21. Having received what he wanted, Hachiman Hikigaya wasn't happy
A tiger protects its skin, while a person protects their name. Reputation is very important in Japan. Oscar Wilde's idea that the only thing worse than universal condemnation is universal silence still hasn't taken hold here, even in the 21st century.
People still sacrifice their reputation to achieve goals. In my case, to thwart the plans of the Kuronaga-gumi, I had to name a specific victim of their machinations — me. That would place one Hachiman Hikigaya against the whole law enforcement system.
But if you think that one message radically changed my life once again, you're mistaken. The wheels of the journalistic investigation turned as slowly as the indifferent gears of the justice system, which wasn't particularly interested in the outcome.
Nearly two weeks passed, during which I was called in for questioning just once. A detective from the city police department and a representative from the prefectural commission spent almost three hours asking me the same questions, none of which were supported by solid evidence. Most of them were dismissed by Tada, and I answered the minority. They didn't even seize my personal laptop or phones. They only checked my work computer, where, of course, they found nothing related to the case. Yet the case stubbornly remained open.
I found temporary work at a shop near my house. In the evenings, I watched episodes of the NaNaNoCo vlog. Yukino once caught me doing this. The episode was about ethnic discrimination in university admissions. In one university, the admissions committee preferred an ethnic Japanese candidate over a half-Canadian, despite equal scores. In another, they "lost" the exam papers of four Koreans with Japanese citizenship. Terasawa tore into the college administrations.
Yukino told me that labor disputes related to ethnic discrimination had been becoming more common in recent years. But she wasn't interested in the channel itself.
Finally, Terasawa reached out to me.
"Hikigaya-san, I checked your information through my channels. Sato Kobayashi is a shady character who's no stranger to escaping justice. Four years ago, he was an accomplice in a extortion case. But then, the key prosecution witness mysteriously disappeared, and the case fell apart. There were a couple of smaller cases after that. He's highly regarded by Rentaro Hoshino. My sources say that personal investments from this gangster pass through him."
"Are you going to do a piece on how Hoshino and Kobayashi decided to shift the blame for their crimes onto the person investigating them?"
"My team and I are already editing the new episode of NaNaNoCo. If you don't mind, I'll announce it today, and it will be released in three days. With that in mind, I have a request. Could you provide a personal comment?"
"I have no charisma. My face on the screen would drive away half the viewers."
"No worries. Don't take offense, Hikigaya-san, but it's probably better this way. I'll show that they specifically chose an unpleasant-looking person to be the scapegoat. Public stunts like this rarely play out in only one direction, detective."
"I agree. Should I come to the studio?"
"No, we'll do it over a video call. I'll send you the questions. Find a quiet place. We'll adjust the background if necessary or remove it entirely."
And that's what we did. Three days later, NaNaNoCo released a new investigation about how the police and prosecution of Chiba protect a Yakuza financier from criminal prosecution. Yukino wasn't mentioned, but the story about the criminal case against Detective Hikigaya, who dared to target a relative of the Kuronaga-gumi leader, was at the forefront.
The next day, the press secretary of the city police held a briefing during which she called my criminal prosecution a "technical error." She also promised that CCPD would take all necessary measures to ensure that suspects in organized crime activities couldn't dictate their will to law-abiding citizens.
I was ordered to appear at the station, where I was told the case was closed, and I was dismissed for "failure to meet the requirements of my position." Not officially, but I was also warned that I wouldn't be able to work in any government or municipal agency, not even as a janitor. I left under the gloomy gazes of my former colleagues. No one likes it when you air their dirty laundry.
I wasn't worried about work. Anticipating such an obvious turn of events, I had already found a job as a truck driver at a wholesale company. Compared to my detective salary, I'd be losing about 700,000 yen a year, but that was something I could live with.
At home, I found Yukino. Nothing unusual. Sometimes she would come back early and finish her endless work tasks in the comfort of our apartment. But my wife was busy with something else. She was packing a suitcase. In the carrier, Hana hissed discontentedly.
"What happened, Yukino?"
"I warned you, Hachiman. Yesterday you helped my family, but you inflicted a painful blow on me personally. I need to understand if I'm willing to tolerate this kind of treatment from my husband. Please, give me time."
I froze. In my life, I've seen and done many bad and frightening things. I'd killed, stolen, begged for mercy, even dealt with my mother-in-law, and survived. But that voice, fragile and cold like the thin crust of morning ice on a puddle after a night frost, was more terrifying than anything.
Once, I had caused Yukino Yukinoshita a lot of pain. I wasn't there, I didn't see her suffer. Now, I have caused pain to the most important person in my worthless life again. And I saw it all.
Maybe only I could distinguish those nuances on my beloved wife's impassive face. Neither her parents, nor her sister, nor her few friends, nor colleagues, nor opponents in court would ever understand how much it hurt her behind that icy mask.
Yukino quickly finished packing. My wife has no attachment to things; she discards them without regret when they become unnecessary. Does a snake mourn its shed skin? No, on the contrary, it itches and becomes uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry. I had no choice."
"Don't speak. Give me some time. Maybe later I'll forgive you. When I can think rationally. Not now."
Yukino left our apartment without saying goodbye. I didn't have the strength to even close the door. I just stood there, watching her go.