Author's note: The chapter title didn't fit, so here's the full chapter name: "Don't You Love the Pains of Hunger?"
Garmadon walked though the dark, empty hall. He hadn't slept at all last night. Ichor's voice…it wouldn't leave him alone.
He grit his teeth.
You deserve it anyway. For everything you've done.
But why does it have to—
His head suddenly swam, black dots appearing in his vision. Garmadon stumbled, one hand leaning against the wall. Trying not to black out.
He blinked rapidly. His muscles felt weak, shaky…
What's wrongwith me…?
His stomach rumbled—
Everything was suddenly tilting, spinning—
It all turned black.
Garmadon blinked. He realized he was cold… He shifted, moving his hands to try and push himself up—
Wait, why was he lying on the floor…?
He blinked again, staring at the cold wood—
Oh. That's explains why I'm freezing…
Garmadon shook his head, then shoved himself up—
Black dots swarmed his vision. He collapsed back to the floor.
Why am I suddenly so dizzy?
His stomach rumbled again.
Oh…
When…when did he eat last?
He paused.
When…?
Was…was that last week? Already?
I need to eat—
No, I can't, I've already been given so much, I can't take any more—
Garmadon shut his eye, wincing as another jolt of pain squeezed his stomach.
Idiot, why did I think—
Get up.
Shakily, he tried to get his arms to move, trying to push himself up again. Black dots immediately appeared in his vision, everything spinning and distorting.
He blinked. I'll be fine…
I can't let anyone find me like this.
GET UP—
With a burst of sudden, harried energy, he shoved himself to his feet. He swayed, his vision momentarily blacking out.
How long had he ignored his hunger? It hadn't been hard…he was so used to it, after Ichor's—
Garmadon curled up on the cold, cement floor, eyes shut tight. His back burned, though it stung like razor-sharp needles. He could feel the blood from his cuts soak through his gi.
I must look like a mess…
His stomach rumbled. He winced, taking a shaky breath.
I'll make it.
I have to.
Lloyd—
NO.
He shut his eyes tighter, choking.
Monster.
When did I last eat?
No, how long have I been here…?
A chuckle came from his right.
Garmadon stiffened, shocked at how much fear suddenly coursed though him—
"Hello, Garmadon."
He turned his head, seeing Ichor's face, eyes alight with glee at his pain.
"How—" he coughed— "How long are you going to keep me here?"
Ichor's grin widened. "What, you don't like it here?"
Garmadon closed his eyes. He has no intention of letting me go…
A dark despair entered his mind. He tried to shove back the sting of tears. I won't break down in front of him… No, I can't…don't show weakness…
Garmadon's stomach rumbled again. He cringed, curling tighter into himself. NO—
Ichor stared, face calm. "Hungry?"
"No…"
His captor smiled. "Don't you love the pains of hunger?" Ichor looked off to the side, head tilted as if in thought. "You know, I honestly don't remember when I fed you last…" He shrugged nonchalantly. "I had a dog once. It was a scrawny little thing—"
That was an odd change of subject—
"—like you."
Oh. Of course…
"I didn't feed it much—kept forgetting. Eventually, it was driven mad and tried to attack me…" He paused dramatically.
"It died that day." Ichor turned, walking away. "I do hope you don't follow a similar path. Hopefully, I'll remember to feed you…sometime."
Garmadon felt a shudder go through him. Another sharp, needle-like pain swept through his stomach. He cringed, shutting his eyes again.
Maybe tomorrow—
Garmadon blinked rapidly, finding himself back at the monastery. He shook his head, then winced as everything swayed to the side again.
I have to eat something…
Not here though. Not from them.
He could find his own food.
I'll live.
Keeping that thought in his mind, Garmadon turned, starting for the courtyard. Every step felt shaky, and his head spun.
A few minutes later, however, the onslaught of dizziness dimmed, allowing him to walk better.
