It's Thursday so it means update day! Thank you Hollie for all your wonderful reviews, we only have about 10 more chapters left of this rewrite! Enjoy
Jess took one last look around her bedroom. Pale green walls. Oak bed with white sheets and green pillows. Vintage white dressing table with all Jess' makeup, perfume and other bits on, complete with a mirror surrounded with spotlights. Oak dresser with a big photo of Jess and Callum on their wedding day. Dark green velvet chair which Jess had owned since being a teen. Various pictures and photos hung on the wall opposite the bed. White venetian blinds on the large bay window overlooking the street and the city.
She sighed before packing more of her clothes into the large holdall on the bed. She took the wedding photo off of the dresser, lightly tracing a finger over her face and Callum's, before placing it carefully back. Last to go in was her make-up and perfume. She zipped the bag up, the finality of it hitting her. She wouldn't be back here for at least three weeks, maybe even over a month, and she wanted to remember every little detail of her home. She looked round the room, checking for anything she might have missed. On the wall opposite the bed with all the photos and pictures, she took off a family one of her, Andy and their parents when they had been teens. She kissed the smiling face of her father before holding it against her chest, her heart, grabbing the holdall and leaving the room, shutting the door quietly behind her.
She took a few steps down the hall, looking left into the nursery. She placed the holdall on the floor resting against the railing, with the family photograph grasped tightly in her hand. One hand caressed her bump, the other with the photo pushed the door open fully. She stepped in and inhaled the fresh smell of it. The pale wood dresser was already full of tiny sleep suits and clothes, Luke's old ones mingled with new ones. Jess gently put the photo down on top of the dresser, pleased that her dad's smiling face would be present in here. The small wardrobe housed the baby bath, and all the different creams and oils for the baby, plus towels and a tiny dressing gown. A white changing table was against the wall opposite the door, a shelf above it with some wicker baskets full of nappies. And there, in the centre of the room was the swinging crib that her father had lovingly crafted for his grandchild.
Jess traced her finger gently along it, feeling the smooth wood under her hand. In a few weeks, she would be home with their baby, this room would be occupied by a tiny individual created by Callum and Jess. She smiled happily, a true genuine smile, something which she hadn't done since her father's death a week ago. She walked across the room to the full length window that looked out over their garden. She sat in the rocking chair, hugging the pillow to her, feeling her baby kick under her ribs. She sat back, rocking slowly back and forth. The weak October sun poured through the flimsy nets, and Jess watched dust motes lazily spin in the air.
What if the storm ends?
And I don't see you
As you are now
Ever again
The perfect halo
Of gold hair and lightning
Sets you off against
The planets last dance
"Hey." a quiet voice said from the door. Jess looked up and beamed when she saw her best friend standing there, flowers in her arms.
"Hey yourself. Come on in." Jess said, getting to her feet with some difficulty and moving forward to embrace Sally.
"These are for you, I thought they might brighten up the hospital room." Sally said with a smile, setting them on the dresser.
"Thanks, they're beautiful. We were going to drop by the station on the way to the hospital, I just have to sign off on some paperwork." Jess explained.
"Oh right, that's good then cause we've got some stuff for you and the baby there." Sally said with a grin.
"I told you all to not get anything else for the baby! Baby Stone is already way too spoiled and he's not even here yet!" Jess said exasperatedly, a smile peeking through.
"I know I know, but it's so long since someone has had a baby at work." Sally answered. "Anyway, I just came by to see how you are before you go in."
"I'm ok, really I am." Jess said, and this was in part true.
"Don't lie. You're crap at it." Sally teased. Jess laughed.
"That's true. Ok, I'm better than I was. But, getting closer to the baby being born, it just makes it hurt a little bit more that my baby is going to miss out on the most wonderful granddad ever." Jess said sadly.
"Oh honey, I know it's going to be so hard, but you'll get through it, you will. You still have your mum, and aren't Andy and his girlfriend moving into the house with her?" Sally asked.
"Yeah they are. Mum was all for selling and getting herself somewhere smaller, but Andy said that dad wouldn't have wanted her on her own away from her family, so they decided that he would move in, and then he asked Mia, and luckily she said yes. They'll be moved in within the month." Jess replied.
