I do not own Harry Potter, the Wizarding World, or any canon characters.
Hello everyone, hope all are doing well.
A bit of history for you all. I believe the very first piece of Harry Potter related writing I ever did was years ago to a prompt put on the Writing Prompts subreddit entitled: It's a beautiful day at Hogwarts, and you're a terrible goose. I was so amused by it, I replied to it and I truly believe that is what led me to doing more Harry Potter prompts, when then led me to the Harry Potter Fanfiction subreddit, and well, a few years later here we are. You can actually read the original piece in my Random Reddit Ramblings collection.
A few weeks ago, I had just written some heavier emotional chapters that will be a part of an upcoming series and was in a bit of a mood. That coupled with real life things put me in a dour place and I didn't know what to do. I then saw a thread that led me back to the original blurb and got a rather inane idea, and thus this came about. It's silly and made me laugh and should not be taken seriously at all. I hope you all enjoy it too.
Oh and for all of you that know me, look out for the second edit of this one shot that will be posted next week.
All my best to all of you. Have a lovely day.
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Untitled Harry Potter Fanfiction
It was a lovely and peaceful day but unbeknownst to everyone, it would not remain so.
At the moment, it was idyllic. The rising sun shone brightly down on the land below. Soft fluffy clouds were in the sky, enhancing the beautiful blue of the open air instead of marring it. A light breeze stirred the leaves of the trees and rippled across the surface of the open water. Despite their names, the Forbidden Forest and the Black Lake respectively, their appearance did not match that day. Long grass rippled along the ground, much like the waves over the Lake, adding to the soft tranquility.
The ancient castle also looked warm and comforting. The large grey stones that made the castle were inviting instead of deterring, the many windows glittered and gleamed. While originally built as a castle, a place of safety to withstand assault and siege, it was also a school now: Hogwarts, school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, one of the finest institutions for magical learning the world over. It loomed over forest and lake, over wood and water, and was a symbol of learning as much as stolid safety.
A sound broke through the still morning, covering the sounds of birdsong and nature. It was warm, the brazen tones of a large bell made of bronze and brass. The bell of Hogwarts tolled at specific times of the day. To end classes, to announce meals, to herald other moments of importance. It could be heard as far as the magical village of Hogsmeade, located a short distance away from the school. Practically everyone was used to it after the first few days. It was another sound that was a part of Hogwarts and the land surrounding it, expected and comforting.
However, this day, there was something new that heard the bell for the first time. It had arrived in the area for no apparent reason but once the bell tolled, it stopped and went towards the source of the sound. Hiding in the edges of the Forest and the Lake, black beady eyes stared at the castle. When the bell went silent, it moved closer. It had heard the large bell. It wanted to investigate the bell.
It was a beautiful day, but it would not remain a peaceful one for very long.
-0-
Like most things, it began slowly and in seemingly unrelated ways.
Rubeus Hagrid, the gentle giant of Hogwarts, was doing his morning walk before going in for breakfast. He was the groundskeeper, the keeper of the keys, and the professor for Care of Magical Creatures and part of his duties was to ensure the care and safety of the grounds, something he took quite seriously. So most mornings he did a patrol before getting on with the rest of his day.
He walked along, humming tunelessly to himself before he stopped. He looked over at one of the vegetable patches he helped maintain and frowned slightly. "What's this then?" Walking over, he looked at the scarecrow that stood at the end of the patch. It was a simple one, made by his own hand, and the genial smile that he carved onto the face of the scarecrow belied its purpose somewhat, that and the beard made of vine and thistle. Normally it was fairly mundane as scarecrows went but something was different about it. Normally the stuffed figure held a long hoe in one hand, a gardening cultivator in the other, and wore a broad straw hat. Only the hoe and cultivator were missing and the hat had been replaced with a watering can.
Hagrid took the can off and brushed the scarecrow down and looked around some. He could not find the hat but did find the hoe some distance away, looking like it had been dragged a small distance and was used to get over a pile of rocks that he had built up for another project. "How'd you get here?" he asked the hoe and the hoe did not reply. He looked around for the cultivator but that was missing as well.
Shaking his head, he took the implement back to the scarecrow and scratched his large bushy beard in thought. "Hmm. Maybe the nifflers got to it, but it's not shiny enough for them normally. And they wouldn't steal the hat. Can't even climb up to get it normally. Maybe it's just a prank by one of the students. I'll look later. Same with the cultivator."
He walked off, back to his rounds, and missed a small form leaving the other direction away from him, wearing the straw hat.
-0-
Argus Filch was the caretaker of Hogwarts, and one of the less pleasant individuals at the castle. The man was perpetually irritated it seemed, swift to anger with a sharp tongue. His cat, Mrs. Norris, shared his cantankerous nature and the duo were always on the watch for rule-breaking and mess-making in the school.
"Oh what now?!" he groaned as he turned the corner and saw a row of footprints made from mud, marring the once clean stone. He angrily grabbed a mop from a cupboard and began cleaning the mud up. "What made these?! When I get my hands on the kid that did this, so much punishment!" He grumbled as he mopped, not noticing the curious shape of the footprints. He continued to mop until a sound broke through his grumbling and mumbling.
"I'm coming!" he shouted, running off when he recognized the sound. "I'm coming my sweet!" He rounded the corner and threw the door open to a small cupboard, pulling his cat out gently. "What happened?! Who did this to you?!"
Mrs. Norris yowled angrily, hissing. She waved her paws and Filch looked with angry eyes in the direction she waved. He knelt down and picked up the straw hat. "Don't worry," he crooned to his vexed companion. "We'll get to the bottom of this and they'll be soundly punished!"
-0-
One normally did not try to irritate Severus Snape, professor of Potions at Hogwarts and Head of Slytherin House if they had any sense of self-preservation. The man's default mood was dour normally, easily falling into caustic and retaliatory at the drop of the hat. The man could find fault no matter how small or mundane and punish it severely without reservation. His attitude was legendary and typically, only the bravest and the most foolhardy would dare risk his ire.
Therefore, when he saw the state of one of his potion ingredient storerooms, even he paused at the audacity of the state it was in. Bottles were strewn about, no longer in carefully placed rows with the labels facing forward. Bins were open, their contents partially pulled out. A bag of bouncing beans had been torn open and the beans were merrily bouncing around the storeroom, causing even more havoc. The sandweed had been watered and it dripped onto the stone, making a gooey morass of sand and water.
He reached down and picked up one thing that looked even more out of place somehow. He stared at it, the only thing he could focus on in this massive mess. He poked the object with his wand and could only stare at the results of his Identifying Charm, as if not believing the results. Finally his frustrations bubbled over and he shouted wordlessly but there was no mistaking the fury in his voice.
He angrily stalked down the hall towards his office when he stopped once more, something else catching his attention. He turned and stared at the door to one of the rooms in the castle dungeon, repurposed from its original use into a spare classroom. However something made him pause and he held his wand at the ready before opening the door.
Eyes widened in horror as water spilled from the room, flowing around him and flooding the hall. He gaped at the broken window within the room. It was one of the few to have one down in the dungeons and most of them did not have any because the dungeons were adjacent to the Black Lake. Normally the windows were well enchanted to prevent this very instance but somehow, the window was cracked open and lake water was flowing into the castle.
An even louder howl of rage filled the air, clearly heard over the sound of rushing water.
-0-
Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, looked at the flooded hallway with raised eyebrows. "I am honestly not even mad," he said at last. "My curiosity outweighs my anger over this. How did this happen?"
Filius Flitwick, Charms professor and Head of Ravenclaw, looked up from the window. "It appears this was used to open the window," he said, holding up a small hand tool with three bent prongs.
"A cultivator?" Dumbledore asked, taking it from the shorter man. "I believe this is normally held by Thistlebeard."
"Thistlebeard?" Snape asked, momentarily no longer furious.
"Hagrid's scarecrow, the guardian of the corner garden plot," Dumbledore said.
Snape's anger returned twice fold. "What is it doing in here and how did it open the window?!"
"It is magical," Flitwick said in a soothing tone. "And magical enough to disrupt the magic around the window, somehow." Flitwick waved his wand and the magic around the window reknit itself, reforming the seal and water no longer trickled in. "Of course I am rather curious as well. One of the prongs was set into the weakest part of the window, the smallest point really, and with just enough leverage, the window was cracked open. If there was more force or the wrong spot, either the window would have ignored it or the window would have exploded and the entire dungeons would have flooded in moments."
He tapped a finger to his chin. "Which leads me to another question."
"Why are there windows in the dungeon?" Dumbledore asked.
"Why are there windows in the dungeon," Flitwick nodded, repeating the words.
"One of the former heads thought it would bring some more cheer down here."
"A view of the bottom of the Lake would bring some cheer?" Flitwick asked incredulously.
"Allegedly," Dumbledore said, smiling at Flitwick's rich snort. "I have been meaning to ask, Severus, what are you holding?"
Snape shook the object angrily. "A carrot, Headmaster."
"I see," Dumbledore said with a benign smile. "Is it a special carrot?"
"No, it is a literal garden variety carrot with no magical properties," Snape seethed. "And it was in my private storeroom."
"What was it doing there?" Flitwick asked, intrigued.
"That is what I want to know!" Snape led them to his storeroom and he sighed at the even more chaotic state of it, the beans having bounced even more wildly in the time it took for him to discover the flooding and calling for the Headmaster. "I opened my storeroom to this!"
"Not your usual attention to cleanliness," Dumbledore remarked. He waved his wand and gently gathered the no longer bouncing beans back into the torn sack and repaired it. The storeroom slowly settled back to its natural order. "Surely a student would not have done this."
"Who else?!" Snape said angrily.
"Who else indeed," Dumbledore mused. He frowned slightly, seeing something out of place. He leaned down and pulled it out of a box of tangled plant material.
"What is that?" Flitwick asked, looking at it.
"A clue of sorts," Dumbledore said, inspecting the white feather he held between thumb and index finger.
"I knew he was responsible," Snape spat, glaring at the feather. "I will have his hide for this!"
"Who?" Flitwick asked, nonplussed.
"Let us not jump to conclusions quite yet," Dumbledore said in a placating way. He sighed as Snape had already left, his robe billowing around him as he ran down the hall towards the stairs to lead up to the castle proper. "Oh dear. We better follow."
"Who is Severus referring to?" Flitwick asked, following Dumbledore.
Dumbledore smiled genially. "Who do you think when it comes to Severus?"
Flitwick snorted. "Ah, of course. But why now-oh. White feather. Even with the evidence, I don't think it is likely."
"Neither do I, but we might as well do our due diligence," Dumbledore said.
-0-
"Potter!"
Harry Potter groaned as he heard his name yelled in anger. He was more or less used to it from certain individuals but it always involved more trouble for him. He stopped walking and turned, waiting for the yeller to get closer.
"What did you do?" Hermione Granger, one of his best friends asked, looking at him curiously.
"I don't know," Harry said honestly, making her smile. Both of them blanched a little when Snape appeared, looking even more furious than normal.
"Explain this!" Snape shouted and threw the carrot at Harry.
Harry caught it easily but looked at the carrot confusedly. "It's…a carrot? I think it's a normal one. Are there magical carrots?"
Hermione tilted her head. "I don't know off the top of my head but it wouldn't surprise me if there were."
"What was it doing in my storeroom and what were you doing in my storeroom?!" Snape bellowed.
Harry resisted taking an involuntary step back but could not resist scowling back at Snape. "I don't know and nothing!" He sighed with relief when Dumbledore and Flitwick appeared behind the incensed man. "Hello Sir, Professor," he said gratefully.
"Harry, Miss Granger," Dumbledore said with a calm smile. "Perhaps we should continue this discussion in my office." He gently ushered the two students in front of him, standing between them and Snape and while he projected a soothing demeanor, his eyes twinkled from undisguised mirth.
-0-
"What happened here?!"
Pomona Sprout, Head of Hufflepuff and professor of Herbology looked around her greenhouse with abject shock. Depending on the greenhouse, there were varying states of order in them. Some plants grew better in ordered rows and carefully cultivated spaces while others grew better in slightly less constrained conditions. She knew which were which of course and planned accordingly.
This greenhouse was normally fairly ordered but was in a current state of chaos. The flutterbye seedlings mingled with the butterstrand fronds, turning one of the planter boxes into a riot of moving plants and flying petals. Her stack of fertilizer sacks was laid out in a way to allow someone or something to walk across them without touching the floor. The creeping tentacula, a cousin to the venomous tentacula, was all coiled up and its vines and creepers knotted together, waving angrily and impotently. Other bits and things were strewn about and she looked around with wide eyes and a wider mouth.
"Goodness me, what a mess. I don't think any students have been here. Did something get in?" She waved her wand and frowned as her charm revealed ambient magic, which it would, and the traces of something else but she had no idea what. With a loud huff, she waved her wand and things began to orient themselves. A few things she bent down to pick up by hand and she put them back on shelves where they belonged.
"I better go check the other greenhouses too," she muttered as she scooped up a bit of fabric that was tied into a bow. Absent-mindedly, she put the bow on a statue that stood by the door, smiling at the appearance. She then walked to the creeping tentacula and began the arduous process of unknotting the vines, scolding it gently when it slapped back at her irritably. So caught up in her work and thoughts, she did not notice that when she left, the statue was no longer there, nor was the bow that she decorated it with.
-0-
"Harry, do you know where your owl is?"
Harry blinked at the Headmaster's question. "Hedwig? Like right now? I sent a letter the other day but I think she came back this morning or should have."
"Would you summon her please?"
"Sure." Harry thought about Hedwig and felt the familiar loving tingle in his heart and knew she was coming. "What's this about?"
Dumbledore coughed as Snape glared at Harry. "There appears to be some…disruptions about the castle."
"Okay, but what does that have to do with Hedwig?" Harry asked, confused.
"Well we have found some of these at the various scenes," Dumbledore explained, revealing several white feathers of varying size. "This one was in Professor Snape's storeroom along with the offending vegetable and his things out of order. We also ran into Mr. Filch and he showed us a hat that had been taken from one of Professor Hagrid's scarecrows and more feathers were stuck inside."
Harry only had to take one look at the feathers before snorting. "And you think Hedwig had something to do with those? That's hilariously wrong."
"You have the only white owl in the school," Snape hissed.
Harry narrowed his eyes back, surprising the three professors, but not Hermione. She knew Harry had no problems sticking up and standing behind people he cared for and Hedwig was at the top of the list. "And?" he replied.
"And the feathers are white!" Snape retorted triumphantly.
"Yeah but they aren't speckled and mottled like a female snowy owl's feathers first of all. Second of all, they're obviously not owl feathers. Hermione could have told you that with her eyes closed."
"I could?" Hermione looked at him with surprise. "I know I know a lot about lots of things, but I'm not a bird specialist."
"Yeah but you have five quills you use on the regular for very specific purposes," Harry said without censure. "And one of your favorite quills is a goose-feather quill because it's sturdy and holds a nib well, either cut into or a replaceable or mountable one."
"Oh hey that's right!" She beamed at him, smiling happily. "Also, these are definitely goose feathers."
Harry flushed a little before turning back to a fond and proud Dumbledore, an amused Flitwick, and an even more angry Snape. "So those aren't snowy owl feathers, therefore not Hedwig's, and she can't be the culprit."
"Besides, it is a bit unreasonable to assume Hedwig would do any of that," Flitwick said.
Harry winced. "Well, I mean, in the interest of fairness, she could and would if she needed to. Or wanted to."
Dumbledore looked to the side and with a wave of his hand, one of his windows opened. A snowy owl swooped in, flapping her wings energetically. She barked a greeting to the people within the office, flying a circuit around the room before landing on Harry's head. She nodded politely to Dumbledore and Flitwick and gave Snape a cool look that surprised him with how much emotion there was in the gaze. She then barked at Hermione, waving a wing before she hopped onto Harry's shoulder to bonk her head against his and nuzzle him, cooing at him when he opened his arms for a hug that she smugly enjoyed.
"Thank you for coming," Dumbledore said politely and respectfully to Hedwig. "This might seem rude to you, but please know that none is intended. We are simply doing our due diligence in investigating things."
Hedwig opened one eye and narrowed the other, looking back at Dumbledore steadily.
Dumbledore gestured to the feathers on his desk. "Harry has already said so, and Miss Granger has confirmed, but to be sure, these are not your feathers, correct?"
Hedwig looked at the feathers for a brief moment before snorting and shaking her head. She hopped out of Harry's lap and onto the desk and she opened her wings wide, showing off her impressive wingspread and her feathers. She then pirouetted daintily, showing her tail feathers before she kicked the feathers on the desk with disdain.
"Thank you," Dumbledore said with utter sincerity. "Again, I apologize for even calling it to question, but we must try and do our best in investigating matters properly." He looked up when someone knocked on his door. "Yes?"
Sprout came walking in. "Albus! Something has been causing trouble in the greenhouses!" She stopped when she saw the people and owl within. "Oh, am I interrupting something?"
"It seems not," Dumbledore said. "You are also experiencing some disorder?"
"More than that," she snorted earthily. "My greenhouses are a mess! Things strewn about, things in odd places. Plants all mixed up. The tentacula tendrils have all been knotted up. Just general horrible chaos! Oh and I found these." She revealed a handful of small white feathers.
"Wow, those look like goose feathers, don't they, Professor?" Harry asked loudly.
Sprout blinked at him for a moment before she looked back at the feathers in her hand. "Well now that you mention it, I think you're right. I thought they felt familiar. I do prefer goose feather quills."
"And you didn't think they were snowy owl feathers, did you?" Harry asked, giving Snape a look that made him bristle.
"Not at all," Sprout said, giving Hedwig a confused look. "They feel differently and what would a snowy owl be doing in the greenhouses? Well save for the time you helped me with my rat problem, which thank you again by the way."
"So there is a goose roaming the school and causing trouble?" Flitwick mused. "Are there magical geese?"
"It looks like a domestic graylag goose feather," Hermione said, picking up one of the feathers. She flushed a little when the others looked at her. "I once looked up the types of geese and which made for the best quills."
"See, told you she'd know," Harry said triumphantly. "I expect an apology for Hedwig."
"The day I apologize to an owl is the day I-" Snape began before falling silent at the sight of Hedwig. The owl's feathers were puffed out in a very angry-looking way. Her large amber eyes were filled with mal intent and she hunched over the feathers on the desk, staring at them.
"Uh, Mister Potter, is she okay?" Flitwick asked with concern.
"Oh no, Hedwig, it'll be fine," Harry said hurriedly. He reached out for her. "I'm sure the professors will handle this and-"
"SKRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Hedwig's screech of rage filled the office, reverberating off the walls. Everyone save for Harry clapped their hands to their ears in a futile attempt to block the bloodcurdling scream. Even the magical portraits on the walls either followed suit or fled their paintings altogether. She then launched herself into the air and flew through the window with the window opening before her, rattling with the speed of them opening to prevent her from crashing through. Her screech of pure anger became a hunting keen that barely faded as she flew outside.
"Oh no," Harry groaned. He got to his feet with Hermione doing the same. "Hedwig really hates being blamed for someone's actions and she takes it personally that this other person is another bird with white feathers. She's going to hunt them down. I better follow and make sure she doesn't do anything rash." He ran out of the office with Hermione right behind him, leaving the four professors staring blankly after them.
-0-
The goose waddled down the hall, the bow still around its neck, and it stopped at an ornate door that bore a bronze eagle holding a knocker in its claws. The eagle, though made of metal, moved slightly, the head turning to peer down at the goose.
"What does an ill person expel in volume like a vehicle does to announce one's presence, along with a beast?"
"Honk."
"Perfectly said."
The door opened slowly and the goose waddled in, unperturbed and curious. The goose had wandered its way around the castle for a while now, unceasingly entertained by the large stone building and its contents. It had followed pictures and paintings as they moved. Silently followed ghosts who had not noticed. After exploring the grounds around Hagrid's cabin, it had visited the greenhouses before making its way into the castle's dungeons. Now, after more wandering, it had come to Ravenclaw tower and decided to explore.
While still mostly focused on the large bell it had heard, the goose had a curiosity that was aimless and free and would not be curtailed.
The Ravenclaw common room was a large and airy place, surrounded by tall windows that let the light in. Bookshelves ringed the room and created divides in the room itself, filled to the brim with all sorts of books. Members of Ravenclaw sat at tables or in chairs and couches, reading and doing work while debating with one another.
The goose looked around, a smooth pointed white head graced with black eyes and an orange-yellow beak moving gracefully with a long neck. It canted its head and followed a path through the bookshelves. It had heard raised voices and it was drawn to them. The goose found several older students towering over a younger one. The younger one had long blonde hair that was almost white, overlarge eyes that were normally full of dreamy curiosity. Now however, they were small and fearful, but she stood her ground against the rest.
"Please return my book, I was still using it," she said, her voice quiet.
"Well you can have it back when we're done with it," one of the older students sneered, her eyes dark and laced with irritation. "We need it now."
"At least we waited for you to get up from the desk, Loony," another hissed. "You can't go running to Professor Flitwick and claim we're bullying you."
The smaller girl, Luna Lovegood who was insultingly called Loony, stiffened. "I never said you were," she said frostily. "For you to say that means you think of your own actions."
They glowered at the smaller girl and surrounded her. One opened their mouth before stopping. "What's that sound?" she asked, looking around.
"What's that?!" another cried, finally seeing the goose.
The goose, seeing the uneven odds, and recognizing the malice in the stances of the other students, hissed angrily. It opened its wings, showing a very large wingspan, and after the warning hiss, flew into action. The goose attacked, honking loudly and smacked at the other students with large heavy wings and pecked with a very hard bill. The other students shrieked and screamed, panicked by the sudden attack. One of them threw the book she was holding at Luna who caught it, watching the scene unfold with giant eyes. One of the students whipped out her wand but dropped it when the goose bit her on the hand, making her scream. Their resolve broken, they fled, chased after by the irate goose.
"Thank you!" Luna called out, waving as the goose chased after the shrieking bullies.
-0-
Hedwig flew through the air, an owl on a mission. She landed in the vegetable patch and looked around, clacking her beak. She waddled up to Thistlebeard and looked it up and down, inspecting it closely. She stood tall and craned her neck, looking down at something in the dirt. Seeing something, she followed it to the greenhouses. She peered through the glass panes, inspecting the spaces within with a critical eye. After looking at the coiled vines of the various tentaculas, she nodded sharply and flapped her wings, flying back into the air. She flew back to the castle proper.
She was on the hunt.
-0-
Flitwick looked around the common room carefully. He had left Dumbledore's office and was found by one of his house prefects, asking for his help. He had rushed ahead, alarmed by this 'horrible beast' causing damage and destruction in his House's common room. When he ran in, he did see the room filled with shouting and shrieking students, books all over the place, and a veritable state of disorder.
After calming everyone down, he fixed the damages with flicks and sweeps of his wand. Chairs righted themselves, tables and desks back to where they belonged. Books were put back and he was duly impressed that one of the bookcases had come crashing down. No permanent damage was done to anything and anyone, thankfully, but it was one of the greatest disasters to befall the common room in many years.
Ravenclaws were not known for their wild parties after all.
He finally got to investigating what happened. No one could identify fully what the creature was. All agreed it was fairly large, white, and very mean. It had pecked and flew with wild abandon, sparing few in its wrath. After careful questioning, Flitwick had stood before the three original students who were attacked first. They shamefully confessed to bothering Luna before being attacked and while he was much shorter than they, Flitwick was very able to look down at them despite his diminutive stature.
"Okay, maybe we took her book without asking, but that doesn't mean she can attack us!" one of them cried.
"Miss Lovegood," Flitwick said kindly to the small girl standing beside a desk, "do you know the identity of the assailant?"
"No Professor," Luna said honestly. "I have never seen him before today."
"How did you know it was a him!" one of the other bullies said loudly.
Luna blinked at him. "I can recognize a male goose when I see one," she said coolly.
"A goose?" Flitwick asked, surprised.
"Yes Sir. A large male."
"Well how did it get into the common room?" a prefect muttered.
"It answered a riddle," Flitwick said after conferring with the magical construct that protected the entrance to the common room.
"A magical goose?" another student wondered.
Flitwick rubbed his chin, his thoughts falling into place. "You three, follow me. I warned you about bullying, and I see I must act accordingly," he said sternly and the three older students squirmed. He noticed Luna walking out of the common room, holding a large box in her arms. "Do you need assistance with that, Miss Lovegood?"
"No Sir," she said dreamily, holding the large box. "Thank you, though. I thought I would help removing things."
"Very good of you," Flitwick nodded. He snapped his fingers and left with the three bullies trailing him, their heads down.
Luna walked the other direction and rounded the corner into an empty corridor, listening intently. After a few moments she set the box down and patted it gently before returning to the common room. After a few more moments, the box opened and the goose hopped out of the box. It hissed at the direction where the bullies went before he smoothed his feathers and continued on his way.
-0-
"Oh hey you two," Ronald Weasley said, seeing Harry and Hermione run up to him. He blinked at them, seeing them breathing hard from running. "What's wrong?"
"Have you seen Hedwig?" Harry asked.
"Actually yeah, she flew that way," Ron said, pointing down the hall. "Looked proper pissed too."
"Thanks!" Harry said and ran the way Ron pointed.
"Harry, wait!" Hermione shouted, puffing as she chased after him. "You know I hate running!"
Ginny Weasley watched them run away. "Aren't you curious?" she asked her brother.
"A little, but I don't want to be involved if Hedwig's pissed," Ron said evenly.
"Fair enough," Ginny agreed.
-0-
"What in the world?!" Aurora Sinistra, professor of Astronomy, looked around her classroom with horror. She had left to return something to the library, walking for the exercise, and returned to her room in a state of chaos. The model she had in the center of the room of the planets had been thrown completely out of order and the telescopes she had in ordered rows were all pointing every which way.
"Who did this?! The Moon should be around Earth! Not Jupiter! And the shooting stars are shooting all over here and-Pluto! Poor Pluto, flung into the trash! That's no place for you! And…what happened to Uranus?!"
She moved around, trying to right the many wrongs, growing angrier all the while. As soon as things were back to being organized, she shrieked when the window to her room burst open and Hedwig came flying through. She stared incredulously at the snowy owl who landed on the sun and looked around the room with narrowed eyes.
"Hey! What are you…wait. You're Hedwig, right?" All of the professors were familiar with the snowy owl to varying degrees since she was the only snowy owl at the school. Sinistra blinked at the owl who was scanning the room. "Is everything okay?"
Hedwig did not answer directly, continuing to slowly scan the room. She stopped, looking at a closed cabinet and her eyes narrowed.
Sinistra followed the owl's gaze. "That's an empty cabinet. I've been meaning to either donate it to someone who needs it or find something to store in it and-wait, what are you doing! Dear Merlin!" Sinistra gasped as Hedwig flew into the air and grabbed a dangling chain with a large model of a meteor hanging off of it. Her jaw fell open when Hedwig flew around, swinging the meteor with her talons, and threw it like a mace on a chain at the cabinet. The heavy rock crashed into the cabinet doors and they burst open, revealing a goose hiding within wearing an odd pair of multicolored spectacles.
"Who are you?!" the teacher shrieked, seeing the goose.
The goose honked at her and then stared at the furious owl. The goose was no stranger to owls and he rose to his full height, spreading his wings and looking down at Hedwig. The vast majority of the time, this display of confidence usually gave owls a moment's pause and forced them to re-evaluate their next move.
The vast majority of owls were not Hedwig.
Hedwig screeched her hunting cry and flew at the goose, talons first. Unperturbed, the goose charged and both large birds collided bodily, shocking Sinistra even more. Goose and owl fought each other, beaks biting and nipping, wings flapping and flailing. Webbed feet kicked at the owl and she clawed back with her talons. Honks and screeches and shouts and barks filled the air as the two birds fought amid the large model of the solar system.
Sinistra could only watch with open mouth shock as the two birds fought each other. At first, the goose thought it was some grand game. It fought with a clearly amused expression, but the expression steadily changed the longer the two fought. The amusement became concentration, which turned into unease, resulting finally in desperation. The goose had never fought this long or this hard before, not even against dogs and cats and even humans. No other beast nor person had been this tenacious and on closer inspection, this full of pure anger and rage.
The goose was slammed into the Earth and the glasses flew off, showing black eyes full of fear. Hedwig mantled her wings and with another screech, flew right at the goose. The goose shrieked and dove, barely avoiding the talons. Hedwig glanced off the Earth and went flying into Jupiter, disappearing into the cloud giant planet with a surprised squawk. Seeing his chance, the goose fled after scooping up the multihued specs, honking fearfully as it ran.
Hedwig went flying out of the other side of the gas planet, crashing into a pile of cushions. She scrambled out and somehow looked even more angry than before. With another screech that made the very planets shiver, she flew out of the door in hot pursuit, screaming the entire time.
Sinistra stood there and gaped at the destruction the two birds had left.
-0-
The goose was being hunted.
The goose was used to being hunted. Every time before, it had treated the hunters with casual disdain and eventual disappointment. The goose was a paragon among geese, a magnificent specimen. Most knew not to actually bother the goose, not wanting to draw his ire or attention. Most try to dissuade him if they could, others simply let the goose be, knowing the cost in doing so did not outweigh the benefits.
The goose always saw being hunted as a game, a chance for it to outwit his foes and enjoy himself. He liked the games, being a nuisance, proving his superiority. He had never met his match before and always succeeded where many failed. He was smug in his superiority.
This time however, he knew this time was different,
He knew that this time he was being hunted by something relentless. Someone filled with undeniable will and supreme focus. An owl who was severely hacked off and was looking to take it out on him.
For the first time in an incredibly long time, the goose was the prey. And he fled because he knew his life depended on it.
-0-
Hedwig was more than angry.
She was incredibly pissed off.
She had flown around the castle, looking for this feathered imposter. The one who dared besmirch her name and make others accuse her of his wrongdoings. She had investigated the many, many, scenes of many crimes and had caught the scent. She trailed it to the Astronomy classroom and had caught the damned goose red-billed and webbed feet.
The fight had only served to stoke the flames of her rage. She had taken the fight seriously from the start and saw that the goose had not. It pleased her to see the goose fight more seriously as the fight continued and she was moments away from wringing the goose's neck. Only a cowardly move and a surprisingly realistic model of the planet Jupiter had saved him and Hedwig had come out of the planet even madder than before.
Normally she would revel in a challenge. She was an intelligent owl after all and enjoyed thinking of new ways to solve things, or to test her limits. Normally. Like Harry said, she really did hate being misrepresented and blamed unfairly for things she did not do. She was proud of her achievements, both the good and the not-as-good, and did not like being accused of things that she did not do.
This was the first time in a very long time that she was not able to solve the problem within moments. She was a mighty huntress. A predator. The best damned post owl and companion for her boy and chick. And the existence of this goose and his crimes was a blot on her honor.
And she would not suffer that.
She would have her revenge.
-0-
"Wait, do you hear that?" Hermione asked. She and Harry had run all over the castle, looking for Hedwig and following random acts of chaos. Various scenes of strangeness led them from one to the other until they stopped in a hallway that led towards the Astronomy tower.
"I do," Harry said, stopping. "Sounds like honking-"
The goose rounded the corner, running as fast as it could with his wings up, looking back fearfully and honking from fear. Not looking where he was running, he ran right into Harry who had pushed Hermione out of the way. Boy and goose went head over tail and fell into a heap.
"Harry!" Hermione shouted, gasping at the sight.
Hedwig flapped around the corner and shrieked her loudest yet, seeing the goose standing on top of Harry. She tackled the goose bodily, sending both birds over in a tumbling heap of white feathers and flailing wings.
"Hedwig!" Harry slapped on a pair of glasses, his having fallen off during the impact. He rose unsteadily to his feet, squinting. "Wait, I can't see."
"Those aren't your glasses," Hermione said, seeing the multihued spectral specs on his face. She looked around for Harry's usual round frames.
"Aren't these Luna's?" Harry asked, taking them off and squinting myopically at them.
"I think so, how did the goose get them?" Hermione summoned Harry's glasses to her and tapped them to repair them.
"Thank you," Harry said, putting them on with a sigh of relief. He groaned when he saw the goose flapping away shrieking from fear with Hedwig flapping close behind shrieking from rage. "Hedwig! Come back here!"
-0-
Inky frowned at the contents of the large washtub. "Ebbers?"
"Yes?" Ebbers, the head house elf in charge of the Hogwarts kitchens, walked up to Inky. "What is it?"
"Inky thinks the cleaning department mixed up their washing again," Inky said, lifting a set of soaked robes out of the washtub.
Ebbers groaned. "Not again," he sighed. He fished out a pair of socks and a pair of pants. "We wash produce in this washtub! It's bad mixing clothes and food!"
Dobby frowned as he looked at the tub. "They said they would not do that again," he said slowly.
"Who did this?!" an elf shouted, staring into a room with open shock. Others came running over and they all looked into the messy pantry with equal disgruntlement.
"Right before dinner too!" Inky said angrily, looking at the disorganized mess. She squinted, peering into the pantry and adjoining room where they stored the many kinds of meat. "Quarters?"
An older house elf appeared, wearing a military cap and holding a swagger stick under one arm. "What?"
"When did Quarters order a goose?" Inky asked.
Quarters blinked. "Quarters didn't order a goose. If Quarters ordered geese, there would be geese. One cannot feed all of Hogwarts with one goose." He, Ebbers, Inky, and Dobby looked at the goose that sat on a low shelf, eyes closed and tongue hanging loosely out from parted beak.
A loud clatter drew their attention and they looked up, seeing the door leading into the hall open. Hedwig swooped in and landed on a counter, looking around the expansive kitchens with narrowed eyes.
"Hi Hedwig," Inky said, waving.
The owl hooted back distractedly, still looking around. Still hunting. A rustle of feathers made her head spin and she flew into the air and swooped into the pantry. A cacophony of barks and honks filled the air and the goose that was feigning dead came screaming out, bowling house elves over as it fled from the kitchen.
Hedwig flapped out in pursuit but stopped, diving low. She snatched up a large cleaver in one talon and continued the chase, screaming bloody murder.
"That's Ebbers' favorite cleaver," Ebbers said with giant eyes.
"Hedwig will take good care of it," Inky said, unperturbed by the series of events. "Unless Ebbers wants to follow after and get it back.
"No, Hedwig can borrow," Ebbers said with a slight shiver.
-0-
"You should try to look less amused," Flitwick remarked.
"But I am terribly amused," Dumbledore said, not quite able to hide his smile. "Despite cleaning up all of the strange incidents, it has been quite an entertaining day."
The two men stood in the Great Hall, having met there after doing many said cleaning up moments throughout the castle. Dinnertime was approaching and the two had stopped in the Great Hall to take a look around, happy to see that nothing seemed amiss there. They turned and smiled seeing Harry and Hermione there, followed closely by Luna. "Have you found Hedwig?" Dumbledore asked.
Harry sighed and shook his head. "No, and that worries me slightly. Oh by the way, here." He handed Luna the spectral specs and she beamed.
"Oh you found them! Did Bartleby give them to you when he was finished with them?"
"His name is Bartleby?" Hermione asked.
Luna nodded. "He looks like a Bartleby."
"I only got the briefest look when he knocked Harry over and knocked his glasses off," Hermione said,
"Oh, I'm sure he didn't mean to," Luna said, looking up at Harry.
"Well he was being chased by Hedwig so he probably had other things on his mind," Harry said.
"I thought you said you did not know the goose," Flitwick frowned.
"Not well," Luna said dreamily. "I'm only assuming his name is Bartleby."
Dumbledore's chuckling stopped and he tilted his head. "Does anyone else hear that?" They all looked up, hearing a faint sound getting louder.
"Can anything come from the enchanted ceiling?" Hermione asked as they looked up at said enchanted ceiling. It was one of the wonders of Hogwarts. The ceiling of the Great Hall normally reflected the weather outside but could also be changed by the Headmaster, showing any kind of weather and environment.
"Typically not," Dumbledore said. He frowned, his eyes focusing on something. "That said, there are openings to the roof of the school as you know, as well as a connection to the belltower-"
They all gasped as Bartleby and Hedwig came into view. Bartleby was shrieking with unmistakable fear as he desperately dodged Hedwig swinging the cleaver at him with her talons. He flew and dodged for his life as he was chased by the vengeful snowy owl who looked like she wanted to bury the cleaver into the goose with violent intent.
"Where did she get that knife?!" Hermione shouted.
"Hedwig no!" Harry shouted, running towards them.
"Bartleby didn't mean it!" Luna shouted, chasing after him.
Seeing his chance, Bartleby dove and managed to barrel through Harry by running between his legs and knocking him over. The goose hid behind Luna, cowering. Hedwig screeched seeing Harry knocked over once more and she flew towards the goose, cleaver held high. Luna stood in front of Bartleby and held her hand up.
Hedwig veered at the last moment and flapped her wings in place, screeching at Luna.
"I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding!" Luna said loudly, trying to placate the owl.
"Hedwig, put the cleaver down!" Harry said, scrambling to his feet. "I get it but seriously, drop the knife, please."
Hedwig turned her head back and forth, looking from Luna to Harry and back again. She finally huffed and dropped the cleaver delicately in Harry's hand. When they relaxed, she pounced. She fluttered behind Luna and wrapped her talons around Bartleby's neck, throttling him,
"Hedwig, don't do it!" Luna shouted, trying to get her to let go. Harry tried to grab Hedwig around her flapping wings and a wild skirmish broke out between goose, owl, boy, and girl.
"What is going on here?!"
Minerva McGonagall, Head of Gryffindor, Deputy Headmistress, and Transfiguration professor appeared in the open doorway with her hands on her hips, looking sternly at them all. She spared the fighting birds a brief second glance before she focused on first Harry, then Dumbledore. "I just returned, see the school in such a state, and walk in on this?!"
"Hello Minerva," Dumbledore greeted meekly, wilting a little at her glare. "Just a bit of a disagreement, as you see."
"A bit of a disagreement," McGonagall repeated. With a snort, she walked over to the fighting birds and the people trying to pull them apart. "That is enough, young lady!"
"I'm trying to help!" Luna said indignantly.
"Not you, Miss Lovegood. Hedwig! Release the goose now! I understand your desire to do so given my experience with geese, but there will not be one killed by strangulation in front of me and at the school." She narrowed her eyes at Hedwig's glare. "Now, young lady, if you please."
Hedwig huffed and reluctantly let go of Bartleby's neck, one talon at a time. She continued to glare at both McGonagall and Bartleby, growling. She sounded like millstones grinding against one another, each desiring to disfigure the other while crushing wheat between them, a throaty sound full of violent desire.
They all went back to Dumbledore's office, with Bartleby hiding behind Luna the entire time. After McGonagall heard a full account of everything, she sighed and rubbed her eyes. "What are you even doing here in the first place, Mister Bartleby?" she asked.
The goose honked, pointing with his beak up and out the window. He pointed at the belltower and as if on cue, the bell tolled, filling the air with brassy notes.
"You want the bell?" McGonagall asked and looked nonplussed at Bartleby's eager nods.
"Well, unfortunately we cannot part with it, it's a part of the school," Dumbledore said with surprising reason. "That said, perhaps this will suffice." He walked to one of his cabinets and looked within, eventually withdrawing a small hand bell. He started casting charms on it and soon nodded, satisfied. "There we are. I would be happy to give you this bell, if it pleases you."
Bartleby danced up and down, honking with delight. He looked happy when Dumbledore conjured a ribbon and threaded the end of the bell through it, hanging it off Bartleby's neck.
"There! Now everyone is happy," Dumbledore smiled. "And no harm done!"