Finally…
It took him two hours to get down the monastery's steps. At the bottom, he paused, staring at the woods before him. They stretched on, though not as thick as the woods he'd lived in with Ochre—
He flinched. No…
Don't think about him—
Flinching again, he shoved the thought out, continuing on. Something edible had to be around here somewhere… Wu and him used to come down here plenty of times. There were sometimes berries, or the squirrels. Some rabbits.
I don't have the energy to catch any squirrels or rabbits…
Guess he was stuck with berries or something.
After wandering around for a bit, he finally came across a bush. Garmadon paused, staring at it, and then knelt beside it. He took the branch in his hand, studying the fruit.
This was… He was pretty sure this was edible…
His stomach rumbled again, making him wince.
He was so hungry.
Don't do something foolish—
Why do I care?
No, why was he still taking to himself?
He shook his head, focusing back on the fruit. It did look like Hikoya's fruit…but Hikoya's fruit could also look like Blood berries…and Blood berries were deadly. Their name wasn't given to them because of their color—it was because it ate away at your stomach, causing the victim to vomit up blood.
Garmadon sighed. Did he dare risk it?
Unfortunately, he was no expert on edible and poisonous berries…
No.
Garmadon stood, glancing around. Maybe he could—
A flash of fur caught his eye.
He froze. A rabbit stood about four feet away, nibbling at some clovers. Its ears twitched every so often, swiveling, listening for predators.
It hopped closer to him.
I can catch that…right?
If I don't pass out first…
Garmadon slowly knelt, keeping his eyes fixed on the rabbit. Hunger suddenly seemed to claw at him like knives, now that he was so close to food. He reached to the side, for a stick—
The rabbit froze, ears pricked.
Garmadon froze as well. No no no—
Its nose twitched, ears going every which way.
Now's my chance, or else I'll never eat…
Garmadon gripped the stick tightly, briefly studying the tips. It wasn't sharp…but that didn't mean he couldn't stab it—
He flinched. It was just a rabbit. And besides, he needed to eat. And it wasn't even human—
"That was your last mistake, Mystake."
There was a scream—
Garmadon blinked. The rabbit was looking right at him.
I need to eat.
Can I really KILL it, though? After everything…
His stomach rumbled again.
The rabbit's ears stuck straight up, eyes locked on him. Then it bolted—
Stupid stomach—
A sharp pain shot through him.
Garmadon suddenly lunged, his mind seeming to be frozen in a blur—
The rabbit didn't stand a chance.
Not against him.
Everything ground to a halt. Garmadon froze, wide-eyed, stick impaled in the rabbit's side. Blood was edging at the wound, bright red.
He scrambled back—
Garmadon turned away, back to Mystake. The motionless figure of the foolish women didn't bother him, not even as the blood leaked from the wound he'd inflicted on her.
Fool.
She always said he was the fool. Now who earned that title?
"What now, my Lord?" Harumi walked over, hands folded calmly behind her back.
"I want them FOUND." Garmadon growled, eyes narrowing as he looked over the city—HIS city.
Harumi smiled, bowing. "Yes, my Lord." She turned to Ultra Violet. "Find—
Garmadon gasped, blinking. The image faded, the rabbit still lying motionless.
Murderer—
I killed it—
He shut his eye. But I need to eat…
At what cost?
Selfish.
Garmadon shook his head, inching over to the rabbit. It was too late now. May as well eat it, right?
He winced. Reaching out a hand, he gripped the stick again.
He took a breath. Breathe.
Garmadon yanked it out.
Immediately, red starting leaking into the rabbit's fur—
Blood, so much blood—
Ichor lay, so still, mangled and scarred. Red stained the snow.
No no no—
What have I done…?
Face slashed, body broken open—
Blood seeped out, leaking into the gi.
You're a murderer. And this is only the beginning.
