. "Well…would you like to come now? Or would you like to…finish…whatever you were doing?"
Garmadon shrugged, looking away. "Now is fine…"
Wu nodded, then started walking towards the stairs, to their right.
Garmadon stared at him.
Wu turned around, eyebrow raised. "Are you coming…?"
His muscles felt stiff. Like he couldn't move. He felt heavy…like he was being held down. Garmadon reluctantly nodded, then slowly eased himself to his feet. He walked toward Wu, feeling unsteady and like he was back in a daze.
Like everything was unreal.
Wu continued on then, reaching the stairs. Garmadon followed him, but his movements were robotic. He felt far off…like a dream state.
So alone.
He stared down the mountain as they walked, gazing at the sharp, jagged boulders. It was a far drop.
A feeling of regret came over him.
He sighed quietly, looking back at Wu.
He could never have peace, could he?
Wu opened the large doors to the courtyard. Garmadon followed him in, Wu turning to close it again.
The ninja—well, at least some of them—stopped their sparring and stared at him in surprise disgust.
Garmadon sucked in a breath, then walked stiffly past them. He avoided their questioning gazes, eye locked on the door instead. He went up the stairs, opened it, and then slid it closed.
A sense of relief hit him, though only slight. He sighed again, eye closed and back to the door.
Why did I come back?
I don't want to hurt anyone again…
What does Wu WANT from me?!
He refrained from growling.
He was so tired…
Garmadon started down the long, lonely-looking hall. It was a little dark, but bright enough to see.
It haunted him.
These walls. Familiar, yet sending spears of dread down his spine.
Why did I agree to come back?
He was so tired…
Where was Ochre?
He shut his eye. No—
"Garmadon?"
He jumped, head snapping up.
Lloyd gaped at him, looking shocked.
Oh, no—
"What are you— I thought— You left!" Lloyd blinked rapidly, taking a step back.
Panic—
I knew I shouldn't have come back—!
Garmadon felt his limbs freeze.
"Why…" Lloyd opened and closed his mouth a few times. "I…" He blinked again, eyes becoming glassy.
I shouldn't have come—
I'm hurting him AGAIN—
Lloyd's face contorted, looking like he was trying to figure out what he was feeling. He finally scowled, growling, fists tightening. He took a couple step towards him. "Why…why did you come back?! Why?! Why did you even— Why did you—" He choked, sucking in a breath.
Garmadon opened his mouth, but nothing came out. His mind went blank, no words coming, nothing that could ease—
"Why did you leave?!"
Garmadon flinched at the ferocity in Lloyd's tone.
"WHY—?!" Lloyd suddenly gasped, choking back a sob, and then spun on his heel.
He bolted.
Garmadon stayed standing there for a moment, shocked and bewildered. He blinked a few times.
Nothing.
Everything felt…numb.
And then it was all suddenly coming at him full force—
Garmadon shuddered.
I shouldn't have come.
Idiot.
Why did I leave?
Why did I think…why did I think I could ever come back?! Why did I listen to Wu? I don't belong here!
Then where do you belong?
Garmadon swallowed.
Nowhere.
He sucked in a breath. Sighing, he continued on to the living room, trudging slowly. His legs felt like lead, his feet too heavy to lift—so he more dragged himself than walked.
He felt so worn. So Exhausted.
Dead.
A few minutes later, Garmadon slid open the door. The living room was the same as when he'd left—actually, it was also exactly like when he'd come.
He hesitated a moment, blinking. The reality that this was permanent now…
Not permanent. Never permanent.
Nothing is ever permanent.
Not for me…
He bit his lip, then stepped inside.
Once he reached the couch, he discovered the blanket and pillow that Wu had given him were still there.
So they haven't moved it…
…Why? He'd left…
Did…did Wu KNOW he was coming back…?
Garmadon blinked. Did he really—
A wave of utter exhaustion suddenly hit him. He swayed, blinking rapidly, trying to stay awake—
He stumbled over to the couch.
Garmadon collapsed, barely registering when he hit the cushion as everything was sucked away into blackness.
Lloyd stumbled to his room, swiping furiously at his face as he ripped open the door, slamming it shut behind him. He sunk to the floor, knees pulled to his chest as sobs racked his body.
Why—
Why had he come back?!
Why did he LEAVE?!
He choked, feeling the tears stream down his face. He didn't care.
He didn't know whether he felt angry, or relieved and overjoyed he'd actually come back.
I just…
I just want my family back.
Author's note: Thanks everyone for viewing this story! (: And I wanted to thank evigeddert for commenting on every chapter. It means a lot to me (: