"Hey…"

Garmadon looked up, seeing Lloyd standing a few feet from the couch again.

Lloyd shifted awkwardly. "So…um. How've you been?"

"Fine…"

"Okay." Lloyd stared at the floor.

"How have you been?"

He glanced at him, eyes flashing briefly in surprise. "Uh…fine."

Garmadon watched him, then nodded a little. Lloyd had been coming for brief visits like this every so often. It was sort of like Misako's, but shorter and more awkward.

Lloyd shifted again, biting his lip.

Garmadon was fairly certain Lloyd hadn't told anyone about these talks. For some reason, he wanted to keep it a secret. Garmadon wasn't sure why.

He pet Ochre, not knowing what to say.

Lloyd sat down on the coffee table. He gripped the edges, seeming uneasy.

"What have you been doing lately?" It had taken him a bit to be able to ask questions, but the talks he'd had with Misako had helped his confidence a little.

Though should he really be asking questions in the first place? He probably shouldn't pry into Lloyd's personal life, he doubted he would appreciate—

"Just…reading and training." Lloyd shrugged a little, looking anywhere but him.

"Oh." Garmadon bit his lip. How much should he really ask? Was it really right to—

But he was curious. Lloyd…was still his son. And…that someone else, Lloyd's father, still seemed to like to take control. Garmadon was torn between staying away, and wanting to know what was going on in Lloyd's life—how he was, the good and the bad, things he was struggling with, his ninja-life, his training.

Anything, really.

"What…have you been reading?" Garmadon supposed the father-side was taking over today. Curiosity and his care for Lloyd won over this round. Sometimes it did, and sometimes it didn't, where Garmadon would stay back and just let Lloyd be.

Besides, his son really didn't need him.

Lloyd shrugged. "Starfarer."

He supposed he shouldn't be surprised about that. "Which book? Um…it's a series, right?"

"Yeah… I've been reading them out of order. The fifth, seventh, eighteenth. And a few of the specials."

Garmadon nodded. "Any new ones come out?"

He shook his head. "No. After Cliff Gordon—the actor who played Fritz—died, the comics and movies have slowed."

"Why?"

"I don't know…I guess the fandom has been in mourning or something. Even though it was a while ago."

"Hmm."

Lloyd finally looked at him, eyes narrowed slightly. "Since when have you been interested in Starfarer?"

Garmadon shrugged a little. "I was just curious…since you like it."

He frowned.

"How's training been going?"

"Fine…"

"Learn anything new?"

"No, not really. Why do you ask?"

He shrugged. "I was curious…"

"Right…" Lloyd glanced around, then stood. "Well, I gotta go."

"Okay." Garmadon pet Ochre.

Lloyd watched the dog for a moment, then headed for the door.

Garmadon sighed quietly, staring at Ochre. And why did Lloyd keep doing that…? Staring at his dog like that? He had since the day Ochre had come to the monastery.

"A couple more days, hmm?"

Garmadon nodded, keeping his eye on the dog. "Wu said I should be almost healed in a week, because of the tea."

Misako nodded. She sat on the coffee table again. It seemed to be a good place to sit, since her and Lloyd often did. Wu had a couple times, but he usually preferred to stand.

"What are you going to do after that?" Misako asked.

He shrugged a little. "I don't know… What I was doing before the accident."

"And what was that?"

"…Um. I guess sitting around."

"Hmm."

He glanced at her, then away again. His revelation yesterday made this even more awkward than it had been before.

"What did you think of supper tonight?"

"It was fine."

"Any favorites?"

"The fish was good…"

"I agree. I'm glad Zane likes to cook…he's very good at it."

He nodded. He felt her gaze on him, but he focused on Ochre.

"Is…something wrong?"
"No…sorry."

"Hmm…alright. Is there anything you want to talk about?"

"I don't know." Garmadon glanced at her. The notion that he still loved her was throwing him off. He couldn't think straight, and he really just wanted the feeling to go away.

He didn't deserve her, and she deserved better than him. Not to mention, even if he did still love her, it wouldn't matter anyway.

No. I don't.

He needed a distraction or something.

Misako bit her lip, eyes narrowing slightly at him.

She knew something was off, didn't she? Of course she did, she always did! Which was frustrating. But he hoped it had been long enough since he'd been good, since after the Final Battle, that she couldn't read him as well.

Besides, nowadays, he was a cowardly, anxious murderer. He wasn't who he once was, and he didn't think he ever would be again. The resurrection had taken that—that man was gone. Either stuck in the Departed Realm, or sucked into oblivion into the monster Harumi had brought back.

He tried not to shiver at her name.

She'd ruined his life, that was for sure. First the venom, then her. And apparently the Overlord, if he'd been telling the truth during his third—fourth?—attempted take-over of Ninjago. If he had truly sent the Great Devourer to bite him.

Who knew.

He didn't think it really mattered, either.

"Well…I don't have any more information on that city." Misako shrugged a little, still watching him.

Garmadon nodded. Maybe it was for the best. If she started talking about archaeology and history and whatever else, he'd end up staring again, and that benefited neither of them.

In fact, maybe the less they talked, the better.

"Are you sure nothing's wrong?" Misako asked.

He nodded.

"You're more quiet than usual…is something on your mind?"

"No…I…uh." He looked at her, hesitating. Now was as good a time as any, right? "Well…I'm pretty much healed, now."

She nodded. "Mm-hmm. That's good."

"Yes…" Then he chickened out. He couldn't just tell her to stop talking to him. That would be rude, and she might tale offense at it or something. Besides, it was almost the end of the week anyway, so maybe it would sort itself out.

"Was there anything else?" She rose an eyebrow.

"Um…no. Did you have research to get to? It's been about ten minutes, I think."

She checked the time on her phone. "I suppose…"

Garmadon pet Ochre.

Misako stood. "Well, I may as well get back to work." She smiled awkwardly, then headed for the door. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight…"

When she'd left, he let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. At least she'd left and taken the bait. The less they talked, the better. And while he couldn't end these talks, he could at least keep them short, like tonight.

She'd always had a weak spot for research. He felt a little bad for using that, but he felt he had no choice. They couldn't get tangled up in this mess again.

It was for their own good.

Garmadon pet Ochre's cheeks, rubbing up and down. He smiled a little at the dog's happy expression.

Sometimes Ochre's penetrating, intelligent gaze could show a cute stupidity that could only be seen on a dog. Maybe a cat too, but he didn't have a cat, and he preferred dogs. At least, ever since he'd gotten Ochre.

"You're such silly wolf-dog, huh?"

The dog smiled, pink tongue hanging out lopsidedly.

It was pretty late, probably around ten o'clock. Misako had left a while ago. He'd tried to sleep, but found his mind wandering instead to Misako, and what he'd been trying to deny.

He couldn't still love her.

And so to distract himself, he'd started petting Ochre. Actually the dog had distracted him first, before he decided to distract himself. But same thing, right?

He suddenly felt eyes on him, and looked up. Lloyd stood there, staring at the dog. He swallowed uncomfortably, sitting a little straighter on the couch.

Oh, and he was supposed to have his leg propped up. Oops. He quickly did so—not that Lloyd cared, but he might tattle to Wu or something. He didn't know, but he'd rather be safe than sorry. Wu could be very creepy when he wanted to be, especially when it came to scolding.

He really was like father.

Garmadon blinked, realizing his mind was wandering, and Lloyd was still standing there. "Um…hey. What are you doing up? Shouldn't you be in—"

"Do you really like a dog more than me?!"

He blinked. "What?"

"First it was Harumi. Then it was that stupid plant. Now this!" Lloyd angrily threw his arms towards Ochre, gesturing to the dog.

"I…what?"

How can he act so clueless?! Lloyd grit his teeth. "Would you really choose a dog over me? If that car had come speeding towards us both, would you have saved him instead of me?" A sharp jab of pain hit his chest. Or maybe it was his heart. Either way, he'd finally had enough. He hadn't meant to snap. But walking in, and finding his dad—Garmadon—baby talking to the dog had driven him over the edge.

Garmadon was staring at him, looking shocked.

Now having mentioned the plant, and Harumi, he was feeling even more horrible. Perhaps that had been the wrong move—but it had to be said. If Garmadon was going to switch and go like whatever, abandoning the last thing he'd liked, then he could at least admit to it. He wasn't sure how Garmadon felt about Harumi. He just knew he'd tried to destroy the entire city after she'd supposedly died. And then he'd abandoned his plant, Christofern, even though he seemed to have liked it. It didn't even look like he remembered the plant. And now there was some dog, trying to take Lloyd's place, again!

"Lloyd…what are you talking about?" Garmadon sat up. He had moved to prop his leg up when he'd noticed him standing there, but now he'd moved again.

Lloyd felt his blood boil, fists clenching. He tried to calm himself, feeling a surge of his oni side threatening to escape. He did not need to turn into that…golden oni again. Whatever that was. "You know what I'm talking about. You'd abandon me just for a dog. And a plant, and Harumi." He felt sudden tears prick at his eyes, and he tried desperately to hold himself together. He couldn't have a breakdown, not again, not here, not now.

He tried to breath in slowly, his chest constricting. He tried to hold off the tears, blinking rapidly, trying to see through his now-blurred vision. Why did this hurt so much?!

"Lloyd…I…" Garmadon blinked. A sudden flash of realization came over his face. "That's why you've been staring at him like that…"

He frowned. "What?"

"At Ochre…" Garmadon also frowned. "You're…jealous?"

Jealous. That awful word, the one he'd denied for days but finally accepted as true. Lloyd looked away, unable to meet his eye anymore. "Why wouldn't I be?" It was more bitter than he'd intended, and more of a statement than a question. "You've paid more attention to that dog than me or anyone else. And you baby-talk to it."

There was silence for a moment.

"I…" Garmadon stood.

Lloyd looked at him.

He was suddenly being wrapped in a hug. Lloyd stiffened in surprise.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know…" Garmadon tightened his grip. "I…I didn't know you wanted attention…"

Lloyd swallowed. This was not what he had been expecting. He'd expected a, "Yeah, of course I like Ochre more. You're a failure."

"I just…I thought keeping my distance would be better. I thought you wanted me to stay away…"

Lloyd frowned. "I…no. No. I just…Ijust want my dad."

That…that last part wasn't supposed to come out—

He hadn't meant to say that, he didn't need him—

Lloyd was sure Garmadon had sucked in a breath. He couldn't tell. His mind was racing, muddled, a chaotic mess.

He felt his throat tighten in a sob. He tried to swallow, tried to keep it in. A tear slipped down his face, then another. Keep it together! This couldn't happen again. Not again. Not in front of Garmadon—

Lloyd sucked in a shuddering breath, hands clenching into fists to try and stop his shaking.

Garmadon stayed silent, though he didn't loosen his grip.

Was he his dad? Or was he just Garmadon? Was he still the shell, the oni, that had come back from the Departed Realm? Or was he really his father, Sensei Garmadon?

Lloyd bit his lip, wondering what his silence meant. Did he…was he not his dad? Did he not want to be? Did he think Lloyd was stupid for saying such a foolish thing? Why did I say that? Why would I let something like that slip?

He really was losing himself. He was certainly not who he'd once been, an innocent kid with Ninjago's fate on his shoulders. The admirable Green Ninja, the savior of Ninjago, the one to defeat the Dark Lord. He'd been so naive back then.

He hadn't realized, as a kid stealing candy, what his life would end up being. How much…trauma…he'd be thrown through.

Lloyd closed his eyes, trying to ground himself. He breathed evenly, trying to shake off the shudders of his breaths. Tried to focus on his surroundings instead, to try and keep himself from breaking down.

It was then he realized Garmadon's arms were still around him—he hadn't let go. That…that was good, right?

He relaxed slightly, feeling the warmth of the hug. He suddenly noticed how tense he'd been. Lloyd swallowed, opening his eyes. "Dad…?"

Garmadon didn't reply for a moment. "…Hmm?"

He didn't know what to say. What he should say. "I…" He trailed off awkwardly.

"Lloyd…I don't know."

He bit his lip. "What does that mean?"

"It… I don't know." Garmadon sighed quietly. "I don't even know who I am…"

Lloyd blinked. "What?"

"I'm sorry…"

He frowned. "What do you mean you don't know who you are?"

"I…just, after the resurrection, I don't know…"

So they both didn't know. That… Lloyd wasn't sure if that made him feel any better.

There was an awkward silence again.

Lloyd's jaw clenched as he tried to think through what Garmadon had said. "So you're saying, you…" He paused, swallowing. Anxiety clenched him hard. What if he said no? "You…can't be my dad?"

Garmadon didn't reply right away.

Lloyd held his breath. Could he really handle a no? Did he have the mental stability, when he was already falling apart? What if he finally broke? How would he protect Ninjago? How would he—

"I can try."

He blinked. "I…what?"

"I can try," Garmadon repeated. "I will try. I will try so hard, okay?" He sounded ready to break down himself.

Lloyd felt tears fill his eyes again. "You will?"

"Yes."

"You'll…you can be my dad? You won't leave again?"

Garmadon paused. "I…no. I'll stay. I'll stay this time."

He held his breath for a moment, his words sinking in. He's staying. His dad was really staying. He wasn't sure if he could keep that promise. They thought he was staying after the Final Battle, too. But…he wanted to believe it. He wanted to believe it so badly.

Lloyd flung his arms around him, in a tight-gripped hug. His jaw clenched as he tried not to breakdown, tried not to start sobbing. This was starting to become very reminiscent of what had happened at the hospital.

Garmadon stayed.

He tried to memorize the moment. He didn't want another to pass him up so quickly, not when he always seemed to have so little time with his father.

And…he didn't have to call him Garmadon anymore. He could just say Dad, right? But…did he really want everyone else to know about this yet? He frowned, undecided.

But he was supposed to be enjoying the moment. Right. Memorizing it. He couldn't forget it, he had to live it.

He forced the distracting thoughts away, trying to only focus on the moment. To soak it in.

Garmadon still had his arms around him, tight, but not too tight. A warm, comforting embrace. He smelled of forest and…something he couldn't identify? Or maybe that was chemicals or something from the hospital. That might be it.

He noticed Garmadon was still a bit taller than him, maybe by a few inches. How unfair. But he felt no bitterness over it. He…sort of preferred it. His Dad's strong arms around him, the height difference, made him feel…safe.

He remembered a time he would have felt just the opposite. Like…a little bit ago. Or back when he'd been Emperor Garmadon. Or even just post Emperor Garmadon, when he'd been supposedly "good". After the Final Battle, he'd felt safe, though. Even before that, as a kid, he'd felt safe in his Dad's arms.

Wow, so much had changed since then…

Lloyd closed his eyes. Maybe it was possible to repair their relationship… He'd been questioning since what had happened in the hospital. When his dad had suddenly gone on an apology ramble. It had been so unexpected.

"Um…so, you never answered earlier. Why aren't you asleep?"
He blinked. "Uh…" Wait, what time was it?How long had he been in here? "I just…couldn't sleep, I guess…" He shrugged. He refrained from telling him the real reason—that he'd just wanted to see him, that he was worried he'd be gone or something, having abandoned Lloyd once more. His nightmare hadn't helped his already anxious thoughts about his father. Garmadon…may have promised to be his dad, but…he didn't trust him yet.

Trust would have to be built back over time.

Garmadon started to pull away. "You should sleep. It's late."

Lloyd reluctantly stepped back, stuffing his hands in his sweater pockets. Then he quickly swiped at his eyes, realizing tears had been running down his cheeks. When had that happened…?

"Um…you have training in the morning, right?"

He nodded a little, looking up at him.

Garmadon was biting his lip, his own eye glassy-looking.

The dog suddenly stepped between them, whining. It wagged its tail.

Garmadon patted Ochre's head, then looked at Lloyd. "Um…"

Lloyd watched the dog, but…the jealous feeling had lessened a lot.

Garmadon pulled his hand back suddenly. "I…sorry."

He blinked, looking at him. "For what?"

"I…well, you were jealous I kept petting Ochre. Should I stop?"

He blinked again. "What?"

"I don't…I don't want to mess up again. Do you want me to stop giving him attention?"

Lloyd's mouth partly dropped open in surprise. He'd do that…for him? He stuttered a little, then said, "I…no. That's fine."

"Oh…" Garmadon patted Ochre's head again. "Then…you said you wanted attention?"

"Yeah…" Lloyd blushed. This was suddenly getting awkward.

"What kind of attention? Or…I mean, what would you like me to do?"

Lloyd's mind went blank. What did he want? "I…I don't know. Maybe…let me think on it. I can let you know…"

Garmadon nodded. "Okay." He shifted nervously. "Did…you still want to keep this a secret?"

He blinked. Right. He'd forgotten. "For now. Yeah." He stared at the floor.

"Okay."

Lloyd nodded.

"Well…I never got to properly introduce you to Ochre. Because of…um. Anyway. Want to meet him?"

He looked at the dog, then his dad. "Uh…sure. I guess."
Garmadon smiled a little, then knelt next to the dog. "This is Ochre. He's part wolf, and maybe some sort of shepherd dog. I'm not sure—I'm not a dog expert."

Lloyd slowly knelt as well, watching the dog in interest. He no longer felt jealously, just…curiosity. But just to make sure—and maybe because he liked when his dad said it, "You like me more than him, right?"

"Of course." Garmadon looked a little hurt for a moment, the gestured to Ochre. "Hold out your hand so he can sniff you."

"I did when we found him." Lloyd bit his lip, not having intended to blurt that out.

"Oh. Alright."

"He liked me for some reason…"

"Maybe because we're related. He's pretty smart."

Lloyd held out his hand anyway, letting Ochre sniff him. "I guess. How smart is he?"

Ochre licked his hand, tail wagging.

"I'm not sure. But he learns quickly."

"Huh." Lloyd stood, stuffing his hands back in his pockets. "Well…anyway, I do really need to get to bed. Master Wu's probably going to get me up early…"

Garmadon nodded, standing. He shifted uncertainly. "Yeah… Goodnight."

"'Night…" Lloyd turned, walking towards the door. When he reached the hall, away from the living room door's view, he leaned against the wall. He let out a slow breath, trying to process what had just happened.

Why did it always leave him in a state of shock?

He continued on to his room. No time to ponder that now.

Lloyd yawned, blinking tiredly. He hoped he wouldn't be too tired tomorrow…tomorrow was game night. He wanted to be awake for that.

Though he wondered how they'd do it with Garmadon around. He still didn't want to reveal their talks, and Wu had been pretty strict on video games since Garmadon was staying in the living room.

But because of what had happened tonight…it was possible his dad could just join them. Maybe play a game or two, and watch a movie?

He bit his lip, trying not to smile. He was suddenly much more excited for tomorrow.

Garmadon sat back down on the couch slowly, one hand on Ochre's head. What just happened? He'd…he'd never considered Lloyd would be jealous of the attention he gave to Ochre. He just…he had thought Lloyd wanted nothing to do with him. That he hated him. That he thought he'd be better off leaving and never coming back.

He was so confused.

Ever since coming to the monastery, he'd been surprised at people's actions. Wu actually seeming to care, Misako talking to him, Nya volunteering to get Ochre a collar…and now Lloyd was now actually talking to him and seemed to care and wanted him to be his dad.

But can I really fulfill that role? Can I really be his dad? Can I really be what he needs me to be?

He'd failed so many times in the past. Why would now be any different?

A memory from when Wu first found him in Jamanakai flashed through his mind.

"For Lloyd?"

Garmadon's head jerked towards Wu, a flash of surprise going through him. "What?"

"He needs you."

Garmadon's eye narrowed. He looked away, feeling a bitterness rise in his throat. "No. He doesn't."

Wu's hand briefly squeezed his arm tighter, causing Garmadon to tense. "Yes, he does. He needs his father. I can only do so much."

He finally understood what Wu meant. Or at least, a little. Wu really could only do so much—he wasn't Lloyd's father. He'd tried to train and raise the Green Ninja, along with his students, but…he was only Lloyd's uncle. He'd tried to step in for him where Garmadon had failed, but Garmadon was ultimately the one who needed to step up for Lloyd.

The task was daunting.

How can I truly be his father? And am I even the same man? Am I even truly his father, or just some resurrected clone, a shell of him?

Ochre licked his hand.

He sighed quietly, then patted the dog's nose. I can't do this.

But he didn't have a choice. He'd made a promise to Lloyd—not to leave, and be his dad for once. But could he really keep that promise?

So many doubts were going through his mind.

He tried to shove them out, laying down and propping his leg up. It would be fine. He would be fine. Everything would be fine.

Ochre laid down next to the couch, curling up.

Garmadon laid his hand on the dog, running his fingertips through his soft, yet rough, fur. Maybe tomorrow would somehow sort itself out.

Not that it ever did, though. He had terrible luck.

He closed his eye, his last thought resting on Lloyd—his son.