Harry just managed to catch Hedwig who had been sitting on his head, clacking her beak and glaring at the goose. At Dumbledore's statement, she launched herself into the air and was about to fly at both the older man and the goose, but Harry just managed to catch Hedwig around her body, pinning her wings to her sides. He turned to Hermione who opened his shirt and they managed to stuff the incensed snowy owl into Harry's shirt front, pinning her to him.
Her head popped out of the collar and she opened her beak wide to shriek with indignation but Harry managed to put his hand over her beak, wincing as she bit hard and gnawed on his hand out of frustration.
Bartleby, knowing he had escaped death and/or disfigurement by seconds, bobbed his head at everyone respectfully, bowing deep to a silently screaming Hedwig, and nuzzled Luna before waddling out of the office, the bell ringing merrily around his neck.
Dumbledore looked sheepishly at Hedwig who was glaring mightily at him. "You must understand, I was doing what I could to assuage all. But I have not forgotten you. I personally and formally apologize for everyone's sake in the castle for casting doubt over your reputation. I will also go to Diagon Alley and visit the butcher there and purchase a large section of the best bacon I can find."
He gulped as she narrowed her eyes. "Two sections. As a personal thank you for your restraint and understanding." He sighed with relief as she nodded, smiling wryly as she twisted in Harry's shirt and stuck her rear out to moon him before she nestled down, hooting grumpily.
"Perhaps some good will come from all this," he added.
"You don't honestly believe that, do you?" Flitwick asked.
"Stranger things have happened," Dumbledore shrugged.
-0-
A year later.
It was not a peaceful nor beautiful day at Hogwarts.
The castle was under siege by the forces of the Dark Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters. After a year of skirmishing and posturing, Voldemort decided to attack the school and to do away with Harry and Dumbledore once and for all. After causing mayhem around the country, distracting the government, he attacked the school, wishing to kill his foes.
The castle still stood despite the attacks, the magic, the fires and destruction. It protected the people within but it was only a matter of time before there would be a breach and blood would be spilled.
Cold and cruel, the Dark Lord stood on an outcrop, staring at the castle. His mouth curled in a savage smile as he watched the walls and the magical barriers weakening. "Soon," he murmured. "Soon we will break them open and kill all that dares oppose us."
The great bell of Hogwarts tolled, the first time since the beginning of the assault. Loud brassy notes filled the air, drowning out the roar of battle and the din of destruction. Voldemort laughed cruelly. "See how they try to drum up morale?" he said and his followers laughed with him. "A pitiful attempt at staving off the inevitable."
He frowned. The great bell had stopped tolling but he could still hear the sound of bells, still ringing in the distance. It continued to ring, getting closer. He looked around, confusion growing.
"What's that sound?" one of the Death Eaters asked.
"Bells, you idiot," another snorted.
"Not that," the first one said sourly. "Something else."
"Silence," Voldemort commanded. They all fell silent, listening hard. Spellcasting stopped and even the fires seemed to lessen in volume as they canted their heads.
Honk.
"Sounds like ducks," one muttered.
Honk.
"Ducks don't honk," another said scornfully.
Honk. Honk.
"Yeah, gooses honk," another said.
Honk. Honk. Honk.
"Geese, you idiot," another spat.
Honk. Honkhonk. Honkhonkhonkhonk-
"It's getting closer," one murmured, eyes wide.
Screams of shock and surprise filled the air as a tidal wave of white and grey forms burst through the edge of the Forbidden Forest. The forces of the Death Eaters were suddenly swarmed by flapping wings and battering bills as an immense flock of geese fell upon them. Honks and shouts warred with one another as the dark witches and wizards were suddenly assaulted by this new threat.
Voldemort opened his mouth wide and no words emerged as the last thing he saw was the largest goose he had ever seen before flew at him swinging a brass bell that stuck him hard along the temple and he fell to the earth, unconscious.
-0-
Dumbledore had hoped aid would come to Hogwarts but not even he could have foreseen that it would come in the form of geese. That said, after a moment's confusion, he and Harry rallied the defenders and led a counter from the castle. Between the two forces, the Death Eaters were routed and defeated. After going over the field, they found Tom Riddle beaten into unconsciousness by the bell and many beaks and wings, then soundly trampled by uncounted webbed feet. By then, the Ministry arrived and were tasked with the clean-up. Riddle was taken away and dealt with as was the rest of the captured Death Eaters and followers with precious few escaping, only to be chased down in the coming days by Aurors.
Dumbledore looked over the flock of geese that remained at the school, led by Bartleby and his bell. Sadly not all of the geese had come through unscathed and they were treated with equal honor as any that defended the school and her inhabitants. The majority of the geese left but a fair flock remained behind, looking at the grounds and the Lake with interest.
Dumbledore smiled down at Bartleby and the other geese. "I think Hogwarts would be honored to have a place for you here.
The geese honked loudly, flapping their wings and dancing from foot to foot. Bartleby rang his bell and Hogwarts did the same with hers, the air filling with joyous music. When it subsided, Bartleby shot a nervous glance to one side, looking pleadingly.
Hedwig sighed. She had been injured early on in the Battle of Hogwarts, having vented her ire on a giant that threw a boulder that had knocked Harry over, injuring him as well. She had flown at the giant in a rage and dispatched it, but was hurt in the process. After being rescued by Harry, she was unable to fly and was stuck indoors healing. She was not upset at all with the turn of events, but she did give Bartleby a long look before she nodded magnanimously.
This led to even more joyous honking and bell ringing with the sound of bells increasing as Dumbledore conjured more for the Hogwarts' flock and new resident geese.
-0-
In the years following, there were many beautiful days at Hogwarts. Even when it rained, even when it snowed, the days were beautiful in their own ways. The sound of bells, smaller but no less warm, rang out at all times of the day and the people of Hogwarts and Hogsmeade were used to them and enjoyed them.
Not everyday was peaceful, but every day had peace.
Whether or not if someone was being horrible.
After all, there were differing degrees of horribleness with many being rather pleasant comparatively.