"Ichor—"
Garmadon jerked back, gasping. His throat tightened, a sob threatening to escape. He shook his head, vision blurring. "I…I didn't mean it, I didn't… I'm sorry…"
His grip on the stick tightened, his other hand digging into the foliage beneath him.
Murderer.
Why did he—
"I'm so sorry…" He choked, backing into a tree, legs curled into himself. "I'm so sorry…"
Ichor's right, I am a monster, a villain—
No escape—
I deserve it all.
He put his head down, not able to look at the rabbit any longer. "I'm so sorry—"
Garmadon didn't know how long he sat there. But eventually, he glanced up. The rabbit still lay there.
If he was going to eat it, he'd better get going, or it would get infested with worms and bacteria and such.
He sighed. At least he'd better not let it go to waste. Garmadon stood, shakily, and took a step closer to it.
His stomach rumbled again.
The thought of food suddenly overwhelmed the rest of his scattered thoughts.
I need to eat.
Garmadon walked towards the monastery. The guilt wouldn't leave him.
Murderer.
But he'd never enjoyed eating as much as he did that rabbit. Even if it hadn't had much meat on it, it tasted like the best thing he'd ever eaten—aside from candy, cake, and ice cream, anyway. Nothing beat a good, sweet dessert.
Wow, that sounded really good, actually…
No, wait, why was he thinking about—
He really didn't deserve to think about that kind of stuff.
Garmadon shook his head. Just keep walking.
Why did he feel so guilty about eating that rabbit? It was just a rabbit… It didn't even belong to anyone.
Murderer.
Because I didn't deserve to eat it.
I don't deserve it.
I should have let myself starve—
No, no—
Garmadon tripped over a stray root. He hissed briefly in pain.
Idiot, watch where you're—
Maybe he should just focus on getting back to the monastery.
He shook his head.
At least he didn't feel so dizzy anymore. And some of the pain had eased.
He sighed—in relief or exhaustion, he wasn't sure. Maybe both.
Garmadon opened the sliding door, walking in. Faint voices could be heard from the kitchen. Swallowing, he started for the living room—
"Hello, brother."
He jumped, turning.
Wu stood there, tea in hand.
"…What?"
Wu rose an eyebrow. "I was just looking for you."
"…Why?" He found a cautious-like suspicion arising. What does he want?!
There was a pause.
"Well…I was wondering if you wanted to join me for my morning meditation?"
Garmadon blinked, staring at him. "…What?"
Trap.
Wu nodded, a small smile on his face. Then he looked hesitant for a moment. "I…well, I was wondering if it would help?"
"Help? With what?"
Trap.
"With…well…I know you haven't been sleeping well, obviously. And you always seem…skittish." Wu shifted, briefly glancing away before looking back at him. "I just…was wondering if it would help? Meditation seemed to help you in the past…"
It's a trap.
"What?" He blinked again, a little bewildered. What in Ninjago does he want? Can't he just say it?
Wu moved his one hand, now holding the teacup in both. He almost bit his lip, then caught himself. "You know, with the Great Devourer's venom? Meditation—"
Garmadon grit his teeth, eyes closed. FOCUS.
Kill him.
Anger boiled in his blood again, mind darkening—
His breath caught.
Focus, Garmadon! He took another breath, held it, and breathed it out slowly.
Just calm down.
Guilt struck him, memories flashing through his mind. There was yell—
A loud thud—
STOP.
He shut his eyes tighter, trying to block it out. The rage, the anger…what was wrong with him? Why had he suddenly snapped like that?
I thought I could control it…maybe I was wrong.
"Garmadon…?"
The soft, hesitant voice snapped him out if his distressing thoughts. He looked up. A long cut ran along Wu's jawline, his brother now pressing a piece of cloth to it. It didn't looked too deep…
Garmadon quickly looked down as more guilt bombarded him. He bit his lip. "Sorry…" It was barely a whisper, but he could tell Wu had heard it.
There was an awkward pause.