"Well there you go then. And you have the most loving husband who is completely and deeply in love with you and who would do anything for you and your baby." Sally said with a nod.
"Yeah I do. I just feel bad cause I haven't been paying much attention to him lately you know? I don't want him to think I'm pulling away from him, because I'm not, it's just I need to deal with some things on my own." Jess said quietly.
"I'm sure he understands Jess, but just talk to him a bit, let him know that you're slowly healing." Sally said encouragingly. Jess nodded, "You're terrible for trying to deal with things on your own. Let him in Jess, he's always been there for you, before you were even together, and you know he'll do anything to help you."
"I know, it's a big flaw of mine. But it's just hard to be open all the time you know? But yeah, I need to try harder, Callum has been nothing but supportive and loving and I need to let him in more. Thanks for the pep talk Sal." Jess said with a small smile bumping her shoulder against Sally's, "You will come and see me when I'm laid up being watched like a hawk by all the midwives won't you?"
Sally laughed, "Of course I will be silly! Every other day I'll be up there, and we can cause havoc just like we do at the station. If you write down visiting times, I'll pin it up on a notice board at work so that anyone else who wants to can come see you, if that's alright." Sally questioned.
"Yeah that's lovely, the more the merrier!" Jess said happily.
"Ok sweetie, well I better be off to work. I might see you later when you swing by, but if I don't, good luck, and I'll be in to see you in a few days, ok?" Sally said, pulling Jess into a close hug. The baby kicked hard, making Sally jump.
"I think the baby likes auntie Sal already." Jess said with a wink, watching as Sally left the nursery and waved before heading down the stairs. She heard the front door shut with a dull thud before making her way out the nursery. She picked up the holdall, slowly going downstairs.
Just for a minute
The silver-forked sky
Lit you up like a star
That I will follow
But now it's found us
Like I have a found you
I don't wanna run
Just overwhelm me
"You ready?" Callum asked, placing warm hands on Jess' waist. She turned around, hugging him tightly. "Hey, what's that for?"
"I love you, that's all." she said with a small smile.
"Oh well, is that all?" he said cheekily, earning a hit on the arm.
"Ok, I think I got everything." she said, quickly going through her mental list of stuff she needed to take with her.
"You got all your clothes, baby clothes, books, photos, the TV..." Callum trailed off with a grin.
"Hey! I'm not that bad! I just want it to feel a bit more homely, is that alright Mr Stone? You're not going to be the one cooped up in there for at least two or three weeks!" Jess protested.
"Actually I am." Callum said with a nod.
"What? No you numpty, you'll be at work, doing fun things like chasing criminals and beating on Will and Nate." Jess said in a sulky tone.
"No I won't. I've spoken to the Inspector and my hours have been temporarily reduced whilst you're here, and then once the baby is born I'll be on paternity leave, and then once paternity leave is over I'm taking the rest of my holiday time, which is about two weeks. So you're stuck with me unfortunately." he said with a big smile, gently cupping Jess' baby bump.
"Callum Stone, I do love you, you know." she said softly, reaching up to kiss him, so grateful for this man, so unlike Dan.
"I know. Come on then, let's pack up the car and swing by the station before we go to the hospital." Callum said, slinging the holdall over his shoulder. He walked out of the house first, putting Jess' stuff in the car. She took one last look round her home before following him out, locking the door behind her. As the car pulled away, she kept her eyes on the house until it disappeared out of sight.
What if the storm ends?
At least that's nothing
Except the memory
A distant echo
I won't pin down
Jess wiped a last tear from her eye as she got out of the car. The visit to Sun Hill had been good for her, good to see all her friends again; it felt like things were back to normal again, as if she hadn't nearly died and her baby with her, as if her father hadn't died. She felt like her again, who she used to be, Jessica Stone the police officer. It felt great.
She had been to see Gina first, to sign off on paperwork, and had spent a long time just talking to her Inspector. Then on to Smithy and some of the others in the canteen, where she sat and drank tea while many of her colleagues came up and rubbed her bump, commenting how big she was. Nate and Will came in just as she was finishing her tea with a package in their hands. They came up to Jess, smiled and handed it to her.
"What's this?" she asked suspiciously.
"Jeez, you're a police officer Jess, use your powers of logic to guess!" Nate said.
"Yeah, did you forget to be a police officer as soon as you got pregnant?" Will asked, earning a sharp jab in the ribs from Beth.
"Alright, I can see it's a package, but what's in it? If it's anything that is going to make me jump or scare me, let me give you some words of advice." she said, pausing to glare at them, "I will pepper spray you and cuff you to the table so fast you won't even have realised it, and I will leave you there and take the key with me to the hospital."
Will and Nate exchanged a look and a grin, "Yes ma'am, cor, don't be so touchy! Just open it already!"
"My wife's a badass!" Callum said happily, taking a seat next to Jess. Jess gave them one final look before peeling the tape off. She pulled the paper off and was left with a bright pink t-shirt. She turned it over and read the caption on the front, blushed, and then shook her head at the two men.
"What does it say?" Beth asked.
Jess laughed before turning the t-shirt round so they could all read it. On the front of the top on the stomach area, in thick black lettering, it said, "This is what happens when you party naked."
"I'd run now if I were you, before she gets up and beats you." Smithy said with a grin.
"Thank you very much, I'll be sure to wear it." Jess said, giving them a hug.
"You better! We put a great deal of thought into what to get you!" Nate said with a nod.
"Hmm, sure you did." Callum said with a wink, rubbing Jess' belly. "We better go before the doc blows her lid."
Jess sighed but nodded, "Yeah guess so. Ok, I've gotta go and start my sentence in the hospital. You better all come visit me!"
"Sure we will, we'll bring you all our paperwork to do as well, cause you know you're gonna be so bored that anything will look like fun, even paperwork." Will said cheekily.
"I wouldn't if I were you Will..." Jess threatened with a beam. Callum helped her to her feet and watched as she said goodbye to her friends. He could see in her eyes that she was starting to get upset, so he gently took her hand in his, kissed the back of it, and led her slowly out the station. She took one last look at the sign at the front of the station, her workplace, her second home, the place where she met her soulmate, before getting into the car.
I've walked unsettled
Rattle cage after cage
Until my blood boils
I wanna see you
As you are now
Finally she was settled in. Because of her condition, and the fact that she was going to be in the hospital for a good while, Jess had been given her own private room near to the midwives station. She had placed her clothes in the small dresser next to the bed, with her i-pod and laptop in a drawer with DVD's and books to stave off boredom, and her make-up bag and lotions were in the en-suite bathroom. She had just sat down when Dr Mathieson came in, a smile on her face.
"Mrs Stone, nice to see you again, shame it couldn't be on better terms really." the doctor said kindly, perching on the side of Jess' bed. "How've you been the past ten days?"
"Ok I guess. I haven't felt dizzy or nauseous or anything, well, not anymore than is normal." Jess answered.
"Good. Have you been under any stress lately?" she asked.
Jess paused before nodding, "Yeah, my dad, he...he passed away just under a week ago. We buried him the day before yesterday. They wanted to bury him while I was still able to, so they rushed it."
Dr Mathieson looked sympathetic as she took Jess' hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, "I'm so sorry, I really am. The death of a parent is a horrific thing to endure, let alone having to endure it when you're nearly eight months pregnant and suffering from pre-eclampsia."
"Thank you. It was hard, really hard when I found out, but thanks to my husband, my family and my friends, I've gotten through so far. My dad would want me to concentrate on staying well for the baby, and that's what I plan to do." Jess said resolutely.
"That's good that you're staying strong. Now I just want to do some tests, just to see how you and baby are doing." the Dr said, getting off the bed and hooking Jess up to some machines. "Now as you know, pre-eclampsia means that we'd like to get the baby out sooner rather than later. So once I've done all my tests, I can give you a date of when we'll induce you to set things off, alright? The sooner the better though."
"What if I go into labour before then?" Jess asked.
"We'll monitor you closely, see how much labour affects you and the baby, and we'll make a decision then." the doctor answered.
"If she does have to have a caesarean, will I be able to be there for the birth?" Callum asked.
"Hopefully yes, but it all depends on the circumstances of the delivery." the doctor replied, taking Jess' blood pressure and writing everything down on her charts. "I'm just going to go and get the ultrasound machine, back in a minute."
"Oh god, I really don't want a caesarean." Jess muttered into her hands.
"Why not? You won't have to go through any pain, and you won't need any stitches you know...down there." he said, his voice drifting off at the end of the sentence. Jess couldn't help but laugh.
"Yes dear, you're right, because that would be the worst of my worries wouldn't it." she said, stroking his cheek whilst shaking her head fondly.
"You know what I meant! As long as you're ok, and the baby is ok, and as long as I can be there, it'll be perfect." Callum said happily, kissing Jess.
"Yeah, it will be perfect." Jess said with a grin.
Every single day
That I am living
Painted in flames
A peeling thunder
Be the lightning in me
That strikes relentless
A few days after Jess was admitted to hospital, a knock at the door to her room heralded the arrival of Sally and Beth, the latter holding a big box in her arms. They walked in, smiling at Jess, setting the box down on the small table.
"Hi! What are you both doing here, I thought you were working today?" Jess said, getting up to give them both a hug.
"We were but we got it swapped off so thought we'd spend the day with you!" Beth said with a smile.
"That would be lovely, if you're sure! Mum's coming in a minute, she'd love to see you both. We were going to get a coffee, do you want to come down?" Jess offered, swapping her flip flops for her trainers.
"It looked pretty busy down there when we walked past, why don't we meet your mum down there and get some drinks to bring back?" Sally suggested.
"Sure, or there's a nice garden just the other side of the cafe, if it's dry." Jess replied, grabbing her bag.
"Sounds like a plan. I'm just going to go for a wee then will catch you up." Beth said, exchanging a quick look with Sally that didn't get past Jess, but she didn't say anything.
"Ok, what do you want and we'll get it ordered." Jess offered.
"Pumpkin spice latte please and thanks." Beth said with a grin, "And before you both say it, yes I know that's a basic bitch drink."
Sally and Jess laughed at their friend, "You said it not us! Meet you down there in a mo."
The two blondes left Jess' room, and Beth got to work.
What if the storm ends?
And I don't see you
As you are now
Ever again
"It's so nice how the cafe staff know you by name already!" Michelle commented, as they walked back up to the ward where Jess was staying.
"Just goes to show how often I go down there, all my mat leave money is being spent on decaf coffee and hot chocolate…and the odd pastry here and there." Jess said with a chuckle.
"Well it's nice, makes a difference when people know your name." Michelle smiled at the midwives as they entered the ward.
"Home sweet home," Jess said sarcastically, pushing open the door to her room and pausing in the doorway. She looked around her room, at the pink and blue balloons everywhere, to the cupcakes stacked on her table, to the Baby Shower banner hanging across her window, to Beth standing in the middle with a ta dah pose and a guilty smile.
Jess turned to face her mum and Sally, "What's all this?"
"Well we had planned this to be in that beautiful little coffee shop on the high street, you know the one with the amazing cakes, but then you got ill, and then your father…and well, we still wanted you to have a baby shower darling." Michelle said, sniffing away the tears threatening to fall.
"I can't believe you've done this for me." Jess said, starting to cry.
Beth hurried over to her, a panicked look on her face, pulling Jess gently into her room and sitting her on the bed, "Jess the midwives will kill us if they see we've made you cry! Think of your blood pressure!"
Jess laughed through her tears, laying her head on Beth's shoulder as she gave her a sideways hug, "You're right, they will kill you."
"Are you ok?" Sally asked, coming to squat in front of her, taking Jess' hands in hers, looking closely at her best friend.
"I am, promise. I just didn't expect a baby shower, not after everything…but the fact that you still did this for me, even when the circumstances are less than ideal…thank you. You're the bestest friends I could ever want. And mum, of course you know there's no better mum, truly." Jess said with a sniff, laughing again as she wiped her tears away.
"Let's sort your face out, we can't have you looking red and blotchy in the photos. If the midwives don't kill us, Callum will for making you cry." Beth grimaced, before laughing and taking Jess into the small ensuite to freshen her up.
The perfect halo
Of gold hair and lightning
Sets you off against
The planets last dance
Jess had been in the hospital for a week and a half. Well, that's what she was told, but she was convinced that she'd been stuck there for at least a month. The thing with the hospital was that there didn't seem to be the split between day and night, it all just rolled into one. It threw her the first few nights, her body clock was completely out of whack. Eventually she got used to the screaming of women in labour, and the midwives and doctors rushing past her door, and the flickering of the light in her room. The thing with Jess was that she didn't like waiting. It was something she hated. There was nothing to do, nothing that could be done, because you were waiting, so couldn't risk doing anything for fear of missing it. But with Jess, it was the fact that she was barely allowed to move so couldn't do anything anyway.
As promised, her friends had been to see her, some like Sally had been everyday. The baby shower had been just what Jess needed after those first few days in hospital, to have some normalcy. As the days progressed, her friends from the station came in, and talked to her about their cases; it almost took her mind off of where she was and why she was there.
Her mum had been in every morning, telling Jess the stories of her labour with Andy and how she nearly gave birth to him on the kitchen floor. She had Jess in stitches of laughter at how her dad, while she was in labour with Jess, had walked into the wrong room in the hospital and seen some poor women with her legs in stirrups who wasn't his wife.
Andy had been once while in the area, but hadn't stayed for long; he was struggling returning to the hospital his father had died in. Jess had been surprised her mum had been able to come in daily, but Michelle had reassured Jess that nothing, not even Robert dying in the same hospital, would stop her being there for her daughter and newest grandchild. So sure, Jess had plenty of distractions, and the fact that Callum was with her most of the time helped, but she still hated the damn waiting.
One night after Sally had gone, Callum helped Jess out of the bed and into the bathroom, running her a deep bath. There was nothing she enjoyed more than soaking in a hot bath with a good book and some wine. Well, she couldn't have wine, so Callum had substituted it with chocolate for her instead. She climbed into the bath, and Callum took the opportunity to get out of the hospital for some air. Jess relaxed in the water, stretching out her aching bones and muscles. She drifted into a light sleep, the sloshing of water soothing her tired body. She awoke with a start at a stiff pain in her belly. Her hand shot to the place where it was hurting, and she lurched forward in the bath.
Just for a minute
The silver-forked sky
Lit you up like a star
That I will follow
"Callum?" she called tentatively. She heard movement from the other room, and Callum appeared in the doorway. He looked at her panicked face, at her hand cupping her stomach, and rushed over with a towel. He grabbed her hands, pulling her from the bath and wrapping her tight.
"What is it? Did you get a pain?" he asked her, quickly, staring intently at her face.
"Oh I don't know, it felt like a contraction." Jess said, not daring to breathe.
"Right, um, get on the bed and I'll get a midwife." Callum said, helping her onto the bed and running out the room. He returned seconds later with a midwife.
"Your husband tells me you had a pain." the midwife asked with a smile while connecting Jess to the machines.
"It was here," Jess said, indicating her belly and her lower back, "It felt a lot like a contraction."
"Can you describe the pain for me?" the midwife asked, checking Jess' chart.
"It's like a cramp, a really bloody painful cramp." Jess answered.
"Ok Jess, I'm going to let the monitor run for 10 to 15 minutes or so while I call the doctor to assess you. Your blood pressure is a bit high so I'm going to bring your medication forward, I'll go and grab that now. Do you want any pain relief?" the midwife asked.
"Yeah just some paracetamol please. Is the baby ok?" Jess asked, peering at the monitor.
"So far so good. Let me get all your meds, be back in a minute." the midwife said with a smile. She returned five minutes later, handing Jess the paracetamol and blood pressure medication. "I'm going to check your blood pressure in half an hour to make sure these are kicking in, and the doctor will be up shortly. Had anymore pains?"
"Just one I think. They're not really painful but I can definitely feel them." Jess said, wincing as another one built.
The midwife nodded and smiled, "Ok, I'll be back with the doctor when she arrives, just buzz me if you need anything in the meantime."
But now it's found us
Like I have found you
I don't wanna run
Just overwhelm me
Thirty minutes later and the midwife returned with the doctor.
"Hi Jess, I'm Tash the doctor on call. Marie has just updated me with what's going on. How are the pains now?" the doctor asked, looking at the monitoring.
"Definitely there, not really a pattern I don't think but the paracetamol hasn't done anything so far." Jess answered, holding tightly to Callum's hand.
"Has her blood pressure come down?" Tash asked Marie.
Marie shook her head, "Not really, I'll check again in half an hour. Everything else is normal though."
"Ok Jess, are you happy for me to examine you? Just to see what these contractions are doing? High blood pressure can make you labour quickly sometimes, so we don't want to be caught off guard." Tash said kindly.
"Yeah sure fine." Jess nodded, Callum helping her get ready.
Tash sat on the bed, apologising as Jess winced during the examination, "Right, there's definitely changes to your cervix. It's started to open, you're about 2cms dilated but it's soft and stretchy. I think we should move you to delivery suite to keep a close eye on you and see if this progresses. Currently, baby is happy, so we just need your blood pressure to cooperate. Do you understand?"
"So, is she going into labour?" Callum asked hesitantly.
"It seems so, but it's very early on, so we just need to watch and wait currently. You need to stay hooked up to the machines now so that we can monitor that baby's heartbeat as well as Jess'. Any questions before I ring delivery suite?" Marie asked. The couple shook their heads, and Marie and Tash left.
"Oh my god." Callum said in shock. Jess looked at him in concern.
"What? What's up?" she asked quickly.
"Our baby is coming." he said with a big face splitting grin. Jess nodded and laughed loudly, Callum joining in.
I don't wanna run
Just overwhelm me
A few hours had passed, and Jess had been moved to the delivery suite. Things were progressing well and she was indeed in labour. The doctor's and midwives were monitoring her closely, checking for any concerning signs with her or the baby. Her blood pressure had slowly been rising, and although they were giving her medication to lower it it wasn't working. The doctor had suggested an epidural, not because she wasn't handling the pain, but because as a side effect it lowers blood pressure. Jess was happy to do anything to keep her and the baby safe, so the epidural was put in and her blood pressure came down slightly with it.
The contractions were slowly getting closer together, although her waters still hadn't broken. Jess' latest contraction had just passed, and she was sitting back against the cushions holding Callum's hand when he suddenly spoke.
"I just realised something." he said.
"What would that be?" Jess asked tiredly, slowly looking over at him.
"We haven't thought of any names for the baby." he replied.
"No, you're right we haven't! How did we not do that!" she said with a laugh. When she thought about it, at the beginning of the pregnancy she'd been so anxious that she dared not think of any names, in case this baby was stolen from her like her others. Then as the pregnancy had progressed she'd been ill on and off, then her dad became unwell, then she became unwell, and then it was time to have the baby.
"Well, I've been thinking, and if it's a girl, I thought of the name Molly, with Grace as her middle name after you." he said tentatively.
"Molly Grace Stone." Jess said, trying the name on for size. She placed a hand on her stomach, as did Callum, "Are you a Molly, little one? Is that going to be your name?" The couple laughed as the baby kicked Callum's hand.
"I think the baby likes it." he said with a smile.
"Either that or it's a boy so he hates it." she replied.
"I also thought of a boy's name." Callum said.
"Go on." Jess encouraged.
"Oliver." Callum said shyly.
"Oliver Stone. I like it. But I was thinking about boy's names as well, and I was thinking that if it's a boy, I'd like him to have James somewhere in his name, for dad." Jess said quietly.
"I love it. James Stone." he said.
"James Oliver Stone." Jess said with a smile.
"Looks like name's are sorted then." Callum said with a laugh. He reached out to stroke her cheek when she suddenly pitched forward, her arms pushed to her stomach. She let out a cry of pain. "What, what is it, what's hurting?"
"I think my waters just broke." she said through the pain. Callum lifted up the blanket, seeing not water on the sheets, but bright red blood.
Song: Snow Patrol- What If The Storm Ends?