"I know…it's okay…" There were light footsteps before his brother sat down, cross-legged, in front of him. "Are…you okay, now?"
Garmadon bit his lip again, harder. He shrugged. "I don't know…if I'm not going to try murdering you again, then…yeah, I guess…"
Wu let out a soft sigh. "That's good, at least…"
Garmadon tried not to cringe.
"At least meditation seems to help. I'm glad father suggested it."
Father— An anger threatened to snap, blow up at Wu—
Garmadon quickly closed his eyes. No no no—
NOT AGAIN.
"Garmadon?"
"I'MFINE! Just…leave me alone!"
He could feel Wu's hurt look—
Idiot—
And then exhaustion suddenly slammed into him. All the anger, hate, rage—it melted away, leaving him feeling an aching emptiness. A lonely, despairing void.
Wu hesitated. "…Are you sure?"
"Yes." Garmadon paused, biting his lip and blinking. Guilt crept up on him again. "I'm sorry…I…I didn't mean to snap…"
There was another pause.
"I know…it's the venom again, isn't it?"
Garmadon hesitated—but nodded. "Yes…I'm sorry… Just…please? I…I don't want to hurt you again…"
Wu glanced at the ground. "I… Okay." He swallowed, standing, and then walked out the door. He started to slide it shut—
Garmadon quickly looked up. "…Are you okay?"
Wu paused, hand still on the door. The cloth he held to his face had blood in it, from his wound. "Yes. I'm fine."
"I…I didn't hurt you too bad?"
His brother shook his head. "No. I'm fine." He shut the door.
Garmadon listened as his footsteps faded. He sighed, bowing his head and gripping his hair.
I hurt him. How could I—
He's my BROTHER!
What would father think of me?
He quickly swiped at his face. We're in the middle of a war, and here I am, moping in here! And almost killing an ally—BROTHER.
Pathetic.
Stupid venom.
Maybe you should just go back to Chen, I'm sure he'd take—
NO. I am not going back, I need to help Wu with the war!
Dumb venom.
He thought back to their fight—his brother's wide eyes, hand on his cut as he'd approached him.The fear.
He flinched.
Someday, you're going to end up killing someone.
Then you'll be a murderer.
No, that'll never happen—
"—seemed to calm you down. Clear your head."
Garmadon blinked, snapping out of the memory.
Wu opened his mouth to continue—then paused. "You…you didn't hear a word I just said, did you?"
At his silence, Wu sighed. "Well, anyway…would you like to try meditating with me? It may help you…clear your head, as I was saying."
Garmadon blinked again. "Um…"
"And besides, I haven't gotten to spend any time with you either. This could be a good way to do that? And it'll be just blissful silence—I'm sending the ninja out to train in a minute—and the nice, calm atmosphere might help you relax."
Garmadon bit his lip, not as sure of the idea as Wu was.
But he didn't have a choice, did he?
What does he want?
He looked away.
"What do you think?" Wu took a sip of his tea. "It'll be like old times, when we used to meditate together as kids." He chuckled. "Except we'll both have better focus and father won't be there—"
"Judging?" Garmadon winced, quickly shutting his mouth.
Wu blinked. "Um…I was going to say reminding us to focus…" He shifted awkwardly, then shook his head. "But anyway, what do you think?"
Garmadon frowned. "…Fine."
"Fine?"
"Yes, fine. I'll join you."
He looked up as Wu smiled.
"Thank you, Garmadon."
It seemed to be genuine…but Wu was good at keeping secrets, and lying was no different.
Wu turned to go, heading for the kitchen. Over his shoulder, he said, "You know, you may feel better after this. Some nice time in silence, with just the two of us, may really help you."
Why did Garmadon doubt that statement so much?
You don't know what I've been through. You don't even know the full extent of what I've done. Nothing is going to help me.
Garmadon shook his head, watching Wu enter the kitchen further down the hall.
Ignorance.